Trading Spaces
by SnippyandSnarky
Summary: New & Improved! COMPLETE! HP/DM, SS/HG: Dumbledore's scheme to create House Unity has great consequences. House Mascots, Traded Prefects -- Snippy, Snarky, Snakes, Shagging, Snogging are included! Enjoy, thee, thee, thee . . . Thank you and goodnight!
1. Trading Prefects

**TITLE:** Trading Spaces

**RATING:** R (slash warning m/m)

**PAIRING**: HG/SS, HP/DM, HP/HG (friendship)

**AUTHORS' NOTE:** **COMPLETE!! **This story takes place in Book 7, much speculation abounds. We've drawn some ideas from some other wonderful Harry Potter fic (Pawn to Queen, The Fire and The Rose, Avatar, Artful Facade). We will be updating every two weeks, possibly with more than one installment, depending on fate and life. Any constructive criticism is greatly appreciated.

**SUMMARY**: What do you call a cross between a Gryffindor and a Slytherin? A prefect! Don't worry, it's not "what would happen in he had been sorted into . . ." Dumbledore works in mysterious ways as Voldemort grows in power and daring. Other than that? Shippyness, Snogging, Shagging, Snippy and Snarky! Trust me, it'll all make sense in a little while.

**Attention: This story has been re-edited!! Formatting issues were resolved, typos were corrected, and oh year -- NEW CONTENT ADDED!! The new content is interspersed throughout the story, but equals about 50+ pages. Also, I will be adding an epilogue with a teaser. Please review! I am writing a sequel, so if you have any thoughts, or would be interested in reading, let me know . . . **

**Chapter One: Trading Prefects**

****

* * *

Hermione Granger and Harry Potter smiled as Hogwart's School of Wizardry and Witchcraft came into view. They were happy to see the place they had learned to call home. They were also relieved that they had survived their trip aboard the flying taxicab. The purple taxi was emblazoned with a green sign that read 'Witch Way?' and the ride had been terrifying. They'd swooped and swirled, narrowly missing the sides of buildings and the like. Thank goodness the thing was protected by an invisibility spell or the Muggles would have confused it with a U.F.O.

They paid the driver and then hopped down from the taxi. Their bags shot out of the trunk and landed at their feet along with the cages that contained Hedwig and Crookshanks.

"I think I've been on this ride before. Least we didn't end up in the surly tree." Harry said dryly. Hedwig ruffled her feathers and squawked at her owner as if it were his fault. Crookshanks hissed and began to lick his fur back into place. While it wasn't stellar service, it was efficient. The driver swung it around and then it disappeared as it cloaked itself and took off. They both turned to look at the old castle once more.

Home. It was odd to think of such a dignified gothic building as home but, nevertheless, she and Harry did. They were both looking forward to their final year but they were also filled with trepidation. It had all finally come to a head. Voldemort and his Death Eaters were closing in and it was only a matter of time before there was a final confrontation. Harry and Hermione both knew that the battleground would be Hogwarts.

"I prefer the regular sort of cab." Hermione said disdainfully, trying to achieve a light mood. For right now, she just wanted to enjoy being here. She'd worry about everything else when she had to.

"I'd have to disagree with you, despite the terrifying speed." Harry said. "Every time I went in one with The Dursleys I had to ride in the trunk, squished against the luggage."

"So, it's an improvement to have to dodge it?" Hermione offered. Harry merely smiled. "At least you don't have to live with those beastly Dursleys ever again."

"Next to summer at The Dursleys, Voldemort doesn't look so bad." He joked and was rewarded with a smile.

They began to run up the stairs, eager to begin a new year regardless of the difficulties involved. They left their belongings at the entrance gate. The house elves would be down to collect them as well as their familiars and take them to their chambers. She couldn't keep from feeling self-satisfied, every single one of them were currently receiving wages and taking vacations. Freedom was contagious. Their two pets were completely spoiled by the staff. Hermione had no doubt that Hedwig would be dining on the finest owl treats that Hogwarts owned and Crookshanks would be given a big bowl of cream.

The school grounds were uncharacteristically empty but soon they would be filled with bustling students and harried professors. Harry and Hermione had both been made prefects and they were looking forward to their newfound power and station. Unfortunately, there were only two prefects per House so Ron wouldn't be one as well. However, Ron didn't seem to be upset about it, he'd always disapproved of his brother, Percy's prefect status. The redhead rather enjoyed making mischief and wouldn't look forward to ruining it for other students.

Harry swung his satchel onto his shoulder as they continued their walk to the entrance. Hermione couldn't believe how much he changed. He was easily six-foot tall and his frame had acquired a good deal of lean muscle. But some things never changed. His hair was still a wild shock of brown, which only parted to reveal the lightning shaped scar on his head. His wire-rimmed glasses were small and the left eyepiece was twisted.

She fished her wand out of her back pocket. "Occulis Repairo." She waived the wand in the air and the metal dutifully obeyed her command and straightened out. "Honestly, Harry, it's a simple spell, I'm sure you could remember it if you tried."

His grin was cheeky. "Why should I? You do it so well." She rolled her eyes at him. Harry noted that Hermione had changed too. She was taller, nearly 5'7. Her curled hair had been controlled so that it fell in soft defined curls instead of its once tangled, bushy appearance. It must have taken some expensive hair care products and some magic as well. "The question is, what am I going to do if they break when you aren't around?"

"Call an optometrist but I doubt that they could do as good of a job as me." She said smugly. "And it certainly wouldn't be as fast." They ascended the final staircase together. Hermione's expression softened. "You'll never have to do that, Harry; you're saddled with me forever." She had a feeling that theirs was a lifelong friendship. Ron, Harry, and she would surely have adjoining rooms at Wizarding Restland. If they lived that long.

He smiled warmly at her. "I'm not going anywhere either."

"Speaking of friends, how's Ron?" Hermione asked curiously. "I saw you got owled by him this morning only I was too busy packing." They hadn't heard from him in awhile. He'd been spending most of the summer with his new girlfriend, Madeleine Mabb, a sixth year Ravenclaw. Because of the mysterious "special circumstances" that were alluded to in their letters from Professor McGonagall, they had to come in two weeks early for extra prefect training.

When they got to the top of the grand staircase, they were greeted by Professor McGonagall herself.

"There you are." She said as she spotted them. "Mr. Potter, Miss Granger." She said warmly. "You both had a good holiday, I trust?"

"Yes, professor." Harry answered. "Hermione and I went with her parents to Rome."

"Such a lovely place." She remarked.

"Yes, it was. We had a great time. Did you have a good holiday, Professor?" Hermione asked politely.

"Oh. Yes. Quite." She said with a distracted air. "Unfortunately, I have to leave you. I'm afraid that there is much to do here. Preparations to be made. Precautions." She nearly whispered the last. She cleared her throat. "Please, proceed to the prefect's lounge where you'll find some refreshments laid out. We'll discuss the housing situation this evening. The professors, the staff, and the prefects will be meeting in the school governance chambers in an hour to discuss this year." She gave them a vague smile before she bustled off, presumably to attend to another task.

Harry and Hermione exchanged looks, thinking that being a prefect was going to be a greater responsibility than they'd bargained for.

****

* * *

Harry consulted his watch for the eighth time and looked over at Hermione. "All set, then? We're going to be late."

"I guess so!" She said. She had already taken out her schoolbooks for the year and was indexing them. "But I should really get on this."

"I worry about you sometimes, Hermione." Harry voiced.

Hermione glared at him. "We'll just see who becomes valedictorian, shall we?"

"I've no doubt that it will be you. You are the best student ever at Hogwarts, Hermione." Harry teased as he went to the door. "Now, let's go and get this meeting out of the way. I have no desire to be trapped in a small room with Snape any longer than I have to."

"You should get used to it." Hermione gave him a grim look. "We have Triple Potions this year. That means that sometimes we'll have three classes a day with him."

"Kill me now." Harry muttered.

"I'm sure if you ask Professor Snape he'll happily oblige you." She said sweetly as they found their way to the meeting room.

When they arrived, Professor Dumbledore and Hagrid were deeply involved in conversation. Professors Sprout and Flitwick were sipping tea. Professors McGonagall and the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Slub, were laying out information packets on the tables. The table was adorned with a banner that showed all of the Houses united under the heading of Hogwarts. One side of the table was for professors and staff and the other side was for prefects. All the chairs were decorated with each of the four Houses' symbols.

Harry and Hermione approached the headmaster and the gamekeeper.

"Professor, nice to see you." Hermione said to Dumbledore.

"Professor." Harry nodded.

"Welcome back to Hogwarts." Dumbledore intoned with a gleam in his eyes. It was clear that they were two of his favorite students. "I trust that you will both be excellent prefects." They both ducked their heads, pleased with his compliment.

The half giant beamed when he saw two of his three favorite students. "Hello there, Hermione, Harry." Hagrid said as he enveloped them both in a huge hug, nearly pulling them up off the ground.

As Hagrid finally released them, Professor Snape strolled into the room. He caught site of Harry and Hermione and smiled - rather unpleasantly, the expression dripping with a dark sort of satisfaction. He sat down in his customary chair, which was emblazoned with his house's logo. Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson sat down in the chairs opposite Snape.

"Shall we begin?" Snape made it clear that he thought this was a waste of his valuable time.

Harry and Hermione reluctantly approached the table. Unfortunately, their House was located next to Slytherin. Harry sat beside Malfoy who sneered at both of them.

Draco eyed Harry and drawled, "Miss me, Potter?"

"You wish, Malfoy." Harry shifted in his seat; half wishing he could have made Hermione sit next to Draco. There was something about him, his self-assured smirk and mocking, slow-paced voice that got under Harry's skin.

Malfoy delivered a quick kick to Harry's chair, nearly knocking him to the floor. When Harry and Hermione glared at him, he shrugged. "Oh, I thought your chair was unsteady." He smirked. "Just trying to help."

Hermione noted that Snape watched this without comment. If they'd dared to do that to Malfoy, Gryffindor would have lost points already. When his head turned, to say something to McGonagall, she leaned over and said one word in a whisper to Malfoy, "Ferret."

Draco actually shuddered at the memory of Mad Eye Moony turning him into one of the furry creatures. He muttered under his breath, crossing his arms over his chest. He promised himself he'd get even with her later. Maybe in Potions class.

Harry chuckled as she settled back beside him and he gave her hand an affectionate squeeze under the table. Despite much conjecture about possible romances amongst the Golden Trio, the only thing the three of them held was a deep affection and connection, created by hardships and overcoming them together. Snape turned to stare at both of them but made no comment.

Hagrid, Filch, and Madam Pomfrey all sat at the end of the table. As Dumbledore took his seat at the head of the table, everyone quieted down. "First of all, I wish to welcome all of you back to the start of another year at Hogwarts," he said. "I believe this will be an . . . interesting year." He grew graver. "I know that you are all aware of Lord Voldemort's presence in the area?" They all nodded. Draco Malfoy couldn't keep the smirk off his face. "And the recent Death Eater attacks." He appeared to steel himself. "There have been several Muggle murders as well as ritual killings of Muggle-born witches and wizards."

Harry and Hermione continued to hold hands and Harry rubbed small circles on Hermione's skin with his thumb in a soothing gesture. She bit her lip as she realized that she would be a natural target for Lord Voldemort. She was close to Harry as well as being Muggle-born. Harry glanced at Malfoy to gage his reaction to the information. His face was set in inscrutable lines, though a muscle twitched in his jaw. Harry arched a brow at him, mouthing, "You ok, Malfoy?"

Malfoy looked perplexed for a second, and then glared at him. Leaning close enough that his breath brushed Harry's ear, he murmured, "Sod off, Potter."

Harry bit his tongue to hold back a sharp retort and turned away. Ron had written to Harry frequently to keep him abreast of news in the Wizarding world, particularly anything sensitive he had learned from his father. At some point over the summer months, Lucius Malfoy had sent his son to his wife, Narcissa and come out in full support of Voldemort as one of his most trusted and valued Death Eaters. While, as far as the public was concerned, the eighteen year old was innocent, secretly the ministry was afraid that Lucius had started the process on initiating his son into the inner sanctum of the Dark Lord. They had considered preventing him from coming to Hogwarts this year, especially when it was discovered that Lucius still regularly corresponded with the boy, but Dumbledore had interceded on his behalf, saying that everyone was innocent until proven guilty, and every son had the right to speak to his father.

Dumbledore steepled his hands as he regarded them all. "I thought very seriously about closing the school." There was a general outcry from the students but he held up a hand. "I have decided to keep it open though. However, I know that Voldemort will be coming for Hogwarts. He's always wanted this school. Voldemort wishes to turn this school into a dark academy to produce more Death Eaters. He also wants another confrontation with me, as well as-" His eyes rested on Harry. "Others who dwell here." His gaze briefly flickered to Professor Snape. "Therefore, I think that we will all be safer together. Making a stand as a group. Hogwarts will remain open to the very end." He gestured to Professor McGonagall. "Minerva, why don't you give them the details of our plan?"

"We have all decided to make some unorthodox changes for everyone's protection," she announced as she unrolled a piece of parchment. She placed her spectacles on and began to read. "An emergency plan for each House has been drawn up. You will all familiarize yourself with the plan and drill it with your dorm mates. All prefects will be doing nightly rounds in the dormitories at the hours of 7, 9, and 11. At the end of each round, you shall report to the Head of the House and discuss anything unusual or out of the ordinary. Aurors have been dispatched from The Ministry of Magic and they will be on 24 hour watch should you need them. All 6th and 7th year students will be receiving additional Defense Against the Dark Arts instruction in order to better protect themselves and the other students. All of the exits and entrances will be heavily warded and safeguarded with passwords that you will change weekly." The rest of the students, except for Draco Malfoy who continued to regard them all with scorn, seemed to agree with the changes because they nodded and murmured noises of assent.

"And now for the most unusual change." She placed her spectacles on the table. "You will all be switching Houses." There was a sound of protest from the prefects and she held up her hand. "Listen, please. House loyalty and competitiveness has always been encouraged at Hogwarts. However, we cannot afford that luxury at this time. First and foremost, you are all HOGWARTS students, not just Gryffindor or Hufflepuffs and you must remember this."

"Therefore," Professor Dumbledore continued. "All prefects will be traded to the opposing house. Gryffindor will be prefects for Slytherin and vice versa. Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws will also exchange prefects."

Harry and Hermione gulped. They would be working for Professor Snape? They both gave him a sideways glance and he was giving them a look from an American movie, something along the lines of 'Your ass is mine.' No wonder he'd looked more smug than usual. They dragged their attention away from their predicament and once more focused on Dumbledore. "This serves several purposes. As Minerva said, I want to impress the importance of school allegiance upon students verses House allegiance." He looked meaningfully at Draco Malfoy who was busy eyeing Professor McGonagall in much the same way Harry and Hermione were contemplating Snape. "I also want you to be objective in dealing with student indiscretions." In other words, he didn't want House loyalty to lead to having Junior Death Eaters in their midst.

Another, hidden purpose in this decision was to publicly curtail the activities of Draco Malfoy. He was clearly expected to be the head of any Death Eater movement and would now be surrounded by honest and brave Griffyndors. Harry Potter and Hermione Granger would be in contact with Slytherin students. Dumbledore had every faith in the young people and he knew they had part to play in this wizard war. If any trouble were to begin at Hogwarts, it would start with Slytherin House. He also wanted both of them to be under the protection of Severus Snape.

"This means, ladies and gentlemen, that you now belong in two Houses," Professor McGonagall announced. She waved her wand and the opposite House crest appeared just below their prefect badge and next to their other crest. Harry was horrified, his nightmare had come true. He was now a Slytherin, even if it was an honorary sort of membership. "You will also be sleeping in the dormitory of your new House." There was a chorus of groans but she ignored them in favor of addressing Malfoy and Harry. "Since you both play the same position for your House quidditch team, you will alternate between the two sides. To build good will." For once, both Harry and Draco were in agreement about something. They both hated this.

"But, Professor-" Malfoy started.

"I don't-" Harry began.

"For pity's sake," Snape snapped. "There is more to life than that mindless game. I suggest that you both channel your energies towards more meaningful pursuits." He gave Malfoy some sort of a hidden message with his eyes and Draco subsided.

Both Harry and Hermione were informed by Professor Dumbledore about the nature of Professor Snape's association with the Death Eaters and his current role as double agent, as it were. Harry, however, still didn't trust him. And they both didn't like him.

"Are there any questions?" Headmaster Dumbledore inquired. The prefects were all moodily silent. "Fine, then. I suggest that the Heads of House take their new prefects over to their new accommodations and go over whatever else you see fit."

Everyone nodded. Hermione watched longingly as Professor McGonagall invited Pansy and Draco to her quarters. Not that those two would appreciate her concern or her patience.

Snape stood up abruptly. "We'll meet in my chambers. Come!" He commanded as he strode out the door.

Harry looked like he was going to be sick. "Now, he's treating us like dogs," He complained. "I know that this is the least of our problems, but . . . Snape." He said pointing to the area their new supervisor vacated, as if that was all the explanation that was necessary.

"I know," Hermione said sympathetically. They walked out into the corridor but found it empty. "He certainly moves fast."

"He probably turned into a bat and flew there," Harry groused.

"Lumos!" Hermione said, lighting the way to the tower with her wand. "Harry, I know that you don't like Snape." Ever mindful of security, she whispered the Mushmouth Murmur which would make there conversation sound like gibberish to anyone who heard it but them. "I also know that you hold him responsible for what happened to your parents, but--"

"Once a Death Eater, always a Death Eater," Harry intoned. He thought the lot of them were responsible for both what they had done as a group as well as Lord Voldemort's actions.

Hermione let the subject drop. She hated Snape with a fiery passion but she had to admit that he was as brave as any Gryffindor for spying on Voldemort. She respected him for that. Even if he had given her an A- on her final exam last year.

They arrived at his door, which was located at the base of the Slytherin Tower. Harry grasped the doorknocker and knocked three times. From behind the door, he heard, "Enter!"

Neither one of them had ever been in his quarters before and they couldn't help but be fascinated by it. The entire structure was imposing, high ceilings with arched doorways. The walls were done in gray brick, which seemed to give off a forbidding air. It looked a lot like the dungeons. They were in a foyer of sorts and they followed the noise of a crackling fire to the living room. There were Ever-Burning candles on several surfaces, including small tables in the corners of the rooms. One wall of the room was filled with books, which were shoved into over-stuffed bookcases. There was a glass-encased display cabinet, which held several dark arts items such as the Blade of Bane, which killed every human it struck. There was also the illegal Menacing Mist potion.

Snape sat in a high backed chair, waiting for them. There was a tray of tea on the coffee table and he was sipping some from an ebony teacup. Hermione thought he almost looked regal with his formal robes and his indomitable air. "Mr. Potter, Miss Granger, you finally decided to grace me with your presence. Fifteen points a piece from Gryffindor for your tardiness."

Harry's chin rose. "Shouldn't you be subtracting them from Slytherin?"

"When I am pleased with you. . ." He smirked. "Which, I daresay, won't be often, I shall award points to Slytherin. When I am displeased with you, I shall take them away from Gryffindor." One of his long, elegant hands gestured for them to take seats opposite him, which they did reluctantly. "But we have more pressing matters than your pursuit of the almighty House Cup."

Snape's eyes met Hermione's. "I didn't think I'd live to see the day that Miss Granger didn't speak before spoken to." Hermione scooted to the side of her chair so she could be as close to Harry as possible. "Stop cowering, Miss Granger, and have some tea to calm your ridiculous case of nerves."

"I wasn't-"

"Yes, you were." She viciously clamped down on her jaw and poured herself a cup of tea. He eyed Harry. "Waiting for an engraved invitation, Mr. Potter?" Harry dutifully poured himself a cup and brought it to his lips but hesitated. "There's no poison in it." Snape assured him. Harry took a sip. "This time." He let it dribble back into the cup. "Ever heard of manners, boy? I suggest you get some, Potter."

Hermione's eyes widened at her own cup of tea and she placed it back on the table. "You wanted to go over some things with us, Professor?"

"Yes, I do." He removed his wand from a hidden pocket and waived it. Two rolls of parchment appeared on their laps. They unrolled them to reveal a multitude of rules and regulations for prefects. "I suggest that you learn and memorize these as I will be quizzing you over the next few weeks. For every rule you fail to remember, I will penalize Gryffindor one hundred points."

Harry opened his mouth to protest. "You are in my House now, Mr. Potter. You will be living under my rules and there won't be any mollycoddling. You will be expected to be punctual, respectful, work hard, keep order, and do exactly as I say."

He handed them stacks of maps of Hogwarts. They denoted the nearest exit for Slytherin House, which was thoughtfully marked with a green line. It also detailed all of the exits and entrances to the building. "You will post these in the dormitories and then organize drills for the other students. You will keep me abreast of your progress and if there are any problems."

Hermione saw Harry nearly tremble with suppressed anger. To his credit, he remained silent. She was angry as well but she had learned long ago how to keep it in check.

Snape was clearly enjoying himself. He sat back in his chair, watching them both like a bird of prey that had captured two delicious and elusive mice. "As, Professor McGonagall mentioned, you will be expected to patrol the dorms each evening. However, Mr. Potter will also be conducting aerial patrols of the school. It's time that we finally put those quidditch skills to use," Snape said with an air of superiority.

"Aerial patrols!" Hermione repeated "But that's dangerous. He could--"

"I'm sure the indestructible Mr. Potter will be fine. What's a moonlit broom ride compared to a confrontation with Voldemort?"

"It'll be fine, Hermione," Harry said, glaring at Snape. "He's right. Some of us are just better at everything."

Snape set his lips in a grim line before addressing Hermione. "And you, Miss Granger, will help me in the laboratory. We are going to put together an arsenal of potions that will be available when we need them."

"You mean that I'll be brewing potions with you?"

"For the foreseeable future, Miss Granger."

"Just the two of us?"

"Yes, have you developed some learning impairment? Perhaps being partnered with Neville Longbottom these many years has taken a toll on your mental faculties."

"Alone in the dungeon?"

"Do you have a problem with that?" He asked tightly.

"N-no, of course not, sir." Hermione gulped. So this was what Hell was like. She stared into the glittering, triumphant eyes of Professor Snape. And she was about to become better acquainted with Satan.


	2. Snippy and Snarky

**TITLE**: Trading Spaces

**RATING**: R (slash warning m/m)

**PAIRING**: HG/SS, HP/DM, HP/HG (friendship)

**AUTHORS' NOTE:** Even though prefects are usually named in their fifth year, we're going to say that due to the disruption of the War, etc. that they just decided to pick new prefects out of the 7th years, okay? Thanks for bearing with me. Also, all Parseltongue will be in _italics_ -- keep in mind, only a parselmouth can understand snake speech.

**Chapter Two: Snippy and Snarky**

* * *

Harry and Hermione gratefully left Snape's den to seek their beds in the weird new world of the Slytherin dormitories. Harry carried the yellow flamed lamp that led their way. They soon reached their entrance portrait, a mad-looking old wizard in green robes who cast his eyes suspiciously to the right and then to the left. "Who goes there?" He asked, his face twitched and his movements were guarded.

"Harry Potter."

"I know you! You're in the wrong dormitory, boy." The portrait said, its voice growing louder with every word. "What are doing here? SNOOPING? Trying to get INSIDE INFORMATION!"

"No, sir. We're the new prefects for Slytherin. We even know the password!" Hermione explained. Harry muttered something rude under his breath about Slytherins and passwords and greasy professors.

"Don't give me that rubbish! The only people who belong here are Slytherin students. And you two are definitely NOT Slytherin students."

"We're honorary Slytherins," Harry explained. "And believe me; we won't spend anymore time than necessary here."

"Paranoid Pete, let those children pass!" The Bloody Baron, the Slytherin ghost, said as he came to hover beside them. "Didn't you hear? They've switched Houses."

"We don't know that! I heard nothing about this from Professor Snape," Paranoid Pete insisted stubbornly. The Bloody Baron whipped out his fencing foil and stabbed at the painting Pete was occupying. Of course, it went right through it. "Ouch! Ow! You're killing me! Stop that!"

"Rubbish!" The Bloody Baron exclaimed. "You know damn well that you can't feel that. Now, let them through."

"Fine. Password?" The painting asked begrudgingly.

Harry's lips twitched. "Sneaky snake."

"You may enter," Paranoid Pete intoned in a deep and serious voice.

Hermione and Harry walked through the entryway and into the Slytherin common room.

"Look!" Hermione cried. "Is there anything these people won't put a snake on?"

There were Slytherin crests on the wall. There were snake-upholstered furnishings. There were even serpentine rugs on the floor. There were snake sculptures, snakes coiled around the beams that supported the ceiling. There was even a bewitchment on the fireplace, so that tendrils of smoke that looked like snakes hissed at them from the green fire that was burning there. A huge portrait of two snakes entwined adorned the mantle place. "Ugh!" Hermione exclaimed when she saw that last bit.

Harry stopped his inspection of the room to listen carefully. "Do you hear something?"

"No," Hermione answered. "Why?"

There was an adjoining room where Slytherins held House Council and Harry could swear he heard singing coming from the room. "Come on, someone or some thing is here besides us."

"I'm almost afraid to look," Hermione said. "It's like we've plunged down the rabbit hole or something." She could not remember things ever being this strange in the Gryffindor dorm.

They opened the door to the other room and weren't prepared for the sight that greeted them. There were two foot-long snakes . . . dancing on a table. One was a vivid green with blue markings. The other was blue with green markings. They both had red eyes and were singing in harmony, _". . . and sneaky snake goes dancing . . . a-wigglin' and a hissin'. . ."_ They abruptly stopped their sideways shimmy to glare at the intruders.

The blue one scooted to the edge of the table to get a better look. _"Look at this, Snarky, these two have never seen a snake before or something." _

His companion laughed, sounding like a staccato "thee . . . thee...thee." He, too, scooted to the edge of the table. _"Who are these two, Snippy?" _

Snippy did the snake equivalent of a shrug. _"Who cares?"_ He considered Harry for a moment and then hmmphed._ "He's not as pretty as Malfoy."_

"I may not be as pretty as Malfoy," Harry said, leaning down until he was eye-level with the snake. "But I can hear everything that you're saying. So, I'd watch my forked tongue if I were you."

_"Ooooh! I'm sssssooooo scared,"_ Snarky said with an exaggerated hiss. They were far from intimidated and actually seemed excited by the prospect. _"We've got ourselves a parselmouth and he thinks he's special!"_

_"I know who that is! There's only one parselmouth at Hogwarts. That's Harry Potter! Show us the scar! Show us the scar!"_ Snippy demanded.

"I think not," Harry said, standing once more.

"Are they talking to you?" Hermione asked.

_"She must be the know-it-all who hangs out with him,"_ Snippy asserted. _"Her name is Hiney or something."_

_"Doesn't look that ssssmart to me."_ Snarky giggled. _"She's named after a butt."_ Then, they laughed themselves silly. To snakes, the idea of buttocks was apparently _very _amusing.

"Uh, yes. They said . . . welcome to Slytherin."

"I rather doubt that," Hermione said dryly. "You may be a great many things, Harry, but a good liar is not one of them." She pointed an admonishing finger at the snakes. "You two behave yourselves! I may have to take orders from Professor Snape but I'll be damned if I'm going to take sass from mascots. Watch it or you'll find yourself in one of my potions!"

_"Oh my,"_ Snippy said with a mock tremble. _"Threats and finger pointing . . . I think we're ssssupposed to be intimidated at this point."_

_"Really?"_ Snarky looked confused. _"I thought she was a know-it-all. She doesn't even know the difference between sass and intense, witty ssssarcasm."_

_"Maybe we shouldn't be so harsh."_ Snippy gave her a serpentine once over, eyes settling on her less-bushy hair. _"Medusa looks like she'll fit right in here."_

Harry snickered before he could stop himself. At Hermione's arch look he muttered, "They like your hair."

She glowered at the snakes because she somehow guessed that their comments were less than flattering. "I'm sure your conversation is scintillating but I'm tired and I'm going to bed." She glanced at Harry. "Besides, we need to be well rested if we're going to spend the day with Herr Snape and get ready for school." She groaned. "I still have to finish reading Babbleswell's Guide to Tarot for Professor Trelawney's class before I can go to bed." She walked off in the direction of the girls' dormitory bemoaning the fates that were forcing her to take Divination, just because she was a close, personal friend of the Chosen One. The things she did for Harry. "Night, Harry."

_"I thought she'd never leave,"_ Snarky said.

_"Who's surprised she's going to study?"_ Snippy asked. _"Nothing in her bags but pencils and books."_

"You went through her bags?" Harry demanded.

_"Of course,"_ Snippy answered. When Harry continued to scowl, he added, _"Oh, don't feel bad! We went through yours too! No favoritism here in Slytherin House."_

"You went through MY bags!" Harry thundered.

_"He's slow on the uptake!"_ There was another chorus of hissing laughs. _"By the way, those chocolate frogs we're delicioussss,"_ Snarky said and then they both sighed with the remembrance of the chocolate. _"Next time, we'd like the dark chocolate kind."_

"I didn't buy them for YOU!" Harry said tightly. He'd brought a 12 pack with him for when he had an attack of the late night munchies.

_"That's soooo rude,"_ Snippy said. _"Why ever would you bring candy in here if you didn't want us to eat it?"_

_"Hmmph!"_ Snarky said as he slithered off the table and onto the floor. _"See if we talk to you anymore!"_

"I can live with that," Harry said smugly.

_"Really?"_ Snippy said, perking up. _"Then, we'll have to think of something else."_

Snarky pondered this a moment. _"Maybe we should shed our skin in his bed!" _

_"Yeah, and sing songs all night!"_ Snippy threatened.

_"You look like a Britney Spears fan to me,"_ Snarky said with an evil gleam in his red eye.

"NO!" Harry cried. "Anything but that!"

Snippy's eyes widened with delight. _"Yesss, I think so too!"_ They swept out of the room, slinking at high speed.

Harry scrambled after them.

* * *

_"Ooopssss, I did it again. I played with your heart. Got lost in the game. . ." _Snippy was wrapped around the bedpost, bobbing his head.

Snarky did a sidewise shimmy at the end of the bed. _"Oh baby, baby. You think I'm in love and sent from above. I'm not that innocccccent!" _

"I hate you so much." Harry groaned and put his pillow over his head. But not even the fluffiest of Hogwarts' pillows could drown out the noise. "Why can't you be good little snakes and SHUT UP!!"

But the snakes were just getting revved up for their four a.m. private lounge show. Apparently, they'd stolen (big surprise) someone's contraband Muggle radio. They'd been forced to listen to Britney Spears because they only got one pop station and routinely got her songs stuck in their heads. The two snakes had cheerfully told them about their plan to steal a television too so that they could make fun of her videos and appearance.

_"Oh, so you want us to be a. . ." _Snippy did an athletic leap to Harry's bed. "_Sssssslave for you!"_

Snarky did a funky move, twitching his tail back and forth.

Harry grabbed up his wristwatch from the bedside table and flung it at Snippy who neatly bent his head and it slid down his body. _"Oh...sssank you."_ He extended his body so that he could see it against his skin. _"It's shiny."_

Meanwhile, Snarky had changed songs. _"Hit me baby one more time!" _

"Give me back my watch!" Harry yelled.

"Are they talking to you again?" Hermione asked as she came into the room. She was wearing a white robe and nightgown. "Sorry, I would have knocked but the door was already open."

"It's okay. Is something wrong?"

"I don't know. It's just . . . creepy over there. Crookshanks is asleep so I'm all by myself." She sat down on the edge of his bed. "I was hoping I could stay here with you. I'm a little lonely."

"Me too," Harry admitted. "You know, this school year isn't shaping up to be what I thought it would be."

"Me either. I didn't fancy ending up as Snape's potion assistant." Hermione shuddered.

_"Ewwwww, Ssssssnape."_ The snakes chorused and then laughed.

Harry suppressed a smile. Maybe they weren't so bad after all. "Tell you what, Hermione. Let's not worry about him tonight." He lifted the covers up. "Come on, get in. We'll try to get some sleep and worry about him in the morning."

_"Hmmmm . . ."_ Snarky said, interested enough to stop singing. _"Methinks this is the beginning of an immoral liaison."_

_"I do not feel that way about, Hermione!"_ Harry hissed at them.

"Why are you angry?" Hermione asked in reaction to the irritation she could hear even in the hissing.

_"He thinks your ssssexy, Hiney!"_ They both shouted at the same time and then "thee . . . theeee. . .thee'd over that.

"They think we are about to. . ." Harry turned bright red. "Um. . ."

"Oh!" Hermione nodded and then stuck her tongue out. "Ewww!" She picked one offensive serpent up by the end of the tail and brought its face to her own. "Bad, bad snake!"

_"Ssssank you!"_ Snarky said peering at her from his upside down position in her hand._ "By the way, your breath is minty fresh unlike some people we know."_

"What did he say?" She asked tightly.

"He said he was sorry. And he likes your teeth. Now, get out of here, you two!" Harry ordered.

_"Fine."_ Snippy slithered to the door. _"But you're no Malfoy."_

Hermione released the other snake and he joined his friend. _"Yeah, he's certainly no sssex god."_

Harry couldn't help himself. "Malfoy? A sex god?"

Hermione stared at him. "Is there something you want to tell me, Harry?"

**

* * *

**

"Password?"

Draco Malfoy stared intently at the so-called "Fat Lady" portrait. "Slytherin sucks," he muttered. This was one password that would be changed tonight.

"Excuse me, young man?"

"Slytherin sucks," he annunciated very clearly. He was given entrance to the Gryffindor common room. "The inner sanctum, eh?" Unfortunately, he was entering the "lion's den" by himself. Pansy Parkinson had gone to bed earlier that night. She said that she was owling her mother to complain about her new post.

He stared at all of the griffins. They were on the walls and the carpet. They were on the furniture too. "What is it with these people and lions?"

"I am most definitely not a lion!" The imperious voice came from behind him. Curled up on a chaise lay a very small griffin. His wings were white and tucked behind its back. The lion portion of his body was relaxed in its repose, and he rather resembled a very small house cat. "You don't know the difference between a griffin and a lion?"

"I most certainly do." Malfoy sneered. "I just always thought they were bigger."

"Size is not indicative of importance!" He crawled up on the back of the chair and glared at Draco. "Look at you! Oh, yes." The small griffin smirked, settling into a Sphinx like posture to stare intently at the former Prince of Slytherin. "Don't think I don't know who you are. You used to be a rather small, whiny little thing, didn't you?"

"Look, I'm very tired and--"

"Yes, I'm sure sneering takes a lot out of a person," he purred, regally lifting a paw to fix a tuft of fur. The griffin seemed severely unimpressed with him.

"Listen you-"

"Ewe? Pardon me?" He was angry now. "Do I look like a sheep to you, Slytherin?" When Malfoy was too shocked to answer, the griffin stood up and slashed a paw at him, claws out. "Well? Do I?!"

"I wasn't suggesting that you were a sheep, I just don't happen to know your name," Draco said in a calming tone, afraid the Gryffindor furball was going to jump across the chair and claw his face.

"I'm Griff-gruff." He bowed.

"I'm Draco Mal-"

"No need. I know exactly who you are. Harry talks about you _all_ the time." The griffin seemed to be complacent once more.

"Does he?" Draco examined his nails, trying to look casual.

"You needn't look so smug. It's never good." Griff-gruff jumped down onto the seat of the chair. "What are you doing just standing around here? Shouldn't you be setting up your new room? Getting your overly expensive and bulky luggage out of my common room?"

"Your common room?"

"Are you learning impaired?" Griff-gruff raised a brow at him. "Of course it's mine. Do you not see me sitting in here, on my chair, presiding over the activities of this house, even if it's only you and that ghastly Pansy girl?" Malfoy stood, staring at him. "Well, go on! Don't you need time to set up all your mirrors?"

"How did you . . . wait . . . you didn't go through my stuff did you?"

"Of course not!" Griff-gruff looked insulted. "Like I don't have better things to do than play in your knicker bag!" He pulled himself up. "And if I wanted your chocolate, like some House mascots who will go unnamed, I would simply demand that you hand it over." Then he added as an afterthought, "Or claw your sheets to shreds until you realized that you should give me some."

"Then how did you . . . ?"

"What? Just because I don't participate in candy thieving doesn't mean I don't talk to Heckle and Jeckle."

"Snippy and Snarky?"

"They're the biggest gossips in Hogwarts. They told me all about you."

Draco could not think of a single thing to say. Until today, he had never thought he would see an ego to rival his father's. He took out his wand and ordered his trunk to the correct room. "Griff-gruff, could you direct me to the prefect's rooms?"

"Up those stairs, to the left, turn around three times and face right. You can't miss it." The Griffin smiled and gestured vaguely.

"And the password for the prefect's rooms?" He shuddered to think what the answer would be.

"Snape sucks, too!" Griff-gruff chuckled. Then almost as if he had heard a sound near the portrait entrance he got up and jumped off the chair. "G'nite then, Malfoy."

"G'nite." Draco muttered as headed up the stairs.

Griff-gruff watched him leave before huffing, "Sex-god my perfectly fluffy tail. Ha!" Then he padded over to the entrance and opened the door. "Hello Dobby."

* * *

"Get up this instant." The icy voice, filled with disapproval broke into Hermione's dreams. She had a sinking feeling even before she opened her eyes. She warily cracked one eyelid to see Snape standing over the bed. "On your feet, Miss Granger."

She hurriedly shrugged off the covers and stood up, pausing to stare wonderingly at Harry who was peacefully snoring away and blissfully unaware. "Professor Snape, it isn't what you think! I-I-I was tired and lonely so I came over here to--"

"I may be advancing in years, Miss Granger, but I know exactly what it is you came here to do."

She threw on her robe, which lay on the end of the bed. Hermione was upset he saw her in her nightgown. And upset that he saw her in bed with Harry. And just upset in general. She couldn't recall Snape ever looking this angry. "But you don't! Harry and I don't - we haven't - I mean, we won't!" Snape pulled his wand out and fixed it on Harry's sleeping form. "NO!" Hermione threw herself in the line of spell. "You can't do that!"

"Yes," Snape replied sardonically "I can." He took her by the shoulders and moved her to the side. He once more took aim. "Scaldet!" He shouted and Harry was hit with a bolt of energy, causing him to wake up with a start.

"Bloody Hell! If you damned snakes d-" Harry stopped as he saw Snape standing next to Hermione. "Oh, it's _you_."

"This is a very serious transgression, Mr. Potter," Snape announced. "In fact, you might say that this is an expelling offence." He'd been waiting for this day for quite some time. And, for once, he was Potter's Head of House so he could make the final decision on his punishment.

"What is? Sleeping?" He rubbed his shoulder where the bolt had hit him. "And that hurt! I didn't know professors were allowed to zap people." He glared at him.

"You should be ashamed of yourself, Mr. Potter. Using your celebrity status to seduce hapless young women."

Hermione made an inarticulate sound of anger at being referred to as 'hapless'.

"Hermione and I weren't sleeping together. We were actually SLEEPING together," Harry said. "Why am I always telling people this?"

Snape's mouth thinned as he took in the fully dressed students. It did make sense, come to think of it. He'd always been a rational man. Though, he probably got here just in time to preserve Miss Granger's virtue. Potter was probably as much of a bounder as his father had been. Not that he was going to let them off the hook. "Regardless, the opposite sex is not allowed in the other dormitory after midnight." His face broke into a smile. "And to help you remember that rule, twenty five points from Gryffindor." Their faces fell. "A piece." He finished triumphantly and saw them droop even more. He lived for rare moments like these.

Snarky and Snippy came sliding into the room. _"Someone got zapped already! It's not even the start of sssschool yet,"_ Snippy gloated.

"They're you two are." Snape said somewhat affectionately as he almost smiled at the snakes. "I trust you made friends with Slytherin's mascots?" He asked Hermione and Harry. He held down his arm and they obediently crawled up.

_"Ewwwww, Sssssnape,"_ They chorused again. Snippy curled around his left arm while Snarky made his way to the professor's shoulder.

_"Check it out!"_ Snarky said. _"He's trying a new hair gel. Crisco!"_

Harry put a hand to his mouth, trying to look respectful. "Don't laugh," he muttered to himself. Obviously the snakes had gotten used to no one being able to hear them, and felt more than free to express any opinion they had, no matter how mean it was.

Snippy hissed a laugh. _"It's less oily than the last one." _Snarky curled around the side of Snape's face and Snippy called out,_ "No, don't do that! Don't get too close. Dammit."_ His compatriot had started to sway from side to side. _"It's Snape breath. Just don't inhale!"_ Snarky fainted, coming to rest around Snape's neck. _"Oohh."_ The snake winced in sympathy for his friend and then stared at Harry. _"Why are you just standing there, Potter? Get the man some mouth wash!"_

Harry stifled another burst of laughter.

"Curious. They always faint when they get on my shoulder." Snape muttered. "Must be that infernal respiratory problem of theirs. They're always making this 'thee . . . thee . . . thee' sound. Could be asthma."

"Professor?" Hermione said. "Snakes, uh, don't breathe. At least not like we do. Maybe we can have Harry ask them what's wrong."

Snippy hurtled toward Hermione at a fast pace and leapt on her. "Ack!"

_"Shhhhh!"_ The snake sent a beseeching look at Harry. _"Tell Medusa here not to blow our cover! He'll chop us up and put us in a potion if he finds out what we've been saying."_

"These are magical snakes, Miss Granger. They are not the same as the ones your parents have in their garden." The professor walked over calmly went over and began removing the snake from her person. It seemed to have a death grip on the button hole of her sweater with its small tail.

Hermione wasn't sure if she was more afraid of the snake or that cool touch of his. He took great care not to frighten the snake further. He also seemed aware of her fear and made his movements slow and purposefully impersonal. "Thank you, Professor." She noted that Snape was absurdly gentle with the creature. He even stroked the snake to calm it down because the thing was quaking with fear.

Snippy struggled. _"He's got me! He's gonna breathe on me. Help! HELP!!"_ He pleaded with Harry. _"You're a hero, right? Come on, save me! SAVE ME!"_ Snape brought him up to his shoulder. The snake mumbled through a very tightly closed mouth. _"If he exhales I'm a goner."_

Harry's mouth was trembling with suppressed laughter. Of course, he didn't like the snakes. They'd eaten his chocolate frogs and stolen his watch but he wasn't going to sit by while the poor defenseless thing was subjected to Snape's Death Breath. On further study, maybe that halitosis curse he'd performed on the professor with Ron's help in their fifth year wasn't such a good idea. There was no reason to inflict his breath on the populace. "Can I see that snake, Professor?"

"Aren't you afraid it'll bite you?" He drawled, thinking he might give a few years of his life to see that.

Snippy screamed, _"Don't make him talk!"_

Harry bit his lip and looked away. "Is that snake talking to you, Mr. Potter? Can you speak with it?"

"Sorta," Harry admitted.

_"Traitor!"_ Snippy stuck out his tongue at him and gasped, before putting it back in his mouth and mumbling once more,_ "Get me out of here, Potter."_

"Well?" Snape snapped. "What did he say?"

"They're . . . uh. . . .afraid of heights. Yeah, afraid of heights."

Snape plucked the snake from his shoulder so that he could speak with it, beady eye to beady eye. "I had no idea," he said gravely.

_"I'm in the danger zone!"_ Snippy's eyes widened. _"Oh, God. He'sssss gonna put me in there, isn't he?"_ He said, staring at Snape's mouth._ "This is my punishment . . . for all that candy I've stolen and the mean things I said."_

Harry walked over. "Why don't I take him out for some fresh air?_"_

_"Goodbye, cruel world,"_ Snippy cried, eyes still fixed on the malodorous, gaping maw he was convinced he was about to be put in to. His eyes fixed on his friend. _"Goodbye, Snarky. You were the bestest pal ever." _

Professor Snape handed Snippy over and took the other snake, which had been lolling against his neck, and handed it to his student. "See that he gets some too."

Snippy nearly jumped with relief. _"Hallelujah! As God as my witness . . . I will never be close to anything that stinky again!"_ Snarky started to come to. _"It's alright, Snarky. It's all going to be alright."_ With a dramatic flourish, he ended by resting his head on Harry's wrist._ "After all, tomorrow is another day." _

Harry permitted himself a small chuckle. "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." Snape fixed him with a look and he beat a hasty retreat.

As soon as Harry left, Hermione gave in to her curiosity. "So, why were you in the dormitories? I thought that professors only used the common rooms."

Snape colored but had the presence of mind to say, "If I waited for you and Potter to arrive, they may have found my corpse there." He straightened his spine and stood to his full height. Hermione thought that now that she was seeing him out of the dampness of the dungeons, he appeared almost handsome. Intimidating but handsome.

Snape was alarmed when he didn't see them downstairs enjoying the breakfast the house elves had left. He wondered if perhaps Voldemort had been able to penetrate Hogwarts defenses and make off with Potter. It was a silly notion but he was exceptionally cautious these days. Then, he'd heard noises in Potter's room and had dashed into the room only to find them entwined with one another, which he found exceptionally loathsome. And it wasn't just seeing Potter in his pajamas either.

"I see," Hermione said. She wasn't buying it. Maybe he'd been spying on them, looking for a way to take more away House points.

"Actually, I have an agenda for both of you." He handed her two rolls of parchment. "Get dressed and have something to eat. You will meet me in the dungeon at ten." He turned on his heel and exited the room.

* * *

Hermione couldn't even enjoy her delicious breakfast. The house elves had set out a platter of still-warm donuts. There was another platter of toasted bagels and a container of thick cream cheese. There was also a teapot full of fragrant English Breakfast Tea. A large urn held coffee. But everytime she tried to take a bite, the scene would replay in her mind and she'd cringe, forgetting about the food.

Harry came in to see her listlessly nibbling the edge of a bagel. "Are you alright?" All in all, he was feeling pretty good. And he'd gotten the snakes out of his room by depositing them in one of the other rooms. He'd even managed to annoy Snape. And he hadn't even had breakfast yet! "What's wrong, Hermione?"

"Nothing." She tossed him a scroll. "That's your assignment."

"Come on, tell me. What is it?" Harry caught the parchment effortlessly.

"Professor Snape hates me."

"Well, if it's any consolation, I think he hates me more."

Hermione scowled. "Be serious. Harry, he thinks we. . ."

"Were within seconds of shagging?" Harry waggled his eyebrows at Hermione's look of abject horror. He scratched his chin thoughtfully, remembering how thrown Snape had been. "I say we play this up. Put in some sly innuendos. It'd be worth the House points just to see him lose it."

"I'd say you've lost your mind." Hermione jumped up from her seat and poured a cup of coffee in a take-away container. "I'm going to the dungeon to help him with his potions and try to repair the damage."

Harry was mystified. "Why do you care what he thinks?"

"Because. . ." She stomped out to the exit. "Because I just do!"


	3. The Blackest Magic Ever!

**TITLE:** Trading Spaces

**RATING:** R (slash warning m/m)

**PAIRING**: HG/SS, HP/DM, HP/HG (friendship)

**AUTHORS' NOTE:** For the book, picture something from Pagemaster, if you require a visual.

**Chapter Three: The Blackest Magic ... Ever!**

****

* * *

Severus Snape stood before his boiling cauldron in his beloved dungeons. It was dark, it was dank, and it was quiet. This place was his refuge despite it being filled at regular intervals with adolescents. He had taken comfort in laying out all of his ingredients for an incredibly delicate potion called the Stunning Sheen. This morning had been a first for him and he had no desire to have any repeats. He wanted to brew his potion and forget all about it.

To say that he'd been shocked to see Hermione Granger in a compromising position with Harry Potter wasn't exactly accurate. He'd always suspected that they had some sort of intimate relationship. Not that he speculated on the affairs of his students but these two stood out from the crowd. You couldn't walk down the bloody hall without someone commending Potter for picking up refuse or being kind to old witches. Severus was relieved that at least he hadn't seen anything too shocking. Who knows what type of potion he'd need to brew if he'd been unfortunate enough to glimpse any nude arms, legs, or other . . . appendages.

He was also rather disturbed by the whole encounter. Of course, he'd pulled frustrated young lovers apart before, but he had never done so in one of their bedchambers. It was too intimate for his own peace of mind. He couldn't quite get past the look on Miss Granger's face. It was somewhere between pain, anger, and fear. He shook his head as if to dispel the image.

It wasn't like he didn't have other things to worry about besides Potter's sexcapades. Severus sighed as he put his fingers on either side of his temples and rubbed. This year promised to be the most difficult of his thirty five years on this planet. He prayed that he had the strength to do what was expected of him. He was in a very precarious position. Being a double agent was a risky and potentially deadly occupation.

"You should strain that lotus oil before you add it to the cauldron."

Severus turned to glare at whoever had the audacity to question his methods of brewing potions. Instead of an impudent student or well-meaning faculty member he saw the Ravenclaw mascot, Rune. She was a stately dark-feathered eagle who was perched on the back of a student desk. "I told you to never come in here."

"But I can help you!" The bird explained. Rune had been pestering Severus for months to let her be his research and teaching assistant.

"I somehow doubt that," Snape said dryly, deliberately adding the lotus oil to the concoction in its natural state.

"I have been studying potions for five years! I've read every journal article in the library, including all those in the restricted section. And I perch outside your classroom everyday so I can hear your lectures," the bird argued rationally. "I'm so well-versed in the field; I would be an asset to you. Imagine how many journal articles we could publish!" She sighed over the prospect. "I could even net you the Dumbledore Placidity Prize."

"Yes, I'm sure that studying with a bird would do wonders for my career," Snape said sarcastically. "However, I'm afraid that this was time wasted on your part. You could have been twittering to the owls or chasing down a dove for supper."

"I'll have you know that my IQ is very high! I only speak with people, not those simple owls. Might as well be homing pigeons," Rune said as if it were an insult. "Carrying letters back and forth is the sum total of their existence! They have no vision! No perspicacity!" She declared, twitching her tail feathers for dramatic effect.

Snape misinterpreted Rune's movements. "If you leave excrement on my floor, I'll be forced to pull out your tail feathers."

"That was uncalled for! I don't comment on your bodily functions." She looked disgusted. "Or hygiene."

"Will you please just go?"

The eagle puffed up. "This is beyond the pale! I came here to offer my--"

"You came here asking for a favor . . . which I have turned down." He glared.

"Pardon me? Professor Snape?" Hermione's tentative voice called. "A favor?" She'd been listening at the door and couldn't resist joining in the conversation.

"Ah, Miss Granger. Impeccable timing." For the first time since she had stepped into his class, Snape seemed pleased to see her.

"Uh, I do?" She was a little afraid that if she accepted his kind tone as is, she would end up being impudent' or something and lose more house points, which was just embarrassing now that she was a prefect.

"Yes. Could you remove this thing from the room?" He gestured to the eagle.

"THING!" Rune screeched. "I have half a mind to leave excrement on your floor after all. You'll be lucky if you don't find droppings in all your personal cauldrons for a month!"

"You wouldn't dare!" He looked absolutely appalled. Hermione bit her lip to keep a straight face.

"I would dare! You've had this coming for a long time." She flapped her wings once for emphasis. "I am a golden eagle." She fluffed her feathers. "I have an eight foot wing span!" Rune threw out her wings, beating them powerfully and sending papers flying across Snape's desk. "I have an IQ above 150! And I deserve some respect."

"Rune," Snape said softly. Hermione had never heard his voice be like that before. It had dropped another octave, something she hadn't thought possible, and gained a cajoling tone that was sweet, coaxing, and persuasive. She shivered.

"Yes, Severus?" The eagle settled and looked at him, calm once more, seemingly enchanted by his voice and the beguiling twitch of his lips.

"I know you're an eagle. I don't think you're a thing," he told her. She looked pleased with this fact. Then looking about at the mess she had made, looked a little sheepish. She looked up at him, hoping he wouldn't be too mad. "You blew all my papers away."

"Oh, so sorry. Hate to see anyone get disorganized." She hopped down, scooping up a few next to her and then flitted to his desk to hand them to him.

"Thank you, Rune." He very gently stroked the feathers under her beak. "Now, why don't you let Hermione take you to the Ravenclaw rooms, so I can finish this?" Then with just a touch of sarcasm, "I think the two of you will get along just fine."

"Alright, Severus. But this matter is not closed. You need an assistant, and I would be perfect. Our colors even match," Rune added as she turned to face Hermione.

Hermione hesitantly held out her arm, and Rune stepped gracefully onto it. "Hello. I'm Rune. And you are?"

"Hermione Granger."

Rune looked her over disdainfully, jealous of anyone allowed in Snape's classroom. "Pleasure."

* * *

****

Draco Malfoy woke to find himself on the carpet. There were torn bits of fabric and broken pieces of wood littering the floor. He sat up and pressed a hand to his head as a dull ache settled in. Upon further inspection, his bed was destroyed and his trunks were open. The place was littered with his belongings.

Perched on the wreckage that was his bed was Griff-Gruff. "It's about time, Malfoy." He shook his head. "This place is a mess."

"I can see that," Draco said, sitting on his haunches. "What happened?"

"You don't remember? I'd hoped that he didn't cause any brain damage." Griff-Gruff sighed. "But in your case, how would we tell?"

"The last thing I remember is Dobby coming in to-" He scowled at the little animal. "Did you just call me -?"

"Let's not dwell on the past, shall we?"

"That wasn't the past - it was a second ago!"

"Good, you can still tell time. That's essential for a prefect." Griff-Gruff said. "So, it seems Dobby taught you a lesson, eh?"

"Taught me a . . . Bloody Hell! He roughed me up, and then left me on the floor all night!" He pointed to his trunk. "And he threw my clothes everywhere!"

"There, there, Malfoy. No permanent damage done. It's not like you had the secrets to curing cancer locked away in there, right?" Griff-gruff asked, indicating his head with a swish of the tail.

"Dobby did this! Why, I-I'll have him fired! No, I'll have him beat and then fired! Or maybe-"

"Are you quite finished?" Griff-Gruff cut him off. "Correct me if I'm wrong . . . and I'm never wrong . . . didn't your family own Dobby?"

"Well, yes, but-"

"Wasn't he treated very poorly?"

"Uh, yes, but-"

"Dobby is very protective of Harry. Did you or did you not take Harry's position in this House?"

"Yes, but-"

"Then, I'm right. You deserved it. Clean it up and move on with your aimless existence."

"But-"

"Stop saying 'but', the only ass here is you." He leapt off the bed and went to the door, clearly feeling that he settled the matter. Griff-Gruff paused to turn around. "By the way, Malfoy. Nice undies." He strutted out.

Feeling thoroughly disgusted, Draco pushed a pair of snake boxers back under the bed. Absently rubbing the back of his head, he began picking up his stuff, muttering to himself. "Stupid Griffins. Stupid Griffyndors. Stupid elves that make friends with stupid Gryffindor Griffins . . ."

****

* * *

Hermione sat at one of the student desks with several roots and a cutting board before her. "Make sure you julienne those," Professor Snape said. "Not slice. Not dice. Not chop. Julienne." Why did he have to be so condescending? She'd have gladly JULIENNED them if he'd asked nicely. She grudgingly agreed to and had the nerve to stick her tongue out at him when he'd turned his back. Thankfully, those rumors she'd heard as a first year weren't true. He didn't have eyes in the back of his head.

He hadn't yet attempted to hold a conversation with her for which she was grateful. Whenever she spoke with him she either sounded like an overeager child or a shrew. She was hoping that he'd forgotten about her altogether. Hermione wanted to explain herself after this morning's fiasco but she couldn't' quite think of what to say. Something along the lines of . . . by the way, not sleeping with Harry. It didn't flow well. When she did figure out what to say she was going to ask him to knock before entering as well.

"Miss Granger, quit mooning over Potter and pay attention to your work."

"I wasn't mooning over Harry," she said defensively. "I was thinking."

He stared at her. "Don't leave me in suspense, Miss Granger. Thinking about what?"

She screwed up her courage. Oooohhhh, bad choice of words. "I'm not sleeping with Harry."

"That's nice," Snape humored her. "You need to make a cleaner cut."

"Professor, I d--"

"Miss Granger, I'm really not interested in the sordid details of your romantic attachments. As long as it doesn't interfere with your duties as prefect, it is no business of mine," he said, sounding quite official and bland. He really wasn't. Severus just didn't want to see a mind like hers wasted on the fancies of youth. A handsome or pretty face was very distracting from things that really mattered in life. Miss Granger could make something of herself if she really tried.

"If I could just explain - "

He held up a hand. "I'm considering this matter closed. Really, we have more important matters to consider. School will be opening soon and Voldemort grows stronger every day. We need to put our energies into worthwhile endeavors."

She scowled. "Are you saying that a relationship with Harry isn't worth my time?"

Snape sauntered over to where she sat. "You said it, I didn't."

"How could you! Do you have any idea of the things he's done?! He might be our last hope. Why I--"

"Thank you for proving my point," Snape added a dash of speckled fly wings to keep the roots from turning brown from air exposure. "See? He's already distracted you from your task.

"Of all the--"

"Yes?" He said, every inch the imperious professor. "Is there something you wanted to say to your supervisor?"

"No, sir, I'm going to sit here and julienne these things." She gritted her teeth and began to cut the roots with a great deal of force.

Severus was amused by her audacity. "When you're done chopping 'me' into little bits, add the lot to my cauldron." He turned back to his potion.

She nearly fell off her stool. Professor Snape made a joke? And he wasn't angry!

"Yes, I have a sense of humor," he said dryly. "Don't tell your friends."

"Er, yes, sir."

****

* * *

Draco Malfoy was having a rough day. He woke up with a knot on his head, and was forced to spend the day cleaning. When he took a break to eat, while the other food on the tables seemed to be perfectly delicious, his was always a little off. His pumpkin juice had started to ferment, his roast was burned, his mashed potatoes were crunchy and when his jelly bean ice cream had arrived, it only contained vomit and booger beans. When the day was finally over, he had been looking forward to locking himself in his room, and indulging in a long hot shower in the prefect's bathroom. Not only was all the hot water mysteriously gone, but someone had taken off with his towels. He was dressed in a pair of deep green pajama pants, with snakes slithering down the sides, and a green terry cloth robe, settled into a cushy chair and ready to record the horrid day in his journal when Professor McGonagall entered the Gryffindor Common Room.

"Ah, Mr. Malfoy, there you are," she said brusquely.

"Something I can do for you, Professor?" He tried to sneer, but he was just too tired, and it came out almost pleadingly.

"Yes. The headmaster has just informed me that Mr. Potter is to make aerial rounds, and I feel it would be in the best interest of his safety if he were not to do it alone. Now I tried to see if one of the Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw prefects would accompany him, but none of them are equipped with a broom of a caliber to keep up. Neither Hermione or Pansy flies well enough, and that seems to just leave you, Mr. Malfoy."

Draco stared at her, a desperate look on his face, as if hoping that any second she would announce that she was only kidding or that he would wake up. "Aerial rounds with Potter?"

"Yes, the first one is at seven, so you had better get dressed and be on your way. Mr. Potter will meet you at the front doors in precisely ten minutes." She stared at him from over the top of her spectacles. "And please be punctual. Gryffindors are never tardy."

Draco watched her sweep out of the room, with a grandeur that only professors seemed to possess. Then, he let his head fall back against the chair. "Perfect."

"You called?" Griff-Gruff strutted and hopped up on the ottoman in front of Draco.

"What do you want?" He stood, sneer back in place, energized by pure frustration. He glared at the griffin, trying to mirror his father's most imposing and imperious look.

Griff-Gruff looked vaguely bored as he jumped to the chair recently vacated and proceeded to settle comfortably on the cushion. "On your way back, you should bring me some cream, still cold, in my dish. The elves know which one it is."

"I'm not bringing you anything!" Draco crossed his arms mutinously. "You let that destructive elf in! I know you did."

"Well, of course I did." Griff-Gruff appeared confused.

"So you admit it!" He announced triumphantly.

"Yes," he said mildly. "So, about that cream . . . I usually have my snack at about eight o'clock, so you should hurry." Griff-Gruff flashed him a smile. "I'm kind of cranky when I'm hungry."

Draco turned in a speechless huff and headed for his bedroom. He pulled on his clothes so quickly, he almost put his pants on backwards, grabbed his broom, and stalked towards the door.

"Draco?"

"Yes?" He sighed.

"While you're getting my cream, get your self a little something to eat, too. You look beat." Griff-Gruff smiled.

****

* * *

Snarky leaned around the corner. _"Coast is clear. Mr. Wizard has left the candy store. I repeat: he has left the candy store."_

_"Let's roll!"_ Snippy said, like a sergeant marching troops._ "Forward, slither!"_ Then, with a grin, _"It's candy time!"_ They slithered over to Professor Dumbledore's office.

Snarky produced their small radio and cassette player and his friend pressed the playback button with his tail. On the cassette was a montage of students naming candy types. Since they could understand but not speak English, they'd been forced to use the voices of others. Dumbledore regularly changed it to keep them out. Finally, the door came open when Crabbe said "pumpkin taffy."

_"Whoohoo!"_ Snippy said as they slid up the stairs. Inside, they found that the coast was clear. Fawkes wasn't anywhere to be seen. Normally, if he could catch them he would pick them up in his beak and deposit them in The Forbidden Forest. It was quite annoying. Especially, those damned spiders. Snarky had been forced to bite a few of them in order to get away. The spiders had threatened them, saying they had a much, much bigger family. Snippy and Snarky had responded the way they normally did. They made fun of them until they went away.

_"Oooh...chocolate cockroaches." _Snarky sighed.

_"Nummy!"_ Snippy slid into a candy dish. _"And lemon drops."_

"You're not supposed to be in here," the Sorting Hat reproved.

_"Yeah, we know,"_ Snarky said. They giggled at that.

"I'm tired of you two doing this. I'm going to--"

_"What? Bore us to death?"_ Snippy retorted. _"Oooh, I'm trembling!"_ He gave a mock shudder and turned his friend. _"Check me out! I'm all afraid. He's going to ssssscold me."_

_"Hey, maybe he'll get really mean and sort you into Hufflepuff."_

_"I'm shaking!"_

_"I would be! Have you seen their house colors?"_ He shuddered. Then he picked up a chocolate frog and tossed it to his friend.

_"I hope this one's older than the last batch he had. It was so fresh I got a tadpole!" _He began to rip at the package. _"So, Boring Hat-"_

"Sorting Hat-"

_"As if there's a difference. Did you come up with a new song yet?"_

"You two better leave or I'll--"

_"Will you shut up? I'm trying to digest."_ Snarky waved his tail threateningly.

_"Yeah, you don't want to give us indigestion. Or we'll have to find a nice hat around here to regurgitate in."_

"That's disgusting!" The hat pulled its ribbons in tight, making a face. Then, looking beyond the candy feast, out the window, it spied something that made it grin. "Fawkes! Fawkes!"

_"Oh no!"_ Snippy shouted. _"Bogey at four o'clock! Hit the deck!"_

Snarky dived off the table, abandoning his lemon drops. _"Get down! Let's move out!" _Together they slithered toward the door. _"I feel the need!"_

_"The need . . ."_

_"For speed."_ Unfortunately their constant quipping cost them valuable time, and Fawkes swooped down, scooping them each into a claw.

_"God-dammit! He's got me."_ Snippy sighed, watching the ground as they went out the window. _"Looks like we're going on an unscheduled flight."_

They were forced to go on a trip so they may as well have fun doing it. _"And we got bumped down to coach seats."_ Snarky twisted, looking Fawkes in the eye. _"Hey, Sparky! Isn't there supposed to be an in-flight movie?"_

_"Or a meal? Could we get some peanuts or something?"_ Snippy glared at the bird. _"Well, I say. Somebody could use some manners. Especially when employed in the snake transport business."_

_"Yeah, looks like we're going to the forest again."_ Snarky looked disgusted. _"I really hate this airline." _

_"No food, no movie, no recline seats . . ."_

_"Never goes anywhere you want to go . . ."_

_"Oh yeah, and no landing gear!"_ Snippy coiled in anticipation as they glided over the darkening forest. _"One . . ."_

_"Two . . ."_

_"Three!"_ They dropped_. "Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" _

Thud. . . . . . . . Thud.

_"You know what Snippy? I god damn hate this place."_ He slithered forward, making sure all of his rib bones were intact.

_"I hate these landings. The least he could do is drop us somewhere soft. It's not like we have cushy butts to land on."_ Snippy sniffed. _"At least we don't have to deal with any of those stupid little spiders. Pansies."_

_"Yeah, like having eight legs is going to impress us!"_ Snarky's laughter trailed off as his eyes suddenly widened. Snippy whirled around to see what he was looking at. There stood Aragog, a spider big enough to spin webs across a quidditch field.

Eyes wide, small figures engulfed by the monster's shadow, they began to back away. _"Oh, ssssssit!"_

****

* * *

Hermione's hand shook as she knocked on the private chambers of Professor Snape. "P-proffessor? Are you there?"

Suddenly, the door flew open. "Miss Granger. Is there something I can assist you with? Were you bored to tears without Potter around to get you into trouble?"

"Actually, I was hoping that you could help me. I was looking over the potions book for this year, and I can't find the one we're working on, so-"

"Of course not. That potion isn't in any texts a student could find," he sneered. "Do you have to research everything you do?"

Her face fell a little. "I can't help being curious, particularly about potions. There's something about the preciseness of it that appeals to me." She reddened a little, realizing she was trying to justify herself to a Slytherin. She turned to leave. "I'm sorry. I'll go now."

"One moment," he growled. Sweeping the door aside, he gestured for her to enter. He led her through a hallway to a room that was warded with three passwords. He made sure that she stood a distance away as he released the locks. She stepped forward under his arm into the room, and felt her jaw hit the floor. The entire back wall was covered with moving bookshelves. "You should find one over there with a red cover, no title, handwritten. And if you tell anyone I let you see that book, you'll lose more than House points."

Hermione hurried over to the back wall, scanning the books as one by one the shelves presented themselves for inspection. Suddenly, a door in the back, which she assumed must lead to his bedroom, burst open and a large black book came running out. On its cover in gold letters was written, "The Blackest Magic Ever! By Gilderoy Lockhart." A picture of the handsome professor, with his shoulders hunched, and his finger splayed as if playing a scary piano was leering at her. The book faced Hermione and announced, "Duh, duh Duuuh!" Then, it quaked and backed toward the room again, whispering, "ooooooooooooooo. . ." She looked questioningly at Snape.

"Ignore that one. Dumbledore gave me his autographed copy as a gag gift for my last birthday." He gave a small half smile."Well, it made me gag." Then, he scowled at the book that was still lurking in the shadows. "Keeps jumping out of my fireplace."

"Your birthday?" She asked, hoping that he would tell her what day it was. Maybe she could uncover the secrets to his mercurial moods if she knew his astrological symbol.

"Yes, Miss Granger. I wasn't hatched, no matter what the previous prefects told you." He reached over and switched a lamp on so that she could see more clearly.

"Humph. Harry owes me ten galleons," she muttered.

He shot her a sharp look, but before he could ask what she meant, the book lunged out from behind his sofa, startling him.

"I scared you, didn't I? Yeah! I'm scary! Booga-booga!" It leapt in glee and ran off again.

Snape watched as Hermione looked through his books. He could see the one that she was searching for, two shelves up above her head, but he didn't mention it. It was a rarity to find someone who treated books with the same reverence he did. Each one she removed, she held securely in one hand, while inspecting, flipping pages and gently touching the covers with the other in a cherishing caress. It was suddenly a little warmer in the room.

Suddenly, Hermione toppled over as the book reappeared and rushed her. "I'm bad! I'm evil!" It cackled, doing a merry little jig on her hair. Severus moved swiftly, grasping the book by one cover, while its picture gasped in outrage. "Unhand me you blackguard! Can't you read the cover! I'm THE Blackest Magic!" It tried to shut his fingers in the book. "Ever!"

Severus walked to the side of the room and opened the window. He turned the book over so that it got a view of the fall in store for it. He stared at the picture of Lockhart who looked less pleased than he had before. "Booga. Booga." He said deadpan and flung the book out the window.

There was high-pitched girlish screaming all the way down. Then there was a large thud, followed by, "I'm Alive! Yes! Who's the baddest book? Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"Dammit," Snape said succinctly.

Hermione was staring at him from her position on the floor, wide-eyed and mouth agape. He strode over to her and offered her a hand up. Then, reaching over her head, grasped the book she needed and shoved it at her. "There you are. Be on your way, then. And don't stay up too late reading. I expect you to be up bright and early tomorrow to continue that potion."

"Yes, sir." She walked quickly to the door, clutching the book close to her. "Uh, Professor Snape?"

"Yes, Miss Granger?" He sighed.

"Thank you."

****

* * *

Draco halted about halfway down the last staircase, having spotted Harry Potter standing at the bottom of it, an expression of pleasant dreaminess spread across his tan face. Harry supported himself against the wall with his right hand, while his left hand clutched his Firebolt. As Draco watched, Harry ran a hand through his black hair, rumpling it in a care-free sort of way, and turned his back fully to Draco, leaning against the staircase banister instead of the wall for a moment, and stretching languidly. Never one to resist an impulse, Draco silently descended the rest of the stairs, stopping a moment behind Harry. Leaning forward he whispered, "Daydreaming, Potter?"

Harry gave a jump and spun about. "Malfoy."

"In the flesh." He smirked, sketching a mocking bow. Cupping his hands over the tip of his broom, he leaned forward and rested his chin on his hands, regarding Harry lazily. "How's Slytherin House treating you, Potter?"

"Fine," Harry replied evenly. He was about to ask him how he liked being a Gryffindor, when he finally took a good look at the boy. "What happened to you? You look like-"

"I know what I look like Potter," Draco interrupted him. "Let's get this over with shall we?" And in his trademark Quidditch move, he leaned on his almost vertical broom and it swooshed softly into the air. He turned to arch a brow at Harry, and then continued out the door and into the cool night. The Boy-Who-Lived followed him a second later, and together they began to circle Hogwarts, high enough to be above human reach, but low enough to scan the hedges and shadows that clung to the castle's side.

"Can't believe they picked you, of all people, to keep me safe," Harry muttered as he moved into position beside him.

"I rather thought they were just trying to keep an eye on me," Draco said in an off-hand matter. "Not a lot of trust in Malfoys anymore. Least, not on this side of the fight."

Harry was slightly taken aback by the sincerity in Draco's bored tone. "That doesn't bother you?"

"No more than people asking to see your scar," Draco replied.

"Truthfully, that usually annoys the bloody hell out of me. I've even had it used as a pick-up line. Must be the Wizarding equivalent to 'can I see your tattoo?'" Harry gave a short laugh. Draco didn't even crack a smile, to Harry's exasperation. He'd been trying to make the best of an uncomfortable situation for both of them. "I know you have a reputation to protect Malfoy, but you could pretend to have a sense of humor."

"I have one actually. It usually waits for funny things before making itself known." Draco glared at him and then moved his broom back further. This day was just getting more and more bizarre. "Are you trying to hit on me, Potter?"

"Hit you? Yes. Hit on you? You wish." Harry was dying to ask him about the 'sex god' comments he'd been hearing but decided against it because it would confirm Draco's suspicions. Which were completely unfounded. Completely.

Draco gave a disgusted sigh. "Are you going to keep trying to make polite conversation, or is there a chance of remaining 'inane babble free' this evening? Because I just want to get this over with, head to the kitchens and then to bed - alone, Potter - and forget this whole day."

"Griff-Gruff giving you a rough time?" Harry asked, a trace of a smirk on his own lips.

"Did Snippy and Snarky eat all your chocolate frogs already?" Draco replied as if he could have been saying, "Does Dumbledore have a sweet tooth?"

Harry couldn't prevent a chuckle as he thought about the two serpents gagging around Snape. It had perked his whole day up. He turned his attention back to flying. Despite the fact that Draco was annoying him and he had been moved into Slytherin House, today was still a good day. He loved Hogwarts more than anything; it was his only real home. And even though Snape had meant it as punishment, Harry loved the chance to fly at night. Turning his attention back to his nemesis, he added, "Well, it's to be expected. Griff hates snobs almost as much as he hates liars."

"I see. And you think I'm both of those, do you, Potter?" Draco snapped, irritably. From Harry's shocked expression, he had simply been teasing him, but the subject of Draco's character had been bandied about a bit too often lately for the blond's taste. Draco found himself becoming increasingly sensitive to what people called him. "Why don't you just come out and say the rest of it?"

"Rest of what, Malfoy?"

"What you're thinking." Malfoy spun his broom ahead of Harry, coming to an abrupt stop. The dark haired boy had to pull up quickly and almost smashed into the blond. "You might as well be the first to say what they are all thinking."

"That you're a rank, self-important, little ferret?" Harry glared at him.

"Oh, so naive Potter." He moved a fraction closer. "Do you really want to piss me off? You thought my father had power before, trust me -- that was nothing."

"Are you threatening me, Malfoy?" Harry asked dangerously, moving so close, that Harry could not have turned his broom to the side to get away, and he's be damned if he was the first to back up.

"You'll know when I'm threatening you, Potter." Draco's eyes turned steely silver, colder than a winter's breath.

"You want to duel, Malfoy?" Harry's eyes gleamed in the starlight.

"Do you think you could take me, Potter?" Draco challenged.

"Any day." Harry went to reach for his wand, when a strange sound distracted him. "Do you hear that?"

Draco stared at him for a moment before swallowing, the intensity of the exchange had taken him by surprise. He hadn't realized how fast his heart was beating until Harry had abruptly changed the subject. "Likely story. You could just admit you're afraid. I won't make fun of you anymore than I usually do."

"Shhhhh." Without thinking, Harry placed a finger over Draco's lips to hush him, idly noting the satin feel of the Slytherin's lips. He cocked his ear to the side. "Will you shut up for one minute!"

It had to be one of the weirdest moments he had ever experienced, hovering on a broom at dusk, inches from his nemesis with his hand at his mouth, watching Harry Potter listen to something that only he could hear. But as Draco listened he could sort of hear it. A strange hissing sound coming from the woods. Half a second later, Harry shot past him, speeding towards the imposing forest, nearly knocking Draco from his broom. Out of sheer irritation, Draco followed him, thinking to himself, "This better not be an excuse to get me alone in the woods, Potter!"

****

* * *

The giant spider loomed over them, speaking in a scratchy but dignified voice. "Hagrid? Is that you?"

_"That depends. Are you angry with Hagrid?"_ Snarky asked, still looking overwhelmed.

"I owe my life to Hagrid." They both noted that all of its eyes were cloudy. Obviously, it couldn't see because it had mistaken them for Hagrid.

_"Yes."_ Snippy tried desperately to deepen his voice. _"I would be Rubeus Hagrid. Gamekeeper, key holder and teacher at Hogwarts. Big fellow. Not as much candy as you'd think."_ Snippy looked at the blind spider. _"Not as big as you o'course. But then, who is?"_

"You are not Hagrid," it announced in a rasp. "Who are you?"

_"Professor Dumbledore!" _Snarky declared. _"Powerful wizard, feared by He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Joked-About-Even-By-Snakes, good candy, badly in need of a barber."_

"That sounds like parseltongue to me." Aragog resettled his legs in a way that made the snakes feel like squirming.

_"He lear- I - I learned it! I took a summer course."_ Snippy glanced at Snarky and they started to retreat once more, only to find themselves blocked in by arachnids on all sides. _"You know what? I lied! I am Voldemort! The only parseltongue in the area! Fear me!"_

_"Bow down to the evil one!"_

"Who are you?"

_"Ignore him. That's just my toadie."_ Snippy tried to sound threatening. _"Now, you better move or I'll leave scars on all your children!"_

Snarky sneered, _"Yeah, it'll look like a sideways Zorro came through here!"_

"So you're not the two snakes that bit some of my descendants, then?" Its fangs clicked together, as two spider crawled over his back to whisper to him. "You're not the Slytherin mascots that have been making fun of spiders since we graciously let you leave before?"

Snippy and Snarky looked at each other for a moment, listening to the ire rising in its voice and replied in unison, _"No. No, not at all. Wasn't us. Nope."_

"Don't think you'll be so fortunate this time."

They tried a different tactic. _"Did you know that we're descended from Basilisks? You know what one of those is, don't you?"_ Snarky asked.

_"Great big, frigging snake!"_ Snippy informed them.

_"Let's just say Mum won't be happy if we don't come back."_ Snarky smiled. _"Know what'll happen then?"_

_"Spider stir-fry, baby!"_

"I'm bored with these two." Aragog lumbered away. "Eat them."

The other spiders began to advance. Snippy and Snarky tried to swerve away, but soon became entwined in sticky webbing.

_"Be brave, Snippy!"_

_"You too, Snarky!"_

Standing as straight as possible, they took one last look at each other and did the only thing they could do. _"HARRY! HARRRYYY! HAAAARRRRYYYYYYYYY! !"_


	4. Hero

**TITLE**: Trading Spaces

**RATING:** R (slash warning m/m)

**PAIRING:** HG/SS, HP/DM, HP/HG (friendship)

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Badgers shoot a sticky green substance from their bottom when they are startled or angry. It has been said to asphyxiate small dogs. They also mark their territory in this way.

**Chapter Four: Hero**

****

* * *

Harry sped through the darkened trees, thrilling in the whoosh of air every time he nearly sideswiped a large oak. After a moment, his seeker senses told him something was coming up fast behind him.

"You gotta death wish, Potter? Watch out for the trees!"

"What's a matter, Malfoy? Trouble keeping up?"

"With your stupidity? Yeah, that's one arena where you've got me beat!" Despite the calm sarcasm of his reply, Draco could feel the anger burning beneath his skin, and he pushed his broom further, until he was parallel with Potter, dodging left around trees that Harry dodged right. "Where the hell are we going?"

"I don't know!" Harry called out, a twinge of laughter in the response. "That way!"

Draco gripped his broom. He didn't think that he'd ever understand Potter. What kind of lunatic went racing off into the dark forest for no particular reason, at breakneck speed with no destination? Maybe the same kind that followed lunatics into the very same forest, he though ruefully. Well, might as well make this interesting. "Race you there!"

"Where?" Harry did laugh this time, the exhilaration of the speed spreading through him. His laughter rolled over Draco like thunder over a summer sunset.

"I don't know!" Draco called back, feeling a grin cross his lips. "Where ever we're headed. Unless you can't handle the competition!"

"You're on Malfoy!" Harry leaned down into his broom, urging more speed from it, his carefree grin replaced by a solemn determination and confidence. They began to zoom through the darkness, narrowly ducking branches and avoiding trunks. Harry fought the urge to cry out in sheer joy as his heart pounded inside his chest. Soon, there was an opening wide enough to allow them to fly side-by-side. Draco shoulder-checked Harry, nearly sending him into a pine tree, and Harry obligingly returned the favor.

Harry concentrated on the ground in front of him, trying to coax every last bit of speed out of the Firebolt. So he didn't see the gnarled oak directly in front of him, but Draco did. As they continued on, he was about to swerve to the left, when he realized that Harry wasn't paying attention. "Potter!"

It was clear that he hadn't heard him. Draco spat an expletive into the night air and pushed his broom closer to Harry's, coming up directly beside him. He clung to his broom with his legs, and using a combination of balance and strength, he wrapped an arm around Harry's chest and hauled the stunned boy off his broom and onto Draco's, causing it to roll, then he turned sharply enough to nearly throw them both off, pulling Harry closer as he did so to keep him on the broom.

"What the hell--"

"Shut up, Potter. I just saved your sorry arse," he spoke fiercely, his voice a scant inch from Harry's ear. He lifted the hand on Harry's chest and took hold of his chin, turning Harry's head so he could see the large tree he had almost plummeted into headfirst. Harry gasped and Draco snarled, "Now hold on!"

Harry tried to think of a witty comeback, but his mind was too busy trying to wrap around the fact that Malfoy had just saved his life. In the meantime, Draco backtracked to the wider area and pulled the broom to a stop. Draco pushed Harry off the broom, almost knocking him onto ground, and gracefully dismounted. He stood, legs spread, arms crossed and glared at Harry. "What were you doing?"

"Letting a tree succeed where the Dark Lord couldn't?" He replied cheekily, quickly checking himself over. He called over his shoulder, "Nice reflexes."

"You weren't even paying attention to where you were going," Draco pointed out, sounding exasperated beyond his last nerve. He barely registered that Harry had paid him a compliment.

"What do you care?" He snapped. "I would have thought you'd be glad to be rid of me!"

"Oh yes. I go out for a night patrol with you in the dark woods and come back with a corpse, and I might as well have 'death-eater-in-training' tattooed on my forehead," Draco snarled back. Turning to the side, he took a few deep breaths. Harry noticed the muscle working in Draco's jaw, as the blond tried to calm himself. Adrenaline was still surging through Harry's body, and a twinge of something else. Something like fear, but not quite.

"And here I thought you just didn't want to lose the race to me." Harry replied wryly, in an attempt to break the tension. Suddenly, he remembered why they were in the woods in the first place. Looking next to the tree, he could see his broom hovering, seeming a little lost without him. He walked over to it, showing his palm face up. "Accio Firebolt!" It flew into his waiting hands with bruising force. Mounting, he turned to Malfoy, "Shall we?"

"Shall we, what?" Draco looked beyond irritated. "I don't know what you're up to, Potter, but I'm tired of playing in the woods. Why don't you tell me what's going on?"

"I'm not sure," Harry replied honestly. "But I can hear them again."

"The voices in your head?"

"Snakes." He began to circle above Malfoy's head. "I don't think I've ever heard a snake shout before."

"Snakes?" Then Draco remembered. Harry was a parseltongue. He had the sudden urge to ask him to say something in snake-language, but said instead, "That's just creepy, Potter."

Harry's head perked up again and he groaned, "Oh no! Not those two!" Malfoy quirked an eyebrow at him, and he replied, "It's Snippy and Snarky. From the sound of things, they're about to be spider food."

Malfoy jumped on his broom and was in the air in a split second, and though his face was calm, a trace of worry by his eyes betrayed him. "Which way, Potter?" In response, Harry started forward, Malfoy directly behind them. "Let's fly above the tree line this time."

Harry looked forward into the labyrinth of trees, and became aware of a sense of disappointment. He had been looking forward to racing through them again. He gave himself a mental kick. He had almost died, and all he could think about it was racing Malfoy? The Snakes voices reached him again and he sped upward over the tree line, telling himself he would think about this later, before he went to bed.

****

* * *

The snakes were in serious trouble. They'd never gotten themselves in this big of a predicament despite all of their nefarious plotting. Snarky and Snippy were pressed back to back; both were coated in a thick covering of webbing. It was almost like being covered in melted marshmallows, it was so thick. They were blinded and immobilized but still able to hear the muffled snapping of the hungry spiders' jaws. There was currently a fight going on among the monsters as to which one would get to eat them. There wasn't enough to go around because they were barely an appetizer for a large arachnid appetite.

Snarky narrowed his eyes into smaller slits. _"We're not going down like this, like . . . like shivering ssssocks,"_ he said, referring to their new 'overcoats'.

_"Yeah!"_ Snippy agreed. _"We don't put up with this kind of stuff. We're mean-"_

_"Nasty!"_

Snap! Snap! Snap!

_"And we're gonna be gobbled down like chocolate frogs!"_ Snarky said, quaking.

_"Pull it together, snake!"_ Snippy ordered.

_"Right. Right. No sense in blubbering. That'll only make us taste better." _He straightened his body as well as he could while covered in webbing. _"We're Slytherins!"_

_"You bet your sssscales!"_ Snippy said, sounding like a Wild West sheriff. _"We're gonna get through this and then we're gonna annihilate these over-grown bugs!"_ He puffed himself up.

_"They're ain't room around Hogwarts for the two of us and the eight million of them."_ Snippy decided.

_"Damn straight!" _Snarky added, then he drooped as reality settle in. A vast army of evil hungry bugs versus two itty bitty snakes. The odds weren't good. _"Okay, I'm done being brave. Were the hell is Harry? We need some serious saving."_

Snippy knew they needed help too. _"If he doesn't get here in time, we are sssso haunting him. . ."_

_"Yeah, chains and everything!"_ Snippy agreed.

_"He's coming! I know he is. We were ssssscreaming our heads off! I bet Voldemort even heard us."_

_"And that's comforting, how exactly ...?" _

Above them, they heard the swishing of two brooms, fast approaching them. _"Harry!"_

_"What the hell took you so long?"_

****

* * *

Hermione Granger peered into the mirror which was situated over the ornate sink in the prefect's bathroom. She gave a wide smile, admiring her now average size teeth. It had been such a relief to have them shrunk by the school nurse. Every once in a while she felt compelled to check on them just in case they started to grow by themselves.

She'd been self-conscious about her teeth as long as she could remember. Hermione used to come home crying because she'd been the butt of yet another joke. Having a bad set of teeth was minor in the scheme of things but that didn't make it any less painful. Oddly enough, she had that in common with Professor Snape.

Scary.

Still, she was driven to work on his . . . dental challenge. She couldn't work with him this closely and not feel empathy for him. Plus, it would make her time in the potions lab more bearable. Frankly, they were also in close quarters and her nose was easily offended. So, Hermione's motives weren't purely altruistic but she would still be doing a service for him and the community as a whole. Bad breath was a menace to society and . . . . snakes, if Harry could be believed.

Hermione knew that Harry and Ron had cast a spell on him and she'd work on that first. There was a naturally occurring teeth problem as well. Perhaps, she'd bring in her mother and father on the other tooth problem. They were dentists, after all. Of course, Harry and Ron cast the spell without consulting her first or she would have stopped them. Therefore, it would be difficult to find an appropriate counter-spell but she had faith in her abilities. And Snape did too whether he wanted to admit it or not.

She picked up a bottle of spray-in conditioner and liberally applied it to her damp hair. She sometimes hated treating her hair with all of these chemicals - extra conditioners, a relaxer, a shine-booster, and a de-tangler. Not to mention a large amount of "weaponry" ranging from blow-dryers to straightening irons. The things women put themselves through! Hermione sometimes missed the wild, free-flowing hair she used to have. It seemed more, well, her at times. But she knew that her straight, sleek hairdo was more in fashion. Hmmm. Snape also has a hair problem. Two things in common with Snape.

Scarier.

Hermione rolled her eyes. She had Snape on the brain for some reason. Her potions professor was quite the mystery and Hermione had always loved to solve them. She knew she'd figure him out sooner or later. She put her supplies into a small carrier, ordered the lights to go dim, and then exited the room. She walked down the hall opened her dorm room, expecting to find Crookshanks curled up on the coverlet. Instead, she found Snape standing by her bedside table, her magically locked journal in one hand, and a locket Ron had given her for her sixteenth birthday in the other. Inside the locket were pictures of Ron and Harry. When Snape saw her, his head snapped up and he looked very angry . . . his usual expression, in other words.

"Professor!" She squeaked, hastily fastening her robe. Ack! Snape had seen her in her oldest, grungiest and, consequently, most comfortable pajamas. They were a little shabby and covered in pink 'Hello Kitty's'. She almost never wore them around school but she figured it would be safe because all the other students were still on vacation. Unbelievable. In her nightclothes in front of Snape. Again.

"Miss Granger, did you and Potter have a good time?" He bit out, tossing her journal on her bed haphazardly.

She had no idea what he was talking about. "Yes, I did . . . with Harry," she said, trying to sound vague. Besides, it was true enough. She always did have a good time with Harry. "W-why do you ask?" Hermione was striving to appear nonchalant and dignified.

"Ten points from Gryffindor for your cheek," he snapped.

"What? Sir, I-"

"Why would you leave school grounds in the middle of the night?! What possessed the two of you? Did you to get the urge to have a moonlight stroll through The Dark Forest? Or maybe you wanted to get better acquainted with the creatures that do more than bump you in the night. And I'm not talking about Potter," he said caustically.

"Or maybe I have no idea what you are talking about." Hermione folded her arms over her chest. He was also accusing her of doing something unseemly with Harry. Again. "I've been in the bathroom, taking a shower." She pointed to her wet hair. She was furious now and heedless of the House point total. "By the way, do you normally visit the bedrooms of female students?"

"Of course not!" Severus answered, actually turning a little red around the ears. "And I'll be the one asking the questions here." But he stopped speaking and looked very uncomfortable.

Severus had received a message from Filch that two students had left school grounds on fast moving broomsticks and that they were headed into the forest. He'd naturally assumed that it would be Potter and Miss Granger. He thought that the two of them had taken a detour after his aerial patrol. Infuriated that they would pull a stunt like this after the previous morning, he had marched right up into the prefect wing without a thought to propriety to see for himself that they were both missing, and wait smugly for their return.

She put her hands on her hips. "Well, I'm waiting, Professor."

"I was informed that two students had headed into the forest on brooms-"

"Which would make me an automatic suspect. After all I'm an expert flyer. Best in my class, actually," she said scathingly. It was well known that she was barely competent with a broom.

He gave her a sharp look, but did not comment on her sarcasm. He made very sure to only meet her eyes, lest his gaze settle anywhere inappropriate. Severus swallowed and decided to take the offensive back. "Of course, I suspected you; this wouldn't be the first time that Potter decided to take an unscheduled field trip to the forest," he explained. "And after yesterday morning, who else would I assume he had taken with him?"

"Trust me, if Harry's off for a late night liaison, it wouldn't be with me." She smirked, and then added under her breath. "I'm really not his type."

Snape wasn't sure what to make of the last comment or the strange expression on her face. He was definitely missing something here. "I suppose I was a little hasty," he conceded. She certainly didn't appear to have just been racing through the forest. "So, Miss Granger, who do you think he's out there with?"

"Malfoy," she returned smugly.

"I really don't-" What exactly was she implying? He considered the rumors he had heard about the blond Slytherin.

"Not for a- I mean, I think they might be racing, or showing off." She frowned. Maybe she should come up with a legitimate reason for Harry to leave school grounds. "Or they saw something during the patrol."

"I suppose that's possible."

"So, I was right." She smiled tightly.

"It appears so." Severus had a thin white line around his mouth. "Then, you owe me some House points and an apology."

She couldn't miss the spark of grudging admiration in his eyes, as he said, "Fine, I apologize for judging you by your past behavior."

It was a backhanded apology and she knew it. But she could live with that. He'd acknowledged that he was wrong and that was enough. "I forgive you."

Severus smirked at her. "I'll give you 25 points for expressing your opinion as well. Just be judicious in its use."

"Thank you, I will." She couldn't help returning his smirk.

"Why don't you get dressed? I require your assistance in locating Mr. Potter."

"I'd be happy to assist you anytime." She raised an eyebrow. "However, I would prefer you not ask for that assistance in my bedroom anymore."

Now, that her temper had cooled, she was worried about Harry. He certainly seemed to make a habit of roaming around that forest. She snatched up the clothes she'd planned to wear tomorrow which were jeans and a t-shirt. She was wearing her Muggle attire underneath her Wizarding robes until her new Slytherin uniforms were ready. Her professor continued to stand there, looking at the ceiling. "Ahem." She cleared her throat. "I need to get dressed."

"Oh, yes, so sorry," he said, sounding like the deceptively nervous Professor Quirrell for a moment. He toyed nervously with the locket that he still held, unconsciously fastening and unfastening it.

"Do you think you could put my locket down?" She asked with an impish smile. "Although, if you're really attached to it, I can get you one."

He looked down, astounded to see the small heart-shaped object still in his hands. He put it down quickly as though it might burn him. He shot her a half-smile. "Wouldn't match my shoes, anyway."

She tried not to laugh as she remembered his comment not to tell her friends that he had a sense of humor. Severus turned to go but then stopped at the last moment. He brought his wand from his side and said. "Apparelez!"

"Woah!" Before she knew what was happening, her clothes had somehow jumped onto her body and her pajamas were lying folded on the bed. She turned her amazed eyes up to his. "How did you . . . can you show me . . . cool."

"That's better. Let's go retrieve your little boyfriend, then." His pride in order once more, Snape turned on his heel and swept out of her room majestically.

"He's not my boyfriend!" She hurried after him.

****

* * *

"Bloody bloody, hell, hell!" Malfoy exclaimed as they hovered above the large pit of spiders which surrounded two tiny sock-like objects that were obviously Snippy and Snarky. Harry stared at him. "What? One didn't quite cover it."

"They haven't sensed us yet."

"Good. So, we can turn back around and fly home," Malfoy said, aiming his broom for Hogwarts. Harry continued to stare. "I'm going to get help, nitwit." He thought a moment. "And some heavy objects to crush them with."

"You're just going to fly off and leave them here?" Harry asked, incredulous.

"Gee, let me think." He put his hand to his chin in the style of 'The Thinker' statue. "Hmmm, no, I don't want to die in the spider pit with a couple of candy thieves."

"But they're your House mascots!" Harry exclaimed.

"Hence, the help." He gave a malicious smile. "But if Griff-Gruff keeps annoying me, he might find himself in the mix."

"Unbelievable." Harry shook his head. "Well, I'm going after them!"

"Of course you are, Potter. But then, you never could pass up the chance to play the hero, could you?"

"What would you know about being a hero, Malfoy?" With that, Harry aimed his broom at the forest floor and took off. The hungry spiders got scent of more prey and clacked their jaws together in anticipation.

Draco hovered there, chewing on his lower lip. He had no desire to tangle with the spiders but he couldn't let Harry get into the middle of that mess alone. He'd be eaten and Malfoy would get the blame. "Bugger," he said tightly as he took off to help Harry. He joined his fellow Seeker who was floating just out of reach of the big bugs. "So, you got a plan?"

"Yes, one of us distracts them and the other one rescues the snakes."

"Let me guess, you're going to distract them, aren't you, hero?"

"Of course." Harry agreed. Then, he raked his eyes disdainfully over the other young man. "Not all of us are hero material, Malfoy." Harry flew low, inviting the spiders to attack him while Malfoy flew to the snakes.

Draco bit back an expletive as he reached them. There was a medium size bug guarding them. "Expelliarmous!" He yelled and the creature flew back four feet. He swooped in and grabbed the snakes up. They were making muffled noises of joy. The spider launched itself at him and Malfoy quickly rushed back into the air with the spider on his back, lest more of them hop on.

Meanwhile, Harry was narrowly evading large legs and webs which were being shot at him. And it was . . . fun. He was having the time of his life. Moments like these made him feel truly alive. Whole. As he saw Draco snatch the snakes, he took off after them.

"Get off me!" Malfoy yelled, trying to dislodge the spider. It caused the broom to spin wildly. The snakes were nestled inside Malfoys cloak and were getting seasick from the continuous upside loops they were doing. The spider sunk its fangs into the back of his cloak. The snakes made angry noises.

"Expelliarmus!" Harry yelled and the spider went plummeting to the ground. He caught up with Draco who looked furious.

If Potter was expecting gratitude, he was doomed to disappointment "I'll be sending you the mending bill."

"What's wrong? Difficult to be a sex god-" He broke off and turned a marinara-red as his brain caught up with his mouth. "When you're clothes are ripped."

Draco scowled at him. "I don't know what the hell you are talking about but I'm not sleeping you with you just because you saved me." He shook his head and took off for the castle.

"Hey, Malfoy, wait until you're asked first!" Harry yelled, speeding after him.

He heard the snakes' voices which were carried on the wind._ "We need comfort food! Did you bring us some candy, Harry?"_

****

* * *

Severus and Hermione were waiting for them when they glided onto school grounds. The professor held a large torch aloft, it made his hair look as if it had bright streaks of red in it. Harry thought he resembled a demon.

Malfoy was the first to land. "Professor," he said, by way of greeting.

"And just where have you two been?" Snape drawled, his voice dripping with loathing.

"Rescuing Snippy and Snarky," Draco said, tossing the snakes on the ground. He turned to his robe with a disgusted sigh and started picking bits of webbing from it.

"How nice. They're gift wrappedm" Severus said dryly. He reached down and pulled the webbing free. Snippy and Snarky blinked as they're eyes adjusted to the meager light of the torches. "That still doesn't explain why the two of you left school grounds without express permission from me or one of the other teachers."

"They were calling out to me and there wasn't time to have a consultation," Harry defended himself. "They were about to be eaten!"

The snakes hissed at Snape's feet.

_"Hey, Death Breath, what's the deal? Aren't you glad we're back?" _Snarky asked.

_"You should be! What would Slytherin be without us?"_ Snippy chimed in, hissing at his boot heels.

Harry had an amused expression on his face, one he didn't bother to disguise from his professor. "What did they say?" Snape demanded.

"They said you're a-"

Hermione interrupted. "Does that really matter right now? Everyone is safe as houses."

_"Who asked you, Hiney?"_ Snarky snarled. _"Somebody's gonna get bit. Get out the venom kit."_

_"Yeah, I'm itchin' for a bite!"_ Snippy yelled.

"Are we about done here? I have webs in unmentionable places," Draco said with a distracted air.

Everyone ignored him.

_"Come on! Bring it on, Death Breath!"_ Then, Snarky backed up. _"The fight . . . not the breath. Because, that's just wrong."_

Snippy coiled up. _"Yeah, what's up, Smelly? Huh?! WHAT'S UP??" _He struck at Snape's pant leg.

"Save it for the spiders, guys," Harry said in parseltongue. Draco's eyes fixed on Harry, and to Harry's consternation, Draco shivered a little.

"Mr. Potter!" Snape said, affronted. "Did you just order that reptile to bite me?"

_"Bite you?!"_ Snarky yelled. _"I don't think so. I mean if your breath's smells like a vomit jellybean without the sugary goodness. What would your sssskin taste like?"_

Snippy shook his head. _"Bite you?!"_ He hopped up on Snape's boot. _"Bite me!"_ He sputtered. _"That's right! You heard me even though you don't understand me. Bite me, you!"_

Into the middle of arguing wizards and snakes, strolled the Hufflepuff badger, Hazelheart. He ambled to the center of their circle very slowly. He craned his neck up so that he could see everyone's faces and nearly fell over. "Woaaaaah. . .what's going on?"

Draco stared down at the fluffy brown badger. "Perfect. This night couldn't get much worse. I suppose you're here to deposit something sticky and green on my shoe?"

"Dude . . . sorry about that. It wasn't on purpose. It only happens, like, when I'm freakin'. Besides, it was, like, three years ago." Hazelheart pondered a profound thought for a moment. "You shouldn't be, like, so caught up in material possessions because it gets in the way of the magic, man." He stepped closer. "You know, you're energy . . . your chi."

"Mmm." Draco said in a non-committal way. "My magic enjoys expensive footwear. Those shoes were one of a kind dragon-hide." He stepped back. "And keep your distance from the loafers."

_"Haze, how ya doin', buddy?"_ Snarky said with sudden interest. _"Ssssay, you're not feelin', I don't know, angry, are you?"_

_"Or jumpy?" _Snippy slipped behind him. _"Boo!"_

The badger shook his head. "Dude, you move soooooooo fast." He sat down. "Do you have anymore of those bodacious chocolate frogs?"

The snake shook his head. _"No, does that make you mad? Cuz, we could take a little walk in the woods, find a deserving spider or two and - "_

"Hazelheart," Snape said wearily. Why couldn't The Founders choose a more worthy animal? "What are you doing here?"

"Don't you think we should all call it a night?" Hermione asked.

"Miss Granger, I do believe that I am still the professor here, am I not?"

"Yes," Hermione said with only a slight eye roll.

"Very well, then. We all shall retire to our quarters." He looked meaningfully at Potter. "Alone." He pointed to the snakes. "You two have detention with me. I've no doubt that Fawkes dumped you out there once more for pilfering Professor Dumbledore's candy. You two," He said to Draco and Harry, "will lose 25 points each and will have aerial patrols together from now on." Harry and Draco groaned. "Shall I make it 50 points each?"

"No, sir," they grumbled together.

"Fine. Be up early tomorrow, I feel a rule quiz coming on," Snape said.

"What about me?" Hazelheart asked.

"You can. . ." Snape broke off with a sneer. "Go to the kitchen. I'm sure you're hungry. Or, perhaps, you could hug a few trees." Snape turned on his heel. "Goodnight."

"That was so wrong." Hazelheart shook his head.

"Thanks a lot, Potter," Draco snapped, turning and walking out of the area like a mini-Snape.

Hermione was looking very pleased with herself. "So, what happened?"

"I saved the snakes," Harry muttered to himself. "Fat lot of good it did me." He looked down at the two snakes were huddled together on the grass. Despite everything, they tugged at his heart a little. "Do you guys need anything?"

Snippy leaped into his arms. _"Hold me!"_

****

* * *

Harry wearily lay down. The snakes were in the next room feasting on an assortment of chocolate treats he'd gotten from the kitchen. Another day at Hogwarts had ended and he was left all alone without distractions. Harry always tried to distract himself . . . with friends, quidditch, and, of course, daydreaming. He'd mastered that last art while being secreted away in the Dursley's horrible little cupboard. But, his thoughts were drifting to much more serious matters.

Dangerous things always held an attraction for Harry Potter. Snakes. Talking to them yielded shivers of distrust and risk. Voldemort. It wasn't that he hadn't grown up fearing the name that allowed him to say it without pause, as most people thought. It was the temporary chill that shot through him as he spoke the forbidden. Flying. Wood said Harry flew as if he knew no fear, performing near impossible dives with death-defying speed. Wood was wrong. Harry knew fear. It raced alongside him, breathing tenderly in his ear and touching icy fingertips to every vertebra in his spine. He loved it. And it was this love that fueled his need to tangle with things that weren't quite safe- like Draco Malfoy.

Harry would never admit it to Hermione or Ron, but if he had wanted to, he could have avoided Malfoy altogether in the past. Mostly, he did. But sometimes, when life was going too smoothly, when he hadn't been flying, when there was nothing to sharply highlight how different this life was from his life with the Dursley's, when Harry felt too safe, restlessness would overtake him. And then, he would seek Malfoy out, deliberately provoke him or put himself in the way, daring him Malfoy to take him on, secretly hoping for another chance to duel. He loved the cold fury sparkling in his chilled eyes, the way malice lurked in the sneer of the Slytherin's mouth, the rawness of his chest heaving in exhaustion, the challenge of his stance. Harry hated Malfoy, he really did. But he really loved to play with him.

Harry turned over and clutched the covers more tightly to his body. He pictured Malfoy when he had first met him. Two inches shorter than Harry, pale blond hair slicked back around a sneering little face. Quite a few changes had taken place since then. By third year, he had gotten taller than Harry. Fourth year he stopped greasing his hair and started to let it grow. Fifth and sixth year had seen an even greater change. Now Malfoy stood as tall as his father, with a shade of Lucius' slim build. Five years as Slytherin's seeker had added sleek muscles to his lean frame. His hair brushed past his shoulders as if reaching for his collarbones. During quidditch he pulled it back in a tight pony-tail but mostly he left it loose to sweep about his face. A face that had stretched to reveal cut cheekbones, wide set eyes and a fuller mouth.

Hedwig rustled in her cage and he hastened across the room to let her out. She let out a hoot of recognition when he took her on his arm. He stroked her snowy feathers and pushed all thoughts of Malfoy from his mind.


	5. I'm Evil

**TITLE:** Trading Spaces 5

**RATING:** R (slash warning m/m)

**PAIRING:** HG/SS, HP/DM, HP/HG (friendship)

**Chapter Five: I'm Evil.**

****

* * *

Griff-Gruff raised baleful eyes to Draco Malfoy's form. The ex-Slytherin had a look of absolute disgust as he draped himself in red and gold. His new Gryffindor uniforms had arrived and he was now required to wear them. The small griffin buried himself down deeper in Draco's down pillow and said with a sardonic grin, "That outfit makes you look fat."

"What do you know about clothes? You walk around naked!" He stalked to the side of the bed.

The small cat-like creature stood up and growled low in his throat making a sound rather impressive for his size. "I'm not naked, boy! It's called fur. Look it up!" He hopped off the bed. "And just for that, you're going to bring me cream tonight AND some smoked salmon." Griff-Gruff sailed out of the room.

"I should have fed you to the spiders."

Griff-Gruff poked his head back in. "I'm out of the room, Malfoy-" His eyes widened as if he were speaking to someone who was very stupid. "Not deaf." He turned to leave but stopped, his expression growing especially crafty. "So, Malfoy, I was reading in your journal that you-"

"You read my journal!"

"You left it open on your bed." Griff-Gruff sounded offended. "As if I would go rifling through your things! You seem to be especially dull today. God only knows what bizarre accouterments I'd find in your bags. I'd be washing my paws for weeks."

Draco was horrified. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"As I've told you before, the snakes talked, Malfoy. There are no secrets at Hogwarts." He rolled his eyes. "I thought you wanted me to get a firmer grasp on your psyche. I know my Gryffindor students very well. Granted, I'm not sure if I . . . grasp some of the more graphic--"

"I'm touched," the blond-haired young man cut him off sarcastically. "You wanted to be closer to me."

"Not that close." He flung his head back in a regal way. "Anyway, the point of this conversation is . . . it would be a shame if that journal fell into the wrong hands." He gave his sulking student a very pointed look. "And I think you know whose hands I'm referring to." Then, Griff-Gruff shook his head. "However, I may be assuming too much. You're very pretty but Mother Nature wasn't very kind when it comes to brains."

"That's quite enough!" Draco strode over to him. He towered over the small griffin. "Are you threatening me?"

"Well, yes," Griff replied impatiently as he strutted out of the room.

****

* * *

Hermione bit her lips as she gingerly added the last piece of Orris Root to the potion she was brewing. The hot liquid hissed and sputtered in the cauldron before turning vermillion. She let out an undignified whoop of joy and bounced on her heels.

"Well done," Professor Snape said. She turned to find him seated at another table with his notes spread out in front of him. "I know many university students who have had difficulty with that potion."

"Thank you, Professor." She beamed at him. This was extremely high praise coming from Snape.

Severus took a sip of his tea and waved her over. "Since you've proven yourself today, I'll give you a bit more responsibility." Intrigued, Hermione drifted to his side. "Have you ever created a potion before?"

"No, I haven't," she breathed as she examined his notes. His script was concise and clean as it outlined the various combinations he'd created and their results.

He seemed surprised. "Perhaps we'll further your education this year. I bet you could create some fairly advanced potions with some guidance."

Hermione was overjoyed. Just think of how that would look on her transcripts! "I'd like that."

Severus was absurdly pleased that she was pleased. He shook it off. What did he care what students felt? "Yes, well, one thing at a time."

"What exactly are you making here, professor?" Her attention already on the notes once more.

"You tell me."

"Hmmm. . .cardom, rose petals, and amphyr. . ." As she read thee the ingredients off, she noted that were included in all drafts of the spell. "A protection spell?"

"Clever." Severus nodded. "Exactly. It will deflect any spell from the person who drinks it."

"Who's it for?"

"Professor Dumbldore. He must be protected at all times."

"Of course." She knew they needed his help in the coming fight. Voldemort feared the old wizard like no other.

"There is one ingredient missing. I've tried several herbs, some roots, and even some of those ghastly rodent tails. Nothing has worked thus far."

"Hmmm." Hermione's eyes remained on the paper. She bit her lip once more, a habit she took comfort in when she was concentrating on something difficult.

"You don't have to work so hard, Miss Granger, I merely wanted a fresh pair of eyes to see the formula."

Paying little attention to him, she slipped into what Harry and Ron called 'research mode'. First she dug out fresh parchment and a sharp quill. Then she moved around the room, carefully removing bottles from shelves, and finally settled herself at a clean desk. Diligently, she began making notes of what had been tried, and what had not. Snape observed her intensely, remembering a small black haired boy swallowed up in his robes, behaving in just that sort of way in the classroom of another potions master. He stepped closer to her chair, so that he could see her work over her shoulder. Her writing was like small type, and he leaned close to read it.

Just then, there came a large crash and a boom from his private store room. It startled him, but it scared Hermione spitless. She jumped two feet in the air, her shoulder knocking into Professor Snape's chin, causing him to inadvertently bite his tongue and say a few words that made her blush. She started to apologize, but he was already halfway across the room, headed towards the origin of the crash. She trailed after him. "Is everything ok?"

Snape stared down at the two snakes now covered in black powder, squirming about on the floor amongst bits of broken bottles and scattered herbs. "And just what do you two think you're doing?"

They glared at him and hissed.

"What do you think they said?" Hermione questioned. The two snakes looked at her, hissed a bit more, and then made a sound that was distinctly similar to laughter. She glared suspiciously at them.

"I'm not sure, but I doubt it was polite." He glared at them. "Perhaps we could work on a potion to help one understand parsletongue." Sighing, he scooped the snakes up into his arms. They were now leaning away and appeared to be trying to hiss without opening their mouths. "Miss Granger, please excuse me. If you would like to continue working, please feel free to use anything in the lab. I need to pay a visit to Mr. Potter."

She smiled so brightly it nearly blinded him. "Really? Anything?"

He fought a smile. "Yes. Anything." He swept out of the room, trying to look grim, but feeling oddly uplifted by the afternoon spent in her company. It was a relief to be around a student as bright as she, without the worry of Slytherin politics to offset his reaction. He looked down at the snakes that were currently wrapped around his wrist. Unfortunately, he had business to take care of now. He would return to check on her in a few hours.

****

* * *

"I'm sorry, sir. I don't feel comfortable saying those words in front of a professor." Harry winced as he heard them start snickering again. Suddenly he gasped in shock. Turning to them, he stated in parseltongue, _"I'm not quite sure what that is, but I don't think it's anatomically possible for anyone but a snake."_

"I demand you tell me what they said, Mr. Potter!" Snape clenched his jaw.

"Do you promise you won't give me detention? Or deduct House points?" Harry gave another sideways glance at the serpents, who now appeared to be rolling over and over in uncontrolled mirth on his bedspread.

"Yes." Snape sighed. "I promise."

Suddenly Snarky stopped laughing. _"You're not really going to tell him, are you, Harry?"_

_"Yeah, we know where you sleep, you know,"_ Snippy added with a menacing shake of his tail.

_"What's his problem anyway, the old miser! Like he doesn't have enough potions and powders to spare,"_ huffed Snarky.

_"Well, he's hardly spending his money on toothpaste, now is he?" _Their eyes both flicked to his mouth.

_"That's just disgusting. He needs to invest in some mouthwash. Maybe a toothbrush of his very own."_ Snippy's eyes lit up. He slithered down to the end of the bed and jumped up and down to get Snape's attention. _"Hey, Halitosis! Pay attention. You need to brush your teeth!"_

Snarky joined him. _"At least once a week. C'mon, you must've seen other people do it. Think back."_

_"Maybe he just doesn't know how."_ Snippy lifted his tail until it was parallel with his mouth, he pretended to brush each fang. Then he pointed to Snape. _"Now, you try."_

_"PLEASE!!"_ Snarky begged.

"He looks like he's trying to induce vomiting. Tell me what that snake said." Severus looked confused and slightly worried.

_"Oh, like people vomiting around you is a big surprise."_ Snarky curled into a coil, pouting. _"It's no use, Snippy. Smelly is as smelly does."_

_"One day, you're eavesdropping on a sex god, the next you're up close and personal with the dentally misfortunate. Yeah, life is like a box of Bertie Bott's Beans. You never know what you're gonna get."_ Snippy sighed.

_"I know what bean we're getting."_ Snarky ducked his head in despair. _"Vomit."_

Harry stared helplessly at the scene. How was he going to tell Snape this? "Um, they want to know why you won't share your potions. They seem to think you have a lot."

"Is that all they said?" Snape looked doubtful.

"No, sir. They, uh, want to know if you know about any-" He swallowed, glancing back at the snakes who gave him encouraging looks. "Uh, tooth-cleaning, er, potions?"

"They want to clean their teeth?" Snape hadn't thought snakes worried about dental health.

The snakes touched their tails to their foreheads and sighed.

_"I ssssswear to you, the man graduated with honors. How hard can it be to put a stick in your mouth and swish it around?"_ Snarky looked forlornly at Harry.

Snippy bared his fangs at Snape. _"Do these look like they've been neglected?"_ He turned his head from side to side. _"Pearly white teeth! Shiny, happy gums!"_ He shouted loudly, _"Nice MINTY, FRESH breath!"_

"I think he's yelling at me." Snape was shocked. "I'm the Head of Slytherin House!"

Snarky blinked. _"And that means. . .what?"_

"What did he say?" Snape demanded.

"He said he was sorry."

_"Ssscaredy cat."_ Snippy hissed a laugh.

"Anyway, they wanted to borrow some stuff from you-"

_"We specifically said ssssteal some stuff,"_ Snarky pointed out.

"And thought since you were busy with Hermione, they'd just get it themselves." Harry hurried the rest of the sentence before more comments came. "And they didn't mean to break anything, they were just trying to get something on the top shelf."

_"It ssslipped,"_ Snippy said in his own defense.

"And what did they want with these things? Something for their fangs?" Snape asked satisfied, if still a bit confused.

Harry scratched his head for a second, looking like a small boy. "They want to make a poison."

_"Ssss'right. Big, bad, deadly, take a sip and fall over stone cold kinda poison,"_ Snarky affirmed.

"And where did they learn how to make a poison?" He asked slowly.

"From me! Ha-ha!" A book jumped out from under Harry's bed. The Blackest Magic Ever! "Told you I was evil. Hear that? Evil. Capital 'E' kinda evil!"

Harry made a lunge for the book and missed. "Quick, sir! Before it escapes again!"

The warning was in vain, as the book slipped past Snape and ran cackling through the dorm. Snape sighed. "I hate that book."

"Me, too." Harry looked dejected. "At least if it's not in my room, it can't wake me up and threaten to give me nightmares. That was getting old."

Snape turned back to the snakes. "For one, you shouldn't trust anything that book tells you. For two, who are you trying to kill?"

"They said they want it to kill a few spiders." The snakes sniggered louder. "I don't think they've recovered from the forest experience, sir. They've been squishing spiders all over the castle. And I heard them try to bribe Hedwig into dropping the little 'corpses' into the woods as fair warning."

Before Snape could comment on the ridiculousness of that entire statement, there came a soft knock at the door. It swung open, and there stood Draco Malfoy. He looked over the rooms that were meant to be his with a curious mixture of jealousy and disdain. "Mr. Malfoy?"

"Severus?" His eyes alit on Harry. "Uh, sir? I thought we had a meeting to talk about- that extra potions assignment you wanted me to start on," Draco said softly, giving Snape a meaningful look.

_"Ooooh, Sssssnape's got an appointment with the ssssex god,"_ Snarky observed.

Harry's ears perked up. _"You have to make appointments?" _He asked in parseltongue. Draco's attention fixed on Harry.

_"What's a matter, Harry? Afraid the Professor might move in on your man?"_ asked Snippy. _"Don't worry, Death Breath doesn't have a chance."_

_"He's not my-"_ he started to answer then, but sensing the attention of the other two men in the room, he cut himself off and decided to ignore the snakes for as long as he could.

"Pardon me, Draco. I got caught up. Let's go to my personal quarters to discuss this shall we?" And Snape glided out of the room, calling to Harry to keep an eye on Snippy and Snarky.

"What were you saying to them?" Draco couldn't hold down his curiosity. Parseltongue intrigued him.

"What are you doing here, Malfoy? Looking for an excuse to see my bedroom?" Harry stood up, ignoring the snakes who slithered under the bed hoping to eavesdrop. "All you had to do was ask."

"Stop trying to hit on me." Draco sneered and stalked slowly toward the green-eyed boy. "What I am doing here certainly has nothing to do with you, Potter." He stopped inches from Harry. The sneer on his face changed slowly into a suggestive smirk, and he looked Harry over lazily. "And if I wanted you in bed, I'd already have you there." Draco's lips nearly grazed his for a second as Harry stood stiff with shock. Draco pushed him abruptly, and he sprawled back across the bed. "And anywhere else I wanted."

"What are you doing?" Harry asked, feeling confused and oddly trembly.

Draco hesitated for a moment, as if suddenly wondering the same thing himself. "Teasing," he decided, before turning and sweeping out of the rom in a gesture rather like Snape's exits.

_"How disappointing."_ Snarky appeared on Harry's left, curling over his elbow to look into his face.

_"Yeah, you didn't even get a sssnog,"_ Snippy remarked sadly._ "Just pushed around. On your own bed."_

_"That ssssucks, Harry."_ Snarky shrugged. _"Some people like that sort of thing, though."_

Both snakes looked at him, eager for a confession but none was forthcoming.

"You guys make it sound like I wanted to snog him." Harry propped himself up on his elbows.

_"Don't you?"_ Snarky asked.

_"Everybode else seems to,"_ Snippy pointed out.

"What's wrong with you two? You haven't insulted me in nearly ten minutes." Harry narrowed suspicious eyes on them. "What do you want?"

_"We were wondering . . . "_ Snippy tried not to be embarrassed. _"If you could squish another spider for us . . ."_

_"He's friggin' huge! I'm sure he's been picking off house elves left and right!"_ Snarky pointed out. _"Next thing you know, he'll be grabbing passing first years. It's really your duty as prefect to get him!"_

_"And he's in the hallway leading to the kitchen!"_ Snippy shuddered. _"Right in the path of our sssnackage route."_

"You guys aren't afraid a castle spider is going to eat you, are you?" Harry asked.

_"Course not." _Snarky pronounced. _"But on the off-chance he starts getting bigger and changes his mind, we'd prefer you sssssquish him now."_

"Oh, all right." Harry reluctantly agreed. Who knows? Maybe he'd get some tension release out of it.

_"Bessssides, it's by Snape's door."_ Snippy reminded him. _"We could. . .I don't know. . .listen in. See what's going on."_

"That would be wrong," Harry said halfheartedly.

_"Abssssolutely,"_ Snarky agreed, eyes alight.

"Something a prefect should never do."

Snippy nodded. _"That's true."_

"There are rules to follow."

Snarky slid up his arm. _"I prefer to think of them as guidelines. Sssuggestions, really."_

_"I only think it's wrong if you get caught,"_ Snippy added helpfully.

Harry stood up. "Alright. Let's do it." The snakes gave their trademark 'thee, thee thee' laugh in wicked anticipation as they took off behind their prefect.

****

* * *

Hermione hesitated at the entrance to Snape's personal storage room. Technically, it was part of the lab, and he had said to feel free to use anything in the lab. Still, she wasn't certain if he had meant the main lab or anything included in the area. She looked over her shoulder one more time and headed in. At first she just scanned the shelves quickly, looking for the ingredient that was missing from the shelf. She couldn't seem to find what she was looking for and was about to give up when a box, half under a table in the back caught her eye.

Feeling incredibly self-conscious she crossed the room and pulled the box out from under the table. Inside were what appeared to be old research journals and papers. She shoved the box's contents to one side and began to go through them systematically, starting at the back. To her amusement, she found old school projects of Snape's, papers he'd written and experiments he'd conducted. She found a great many extra credit assignments, mostly in potions. As she moved to the middle, she found personal journals. Some were from early years at Hogwarts. They followed in chronological order until shortly after he had graduated the university, then picked up again, auspiciously skipping quite a few years. Towards the front of the box, she found his letter of acceptance to teach here from Dumbledore, and then there were file folders with what appeared to be various students' names, each marked with a set of years. She was shocked to find one with her name, the year she had started Hogwarts and a dash.

Opening it up she found almost every major project and paper she had done for Potions, as well as many from her other classes. How had he gotten these things? He must have taken the time to visit her other teachers and ask for them. Clutching her folder in her lap, she thumbed through another one, not even bothering to note the name. Frowning, she looked through several more. Every other folder contained only Potions projects. Carefully, she put the box back in order. She was about to replace her own folder when a slip of paper fell out. It was addressed to Dumbledore, and appeared to be a copy of a letter. Reading it quickly, she found that it was a request for funds to offer a scholarship for students gifted in potions to the university, indicating that she was to be the first candidate. And it was signed, Severus Snape.

Hermione quickly shoved her folder back into place and pushed the box back where it had been. Her ingredients forgotten, she rushed out of the store room, closing it behind her. She seated herself back at the desk she had been working on. She had always assumed that Snape hated her. So why would he offer to pay her way through college?

Suddenly, something bumped into her leg. She let out a shriek.

"Aaghhhhhh!" He shrieked back at her. "Dudet. You need to re-laaaax."

"Oh, hello Haze. What are you doing in here?" She put her hand to her chest, trying to slow her heartrate.

"I was looking for some herbs."

"Oh? What kind of herbs? Maybe I can help you find them."

"Noooo. I'm pretty sure you don't know about these ones." He tilted back to look up at her. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm working on a project for Professor Snape," She explained with a sigh, looking back at her notes.

"Protection spell for Dumbledore?" He waited for her to nod. "Figured he'd ask you to help." He twitched his tail. "Have you seen Professor Sprout anywhere? I was supposed to meet her . . ."

"Nope, haven't seen her."

"Ok, then." Haze stumbled to his feet. "Y'know, Hermione, you're real cool."

"Uh, thanks. I think."

"You ever feel stressed, need someone to talk to, or some special herbs to relax, you let me know." He winked at her. "I'll hook you up."

"Thanks . . ." She stared bemused at the creature as he headed for the door. "I'll tell Professor Sprout you're looking for her."

"Groo-oovy." He sauntered out the door.

****

* * *

"The meeting's tomorrow evening," Draco said, his face was as white as his hair.

"I haven't forgotten," Snape said, not unkindly. He took the young man by his shoulders. "You are going to go there, do what you must, and come home."

"What if they-"

"Do not speculate. You'll make yourself as mad as a hatter if you do. Merely accept whatever happens and follow the lead of others."

Two serpents poked their heads out from under the door, one blue and one green.

_"What do I ssssssspy with my beady little eye?"_ Snippy slithered over to a shadowy corner.

_"Oooh, they're touching,"_ Snarky said as he came to rest beside his friend.

_"I ssssee. They're on the verge of naughty touching."_

_"I'll say. Groping really. Aren't they supposed to be six inches apart? It's in the rule book."_

_"Suggestions."_ Snippy reminded.

_"Yessss, rules are for breaking. We established that."_ Snarky rolled his red eyes. _"What meeting are they talking about?"_

_"Hair Grease Anonymoussss?"_ Snippy suggested. _"Maybe Draco is helping him work the twelve step program to oil free hair styles."_

Malfoy and Snape sat down in opposing chairs. "What about Potter?"

Snape waved an impatient hand. "What about him? This is no concern of his."

"He'll figure out that something's going on. I already think he's suspicious." Draco grasped his professor's forearm. "You don't know him like I do. He won't stop until he finds out."

"And what if he does?" Snape looked thoughtful. "Granted, it wouldn't be according to plan, however, we-"

"This was supposed to be easier. I was supposed to be living down the hall from you!"

Snippy and Snarky nearly danced in delight. There was nothing more gratifying than a secret. Especially one of this magnitude.

_"This is juiccccccy, isn't it?"_ Snippy commented.

_"Yeah, the professor and the prefect,"_ Snarky agreed. _"How wicked!" _

_"Hmmm. . .I smell expulsion. . ."_ Snippy said gleefully.

_"And susssssspension." _

_"And perhaps a firing." _

_"There's only one thing to decide."_ Snarky sighed.

_"Blackmail? Or Blabbing?"_ They whispered to each other as they raced under the door with devilish excitement.

****

* * *

Rune glared at Harry Potter from high atop her perch on the Raveclaw flag post. "And just what are you doing?"

Harry ground his foot into the hard stone of the castle floor. "Making a spider corpse."

"Is it for a spell?" She asked hopefully.

"No, it's just for killing, I'm afraid."

Rune examined his scar from her viewpoint. "I thought it would be bigger."

"I thought it was awfully big. I have spider guts all over my instep." He tossed the carcass into a nearby wastebasket.

"Not the blasted spider. Honestly!" She said. "Pay attention."

"We changed topic?"

"Yes!" She flew down to light on his shoulder. "Tell me about your scar."

"No." He continued on down the hall. "I've talked about it much more than I care to."

"It isn't for my morbid curiosity! It's for science!" Rune explained.

"You sound like a friend of mine."

"Well, I hope it isn't that horrible Hermione girl. She doesn't have a brain in her head."

"Hey! She's my best friend, well, one of two anyway."

"You obviously do not choose your friends on the basis of academic prowess."

"Who does?"

"I do!"

"Isn't that. . .fun?" Harry shook his head. "Can I help you? Do you need something?"

"Yes, I need protection from a book." Rune fluffed out her feathers. "Keeps trying to tell me how er,-"

"Evil it is?" She nodded at him. Harry cursed. "Bloody hell. Maybe we should throw it in The Dark Forest or something."

"It wouldn't stop me! Nothing can stop me!" The book cackled as it ran down the hallway to stand by Harry. "Go ahead. I'm not afraid. Know why?"

"Because you're evil?" Harry asked blandly.

"Exactly!"

Harry picked up the book before it could run away and tossed it into the trash with the spider corpse. "Now, you're icky and evil."

"I have spider entrails on me!" The book screamed. "You blackguard! I demand you pick me up and clean me off. I'm a first edition! I should be treated gently and placed on a shelf!" It shrieked as something settled against the picture. "It. . .it's sticky! And I have crunched up feelers on my chin! How could you do this to me!?"

"Because," Harry smirked. "I'm evil."


	6. The Villain He Was Destined To Be

**TITLE:** Trading Spaces 6

**RATING:** R (slash warning m/m)

**PAIRING:** HG/SS, HP/DM, HP/HG (friendship)

**Chapter Six: The Villain He Was Destined To Be**

****

* * *

Harry and Hermione were lounging on her bed watching Practical Magic and laughing at the outlandish things the movie witches did with their magic. They were watching an entertainment system that all the prefects had chipped in for the last year. It was a secret V.C.R, television, and large speakers that they shrunk and passed around from House to House under the unknowing eye of the Hogwarts' faculty.

Hermione's room was still swathed in Slytherin green but it held a feminine influence as well. Large silver bows held back the bed curtains. Her bed linens were white lace and her pillows were embroidered with her initials. There were bowls of potpourri on her dresser and night stand. She had several thick candles in glass stands. Large oriental rugs covered the wooden floors. She had two vases of everfresh roses, one on her dresser and the other on the large wooden table that served as a desk and meeting place for students.

"Maybe that's what you need to do," Harry said as he pointed to the screen. "Make a love spell out of flowers."

"I don't need a love spell," Hermione said, giving him a look.

Snippy and Snarky were hidden under her bed, behind the dust ruffle. Snarky batted away the lacy fabric with his tail. _"Honestly, this place is a frilly nightmare."_

_"I know."_ Snippy concurred as he got a whiff of the sprigs of lavender that were under her sheets. _"This is where flowers come to die."_

Snarky inched towards the left side of the bed, where Hermione's shower caddy lay on the floor. _"Let's just get the supplies and get gone."_

_"Yep, Operation Dentist is underway,"_ Snippy said as he poked his head out and slithered to the caddy for all his worth. Snarky kept a beady eye on the oblivious prefects and then followed his compatriot. They dove into the caddy with gusto.

On the screen, Sandra Bullock's character was lighting a candle with her breath.

Harry tossed a kernel of popcorn in his mouth. "I bet Snape could do that." He frowned. "Or maybe he'd make the candle melt."

"It's your fault," Hermione said irritably as she carefully sorted through her box of jellybeans. She knew which color the more unpleasant flavors were.

"Uh, no. If you recall, Snape had fatal breath long before I came on the scene."

"Maybe."

"Definitely!"

"It's probably from testing all those vile potions," she defended. "And, you helped it along as I recall with your blasted bad breath potion."

"I remember," Harry said with a grin as he leaned back on his elbows.

_"Hold on a tick, did he just say that he was responsible for the breath of death?"_ Snarky asked, popping out of the caddy with pilfered toothpaste in his grasp.

_"I think he did," _Snippy said, two angry red patches appearing on his cheeks._ "Why I oughta-"_

_"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"_

_"Darn tootin,'"_ Snippy agreed.

_"CHARGE!"_ They yelled.

"Did you hear something?" Harry asked. Hermione dropped her soda on the floor. "What is it?"

"Snakes!" She saw Snippy and Snarky making for the bed at high speed. They leapt on Harry and got in his face, brandishing extra toothbrushes in a threatening manner.

_"Do you know how many times I've fainted?"_ Snippy asked, he was nose to snake with Harry. He poked him with his toothbrush for emphasis. _"HUH?! Do ya?!"_

_"Yeah!"_ Snarky snuck up his side, until he was on the other side of his nose, and proceeded to smack him with his toothbrush on the nose. _"Do ya?" _

_"Whatever you did, undo it!"_

_"NOW!"_ They both yelled.

Hermione peered around Harry. "Is that my floss on the floor?"

_"Tell her it's going to Snape,"_ Snippy snapped. _"And. . .tell her you are doing a counterpotion."_

_"Tonight!"_ Snarky added.

"They want to give it to Snape," Harry told Hermione. "And they want me to reverse the spell on him."

"I have no problem with that," Hermione said, grinning. They were going to save her hours of work.

_"Well?"_ Snippy asked. _"What's it gonna be, Potter?"_

_"Death by snake bite or playin' the tooth fairy?"_

_"That wasn't gay bashing, by the way,"_ Snippy assured him. He bumped Harry's glasses with his nose. _"But I wasn't kidding about the bites." _

Snarky held out his fangs and bit down in rapid succession on thin air for show.

"Alright, alright!" Harry said irritably. "I'll get on it right after the movie."

_"No, you're gonna do it now!"_ They both shouted.

"Fine, I'll do it tonight."

_"I don't know, maybe the counterpotion isn't enough,"_ Snippy said craftily. _"We want him better than he was before."_

_"Yeah, we deserve more. No snakes have suffered the way we have suffered,"_ Snarky agreed. _"We want him to smell better."_

_"And not just in a mint-and-gum-kinda-cover-up-the-nasty-stench way." _

_"We want his teeth to be whiter,"_ Snarky spelled it out. _"All the time!" _

_"Don't forget the mint smell,"_ Snippy reminded him.

Snarky glanced at Hermione. _"Ask her, I bet she knows. She's like a textbook on legs."_

Harry crossed his arms over his chest and sighed. "They want you to help me. They want us to give him good breath and white teeth."

"I can help with that."

_"I knew she'd know,"_ Snarky said.

"But you two will be administering it," Harry said. "He'd never take a potion from me."

_"We can do that,"_ Snippy agreed. _"Anything for minty fresh protection."_

"Could it be slipped into his tea or coffee?" Harry asked Hermione.

"I'm afraid not. Those kind of potions are tricky. It has to be absorbed by the body. If it goes through the digestive track it would be obliterated. The best bet is absorption through the skin."

_"We have to bathe him with it?" _Snarky asked in horror.

Harry laughed before saying to Hermione. "They want to know if they have to give him a bath in it."

"Uh, no, they just have to drop it on him."

Both of the snakes' eyes lit up at what sounded like fun to them. _"Operation Breath Mint begins tomorrow."_

****

* * *

Harry stepped back to admire his handiwork. Twenty-four little bottles of minty potions were all lined up on his dresser. Snippy slithered around his neck to take a look. _"Exccccellent, Harry. That should be enough."_

"I don't know about the bottles though," Harry murmured. "Hermione will kill me if we hurt him." He shook his head. "I have no idea why."

_"Sssscared of a girl?"_ Snarky chuckled.

"Of a girl that's memorized every spell and charm we've ever learned? Um, let me think. . .yes." Harry grinned, proud of his friend. Suddenly, Snippy's eyes lit up. He shot out of the room and was back in a matter of moments with a plastic bag full of brightly colored bits. "What's this?"

_"They're called 'water balloons'."_ Snippy dropped the bag on the dresser. _"Muggle toy. You're supposed to fill them with water and throw them at people you don't like."_

"And where did you get these?"

_"The Weasssley twins."_ Snarky grinned. _"Sorta misss those two."_

_"Nipped a lot of great stuff off them. . ." _Snippy sighed fondly.

"You're gonna pelt him with the potion?" Harry asked with disbelief.

_"That's the plan. . ."_ Snarky said, his tail twitching because of the implied criticism.

"Do you think that's wise?"

They moved closer together, red eyes flashing, light glinting off their shiny scales. _"Do you think its wise to question us?"_

"Hey!" Harry spread his hands. "Let's not forget who saved you from the spiders."

_"We haven't,"_ Snippy said slyly. _"We owe Malfoy bigtime."_ They both snickered, _"theee theee theee."_

"Ha bloody ha," Harry said, fitting a balloon over the end of a potion bottle. "This sort of reminds me of a Muggle game I once played. . .paint ball."

****

* * *

Draco Malfoy walked down to the dungeons where Snape's office was located. His mind was filled with a myriad of images. All stemming from what he was about to do this evening. He needed to speak with the Professor and prepare himself. Draco felt both burdened and blessed with his secret. He both dreaded and looked forward to this evening. He opened the door to the classroom, he was past the point of politeness where Snape was concerned. The man was practically family.

Draco stepped through the opening and found himself drenched in a blue substance that smelled of mint. He closed his eyes and wiped a hand over his forehead to clear it. He heard the distinct sound of snake laughter in the vicinity. After living in Slytherin House for six years, he'd become accustomed to it.

_"Whohoo! How many points do I get for a sex god?"_ Snarky asked. He and Snarky high fived each other with their tails.

_"That was spot on!"_ Snippy raved, doing a little shimmy. _"I give you two tails for accuracy and speed."_ He eyed his best friend. _"But he's just a prefect, that title is merely honorary." _

_"Fine. Spoil all my fun."_ Snarky pouted. _"But that gives me eight points."_

_"Yes, yes, we all heard the point system. One point for a first year, two points for a second year, etc, etc, ad nauseam. Eight points for a prefect, nine for head boy or head girl, ten for a professor, 15 for Head of House, 20 for Dumbledore, and 21 for the other mascots except Griff-Gruff who's worth 25."_

_"Too bad there's no one here but prefects and professors."_

_"They'll be more soon!" _

Harry stared down at the snakes. "You guys did that on purpose! You saw him clearly before you threw it."

_"And you're what. . .? Shocked and disappointed? We're Slytherins,"_ Snarky said.

"It's not really sporting to play paint potion with people who don't know they're playing."

_"Yes, but therein lies the fun,"_ Snippy stated.

Meanwhile, Draco was less surprised and more angry as he continued to wring the fluid out of his uniform. "What? You like the wet look, Potter?"

Harry guiltily stood up from behind one of the desks. "Uh, the snakes did it. . .?"

Snippy and Snarky shook their tails at him. _"No one likes a tattletale, Harry."_

"And you just decided to go along for the ride?"

"I, uh, I--"

"Articulate as always, Potter." Draco regarded him for a moment. The green-eyed boy looked distinctly out of sorts. "And I suppose you expect me to believe that you, the only parseltongue here, had nothing to do with it?"

Harry shrugged. "Well, I made the potion, but-"

"Just stop talking." Draco held up a hand for a moment and sighed. He looked down at the blue fluid on his hands. "By the way, what does this do?"

"Oh, it'll give you nice breath and white teeth," Harry told him.

Malfoy's eyes did that strange thing where they looked warm, sultry even. "Any particular reason you wanted to do that to me?"

"Snakes-" Harry said helplessly.

"I'm going to take a shower." Draco made for the door and then stopped to glance at Harry. "Alone." He shut the door behind him.

****

* * *

Draco Malfoy rubbed his towel over his hair, tousling the blond locks. He'd just gotten out of the shower and wore a white towel wrapped around his lean hips. He now stood in front of the large cheval glass mirror in his room and studied his reflection.

Tonight would be a turning point in his life. There could be no going back. He squared his shoulders and squared his chin. Draco hoped that he could fulfill his purpose tonight. Hoped that he could play the part he seemed to be given in this strange play. For some reason, his gaze lingered on his own eyes. Silvery grey and unfathomable. He sought the liar within, the villain he knew he was destined to be. He moved his stare to the black robe laced with silver that hung shadowed in his closet.

A Death Eater shroud. Malfoy began to smile.

* * *

****

Snippy and Snarky were balancing on the doorjamb in Snape's living room. The Professor was pacing back and forth before the fire. _"Come on, just a bit closer,"_ Snippy said, holding the balloon coiled in his tail.

_"You can do it, Snippy,"_ Snarky enthused. _"You must do it, for all snake kind. This bad breath must end." _

Snape surprised them both by throwing himself into a chair_. _

_"Aww, man," _Snippy complained.

_"Go on, you know what you have to do."_

Snippy slithered down the door and onto the floor while Snarky hummed the 'Mission Impossible' theme. They'd both caught the movie when the Weasley brothers had smuggled it in. _"Get him good!"_

_"Don't worry! I will,"_ Snippy answered as he slunk up the back of Snape's chair. Just then, Snape stood once more.

_"Holy freakin' Merlin!!"_

Snippy was rapidly turning red. _"I could think of a few places I'd like to put this balloon and on his skin ain't one of 'em."_

_"Calm down!"_ His friend hissed. _"We're gonna get through this."_

Just then, Lockwood's book snuck through the doorway.

_"Hey there,"_ Snippy whispered in greeting.

The book waived and then yelled. "IIIIII'M BAAAACK!!"

Professor Snape jumped and then he pasted on an annoyed expression. "You'd do well to be quiet or I'll take you to a place of real dark magic."

"But you couldn't because I contain THE Blackest M-"

_"Pssst, Book, we're trying to hit Snape with this potion, could you help?"_

"I'd be delighted!" The book agreed.

"Who are you talking to?" Snape asked, turning his head, both snakes ducked out of site, Snarky flattening himself to blend into the doorjamb.

"The evil spirts I commune with. Are you scared?"

"Petrified," Snape said, deadpan.

"That's right, that's right! FEAR ME!" It jumped up and down. "Bow down to the frightening, all-powerful-"

"Don't forget long-winded," Snape added, turning away to the window. He was hoping it would come closer. Maybe if he aimed for the lake. . .

"You'd better learn to respect evil or I'll. . . I'll-"

_"Thanks for the help!"_ Snippy and Snarky beamed at the book. Snippy tossed him the potion and made for the doorway where Snarky slithered down to meet him.

The book grinned. "Throw something at you." It lobbed the blue liquid filled balloon and hit Snape square on the back, soaking through his robes.

"You. . .you . . " Snape was trembling with rage, unable to speak. His eyes were thunderous as they settled on the book.

"Evil thing? Menace to the wizarding world? Demon?"

Snape advanced on the book. "You're a freckle . . . no, a boil on the ugly ass of evil."

_"Ewwww,"_ The snakes said.

"An ass pimple!? An ass pimple!" The book stopped, pondering for a moment. "Wait, I think that's on page 47. Hold on. . ." It flipped it's pages. "I'll really put pimples on your-" Snape produced his wand and grabbed up the book. His eyes were filled with a wicked glint. "You're breath isn't as bad as usual."

The snakes grabbed the opportunity to slither out the door. _"Sssssucker." _

****

* * *

_"I say that's ten points each for that!"_ Snippy crowed in elation.

_"I agree."_ His fellow snake nodded approvingly.

_"That only leaves one question."_

_"Who do we hit next?"_ Snarky questioned as they slithered leisurely towards the kitchens.

_"What about Haze?"_ Snippy offered.

_"Oh, c'mon. It wouldn't even be worth a point,"_ Snarky pointed out. _"We could sneak up behind him after one of his sessions with Sprout and just pour it on him!"_

_"I was thinking we should do it as public service. You have to admit, he always has that smokey sweet scent lingering about him . . .and I'm not talking about patchouli either . . ."_ The snakes chuckled.

_"Alright, maybe-"_ Snarky made a choking sound as his slithering was abruptly stopped by a heavy object landing on his tail. Looking over at Snippy, he noticed a large golden paw on his tail as well.

"And where are you going?" It was Griff-gruff. He looked displeased and bored, which was to say, he looked as he always did.

_"To get a sssssnack,"_ Snarky hissed. _"Care to take your paw off me?"_

Griff-gruff looked from one snake to the other. "And what are you planning to do to Hazel?"

_"To Haze? Nothing, of course."_ Snippy gave him an angelic look, and whipped his tail away from the griffin.

"Mmmm, yes. I almost believe you." He stepped off of Snarky's tail. "I better not hear of anyone hurting him or--"

_"Or what, Griffyndor? You'll glare at us?"_ Snippy challenged. _"You think you can take us on?"_

Griff-gruff peered past the snakes. "Is that a spider coming down the hall? It's so big!"

_"Sssspider! Where?"_ Snarky and Snippy leapt into the air, spinning to look down the hallway.

"Must've been my imagination." Griff-gruff polished his talons on the front of his fur. "Oh, well."

_"That wasn't funny."_ Snarky glared.

"Strange. I thought it was quite amusing." He turned on his heel and headed back to his tower. "Sweet dreams you two! Don't let the bed-bugs bite . . ."

_"Oh, we are so getting him."_ Snippy bared his fangs.

_"Right after we get a big, big bottle of bug spray,"_ Snarky affirmed.

****

* * *

Hermione gingerly made her way down the castle corridors, mindful of her footfalls, purposefully making them softer. She rounded each corner quietly, wary of rousing another person, ghost, or worse yet, mascot. She was going to Professor Snape's private apartment. She thought she might have found the answer to the protection spell and she also had a book of his to return. Of course, she could have accomplished both of these tasks tomorrow but she was curious.

Hermione wanted to ask him about the folder but she hadn't been able to muster the courage. Maybe if she saw them out of the teacher/student space she would be able to ask him. She wasn't sure what it meant. Was she simply an exceptional student? Was he keeping tabs on one of Harry Potter's best friends? If so, why didn't Ron have a folder? She needed to sort this out before she made more out of it than there really was. She refused to examine why that was so important to her.

Hermione had nearly rounded the corner to Professor Snape's rooms when his door opened and he stepped out. She sucked in a breath as she saw him. Snape was garbed in a formal set of robes shot through with silver. He had a taller pair of shiny black boots that covered his knees. On his face was an inscrutable expression, neither familiar sneer nor rare smile. He turned on his heel and headed down the hallway away from her. She moved from her place behind the stone wall and followed him. She carefully matched his steps, lest she make some tell-tale noise.

Rationally, she knew this wasn't the best idea she'd ever had. She was risking the loss of House points, a tongue lashing, and perhaps even putting herself in danger . . . but she had to follow him. She needed to follow him. Hermione knew he was going to Apparate to a Death Eater meeting, there was no other explanation for his clothing or demeanor.

Hermione had the feeling that this was not her professor gliding along in front of her. This was Severus, loyal Death Eater, a disciple of the Dark Lord, agent of chaos and fear, master of Dark Arts. Who knew what sins he had committed or what acts of treachery he had been party too. She was fascinated. She did not understand how he could be so duplicitous, how he could keep his wits about him when faced with death for a minor slip up. Hermione told herself that she merely wanted to see him off. Be in his presence a bit longer. That was all.

Hermione lost some of her nerve as he entered The Dark Forest. His robes swished around him, yet, not even passing twigs and shrubbery snagged the fabric. Snape had an ominous air about him but that could be said of him on a good day. Tonight, he was extra sinister and more than a little frightening. She still couldn't turn back and run for the safety of the castle. She couldn't take her eyes off him. She was utterly riveted. His visage was compelling, chilling.

Abruptly, he stopped and she bent down behind the cloaking branches of a pine tree. She placed her hands against the trunk to steady herself and was dismayed to find sap there. She pulled her hands free and tried to wipe them on a fallen leaf. When, she looked up, he was gone.

Had he already Disapparated? Hermione got to her feet and cautiously moved into the open. She looked around but saw no sign of him.

"Blast!" She yelled as she stamped her foot.

She heard something rustling to the side of her, under the bushes. This wasn't good at all. This was The Dark Forest, after all. She backed away, the thing in the bushes rattled again. She began to back away a little faster until she hit something solid . . . like Professor Snape's back as he was Disapparating.

****

* * *

"I'm in trouble, aren't I?" Hermione babbled. "And not in the detention sense of the word, huh?"

Professor Snape continued to stare at her, his face a study in shock, apprehension, and fear. There were on a stone pathway in the center of a forest. The pathway led to a small clearing that was lit by torches embedded in the earth. This place held ancient power, the kind that could be harnessed without paying a price. Hermione could feel it penetrating the soles of her feet, humming under her skin. It was heady and seductive and oh-so-wrong.

Severus had found his voice. "We will discuss this later. Disapparate out of here this instant."

Hermione nodded and closed her eyes, summoning the magical force within herself. She concentrated on Hogwarts . . . her room specifically. But nothing happened. Magic was influenced by emotion for good or ill and her fear was blocking her magic.

"I can't!" She whispered, her panic rising. "I'm too afraid."

"Dear girl, there is nothing to fear in the place you wish to go. Horrors await you here," Severus said firmly.

"Thanks!" She bit out. "That really helped calm me down."

"You should be fearful. Do you know what they do to pretty little Muggle-born girls like you?" His eyes were lit with dark fire.

She grasped at the only thing that didn't scare her in the sentence. "You really think I'm pretty?"

Severus sighed. "That is not the issue at hand."

His mind was rapidly playing out and discarding scenarios. None of them produced desirable outcomes. That is to say, one that would allow Miss Granger to return home safe, sane, and sound.

"Try again," Severus encouraged, his voice taking the same gentle tone he had used on Rune.

She did, willing herself home with all of her might, trying to let his voice calm her.

"Oh God." She panted. "I can't. I can't!"

"It's alright." He soothed, wary of drawing attention to them. Luckily, he'd been the first to answer the summons.

"No, it's really not!" She was irrationally angry with him. "Right now I'm on the other side of world from the 'alright place'."

"Precisely. This is a time for calm deliberation. I can not Dissapparate you home. They've already sensed my presence here. We need to find another alternative."

They heard the snapping of a twig under a booted heel.

"Severus, there you are!" The sultry tones of Lucius Malfoy's voice froze the blood in Hermione's veins. "Well, well, well. An unexpected treat. I see why you've been so busy lately, Severus."

"One must have a hobby," Severus said carefully, watching Lucius.

"Hmmm . . . the Granger brat, I believe." His smile widened, reminding Harry of a grinning shark. "Isn't she a close friend of Harry Potter?"

"My name is Hermione," she said steadily. "And, yes, Harry's my best friend."

"It speaks!" Lucius said, eyes alighting with amusement. He walked in slow circles around her. "That's unfortunate."

Snape placed his hands on her shoulders and pulled her back against his body. With a swirl of motion, he encompassed most of her form with the voluminous folds of his cloak, concealing her from Lucius' gaze. "You'd do well to keep your eyes off my toys, Lucius. You should know by now I don't play well with others."

"And since when do you bring your toys to important meetings?" Lucius' eyes narrowed. "What's going on here?"

"The last I checked, Malfoy, you were not in charge." Snape's voice was calm and mocking. "I don't explain myself to you." He met his eyes. "Perhaps one as ambitious as yourself should remember his place, lest the Dark Lord find your hunger for power a little too strong."

"What are you implying, Snape?"

"That you might start watching your front as well as you do your back. That might keep your nose out of my business, where it belongs." And with that he swept away from the angry man, bearing Hermione along with him, his grip on her shoulders somehow reassuring, his mastery of the situation giving her hope.

Hermione couldn't resist a glance back over Snape's shoulder. For a moment, Lucius Malfoy stood, watching them. Then, as if some small noise had grabbed his attention, he turned to the side. Another man in a cloak, maybe an inch shorter than Lucius appeared at his side. As she watched, Lucius put his hand on the man's shoulder, then pulled him into a brief, fierce hug full of pride. When they turned to follow her and Snape up the stone path to whatever lay before them, she caught a glimpse of the young man's face before he put his mask in place. Draco? She couldn't be sure.

"Don't bother looking back, Miss Granger." Snape's grip tightened. "We must confront what's ahead of us now."


	7. Symmetry

**TITLE:** Trading Spaces 7

**RATING:** R (slash warning m/m)

**PAIRING:** HG/SS, HP/DM, HP/HG (friendship)

**Chapter Seven: Symmetry**

****

* * *

Harry lay on his bed, staring restlessly at the ceiling. He was bored out of his mind. School wouldn't be starting for another week and there was nothing to do. He'd already settled in. Monotony had even forced him to organize his school supplies. Harry had even polished and waxed his broom twice in anticipation of Quidditch matches. He'd gone to Hermione's rooms to watch another movie with her but she wasn't there. He'd sent an owl to Ron but had not heard back from him yet.

_"What'ssss a matter, Harry?"_ Snippy asked, slinking up the side of his bed and coming to rest on the pillow beside him.

"I'm bored." He threw an arm over his eyes. He briefly reflected on his habit of speaking parseltongue to the snakes only when other humans were around to overhear. Or around Draco was around. He began to ponder just why the blond seemed entranced by the sight and sound of Harry speaking parseltongue.

_"Hmmm . . . we have a cure for that,"_ Snarky said, sliding up the other side of his bed and resting on the other side of the pillow. His interjection distracted Harry before the nebulous thoughts that had been floating in his head all night could really take form.

"I don't think so. You guys get me in enough trouble as it is."

_"Ussss? We wouldn't dream of it. You decide to get in trouble and we merely tag along,"_ Snippy said innocently. _"You wanted us to spy on Snape for you, remember?"_

_"We tried to talk you out of it."_

"What conversation were you listening to? You two egged me on." He sat up. "What did you find out about that anyway? I got distracted by that damned book and then it was time to patrol."

_"Ssssorry, we forgot to tell you. Draco and Snape are friendly."_

_"Very friendly,"_ Snarky added, winking at Harry with one red eye.

"Oh. . .really? I didn't know that Snape. . .hmmm. Isn't that against the rules?"

_"I'll ssssay."_ Snippy snickered.

"That might get him fired, huh?" Harry's day was suddenly taking a better turn.

_"Too bad Dumbledore needs him right now,"_ Snarky said. _"That doesn't mean that it's socially acceptable though. Say, how much would you say a secret like that's worth, Harry?"_ Snarky asked. _"Thirty, maybe forty galleons?"_

"Oh, I don't know. . .wait, are you thinking about blackmailing him?" Harry screeched as he stood up.

They blinked and spoke in unison. _"Well, yessss."_ Then they beamed at him.

Snarky came to the end of the bed. _"That would keep us in chocolate frogs for months."_

Harry seemed lost in thought. "I wonder why Draco would . . . I mean, he's very . . . attractive. Aesthetically speaking, of course. Why would he . . . with Snape?"

_"Maybe Snape's the only person at Hogwarts the sex god hasn't slept with,"_ Snippy said sagely before tossing a saucy grin at Harry. _"Other then yourself, of course."_

"Hey! I might be gay but I would never-" Harry broke off. "Draco is bad, he's-"

_"Naughty?"_ Snarky snickered.

Harry's mouth compressed to a long, thin line. "Why are you here anyway? Shouldn't you be out squishing some spiders?"

_"We're bored too,"_ Snippy answered. _"We already flattened everything with eight legs in the castle." _He smiled. _"You should see the fourth floor, it's like the day after a Greek tragedy in there."_

Harry screwed up his face. "What?"

_"What were saying is that we're bored, too,"_ Snarky supplied.

They both slithered up his pant legs. _"We want to play paint potion!"_

"Guys, we already did that."

_"But we didn't even get anyone good. Come on, Harry, it'll be fun." _

_"Yeah! We could even use the Marauder's Map." _Snippy was fishing for confirmation that their inside info was correct and Harry was currently in possession of said artifact.

"How did you know about that?"

_"We'll never tell,"_ Snippy smirked.

"That's definitely not sporting," Harry admonished.

_"We know!"_ They practically swooned from the mischievousness of it.

_"C'mon, Harry!"_ Snippy pleaded. _"We tried for years to get it from the Weasley twins, but we couldn't get it to show the map!"_

"Alright, alright." Harry really was bored. "But we're not going after Griff-Gruff. Not while I'm playing."

_"Fine, fine,"_ Snarky said dismissively. _"Show us the map."_

Harry dug through to the bottom of his trunk and removed a blank piece of parchment. The snakes were all but shaking with excitement. Raising his hand, he stated, "I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

Snippy looked at Snarky, an awed expression on his face, a tiny tear in one beady eye. _"Snarky, I am ashamed of us."_

_"How could we not think of that?"_ He shook his head.

****

* * *

Hermione forced herself to take, long deep breaths as she proceeded Professor Snape down the pathway. She had no idea what awaited her at the end of this walk but she was certain that she needed to get a grip on her fear in order to survive. Usually, Harry and Ron handled the deadly and dangerous portions of their adventures. She supplied information, spells, and potions. Frankly, she was appalled at this turn of events. She could steal potion ingredients with the best of them but she had no desire to die at eighteen. Not that she was a coward. She just had too much sense to place herself in this kind of situation.

Professor Snape surreptitiously rubbed her back between her shoulder blades where it was tied in a knot. His hand was gentle but insistent. She leaned into him, desperate for some comfort. Surprisingly enough, it helped immensely. She wasn't alone in this. She blew out another breath and her heart rate slowed down. She had unwittingly acquired another partner-in-crime. One who was a formidable wizard in his own rate. Together, they would get out of this.

Hermione was sufficiently calm enough to formulate a plan now. And that was her most formidable weapon. . .her mind. She'd heard Snape's insinuation earlier that they were involved. Under other circumstances, that information would have been alarming or annoying or. . .she didn't have time to examine her jumbled feelings right now. She knew that he had done so in order to offer her some protection. She was sure of it. Hermione might be able to use that too. Hmmm. . .

They reached the edge of the path. Hermione sucked in a breath as she saw the tall stone structures that formed a perfect circle. It closely resembled the artifacts at Stonehenge. However, this circle was intact and in near-perfect condition. Ancient symbols were etched on all of the stones which were at least fifteen or sixteen feet high. There was a large serpent coiled on a raised slab of marble in the center of the stones. Hermione thought it might be a boa constrictor. Her attention was distracted by a line of robed figures with torches marching up the next rise. They were shorter and possibly younger than these men. Junior Death Eaters. In the lead was a fair haired young man but she couldn't quite determine if it was Draco Malfoy or not.

"Lovely, isn't it?" Lucius asked proudly. "I can see by your face that you can see the likeness to another structure. This one's been protected by magic for centuries."

"Druids used it for their ceremonies," Severus explained. He watched her carefully and gratefully noted that she was much calmer now. They might get out of this yet.

"It's breathtaking," Hermione whispered. Terrible. . . but breathtaking. As they spoke, other Death Eaters began to file in, all on other stone paths that led to this center.

Lucius sauntered to the center. "Come, Death Eaters. Our Dark Lord sends word with me that he will join us later as he's attending to the next generation right now." They all laughed softly, clearly proud of their offspring. "We have much to do this night. But first . . . Severus has brought us a toy."

"No, I said I brought my toy," Severus said tightly.

Hermione briefly closed her eyes. She was about to give the performance of her life. Before she was through, Godric Gryffindor would be rolling in his tomb. "Severus said I could come with him because I was curious." Yep, she was calling him by his first name.

"Did he, then?" Lucius asked, his eyes were bright and cruel. "Let me see, what would Harry Potter's little friend be curious about at a Death Eaters meeting . . . let me think. " He broke off as the other members looked at her with contempt. "I think you're a spy for Dumbledore."

"Yes, of course I am," Hermione answered honestly. "As a matter of fact so is Severus." Then, she snorted in derision. "Professor Dumbledore is not a fool . . ." She glared at him. "Unlike some people."

"Aren't you going to do something?" Lucius asked Severus, his voice bordering on shrill. "She just-"

"Told the truth?" Severus, still standing behind her, smiled. "She's the best in her class."

"Really? Then she should have been smart enough to not come here."

Hermione strode forward and moved into the center of the circle. "I came here to join you."

Lucius threw back his head and laughed outright. "A sniveling little Mudblood wants to join our ranks?"

"She's a Slytherin now," Severus reminded him.

Hermione bore the insult well, even though it made her want to blast him with one of her dueling charms. "Don't get me wrong, I could care less what your aims are. That's not what interests me."

Lucius humored her. "And what does?"

"The magic," she answered. "The science of it. The opportunity to compose spells and mix potions that I would never get to under other circumstances."

"Yet, you have never shown an interest before now, except in circumventing our best laid plans." Lucius' eyes narrowed on her once more. It was almost believable. But, Snape? With a student?

Hermione discreetly took a deep breath. Merlin, here we go. She let a sly smile slink across her lips, leaned back suggestively against Snape, and let one hand climb up his chest to the back of his neck and languidly massage the muscles there. "I never had a way in until now."

Snape tried to force his muscles not to quake as she reclined against him, rippling her body across his own. He gave the crowd a sinful smirk and jerked her back against his hips. Leaning down to brush his lips across the top of her ear, he said, more than loud enough for the rest to hear, "Not now, my sweet. We have business to attend to." Then with an extra squeeze of reassurance and gratitude for her acting skills, he wrapped one arm around her waist, possessively keeping her close to him. "We'll play later."

"Alright, Severus. Why not? We'll take your word for now," Lucius acquiesced. "But you better make sure your-" He paused to sneer at Hermione. "-- little, personal endeavor pays off."

"It will, Malfoy. Just as well as yours." Snape affectionately ran the back of his hand down her cheek, and she shivered in response. Even he couldn't tell if she was acting, or if the shiver was genuine.

"In which case . . ." Lucius' smile gleamed as he played his last trump card. "She is attending the wrong meeting."

Hermione faltered. Would Snape allow him to send her away? Into a different place, where she would have to confront Junior Death Eaters and Voldemort, by herself? The older Malfoy approached her, reaching for her hand. "I'm sure it'll be a shame to mar that pretty skin with the Dark Mark. Do you think you're ready?"

Hermione pressed back into Snape, hoping that Lucius wouldn't touch her. At the last moment, the tall blond found himself facing Severus's wand. "What did I tell you about touching what's mine, Lucius?"

"Then, I suppose you should walk her over." Malfoy stepped back, but he wasn't ready to let go just yet. Something was off about them, he could smell it.

"Use your head, Malfoy," Snape spat. "I'm sure that your ego, you know that big grey thing floating around behind you, scaring small children and puppies, is probably getting in the way of your perception, but even you should know better." Lucius looked taken aback, and all Hermione could do was cling to Snape's arm, something that the other members were taking note of. "You're going to let her into that meeting, knowing who's there, before she has even met the Dark Lord? You want her to take a good look at every face around that fire on her first day?"

Lucius' mouth set in a tight line. "Well, I suppose I was just trusting your judgment, Severus."

"Don't waste your breath. You haven't trusted a soul since you were born." Snape snorted, bringing a small chuckle from the circle, that had just before then been too tense to move. "Trust my ability to find a superior intellect . . . and partner." He let innuendo slide through the term. "Let's see what she can do, before we let her take a look at all our little secrets, shall we?"

Malfoy nodded, and it was done. She was in, for the penny, the pound, the whole point of no return bit. He was about to continue the meeting when a man she recognized at Peter Pettigrew fumbled into the center of the circle. He put one rodent like hand on Malfoy's shoulder, and gripping his cloak, pulled him down to whisper in his ear. Malfoy nodded once and turned to the group. "It seems there has been a development. Our plans for tonight have been postponed. Those of you who have people in the other meeting may take them and Apparate." He looked around, meeting everyone's eye, but holding Snape's. He refused to look at Hermione. "And you, may take your 'toy' back home."

With that Malfoy swept from the circle, and walking with Pettigrew, went with the others, further into the woods. Snape removed his arm from her waist, grasped her hand a shade too tightly, and led her back down the stone path, away from the circle, away from the Death Eaters, back to where they had first Apparated. And Hermione knew for sure that they might be in the same spot, but they were in a whole different position.

****

* * *

Harry merely shook his head as one of the snakes lobbed a balloon at a flustered Rune. Snarky crowed in triumph as it hit the regal-looking eagle right on the tail feathers. She screeched with outrage and then whirled around from her perch high atop a flagpole. "How would you two like another one way trip to The Forbidden Forest?"

_"Save it, sister. You couldn't even get half way out there without noticing something you wanted to study,"_ Snippy drawled.

"I'm going to tell Professor Snape about this!" She threatened before she muttered, "As soon as I can find him."

"He's missing?" Harry asked curiously as he stepped around the corner.

She fluffed up her feathers, trying to shake off some of the potion. "So, you really are a Slytherin, aren't you? Helping the snakes coat other mascots in blue goo."

"It'll make your breath smell better," Harry offered by way of compensation. "Snape's really missing?"

"Yes," She hung her head. "He's always in his rooms at this time of night. He usually changes into a dressing gown, does some light reading, maybe a snack and-" She broke off when she noticed the looks of censure and shock she was receiving. "The point is that he's gone."

_"Sssssomeone's got a thing for . . . ewww. . .Snape."_ The snakes teased in unison. This was followed by a chorus of laughter.

_"Voyeur."_ Snarky teased.

_"You know, Snape's a bird lover, but I don't think he's a bird lover."_

"No one asked you, you scaly little cretins." She huffed. "Some birds eat snakes, you know?"

They glared at her silently.

Harry consulted the map. "Hey, he is missing!"

"What. An. Idiot." Rune's tone was waspish. "Didn't I just say that?"

"Hey, Draco is missing too!"

_"Uh oh, I think I know what they're doing."_ Snarky snickered. Harry's face contorted, half disbelief and half disgust.

_"Oh, Harry!"_ Snippy patted him on the back with his tail. _"Don't worry. Look on the bright side-he might be grateful to you for the blue goo bombing now!"_

"For the last time, I do NOT want Draco Malfoy!" Harry glared at the snakes and was about to state that he was also not concerned with anything of Draco's, gratitude or otherwise, when he realized that someone else was also missing from the map. "Hermione's gone, too!"

_"Well, I have to say that's a development that I didn't expect." _Snarky sniggered. _"No wonder she was so worried about changing his breath!"_

_"Snape sure is getting around. First the ssssex god, now Hiney!" _Snippy shook his head._ "Looks like you're the only Sssslytherin not invited to the shag party, Harry."_

Snarky slid around his neck, attempting to get closer to his face. His fork tongue flickered close to Harry's cheek. _"Maybe we should hit you with a little potion. Breathe a little! Let me see!"_

"Quit it!" Harry shrugged him roughly onto the floor. "I have to go find Hermione." He turned back toward the Slytherin Rooms. He needed his Firebolt.

_"Awwww. Harry's worried about Hiney. How sweet."_ Snippy shuddered. _"Anyone else feel slightly nauseous?"_

Snarky held up his tail to signal agreement.

Rune leapt in the air with a sneer of disgust at the snakes. She lit on Harry's shoulder. "You'll find Severus, as well, won't you?"

"Yes." Harry said shortly. "And if he or Malfoy harmed one hair on her head . . ."

"No need to sound so threatening. If she really is with the Professor," Rune looked doubtful. "He will protect her at all costs. He's the smart, noble type, really." The eagle sighed. "Which is why you have to find him, and save him . . .if he needs it."

"I thought you were the intelligent mascot." Harry rolled his eyes. He thought of all the trouble Snape had gotten him in, his past as a Death Eater, the night in the Shrieking Shack when he had let Peter Pettigrew get away, and what Harry had lost because of that. He had cost the Boy Who Lived the closest thing to living with a real father he would ever have had. "Snape is hardly worth saving."

"And I thought you were a brave Griffindor," she said imperiously as she nipped Harry lightly. "Heros don't judge who's worth saving."

Harry reached up and flicked some blue off a tail feather, muttering, "Thanks, Hermione."

"What was that?"

"Thanks, Rune." He took the advice to heart. She was right. That wasn't the kind of wizard he wanted to be, that he was expected to be.

"That's what I thought you said."

****

* * *

Hermione walked next to Professor Snape through The Forbidden Forest. He hadn't said a word since they left the meeting. She wasn't sure if he was just weary, angry (the more likely option), or had nothing to say. Her brain wasn't quite functioning as it should be. Random thoughts and feelings were pinging through her head.

Thoughts such as: Whoohooo! I'm alive! Yes! Yes! YES! I'm going home and I miss my bed. I'm kinda hungry. Malfoy Sr.'s nostrils flare when he talks. Wait 'til I tell Harry and Ron about this. Who's the hero now? Er, maybe that's heroine. Oh my God. . .I molested Professor Snape.

Woah, that last one was a problem. She had done it in the name of survival but it hadn't been that bad. In fact, it was quite good. And that was bad. Hermione shook her head. She was having quite a mind babble and she needed to concentrate. Things were bound to be uncomfortable between herself and Professor Snape after what happened. Figures. She was starting to almost like the man when she went and ruined it all. Not that she had any choice in the matter.

They had reached the grounds proper and passed by Hagrid's cabin. She thought longingly of the days when a homemade sweet, a cup of tea, and some sage advice from their old friend could shed light on a problem. At the very least, he provided comfort. However, she wasn't sure she could share this particular situation with him.

Luckily, they had encountered no one on their trek to the door. She and Snape entered and walked swiftly down the hall and over to Slytherin Tower. She started to go up the stairs to the dormitories when his hand on her arm forestalled her.

"Come to my rooms," he directed her quietly giving her a genuine smile.

"Oh, okay." So, he wasn't angry! She might even get a few House points out of this for bravery. Minus the ones for rule breaking of course.

"I have something . . . special to show you." He placed his hand on the small of her back as he guided her to his door. It was hard to believe she had stood here only a few hours earlier. So much had changed. She heard him release the wards on his rooms and he guided her through the entrance.

Hermione couldn't believe how warm and kind he was being. It was so unlike him. Hold up . . . something special. Oh . . . no . . . he wouldn't . . .? But she had been so forward. Hermione was flabbergasted. What if Professor Snape was really interested in her? Oooh! Hey, he thought she was pretty too. And that 'toy' comment had come from somewhere, right? What if he'd misread her act and thought she had issued him an invitation?

He proceeded down the hallway. She suspected that he was leading her to his bedroom. She gulped and followed him down the hall.

"At least Harry took care of his breath," she muttered.

****

* * *

Draco Malfoy trudged through the woods feeling older than when he had entered them. He was more exhausted than he ever remembered being, but his stride felt more full of purpose, of power. He moved through the eerie pines and swirling mist of The Forbidden Forest as if he could command the breeze that ruffled his hair, the shadows that coated every strand making them almost ebony, saturated with the night around him. The moist earth clung to his heels, weighing him down, but as he reached the edge of the wood, he never faltered or slowed.

Draco's eyes, used to constantly scanning his environment, settled on a figure against a tree, a silhouette. He paused and the figure separated from the tree, moving towards him. A beam of moon light haloed the man's hair, making it appear almost white. A stray breeze rustled past Draco to brush across the man's face and the moonbeam lit upon a jagged scar.

"Shouldn't you be tucked into your bed, safe and sound, Hero?" Malfoy asked, stepping closer.

"I could ask you the same question," Harry said, deadly serious. He turned and stepped out of the forest, completely into the light. "Why don't you step out here and have a little chat with me?"

Draco hesitated only for a second before following him. "Alright, Potter. What's your game? Do you have snakes out here, ready to smack me with some more colored goo?"

Harry's breath caught in his throat as Draco stepped out into the light. He stood, regally, legs spread, arms crossed over his broad chest, regarding Harry with calm eyes and a cool smirk. He was dressed, head to toe in black, but the most startling part was a long, formal cloak, hood thrown back recklessly. Was it . . . a Death Eater's cloak? There was a dangerous look to Malfoy as he stood there, a daring that called to Harry. Malfoy had never seemed safe to Harry. At this moment, Draco was venomous, deadly, surrounded with a malevolent storm of tension. He was powerful. Striking. Beautiful. Lethal. Harry was transfixed.

"And what were you up to Malfoy? A pleasant late-night stroll among the scenic, giant-spider infested woods?" Harry finally found his voice. "In a formal robe?"

"Checking up on me, Potter? That's considerate." His eyes glittered like ice. "But in case you've forgotten, I still have parents. There's really no need."

Harry flinched at the harsh implication. "Is that who you were out visiting? Your parents?" He scratched his chin. "Now, what could Lucius be up to in the woods in the middle of the night?"

"As much as I enjoy your company, Potter, I am rather tired, so if you don't mind. . ." He moved to step past the green-eyed boy.

Harry grabbed him, his hands fisting in the rich cloth of the cloak, crumpling it for a second, and he pulled Malfoy towards him. "As a matter of fact, I do mind. Why don't you stay a moment?" It was not a request. "Your life currently depends on how you answer my next two questions, so think carefully before answering." His face was so close to Draco's that Draco could feel Harry's breath across his lips as Harry snarled the words at him. "Have you seen Hermione?"

"Yes." Draco bit the words out, trying to retain the sense of power he had been feeling. He could still feel it running through his veins, but now it seemed to be reaching out to Harry, as if it saw somewhere to belong.

"Is she ok?"

"Yes. I saw her with Snape in the woods." Draco managed this a little easier. He looked into Harry's eyes, still smoldering like green flames, and Draco wondered briefly what it felt like to be under the protection of that emerald fire. He shrugged the thought away.

"Looks like you get to live a little longer." Harry let go of the cloak. It felt wrong to have crumpled it. His hands smoothed the fabric briefly, of their own volition. "You're going to help me look for Hermione."

"You really think you could take me, Potter?" Draco eyed him, feeling the purpose that had filled him returning. Besides, he had always been a clever, observant student, and he had seen the reverence in Harry's touch as he smoothed his cloak. "Or were you just looking for an excuse to grope my cloak?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Well, yes you are. But, I was commenting on how fixated you are on this cloak. Fancy it, do you?" Draco met his eyes. "Would you like to try it on?"

Yesssss . . . the thought hissed inside his mind, creating an image of him in the cloak, a white mask grasped in one hand, a wand in the other. Harry Potter. In Death Eater garb. "No, thank you, Draco. I don't happen to have any bleach on me at this point."

"Go back to your tower, Hero. Forget about Granger. Snape will take care of her. Play with your snakes, and pretend that you're good and brave. You don't belong out here." Malfoy stared steadily at him.

"You haven't answered my question yet." Harry crossed his arms over his chest, wishing briefly that he appeared half as imperious as Malfoy did when he was in that pose. "And I don't intend to leave until I'm satisfied."

"And I don't intend to be responsible for your satisfaction, Potter." Malfoy smirked, letting the innuendo entwine around the word. "Maybe I was meeting a girl for a little snog session, ever think of that?"

"Nice try." Harry didn't blink. "For one, a girl? Hermione wouldn't touch you, and she's the only girl missing. So unless you were snogging with Snape . . ." Harry took a moment to shudder. "For two, from what I've heard you never stop at just a snog session. Try again."

Draco frowned. He knew that he had developed quite a reputation. There were few people in his year in Slytherin he hadn't slept with, male or female. But where was Potter getting his information? He would have to look into that later. "Why don't you pretend to be a man and just ask me?"

"Why don't you pretend to be one and just tell me?" Harry shot back.

Draco stepped forward, placing one hand on Harry's chest and pushed him back against a tree. "Trust me, Potter. I'm more than man enough to handle you."

Harry couldn't help the shiver that went through his body at the resolved purpose in Malfoy's movements. "And how exactly are you planning to handle me, Malfoy? Been learning new tricks while you were out tonight?"

Draco stepped forward, his hand remaining on Harry's chest, his arm bent between them, their noses almost touching. "Exactly what are you accusing me of?"

As they stood there, Harry formed a picture of what they must look like in the shadows. The hero and the villain. Black and White. _Symmetry_. Harry wondered if Draco was capable of what Harry was implying. Wondered if his life was in peril now, if he was underestimating his opponent. The thought sent wonderful chills through him, and his nerves started to quake. Harry was in love with danger, with dancing on the ragged edge of death. Draco personified danger, in his reaper like cloak. "I'm accusing you of coming back from a secret meeting. One that required Apparation. One that requires cloaks and masks and learning little two word curses-"

Harry felt the tip of Draco's wand dig into his jaw. Harry had never even felt Draco tense his muscles as he had reached for it. Draco leaned forward, the silk of his blond hair caressing Harry's scar even as Draco's lips brushed Harry's ear as the Prince of Slytherin whispered, "What two words would that be, Harry?"

The thought of Draco whispering the words, so close to Harry, was sending adrenaline through Harry's body. The sound of his first name on the other's lips for perhaps the first time vibrated over his taught nerves. He met Malfoy's eyes. "You know what two words."

"Avada-" Draco's voice was cut off as Harry's hand clamped over his mouth.

"Don't." Harry pulled his hand back as Draco sharply bit him and wiped it on his pants to soothe the sting. "What are you doing?"

Draco shook his head, trying to hide the tremble that was threatening to overtake him. "Living up to your expectations."

"Welcome to my life," Harry murmured, not intending to be heard. Draco looked up sharply, struck by the darkness in Harry's words, but before he could say something, do something about it, Harry leaned his head back and pushed at him away. "C'mon, I want to see if Hermione's back yet. And don't think I'm done with you, Malfoy. Because we are far from done here."

"I wasn't . . ." Draco stepped back, a little shocked at how close they had gotten, how wrapped up in their little confrontation he had become. He could feel the warmth radiating off of the Boy Who Lived. "I wasn't casting the curse, Ha- Potter. I wasn't trying to kill you."

"I . . . I know that." Harry sighed. "It's just painful to hear."

"Painful, Hero? I don't think so." Malfoy laughed harshly, turning to walk toward the gray towers of Hogwarts.

"What do you mean by that?" Harry fell into step with him, considering the taller boy with guarded curiosity.

"I mean that you were afraid you would enjoy it." Draco regarded him with a marked intensity, his slow drawl scraping across Harry's nerves.

"Enjoy what?" Harry stopped walking, his tone exasperated.

Draco's smirk flowed insinuatingly across his face. "The _danger_. The _power_."

"You're twisted, Malfoy." He moved to turn away, and Draco caught Harry's chin in a steely grip, forcing the meeting of their eyes.

"You can lie to your adoring public, lie to the Weasley's, the mudblood, even lie to yourself, Potter. But you can't lie to me."

"No?"

"I've been watching." He fixed Harry with a look that froze him to the marrow of his bones. "I've been watching you, and I know what you really _are_, what you _really_ want."

"Do you?" Harry wasn't so sure he knew himself. He was shaking now, and he couldn't pretend it was the early autumn night air. "Care to enlighten me?"

"Some other time."

"Why should I listen to you? You're known for your manipulation and . . . and . . ." And a brutally candid perception for judging people's character. Draco often used that brutality to verbally eviscerate people. He was cruel. But not usually a liar. Not since he was little.

"And honesty. I don't have to lie, Hero. The truth is much more painful."

"So I should listen to you because you want to hurt me?" Harry tried to twist away, but Draco's grip was too strong.

"Yes. I'll make you this promise, Potter. Whatever else you expect from me, I'll never lie to you." Harry continued to watch him with suspicion. Draco sighed and released him. They walked in silence through the doors to the Great Hall. They had arrived at the top of the stairs when Draco reached out and stopped Harry on the very top step. "I'm not a Death Eater, Potter."

"Yet." Harry's eyes narrowed.

"There. That's the answer to the question you won't ask, isn't it?" Draco's eyes flashed with frustration. "Now, I'm sure Snape's taking care of Granger, so could we just go to bed?" Harry's eyebrow shot up. "Separately, Potter. Stop trying to get into my pants."

"You'll give me your word that you saw Hermione and she's fine?" Harry's eyes held a calculating gleam that Draco felt shouldn't be there. And then Harry held out his hand, an echo of their first year reverberating through the school.

"Yes." And Draco put his hand in Harry's. For a second, their hands entwined, they stared into each other's eyes, a flash of what might have been had Harry done what Draco just had seven long years ago. Then, Harry's grip tightened, and his other hand shot out to grasp the sleeve of the black robe and push it up. He looked down, almost afraid of what he would see. The pale skin was unmarred, there was no Dark Mark. His hand slid slowly back down to Malfoy's wrist, lightly gliding along his bare skin, reassuring himself that there was nothing there with his fingertips. Draco met his eyes, looking oddly hurt. "Is this Gryffindor trust?"

"No." Harry felt a little ashamed. Still, he'd be damned before he'd admit remorse to a Malfoy. "That's reserved for those worthy of it."

"Strange. Wouldn't expect a hero to judge who is worthy." Malfoy's grip loosened and Harry realized that he was still holding his hand. Quickly he dropped it.

Malfoy turned and strode away, not giving in to the temptation to look back, leaving Harry alone with the words, an echo of Rune's, ringing inside his head long after he had walked back to the Slytherin Common Room and checked the Marauder's Map to affirm that Hermione was indeed back inside the castle and in the company of Snape. But, by the time he was back in bed, the words had left him. Instead, he cradled the hurt look in Malfoy's eyes close to him, even as he tried to warm his hand from the chill clinging to it ever since he had dropped Draco's hand, and fell asleep trying to block out the image of Malfoy in the light of the moon draped in that deadly cloak, refusing to ask the questions that tried to flood his mind.

****

* * *

Severus swung open the door to his bedroom. "Lumos Alight!" Several wall sconces and candelabras filled with candles burst into flame. The room was dominated by a large wrought iron bed which was draped in red linens. It had an Eastern flare. There were two framed pictures scripted with Chinese lettering. A couple of bonsai trees were on the floor in red urns. There were several apothecary cabinets then held interesting potions and powders no doubt.

Severus waved her further into the room. "I'm about to show you something I've never shown anyone at Hogwarts."

Hermione's eyes rounded. "You are?"

"Well, after what we did tonight, I knew you had to see it . . .my special place." His lips curved into a small smile. "I call it My Tibet."

"It has a name?" She asked, appalled.

"Of course it does!" He held out his hand. "Come here, I want you to touch it."

"Oh my God!" She shrieked.

He looked puzzled. "You've never seen one before? Because I assure you, it's quite safe."

"Uh well, of course I have. There was this one time, when I-"

"I'd wager mine is bigger than any you've had your hands on."

Hermione was flustered. "Uh, I really don't think that's it's any of my business." He held out his hand. "Come here. I promise, it won't bite."

"I don't want to," she said stubbornly, glaring at him. "And I'm going to tell Dum-"

Snape shook his head. Perhaps this evening had taken a toll on the poor thing's mental faculties. Well, all the more reason to share this with her. "Revealez!"

Under Hermione's feet, the ground shifted until it became smooth and then sandy. It eventually flooded the entire room with four inches of sand. The furniture had disappeared along with the flooring and ceiling. Above their heads was a tranquil blue sky. Boulder-size polished stones were set in small groupings throughout the room by wicker rakes . . . a life-size Zen Garden.

"Ohhhhh . . . you wanted to show me your sand box." She felt light headed. "Well, that makes more sense."

"Zen Garden," he corrected. He continued staring at ther with that curious expression as he asked, "Didn't I say so? I thought you might be able to use it to gather your thoughts and quiet your nerves sometime."

She started to laugh. Large hiccoughing belly-laughs as she bent over and held her sides. "I thought. . .I thought. . .I thought. . .you wanted me. . .to . . ."

"You are a very strange young woman." He had no idea what she was talking about.

She wiped the tears of laughter that had fallen from her eyes. "I could say the same for you, but not the young and female part. Obviously." She grinned. "Thank you so much for showing this to me. I'd love to use it."

"Anytime you wish," he promised. "I think it best that you be getting to bed. You've had a long night."

"I know. Thanks, Professor-"

"Please call me Severus." He hesitated briefly. "Hermione. When we're alone, of course." Then, he smirked showing a row of white teeth. "After all, the Dark Wizarding World thinks we're sleeping together. Being formal once more would be senseless."

"Alright, Severus." She smiled at him.

"I thought you would be much more upset than you are."

"Are you kidding? I'm alive!" Then, she sighed. "And you know, this being in peril thing happens all the time. I'm used to it by now."

"Yes, quite." He stared at her, deadpan. " Good night, then."

"Good night Pr-" She stopped herself. "Severus." She turned and started to leave.

"What? No good night kiss?" His face was enigmatic.

Hermione nearly tripped over a stone.


	8. Great Big Stones

**TITLE:** Trading Spaces 8

**RATING:** R (slash warning m/m)

**PAIRING:** HG/SS, HP/DM, HP/HG (friendship)

**Author's Note: **There's a line in there that belongs to Joss Whedon and his team of godlike writers. If you don't know who Joss Whedon is, or recognize the line, don't worry about it.

**Chapter Eight: Great Big Stones**

****

* * *

Harry was awakened by the dip of his bed as a body landed on it. Suddenly he was being shaken a little too vigorously. Lifting his head from his pillow, he groaned. "Hermione?"

"I had to talk to him, so I went down to his rooms. And there he was!" She was seated criss-cross next to him, and bounced a little as she talked.

"Who?"

"Snape. Pay attention!" She gave him a stern look, and continued her story with much gesticulation. "And he was in robes, well of course he was in robes, I would hardly be seeing him without them would I?"

"Hermione! I haven't had breakfast yet, no talk of robeless Snape this early!" As an afterthought while he propped a pillow behind his head, he added, "Or ever . . ."

"Of course I wouldn't. But he was wearing . . . it was big and it was billowy and silvery! How'd he make them so shiny? Maybe it was a potion." She frowned a bit. "Then, I followed him outside, to see him off, y'know. And then - he was gone! Just gone! And there was this moving bush and I jumped away and there he was! The back of him-"

"Umm, are you actually talking about Snape's backside-"

"Stop interrupting!" Hermione shushed him. "And then there was a whooosh and I was gone! And he was there, and I was there." She took in a great breath. "And he was all like 'leave now!' and I was all like 'I can't' and he was like 'you must!' with the anger and impatience and I was like 'shut up, you're not helping!' and then Malfoy was there -"

"Draco-"

"Lucius." Her eyes widened as she looked at him. "And then he was like 'don't touch my toy' and Malfoy was all creepy and smarmy and I was like 'yeah! don't touch me'-"

"Toy?"

"Yes! Exactly! How weird is that? And then I looked back and Lucius was hugging some guy and Snape was all 'don't look back' with the dark and ominous tones, and then he was rubbing my back, which was y'know-" She shrugged and smiled. "Kinda nice. And then we were -" She made a complicated gesture with her hands that he wasn't sure how to interpret. "And he was-" She made a face. "And there were stones, Harry! Great big stones!"

"Have you been hanging out with Hazelheart?" Harry crossed his arms over his chest, his rumpled hair falling in his eyes. She was speaking so quickly he felt sure she was going to suffocate and she wasn't making a whole lot of sense in her rapid excitement. "Did you have espresso again? We talked about that."

Hermione pretended that she hadn't heard him, continuing quickly with her description of what happened. "And I was all 'I've come here to join you!' and Lucius was all like 'yeah right' and then I had to molest Snape to prove I wanted to be a dark witch - "

"I'm guessing that's not their standard initiation procedure, because you'd think there would be a lot less death eaters . . ." Harry mumbled.

"And Lucius was all like 'it'll be a shame to put the dark mark on you' and then I was all afraid and he tried to touch me again and Snape was all like 'stop that or I'll hex you' and Lucius was all like 'this is the adult meeting, she can't be here' and Snape was all 'let's not trust her except in the sack' and then-"

"Breathe, Hermione! Breathe!" She was beginning to turn purple, so Harry took her by the shoulders and gave her a gentle shake.

Hermione took a few deep breaths. "Then Pettigrew was there and he told Lucius something, and we all had to leave and then we walked away and we were back here again and Snape was all quiet, and I was all 'woo-hoo! I'm alive and kinda hungry' and then I tried to go to bed, but Snape took me to his room! And I was all like 'uh-oh, shouldn't have molested him, death eaters or no death eaters' and he was all like, 'come into my room, I have something special to show you that I've never shown anyone before' and I was all like, 'I'm about to see more of Professor Snape than I'd ever thought I would' and he was all like 'mine's the biggest' and I-"

"Woah, woah, woah. Hermione, if you tell me that Snape tried to sleep with you-" Harry closed his eyes, willing his mind not to make any mental pictures that might scar him for life.

"No, he wanted me to see his sand box," She said as if Harry should have known that. Finally, she fell back on his bed, dragging in great breaths. After a moment or two, she pushed her hair out of her face and looked up at him. "So, what'd you do last night?"

"Nothing." Harry said quickly, not exactly sure why he didn't tell her. He told Hermione everything. "Played paintpotion."

_"Liar, liar, broomstick on fire!"_ Snippy crept from under his bed. _"We're not sure where you were-"_

_"But you weren't with usssss, Harry,"_ hissed Snarky sliding down from his canopy. _"Lying to Hiney. Are you certain the Boring Hat put you in the right house?"_

_"Now, if he wasn't with us . . . who was he with?"_ Snippy eyed Harry suspiciously as he curled up into a coil next to Hermione. _"Well, we know Snape was with Hermione."_

_"Hmm, who else was misssssing?"_ Snarky pretended to consider this. _"Oh yeah . . .Malfoy . . ."_

Harry tried not blush, grateful that Hermione couldn't speak parseltongue. He hissed furiously at them, _"Not in the way you think."_

_"Then why didn't you tell Medusa?" _Snippy smirked.

_"We were just talking, that's all,"_ Harry insisted.

_"Interesting way to put it,"_ Snarky commented. Harry glared at them. _"You mean to tell me that he didn't try to snog you? Not once?"_

Harry's mind flashed to the fight with Malfoy, recalling how Draco had pushed Harry back against a tree, staying up in his face, his breath feathering across Harry's skin. He felt a flush rise up his neck. If anyone had seen that, it would have looked like anything but an argument. Hell, if it had been anyone but Malfoy, he might have interpreted it differently. Finally, ignoring the confusion that was spreading through him, he murmured, _"Not once."_

Hermione was watching him with a curious gaze that was slightly unnerving. "Harry, is there something that you're not telling me?"

"No, I . . ."Harry stared at a place on the wall behind her head. "I was out looking for you. I saw that you were missing on my map and I got worried."

"Oh, Harry!" She hugged him quickly. "That's so sweet."

Trying not to feel guilty or hear the snickering of two serpentine voices, he hurried her out of his room so he could get dressed and they could go get some breakfast.

_"Harry, Harry, Harry . . .shame, shame, shame . . ."_ Snippy shook his head. "_Lying, mysterious meetings, next thing you know he'll be drinking and gambling, having anonymous sex . . ."_

_"Ah, Harry."_ Snarky nestled around his neck. _"We're so proud of you."_

"What's wrong with you two? You're never this pleasant this early." Harry grumbled as he pulled on his pants and reached for his shirt.

_"Filch just gave us a present."_ Snippy smiled.

"Gave?" Harry raised an eyebrow.

_"Given, stolen, whatever! The important thing is we just got a new CD,"_ Snarky announced proudly, nudging a silver disc towards Harry. In a few short days, Harry had been made to understand their obsession with Muggle music, particularly any of the American variety. He shuddered as he remembered their all-night Britney Spears serenade. Of course, muggle CD's were completely restricted, and most students didn't have the machines required to play them anyway. Still, some were inevitably snuck in and whenever he could, Filch found and confiscated them. Well, whenever they could, the snakes snuck into his office and liberated them for their own personal use. After all, they had a stereo all tucked away in Slytherin House. They might as well make use of it.

Harry picked up the disk, turning it over. On it were written the words 'compilation - my favorites'. He tossed it back on the bed and stopped to glance in the mirror. The Slytherin green in his new uniforms actually complemented his eyes, but he would never admit it. "I have to get going."

_"Yes, wouldn't want to keep Hiney waiting, would you?"_ Snippy snickered.

_"Give Draco a good morning kiss- oopsss, I meant 'hiss' for uss, won't you, Harry?"_ The Snakes laughter followed him down the stairs. Harry wondered if Draco would be at breakfast for a second, then convinced himself that he didn't really care as he ran a hand through his hair.

****

* * *

"And where have you been? I was worried sick about you!" Rune flapped her wings in irritation as she perched on the rim of the largest cauldron in the potions classroom.

"I am not explaining my nocturnal activities to a self-important chicken." Snape glared at the bird. Looking closer, he realized that she had somehow acquired a set of black robes her size and appeared to be clutching a . . . grading scroll?

"A - a - self-important what?" She screeched. "This from a greasy specimen of evolved monkey!"

"I can see how worried you were!" He snatched the scroll away from her. "All ready to play Professor, were we, Rune?"

"I was simply making sure that your class was covered." She sniffed, looking hurt. "I didn't want you to get in trouble, or for your students to fall behind if something had happened. I sent Harry after you."

Rune had sent Harry! Snape frowned. What exactly had Mr. Potter seen? He turned softer eyes on the eagle, who appeared insulted and stung at the same time. He sighed. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."Her voice held a distinct pout, but was warmer.

He walked into his personal office, feeling a familiar weariness settling in. Seating himself in a wing back chair, he leaned his head back and considered the situation. His heart had about stopped in his chest when he felt something bump into him as he Apparated last night. It had quickly jump-started when he realized that person was Hermione. He had been absolutely certain that it was all over when he heard Malfoy's voice. He was going to have to expose himself as a spy or sacrifice Hermione, but she had pulled herself together, keeping her wits about her and somehow they had managed to pull their little act off. He was actually impressed with her performance at the circle.

Snape chuckled to himself. To be honest, if Malfoy had tried to touch him, he probably would have given a girlish shriek and ran the other way. He needed to speak to Dumbledore immediately, Hermione was trapped now, she would have to become a spy.

Snape's eyes turned to Rune who had followed him in the room and was now perching on his mantle. In many ways, that bird was the bane of his existence. Incredibly smart, a little over eager and always wanting to help him. Damn. What if Potter had seen . . . well, there was no use speculating on that right now. He needed to talk to Draco and make sure that he was alright. "Would you do me a favor and locate Mr. Malfoy for me? I'm afraid I need to speak to him as soon as possible."

"Of course, Severus." She seemed pleased to be able to help.

"Rune?"

"Yes, Severus?" She turned to look at him, trying to appear as stately as possible.

"You don't really think I'm greasy, do you?"

****

* * *

Hermione took a sip of pumpkin juice, surreptitiously studying Draco over the tip of her glass. He was seated at the Gryffindor table, ignoring Pansy and glaring at his breakfast. Was he the blond that she had seen with Lucius last night? She decided to try and catch him alone later and see what she could find out. Maybe she would visit Griff-gruff. She looked over to ask Harry to pass her some salt. "Harry?"

Harry didn't hear her. Following his gaze, she found herself once again looking at Draco. Harry's look was one of deep concentration, a little wrinkle appearing in his forehead.

"HARRY!"

He jumped so high that he hit his knee on the table. Clutching the injury, he turned annoyed eyes to her. "What?"

"Why are you staring at Draco Malfoy?" She arched a brow at him.

"I don't know." He offered her a grin. "Lost in thought, I guess."

She knew he was lying by the way he met her eyes, and kept his expression casual. Harry had become a little too competent at lying lately. Hermione was about to question him further, she was sure that there was more to last night that he wasn't revealing, but became momentarily distracted when Professor Snape swept into the room, Rune flying in above his head. While the golden eagle made her way to Professor Dumbledore and perched on the back of his chair, Snape strode over to the Gryffindor table. Hermione wondered if she should write this down as a historic event.

When Snape stopped behind Draco, Harry snapped to attention, narrowing his eyes and watching as avidly as Hermione. Snape put a hand on his shoulder, and the former Slytherin looked up into his face and smiled. Harry's breath caught. Thinking back over the years, he was fairly certain he had never seen Draco genuinely smile at anything. His facial expressions usually stayed in the sneering or indifferent categories. However, in the next moment the smile slid into a self-assured smirk. Malfoy appeared to be listening intently to what Snape was saying. Then he reached up, covering the hand on his shoulder with one of his own for a second and nodded. Snape turned and headed to the high table once more.

"What do you suppose that was about?" Harry asked. Hermione shook her head, her eyes following Snape until he sat down. For a moment, Snape caught her eye and his lips twitched in what might have been the start of a knowing smile. She looked down quickly.

"I'm not sure." She pursed her lips and didn't say anything more for the rest of breakfast, but her intention to find out rang clearly in Harry's mind. "In any case, I'll be working with Snape again today. What are you going to do?"

"I was thinking I would head down to the Quidditch Pitch. Fly a bit, blow off some steam, work out some moves for the coming season . . ." Harry trailed off, looking slightly upset. "I just realized, I'm going to have to fly with Slytherin's team."

"Cheer up, Harry. You also get to fly with Gryffindor half the time."

"I guess." He bit back a laugh. "So what you're saying is-"

"The glass is either half Gryffindor or half Slytherin." Hermione grinned at him. He was one of the few who got her Muggle-jokes, and even laughed at them no matter how cheesy they were. Harry got up, touching her shoulder in parting and headed out the main doors to go find his broom. Hermione, absently watching him leave, saw Draco's eyes follow him out of the room. Malfoy waited a good five minutes, though he appeared to be finished, before standing and moving to exit the room.

"Looks like it's time to pay a visit to good old Gryffindor." Hermione smiled tightly as she picked up a small pitcher of cream. It wouldn't do to visit Griff-gruff without a little present.

****

* * *

Professor Sprout cast a furtive glance around before shutting the door to her private greenhouse. She smiled and gave her companion a thumbs-up. "All clear."

"Groo-oovy." Hazelheart smiled back at her, settling in one of two lawn chairs towards the back of the structure. "D'you get the stuff?"

She nodded. "D'you get the snacks?"

Hazel smiled, tilting his head to indicate a basket stuffed with food that the house elves had given him. "The new Muggle Studies instructor requested we order some new stuff, too. Told the elves that we'd appreciate it." The badger pulled out a bag that crinkled. "These are called . . . Doritos." Looking confused, he added, "He also said something about running for a border, but I think maybe the house elves lost something in the translation."

Sprout grinned as she bustled toward a set of drawers behind the lawn chairs. "Sounds good. You're going to love what I got us . . ." Suddenly her sunny countenance clouded over. "I could have sworn I put it right here."

"It's gone?" Hazel's voice sounded like his heart was breaking. "Are you sure you didn't just put it somewhere else?"

"I'm sure . . . oh, Hazel, what if someone took it?" Sprout nibbled on her bottom lip, rechecking her possessions.

"But who would do such a thing?" The mascot looked horrified.

"I would!" A voice announced from the opposite corner. "And you want to know why? Because I'm evil!"

And the book sprang out, dangling a baggie from one cover. It ran past the professor and the badger, escaping out the front door.

"I guess this means I have to get up now." Hazel sighed. "Dude. I hate that book."

****

* * *

"Draconus." The Fat Lady smiled at Hermione as the Gryffindor portrait slid open. She walked into her old home muttering, "Really Malfoy. You couldn't think of something more original to change it to? Why not 'Slytherin rules' or 'Death-Eaters Anonymous'?"

"Talking to yourself, Granger? I can't say I blame you. If Potter and Weasley were my only conversational partners, I'd talk to myself, too." The cold drawl was slow and mocking. Scanning the room, she found Malfoy sprawled in what used to be her favorite reading spot, in the corner of the window seat. She crossed her arms over her chest, quirking an eyebrow. "I give up. What can I do for you, Granger?"

"From what I've heard, nothing." She smirked. In the past, Malfoy had always been able to fluster her. Now she rarely cried, or even blushed, and never took his comments too seriously. But there was still a bushy-haired girl with big teeth and hurt feelings that compelled her to verbally jab at him.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" He sat up a little straighter.

"Well, you're hardly known for pleasing the ladies, are you?" Griff-gruff pointed out as he sauntered into the room. "Hermione, hello!"

Hermione made her way over to a chair across from Malfoy, and as she sat, the griffin hopped up into her lap. She gently ran her fingers through his fur. "Hello, Griff-gruff."

"What'd you bring me?" The mascot demanded as he leaned into her touch.

"Cream." She nodded towards the pitcher she had set down by his chair.

Draco watched the scene with growing irritation. "Hey, why don't you ever want me to pet you?"

"Pet me? I just met you." Griff-gruff looked disgusted. "Stop trying to get your hands on me. The least you could do is buy me a drink or something first."

Draco sighed. He stood up to go to his room. "Enjoy your visit."

"That was sincere." Griff-gruff snorted, before leaving them to their conversation.

"Malfoy! Wait a minute." Hermione's voice stopped him.

"What is it, Granger? I'm tired."

"Well, I would imagine you would be. Wondering around the woods at all hours of the night. Apparating. Disapparating. Keeping your shiny black cloak squeaky clean . . ."

Draco's heart stopped beating and came back to life with hammering force. His face remained a cool mask. "I'm not sure I get what you mean."

"I saw you." Those three words had the impact of ten Whomping Trees.

"Saw me what? Walking around the grounds? That's hardly a crime," he pointed out, forcing himself to breathe.

"Saw you with your father. In a death-eater's mask," she said it slowly, with absolute certainty, her eyes locked on his.

"And how did you see that?" Draco was struggling to keep his composure. This was a serious development. He could not believe he had been spotted during his first secret meeting. How was he supposed to pull this off if he was caught on his first try? He stared at Hermione, trying to sort out an excuse, any excuse.

"I was there."

Draco crossed his arms over his chest, standing over her chair, suspicion written all over his face. "And just what were you doing there?"

Of all the responses he had expected, the one that was forthcoming was not one of them. Not nearly. Not by half. She could have stood up, transfigured him into a sombrero and done the Mexican Hat Dance on his head, and he would have been less surprised.

Hermione stood up, looked him in the eye, and smiling a smirk of pure sinful wickedness, whispered, "Joining the team."

****

* * *

Harry clutched his broom in his hand as he walked about the grounds. Hogwarts had been his home since he had first set foot here, and now memories were flooding over him. He lost himself in the past for a moment. Here was a land of mystery and adventure, where he was someone who mattered, someone people loved. Of course, there were a few who didn't hold with that last sentiment. Snape. Malfoy. The whole of Slytherin House. Cho Chang. That last one hurt. She had never said outright that she blamed him for Cedric, but then she didn't have to. He could see it in her eyes. And she wasn't the only one.

Harry had come back and Cedric hadn't, and that was enough for some people to hate him. At night, in his dreams, he saw the whole thing over and over again. But these were no nightmares. In them, Harry was transfixed by the beauty of the Death Curse. His lips itched to say the words he had not permitted Malfoy to say. Other words came back to him. _"I've been watching you, and I know what you really are, what you really want."_ Malfoy. Harry refused to listen to the words that echoed in his ears. The force of his will was stronger than the dark thoughts and dreams that plagued him lately. Harry was the Boy Who Lived, and he was determined to keep it that way. He made up his mind that he needed to have another confrontation with Malfoy. Tonight. When they went on patrol. And hopefully, the snakes wouldn't notice how long it would take him.

Something brushed past him, stirring him from his musings. Looking down, he found Hazelheart flat on his back next to his shoes. "Woah, Harry! You almost, like, walked right on me."

"What are you doing out here, Hazel?" Harry smiled, bemused.

"Dude, it is so not my day." The badger shook his head sadly. "The evil book ran away with my new herbs. I've been looking for it for like an hour now . . ."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Hazel." Harry covered a smile. "Tell you what, I'll keep an eye out for it while I'm flying."

"Thanks man." Haze started to stumble off.

"Hey, Hazel!" The mascot looked up. "Just be careful. Too many herbs are bad for you." Harry jumped onto his broom and ascended to the clear sky, trying to shake off the weight of the ground below.

Hazelheart started to make his way back to Professor Sprout to announce his lack of success, when he saw the book, creeping along the edge of the forbidden forest. "Hey, you! Evil guy!"

"Yes?" The book called, sounding uncertain. It stepped closer. "Are you talking to me?" Then it seemed to puff up its pages. "Of course you are! I am the Blackest Magic-"

"Ever. Dude, yes, I know. I get it." Hazel sat down. "Would you give me back my stuff now?"

The book turned an appraising eye on him. "You really think I'm an evil guy?"

"Yes, man. What you just did was so wrong . . . I can't even describe it."

"And this stuff is bad, you say?" The book stepped even closer, now holding the baggie before him and re-examining its contents.

"Well, I don't think-" Hazel paused, his eyes slowly lighting up with an idea. "Why, yes. It is." He scrunched his face up. "Really bad."

****

* * *

Draco gazed at Hermione. Wait . . . she didn't just say what I think she did, did she? "I wasn't aware they allowed mudbloods on the team."

"Well, I am a Slytherin," she pointed out, touching a finger to the House coat of arms on her robe. "And I'm in the top of my class. I have _talent_, where some of us only have pure blood."

He turned calculating eyes on her. "Care to tell me how you got there."

"Severus took me." Hermione smiled as Malfoy's eyes darkened.

"And why would he do that?" Draco added mentally, _without telling me?_

"You know, Draco - may I call you Draco?" She settled back in her chair.

"I'd rather you didn't," He sneered.

"Pettiness does not become you. You know, Draco, you really need to practice your secrecy skills." He couldn't help but feel that she should be stroking a long, thin mustache. "For one, you just told me that Snape was definitely at a Death Eaters meeting."

"I did not!"

"You did, too," she insisted. "I said Severus took me, and you asked why he would, when you should have insisted that you had no idea he was involved in such things." Hermione grinned. "I am _so_ better at being evil than you are, Pureblood."

"Hardly. You don't know what you're getting into, Granger." His tone held a warning she had not anticipated. "The kind of things I've seen would give you nightmares."

"Well, I would suppose so. After all, you're the one sharing showers with Slytherin." Inwardly, she shook a little. He had looked so much like his father right then. "We're not really going to sit here and argue about who's more evil are we?"

"No. Maybe I should concede the point to you." When she raised her eyebrow, he smirked. "You're the one betraying your friends."

"I'm the one with friends to betray," Hermione pointed out, her voice colder than he had ever heard it.

Malfoy sat down, in what Hermione would later describe as a 'huff'. "You still didn't answer my question. Why did _Severus_ take you there?"

Hermione pulled herself together, trying to slip into the persona she had worn last night. "Let's just say," Her mouth stretched in a lazy smile. "That I _persuaded_ him."

"What are you implying?" Draco couldn't believe his ears.

"Well, let me put it this way. Your Potions Master has a new favorite student."

"You're telling me you're the 'Teacher's Pet?'"

"Did you just make air quotes?" She asked incredulously. Then, quickly added, trying to perfect her use of innuendo, "In more ways than one."

"I think I'm going to vomit." Draco pressed a hand to his forehead. Maybe this was what Snape had meant when he had said there was a development this morning."What if I said I don't believe you? I mean, I saw you with Snape at Hogwarts last night. You might have been wondering around and he caught you!"

"Come away from the denial, Draco." For some reason, it tickled her to call him by his first name. "Ask Harry, he'll tell you I wasn't in my room last night."

"I know, he was looking for you," Draco replied absentmindedly.

"You talked to Harry last night?" Hermione frowned. "He didn't mention that."

"Looks like you're not the only one keeping secrets, Granger." Draco's eyes flashed. Why was Harry keeping their little conversation a secret? He looked back at the girl in front of him, scoffing, "So, you're expecting me to believe that you spent the night with Snape?" She just nodded. "Prove it."

"And how am I supposed to do that?" She tried to think of something that didn't involve performing very private acts in public. Her eyes lit up with an idea. "We were in his Zen Garden."

"He let you see his Tibet?" Draco sounded almost sad or jealous. "He never let me see it."

"Hopefully that's because you weren't sleeping with him." She smirked.

"Not at that time, no," he murmured. Hermione fell off her chair. Laughing, he extended a hand to her and helped her up. "I am so more evil than you, Mudblood."

****

* * *

Harry spun through the sky, diving, practicing his feints and dives at ever increasing speeds. Over his years at Hogwarts, many had tried to describe Harry and how he flew, from Colin Creevey to crushing first year girls. It was a dance, a game. He was graceful, powerful, poetry on a broomstick. All were adequate descriptions, as descriptions went, but none of them managed to capture the truth. It was almost more like ice skating, the power and strength in the motion juxtaposed to the grace and delicacy of the movements. Many Quidditch players flew as if the sky owned them. Harry flew as if he owned the sky.

High above the ground, Harry found himself able to think more clearly. Yet, he could not dismiss the image of Draco Malfoy in Death Eater's garb from his mind. His mouth set in tight lines. He should let this go. Nearly everyone at Hogwarts thought Malfoy had joined the Dark Wizards, so why was he so upset by this? The unmarred forearm flashed before his eyes. He needed to know the truth, it was becoming an obsession. Somehow, his hate had always connected him to Malfoy, their fights, their meetings from first to last, held the heavy ring of fate.

This morning, his intentions had been to confront Malfoy again, provoke him and see if he could find anything out. But now a new plan was insidiously creeping into his mind. He was definitely spending too much time in Slytherin House. He landed swiftly, and headed back to the castle for a shower. In his head echoed the only words of advice Snippy and Snarky had offered him about surviving the term in the Serpent's Den. "Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer."

****

* * *

Lockhart's book was lounging on the grass next to Hazelheart. They were under a cloud of pink smoke and feeling very relaxed. Professor Sprout had left them earlier to 'tend to all the swirly flowers.' "I'm evil on a whole new level. I'm expanding my thoughts, my whole evil capacity."

"That's right. It expands the mind," Haze agreed.

"Hey, I think my chapters are expanding. I'm getting bigger! "

"That might be the Doritos." Haze patted his own soft stomach. His paws were covered in bright orange crumbs. "I need to get some more of those. And a taco."

Gilderoy's picture had the crumbs all around his mouth. He, too, lay on the grass. His face was plastered with a silly smile and he kept flashing a peace sign. "An evil taco?"

"Dude, tacos are only evil on the way out."

"Huh?" The book asked.

"You'll see." Haze started to giggle.

Just then, a pair of boots came into view. Harry fanned himself with the end of his broom. "Good God, what's that smell?"

"Diabolic herbs!" The book bragged.

"You two were getting hi . . . herbing together?"

"Dude, Bookman is the coolest." Hazelheart grinned foolishly.

"Yeah, well," Harry said disinterestedly. "I should go because you two, er, smell."

The book laughed. "Yeah, but it's the smell of sin, isn't it? The blackest, most putrid-"

"Dude! I'm tryin' not to toss my cookies here. Could you lay off the descriptors?" Haze looked queasy.

"There are cookies?!" The book asked excitedly.

"No, man, not really." Haze looked vaguely disappointed. He managed to scoot over and lay his head on Harry's shoe. "Could you carry us back inside, dude? It's sooooo far away."

Harry grudgingly agreed and picked up both badger and book (even though he felt he should leave it outside) and escorted them inside the building. He knew just the place to put them too.

****

* * *

Hermione was feeling pretty pleased with herself. Being a hero was quite addictive. No wonder Harry liked it so much. She was heading down to the dungeons to work on the potion for Dumbledore with Professor Snape. She wasn't sure how she should handle seeing him again.

Last night, she'd tripped and fumbled her way out of the room without addressing his comment. Of course, he'd been kidding. Wasn't he? Of course he was. He was a professor and a mature older man. She put it from her mind. She'd just take her cue from him. If he was acting like her professor, she'd treat him like one.

Hermione knocked twice.

"Come in, Hermione," he called.

"Hello, Severus." Good. So, they were still on a first name basis. She came into the room and saw him standing next to one of his larger cauldrons. The brew inside was bubbling and fizzing. "What's that?"

"That is for me to know and you never to find out." He looked up at her and his gaze didn't hold the normal amount of censure. "Haven't you ever heard that Muggle adage about the familiar and inquisitiveness?"

"Uh, curiosity killed the cat?"

"Exactly." He appeared serious now. "And, that applies to Wizards and Witches as well."

Her brow furrowed. "That isn't a death threat, is it?" She wasn't sure, she hadn't ever received one.

"No," he said with a discreet laugh-sounding cough. "It's a warning. Be careful what you overhear."

"I will." She was offended. "It's not like I don't have any experience keeping secrets, you know! I'm the very essence of discretion."

"Excellent." He sighed. "I think it's time we work on Professor Dumbledore's protection spell, don't you? What do have for me?"

"Oh, here you are." She produced a scroll where she'd worked on her calculations. There were several drafts and the completed one was on the bottom portion. It was important that he saw her thought processes.

He read over her ideas very carefully. He 'hmmed' and 'hmmphed' as he sometimes added or erased something.

"Very good, Hermione." Severus met her anxious look. "I must say, that you have some unusual ideas but I believe they might work. Where in the world did you get the idea to use boomslang skin in a protection potion?"

"It has many useful properties despite the fact that it is a toxin. In fact," She began, eager to demonstrate her knowledge, "I used it once in a-"

"You've worked with it before?" He asked, puzzled. "Not in my classroom. In fact, I'm the only faculty member to keep it on hand so-"

"Oh, it wasn't at school!" She lied badly.

"Hogwarts students are not allowed to practice magic away from school."

"So, how about that Death Eaters meeting, eh? Pretty scary."

"My, what a clever way to change the topic of conversation," Severus said snidely. "I almost didn't notice."

"We should start brewing, don't you think?"

"As you wish," he replied. "Fetch the boomslang skin for me first. It takes quite a while to break it down in a potion."

"I remember," she muttered.

"What was that?" Severus asked as he rounded the corner. He wanted to gather the appropriate cauldron and brazier for the mixture.

"Nothing," Hermione said more loudly. She wasn't being terribly stealthy today for some reason. She went into his office and automatically found the location of the boomslang skin.

Snape noticed immediately. "How did you know where I kept it?"

Hermione gulped, color blotching on her face. "Uh . . . it's just that you're so organized. Everything in its place."

"I see." He folded his arms over his chest, wrapping himself in his robes. "Somehow, I don't believe you're being entirely truthful."

"I saw it the other day w-when you said I could use anything here. " Hermione still faced the cupboard, wishing desperately she'd brought along Harry's invisibility cloak.

Snape's mouth curled into a knowing smile. "You want to know what I think?"

"No."

His lips twitched."Well, I'll tell you anyway. I think you know where I keep that ingredient because you've stolen from my cupboards before."

"Oh, really. As if I would steal from you," she said, dismissively. "No, of course not. I don't steal! I'm a prefect and a straight A student to boot! I would never - never, ever because I-"

He raised an eyebrow at her.

"I did it. Just this once. And it wasn't even that much boomslang skin. It was more boom than boomslang. I didn't even enjoy it! I felt bad the entire time," she confessed in a rush of breath.

"Yet were able to keep it a secret for five years. I'm sure your conscience must have been smarting the entire time." He got closer to her. "And just what were you brewing?"

"A potion."

"How very Longbottom of you."

"That was uncalled for!" Hermione glared at him. "He's brilliant in Herbology."

"I'm sure," Severus sarcastically agreed. "Stop stalling. Out with it."

"What kind of punishment are we talking here?"

"Fine." He crossed his arms. "It's Amnesty Day. Anything you tell me will not cost House points."

"All day!?" Hermione's smile was brilliant. "Really?"

"Really."

"Polyjuice Potion," she whispered.

Severus chuckled. "For a second there, I thought you said Polyjuice Potion, but I must have been mistaken because--"

"Ummm . . . actually, I did say that."

"YOU BREWED POLYJUICE POTION!?"

"Erm, yes."

"That is dangerous, Miss Granger! Do you know how difficult that is? How volatile? Not to mention-"

"The way it tastes. Disgusting." She made a face. "I would have rather eaten some of the hor's d'oeuvres at the ghost party."

"YOU DRANK IT!?"

"Stop shouting."

"One hundred House points for nearly killing yourself," he thundered.

"You can't do that! Amnesty Day! You promised!"

Severus' mouth had a white ring around it. "Fine. I'm nothing if not a man of my word."

"I didn't nearly kill myself! That potion was perfect! Well, nearly perfect. I sort of grew a tail and whiskers but the potion worked!"

"You were trying to turn yourself into a cat?"

"Of course not! I mistakenly plucked a feline hair off of-"

"Keep going," Severus encouraged, propping his chin on one hand. "I'm fascinated."

"I think I said enough about this particular situation."

Severus was calmer now and he marveled at both her cunning and audacity. "What was it like? I've never brewed that particular potion."

"It wasn't as hard as you might think. Except for the foul taste. Maybe, if some vanilla was added to the mixture-"

"You will not be brewing that again." Severus glanced at the container which held the boomslang skin, there was only one paltry skin left. Much more would be needed for the protection potion. "We shall have Mr. Potter and Draco retrieve some for us."

"Alright. I'll make sure to tell Harry." She sighed as she leaned against one of the shelves. "So, since we can't brew the potion right now, do you want to talk?"

"Certainly." He was unsure of her motives.

Hermione grinned at him. "Tell you what, let me use your owl to give Harry the message and then we'll talk some more while you wait." She jotted down a quick note for Harry, he tied it to the foot of his screech owl, Nemesis and sent it out into the corridor. They settled into two chairs behind his desk to wait. "So does this amnesty thing still apply?"

"Yes."

"To Harry and Ron too?"

"No. What else could you possibly confess?"

"We need to have a talk about fire."

"You burned something down?!"

"Don't be silly! I would never do that. But, I did set someone on fire."

"Who?"

"You." She bit her lip.

"Was that a death threat?"

****

* * *

"A little to the left. Lower. Lower. Mmmm. Now, behind the other ear." Griff-gruff commanded. Draco scowled and complied. "Under the left wing. Harder. Now, right wing. Higher. A little more . . . perfect! You may stop now."

"So how was that?" Draco smirked at the mascot. He knew he was good with his hands.

"Not bad, Malfoy." Griff-gruff hopped of his lap and trotted over to his favorite chair. "Of course, Harry didn't require as much active coaching. But, not bad."

Draco scowled.

The portrait swished open. "Not very original. Why not 'pureblood' or 'sex-god residence'?"

"Potter, what are you doing here?" Draco sighed. Like their password was so brilliant.

"Why, Malfoy, did you forget our date? I'm crushed." Harry laughed, leaning on his Firebolt. "Ah well, I'll just check out my old room, while you get ready." And he turned and bounded up the stairs, to the first year room he had stayed in. He drifted over to the window, the image of a content young eleven year old, folded in the embrace of his first Hogwart's night, sitting quietly in his mind.

"I take it that it's time for us to do rounds once more?" A voice drawled from behind him. Harry spun around, shaken out of his revery. A warm night wind blew through the open window, tussling his hair a little.

"Yes, and Snape wants us to find some boomslang skin for him in the forest for a special potion." Harry smirked, the expression looked wrong on his face, and it worried Draco a little. Harry stepped back into the near floor level window sill, his heels even with the edge. Draco bit his lip and controlled the urge to warn him about the proximity of the ledge. "What's a matter, Malfoy? Didn't you miss me?"

"Can't say that I did, Potter." Draco gestured with the broom , clutched in his hand as he spoke.

"I'm crushed." And Harry leaned back, letting himself fall into the oblivion outside of the tower.

"Harry!" Draco hopped on his broom and flew out the window, only to find Potter laughing with exhilaration as he flew around the tower. "Goddammit, Potter!"

Harry flew to his side, and as if by silent agreement, they descended about a hundred feet and began to make rounds. "Worried about me, Malfoy?"

"That's some death wish you've got there," he grumbled, not looking at the other boy, his heart still beating rapidly in his chest.

"You _were_ worried!" Harry announced. "Aww, Malfoy. Didn't know you cared."

"I care whether you live or die, Potter. Just don't be too sure which one I want to happen," he said darkly, as he headed for the Forbidden Forest. He wanted to get the snake part of the night out of the way.

"Hey, I thought we had a truce going. What's a matter, Malfoy? Don't you want to be my friend anymore?" Harry bumped him playfully with his shoulder.

"Are you trying to hit on me again, Hero?" Draco's brow furrowed. What was wrong with Potter? He was being nice. In a flippant way, but it almost seemed more like friendly banter than teasing, and that just wasn't normal. Did he feel guilty about yesterday? Or was he up to something? He brought his broom down, landing lightly on the ground, Harry right behind him.

Leaning once more on the handle of his broom, Harry smiled at him. "Maybe I am."

"What? I'm sorry, I meant -- WHAT?!" Draco didn't think he could take anymore shocks today. First Granger wanted to out-evil him. Now the infamous Harry Potter, his arch rival, wanted to get in his pants. What was next? Lockhart's book renouncing evil?

"Oh, not interested? What a shame," Harry deadpanned, starting towards the woods. "Look, Malfoy. We're stuck with these rounds indefinitely. I just thought they might be more bearable if we weren't at each other's throats all the time. After all, we're nearly adults now. I'm sure you can get past your jealousy and I can get past the fact that you're a spoiled brat and destined to be a Death Eater."

"Doesn't seem right, Harry Potter flirting with a Death Eater." Draco smirk, poised once more and somewhat bemused with his own statement.

"But you're not one yet." Harry pointed out mischievously.

"No, not yet," Draco whispered softly. His eyes flared as he looked at Harry. "Let's get the snake-skin and get out of here."

"Scared of the dark, Malfoy?" There was the taunting tone once more.

"Tired of your incessant chatter, Potter." But a smile was playing at his lips.

They entered the woods together, steps matched and silent. The woods were silent, immense and ageless. They enveloped the boys as they walked into their depths. Following Harry's lead, they headed for a small grove of trees in an open spot. Boomslang liked to sleep on tree branches in the sun, so it was a likely spot for nests and skins. Tentatively, they turned over brush with the tip of their broomsticks, searching for the delicate skins the Professor needed. They had nearly filled their bag, when Harry heard Draco inhale sharply, and sit heavily on the ground. He turned to see him cradling his hand to his chest. Two feet from his, was a boomslang in striking position.

Harry hurried to Draco's side, stepping in between him and the deadly venomous snake. He hissed to it in parseltongue,_ "Why did you bite him?"_

_"He nearly sssstepped on my eggs."_ It hissed back. _"You are Harry Potter."_

_"How did you know that? Because I'm a parselmouth?"_

_"Because only Harry Potter would ask a snake why it bit someone," s_he corrected. _"I am Nova."_

_"Greetings, Nova."_ Harry kneeled down. _"I am sure he did not mean it."_

_"He is a friend of yourssss, then?"_

Harry's eyes flickered to Draco who was paler than normal and shaking. _"Yes, he is."_

_"Then I am sssssorry."_ The snake bobbed her head. _"You must remove the venom from his hand before it spreads."_

_"You were only protecting your own,"_ Harry pointed out. She nodded once more, and slithered back into the grass.

"If you're quite done, Potter, I think I need to get back to the castle." Draco tried to stand, but winced and fell back to the ground. Harry pretended not to notice.

"Let me see your hand." Harry gently circled Draco's wrist and pulled the hand into his lap. Two faint red marks marred the lower portion of the palm."We don't have time to go back. We need to find a way to stop the venom before it spreads past your hand."

"And how do you intend to do that, Potter?" Draco was feeling rather light-headed.

Harry grimaced. He remembered from some t.v. show, this guy named Steve getting bitten and explaining what to do in such a situation. At the time, he had found it rather amusing, since the guy was obviously a Wizard and a parseltongue to boot, and had cast several anti-venom charms on himself before undertaking his career. None of these charms would help Draco, though, they were strictly preventative. So he was going to have to do it the old fashioned way.

"Just try to relax, ok? You'll only make it worse." Harry tightened his grip on Draco's wrist to shut off the blood flow, gently stroking his palm with the other hand in what he hoped was a soothing matter. Draco looked into his eyes and matched his breathing to the slow and even rhythm of Harry's.

Harry pushed two fingers into the puffy skin around the two holes, hoping to push the venom up through the skin. He knew it must be painful, but Draco kept his eyes on his, and never flinched. Some of the venom came up, but Harry knew it wasn't enough. What he was about to do was dangerous, and adrenaline shot through Harry, accelerating his breathing and making his heart pound, but he never even hesitated. Holding Draco's gaze, he slowly lowered his mouth to the wounds. At the first heated touch of Harry's mouth, Draco gasped. As he began to gently suck the poison and blood out, it felt like his hand was on fire, and that fire was quickly spreading to other parts of his body. He started to shake. Every few seconds, Harry would pull back and spit the venom on the grass, careful not to swallow any. In a few moments he was done, but his mouth was numb from the poison abosbed there.

"I think that'll do it." He wiped his mouth with the back of his free hand, realizing that there were traces of Malfoy's blood on his lips. "I think you'll have to ride with me. You're in no condition to fly."

Harry helped Draco onto the broom, sitting behind him. He pulled the blond close to his chest so he wouldn't fall off, and took off for Hogwarts as fast as he could. At first Draco tried to hold his head up and his body away from Harry's, but Harry impatiently tugged him back, gently pushing his head back onto Harry's shoulder. Draco was unsettled by the gesture, and the unexpected carefulness of it. Finally he gave up. Draco leaned back, resting his head on Harry's shoulder, relaxing into the other boy, one arm over Harry's for balance, the other tucked up above his heart to keep any remaining venom down. In Draco's mind was the image of Harry spitting blood on the ground, on Draco's skin was the imprint of the smoldering touch of Harry's lips


	9. Did you get the boomslang skin?

**TITLE:** Trading Spaces 9

**RATING:** R (slash warning m/m)

**PAIRING:** HG/SS, HP/DM, HP/HG (friendship)

**Chapter Nine: Did You Get the Boomslang Skin?**

****

* * *

Draco stumbled, falling into Harry as they moved down the hallway. Ignoring the boy's mumbled protests, Harry slipped his right arm around Draco's waist, supporting his weight effortlessly. Harry firmly grasped Draco's left wrist, applying pressure to prevent any remaining boomslang venom from circulating. Harry's heart was still racing and he was beginning to feel lightheaded from both adrenaline and the small amount of venom he had ingested. He forced himself to walk quickly and stay upright. Draco mumbled something as he leaned heavily into Harry.

"What was that?" Harry asked softly, hoping he'd make it to the hospital wing before they both collapsed. His heart was racing, pumping the trace amount of venom he had ingested through his body, and it _hurt._ He could not imagine what Draco was feeling just then.

"I said, if you wanted to hold my hand, all you had to do was ask." Malfoy repeated a little louder, his face creased slightly in pain as he mockingly used Harry's earlier phrasing.

"Did the snake bite give you a sense of humor, Malfoy? I'm impressed." Harry laughed lightly, but worry was evident in his eyes. He looked up and saw the door to the hospital wing. Thank Merlin!

"All these years, that's all I had to do to impress you? Tell a joke?" Draco sagged against him, his breathing shallow, his face ashen.

"You were trying to impress me?" Harry paused outside the door, trying to remember a spell to open the door without dropping Draco.

"Impress you - show you up - something like that." Draco lifted his head, swaying slightly, but managed to smirk slightly. "Well which is it Potter, in or out?"

"In." Harry disregarded the innuendo, and gave a brief nod. Forget the spell. He kicked the door open with a resounding bang and dragged Draco through it. Making his way over to one of the beds, he lifted Draco onto it, before sitting down on the edge of it, waves of dizziness washing over him.

"What'd you say to that snake, Potter?" Draco's eyes were barely open. His voice, heavy with drowsiness, sounded far away.

"Told her you didn't mean to come near her nest. Told her I, er, knew you." Harry gripped the bed frame with one hand to make the floor stop spinning. "That we were . . . friends."

"D'you tell that snake not to bite me again, Hero?" He was shaking.

"Yes, I did."

"Like it when you speak parseltongue . . ." His eyes drifted shut.

"Malfoy!" Harry called sharply. There was no response. "Draco! DRACO!" The blond was still.

Still clutching Draco's wrist with one hand, Harry turned and shouted, "MADAME POMFREY! WE NEED HELP!"

****

* * *

Hermione sat in Snape's living room, clutching a cup of herbal tea. Professor Snape had suggested that they retire to his rooms. He had been discussing the finer points of espionage and wanted to give her a few details about the Death Eaters. "Don't you think Harry should be back by now?"

"You haven't paid attention to a word I've said, have you?" Severus asked with disgust. "Too busy fretting over the hapless Mr. Potter."

"No, I was paying attention!" His expression told her that he was skeptical. "Really! Do you want to quiz me?"

"No," he snapped. "I know how much you enjoy tests."

"You explained your relationship with Sr. Malfoy. I still don't get how you could be the 'friend' of someone you loathe. You were interested in the Death Eaters because you could practice spells and potions that were, shall we say, less than ethical. You refused to tell me why you left the Death Eaters. And I'm still not clear on that 'toy' thing--"

"Let's just stick to the more important things ,alright?"

"Spoilsport," she singsonged.

Severus smiled at her. "You're not even a little bit afraid of me anymore, are you?"

"No. Are you afraid of me?"

"And why would I be afraid of you?" He scoffed.

"I did set you on fire."

"True." He nodded.

"And I stole from your personal stash of potion ingredients," she pointed out.

"Yes, you did," he agreed. He couldn't wait to see what she said next.

"Personally, I think I have a knack for this whole evil thing. It's almost too easy."

"Do try and pace yourself." He made a censuring motion with his hand. "You've only been a Slytherin for a week or so."

"So why you're telling me all your spying secrets . . ."

"Yes?" He prodded.

"How _do_ you keep those robes so shiny?" Her eyes widened. "Is it personal to you, did you cast a spell on yours? Is it a Death Eater perk? Like, are Draco's robes that shiny -"

"And what makes you think that Draco has Death Eater robes?" He leaned back with a shocked countenance.

"What, like it's a big secret he's evil?" She frowned. "He confessed it to me when I was in his room."

"And what were you doing in his room?!" Snape looked horrified. "Never mind. I _know_ what girls do in his room. Don't tell me."

"Not what you were thinking. It had nothing to do with 'toys' of any kind, I promise you," she hastened to reassure him. "Besides, I think Draco's kinda gay."

"Really?" He sounded fascinated. Then he frowned. "That's beside the point."

"I was just seeing if I was right about my suspicions. I confronted him and he folded. Told you I was good at this whole being evil thing."

Snape hid a smile with his hand.

Rune flew into the room, looking rather upset. "Severus! Severus!"

"Rune, what is it?" Snape stood up. Hermione turned in her seat to regard the eagle.

"It's Draco . . . he's been bitten by a boomslang. Harry Potter brought him into the hospital wing an hour ago. Madame Pomfrey has been pumping them full of anti-venom since she found them passed out. There's been no response." Rune shifted from side to side on the chair she was perching on. "I knew you'd want to know as soon as possible."

"Did you say them? Was Harry bitten, too?"

"Madame Pomfrey said she was treating them both.

"Oh, Merlin," Hermione gasped. She pressed a hand to her chest. "But they'll be fine, right? What did Madame Pomfrey say?"

"What's _she_ doing here?" Rune appeared very unhappy by this turn of events.

"She's visiting with me, Rune," Severus said, moved by the distress he saw on his prefect's face. "Mr. Potter's in very good hands, Hermione."

"You called her by her first name!" Rune fluffed out. "You never do that with students!"

"Did Madame Pomfrey say anything else about their condition?" Snape asked.

"She thinks they'll pull through. She said that she got to them just in time," the bird offered. She, too, was worried about someone special. Draco Malfoy was Snape's prize pupil. Losing him would distress the professor.

"Thank you, Rune." It was a dismissal.

"But I just got here. Wouldn't you like to wait for the news about them together? By ourselves?" She asked pointedly.

"That will be all," Severus said, oblivious to her. His gaze was riveted on Hermione. He reached out and put a comforting hand on the girl's shoulder. "Is there anything I can do?"

Hermione looked up at him tearfully and his heart lurched. "Can I stay here with you?"

"Of course."

Rune was incensed. "But . . . but, I'm upset too!" She tried to fake a sniffle but it sounded like she had a sinus problem.

"Good evening, Rune," Severus said. His teeth were clenched.

She had the feeling the professor was about to lose patience with her. Well, fine. She didn't care about anything right now. "You should return to your rooms, Miss Granger. Being here this late at night . . . people will talk."

"Dead birds can't tell tales," he said ominously.

Rune squawked at him, utterly appalled by his behavior. "Fine! I've had it up to my pin feathers with you! You'll rue the day you mistreated me! Rue the day!" She crowed as she flew out of the room.

Hermione hadn't even looked up. He chucked her under the chin and gave her a half-smile. "Now _that_ was a death threat."

****

* * *

Harry slowly opened his eyes. It was near sunrise, but still rather dark. Briefly he wondered how many days had past. He turned his head to find Draco watching him. For a moment he thought Draco was going to thank him. "What's the matter, Malfoy?"

"I was just thinking." He held his bandaged hand up. "I've finally got the answer to a question Slytherin's been pondering since our third year."

Harry sighed. "And what would that be?"

"Whether Harry Potter spits or swallows." Draco's eyes glittered with mischief. He waited for Harry to glare at him and say something about the crassness of the statement or call him an ingrate. Instead, Harry grinned.

"Well, I guess that just leaves one question unanswered, Malfoy."

"What's that?"

"Does Draco Malfoy spit or swallow?" Harry chuckled as Draco rolled over, refusing to reply.

_"I heard it was both."_ Snippy twisted his way up Harry's bedframe.

_"According to receiver's preference,"_ Snarky added. Harry laughed out loud.

Draco turned over, narrowing his eyes as he spotted the source of Harry's amusement. "What are they doing here?"

_"Visiting the sick,"_ Snippy hissed, turning to look at Draco.

_"And stealing the sick's chocolate frogs."_ Snarky tossed one from a previously unnoticed pile on Harry's bedside table to Snippy. Atop the stack was a card from Dumbledore. Draco had an identical stash.

_"You two would steal candy from a baby,"_ Harry hissed back at them.

_"Now that's just ridiculous,"_ Snippy said between swallows. Harry arched a brow.

_"Babies never get the good stuff. Everyone knows that,"_ Snarky clarified.

"Are you going to answer me or not, Hero?" Draco snapped impatiently, trying to cover his intense interest in the parsel-conversation.

"They've come to eat our candy." Harry declared, a knowing smile sneaking across his face as he remembered Draco's dazed confession about liking when Harry spoke to snakes. "Feeling a little nervous about snakes, Malfoy? Lucky you're not a Slytherin anymore, huh?"

"You seem to fit in well there, Hero. Maybe our infallible hat made a mistake with everyone's favorite Gryffindor." Malfoy intoned snidely.

_"Did you hear that, Harry? You're his favorite!"_ Snippy wiggled. _"You might be able to steal him away from Snape, yet!"_

_"That was sarcasm,"_ Harry declared.

_"Really? That? Huh."_ Snippy snickered. _"Did you hear that, Snarky? Evidently, that was 'sarcasm.'"_

_"What is this sarcasm you speak of? I've never heard of such a thing."_ Snarky looked perplexed.

_"Ok, ok, I get it. You two invented sarcasm."_ Harry held his hands up to stave off more commentary. It was in vain.

_"I wouldn't say invented. More like, perfected,"_ Snippy stated casually.

Harry ignored him, turning to his human problem. "I was not placed in the wrong House!" He declared sharply.

"Not anymore - the oversight has been corrected." Malfoy grinned. "Why so defensive, Hero?"

_"Sort of like Da Vinci didn't invent painting, he just improved it,"_ Snarky continued.

Harry glanced at him, but focused back on Draco. He asserted firmly, "I belong in Gryffindor, I know it."

_"It's almost like it just goes better with us,"_ Snippy replied, philosophically. _"The way peanut butter goes better with jelly."_

_"Or chocolate!"_ Snarky affirmed.

"If you know it, why are you so upset, Hero?" Draco shot back.

_"Precisely!"_ Snippy nodded his head. _"I would even go so far as to say we've put an original spin on it."_

"I am NOT upset!" Harry raised his voice, sitting up completely now.

_"Yeah . . . like taking the song 'Fools Rush In' and making it reggae."_ Snarky smiled.

Draco sat up as well, turning to dangle his legs over the bedside. "You most certainly are. You're practically yelling." Draco's smile grew more sinister. "What's the matter, Hero? Doubting yourself?"

_"Or like Prince! Do you remember that 'kiss' song he did?"_ Snippy's eyes gleamed.

"NO!" Harry matched Draco's stance, then, trying to seem calm, "I am not."

_"The one where he uses the high-pitched voice?"_ Snarky asked. _"That was very original - not too pleasant, but original."_

_"Exactly! Just like us - original and not too pleasant."_ Snippy laughed. _"Thee, thee, thee . . ."_

"What is it you're not telling me, Potter?" Draco leaned forward, the fierce glint of a predator in his eyes.

_"You don't have to be rich to rule my world . . ."_ Snarky began in a high, off-key hiss.

Harry stared horrified at the snakes, but decided commenting might encourage them. "_I_ have nothing to hide, Malfoy."

"Neither do I, Potter." Draco reached for his sleeve.

_"You don't have to be coo - "_ Snippy broke off. _"Is he going to strip?"_

_"Wouldn't be the first time!"_ Snarky crowed.

Harry's hand closed over Draco's halting the movement. Draco raised a brow at him. "What's this?"

"Gryffindor trust." Harry met Draco's gaze head on.

"Doesn't prove you're a Gryffindor, Hero."

_"What's going on?"_ Snippy demanded to know. _"Why does he keep calling you that?"_

_"Awww - you're his hero, Harry!"_ Snarky cackled.

_"Do you two need a minute alone?"_ Snippy offered. _"Because we could sneak away, y'know."_

_"Yessss . . . there's a perfectly good spying point over there by the cupboards,"_ Snarky chimed in helpfully.

Harry's eyes never left Draco's, his grip still firm on his arm. Draco stared back intently, searching Harry's eyes for the information he was hiding. He didn't know how he knew these things that seemed to be flitting through his head, but the instincts were strong, and he trusted them.

_"Are they going to snog?"_ Snippy waved his tail in gleeful excitement.

_"I just want your extra time and your . . . "_

They both joined in and made the requisite kissing noises.

_"Shut up!"_ Harry hissed furiously, unnerved by Draco's intent gaze. Though the snakes didn't seem to be affected by his anger, as the parseltongue words left his mouth, he felt a slight tremble go through Draco's hand. As Harry stared into Draco's eyes, he realized they had dilated.

_"Oooo . . . Harry, I think he likes that!"_ Snippy cried.

_"I could be your fantasy - "_ Snarky sang.

"You _were_ supposed to be in Slytherin." Draco's whisper held notes of discovery and conviction. Then, he continued thoughtfully, "But how did you end up in . . ."

"Shut up, Malfoy!" Harry jumped to his feet, releasing the blond's arm.

"You changed it somehow." Draco ignored the command, recalling Harry's desperate, if inaudible, murmuring at the sorting ceremony. "You _told_ it not to put you in Slytherin."

_"Maybe, you could be mine."_ The snakes finished slyly in unison.

"So what if I did! Dumbledore said our choices determine our destiny," Harry muttered darkly, thinking that the words had seemed much more comforting in his second year.

"I knew it!" Draco stood. "You _belong_ in Slytherin."

"No more than you belong in Gryffindor." Harry glared at him.

"Well, let's just go up to the headmaster's office and find out then, shall we?" Draco gestured towards the door. "You can put the hat on and find out where you should be _without_ cheating this time, Hero."

"Fine. Let's go."

_"NOOOOO!!"_ The snakes yelled.

_"Harry, you can't!"_ Snippy shuddered.

_"That path leads to being dropped into the Forbidden Forest . . ."_

_"With large spiders!"_ They were ignored.

"C'mon then Hero." Draco cupped Harry's face with his uninjured hand, his thumb stroking Harry's jaw. "Let's see if those pretty Avada Kedavra green eyes of yours really match your true _House_ colors."

****

* * *

Hermione rushed through the hospital wing doors, skidding to a halt as her eyes landed on the two boys. "Harry! I came as soon as I . . ." She trailed off as her brain registered how close to each other they stood and Malfoy's hand on Harry's face. The boys hastily stepped back, Draco's hand falling to his side, Harry blushing slightly. "Am I interrupting something?"

_"HINEY!"_ The snakes shrieked.

_"They were about to snog!" _Snarky whined.

_"We were not."_ Harry groaned, sitting on his bed. "No, 'Mione. Nothing at all."

"That's what you think, Potter." Draco said, just loud enough for only Harry to hear.

_"See! Draco said you were!"_ Snarky pointed out.

_"He didn't hear what I said to you,"_ Harry corrected him, his head starting to hurt from talking to too many people - and snakes - at the same time.

"Good," said Hermione. "Because Professor Snape is - "

"Right behind you." Severus finished for her. He turned to Draco. "I trust you have survived your latest adventure with Mr. Potter?"

Draco nodded, not wanting to comment on the fact that Harry had in fact saved his life. He glanced at the dark haired boy, who looked a little offended.

Harry was about to explain that he had saved Draco after the boy had made a very stupid mistake when Hermione threw her arms around him. "I'm just glad you're alright! If you had been hurt because of something Iasked you to do -"

"No need to take on the guilt of his actions, Miss Granger," Severus said quickly. The group looked at him with him with puzzled expressions, the snakes narrowing their eyes in suspicion. He hurried to add to the statement, fixing his glare on Harry, "We all know where the blame lies."

Harry ignored Snape, used to his unfairness. "It wasn't that big of deal, Hermione. Really." Harry had to believe that. So, he sucked on Draco Malfoy, who hasn't? Harry's complexion blotched with red. Sucked on his hand. Merlin!

Hermione grew more concerned. "Why are you all red?" She pressed her hand to his forehead. "Maybe the poison . . ."

"No, he's fine." Draco smirked, knowingly. Harry stubbornly refused to meet his eyes. "Why aren't you more worried about me? I was the one who got bit!"

"Did you get the boomslang skin?" Snape asked.

"Se- Professor, I hardly think that's the appropriate question to be asking." Hermione frowned. Something was going on between the Harry and Draco. First, Harry lied about seeing Draco the night before. Then she found him in a possibly intimate embrace in the hospital. Now Harry was blushing while Draco smirked at him. "Why don't you two explain exactly what transpired?"

"Well, I was petting Griff-gruff when Potter, here, burst into my room-"

"How did he get in?" Snape scowled at Harry.

"The password was 'draconus'," Harry said. "Besides, it's not like I went in there with a boomslang and sprung it on him! I was getting him for our patrol and to run _your_ errand."

"Excellent point, Mr. Potter. Did you get the boomslang skin?"

"Then what happened?" Hermione sat down next to Harry, encouraging him to continue. The snakes dived out of the way before she sat on them, hissing angrily. While Harry was distracted listening to their latest stream of expletives, Draco decided to continue with the story.

"Then Potter hit on me and jumped out of the window-"

"Harry! You didn't!" Hermione gasped.

"Of course not! I would never hit on-"

"I meant, the 'jumped out the window' part," she corrected him before he could finish.

"Well, yeah. The tower's high enough for a dive!" Harry defended. Hermione was obviously not pleased with this. He used to do it all the time, but once he had jumped out the window while she was visiting Ron in their room and she had flipped out on him, making him promise never to do that again and asking if he had a death wish. "Anyways, we made a lap around the castle-"

"During which Potter tried to knock me off my broom, unsuccessfully," Draco interjected.

"Why don't you whine a little more? I barely brushed you." Harry glowered at him. The snakes looked on with approval of his comments.

"So what would you call that, Potter? A love tap?" Draco sneered.

"I was just playing. And you shoved back." He shrugged, ignoring the gleam in the eyes of Snippy and Snarky. They were going to have a party with the 'love tap' remark. A big party, with hats and noise makers. "So we landed and headed into the forest."

"Did you get the boomslang skin?" Snape asked again. Hermione fought the urge to turn around and elbow him.

"We found a nesting site-"

"Wait a minute! You never told me it was a nesting site," Draco accused.

"Well, I would have thought it was obvious that in order to find snake skin, we would have to look in a nesting area," Harry said, caustically.

"So sorry, Potter. I'm not that intimate with snake life."

Snippy looked at Snarky. _"You don't think he's implying that Harry's having some kind of illicit relationship with one of us do you?"_

"Well only a dim git like you wouldn't look where you were stepping while gathering snake skin," Harry shot back.

"Ah, so you _did_ get the boomslang skin?" Snape interrupted the arguement.

"Right, boomslangs. So I was reaching for a skin when this snake leapt out of nowhere and bit me." Draco gestured with his injured hand.

"Well, Nova wouldn't have bitten you if you didn't almost step on her eggs." Harry crossed his arms over his chest.

Draco looked flabbergasted. He had no idea how to deal with the boy who had saved his life defending the snake that had bitten him. He appealed to Snape for help. "He's on a first name basis with snakes, sir!"

Harry turned to Snape to see what he would say to this 'accusation'. Snape merely regarded him an annoyed expression. "Did you or did you not get the boomslang skin?"

Hermione's frown deepened. "So how did you get bitten, Harry?"

"Oh, I didn't," he said offhandedly. Snape, Hermione, Snippy and Snarky turned to look at Harry with confounded expressions. Draco regarded him with a lifted eyebrow. Harry scowled, and shut his mouth tightly.

"I don't understand. How did you get poisoned if you didn't get bitten?" Hermione furrowed her brow, trying to figure this out.

"He sort of- "Draco broke off. It was obvious that this was bothering Harry, and he loved to fluster him, but he wasn't sure that he wanted to admit that he had been saved by the boy-who-lived. His eyes warmed with the memory of Harry cradling his hand, his lips against the wound . . .

_"He what?!"_ Demanded Snarky.

_"Yeah, Harry! Tell us what happened." _Snippy bobbed his head insistently.

"He . . . what?" Hermione asked Draco. When he didn't answer, she turned on her best friend. "What did you do?"

"I sucked the venom out of his hand." Harry sighed. He looked up to see Malfoy gazing at him, his eyes heated to molten temperatures.

"That was so dangerous, Harry!" Hermione breathed.

"Then we put pressure on Draco's wrist to stop the spread of the poison and flew back here." Harry tried to control his blushing, and vaguely realized he had said 'Draco', not 'Malfoy'.

"With the boomslang skin?" Snape questioned.

"You mean you were able to fly after being bitten by a boomslang?" Hermione looked a little shocked as she looked at Draco.

"Well, no. Potter . . . brought me back on his broom." Draco stared at the floor.

"And you got the -" Before Snape could as again, Harry tossed him the bag full of the skins that Madame Pomfrey had stowed under his cot. "Good. Now, since you two have had a two-day respite, I will expect you to take up rounds again tonight. And don't be late for dinner. The new Muggle studies professor has finally finished gathering things and having them sent here, and thus shall be arriving to stay later this day. The headmaster has ordered a special feast to officially welcome him to the staff."

The snakes wiggled in approval. A feast, plus someone new to steal from. They snuck off, chattering excitedly and wondering if the new professor would have an extensive music collection.

Snape turned to Hermione. "If you would accompany me to the dungeons, we can start that potion now." She nodded, and with one last hug for Harry, hurried to start on her new potion. "As for you, Mr. Potter. I suggest you take Mr. Malfoy to look for his broom. And try to not to endanger yourself or Mr. Malfoy for once. The rest of us do not have days to laze about the hospital wing."

****

* * *

Hermione held the door to Snape's rooms open as he deftly maneuvered around her despite the heavy cauldron he carried. The potion was supposed to sit undisturbed for several days, and he wanted to keep an eye on it. "Thank you, Hermione."

"You're welcome, Severus." She stood, biting her lip for a moment.

"What is it?" He sighed as he turned from placing the cauldron carefully in his work space.

"What's what?" She stalled.

"I know that look." He watched her expectantly.

"I just wanted to, um, well . . ."

"Yes?"

"Thank you for last night." As she heard the words leave her mouth she blushed to the roots of her hair. "And that came out a lot dirtier than it sounded in my head."

Snape grinned. "May I ask what the spontaneous, if less than clean, gratitude is for?"

"For being so calming. For letting me stay here." Hermione gestured helplessly. "For sleeping on your own couch - "

"Don't mention it. No, really, don't mention it." He scowled and turned away from her. Hermione had fallen asleep in his chair last night after he had secretly put a few drops of a calming potion in her tea. At first he was going to put her back in her room, but he had been afraid she would wake disoriented. So he had levitated her onto his bed, removed her shoes and thrown a comforter over her. He had slept a few hours on the couch. When she had awoken, she had seemed rather embarrassed and had run out of his rooms, mumbling about checking on Harry. Worried, he had called after her and when she hadn't stopped, had followed her to the Hospital Wing. "It was the least I could do."

"It was the most you could do," she corrected him. "I was so worried . . ." She closed her eyes. "Though I suppose I should be used to it by now."

"Mr. Potter does seem to get himself into a lot of dangerous situations," Snape drawled caustically as he sat down in his favorite chair, indicating the one across from his. Hermione sat down uncertainly. She had meant to thank him and then run off to her rooms, but she found that being near him made her feel safer. She used to feel that way around Harry and Ron, but lately it had changed. Being near Harry did not feel safe anymore, and it wasn't because of the threat of Voldemort.

"It's not his fault!" Hermione protested, but it was half-hearted. "Not always."

Snape raised his brows at her as if to say, indeed?, but let the subject drop. "In any case, with Mr. Potter safe and sound, and the first draft of our potion nearly complete, we should turn to other matters."

"Other matters?" She asked blankly.

"Yes. Fortunately there shouldn't be another Death Eaters meeting until after school starts. That gives us time to plan, and you time to train." He steepled his hands together under his chin.

"I'm not sure I understand. Train to do what?" She looked worried once more.

"Well, I'm afraid you're going to have to learn some of the dark arts, to add to your credibility and for general defense. Also, I would like you to learn some hand to hand combat skills. Most wizards, particularly of the dark persuasion, feel it is beneath them, and that can give you an advantage." He paused, holding her gaze. "We will also have to work on acting as a fluid pair. One slip up, and we'll both be exposed."

"How exactly . . . I mean, what would that . . . entail?" She tried not to blush again.

"Well, spending time together for one. I need to know everything about you, from your eating habits to how you like your pumpkin juice to your favorite color," he expounded.

"I'm sorry, but why?" She looked perplexed.

"I understand if the idea is unpleasant, but it is essential -"

"It's not unpleasant," she said softly. He looked startled. "I just don't understand. Is there going to be a pop-quiz? Something along the lines of 'let's see whose girlfriend might be a spy'?"

His lips twitched. "Not exactly. You won't need any parchment. But there will be Social Balls, formal dinners, weekend gatherings as well as meetings." At her shocked expression, he added, "These people think of themselves as high society, Hermione. They like to plan death and destruction like civilized people, at a party with shrimp cocktail."

"So what you're saying is that being a Death Eater is like belonging to a yacht club, without the pretty boats?"

"Actually, there are boats sometimes. Usually less pretty and more secretive, basically used for dumping bodies . . ."

Hermione sighed. "Evil boats?"

"Pretty much."

She looked up sharply, thinking of a movie she once saw. "The shrimp cocktail isn't evil though, is it?"

"Not so far." He shot her a serious look. "But don't touch the paté."

****

* * *

Harry and Draco crossed Hogwarts' grounds quickly, headed into the woods once more. Harry's mouth was drawn in a tight line, indicating he was in no mood to talk. He pretended to ignore Draco, but when he noticed the blond wince slightly at their rapid pace, he surreptitiously slowed up a bit. Draco glanced at him out of the corner of his eye.

"Let's have a little chat, Hero." Draco crossed his arms imperiously over his chest as he walked, carefully choosing his steps in his high boots. Harry looked at him sharply a moment, as if wondering what he was doing, before continuing on as if Draco had never spoken.

"Let's not."

"That was rude," Malfoy reprimanded him. "What shall we talk about? Hmm . . ."

"Malfoy . . ." Harry sighed.

"I know. Let's talk about lies," Draco announced the topic with flair. "What do we call people who tell lies? Liars! Now, let me think . . . do we know a liar?"

"You?" Harry suggested.

"No, I was going to say you." Draco grinned.

"I am not a liar," Harry said vehemently. Why was Draco making conversation? Where was this going? Harry almost missed the days that Draco was simply irritating and constantly engaged in trying to get Harry to fight. This passive aggressive psychological warfare was unnerving.

"Oh, really?" Draco quirked an eyebrow at him as they reached the forest and began moving through the cool shade. "So then, when Hermione asked you about the other night, you told her all about our little conversation in the woods?"

"Since when do you call her Hermione?" Harry asked harshly.

"Since three days ago," he replied flippantly. "And now you're changing the subject. That's practically an admission of guilt."

"Is not." Harry looked abashed at his response. He hurried to add in what he hoped was a semi-mature manner, "I have nothing to feel guilty about."

"So you don't even feel guilty about lying to Hermione?" Draco smirked.

"No." Harry shook his head, aggravated. "I mean, no, I didn't lie to . . ." He trailed off, it was obvious that he had been caught in the lie. "Truthfully? I didn't think it was worth mentioning."

Draco didn't even bat an eye, he merely maintained the silence until it stretched into what seemed like infinity. He was familiar with Harry's tendency to lash out when backed into a corner.

Harry gritted his teeth. "Fine. I just didn't want to worry her."

"By telling her what you were doing?" Draco gave a short laugh. "Yes, I see how that would be reassuring."

Harry glared at him. "Is there a point, or are you just trying to distract me from how worn out you really are?"

"Hmm, speaking of the snakebite incident, exactly why didn't you want to tell them how you came to my rescue, Hero?" Draco's eyes flashed.

"You didn't tell them, either," Harry pointed out.

"I didn't want to tell them that you had helped me in any way. You however, didn't want to tell them _how_ you helped me. Now why is that?" They stopped just outside the boomslang nest. "Accio broom!"

"Perhaps I was repulsed at having to recall that I had touched you." Harry glowered at him as his broom flew into his hand.

"I don't think so," Draco said arrogantly, stepping a little closer to him. "I don't think that repulsion had anything to do with it at all."

"Just what are you trying to say, Malfoy?" Harry's heart sped up as Draco came even closer to him.

"What do you think I'm trying to say, Potter?" Draco reached a hand out as if to repeat the gesture he had made earlier and cup Harry's face in his hands. "Why don't you tell me what you were thinking when you were sucking the venom out of me?"

"I - what was that?" Their strange conversation was interrupted by the distinct sound of something skittering towards them. Both boys froze, barely a foot apart, Draco's arm extended midway between them. Slowly they turned their heads toward the sound. There stood three abnormally large spiders, gnashing their fangs at them.

Harry moved on pure instinct, grabbing Draco's arm around the elbow and felt Draco's long fingers wrap around his arm. They began to back up. Harry's wand was in his robe pocket, he had to get to it! As they each reached for their wands, the spiders spit out a string of webbing. Without thought, they each threw up a protective hand, murmuring "Expelliarmous!"

Draco felt a tremendous vibration move through him, something a muggle would compare to electric shock. He felt something reach inside of him, entangling in his magic and pulling it up through him. His fingers clamped convulsively on Harry's arm as the power of it swept over him, a rush he hand never felt the like of before. And when he whispered the spell, he heard Harry's voice in his mind, overlapping, compelling, combining with his own, before it blew him back onto the ground, his eyes full of the tree-branch scattered sky, his mind full of Harry Potter.

Harry felt as if a swirling vortex rose up out of him, pulling wind and energy from deep inside him, as well as around him. He felt Draco's magic rushing towards him as if by his command. His fingers gripped Malfoy's arm as the rush of it overtook him. He whispered the spell, hearing the echo of Malfoy's voice entwining within his own, before the blast of the spell threw him on top of Malfoy, his vision filled with flashing silver eyes.

The spiders had flown so far back into the forest they couldn't be seen or heard by the young wizards. Harry panted, staring into Malfoy's eyes. "What the - "

"Bloody hell was that?" Malfoy finished, sounding a little breathless himself.

"I'm not sure. It was incredible -"

"Powerful. We didn't even -"

"Have our wands." Harry finished, too caught up in the what of what had happened to really consider the ramifications of what had happened. He shivered, for some reason feeling as if he had just been sprayed with ice water. He glanced over the body underneath him, realizing that he still grasped Malfoy's arm. For some reason, he didn't want to let go just yet. "Are you alright? Did you hurt anything?"

With a mischievous glint in his eye, Malfoy bucked his hips up against Harry's, grinning at Potter's gasp of surprise. "Nothing important."

Harry caught his breath, then stared at Draco for a moment, not knowing what to do with the weird, mock flirtation that they seemed to be engaging in more and more. He lowered his head a little, blocking Draco from seeing anything but his face. "I'm freezing."

"I'm on fire." Draco felt as if he was lying next to an inferno. He could picture green flames licking at his flesh. He was starting to sweat. Harry felt cool everywhere they touched, and it was hard to not luxuriate in that feeling. He looked into Potter's eyes. "Gonna let me up?"

"Oh . . . yeah." Harry tried to get to his feet, touching as little of Malfoy as possible. It was so tempting though. He felt so warm. Harry stood, looking at down at Malfoy, stretched out on his back at Harry's feet. He extended a hand to help him up, which Draco accepted. Harry was starting to shake and he had to force himself to release Draco's hand. "We should get back."

"Yeah." Draco looked at Harry for a moment, unbuttoning the top button of his shirt, wishing there was a breeze. "I don't think we should tell anybody about this, Potter. Not until we figure out what happened."

"But, shouldn't we tell Dumbledore?" Harry wrapped his arms around his body for warmth.

"Not just yet, Hero. We need to think this through a little before we involve him." At least he did. Draco climbed on his broom. "Why don't we just ride my broom back, I don't want to run into anymore spiders."

Harry nodded and climbed onto the back of Draco's broom. He put his hands on Draco's sides as they took off for balance, wishing he could lean forward against the warmth of the other's back, but stayed upright, angling his body so that Draco was shielding him from the breeze and resisting the urge to lean into Draco's body. He had to talk to Hermione. She would know what to do.

****

* * *

Dr. Troy Tatterton eyed the large man who lumbered beside him as they approached the gothic castle. He was a dashing man with black hair and brown eyes. He didn't sport robes or even a suit, but instead was dressed in black jeans and a grey cashmere sweater. Troy had been dubious about his new position when he'd met Hagrid at the train station. If all the professors at Hogwarts dressed this way, he was going to have some serious work on his hands.

"So, what kind of a statement are you making here?" He gestured to Hagrid's smudged clothing. "Lumberjack?"

"A lumber what?"

"Never mind. What kind of accommodations should I expect?" After first sight, he was thinking Braveheart and that was a big 'no'. Hagrid looked at him questioningly. "For example, where do you live?"

"Oh, I've got a hut on the edge of the property. I have a fireplace, usually with a cauldron full of soup bubbling for visitors." He thought the good professor was fishing for an invite. "Very humble but just the thing if I do say so meself."

"Dear God." Troy was horrified. "And I will be living in a . . .a hovel?"

"Hut."

"Same diff, Martha Stewart, the goddess, would not approve and neither do I."

"You know Martha? She graduated in-"

"So not the point." He gulped. "Where's my hut?"

"Oh, you'll be livin' in the castle with the rest of the professors." He thought a moment. "And the ghosts, of course."

That was marginally better. But if there was flourescent lighting, he was out of there. It made him look puffy. "Fabulous." Hold up, did he say ghosts?

As they walked across the lawn, Troy saw a small cat regally strutting across the grass. Being a great cat lover, he called. "Here kitty , kitty."

"Oh, you shouldn'ta done that." Hagrid shook his head.

"Kitty?!" The small creature came into the moonlight, illuminating his wings.

"Did that cat just say something?" Troy said in a whisper. Maybe he'd had one too many margaritas at the hotel.

"Yes, I did. By the way, it's rude to not answer when you're asked a question." Griff Gruff padded over and sat down in the man's path. "And just who are you?"

"This is Dr. Tatterton, Gruff. He didn't know who you were."

Griff Gruff was incredulous. "You're a Muggle!"

"Excuse me, furball. No one told me that talking house pets would be part of the deal."

"It's a good thing you are wearing that cashmere or I'd slice it open!" He smirked. "Maybe I'll just have the snakes steal it for me and I'll sleep on it."

"Cat fur on cashmere!" He gasped. "You wouldn't!"

"I would and I will!" Griff Gruff stood taller. "Just for your lack of proper respect."

"Well, pardon me, Fluffy. I'll be more careful in the future."

"No, Fluffy's in the dungeon." Hagrid added, "That's Griff Gruff."

"Fluffy?" He looked at the griffin. "One of your brothers cough up a hairball on the rug?"

"That's revolting."

"No, Fluffy's my three-headed-dog," Hagrid explained.

"Why not? I'm living in a castle with ghosts, magicians, a talking cat, and a three-headed dog. All we need now are elves."

"They work in the kitchen," Hagrid informed him. "Innit that right, Gruff?"

"Oh, that's right. You're name's Griff Gruff, isn't it, kitty?" Troy laughed. "How very Sesame Street."

He had no idea what that meant. "You are strange and displeasing despite your good taste in clothing." Griff Gruff walked away, tail in the air. "You'd better watch yourself, Dr. Muggle. And you should watch out for," he whirled around and made his voice dark and mysterious. "The evil book."

Troy through his hands up in the air. "Is nothing safe? The books are evil?!"

"No!" Wild laughter was heard from the bushes. Lockhart's book leapt out of them and sprung on Troy's chest. It snagged his cashmere sweater and ran off into the night cackling. "Just this one!"

Troy stared down at his rapidly unraveling sweater, the giant of a man standing next to him, and the glorified house cat that was sauntering up the front stairs. "Where's Buffy when you need her?"


	10. Commence with the Kissing

**TITLE:** Trading Spaces 10

**RATING:** R (slash warning m/m)

**PAIRING:** HG/SS, HP/DM, HP/HG (friendship)

**Chapter Ten: Commence with the Kissing**

****

* * *

Severus Snape approached his potions classroom with his wand clutched in his hand. He heard another rattle, followed by a boom and a crash. There were three plausible explanations for the sounds emanating from the room ahead that he could think of. One, the snakes were trying to make spider repellant again. Two, Hazelheart was trying to sneak off with some of his herbs again. Or three, Voldemort had been able to sense the protection potions he was making and had sent some Death Eaters to capture him. Serpents, herb-junkies, or assassins, he felt he was going in fully prepared to face whatever it was. He was wrong.

His classroom was an absolute disaster. Cauldrons were turned over, bottles lay smashed everywhere and textbooks were scattered to the four corners. In the middle of all of the chaos, were two figures, one perched on his desk chair, the other merrily stomping on something.

"Yeah! Throw it on the floor!" Rune cried. Then her eyes widened. "No, not that one! It's too exspe- ohhh." She winced and hid her head under a wing.

"I told you, I'm evil! I don't listen to orders! I don't obey rules!" The book was hopping up and down, squishing the contents of a jar of beetle eyes. "Yesterday, I removed the tags off of all the couches in the Professor's Lounge before anyone could stop me!"

"What is going on here?" Snape stood, mouth agape. "Rune?"

"Karma," she answered succinctly, ignoring the urge to cringe and apologize. "I told you that you would rue the day!"

"Did you . . . let that book into my classroom?" He glared at the book, who was currently throwing dried rose petals around like confetti.

"Yes. I did," she stated defiantly.

"But I would have found a way in eventually. Being how I'm so evil and everything," the book pointed out, not wanting the bird to take credit for the mess.

"He's got a point," Rune commented.

"I can't believe you stooped low enough to team up with quasi-evil over there." Snape sat down on the corner of his desk, one of the only clear surfaces in the room.

"My first name's Sheldon, actually," the book called out.

"Sheldon?"

"What, just because I'm evil, I can't have a given name? I'm Sheldon Evil, of The Blackest Magic Ever Series. We're a rare and particularly nasty family. And I'm the first edition." The book ruffled its pages proudly.

"Mmm, yes, I'm sure you'd scare the pasta outta Tony Soprano himself." The voice came from the doorway. There stood Troy Tatterton, surveying the damage with amusement, before settling his gaze on Snape. "Dungeon chic . . . a little cluttered, but you make it work. No, really. Few people pull off tall, dark and creepy that well."

"Mr. Tatterton, I presume?" Snape crossed his arms over his chest. "Something I can do for you?"

Troy lifted an eyebrow and looked Snape over slowly. "Maybe some other time."

Rune looked confused. "Did he just - "

"I was actually looking for my classroom, when my staircase decided to play limbo, and I ended up down here. Just wanted to see what all the ruckus was about."

"I see."

Troy grinned. "So, you are . . ."

"Severus Snape, Potions Master." Rune answered for him, looking crossly at the intruder.

"Can I call you Sevvie?"

"Not if you wish to live," Snape said darkly.

"Ooooh . . . that was a good threat." The book began to practice, strutting back and forth on one of the tables. "Not if you wish to live. NOT if you wish to LIVE."

"Perhaps you can help me." Troy ignored the book. "I can't seem to find the Headmaster's office either . . ."

"Very well. Come with me." Snape moved towards the door. He turned to glower at the book and the bird. "Are you two going to clean up the mess you made?"

"I am EVIL! I do not clean." The book stopped its Snape impersonation for a moment. "I don't even pre-rinse before putting dishes in the washing sink!"

"And I am not cleaning your classroom." Rune sniffed. "Obviously, you don't want me in here." And with that she flew out the window.

Snape shook his head and accompanied Troy down the hall. Taking in the man's muggle attire, he sighed. "Would you like me to procure you some robes for supper?"

"Not if you wish to live." Troy's Snape impression was decidedly scarier than the book's.

Severus shook his head. "Death threats."

****

* * *

Hermione reclined against the leather couch in the Slytherin Common Room, Crookshanks lazily napping in her lap as she stroked his fur. She never thought in a million years that she would find herself working with Professor Snape, much less liking the man. It was quite bizarre in the best possible sense of the word. She actually looked forward to spending time with him. He was intelligent, sophisticated, and possessed an amazing sense of humor. She doubted anyone at school saw him for who he truly was.

To think that all of this happened because she'd been skulking around the castle! True, impersonating a Jr. Death Eater made her stomach cramp but helping out the Wizarding World was a priority. It was high time that Harry and Severus weren't the only hero at Hogwarts.

Severus also said he was going to train her. She wasn't sure she could do something so physically demanding. Sure, she was good with a spell and she occasionally ran from something and the like. But being able to physically attack Lucius Malfoy ? Hmm . . . maybe this wouldn't be so horrible after all. Hermione stood up and placed Crookshanks on the couch, ignoring his sulky growl.

She could almost picture it. Maybe she'd knock his wand out of his hand with a spell and then she'd round on him before he could recover. Maybe she'd punch him. Hermione moved her fist through the air, slugging the imaginary Lucius.

"Yeah, who's the toy now?" She said, getting into her fantasy. Then, she'd sweep his feet out from under him, maybe he'd smack into the spooky stones. "Take that, you-"

"Are you very angry at the air or am I interrupting a fight with one of the invisible ghosts?" Harry asked.

Hermione turned bright red. "Oh, hey Harry! Just, you know, erm-"

"Boxing your imaginary friend?"

"So, what's new with you? Get bit lately?"

"Ha ha," Harry said, folding his arms over his chest. "No, not today."

"So, what's going on with you?"

"Nothing. Just thought I'd go lay down for awhile before dinner. I'm exhausted." And with that he turned, and headed to his quarters. Hermione frowned. She knew there was something going on, something that Harry was keeping to himself. After Cedric had died, Harry had developed an unpredictable, moody edge to his personality. He flew too fast, dived out of towers - tempting fate too much for her taste. Then there was the 'incident' over the summer.

Ron, Harry and Hermione had gone to the Quidditch World Cup and managed to share their own tent. A group of Death Eaters had made another appearance, this time with no fear and the protection of the newly risen Dark Lord. They had Apparated in, each holding a muggle corpse, which they dropped in front of Fudge's tent. The trio had been confined to their tent for Harry's protection. As they waited for the all clear, Harry had paced back and forth, growing more and more agitated, declaring that he should be part of the fight. Finally, he determined to leave the tent. When Ron and Hermione tackled him to stop him, his eyes had flashed and every light in their tent blew out. It had stunned them into immobility, and moments later a group of aurors came to escort them back to the Burrow. The Quidditch World Cup was canceled. They had never spoken of the event again, but it was still there, in Hermione's head. Where had all of that raw power come from?

Coming back to Hogwarts had seen a return of the playful, comforting Harry that Hermione loved like a brother. But being around Malfoy lately seemed to be unsettling him once more. Something had changed, even the air around the two of them seemed intense. The way they looked at each other, the change in their tones when they spoke, the intense body languages, the strange heated exchanges she kept witnessing the tail ends of - exchanges that got way too heated way too fast, without the usual release from dueling or brawling. There was more going on there then just their old rivalry. And she intended to find out what it was. Right now.

Hermione threw open the door to Harry's room. He was standing by the window, a blanket draped over his shoulders. "Harry?"

"I'm so cold," he said softly. "Is it cold in here?"

"No, not really." She frowned. It was late in the afternoon, and though the dungeons were cooler than the Gryffindor Tower in the sunshine, it was still quite warm.

"Must just be me, then." Harry sat down distractedly on his bed. "I was going to take a nap. Wake me before the feast ok, Hermione?"

"No, I don't think so. We have to talk."

"Now?" He closed his eyes, sighing.

"What's going on with you Harry?" Hermione asked. "And don't say 'nothing'. Something's wrong, I know it."

"Maybe I'm still sick from the boomslang - "

"It has nothing to do with that, and you know it. Is it Malfoy?" Harry closed lips were firmly pressed together. "It is, isn't it? What's going on with you and him?"

"There is nothing going on." Harry was beginning to feel warm again.

"Yeah? Then why did you lie about seeing him the other night?"

"I . . . you . . . how did find out about that?" Harry sighed.

"I saw you on my way back to the castle with Snape." She lied without blinking an eye, thinking maybe she was a little _too_ good at the whole evil thing.

"I just didn't think it was important compared to your night." He shrugged. Would she believe that?

"Yeah? Why was Malfoy touching your face when I walked into the hospital wing?" She shot back.

"We were fighting."

"That's not what it looked like to me." Hermione raised a brow. "Looked to me like he was going to kiss you. And you wanted him to."

Harry flushed a little, recalling Malfoy sprawled beneath him, the sparks of their joined magic still in the air. He thought about Malfoy cupping his face and looking into his eyes with such intensity. "Well, he wasn't."

"Harry, please tell me you don't have a thing for Draco 'so-called-sex-god-of-Slytherin' Malfoy." In the back of her mind, as repulsive as the thought of her best friend involved with that insufferable twit was, a part of her was relieved. Maybe she could chalk up the moodiness to boy trouble. Maybe that was what had changed Harry and Draco's tempestuous relationship from rivals to . . . whatever this was.

"No, I . . . that's not the problem." Harry took a deep breath and looked into Hermione's concerned eyes. "What do you know about joined magic?"

"Practically nothing." She frowned. "I haven't spent a lot of time on mythology lately, because I wanted to concentrate on protection spells. But it _is_ a myth, Harry. Wizards can cast spells at the same time, but it's not the same as 'joined' magic."

"I know all of that, Hermione. But - " He stopped. Harry trusted her with his life, but maybe he should keep this to himself for a little while. He would sneak into the Restricted section of the Library later tonight and see what he could find out. "Nevermind. It was a stupid idea."

"Harry? What - "

"Really, forget it. I guess I was just shook up about the whole snake incident and some stuff Malfoy said." He smiled warmly at her. "Do you know where Snape is?"

"No! Why would I? It's not like I spend all my time with him or keep tabs on him or anything!" She asserted quickly. Then, she blew out a breath, sounding calm once more. "No, I don't."

He turned an amused face on her. "I wasn't suggesting anything of the kind. I was going to propose you take a nap with me, but I don't want Snape to zap me again."

"Oh, of course. Actually, when I left him, he was going to the potions room to check on something before dinner." She gave him a sheepish smile. He leaned back against his pillows and opened his arms to her. She curled up beside him, resting her head on his chest and he looped his arms loosely around here, effectively enveloping them both in the blanket, like two children hiding from their parents.

"So Hermione, answer a question for me."

"Sure."

"You were _forced_ to molest Snape, right?"

"Shut up, Harry."

****

* * *

Draco entered the seventh year dorm room, his temporary bedroom until the bed Dobby had destroyed was replaced. Quickly, he strode to the window and threw it open. He was still a little warm. After a moment, he pulled his shirt off and threw it across the room.

"Hey, dude! Watch it . . . I'm like, not a clothes hamper . . ."

"Haze? What are you doing in my room?" Draco asked through gritted teeth. He didn't need this right now. Fooling around with Harry Potter, magic moonbeams or some crap shooting off. . .things were getting pretty damn strange. He had a good idea about what had happened out there in the woods and he needed to figure out the ramifications of what that meant. Of course, maybe he was wrong. Maybe it was a fluke.

Hazelheart ducked out from under his shirt. "Harry put me and the book here."

Draco froze. "THE book?"

"Y'know . . ." Hazelheart stood up on his back legs and gestured dramatically. "Mr-I'm-Evil, no-really-really-evil!" Draco suppressed a smile. Haze continued sadly, "He ate my last Dorito."

"That's a shame." Draco had no idea what a 'Dorito' was, but there were more important issues at hand. "There better not be anything green and sticky on my stuff."

"Bookman's not that scary." Hazel sat back down, feeling a little dizzy. "What's up with you, dude?"

"What do you mean?" Draco was busy scanning the room, making sure there were no secretions on anything important.

"You're all flushed." Hazel concentrated for a moment. "Were you in a duel?"

"No."

"Oh." Hazel frowned. "Were you . . . like with someone . . . you know, like . . ."

"No, you must have smoked some bad stuff, it's making you see things." Having determined that Hazel hadn't messed anything up, he decided it was time for him to go. "I think you need to go now."

"Easy there. I was just asking." Hazel stumbled to his feet and ambled around in a circle before sitting down, heartbroken. "Oh, man, how do I get out of here?" Draco stared at him. "Well, don't you think I've been trying to leave? I was taking a little nap, and when I woke up, book was gone, Harry was gone. And the room's all round . . . " Hazel was starting to feel dizzy again.

Draco picked him up and started to toss him out the door, but then thought better about possibly scaring the furry little thing. He set him down gently outside the common room. Sitting down on one of the couches, he sighed. He would go to the library tonight and look for information in the Restricted section.

"For the last time, Malfoy, I said 'no'. You can stop prancing around half naked." Griff-Gruff smirked as he climbed up into his throne-like chair.

"I was on my way to the shower actually," Draco replied defensively.

"I understand. I want to shower after being in your company, too." Griff-Gruff scowled at him. "Don't use my shampoo. And soap scum - I better not see any in there after you're done, Malfoy."

****

* * *

Dr. Tatterton was awed by the night sky reflected in detail on the ceiling above The Great Hall. Beside him was Professor Snape, he was keeping step with him as they marched into the room for the feast. "Magnificent. Did you do this, Sevvie?"

Severus barely spared a glance. "No."

"I guess you're the strong silent type, right?" Troy asked, attempting to loop his arm through the professor's.

Severus nearly tripped as the other man grabbed his arm. "I wish you were, too." He scowled at the offending limb, expecting him to remove it at once.

"What are you doing after the dinner?"

"Unhand me, sir."

"I get it. You're playing hard to get. That's alright, I enjoy the chase as much as the next man." Troy winked at Severus before he strutted off to take his place under the Sorting Hat.

Being a Wizard of the world, Severus was familiar with both gay men and women. In fact, some of the Death Eaters were known to . . . experiment. However, he had never been interested in men. Although, he'd never had another man show any interest in him. It was disconcerting and he supposed he should be flattered but Dr. Tatterton was really not his type. He must have a talk with him soon but this wasn't the appropriate venue.

_"Boring Hat, where ya gonna put him?"_ Snarky asked. Snippy and Snarky were in the middle of Slytherin's table, anticipating the food.

_"I don't know yet,"_ the Sorting Hat snapped. _"I haven't sat on his head yet, have I?"_

_"Nothing like a 'hello, how are ya?' followed by a hat's ass on your head, eh?" _Snippy called. They both burst into wicked laughter.

The Sorting Hat had a red tinge to it as Professor McGonnagal picked it up and placed it on Dr. Tatterton's head. "Hmmm . . . very strange indeed. A Muggle's head . . . I've never sat on one before-"

The snakes burbled with laughter. _"Great. Boring Hat and his super ass get a new experience. Hurry it up, already!"_

_"Yeah! We've only had four meals today, we're starving!"_ Snarky admonished.

"Shut up snakes! Ambition . . . a very good mind. Cunning as well. Oh . . . and you're . . . well, so is-"

"Shhhh!" Troy whispered with a grin. "I'm aware of a certain professor's feelings for me."

"And slightly oblivious . . . Gryffindor!"

Usually, a raucous cheer would issue from a table, but Pansy and Draco managed a "whoo!" and some weak clapping. Pansy turned to Draco, putting her hand on his arm. "At least we have someone other than McGonagall to appeal to."

Draco shrugged her off, his mouth pursing in irritation. "Great, another Gryffindor to boss us around. And a muggle, at that."

"What's with you lately?" Pansy scowled. "Since when did you become Mr. Loner, hmm?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Draco crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back in his seat.

"You know exactly what it means. You barely talked to anyone at any of the summer parties. You never want to hang out now that we're here. You're always in a foul mood about something," Pansy pointed out. "You better be careful, or people will start to talk."

"Oh? And which people would these be?" He aimed a deadly look up at her through his lowered lashes. "You, perhaps?"

"Now, Draco, you know I'm your most devoted friend, but I have to consider larger issues," she demurred, her stomach fluttering with trepidation.

"Very true, Pansy," he conceded, his voice still filled with lethal intent. "You have your own neck to consider. So, listen to me very carefully. I want you to write a letter to your parents tonight, detailing my good humor, abundant charm and determined state of mind. I will read the letter, and watch you seal and send it. And if I hear anything contradicting that information, you will be held directly, and dearly, responsible. Am I clear?"

"Very clear." Her voice trembled a little.

"Calm down, Pansy." His hand cupped her face, but his grip, however gentle, was not soothing, and the smile on his face never warmed the glacier shards in his eyes. "I have a lot of extra-curricular activities coming up of an important persuasion. Obviously, I'm a little tense about completing them. You understand, right?"

"Yes, I do," she assured him. "I'll do it before I go to bed." He stared at her for a moment, before she pulled out of his grasp, promising, "I'll have that letter for you tonight, before you do rounds."

"Thank you." He dismissed her, not even bothering to glance at her again. His eyes sought Harry's and when they met the brilliant green gems, he couldn't resist giving him a wink, as a sly smirk slid across his lips. He whispered, "I have other business to attend to before bed."

****

* * *

"I'm sorry, what was that part about cheese again?"

"Not cheese," he gritted out. "Chi." He glared at her. "Try and pay attention."

"But I'm still hungry. Harry ate most of the food on our table." She pouted a little as she flounced down on his couch. "Maybe some brie, on a toasted baguette . . . or Bertie Bean Ice Cream. I hear they make a no-vomit-variety now."

Snape sighed. He had been trying to instruct her on the mental discipline needed for the tasks that lay ahead for the past hour, and so far had only managed to discuss reforming her diet to more protein based foods, and recounting several new ice cream flavors. "Perhaps we should explore some more practical applications."

"Does that mean you're going to teach me how to fight now?" Her eyes lit up.

"No."

"Oh." She bit her lip. "Then can we take a break for a snack?"

He sighed again in defeat and began searching his desk for a stash of chocolate the elves hid for him. He tossed her a few brightly wrapped objects and moved on to legal, though not ethical, spell work. He was not sure if it was the chocolate or the change of topic that motivated her, but she sat up, her eyes fixed on him. "First, I only keep that in case of a Dementor attack."

"Yes, I get it. You're too wicked to actually like chocolate for chocolate's sake." She waved a hand. " Go on." She mumbled around a piece of dark chocolate.

Severus was afraid that he'd lost his edge. She didn't even tremble anymore. "Now then, the subject of self defense."

"We're doing more than defense, right? Isn't the best defense a good offense?"

"I think you've got that the other way around, Hermione." Severus answered. "Anyway, the key to defending yourself is to catch your opponent unawares."

Hermione tossed a plastic covered piece of candy at him, hitting him square between the eyes. It bounced off and hit the floor. "Like that?"

Severus' expression didn't change. "I see we've mastered that technique. Although, I suggest you use something heavier than a sweet to lob at your opponents." He paused a moment. "As long as its not me."

"I told you, I'm done hurting you. You have nothing to worry about." Hermione put another piece of chocolate in her mouth. "What else?"

"Don't be afraid to fight, shall we say, dirty?" Hermione's hand moved. "Don't you dare try to demonstrate that technique."

"Spoilsport." She bit her lips, eyes glittering with anticipation. "Does that mean I get to kick Malfoy in the-"

"We'll see. Everything has a time and a place. You shall not be practicing this manoeuver on me either."

"Draco?"

"No." Her shoulders slumped. "However, I do have a spell for you."

She perked up at that. "A painful one?"

"Bloodthirsty little thing, aren't you?" Severus marveled.

"You don't get to be top of your class by being Miss Sunshine and Light."

"Alright then, the new spell is 'Flippendo'. This will allow you to flip an opponent, causing him or her to lose balance."

Hermione sighed. "Yes, yes. You flick the wand and say it and the person-" She broke off. "Does something that I know nothing about because . . . because I don't know that spell yet."

"Very convincing," he replied. "Come on then. Let's give it a whirl."

"I get to flip you?"

"Have at it. It's only going to happen once." Severus placed his arms at his sides and tensed his body up, preparing for the impact.

"You know, I dreamt about using this a couple of times, like when I got an A- or whenever you said something rude . . ."

"Hermione, Amnesty Day is over."

"Right, then." She arched her arm over her head and flicked it. "Flippendo!"

Severus spun on his side and landed harmlessly on the far couch. He caught his breath. "Excellent."

"Can I use it on Draco?"

He considered this. "You need the practice. Fire at will."

Hermione grinned.

****

* * *

Harry crept into the restricted section of the library, under the cover of his invisibility cloak. Technically, he was allowed in the section, and to wonder about the halls at night, for that matter, but he didn't want anyone asking him what he was researching. While Harry was a good student, for the most part, he was far from Hermione's level, and rarely remembered exact details of history lessons, or properties of plants. But, vaguely, he could recall learning something about joined magic. All he had to do was find the right books.

Harry removed his cloak in a swirl of motion, folding it over his arm. He took a moment to glance about the library, picturing his first year when he had snuck in here while in pursuit of the sorcerer's stone. How many times had he sat, stifling laughter, with Hermione and Ron? Harry smiled a moment, before he turned back to the task at hand.

He remembered that joined magic was a myth about wizards and power. It had something to do with a link between two wizards, but he couldn't remember what that link was or what it could do. And it increased the power of spells, but he wasn't sure how. What he did remember was that it was supposed to be a dark magic, and that supposed 'joined' wizards had been executed in the past for just that reason. They had been burned at the stake in a mass hysteria of fear about the power they could wield. Of course, all these wizard pairs were innocent, because joined magic is a myth, the text book had told them.

Harry ran his fingers over the spines of the books as he searched the shelf on Wizard Mythology. The library was a labyrinth in the half twilight, full of uncertain turns and hidden things, and he was anxious to get out into the fresh air. He leaned closer to the book case, reading the titles under his breath. A warm hand landed on his shoulder, startling him.

"Feeling a little jumpy, Hero?" Draco leaned one hip against the book case, smirking at him.

"Malfoy."

"Potter." Draco just regarded him with one eyebrow raised.

"What are you doing here?" Harry sighed.

"Exactly what you're doing here, I'd imagine." Draco turned and headed down a different aisle, Harry reluctantly following him. Draco seated himself on the corner of a table stacked high with various open books. Next to them lay a parchment with scrawled notes on it and a slightly chewed quill.

"What is all this?" Harry glanced from the table to Draco, catching his eye.

"What you're looking for, Hero." Draco smirked.

Harry pulled a chair back from the table, turning it backwards before straddling it. "And what is it I'm looking for?"

"Well, that's a loaded question, isn't it?" Draco gestured to the books. "However, we'll just talk about what you were looking for in the library."

"I'm waiting." Harry set his jaw.

"Symmetrius." Draco's voice sent a chill down Harry's spine. "It's Greek, for symmetry. I trust you understand the word?"

"Yes." Harry bit out. He tried to hold on to his temper. He wanted to know what was going on. "But what does it have to do with - "

"Us?"

"I was going to say 'joined magic'." Harry glared at him.

"Well done, Potter. You're not as idiotic as you look." Draco taunted. "Joined magic is only part of the picture, though, the active part. Symmetrius refers to the condition, if you will, of the wizards that performed joined magic."

"What's your point?"

"My point is, that's what happened last night." Draco gritted his teeth for a second before regaining his calm. Harry seemed very uncomfortable. "Or were you thinking that it was what? A fluke? A coincidence? Nothing at all?"

"Joined Magic is a myth." Harry raised his chin.

"So it is." Draco nodded. Harry stared back at him, his face impassive. Draco raised both eyebrows. "Nice try, Hero. I know the curiosity is killing you."

"Well then, why don't you satisfy that curiosity?" Harry asked, staring up at him.

"Quite an offer, Hero." Draco's smirk widened as a slight red hue crossed Harry's cheekbones. "Symmetrius is power, pure and simple. Shared power, Hero."

"Yeah? We already have power." Harry closed his eyes. "Us meaning Wizards that is."

"This is power untold, Hero. Power that surpasses Dumbledore's." Draco slid off the table, standing in front of Harry and leaning against the table. "Power that's stronger than Voldemort's wildest dreams."

"What are you saying?" Harry whispered, his heart skipping wildly.

"You know what I'm saying. This could be a chance at greatness. A chance to defeat Voldemort. To be a real hero." Draco's voice held a reverence Harry had never heard from him before.

"Greatness?" Harry echoed, his mind retreating to the day he had first grasped his wand, when he had been told that he could be great, like Voldemort. "Who says I want that?"

"Don't you?" Draco shot back.

"I thought joined magic was inherently dark," Harry pointed out.

"It's strong. Nothing is inherently dark." Draco answered with a shrug.

"Are you sure about that, Malfoy?" Harry stood, sweeping the cloak around himself, vanishing once more.

"Magic is magic, dark and light have to do with the wizard." Draco insisted to thin air.

"I know." And then he was gone, like there had been nothing there at all. Draco shivered.

****

* * *

"Are you alright, Severus?" Hermione asked gently.

He was stretched out on his back on the cold stone floor. His hair was mussed and his robes were disheveled. "I do believe that your aim is just fine." They had been practicing her use of defensive magick and she had knocked him about the room for the better part of three hours.

"Thanks." She smiled at him as she held out a hand to help him to his feet.

He took it gratefully and swept imaginary dirt off of himself as he put his clothing and hair to rights. "As always, you are a quick study, Miss Granger. I can only hope that you will master your new lessons as rapidly."

"Is this the physical stuff?"

Severus gazed at the wall. "In a manner of speaking."

Hermione moved into a fighting stance. "Well, come on then!"

"Do you normally punch your suitors?"

"My what-ers?"

"I thought that we could practice . . . that is . . . we shall have to appear . . . oh bloody hell. Let's go to the kitchens and get some food."

Hermione laughed. "Oh, you wanna kiss me, right?" Then, she blushed. "For practice, I mean . . . Voldemort. Big evil we need to defeat . . . by kissing."

"Er, yes. Come here, Miss Granger." He waved his hand, indicating the space in front of him.

Hermione dutifully walked over. "Okay, I'm here."

"Right then. I suppose we should commence with the kissing."

Hermione screwed her eyes shut, leaned forward and pursed her lips, pushing them out in front of her face in the style of a goldfish. Severus leaned down and was about to settle his mouth over hers when. . .

"Sarah Michelle Gellar! What are you two doing!?"

Hermione jumped away from her professor.

Severus shot him a dark look and said dryly. "Working on a potion."

"Um . . . uh . . . pucker potion." She pointed to her lips and they went into a pucker pose. "See?" She mumbled.

"And why would you do that?" Troy asked.

"We're wizards," Severus answered. "You wouldn't understand our ways."

"Are her lips going to stay like that?" Troy was concerned.

"Only until she leaves my classroom." Severus said, gesturing for Hermione to take her leave. She gave him a grateful look. "We'll continue this tomorrow."

"So," Troy said as soon as Hermione was out of earshot. "You wanna try that without the potion?"

"No," Snape growled.

"Just because you keep turning me down, doesn't mean I 'll stop asking. I'm persistent."

"Goody."

****

* * *

Draco walked swiftly through the hallways. Harry was fifteen minutes late for their round, so Draco decided to look for him. He had tried the library, the kitchen, and the owlery. Now he was headed to his bedroom. The outer password was easy enough. "Leo." After all, Hermione had picked up astrology in her fifth year. But the door to Harry's actual room was going to be trickier. Maybe he should just knock? Draco frowned. That wouldn't do.

"Parselmouth."

"Hero."

"Quidditch."

"Seeker."

"Snitch."Draco sighed. This was taking a long time. With a sardonic twist to his mouth, he tried, "Death Eater."

"Where?" At the voice, Draco jumped a foot in the air. "Feeling a little jumpy, Malfoy?"

"Potter." Draco sighed. "Where'd you come from?"

"The kitchen." At the confused look on Draco's face, Harry smiled and held up his invisibility cloak. "Been following you ever since."

"Why would you wear that cloak around the castle?" Draco glared at him.

"Sometimes it's hard to get alone time around here." Harry shrugged, a little surprised at the honesty of his answer. He looked at the door, he needed to get his broom. "Having a little trouble with the password?"

"My next guess was brown-noser." Draco shrugged. "I would've gotten it eventually."

"Of course." Harry grinned before turning to the door, "Symmetrius." Draco looked taken aback. "Welcome to my parlor."

Draco looked around the room. It really hadn't changed much since he had seen it the day he had come looking for Professor Snape. Harry's trunk rested at the end of his bed, closed. Hedwig's cage was in a corner. On the corner of the bedside table was a moving picture of Harry in quidditch robes horsing around with Ron and Hermione, both in Hogwart's robes and Gryffindor scarves. Other than that, Draco might have thought the room uninhabited. He met Harry's eyes. "Cozy."

Harry grabbed his broom. "Let's get this over with."

"What? No idle chit-chat? No humorous remarks to make the 'best of things'?" Draco pressed a hand to his chest. "I'm hurt."

Harry ignored him as he brushed by, headed for the exit. The moment they left the building, he was on his broom and in the air. They circled the castle twice before Harry decided to talk to Draco. "You're wrong, you know."

"About what, Hero?" Draco whooshed in beside him, flying parallel.

"I don't want to be great. I'm a wizard, and that's enough," Harry told him.

"Is that so?" Draco looked Harry over.

"Yes." Harry grimaced. For a moment he looked like he might elaborate, but he let the silence fall between them.

"Follow me." Draco turned abruptly and headed across the lake.

"Never," Harry whispered as he kept pace with the former Slytherin.

Draco landed softly, next to a cold bonfire pit near the forest. Sometimes he came here to be alone and to think. Other times, he had waited here for his father to Apparate and take him to secret meetings. Few students chose to walk along the lake this far, and any who did would be deflected by a spell his father had cast and never explained. He wasn't sure that Harry would be able to follow him here, but a second later, Harry touched down beside him.

"What are we doing here, Malfoy?" Harry asked impatiently.

"Call it a field trip, Hero." Draco set his broom against a tree. "We have to talk about what we did last night."

"Not interested." Harry placed his broom next to Draco's.

"Liar," he replied softly.

"Look, Malfoy. I know you have this idea that we have some big, important connection, that it means more than it does, but it was nothing. Meaningless." Harry stated coldly. "Let it go."

"Nothing was it?" Draco lifted his wand, then grabbed Harry's arm. "Lumos!"

White hot, searing light shot through the wand, so blindingly bright Harry had to look away. He turned back to find Draco regarding him with an expectant look. Mulishly, Harry refused to respond.

His eyes locked on Harry's, Draco dropped his wand, letting it roll until it hit Harry's shoe. Then he let go of Harry's arm, slowly entwining their fingers instead. "Right then. Explain this, Hero." He raised his free hand and pointed at the cold remnants of the last bonfire. As he spoke, his voice resonated in Harry's head, he felt the breath pass his vocal chords, inexorably pouring from him, forcing him to speak with Draco, like a cascade of echos. "Incendio, incendio, incendio!"

The embers burst into flames, licking at the sky, roaring like a pride of lions, hissing like a thousand serpents. Harry clutched Draco's hand, panting slightly, his evergreen eyes flickering with uncertainty, fear, excitement, and power.

"Want to try something harder?" Draco whispered, when he had recovered.

"Like what?" Harry's voice was hushed, hesitant as he was wracked with chills.

"Anything you want, Hero."

"That's quite an offer," Harry said softly. "Maybe some other time."

The firelight cast a warming glow on Draco's frost-hued skin as he circled Harry, trapping him between Draco's body and the fire, glad to be away from the inferno of heat. "Scared, Potter?"

"You wish." Harry scowled. "What do I have to be afraid of? You?"

"Being tempted," Draco answered.

"You think you tempt me?"

"I know I do." Draco's words hit Harry like a sucker punch.

"You don't tempt me enough to scare me." Harry tried to sneer, but his voice was breathless. He couldn't believe he had confessed that much.

"I think you scare you." Draco deliberately stepped forward. "Tell me you don't want that kind of power."

"I don't."

"I don't believe you, Hero," Draco countered. "You're telling me you don't want to kill Voldemort?"

"I don't want to kill anyone." Harry lowered his gaze, feeling his words to the marrow of his bones as he continued lowly, "Except maybe you, right now."

"You couldn't kill me, but I'll explain all that later. Right now, I want you to give me the truth, Hero." Draco grasped his shoulders and shook him until he looked up. "Tell me you're not tempted. That you wouldn't like to look into the eyes of the thing that killed your parents, whisper 'avada kedavra' and watch him leave this world for good?"

Harry froze. "You think we could do that?"

"I know it," Draco whispered.

"Isn't he your boss?"

"Not yet. Not if we can kill him." Draco noted the hunger in Harry's eyes. "You see? You do want the power, just as much as I do."

Harry shook his head as if to clear it. "But we know exactly why I want that power. Joined Magic has been linked to darkness for a reason."

"Well, power has corrupting tendencies. But surely, the Great Harry Potter could resist the darkness," Draco mocked. Harry pushed past him, away from the warming fire. "Or maybe not. Is that what you meant in the library today?"

Harry nodded, almost imperceptibly. "Destiny is defined by our choices." Harry tilted his head towards the sky. "And I refuse to make the wrong ones."

"Now is not the time for nobility, Hero. Now is the time for strength. If you want to win the upcoming war, you might have to let that shining armor get a little tarnished." Draco stared at his back. "Besides, if you're afraid the darkness will touch you, it's too late."

Harry whirled around. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't I? Let's face it, you have a dark side, Hero, and it's bigger than anyone could have imagined. You go to bed at night dreaming in greens the shade of the Killing Curse," Draco sneered at him. "You have a new obsession, and it's not quidditch, Potter. It's revenge and death, and you can't get away from it. There's one hell of a villain inside of you, Hero."

"Shut up, Malfoy." Harry spat the words out. "I'm not a dark wizard, and I never will be." He wasn't sure who he was convincing, Draco or himself.

"But you do want revenge, don't you, Harry? For your parents? For Cedric?" Draco's voice turned soft as he placed his hand on Harry's shoulder. "It can be done. I can help you."

"Why would you want to help me, Malfoy?" Harry's eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Why not?" Draco smirked. "You can fight it all you want, Hero. We are Symmetrius. You can't change that anymore than you can change death . . . or darkness." Harry looked away, his face shrouded in darkness. "Funny thing about shadows, Hero. You can pour light into a room, but you'll never get rid of all of them."

"It's getting late." Harry looked lost for a moment, an expression so vulnerable it made Draco's stomach twist. Then his face returned to the grim mask he had worn for most of the conversation. "I've had enough of this for tonight."

"What's the matter, Hero? Am I getting a little too close to the truth?" Draco taunted him, watching the Boy Who Lived as he turned to stare into the depths of the Forbidden Forest.

"Nothing you say can bother me, Malfoy," Harry snarled softly into the darkness.

"It's true, isn't it?" He stepped closer, standing just behind the dark-haired boy. He placed his hand back on his shoulder and whispered. "I can feel it inside you, Potter. The darkness, the death - it's already inside you. Nobody survives what you have without being touched by it."

"And what about you? Are you untouched by all of this?" Harry whirled around. He wasn't sure what 'all of this' referred to - the strange connection he was feeling toward Malfoy, the upcoming fight, the past ones.

"No, I'm not untouched. Not hardly. Not remotely." In a surprisingly tender gesture, Draco reached over and smoothed black hair away from Harry's scar. "But then no one comes away from exposure to the light untouched either."

"What are you . . ." Harry broke off, bewilderment stretching across his features.

"Shhh, Hero." He placed a finger against his lips. Then he leaned down and kissed Harry's scar, feeling the boy tremble as he did so. "Excites you doesn't it? The unadulterated wrongness of it?"

"Wrong. Couldn't think of a better word to describe it." Harry stepped back. "What are you trying to do?"

"Trying?" Malfoy scoffed. "Succeeding. Confess, Potter. You're not quite the hero everyone thinks you are, not anymore. You just took a detour toward dark and it's not an easy path. I know you think you're strong, and I know exactly how strong and how powerful you are, you will be. And if you're not careful, you're not going to come back from that dark place, Potter. And not even Dumbledore will be able to save you. Or us."

"And you're going to save me?" Harry drawled. "You have no idea what it means to be a hero."

"I didn't say I was going to save you." Draco smirked. "I just want you to be aware of where you're dragging us down to."

"Me?"

"Yes, you, Hero." He looked into Harry's eyes. "You, with that venomous green all around you, you the golden boy of Hogwart's. I want to make it clear to you. I know what you are. I know what you need."

"By kissing me?" Harry smirked, the drawling sarcasm dripping off his words enough to make any Malfoy proud. He brushed his fingers over his scar.

"That wasn't kissing you. That was kissing a talisman, your connection to darkness and the Wizarding world's bridge to salvation." Draco eyes deepened to a molten silver swirling with power, intensity, passion. He cradled Harry's face firmly in his hands. "This is kissing you." Draco's lips lowered, suddenly capturing Harry's in a kiss of fire and pain.

Harry tried to pull back, but Draco followed him, backing Harry up until they were leaning against a tree. Shivers raced through his nerves, his body going up in flames as Draco pressed against him, stroking their mouths together in a searing caress. Finally Harry gasped for air, and Draco took full advantage, thrusting his tongue into Harry's mouth in nothing short of a full invasion. Harry moaned softly in the back of his throat, his hands circling the other boy's biceps, gripping him tightly as he kissed him back. Draco's passion felt like flying, like dying. Kissing him was like diving out of towers into the dark night.

Draco broke off the kiss, panting slightly. "Run back to your tower, Hero. Try and convince yourself that you didn't enjoy every second of that. And then convince yourself you really want nice and safe and normal. You can come find me when you're ready to face the truth."

"And what truth is that?" Harry's fingers still dug into Draco's arms.

"That there's more going on here than right and wrong. It's about power, Harry. And survival. And us. It's about us. Like it or not, you need me, Hero." Draco turned, sweeping back towards the castle. He did not look back.


	11. Implosions

**TITLE:** Trading Spaces 11

**RATING:** R (slash warning m/m)

**PAIRING:** HG/SS, HP/DM, HP/HG (friendship)

**Chapter Eleven: Implosions **

****

* * *

Dr. Tatterton rapped on the open door of Professor Snape's rooms. "Knock knock. Are you in there, Sevvie?" There was no answer, but never one to be deterred, he entered anyway. He was instantly impressed with the other man's surroundings. They suited him . . . dark, mysterious, and a little cold. He found the good professor seated in a leather chair in front of the fireplace. Severus was surrounded by a half dozen books and was deep in thought.

Severus didn't even look up. "Hermione, did you bring your notes on - "

"No, I'm not your student assistant." Troy raised one wicked eyebrow. "Unless you like that sort of thing. We could roleplay."

"Don't elaborate." The Potions Master pinched the bridge of his nose. "I beg you."

"So, what are you doing? All cooped up in here with the doom and gloom?"

"I'm working on potions," Severus said tiredly. "Is there some purpose to your visit? And for pity's sake, make it a quick one."

"I was thinking," Troy moved closer to him, coming to stand behind his chair. "That we could get to know each other . . ." He bent down and whispered the last part in the other man's ear. "A little more intimately."

"Intimately?" He echoed. Severus was flummoxed.

Troy came around to the front of Snape's chair, his knee lightly brushing Severus' own. "I want to be . . . closer."

"Closer . . oh . . . closer." He nodded. Severus was too absorbed in his 'let him down easy' plan to pay attention to the other man's signals. "Yes, I suppose we have to . . . manage this situation." He was striving to be tactful, something that was very difficult for him on the best of days.

Troy chuckled. "So very British . . . all stammery and formal." He grinned. "Don't worry, I'll take care of everything." He closed in on the other man.

****

* * *

Hermione Granger shifted the books in her arms and gritted her teeth. She must have checked out half of the restricted section in the library. Plus, she had several folders filled with her notes stacked on top. As she rounded the corner, she heard two voices coming from Severus' study. She approached silently, ever mindful of a Death Eater visit.

Hermione carefully leaned around the corner and what she saw almost caused her to lose her hold on her books. "Holy Merlin!"

Severus and Dr. Tatterton were smooching. Actually, it was one of the clumsiest kisses she'd ever seen. Severus' eyes were open and he looked a little shocked.

"He's gay!!" She asked quietly, trying to ignore the sharp feeling of disappointment. Severus, not Tatterton of course. Well, he'd given a good straight impression. Unless, he was bisexual. She stealthily made her way back to the foyer and set down the books and notes for Severus. She didn't want to disturb him when he was otherwise, er, occupied.

She pulled the door shut quietly behind herself and went down the hall. For some reason, with every step, she grew more and more angry. How could he do this to her? Severus was her fake boyfriend! He was faux cheating on her with a male Muggle. She stopped in the corridor and pushed herself into one of the darkened corners to wipe away the angry tears that were falling. "Get a hold of yourself, Hermione. He's just your professor."

"Aww . . . poor little Hermione. Did you have a fight?"

She looked up to see a gloating Draco Malfoy. "Shove off, Malfoy."

"Or what? You'll chastise me? Ooh, I'm scared." He wondered just how much she knew about what was going on between himself and her best friend.

She withdrew her wand and yelled, "Flippendo!"

Draco was blasted backwards and hit the wall. Then, he slowly slid to its base. "Owww. Bloody hell! I was only teasing."

"Well, I wasn't amused," she said with a huff. Draco probably knew all along. Hadn't he insinuated that he was more than friendly with the good professor? " I don't like to find out my . . . friend's are gay by watching them suck face with some . . . some . . . guy slut." She stalked off.

Draco's lower lip puffed out. "I'm not a slut."

To add insult to injury, the snakes slithered by. They were "thee thee thee-ing" alright, but this time, he thought he heard something else. Like words coming from their mouths instead of the hissing. Draco frowned, maybe he'd hit his head harder than he thought.

****

* * *

Harry stood speechless, leaning against the tree for support. Draco had just kissed him. He repeated the sentence over and over again in his head, trying to make it sink in. The Slytherin Sex God had just kissed him. And Merlin help him, he had loved every second of it. The fight, the tension, the fear. Malfoy had been able to see through every image that Harry projected to the thing that Harry was most afraid of, becoming the next Voldemort. A great wizard, with too much power and a thirst for death and revenge.

Everything Draco had said to him felt true. He didn't just want to see Voldemort dead, he wanted to see the bastard die by his own hands. He wanted to strike out at the thing that had taken so much from him. His parents, the childhood he should have had, the simple pleasures of Hogwarts, guiltless nights filled with restful sleep instead of restless nightmares filled with blame over the death of Cedric.

Since he had seen the green light envelop Cedric and the boy fall at his side, he had been dreaming about that light. He knew he could make that light happen, could hold life and death in his hands, could finally be in control. And the thought brought him peace. And that scared the spit out of him. But how had Malfoy known all of that? At first he thought Draco had just made some lucky guesses, shots in the dark, really. But now he wasn't so sure. He thought back to the day in the Hospital wing when Draco had figured out that Harry had told the Sorting Hat not to put him in Slytherin. How had Draco known? He must have intuited it somehow. Did it have to do with being Symmetrius?

Feeling a little steadier on his feet, Harry slowly began to walk back, clutching his broom in one hand. If Malfoy could figure out stuff about him, then surely, he could figure out stuff about Malfoy, right? He concentrated, focusing his thoughts on the blond, but his mind kept drifting back to that kiss. The feel of Malfoy's hands on his face, then in his hair, fingernails lightly scratching the skin of his neck. The weight of his body pushing him against the tree. The hush of his breath on Harry's face, the heated velvet of his lips stroking his mouth, the forceful invasion of his tongue . . . Harry shivered again.

In his fifth year, he had kissed a few girls. Well, two. Hermione and Ginny, both during a game of truth or dare. It had been hesitant and awkward, and pleasant in a friendly sort of way. A few months later, he had been kissed by a slightly intoxicated Ravenclaw seventh year, after a late night practice match. The Ravenclaw boy hadn't been hesitant or awkward, and the kiss had been pleasant in an entirely not friendly sort of way. Two weeks later, he had told Hermione he might be gay. After that, he'd dated a few guys in other years, but nothing had compared with what had happened tonight. He had felt connected, felt an energy flow that had never been there before. Harry was sure that Draco had a lot of experience in the kissing department, but there was more to it than just finesse. Yet, despite the kiss, or maybe fueled even more because of it, he still hated Malfoy. But now, the anger, and resentment was edged with something more dangerous.

He sighed. Maybe he should talk to Dumbledore about this. He pondered that for a moment as he opened the doors and stood in the Great Hall, but decided he would wait until the school year was well underway. The older wizard had enough on his plate with getting the school up and running, and protecting it from Death Eaters. He didn't need Harry's problems, too. Harry started towards the Slytherin Rooms, but on second thought, turned and headed towards the kitchens. He found the correct picture, tickled a fruit and stepped inside.

"Harry Potter!"

"Hello, Dobby." Harry sighed again and sat down on a stool. "I hate to ask favors so late at night, but do you think I could get something to eat?"

"Of course!!" Dobby jumped up and down, motioning for other elves to help him. "Whatever Harry Potter wants?"

"How about some eggs and toast? And a spot of tea, thanks." Harry leaned his head back against the wall, closing his eyes.

_"Eggssss? At this hour?"_

_"Look how rumpled and confused he is. The Sex God strikessss again! Thee, thee, thee . . ."_

"Oh no. Not you two." Harry shook his head. "What are you talking about?"

_"What's a matter, Harry? Didn't you miss ussss?"_ Snippy chuckled.

_"We're talking about your cravings . . ."_ Snarky smirked.

"What cravings?" Harry asked sharply.

_"For late night eggs, of course."_ The snake flickered his tongue at Harry_. "There are only two reasons people want late night eggs, in our considerable experience."_

_"Drinking or ssssex,"_ Snippy confirmed, dodging the elf bringing Harry's toast and tea. _"And we know Harry Potter would never drink while on rounds. . ."_

_"But he does do rounds with the former prince of Slytherin."_ Snarky slithered up Harry's arm. _"By process of elimination . . ."_

_"Yeah . . . that must've been what Hermione meant when she told Draco she didn't want her friends kissing guy sluts!"_

"She said what?!" Harry looked confused.

_"You heard me. GUY SLUTS! Right before she kicked his ass."_ The snakes exchanged a laugh. _"Guess she knows about you and Malfoy having sex and she was not happy."_

"I did not have sex with Malfoy!" Harry shouted as he finally connected the dots. The house elves stopped to stare at him for a second, before continuing about their duties. By the looks they gave each other, it was obviously a remark heard often in the kitchens late at night.

Snarky took a bite of his toast. _"Uh-huh."_

_"And the new muggle studies teacher is looking for a nice girl to settle down with."_ Snippy snickered as Harry tried to bat him away from his tea.

"What?" Harry brandished a fork at Snarky to warn him off the plate of eggs being set before him.

_"You know, he's fishing on the other side of the lake."_ Snippy grinned. _"Kinda like you and Draco."_

"How'd you know about that?" Harry's mind stuck on the word 'lake'.

_"Know about what?"_ Snarky asked, ducking Harry's fork to steal some eggs anyway. _"Hmm, needs salt."_ Then realization dawned. _"Oh! Is that where you shagged Malfoy? By the Lake? It's the only decent smooch spot."_

"I did not shag Malfoy!" Harry blushed as again the house elves exchanged another look. Snarky stole a salt shaker from one of them and began sprinkling it on Harry's eggs, while Harry tried to take it from him.

Snippy gave him a suspicious look as he swallowed another bite of toast. Carefully he crawled up Harry's arm, head darting back and forth as he examined Harry's neck. _"Then who scratched you? The Giant Octupus?"_

Harry's eyes remained on Snarky. "Stop putting pepper on those!"

Snarky spat out a bite of egg on Harry's lap, looking nauseated. _"It wasn't Hiney, was it? Tell me you didn't shag Hiney!"_

Harry was too busy staring in disgust at the slimy clump of egg on his pants to reply.

_"I'm pretty sure that's not the kind of 'hiney' Harry's interested in. Thee, thee, thee . . ."_ Snippy shot back before diving headfirst into Harry's tea cup. He popped back up. _"You need more lemon."_

"I don't like lemon." Harry frowned, wiping his leg off with a napkin.

_"What's your point?"_ Snippy asked as he tossed two lemon slices into the cup.

"That's it! If you two don't stop eating my food and accusing me of sleeping with people, I'm going to feed you to the spiders!"

Both snakes paused, mouths open in preparation of finishing off his eggs, and turned to stare at him. Snippy frowned, _"That's not funny, Harry."_

_"Not very smart, either. We know where you sleep."_ And with that, they proceeded to clean his plate.

****

* * *

Rune stalked back and forth in the Ravenclaw Common Room. How could Severus do this to her? She had been replaced by an overzealous Gryffindor Prefect. Well, technically a Slytherin Prefect. Hey! That explained it! He was just showing House favoritism. She hung her head. Mascots could not switch houses. How would she get his attention?

A loud crash startled her out of her self pity. Turning quickly, she saw the Evil Book run down the stairs from the prefects rooms, shouting in triumph. "Ha-ha! You'll never get all your shoe laces untangled! I told you I was evil!"

Shrieks of outrage and frustration came from the transplanted Hufflepuffs. Inspiration struck. She couldn't get into Slytherin, but she could be more like a Slytherin! She fluffed her feathers out. If she wanted Snape's attention, she was going to have to be sneaky, ambitious, maybe even a little . . . evil. And she knew exactly who could help her with that. "Sheldon?"

"Rune!" The book skipped over to her. "Did you see the evidence of my evil nature up there? Not only have I tied all their shoelaces together, but I have also unwound all of their dental floss!"

"Wow. You really are evil, aren't you?" She smiled at him.

"Yes, yes I am." The book looked proud that someone had finally realized just how bad he could be. "Maybe tomorrow, I'll squeeze their toothpaste tubes from the wrong end and rearrange their knick-knacks."

"That's so . . ." She paused, trying to look impressed. "Evil."

"Isn't it?" He smirked back at her.

"Sheldon, would you help me with something?"

"Is it evil? Oh! Do you want me to mess up Snape's classroom again? Or unalphabetize his books?" The book rustled its pages together with glee.

"Um, no. Do you think you could teach me to be evil?"

"You want to be evil?" He seemed shocked, but quickly recovered. "It's me, isn't it? I'm a bad influence on you! I corrupted you! You have been won over to the dark side."

She sighed heavily. The things she did for Severus. Deadpan, she replied, "Yes, yes. You're evil nature was too tempting to resist. Now, will you help me or not?"

"Certainly. Recruiting is part of the whole evil plan." Sheldon smiled. "What would you like to do first? I was on my way to release all the bludgers in the Quidditch equipment closet."

She frowned. The closet was dark and smelled musty, but she supposed some sacrifices had to be made in the name of evil. "Right then."

"You came to the right book. I'll teach you everything I know." He stopped at the door to look back at her. "But understand, you will never be as evil as me."

"Understood."

"Ever." The book added for dramatic effect. "Because I'm the - "

"Blackest Magic?"

"Ever."

****

* * *

Malfoy settled into his chair in his room, ice pack clutched to his back, face deeply creased in thought. His father would be expecting a letter soon, and he had quite a lot of developments to inform him of. He scowled. He would not be telling him about getting thrown across the room by Granger. But how much was safe to tell him? Lucius was proud of his son, and the power that he was coming into. But as Symmetrius, he could now tap into power his father would never wield. Would that make him prouder, or label him a threat to his father's considerable ambition? To add to the complications, his symmetrical partner was Harry Potter. Would that connection be seen as helpful or as a sign of weakness, that maybe Draco wasn't as connected to the darkness as they thought?

Draco's mind drifted back. He hadn't taken Harry out to the lake to kiss him. He just wanted to unsettle the golden boy, make him think a little. So much of Harry's actions were based on whims or instinct. But Harry's anger was intoxication. He could feel the power stirring in Harry, and provoking him, shocking him, was addictive. Draco was well aware of how attractive he was. Voldemort had said himself that it was one of his most valuable assets, an advantage he could rely on in difficult situations. So, he had used the advantage against Potter. However he had not expected such intensity to accompany one kiss, had not realized how badly he would want . . . well.

Draco has assumed Harry would taste innocent, like summer sun or vanilla ice cream. He was wrong. Harry Potter tasted like the adrenaline that raced through Draco when he pursued the snitch. Harry tasted like the Forbidden Forest encompassed in a black velvet night before a storm when all was still. His grip on his arms had been bruising, but the feel of his skin was like the satin lining Draco's Death Eater's cloak. The kiss had produced a heat that shocked Draco, inflaming his blood as it raced through his veins. Harry's kiss was spiced with emerald venom.

Malfoy was certain the intensity was a byproduct of being Symmetrius. To think, had he never cast that spell with Potter, he would never have known his true potential for greatness. His eyes narrowed. This past year, Draco had done a lot of thinking, and come to several conclusions. The time for caution was over. It was time to act. So, while his father plotted with Voldemort, Draco made his own plans, and being Symmetrius would help those plans along nicely. Draco never ignored, nor failed to realize, an opportunity knocking. But only if he could make Potter cooperate. Pushing Harry towards the darkness Draco saw in those green eyes was a big risk, but one he was willing to take. Every wizard thought they knew the great Harry Potter, but they were all in for a big surprise. Harry was on the verge of detonation, and whether it was implosion or explosion changed every day. If Draco pushed him off the right edge . . . if he played his hand well . . . a smile danced across his slightly bruised lips, his decision made. Now was not the time to tell his father. He needed to work on his new found power. And he wasn't about to let one Harry Potter stand in his way.

****

* * *

Snape swished the blue minty potion around his mouth one more time before spitting it into the sink. He wasn't sure why there was such a large supply of the good breath potion stocked up in his office and his rooms, but he was willing to take advantage of it. Striding quickly out of the room, he glanced at the grandfather clock. The two snakes that served as hands were hissing that it was past eight-thirty, Hermione was really late. He frowned. That wasn't like Hermione, he hoped that nothing had happened to her. However, his grim thoughts were interrupted when he saw the pile of books lying next to the door. She had been here! Why would she have left without . . . oh, no! She couldn't possibly have seen. . .Snape clapped a hand over his eyes and groaned. He had to find her and somehow figure out how much she had seen. Damn Tatterton!

He headed down the hall, hoping to find her somewhere close. She had made it quite clear that she was uncomfortable with him approaching her bed chamber. He refused to blush. Not that he wanted to approach her in her bed chamber. That was just where she had happened to be when he needed her. Needed her in a completely platonic, academic sort of way of course. He frowned again. Hearing voices around the next corner, he slowed to listen, not wanting to run into the Muggle Professor.

"No! Its not possible." It was Griff-Gruff, and he sounded incredulous and yet, delighted with whatever he had just been told.

"Dude, I saw it with my own two eyes. I was right there and it was like, woah . . ." The slow paced voice was easy to recognize. Hazelheart.

"Were you in the company of Sprout at the time?" Griff-Gruff asked suspiciously.

"No, man! I was just chillin' by myself, real mellow, y'know. And there they were . . . talking. But, you know there was a certain vibe to it. And then bam! Fireworks."

"They were really . . ."

"Yup, really, really, really," he said firmly. "I suspected something about those two . . . they're giving off a different sort of vibe lately, y'know."

Snape sagged against the wall. If mascots knew it would be all over the school in no time. He walked around the corner.

"Gnarly, dude! Where'd you come from? That's really spooky, man, all appearing from nowhere, like whoosh . . . here I am." Haze nearly fell over in surprise. "How'd you do that?"

"I'm evil." Snape flashed them a smirk.

"Dude, you're scarier than the book, man . . ."

Severus started out slowly. "Hazelheart, Griff-Gruff . . .I heard what you were saying,"

"Eaves-dropping were we, Severus? How Slytherin of you, I must say, I'm shocked . . . oh, wait. No, I'm not." Griff-Gruff sighed.

"Listen, it would be in the best interest of everyone involved if no one else knew what happened." Snape tried to sound polite.

"Would it?" Griff-Gruff sounded unconcerned.

Severus gritted his teeth. "My point is I would rather you didn't say anything about this to anyone else."

"So, let me get this straight. You're asking us to keep this a 'dirty little secret'?" Snape nodded. "In other words, you want a favor."

Haze's head whipped back and forth between the two. "Sure man -"

"Shut up, Haze." Griff-gruff grinned. "Severus hasn't said the magic word yet."

Snape crossed his arms over his chest, a muscle working in his jaw. "Or else?"

"No, that's two words." He pondered this a moment. "You know who should hear about this?" Griff-Gruff turned to Haze who shook his head. "The book. And Snippy and Snarky."

Snape gasped. "You wouldn't!"

Griff-Gruff raised a fuzzy brow and smirked. "What was that . . . Sevvie?"

Snape groaned. "Please. Please keep this to yourselves."

"Certainly." Griff-Gruff smiled. "C'mon, Haze. I feel kind of peckish, and I know you want a snack."

The two headed off to the dungeons, leaving Snape to continue his search for Hermione. When they were out of earshot, Hazel turned to Griff-Gruff. "Why do you think he cares so much about Harry and Draco kissing?"

"Who knows with Slytherins?" Griff-Gruff shrugged.

****

* * *

Hermione paced back and forth in front of the Slytherin fireplace, in an attempt to expend enough energy to calm down. Had she really just seen what she had really just seen? And, more importantly, why was it bothering her so much? She felt like screaming or crying or giving Tatterton a black eye.

"Hermione, there you are." Severus actually looked relieved to see her. "And . . . how are you this evening?" Translation: did you see me kiss another male earlier?

"Fine, just fine." Hermione folded her arms over her chest. "Oh, um, are you wondering why . . . sorry I'm late for our meeting."

"It's alright. I was, er, tied up for a while."

"Ewww," she said automatically and the professor gave her a startled look. Her eyes widened. "Ewww . . . there's bug parts on the floor." She pointed vaguely to the left.

"Oh, yes, quite a few of those." He spread his arms, indicating the snakes enthusiastically squishing an arachnid in the corner. "Snippy and Snarky's latest spider slaughter soiree."

"Yep. Insects." The snakes, having finished with their massacre, slithered over to listen in.

"Arachnids, actually."

"Oh, right. Of course." She rocked back and forth on her heels, uncomfortably biting her lip.

"I see that you left your materials in my rooms. Did you stop by earlier and . . . see me?"

The gig was up. "Yes, I was there but you were, well, busy."

"I see. There's something you should know about Dr. Tatteron, and me. Not that we're-"

"I think I figured it out on my own," Hermione said, really not wanting to have this discussion.

Severus relaxed. She was a very bright girl, she'd no doubt deduced what had happened. "Oh, then you know that I'm not-"

_"Not what?"_ Snippy hissed. _"Hygiene savvy?"_

_"Polite?"_ Snarky guessed.

_"Pretty?"_ Snippy offered.

_"A people person?"_ Snarky wondered.

Straight? "Yes, got that message loud and clear. Although, I must say you were pretty convincing." She was talking about their little display for the Death Eaters.

"Well, erm, thank you. I suppose." He frowned. "I want you to understand that I don't usually do that sort of thing - "

_"What sort of thing? This is like word Charades or something. Can I buy a friggin' vowel?"_ Snippy was growing impatient.

_"Harry! We need a translator!" _Snarky sighed. _"He's never around when you need him to snoop!"_

_"Yeah, hero showing up at just the right time, my shiny white fang!"_ Snippy griped.

"In school? Well, yeah, I sort of gathered that," she said slowly.

"Ever. As a matter of fact, I've never -"

"So! How about those Death Eaters, huh? Scary, scary." She did not want to know the extent of his expertise.

"Hermione, I think I know why you're so uncomfortable with what happened." He motioned for her to sit down across from him.

She took a seat, folding her hands."You mean because you're supposed to be my boyfriend?" And you're gay! She added in her head.

_"Supposed to be her what?!"_ Snippy was shocked. _"When did that happen?"_

_"What is this? Dating rituals for the smart and painfully shy?" _

"Yes, but I assure you, there will never be anything between that Muggle and I," he said with utmost sincerity.

_"He's dating a Muggle too?"_ They both asked.

"Oh, you don't have to not - I mean, we're not actually 'together'." She didn't want him to repress this side of himself. Her forehead creased. Maybe he wasn't ready to come out yet. It had taken Harry awhile to tell everyone.

_"So, what? They're just sleeping together?"_ The snakes both shuddered at that knowledge.

_"I tell you what, morals in this school are going down hill! She hasn't even been a Slytherin for a full term yet."_ Snarky added.

"No, I don't want to do anything with Tatterton," he said firmly. "Ever."

The snakes turned to look at each other with wide-eyed looks. _"Oooh, Tatterton!"_

_"Hello! I'm interested again,"_ Snippy said.

"Is it because he's a Muggle?" How did he feel about non-purebloods?

"No, it's because I'm -"

_"Rude?"_

_"Mean?"_

_"Old? I mean, really, old!"_

_"Stinky?"_ The broke into a chorus of laughter.

Severus turned and glared at them. He wasn't sure what they were saying, but he now recognized their snickering.

_"Woah, Stinky. Don't glare at me now."_ Snarky snickered.

_"Okay, Used to Be Stinky. Feel better?"_

Snape scowled malevolently.

The snakes took a slither back. _"It's like that movie we saw."_

_"What movie?"_ Snarky asked.

_"You know, the one with that guy. The guy who killed and ate people."_

_"With fava beans?"_

_"What the hell is a fava bean?" _Snippy shrugged. _"But yeah, that's the one. Any moment he's going to turn around and say . . . "_ He used his deep, dark, scary voice. _"Hello, Clarice. . ."_

They both shuddered.

Hermione waved her hand to get his attention. "If you want to tell your Death Eater friends that we broke up because you don't want to be associated with impure blood -"

_"They're breaking up already?"_ Snippy looked disappointed. _"That should have been at least a month or two of jokes!"_

"No, I don't want to break up with you, I mean pretend to break up with you." He sighed. Why wasn't she getting this? Maybe . . . oh no. An awful thought occurred to him. "You want to break up with me, don't you?"

"No!" She denied.

"There's someone else, right? It's Potter, isn't it?"

Snarky touched his tail to his forehead. _"Oh, no. Harry . . ."_

_"He didn't! He wouldn't!"_ Snippy denied. _"He's shagging Malfoy."_

"When is everyone going to give up on that? I am NOT sleeping with Harry!" She could feel her cheeks heating up. "In case you haven't noticed, Captain Oblivious, Harry is GAY!! I'd think you'd recognize the signs!"

Snape stood slowly, frowning at her. "What did you call me?"

_"Captain Oblivious, you twit." S_nippy sighed.

_"No wonder she wants to break up with you for a gay guy." _

"You heard me." Hermione stood up and held her ground. "And, if we're going to continue being 'involved', I won't be cheated on!"

Severus blinked, startled at her display of temper. She sounded almost . . . possessive. "Alright. However, I expect the same consideration. They're will be no more lounging around on Harry's bed."

_"Oh, man! We'll have to hang out in her room now? Its is all lacy and stuff," _Snippy whined.

_"And all those damn flowers,"_ Snarky complained.

"Okay," Hermione agreed. She walked around the table."I think we should, um, seal the deal."

"With a handshake?"

Snippy rolled his eyes. _"No, Captain Oblivious." _

"Oh, right then, for the sake of our agreement." He too made his way around the table.

The snakes slipped up onto the table and punctuated their chants with tail swipes. _"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"_

They both closed the distance between then, feeling somewhat awkward. Severus lowered his head and she stretched up on her tiptoes. Her arms slid around his shoulders and his hands settled on her waist Their lips almost met when the professor shot a glare at the snakes.

"They're watching us," he whispered to her.

_"Yeah, and listening too, moron,"_ Snippy snapped.

_"Kiss her, you fool!"_

Severus broke the embrace and stepped towards them.

_"Not me! Her!"_ Snippy cried.

He plucked the snakes from their table. "I can't . . . not while they're here."

"I know. Me either." She watched him reluctantly move to the exit.

"Well, I guess this is goodnight, Hermione. I have some notes to go over. Classes start tommorow."

"Goodnight, Severus."

Snarky turned to Snippy, they were still held in the grasp of the Head of Slytherin. _"He doesn't have any fava beans, does he?"_

_"How would we know if he did?"_

They shrugged.


	12. Death Eaters Suck

**TITLE:** Trading Spaces 12

**RATING**: R (slash warning m/m)

**PAIRING:** HG/SS, HP/DM, HP/HG (friendship), RW/HG/HP (friendship)

**Chapter Twelve: Death Eaters Suck**

****

* * *

Severus Snape was seated at his desk preparing the first lesson of the school year. Try as he might, he couldn't concentrate on the task at hand. His troubled thoughts circled around one Hermione Granger. The girl was a marvel and it was an understatement to say that he was impressed with both her intelligence and her resourcefulness. However, his admiration didn't trouble him. This was an acceptable feeling to have for a student. Appropriate. His other feelings for the girl were decidedly inappropriate.

Severus supposed that it was only natural. They had leapt over that boundary between teacher and student the night of that meeting. They hadn't even had a chance to mull over the ramifications of those actions. And Hermione and himself were spending a great deal of time alone together as well. It was to be expected that his thoughts drifted to her. She was a beautiful young woman and he was no different than any other man. Except that he was her teacher and she entrusted herself into his care. It would be unconscionable to violate that trust by making this into more than what it was. No matter how much he might want to.

Severus was saved from his thoughts by the sound of a bird's wings. He turned around and approached what he assumed was his own owl only it wasn't. Instead, a large raven sat on the window sill. Its oily black feathers and regal bearing were unmistakable. Tied around its leg was a piece of black parchment paper . . . a Death Eater missive.

"How. . . banal." Severus commented as he plucked the message from the bird's leg. "I don't suppose your going to croak 'Nevermore', are you?" The bird was wisely silent but continued to watch him with baleful eyes. Severus pulled his wand from his robes. "Incantus Finitem." The ominous bird reduced itself to a harmless barn owl.

"The hack couldn't even train real ravens." He opened the parchment paper. "Bugger."

The invitation was written in a red scrawling script. He idly wondered if it was blood. As usual, it was fraught with Lucius' tiresome attempts to be both sinister and jovial.

_Come One, Come All_

_To the Black and Silver Ball_

_Celebrate the Beginning of the End_

_Malfoy Manor _

_Midnight_

_P.S. Don't forget to bring your toy. _

****

* * *

Hermione awoke early this morning or more accurately had stayed up very late. She couldn't sleep no matter what she tried. Warm milk, a sedative, and even a gentle sleep charm had no effect. She was simply too anxious. School was starting today and Hermione was excited to start her last year. She was also going to see Ron whom she'd missed. There was also that peculiar conversation she'd had with Professor Snape the previous evening. If she didn't know better, she'd swear that she had a crush.

Hermione desperately needed to talk this over with someone so she went to Harry's room. She promised herself that she wouldn't get anywhere near his bed. He wouldn't give an unbiased opinion about Snape but she could probably use a cover story. A friend of a friend, etc. . .

"Harry?" She knocked. "Are you there?"

No answer.

Hermione peeked in the room. "Harry?"

The house elves had already made his bed and took his laundry. She bit her lower lip as she tried to think of where he might be. A sly thought came to mind but she doubted very much that he was in Draco Malfoy's room. Harry was still in denial about his feelings. So, where would he go to sort out said feelings?

"The Quidditch Field." She strode out of the boy's dormitory.

Hermione skidded to a halt in front of the bleachers. Dr. Tatterton was relaxing on a bench with a cup of coffee and watching a young man practice bludger drills.

"Holy Merlin! The man is shameless." She mumbled to herself as she marched up the stairs. He seduced her professor one night and was ogling Harry the next day.

"Hey!" She said quite loudly.

Troy was so startled he spilled coffee on his khakis. "Oh, hello there, Hermione, right?" His gaze slid to the half naked quidditch player once more and he rubbed at the dark patch on his knee absently. "You have a spell to take out coffee stains by any chance?"

"That's right. I'm Hermione Granger." She said as she plopped down beside him. She waved her wand and the coffee spot vanished. "What are you doing here?"

"I thought that was obvious." He gestured with his cup. "Sipping a good cup of java and enjoying the . . . view." Troy's lips curved in a licentious smile as he sipped his coffee. "I've got to give it to those Gremlins. This is good to the last drop."

"House elves," she corrected .

"Some of the staff warned me about you," he told her conversationally. "Do you want extra homework? Honors project?"

"I came to . . . warned? Warned?" She snapped. "I'm one of the best students at Hogwarts. I'm a prefect and got all A's in-"

"Yes, Sevvie filled me in on some of that. It's all the man could talk about." He made his hand into a mouth. "Yak. . .yak . . .yawn."

"About Sevvie, er Severus." Troy gave her a crafty glance. " I mean Professor Snape. I just wanted to tell you . . . er . . ." Hermione bit her lip in indecision. What? Back off! Good luck? "I-"

"Out with it, peach pie."

"I um, saw you and him, the other day. Oh! Not that I was spying." She laughed a little hysterically. "I mean, me, a spy! Who would believe that? But I-"

"Ah, I get it." He patted her hand. "I'm sorry you witnessed that pathetic display. Honestly, how was I to know he wasn't gay? Hello! How much can one man swish?"

Hermione's face lit up. "You mean, he's not . . . and you-"

"Most definitely are. Something must be wrong with my gaydar," Troy said thoughtfully. "I think it's the English factor."

Hermione thought back to her conversation with Severus and groaned. "I'm very stupid."

"I thought you were very smart." He eyed her. "So, why are you so interested in Snape, Plain and Tall. School girl crush?" He guessed.

"Of course not! I went through that already with Professor Lockhart. I was curious. That's all." She evaded his gaze.

"I see," Troy said, scratching his jaw. "No, I don't. What are you hiding, crumb cake?"

She needed to deflect his attention. "Wow! Look at Harry go!" She shaded her eyes with one slim hand as she looked up into the sky. That's when she realized that it wasn't Harry. It was Oliver Wood, the new quidditch Coach. He'd had to join them late because he played quidditch professionally and had just quit his job as a Keeper with the Montana Madrigals. "Huh, that's not Harry. It's Wood."

"What a stimulating name."

She blushed. "Oliver Wood," Hermione hastily corrected. "I used to go to school with him."

"I'll make sure to introduce myself," Troy said, eyes still on the young man. "Tell me, do you have Muggle Studies this year?"

"Yes, I'm taking the advanced section with you, Dr. Tatterton."

"Splendid. Please, call me Dr. Troy though."

"Forgive me for being impertinent, Dr. Troy, but why are you here? Strictly speaking, Muggles are rarely allowed here."

"I thought you knew." He turned to her. "I'm here to increase good will towards Muggles. From what I understand there have been a number of . . . incidents involving the Dead Beaters."

"Death Eaters," Hermione corrected him. "It must be Professor Dumbledore's idea," Hermione said appreciatively. "The Death Eaters are attacking Muggles and Muggle-borns. It makes sense to increase positive contact."

"Absolutely. I'm going to be introducing the school at large to Muggle culture. We're planning movie nights and even a concert or two."

"Not many of the so-called pure bloods know much of anything about the culture. I'm looking forward to your class."

"Okay, bored with that topic." His eyes pinned her. "Let's talk about Sevvie. I never did get a satisfactory answer out of you."

"I'd better go. I have plenty to do today." Hermione jumped up from her seat.

"Not so fast." He yanked her back down. "Tell me, peach pie."

She couldn't tell him that she was spying with Severus. She shuddered to think of what the Death Eaters would do to a Muggle professor if they found out he had information. "Oh, you guessed it. I have a crush on him," she said as lightly as possible. "He's smart and more amusing than you would think." She sat back and a smile played about her lips as she spoke. "He seems to know everything about anything too. Very well read. His library alone is--" She broke off. "Yes, alright ,I have a crush on him." Only this time she wasn't lying. To herself or to him.

"How old are you?"

"Eighteen." She held up a hand. "You don't need to give me a lecture. I know that this is going nowhere. It's against Hogwarts rules, for one. They'd fire him and probably expel me. Sev . . . Professor Snape thinks of me as a child too."

"I'm not so sure about that. When I spoke to him the other night he praised you and told me that I needed to leave so that he could prepare for your arrival." He winked conspiratorially. "Sevvie actually almost smiled when he talked about you." Hermione grinned. "Hmmm . . . and I think the good professor might feel the same way about you." Troy watched her carefully for a reaction and was delighted to see her cheeks flood with color. So that was the way the peach pie crumbled, eh? "You know you won't always be a student here."

"I know. But I'm not sure-"

"Well, there's only one way to find out, right?"

"What are you getting at it?"

"I'm saying that you might have to test the waters. I'm not condoning anything that would get you expelled but there's no harm in flirting."

"I don't know if I-"

"Don't worry about a thing. I'm going to help you. After all, just because I can't have Sevvie doesn't mean that you shouldn't." He patted her hand again. "Just consider me your Fairy Godfather."

Hermione was dubious. "Um, thank you?"

****

* * *

Hermione found Severus sitting on her bed. Crookshanks was occupying the chair at her desk as was his habit. Professor Snape was wise to not disturb him. That was a clawing offense. He was perched on the foot of the bed, near the edge. He looked like a child sitting outside the principal's office. He was unaware of her notice and she almost betrayed herself with a laugh as she saw him crane his neck to peruse her book shelf.

Deciding to end his misery, she placed her hands on her hips and said loudly but teasingly, "I thought we talked about this."

"Hermione." He shot to his feet, appearing alarmed by her presence.

"I'm kidding. You wouldn't have come here unless you had a good reason."

"Yes, well, it's actually a very bad reason." He pulled the missive from his pocket and handed it over.

Hermione read it over. "Blast."

"I'm afraid we're going to have to accelerate your training."

"Why does he want me there?" Hermione's brow furrowed in consternation. "I'm not a Death Eater. I don't even have the mark."

"Malfoy's testing us both, Hermione, and we must give a stellar performance," he said as gently as he could. However, she needed to be aware of the risks. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"If we make a error it might be a fatal one," she whispered, stricken.

"Exactly." His hand seemed to reach for hers on its own volition. She gratefully took it as they stood awkwardly in the center of her room. "Come, come." He squeezed her hand. "We can outwit them." His lips twisted into a smirk. "I've been doing it for years."

"What do we need to do?" Hermione asked. She wanted a task to do, something to occupy her mind.

"The first order of the day is image. You must present yourself as one of them. Originality is frowned on." She looked at him quizzically. "They parade around in matching masks and cloaks." Severus moved to her bed, for lack of a better place, and sat himself down. He looked a bit more comfortable there. "Do you have something suitable to wear?"

"I might," Hermione said as she turned to her closet. She pulled two gowns from the back and held them up on either side of her body for inspection. One was pink chiffon (courtesy of her mother) and the other was a midnight blue satin. She had brought them to school in hopes of being asked to one of the formal dances. They were both conservatively cut and had little in the way of decoration. Hermione had never been one for frills and bows. Both of the gowns were well suited to a school function but were inadequate for this type of formal social engagement.

"I trust you are still top of your class in transfiguration?"

"Yes." It was said without vanity. "You want me to change them?"

"One of them, at least. They need to be longer, floor length. It is a black and silver ball so the color will need to be changed as well." Severus stood up and cast a critical eye on the garments. He plucked the midnight blue dress from her grasp. "You can put the pink menace away, I think."

Hermione's lips twitched. "I just want you to know that I didn't pick that one out." She put it back in the closet.

"I have no doubt."

Hermione grabbed her wand and focused on the garment. She'd seen a dress that appealed to her at the department store while shopping with her mother. However, it had been far too expensive. "Transforment vetement!" The gown spread down to the floor under a black fall of tulle which was gathered at the waist. The puffed sleeves disappeared to be replaced by a silver strapless bodice and a line of embroidered flowers. "Perfect." She pulled a throw blanket from her chair and waived her wand again. "Transforment vetement!" It transformed into a matching tulle shawl. "Very good, Hermione." Severus said. He handed her the magic garments and she hung them on the hook beside her closet. "I couldn't have done it better myself." She arched a brow. "Really. I couldn't. Transfiguration was a nightmare for me."

"What else do we need to do?"

"You realize that you and I will have to appear to be enthusiastic to a certain degree. In the social aspect at least. There may be . . . amusements there that will shock you."

"Like?"

He sighed. "They're a decadent lot, Hermione. Hedonistic. They seek pleasure in all its many forms. Drink, drugs." Severus couldn't look her in the eyes. "Sex, wealth, and power. I could try to predict what we might find there but I never do their depravity justice."

Hermione was finding it difficult to breathe. "I'm going to be thrown in over my head, aren't I?"

"And if you can't swim you'll sink us both." His expression was grave. "I'm loathe to put more pressure on you but I don't have a choice. You must appear indifferent to anything that you find unpalatable. Unaffected by what goes on. This is going to be difficult and very, very dangerous." Severus took her by the shoulders. "I'll be there to guide you, Hermione. Trust me."

"I do." She was caught in his eyes.

"They will expect us to be intimate with one another as well."

"I know."

"We haven't had time to pursue that particular aspect of your new role yet."

"I guess we'll have to wing it," Hermione said, breaking the tension between them.

Severus cupped her face in his hands. "I want to warn you, I have to be a different person there. Like I was at the meeting, only more so."

"Different? Oh, you mean evil?" An image of the book imitating him flashed before her eyes, and she held back a laugh.

"Well, yes." He frowned. "This is serious."

"I can handle it." She smiled. "I'll just pretend I'm in your class again."

Suddenly, he tugged her close to him, holding her tightly. "I'm glad you still have a sense of humor."

She stared up at him. "The sardonic position was already taken."

He leaned in, and her breath caught in her throat. Was he going to kiss her? He started to close his eyes, and caught site of her locket, lying open around her neck. In the picture, Harry and Ron were staring at him, angrily. Severus realized that they were alone in her bedroom, and reminded himself that she was a student. His student. He turned his face at the last moment and kissed her forehead instead. "It's almost time for the train to arrive."

She frowned, surreptitiously searching for snakes. No, green and blue spies. What had gone wrong? What did it take to get your teacher-slash-pretend-boyfriend-so-you-can-be-a-spy to kiss you? "Um, yes, I guess so."

"You should come to me tonight." She raised a brow at him. He cursed. "Well, I can't very well strut through Slytherin in a tux up to your room, can I?"

"And I can come down in a dress to talk potions with you?" She pointed out. He cursed again.

"You're going to have to change in my room." Severus sighed. "And I need you to let Draco in, he'll have to change there as well."

"What's wrong?"

"I just realized how this might appear to the casual observer." Severus contemplated. "We have to appear that we're dating, but try to hide it from everyone."

"I have a really bad idea."

"Yes?"

"I'll date Draco."

"No."

"It would be the perfect alibi," she pointed out. "The Jr. Death Eaters will know that it's just a front for my relationship with you, and it'll be legitimately worth hiding from everyone else."

"You're saying that you want to date other people?"

"No, I want to pretend to date other people."

"There must be another solution," Severus insisted.

"Sure, the obvious one. I doubt that you want to get a reputation, professor."

"Point taken. But you're only pretending to date me and the boy so doesn't that give you two pretend boyfriends?" He beamed at her. "That's very - "

"Slytherin of me?"

"Yes." Severus silently hoped that the rumors about Draco were true. "There will be no lying about in Draco's bed either."

****

* * *

"Will you two stop giggling? Show some respect." Griff-Gruff commanded yet he felt off too. It was strange to be doing this in the middle of the day, instead of night. It lost most of its pomp and circumstance. "This is a sacred duty. We are carrying on a tradition that has a long and illustrious history of-"

_"Oh, shut up, Fliff-Fluff. It's not like they can hear ussss, anyway." _Snippy's tail twitched in irritation.

Ahead of them, the bright red steam engine of the Hogwart's Express could be seen chugging towards them. Normally, this was a joyous sight but this year it was bittersweet. Usually, the train arrived in the magic of the night, but was now coming at an the innocuous hour of three in the afternoon for safety reasons. Earlier this morning, the professors and prefects had performed an elaborate protection ritual on the platform. Aurors, wearing robes emblazoned with the Ministry of Magic seal, were stationed on the train and beside the tracks. There was no doubt that the Wizarding World had changed around them.

All of the House mascots stared at one another, for once in their long existence, they put aside their rivalry. Griff-Gruff held out his paw in the center of the small group. Hazelheart placed his on top. Rune stretched out her wing to the pile. The snakes added their two tails to the mix.

The small but dignified griffin, who assumed he was the leader of the group , cleared his throat. "As Dumbledore said, Hogwarts to the very end!"

"To the end!" They all echoed. All of the mascots pulled away, seemingly uncomfortable about the reminder of how fragile their way of life was.

Hazelheart was the first to break the silence. "Well, peeps, I hope this group is chillier than the last. They totally crushed my start of the year groove . . ."

Rune glared at Snippy and Snarky who had burst out laughing at the memory of the three first years covered in sticky green goo after startling the badger. She started to reprimand them when she remembered that she was evil, now. She attempted a cackle. But she was knocked into by a heavy object.

"Oh, so sorry, Rune - wait, no I'm not! I'm corrupted, depraved even, and I did that on purpose."

Griff-Gruff whirled around in outraged horror. "How did you get here?"

"I walked," the book said slowly, so the feeble minded mascot could understand. "It was a sort of sinful amble, you know, not too fast, not too swishy. Rather like Snape. I've been practicing."

_"You want to be like Snape? Ewww."_ Snarky shuddered. His eyes lit up mischeviously as he had a new bit of gossip to drop into the conversation. _"I suppose you're kissing Hiney now, too?"_

"What? Kissing who's hiney?" The book looked disgusted, Cover!Lockhart stuck out his tongue and made barfy faces. "I'm evil, not gross."

_"Hey, Book, you're the one who wanted to be like Snape,"_ Snippy pointed out.

_"We didn't mean you were kissing butts -"_ The two of them broke out into laughter again at the thought of butts. _"We meant Hermione."_

"Hermione kisses butts?" Rune was pleased by that nugget of information.

"Can I point out how inappropriate this conversation is?" Griff-Gruff reprimanded.

"Chill, Gruffman." Haze wanted to know what was happening.

_"No, she kisses Snape,"_ Snippy clarified.

"Snape!" It was Griff-Gruff. "Why? Why would a Gryffindor like Hermione do that? I taught her better." He shook his head. "It's always the quiet ones."

_"Well, we didn't actually see them kiss. Apparently, they don't like being watched,"_ Snarky commented. _"Who knew?"_

"He was going to kiss Hermione!" Rune looked devastated.

_"Well, he was planning on it, but he ended up kissing Tatterton instead."_

"He's GAY!!" Rune couldn't believe her rotten luck. Wrong species and wrong gender.

"Well, that was kind of obvious, wasn't it?" Griff-Gruff sniffed. Meanwhile the train had pulled to a stop in front of the station. Griff-Gruff turned to the book. "You need to go away now."

"Ah, I see. A mascots only deal?" They all nodded. "So if I stayed, I would be breaking the rules." They nodded again and the book smiled wickedly. "Then I will stay as . . . as . . . the Mascot of Evil!" He tried to put his hands on his hips, but sadly realized he didn't have hips. "Whose house should I be in?"

Griff-Gruff, Rune, and Hazel answered, "Slytherin."

_"You ssssuck!"_ The snakes shook their heads. Snarky looked at the book, _"You're not riding in our boat, Book."_

"No, I'm now the . . ." He paused for dramatic effect. "Mascot of Evil. And of course not! I am going to hop from boat to boat, and try to rock the first years into the lake! Oooh, and splash people!"

_"Why don't you throw rocks at the Giant Octopus while you're at it?"_ Snippy suggested, hoping the Octopus might eat him.

"Dude, that's not cool. If you teach it to throw rocks at the Giant Octopus, how long before he turns on helpless badgers?" Hazel worried.

"Haze, you are safe from my evilness. You provide me with -"

"Shhhh!" He waived his arms. "Dude, that's a secret."

"I don't keep secrets - I'm the Mascot of Evil!"

"Then, it's like an evil secret." Haze smiled craftily.

The book caught his eye and nodded solemnly.

"Yes, and such a well-kept one." Griff-Gruff frowned. "Straighten up. They're coming." The griffin puffed out his chest and held his head high. After all, his students were the best of the bunch.

_"Who cares about them? Does anybody see the candy cart lady?"_ Snarky craned his head to see.

_"Oh, oh, oh! There she is!"_ The snakes took off like a shot, tripping students along the way as they raced for the leftovers.

* * *

Ronald Weasley stepped off the train, turning to offer a hand to his younger sister Ginny. After her, stepped down a blonde girl with bright hazel eyes, Madeleine Mabb. He stood, idly chatting with them while he waited for Harry and Hermione, who had promised to meet him on the platform.

"Why aren't they here yet?" He demanded. "I knew this would happen if they both made prefect. We'll never get to see them. What? They don't even have time for their best friend?"

"Nope, no one has time for full of themselves Quidditch captains," came the teasing reply.

"Wood?" Ron turned around, and sure enough, there was Oliver Wood, grinning at him from the corner. "What are you doing here?"

"Erm, escorting carriages to the Great Hall. It's a new tradition this year," Wood said uncomfortably. "All Hogwarts instructors are participating." He pointed to the surrounding carriages. Ron could see Professor McGonnagal and Professor Sprout on either side of them. They were seated in carriages with other upperclassmen. Sprout was holding Hazelheart in her lap, and they were both giggling erratically. Ron grimaced and turned to Oliver once more. "So, I'm fulfilling one of the obligations that comes with my new position." The trio looked puzzled. "Quidditch Master."

"That's great!" Ron smiled. "This is going to be our best year ever." Wood looked discomfitted again but smiled. "You're Quidditch Master, Hermione and Harry are prefects, and I'm Quidditch Captain. With Harry as our Seeker again, we're guaranteed the Cup!"

"Um, yeah. About that, Ron . . ."

"What? Harry's okay, isn't he?" Ron looked panicked. "He can still play, can't he?"

"Yes . . . but you have a new seeker."

"What do you mean?" Ron asked. "We don't need a new seeker! We like the old one!"

"Well, it's a long story. But Harry will be sharing the position this year." Oliver shifted his feet.

"With who?"

"It's a long story."

"With who?" Ron pressed.

"We should probably find a carriage. Don't want to get stuck with Snape."

"With - eww." Ron grimaced. "No, you're not getting out of it by threatening me with Mr. Death Eater Breath himself. With who?"

Wood tried again. "Ron, it's really not the right time- "

Ron grabbed him by his collar. "Wood, with who?"

"It's only half the time, so it's not really a big deal . . ." He tried to shrug casually.

"WITH WHO??" Ron shook him, desperately.

"Draco Malfoy."

****

* * *

Harry scanned the platform, Hermione's arm looped loosely in his, watching for flashes of bright red hair. Griff-Gruff was instructing the first years on House procedures, as they climbed into boats. Hazelheart was laughing with Sprout. McGonagall was glowering at rowdy students. As they passed by the luggage car, they saw the Book switching all the suitcase tags. To their surprise, Rune was helping him. The snakes had cornered a spider near one of the walls and Harry heard them threatening to tie it up and throw it on the tracks.

Harry spotted a commotion towards the back. Several students appeared to be circling a fight. Quickly Hermione and he ran to the group. Ron was shaking Wood and demanding that he take some statement back. "Ron?"

"Harry!" Ron let go of Oliver, who got up with as much dignity as he could muster. "You won't believe what he said!"

"Never mind about that. We should write you up, Ronald Weasley!" Hermione huffed. "Assaulting a staff member."

"You're one to talk." He grinned at her and she couldn't help but grin back. They both grinned at Harry. And the trio fell into a huge group hug. When they finally let go, he gave Harry a commiserating, if irritated, look. "Malfoy, Harry?"

"What? What about him? I have nothing to do with Malfoy! We go on patrols, and there was the venom sucking incident, but that's not as bad as it sounds!" Harry hauled air into his lungs, while Ron shot him confused looks.

"Don't worry, Harry. Plenty of people have Malfoy sucking incidents." Oliver laughed to himself.

"The only sucking thing I was talking about was Quidditch, and I'm just going to assume that you two are too." Ron looked at Oliver. "Especially you or I'm not going to be able to shower in the locker room anymore."

"As if," Oliver muttered.

Ron's eyes widened as he took in their appearance. "Wicked! You guys stole Slytherin Prefect badges!"

"Actually, we are Slytherin prefects," Hermione informed him.

"That's not even the slightest bit amusing," Ron growled . "Next you'll tell me you're friends with Snape, and have a crush on Malfoy."

"We better get going. Or we won't get a carriage." Harry turned around.

"Don't worry. I pulled in a favor and asked someone to save us one." Hermione smiled. She looped one arm in Harry's, and her other in Ron's, and led them to carriage six.

"Who'd you get to save you a carriage?" Wood reached to open the door for them. Seated in the middle of the front seat was Severus Snape. Oliver gasped, trying not to shriek, and stepped back. "Good Lord, man! Give a fellow fair warning."

"Go away," Snape scowled. "This one's taken."

"Ok! We'll find another one!" Wood turned around. "Sorry, Hermione, Snape slithered into that one."

"Severus!" Hermione pushed past Wood. "It's us!"

"Ah, Miss Granger," Severus said, using her surname deliberately. "I see your prefect status is already going to your head."

She blushed. "Sorry, Professor Snape." In all the excitement and fear she forgot that they were still professor and student to the outside world.

"Couldn't you just set him on fire again?" Ron murmured with a disgusted sigh.

"Just get in the carriage." She glared at him, though she squeezed his arm in support, delighted to be reunited again. Climbing into the carriage, she crossed in front of Snape and sat in between him and the window. Ron got as far to the other corner as he could, Maddie following, and Ginny behind her. Harry grimaced and climbed in next to Snape.

"Blast! No more room!" Oliver smiled and started to back away.

Another carriage rolled up. A man in sunglasses leaned out of the window and drew them down his nose to admire the young man. "I've got room in mine." Troy flashed Wood a smile. Snippy and Snarky peered down from the luggage rack, munching on treats from the trolley and were, therefore, too busy to speak. As Wood climbed in, Troy peered into the carriage. "Hey, Sevvie."

"Mr. Potter, if you would kindly shut the door." Snape scowled.

"Looks like you're taking my advice. If you need anything else, you know where the teacher's quarters are." Troy settled his shades back on his face as she blushed. "Good show, Peach pie."

"We are leaving now." Snape waited until Harry shut the door to add, "Fruitcake."

The first few minutes of the ride were silent. Everybody but Hermione, seemed to be straining towards the door. Ron put a protective arm around his girlfriend, pulling her close to his side, and casting suspicious looks at Snape. Hermione alone seemed to be in a great mood. She grabbed Ron's hand with her left hand, and reached over Snape to take Harry's right. Snape followed the path of her hand with his eyes. When Harry reached to take her hand, he smacked Harry's hand with his wand. "Hands to yourself, Potter."

Harry stared at him, hand paused halfway to Hermione. "I beg pardon, sir?"

"You should. Now get your hand away from my lap."

"As if." Harry rolled his eyes.

"What was that, Potter?" Then he winces as Hermione elbowed him, discreetly. He turned to look at her.

"Stop that, or I'll set you on fire at the ball to prove how evil I am tonight," she whispered under her breath. His lips twitched, as he settled back into his seat. Ginny stared, the only one to catch the exchange. Snape had almost smiled. She continued to observe them in amusement, as every time Hermione talked, Snape turned full attention on her, and anytime she tried to touch Harry, Snape smacked him with his wand.

****

* * *

"Mr. Malfoy. I need to speak to you for a moment." Snape paused outside the Great Hall, a hand on the blond's shoulder.

"Yes, sir." He dutifully followed him to a quiet nook.

"You will be dating Hermione," Severus announced without preamble.

"What?!"

"I need a way to get both of you into my quarters to dress and Apparate. As I'm sure you are aware, she and I have a particular association and I can not have my name disparaged. If the other students think you're dating, it'll be less suspicious," he explained. "And with the ball tonight, expediency is expected."

"But, Severus, I'm -- "

"I know. But you must do this for the cause. Think how good it'll look for the Malfoy name. Willing to date a Mudblood. Throws suspicion away from you," Severus told him, sarcastically. "The Dark Lord will appreciate your sacrifice, as will I."

"Did you tell her, yet?"

"It was her idea." He nodded.

"How very -- "

"Slytherin of her?" He proposed wryly.

"Exactly." Together they walked into the room, and Draco sat down at the Gryffindor table, and imagined the look on Harry and Ron's face when he started hitting on Hermione in potions.

Draco glanced up to see the first years march through the door into the Great Hall. Half of them were dripping wet, and appeared severely displeased. Ahead of them scampered a slightly damp book, chuckling occasionally. He should have known.

With a sigh, he turned back to his red and gold table with a sneer. Across the table sat Ron, who was currently glowering at him, and if he wasn't mistaken, growling a little. He wondered idly if he should have moved all the sharp silverware to the other end of the table. Ron continued to glower through the Sorting Ceremony, waiting for the chance to talk to Harry and Hermione. As the ceremony ended, the book stood in McGonagall's way, not letting her remove the hat.

"I demand to be sorted!" Sheldon declared. "I want to be in the evil House. Because, I am . . . dum . . . dum . . . dum . . . the Mascot of Evil!"

Dumbledore smiled. "But you see, Sheldon, there are no evil Houses."

"Oh, c'mon! There is too!" The Book whined. He pointed to the Slytherin Table. "You're telling me they're not evil?"

"Of course they're not evil," the Headmaster insisted.

"How about that one!" He pranced over to the table and pointed to Marcus Flint. "You're telling me Mr. Buck Tooth here isn't evil?"

"Why, you little cretin, I'm going to rip you apart!' Flint said angrily.

"Did you hear that? That was a death threat if I ever heard it. And death threats -" he paused for emphasis, "Are clearly evil."

Dumbledore folded his hands and said diplomatically. "But what if there are evil students in other Houses? Shouldn't you be influencing them as well?"

"I hadn't thought about that."

"Then maybe, you should remain House-free." The staff groaned. At least three of the Houses would have been safe.

Draco shot a look over to the Slytherin Table. The two prefects were sitting very close to each other, trying not to look at the Slytherins surrounding them. He noted Snape glaring at Potter. His gaze wondered the length of the table, taking in the newest editions. Looking back at the Head Table, he spotted Snippy and Snarky swaying back and forth, eyes focused on Dumbledore, snickering.

_"I'm hungry, candy man! Let's go!" _

Draco blinked. Where had that come from? He scanned the faces of the other students. No, they hadn't spoken. It had a distinct hiss to it. He narrowed his eyes back on the snakes.

_"Forbidden . . .blah, blah, blah . . .Filch's scary red-eyed kitty . . . yadda, yadda, yadda . . .we're starving!"_ No, it couldn't be. Draco didn't speak parseltongue . . . but Harry did. What the . . .?

Trelawney leaned over to talk to Snape. "Severus, I have a bad feeling."

Snape glanced up from his food, despair in his eyes. Oh yes, she was going to talk to him. "Me, too."

_"That sense of impending doom can only mean one thing!"_ Snippy cried. _"Trelawney has come out of her trance."_

_"And she had predicted -"_ Snarky tapped out a drum roll. _"Certain boredom!"_

The snakes, spying a new target, began to circle her plate with glee. Snippy swayed from side to side. _"Ohmmm . . . ohmmmm . . . wait, I have a vision . . ."_

Snarky grasped her tea cup, shook it and pretended to read the leaves in the bottom. _"You are going to be very hungry!" _

_"Someone is going to steal your chicken!"_

_"Wait, who is that devilishly handsome and witty pair stealing your food?"_

_"Why, it's usssss! Thee, thee, thee . . . ."_

The Head Table was adorned with a banner that showed all of the Houses united under the heading of Hogwarts. The placement of this banner was deliberate. After he'd given the usual warnings, Dumbledore grew more serious. "As I'm sure you've noticed, you all have prefects from the opposing House." The students nodded in understanding. "It is important that you all understand that you are Hogwarts students, first and foremost. I'm sure your parents have made you aware of the unpleasant events that have occurred lately regarding Voldemort and his followers." Many students at the Slytherin table exchanged secretive smirks.

"Also be aware that there have been several changes to our policies. Your prefects will discuss everything with you during House meetings tonight. Rest assured that you are all safe here at Hogwarts." Dumbledore smiled kindly and the students relaxed somewhat.

Meanwhile, Harry stared all along the table, making note of who smirked and who didn't. Snippy and Snarky slithered onto the table and slunk down towards the center. He also noticed that the upperclassmen started grabbing forks and knives. They resembled uncouth Vikings going off to war if 'war' referred to bowls of food. Surely, they could wait a few more minutes.

"Appalling, isn't it?" Hermione whispered to him. "At least the first years are behaving."

Blaise Zabini leaned across the table. "That's because they don't know any better."

"Than to have good manners?" Hermione blurted out.

"You'll see . . ." The food appeared on the tables. At the end of the table, a first year reached for a roll . . . and was promptly smacked with a snake tail.

"Ow! Hey!"

_"Who said you could have any?"_ Snippy bared his fangs threateningly.

"Quick, while they're distracted!" Blaize grabbed a bowl of salad and tossed it to Harry, reaching for a plate of chicken. "You have to get as much as possible while they aren't watching."

Harry and Hermione quickly filled their plates. They were astonished to see the snakes had built a fortress out of food containers and were eating noisily.

"That's disgusting," Harry proclaimed.

"You haven't seen what they're like during breakfast. All I can say is, avoid the pancakes. They might hurt you for those," Blaise said sagely.

"Well, not anymore," Harry said firmly. "We're going to have a talk about that." He scowled at the snakes. _"Do you hear me?"_

Snippy made a rude gesture with his tale.

Snarky's cheeks were ballooned out around a large piece of chicken. _"Did you hear that, Scarface?"_

The snakes liked Harry a lot. But this was about food, one didn't play favorites.

Harry shook his head but caught Draco's stunned expression from across the room and noted that the blond boy was looking right at the snakes as well. He only had a moment to ponder this, however, because of several gasps and 'oohs' coming from the student body.

The suspended candles sputtered out, leaving them in relative darkness. The stars on the enchanted ceiling began moving. They were whisked from their normal positions to another. It was clear that there was a pattern being formed. Many of the students clapped or smiled. Harry started to smile, the pattern seemed familiar somehow, though he couldn't remember the ceiling doing this before. Harry sought out Dumbledore at the Head Table. The Headmaster's expression was appalled and tinged with fear. He looked over at Hermione, and she had turned white, one hand clapped to her mouth. Harry glanced up once more and watched in horror, his hands clenching into fists, as the finishing touches were made on a Death Eater symbol.

The entire room fell into shocked silence.

And then pandemonium broke out. Harry couldn't recall this much panic since the mountain troll had walked the halls. Dumbledore shot out of his chair.

"Aurors!" He called and the doors to the Great Hall opened and they streamed in. "Prefects, escort your House to your dormitories this instant!" He gestured to his fellow teachers. "Follow me."

"And so it begins," Hermione said quietly. She seemed to shake herself aware. "Girls, come with me. Quietly and calmly."

Harry did the same and they marched to the Slytherin dorms. His eyes stayed on Malfoy until they took different staircases.

The snakes remained on the table munching happily away, both of them were in a food-induced state of bliss. Snarky snapped out of it first. _"Hey, where did every body go?" _

_"I dunno."_ Snippy dove into a bowl of mashed potatoes. _"But they left the food here."_

_"Troll?"_

Snarky froze. _"Spider?"_

_"It might be on the ceiling. . ."_ They glanced above. _"Ohhhhh, whew." _They wiped their foreheads with their tales. _"It's just one of those stupid Death Eater thingies."_

They blinked.

_"But it's fried chicken day!"_

_"Death Eaters sssuck."_

_"And Scarface left us here to die."_

They both cuddled close to each other. _"HARRY!"_


	13. Just Another Death Eater in Training

**TITLE:** Trading Spaces 13

**RATING**: R (slash warning m/m)

**PAIRING:** HG/SS, HP/DM, HP/HG (friendship), RW/HG/HP (friendship)

**Chapter Thirteen: Just another Death Eater in Training**

****

* * *

Harry and Hermione marched down the hall, shoulder to shoulder, wands at the ready. The school was deathly quiet. The suits of armor on the wall cast ominous shadows that the two friends passed in and out of on the way to the meeting. There were Aurors in every hallway and they all looked equally grim. They said nothing to the Aurors or to each other. There was really nothing to say. They had both aged twenty years in about as many minutes. Harry and Hermione had been summoned by owl to an emergency staff meeting because, as prefects, they were now part of the staff.

Harry and Hermione had led their charges to the dormitories and proceeded to process the event with them. The 1st years were very nervous and Harry offered some comfort to them. He even went so far as to show his scar to them and give them an edited version of his fights with Voldemort. This calmed them somewhat, after all, the famous Harry Potter was protecting them. Hermione and Harry also performed a ritual in the common room. The spell was designed to block harmful magic. Although Harry and Hermione knew that most, if not all, the Death Eaters knew the accurate counterspell. They simply needed to make the students feel safe. They also encouraged the students to write home to their parents and discuss the situation.

Another duty was to look for traitors and Slytherin House had them in spades. Many of the 7th years, were trying to mask gleeful expressions, including Crabbe and Goyle. Harry made a list of suspects to give to Professor Dumbledore. The two prefects had ordered everyone to bed after everything had been put to rights. The students grudgingly agreed to go. Shortly thereafter, a Hogwart's owl arrived with the Headmaster's message.

Harry and Hermione entered the meeting room, to find all of the other prefects and Heads of House there. There were only a couple of staff members missing, Hagrid, who had taken Fluffy out to do a grounds sweep, and Filch who was guiding the Aurors through the 3rd floor.

"Five points a piece from Gryffindor for your tardiness," Snape admonished as he caught sight of them. He forced himself not to look at Hermione.

"Sorry, Professor Snape," Harry and Hermione both answered dutifully. They took seats on either side of him, as was expected of prefects.

Harry fought the urge to kick the professor's chair. He glanced across the table and saw Malfoy. He was seated next to Professor McGonnagal looking as smug as ever. Hermione glanced over as well and flushed as Draco very deliberately winked.

For his part, Harry was appalled that Draco had attempted to openly flirt with him.

"Let us begin," Professor Dumbledore intoned. "I doubt many of us will be sleeping much this night." His comment seemed aimed at Snape. "As you know, the Death Eaters have breached Hogwart's magical defenses in order to perform this prank. I think we all agree that this was merely a warning shot." There were several nods. "However, the Aurors have found no evidence as of yet of any Death Eaters on campus. This was a stunt performed by in-house operatives."

"Junior Death Eaters," Harry clarified. "I have a list of suspicious students, Headmaster." He pulled the note from his pocket.

"Well, if it isn't Sherlock Holmes," Severus mocked. "I believe I'll take a look at those first, since I am Head of Slytherin." He snatched the paper from Harry and sent him a nasty look. "Ten points for failure to follow protocol, Potter."

Harry bristled but said nothing.

"I think that would be wise since you are more familiar with them," Dumbledore said. "I would like regular reports on your progress."

"As you wish," Severus agreed. He wanted to peruse the list of names and compare them with his own notes. He seriously doubted that Potter knew anything he didn't.

"This was merely a ploy to make us uneasy. To rattle us and make us let our guard down. We cannot let that happen. I cannot stress that enough." Dumbledore looked around the table. "We must be vigilant. To that end . . .I would like all of the prefects to do a through sweep of their House tonight. I know it isn't necessary, the Aurors have already made a thorough inspection, but this will go a long way to restoring the peace of mind of our students." They all nodded. "I would also like you to make yourselves available in the coming days to talk with the students." He turned his attention to the elder members of the staff. "I ask the same of the faculty and staff. In addition, I want the professors to work on a series of protection spells and potions that we can use to reinforce the ones already in place. We must protect Hogwarts . . . at all costs." There were murmurs of assent. "Excellent. I bid you all goodnight."

All of the staff got up from their chairs and exchanged stunted pleasantries with one another as they made their way to the door.

Dr. Troy pulled Hermione aside. "Let me guess, spontaneous redecoration is a bad thing, right?"

"As a rule, yes." Hermoine managed a smile. "Are you alright?"

"Fabulous, apple dumpling. All of the screaming and running was interesting, to say the least." His lips twitched. "All I could think was that everyone else thought that mark on the ceiling was as ugly as I did. Really, how biker-chic can you get?" He reached out and took her hand in his own. "How are you?"

"Fine, I had a lot of scared students to take care of but I'm doing okay now."

Professor Snape stepped in between Hermione and Dr. Tatterton, removing the other man's hand from her person. "I didn't think I had to explain this to you but being so . . . familiar . . . with a student is out of bounds."

"You should know, Sevvie," Troy said sweetly.

"Troy, hello there," Oliver Wood said as he sidled up to the group. "I haven't experienced anything that scary since Marcus Flint smiled at me." He deliberately looked at Severus. "Or since . . . someone breathed on me." Yes, being an instructor and, therefore, immune to losing points, was good.

Severus scowled, speaking with a voice thick with insinuation, "Shouldn't you be polishing a broom stick or something?"

Hermione nearly choked.

"Why, I do believe Sevvie is working on his double entendres." Dr. Troy grinned, not in the slightest bit put out. He was rather handsome when he was angry . . . too bad about the straight thing.

"Well, he can't run around scowling all the time," Wood joked. He looked at Hermione, "I've missed the old gang. Why don't you bring Ron and Harry over some night? We'll-"

"It's not appropriate for staff members to entertain students in their private quarters," Severus interjected. He certainly didn't like the idea of Hermione alone with three young men, even if the majority of them were gay.

"And you should know," Troy singsonged.

"Don't be silly, we're old friends. I'd love to, thanks, Oliver." She walked forward and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Goodnight." She smiled at Dr. Troy. "Goodnight."

"Why don't you come over sometime? We'll watch movies." He couldn't keep the smile off his face at Sevvie's thunderous expression.

"I'll bring the magic popping corn," She waved as she walked over to Harry.

"Goodnight, peach pie." He and Oliver ambled away without a word to the steaming Professor Snape.

"Fruitcake," Severus muttered under his breath. He came up behind Harry and tapped him on the shoulder a little harder than necessary. Potter was apparently busy having a staring contest with Draco Malfoy. "Are you quite finished, Mr. Potter? Follow me, I can't have you and H . . . Miss Granger falling into the wrong hands."

The perfects followed him down the darkened corridor. Watching Snape's long robes billow about him as he stalked down the hallway, Harry idly thought he resembled a bat. It did nothing to decrease his anxiety or tension. He looked over at Hermione, ready to make some snappy remark when he noted her watching the professor with an appraising but appreciative eye. Harry recognized that look. It was how he gazed at Gilderoy Lockhart until the man opened his mouth. It was the way he watched Oliver Wood as he got ready for a game. It was the way he had looked at Draco Malfoy the first time he saw him in that Death Eater's robe.

"Anything you'd like to confess, Hermione?" Harry asked as they started up the stairs.

"Oh . . . about Draco-"

"No, not about Draco. I'm talking about _another_ Slytherin," he hissed.

"We're Slytherins," Hermione replied obtusely.

"Snape?" Harry attempted to jog her memory.

At the sound of his name, Severus turned around. "This may come as a surprise to you, Potter, but I can still hear you even when I'm not facing you. As for your rather clumsy insinuation that I may have a non-academic association with Miss Granger, I assure you the idea is ludicrous." He pinned Hermione to the spot with a glare. "It would behoove Miss Granger to not form . . . attachments to any staff members." He turned on his heel and entered his own apartments.

"Hermione?"

She started up the stairs with a gamine grin on her beautiful face. "Come on, Harry. We better hurry if we want to get in bed at a decent hour."

****

* * *

"Ah ha!" Sheldon yelled as he leapt into the great hall. Gilderoy's picture was dressed in a ninja outfit. "Did you think I was afraid of you?! I was merely regrouping. I am the Mascot of Evil!" He hopped up on a nearby table and padded down the center. He did a high ninja kick and knocked a bowl of chicken to the floor. "Come out, evil ones! And face my-"

_"You rang?"_ Snippy's hissed from across the room. Snarky who was still entwined with him snickered.

_"Damn ninjas ruin everything."_ The two snakes hissed a private laugh.

Sheldon jumped to the next table. "And you call yourself evil mascots? Look at you! Cringing in the darkness while I-"

_"Make idle threats to an otherwise empty room?"_ Snarky heckled. He moved away from Snippy. _"And we weren't cringing we were-"_

_"Cold,"_ Snippy finished, he slithered further away. _"Where's Harry?"_

_"Yeah, we yelled and he didn't come! Sssome hero!"_

"I don't care! I'm here to fight the Death Eaters! Come out you blackguards and I will-"

_"Shhhhh!"_ The snakes put their tails to their mouths.

Snarky slipped around to Sheldon's side. _"Do you know what they would do to a loudmouth little book like you?"_

"I am not afraid for I am-"

_"A book written by a prissssy pretty boy?"_ Snippy hissed as he too slid around the book.

Lockhart's picture put his hands on his mouth and gasped in indignation. "He's not a-"

_"Ssssave it. We're going to do something really evil,"_ Snarky said.

"Really? Like what?" Sheldon could never turn down the prospect of evil deeds.

_"We know a lousy hero who's going to come home to a nassssty surprise."_

The snakes laughed.

Snarky and Snippy surrounded the book. _"Have you ever heard of short sheeting a bed?"_

****

* * *

An hour later, Harry was feeling bad about his wild accusations. The very idea that she would find Snape attractive! Maybe she'd been daydreaming about someone else while looking at Professor Snape. That seemed to be a bit more likely. Deciding to provide a peace offering, Harry pulled a box of Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans from under the floorboard. He'd decided to use magic in order to safeguard his treats from Snippy and Snarky.

Harry concealed himself in his invisibility cloak. It wouldn't do to have a prefect breaking House rules on the first night of school! He quietly made his way to her room and was about to walk in her open door when she walked out holding a garment bag. She looked to the left and the right . . . the hallway was empty save for Harry. Then, she took off to the common room. Harry couldn't help but follow. There were a couple of students there and she glared at them reprovingly. "You'd better get into bed, it's far past curfew." They were about to argue with her when her expression became as menacing as Snape's on a bad day. They gathered their things and made their way back to their rooms.

Mystified, Harry watched as Hermione then went to the portrait and left. He rushed after her. Harry held his breath as she passed by Snape's private rooms on the way out. To his relief, she didn't enter.

He was hot on her heels as she headed away from their dorms and headed straight for Gryffindor Tower. Harry made sure to match his steps to hers even though his stride was longer. She was nervous and made sure to be aware of her surroundings. Hermione quickly walked to the portrait of the Fat Lady and murmured the correct password. Harry neatly followed, managing to jump in before the portrait closed. She put the garment bag over her shoulder as she ascended the stairs. Draco Malfoy was lounging in the common room. There were several other students in the room as well. A couple of them sat in chairs in front of the fire. A trio sat on the floor talking. Apparently he wasn't a stickler when it came to curfew.

"Shnookums, did you come to say goodnight?" Draco crooned as she approached the table.

She grimaced but knew she had to participate in their little charade. "Yes, I missed you." Her eyes sent daggers at him, "My little ferret."

Harry nearly stumbled down the stairs. "What the hell . . .?"

"What was that?" Hermione turned around but there was no one behind them.

"Maybe it was that little pest, Griff-Gruff." He stood up and held out his arms to her, determined to make her pay for that ferret comment and for putting him in this position to begin with. "Give us a kiss!"

"Eww . . . I mean, I can't." She pointedly looked at the other students. "I'm shy."

Unseen, Harry stalked over to the pair. He stood beside them, looking from one to the other. He idly wondered if someone had spiked the chicken at tonight's dinner. Then, he remembered Hermione's half confession from earlier. Was she involved with Draco? And more importantly . . . didn't she know he was gay? Or bisexual? Or maybe omnisexual. Now that he thought about it, he was pretty sure Draco went after anything that moved.

"Fine, we'll go somewhere more private." He grabbed her arm and pulled her towards the boy's dormitories.

"I don't want to go in there! I'm not that shy." Hermione held onto the table as he attempted to drag her. "I'm good here."

"Let her go, Malfoy!"

Hermione looked up to see Ron racing down the stairs. She let go of the hardwood table. "Hi, Ron." She flashed a false smile. "How are you?"

Ron ignored her. "Get your filthy hands off of her!"

"I would, except for the fact that she's MY GIRLFRIEND." The word echoed on in the room "girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend." Everyone snapped to attention, some jaws hitting the floor in the process.

"Hermione, Draco Malfoy is touching you." Ron spoke very slowly as if she were a small child.

"I know. I . . . I want him to. He's my boyrfriend," she practically whispered.

"Did you hear that, Weasel? I'm her BOYFRIEND." The word again echoed through the room.

"He's gay!" Ron said.

There were some shrugs. More or less everyone knew something was going on with him and . . . most of Slytherin.

"No, no, he's not. He's just friendly," Hermione insisted. She looped her arm through Draco's. "See?"

"Bloody hell!" Hermione heard it whispered to her left but saw no one there.

Draco couldn't keep the smirk off his face. "Yes, I'm very . . . very . . .friendly."

"Just don't get friendly with me, pal." Ron narrowed his eyes. "I wouldn't touch him too much if I were you, Hermione. We don't know where's he been or what he was doing when he was there."

Hermione fought the urge to drop his arm and get some cleanser. "I want you to get along with him, he's my," she whispered, covering her mouth with her hand, "boyfriend."

"No! You can't! He's . . . it's Malfoy, Hermione." He walked forward and pointed to the smug prefect. "Malfoy! Remember? He with the slicked-back Dracula hair and the sneering? We don't like him."

"Well, I'm not crazy about you either, Weasley," Draco replied.

Ron stubbornly crossed his arms over his chest. "I don't believe you! It's a spell. Or . . . a curse. That's right! The Fourth Unforgivable . . . the one that makes you love Malfoy."

"Oh yeah? Watch this!" Draco grabbed Hermione and kissed her, bending her backwards over his arm, and putting all of his considerable experience into it.

Ron clapped his hands over his face. "My eyes! My eyes!"

A muffled curse and the sound of someone hitting the floor was heard to their left.

Hermione pushed him away and scrubbed her mouth with the back of her hand. "Dear Merlin, that was . . . nice?" She gave him a sickly smile.

"Come with me, schnookums." He picked up a garment bag from the table and seized her arm. "Let's go to the Astronomy Tower." He leered at her.

"I can't wait . . . er, ferret face." Hermione managed as she grabbed her own bag and flung it at him. She was going to have to work on whole endearment thing. "Carry that for me," She ordered as they left the stunned students in the common room. Ron was making heaving noises on the floor.

Harry followed them closely. He couldn't quite believe what he had just seen. As he scurried out behind them, he noticed that they stopped holding hands.

Draco tossed Hermione her bag. "I think you can carry this."

She caught it. "If you ever, ever kiss me again, I'll-"

"You'll what, Granger? You were the one who wanted to be my girlfriend."

"Pretend girlfriend, Malfoy," she reminded him. "Emphasis on pretend."

"Give over, I got the job done."

"Yes, everyone thinks we're using the Astronomy Tower for some human anatomy extra credit. Well done," she said sarcastically.

"It'll throw suspicion away from you and the good professor if they think we're shagging, right?"

A muffled curse was heard behind him.

They looked at each other and said in unison, "Peeves."

Hermione took up the argument again. "That's not the point. Severus and I wanted something subtle - that was practically pornographic."

"I think he'd be grateful, you might learn something," Draco said with sly insinuation.

Hermione made a sound of inarticulate rage and reached for her wand to Flippendo him out a window but Harry felt compelled to take some vengeance on her behalf. He ran along side of Malfoy and stuck his foot out, sending the other boy sprawling on the floor. Draco shook his head and looked up to see Hermione smiling down at him. "Learn to walk before you teach me anything."

****

* * *

Severus flung open the door. "You're late."

He was already dressed in his old-fashioned tuxedo, although the tie wasn't tied. His coat had tails and there was a cravat around his neck. Of course, the color was black. It was twenty minutes to midnight and he appeared to be at his wit's end. Harry followed Hermione and Draco into the apartment. He had no idea what the hell was going on but he intended to find out.

"I'm sorry, Severus, but someone decided to put on a floor show for the Gryffindors," Hermione accused.

"We needed them to buy it," Draco defended, crossing his arms over his chest. "Simply holding hands wasn't going to get it done."

Snape glared down his long thin nose at his pupil. "What happened?"

"He kissed me!" Hermione absently rubbed at her mouth.

"Will you stop that?" Draco snapped. "It's not like it was a thrill for me either."

"I said 'date', not molest!" Snape ground out. He threw up his hands. "We'll deal with this later! We're going to be late as it is." He pointed to the left. "Draco, change in the bathroom."

Harry couldn't stop himself. His feet simply followed the other boy on their own. Draco swung open the door and Harry peered over his shoulder. The room was opulent by anyone's standards. It had heated marble floors, an enormous claw-footed bathtub, and a large lit mirror over the bowl-shaped sink. Draco shut the door, nearly brushing against Harry as he did so. He hung his garment bag on the towel rack and sighed. Draco placed a hand at the back of his neck and worked the muscles there. Out of curiosity, he opened the linen cupboard and, as expected, within lay a wealth of black towels and washcloths. There was also a delicate bowl filled with bath beads. Amused, Draco picked one up and barely made out the words 'Obsession For Men' printed on the white oval bead.

"Who knew?" Chuckling, Draco replaced the bead and shut the cupboard. Draco began disrobing and Harry grew uncomfortable. He had followed the other boy in here, ostensibly, to spy but this was out of the realm of espionage. Draco undid his school tie and unfastened the buttons on his shirt. Harry couldn't seem to look away. His chest was well-defined and smooth, with more lean muscle than Harry had expected. Draco shrugged his shirt off. He unbuckled his belt and undid his pants.

Harry mentally went through the ingredients for Quicksilver potion. Rationally, he knew that he saw other boys dress and undress all the time. In the Gryffindor dorms and the locker room of course. It was nothing new. But it seemed more intimate somehow. Almost like a strip tease. Except that Harry felt like a peeping Tom. Draco slid his trousers down and Harry stared at the ceiling.

Draco felt an odd sort of tension in the room. As if he wasn't alone. He scowled. "So help me Merlin, if Snape's spying on me . . ." He grumbled to himself. Although, he didn't think Professor Snape swung that way. And after watching him with Granger, Draco suspected that there was more to their relationship than just pretense. He undid the garment bag and withdrew his tuxedo. He sneered at the Slytherin green bow tie. Sometimes, his father could be so predictable. Why not pin a Death Eater sign on his back and be done with it? He deftly dressed himself in the finery.

When he was fully dressed, he stood in front of the mirror to tie his bow tie. He expertly tied it and then smoothed his collar down. Draco looked good and knew it. He winked at his reflection.

Harry stifled a laugh. Leave it to Malfoy to hit on himself.

Suddenly, the mirror shimmered and shook. A set of features appeared before him . The liquid face in the mirror belonged to a beautiful young woman. Her lips were full and her eyes were wide although her form was silvery. "You died your hair? Without consulting me?" The voice was metallic, strangely human, and distinctly female. "You're not Severus."

"So glad you noticed." Draco wasn't alarmed. Stranger things had happened. "I'm Draco."

"Mmmm . . . you're much prettier than Severus. I'm Maven. Step back so I can see you."

Draco obligingly stepped back, he even did a half turn. "Now, if you would move to one side? You're distorting my view."

"Sorry." The tone was sulky. She moved to the right corner. "Tell me," she said slyly. "Are you his friend? He seldom socializes."

"No, I'm just his student. Are you an enchanted mirror?"

"Yes, Severus made me as a school project." She watched him in the mirror. "Unlike most magic mirrors, I was imbued with a personality, not just animation," Maven said proudly.

"I can see that. And you've been with him this whole time?"

"Yes," Maven pouted. "I wanted to move out on my own but he said mirrors don't have careers in Muggle movies," she complained. Her demeanor was sulky, like a child who was denied a treat.

"That sounds like him." Draco contemplated her a moment. "What do you do for Severus?"

"Naughty boy!" Maven giggled. "I'll never tell."

"Alright." Draco smiled at her, liking the saucy mirror despite himself. "It was very nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too." A feminine hand appeared in the mirror and she blew him a kiss. "Can you do me a favor?"

"Why not?"

"Open the drawer below me." Draco did so. "Pour that hair grease down the drain. That stuff is awful. It makes him look like he's swum through an oil slick."

Draco poured it down the drain and tossed the bottle into the waste basket. "That should take care of it."

"Thank you, Draco. Will you visit me again?"

"Maybe. Goodnight, Maven."

"You know, this is a black and silver ball." She giggled. "Maybe you should change your tie."

"I think so too." Draco withdrew his wand. "Transforment colour!" His tie switched to silver. "That looks better."

"I think so too." Maven sounded sad. "Wish I could go too."

"Trust me, it won't be much fun."

Harry was listening intently. They were going to a party. And obviously Snape and Hermione were going too. A Death Eater party? Maven's silver eyes fastened on him and she rose one eyebrow. Harry put his finger to his lips and she smiled back at him, happy to have a secret for once.

"Goodnight, Draco," Maven called as Draco left the room.

Harry followed after him but stopped in front of the mirror. "Thank you," he whispered to the mirror.

"Anytime, Harry," Maven said impudently. "I've heard a lot about you."

Harry was about to ask her what Snape said but thought better of it. He didn't want to miss the action. "G'night, Maven," he murmured.

****

* * *

"Hermione, you may change in my bedroom." He escorted her down the hall to his room. Severus opened the door to a Slytherin fantasy. A large fireplace dominated the room. It was shaped like a serpent's head. Between its three foot long fangs sat a neat row of logs. It was made of white marble. Its two red eyes winked in the firelight.

The bed was king-sized and swathed in emerald green satin. The bed itself was wrought iron and four-postered. There were a couple of armoires against the wall and a thick trunk at the end of the bed. Over all it was a beautiful if dramatic room.

"You imagined Salazar Slytherin was shy and retiring?" Severus smiled. "Get dressed. We should leave soon." He closed the door behind himself.

Hermione laid her garment bag down on the trunk. It felt odd to be disrobing in a professor's bedroom. Illicit. And conversely, exciting. Hermione's hand settled on the green counterpane. She wondered what it would it be like to sleep in that big bed. This might be her only shot. Shooting a look over her shoulder in case anyone were to see her before she hopped up onto the bed and rested her head on a pillow. The bedding smelled like Severus. Sandalwood and a hint of sage. Hermione sighed. She could lay like this forever but she didn't have that luxury. Reluctantly, she got up.

Twenty minutes later, she was ready, thanks to some expensive beauty products and a little magic. Hermione had her make-up applied. Her hair was piled on top of her head and it lay in neat curls around her face. She had all of her undergarments on and was in her gown but couldn't manage to get it zipped. Where was your gay best friend when you really needed him? Resigned, she slipped her silver slippers on and walked to the door.

Severus was in the hallway, leaning against the door. His mouth fell open as he saw Hermione. The fire-light, the dress, and her dreamy expression added an air of sophistication to her. She was no longer a little school girl in a uniform. He couldn't take his eyes from her. She was a vision. "You look lovely," He managed, swallowing the lump in his throat.

"Oh, thanks." She'd never been good at accepting compliments. She motioned for him to come in. "I need your help!" Hermione presented him with her back. "I can't get it zipped."

"Allow me." Severus placed his hand at the base of her spine. Hermione trembled a little at his touch. He grasped the zipper and drew it up her back. Disappointing to see that creamy skin slowly disappear from his sight. He took great care not to pinch her skin and drew out the process longer. Why did touching her feel so right? When he finished, Severus reluctantly removed his hands. "Done."

"Thank you." She turned to face him, her cheeks were suffused with pink.

Severus opened his jacket and withdrew a black satin pouch. "For you." He handed it to her. Inside, were two elbow-length black gloves. "It will disguise the fact that you don't have the Dark Mark yet."

"Thank you, Severus." She pulled them on her arms, grateful for the concealment.

"We need masks." He pulled two simple black masks from the trunk at the end of the bed. They were on a silver handle that could be placed against the face. They only covered the eyes and nose. His was slightly larger than hers.

"What's the point? Don't they know everyone at the party?"

"That's part of the charm of a masked ball, Hermione. They get to pretend to be someone else." He sighed. "Are you ready?"

"No," she admitted. She picked up her shawl from the bed.

"I understand," Severus took the piece of tulle from her and wrapped it around her shoulders. "The first time is always like that." He rested his hands on her shoulders and took a step closer.

"The first time?" Hermione was acutely aware of the bed against the back of her knees.

"It's terrifying and exciting at the same time," Severus murmured. He wasn't sure what he was talking about right now but it sure as hell wasn't Malfoy's party.

"I-I can see that." Her face was upturned, his breath was warm on her cheek.

"Trust me. I'll guide you, teach you . . ." His lips hovered over hers. "Follow me."

"I'm ready." Hermione bridged the distance between them by placing her lips against his own.

Severus closed his eyes. She was sweet and yielding and everything he imagined she would be. He deepened the kiss and was gratified to see her respond in kind. She relaxed against him, her small hand clutching his shirt collar. Somewhere inside, he knew this was wrong, and the stronger part of himself didn't care. And, having tasted her once, Severus was destined to want more. She was everything bright and beautiful. He was unworthy of someone so innocent. He only hoped that he didn't corrupt her with the darkness within himself.

Hermione was in the middle of maelstrom. This wasn't the pleasant kiss of a teenage boy. He tasted of power and shadows. Things that made your heart beat faster and your breath catch. She wanted more . . . wanted to drown herself in him. Even the dark part of him. Hermione only hoped that she could hold his attention.

When he lifted his mouth from hers, they silently gazed at each other. Neither one of them could put words to what had happened. Severus took a deep breath and when he spoke, his voice was hoarse. "Beware. You've entered the serpent's den, Hermione." She noted that the scenery around them had changed. They were in the foyer of Malfoy Manor.

"How?"

"A spell." Severus' smile didn't reach his bottomless black eyes. "Useful when . . . transporting people." Hermione shuddered involuntarily. He hadn't been lying when he said that he would be more evil here.

"Welcome," Lucius drawled. He was leaning indolently against the staircase, a glass of champagne in his hand.

"Showtime," Severus murmured. He placed his hand in the small of her back and pressed her forward.

****

* * *

Draco stepped out into an empty room. "Bloody hell." He hoped he wasn't late. His father wasn't going to like that at all.

Harry realized that Hermione and Snape must have already Apparated. Which meant that Draco was leaving. Harry decided this was one party Draco wouldn't be attending alone. He waited until Draco closed his eyes, and threw off the invisibility cloak, it would do him no good at a Death Eater soiree. Snape had made it clear that they were well versed in sensing cloaking devices. Stepping forward, he cupped Malfoy's chin in one hand, putting his other hand on his arm, where the Dark Mark should be, and gently brushed his lips over his. Draco opened his eyes just as he Apparated. "Potter!"

"Malfoy," Harry whispered as they appeared in the Malfoy Manor. "Nice place. This yours?"

"What do you think you're doing?" Draco hissed.

"You didn't want to be the only one without a date, did you?" Harry smirked back, trying to hide the fact that his heart was racing. "Speaking of . . . shouldn't Pansy be here with you?"

"She's not allowed to go to Malfoy parties," Draco said, eager to close the subject.

"Why? This looks like the perfect chance to mingle with murderers."

Draco let it slide. After all, it was the truth. "Let's just say her father doesn't want her to get too close to mine."

Harry heard footsteps echoing down the hall and took a step into the shadows.

"I should let them have you." Draco scowled. Quickly, he drew his wand. Harry flinched but the blond boy merely transfigured his school uniform into a tuxedo and his glasses into a mask. "If you make it through this, Hero, I'm going to thrash you within an inch of your life." He bared his teeth. "Believe me - I'll enjoy it."

"Now, what concern?" Harry smiled. "Didn't know you cared."

"Just don't want anyone else to kill you, Hero. That privilege should be mine."

"Draco! So nice of you to drop in." Lucius' voice dripped sarcasm. "Ah, and you brought a friend." He didn't even give the other boy a second glance.

"Friend?" Draco lifted a brow. "Yes, a very close and personal friend."

"Enjoy your . . . indiscretions . . . while you can." Lucius taunted. "You still have to marry a Slytherin debutante. It's your duty."

"And here I thought all I had to do to be a Malfoy was get drunk and kill Muggles." Draco sneered, grabbing Harry's arm and escorting him past the elder Malfoy.

Lucius clutched Draco's shoulder. "I'll let that go, this time, son."

"Kind of you, Dad." They disappeared into the throng of Death Eaters. Draco released Harry's arm and made his way to the bar. "Pumpkin juice," he ordered. The bartender dutifully filled a glass and handed it to him. Draco made it a point to never drink at these parties. He handed Harry an empty champagne glass. Harry stared at the crystal. "You waiting for an invitation, Hero?" He pointed to the champagne fountain on the nearby table.

"I've been known to invite myself," Harry rejoined before he drifted to the other table. While he had noted Draco's pointed 'not drinking' move, his nerves needed this. He filled his champagne flute. He almost felt sympathy for Draco. Merlin knows his own home life hadn't been filled with hugs and cookies. Although, Harry had never joined an evil club to deal with that.

"So? Did you want to join or were you just bored?"

"I told you Malfoy, I just wanted to save you from being a wallflower at your own party."

"Your concern is touching," Draco said sarcastically, his lips settling into a smile filled with innuendo. "But I never lack for company." He took a drink of his juice. "In fact, Hermione and I are very close."

"Yes, I saw, ferret face." Harry couldn't help but laugh.

"Are you stalking me now, Hero?" He raised one eyebrow. "Who'd have thought a little kiss would earn that much devotion?"

"Don't flatter yourself, Malfoy. I've forgotten all about it."

"Once more, with feeling," Draco insinuated.

"Actually, I only came here for Hermione. She doesn't belong here; she's going to get hurt."

"Leave her alone, Hero. She doesn't need your protection. One less innocent for you to save." He pointed out Hermione in a crowd where she stood next to Professor Snape. "Come on, can't have you standing about and glaring at people. They might get suspicious." He turned away and walked towards two chairs situated by the terrace.

Harry reluctantly followed. They sat down, the wooden chairs crackling as they did so. "So, you are a Death Eater."

"That's jumping to conclusions, isn't it?" Draco drawled. "Is this a clever ploy to get me to take my shirt off?"

"Dammit! I forgot to look again when you were changing." Harry was shocked to find out he'd said that out loud. Maybe the champagne had been a bad idea.

"You watched me change?" He watched Harry over the rim of his glass. "See anything you like, Hero?"

"I didn't actually . . . no." He tried to look smug. "I've seen better."

"Well, we're not all Wood, are we?"

Harry spit out the champagne in his mouth. "Excuse me?!"

"Oliver Wood? Former Gryffindor keeper?"

"Right. Wood." Harry took a large sip. "Wait a minute, how do you know wh-"

"This is hardly the place for kiss and tell, Potter. At least, on my part. " He leaned forward conspiratorially. "So, how long have Severus and Hermione been shagging?"

Harry sputtered again, spitting the champagne back out.

"Don't you have any manners?"

"Don't you? They aren't! Hermione would never . . . she had to . . . no one would touch Snape for fun."

"Shows what you know." Draco pointed them out to Harry again. Now, they were dancing very close to each other. It was proper, but looked anything but innocent. "Oh, yes, she looks like she's being tortured."

****

* * *

Hermione had been amazed when they had entered the ballroom. There was an orchestra comprised of enchanted instruments. A crowd of sophisticates were on the dance floor. There were ice sculptures in the shape of snakes and well-dressed waiters had trays of hors d'oeuvres they were passing out to hungry party goers. Despite herself, Hermione was intrigued. For just a minute, she was a girl in a beautiful dress at a ball lovely enough for Cinderella to attend.

Severus had taken her arm as soon as they sighted Malfoy. She glanced up at him and his face was set in grim lines. "What's wrong?"

He ignored her question. "Why don't we get a drink?" Severus snagged a couple of full champagne flutes from a passing waiter. "Only one. We must have our wits about us. And remember, no paté."

"How are you enjoying my party?" Lucius asked, coming up beside Hermione.

"We only just got here. It was five minutes ago," Severus said tightly. "Think back."

"Would you care to dance?" Lucius asked Hermione, completely ignoring the other man.

"No, thank you." It was polite but brooked no argument. Hermione filled her mouth with champagne.

"Ah, keeps you on a tight leash, does he?"

Ewwwwww. "I haven't had a dance with Severus yet." She looked up at him hopefully.

"So sorry, Malfoy. She's taken." With that, he led her to the dance floor, depositing their glasses on a table as he passed.

"What a horrible man," Hermione said irritably. "No wonder Draco's so awful."

"He's not so bad once you get to know him." He placed a hand on her waist, pulling her a little closer than was necessary and they began to waltz.

"Yeah, well, he's not kissing you." She searched his face as a thought occurred to her. "He's not, right?"

"No." He smiled. "And I might be the only person in Slytherin House to have that distinction."

"Except for the snakes." Her brow furrowed "You don't think he's kissed the snakes, do you?"

"Why all this interest in his sexual proclivities?"

"I just want to know how high-powered of a mouth wash to use, that's all." Hermione smiled at him. "You almost sound jealous."

"What if I am?" He whispered.

"What was that?" She looked up at him.

"Nothing." His eyes caught a movement over her head. "Damn that boy."

"What is it?" She tried to turn around and look, but he held her fast.

"Let's just pray Malfoy's properly distracted." Severus frowned. He had talked to Draco about deliberately baiting his father. "And doesn't see his son flaunting his - "

"Sexual proclivities?" Hermione tossed back his own phrase.

"Yes." He whirled them away from the corner of the dance floor Draco was approaching to avoid the fireworks.

****

* * *

Draco stood up and bowed at the waist. "May I have this dance?" It was said in a formal tone but full of mockery.

"What would your father think?"

"Who gives a bloody damn? Shall we?" Draco started away.

"Who's going to lead?" Harry was confused by the request. He wasn't completely sure this wasn't a tactic to throw him off guard.

"I am." They reached the edge of the dance floor and Draco offered his hand to Harry. "Unless you're afraid?"

"Of you?" Harry's tone suggested that he thought it was a ridiculous question. He took Draco's hand, resting his other on his shoulder. Draco gripped his waist and led them expertly through the dance. "Do this often?"

"I took dance lessons for three years. All Malfoys do," Draco commented, moving lightly on his feet.

"Why are you dancing with me?" Harry asked, his green eyes piercing.

"You wanted to be my date, Hero." Draco smirked. "Thought I'd show you a good time."

Harry caught sight of Lucius. His face was thunderous. "Sure it wasn't to piss of your old man?"

"That too." Draco pulled him closer, smirking suggestively. "Know what would really piss him off?"

"If you dumped champagne on his new shoes?" Harry suggested, suddenly nervous. He didn't care if Draco wanted to make a scene, but he'd really rather not draw a lot of attention to himself right now.

"C'mon, Hero. How about a real kiss?" Draco angled his face over Harry's.

"Why don't we just take our masks off and go skipping hand in hand over the cocktail bar?" Harry asked caustically. "Really, why bother hiding me at all if you're just going to - "

"Shut up, Hero." Malfoy kissed him. He removed his hand from Harry's to bury in the thick black hair, gently scratching his neck. Draco bit into Harry's lower lip, noting the taste of champagne. Harry gasped, involuntarily leaning in to Draco's embrace. He started to deepen the kiss when a large hand clamped on his shoulder.

"If you wanted my attention, you could've asked for it," Lucius remarked icily.

"I've been asking for eighteen years. Got tired of waiting," Draco jeered, as he stepped away from Harry, but kept a hand on him at all times. Lucius let go of Draco's arm, and Harry noted the way Draco flexed it as if Lucius had gripped too tightly. Harry's eyes narrowed.

"Well, you have it now." Lucius slowly drained another glass of champagne. "Aren't you going to introduce your friend?"

"No, I don't think I am." Draco stepped in between the two, seeming almost protective.

Lucius addressed Harry. "You might as well give up on him. He's meant for someone else."

"Like whom I marry affects who I sleep with," Draco pointed out. "How is Mother by the way? Tell me, did she bring Goyle's older brother again, or has she moved on from him?"

"Watch your mouth. This isn't the place or time," Lucius instructed him coldly.

"Never is." Draco shook his head.

"I take it your companion is from Hogwarts?" Lucius already had another glass in hand.

"Yes, I am," Harry stated firmly, beginning to really feel sorry for Draco. His father was obviously intoxicated and seemed to be getting meaner by the minute. He noticed Draco had yet to let go of his arm.

"Are you in the same year?" Lucius narrowed his eyes. There was something almost familiar about the boy's voice.

Harry was about to answer when Draco intervened. "Wondering if he's old enough for me? Odd, not usually something you concern yourself with."

"Ah, Draco. Good to see you outside of school." Severus stepped to the side of the father and son pair, Hermione's hand tucked carefully in his arm. "How are you enjoying your father's party?"

"Very well, sir," he said respectfully, finally letting go of Harry at Snape's pointed look.

"I was wondering if I might speak to your father for a moment. Perhaps your friend won't mind if you dance with Miss Granger for a moment?" He didn't want to leave her unattended. Draco nodded, formally extending his arm for Hermione to take. Severus led Lucius out onto the balcony, and Harry made himself as inconspicuous as he could, standing by the champagne fountain.

Severus glowered at Malfoy. "What did you think you were doing?"

"Conversing with my son."

"That's not what I meant." Snape hissed. "I thought I made it clear that all attacks on Hogwarts should be cleared through me."

"Didn't you enjoy the show?" Lucius sneered.

"About as much as I enjoy your company." Severus folded his arms over his chest. "And another thing, keep your hands to yourself, Malfoy. I've told you before, I don't share."

****

* * *

Hermione searched for Snape over Draco's shoulder. "Where is he?"

"Relax. They're just talking business," Draco assured her.

"Pardon my bluntness, but your father's a - "

"I know what he is." Draco whirled them around.

"He was very angry," she said.

"That was the plan." Draco grinned. "He doesn't like the idea that his only son's gay. I don't like the idea that he's a lousy father. It's a trade-off."

"What about your mother?" She asked quietly. "Does she care?"

"Narcissa? Like she even notices me." Draco snorted. "She's busy with her own . . .entertainments." His expression was carefully blank. " She had her assistant send me a birthday card last year. Like I've never seen her handwriting. The inscription said fondly."

"You're kidding."

"Hardly." Draco sighed. "That's alright, Granger, I had the best childhood money could buy. And despite what he said tonight, he's proud of me most of the time. Proud of what I'm supposed to be."

"And that is what, exactly?" She turned knowing eyes on him.

"I'll never tell." He grinned, his eyes finding Harry as they moved about the dance floor. Hermione caught the look.

"So, who's you're friend?" She raised a brow.

"My friend?" His smirk widened. "Just another Death Eater in training."


	14. Monsters

**TITLE:** Trading Spaces 14

**RATING:** R (slash warning m/m)

**PAIRING:** HG/SS, HP/DM, HP/HG (friendship), RW/HG/HP (friendship)

**Chapter Fourteen: Monsters**

****

* * *

The dance floor was becoming more crowded, there were scores of Death Eaters covered by bejeweled masks. Hermione just saw flashes of them as she peered over Draco's shoulders. Large torches had been fired to light the dance floor as well as stave off the slight chill in the air. Hermione noted that the music had become a little darker with a deeper beat. She and Draco still continued to dance. Severus seemed to be having an in depth conversation with Lucius Malfoy.

"You're a good dancer," Hermione complimented him. She was telling the truth, he was light on his feet.

"You aren't as bad as I would have thought," Draco replied.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "And now I know why you don't date girls."

"Oh, but I have. Girls and guys. I suppose it's all the same," Draco sounded blasé.

"I could point out one or two differences," She said wryly.

A smile ghosted over his lips. "That's wrapping. I meant that, aside from the naughty bits, they're all the same. Interchangeable."

"Harry's not." Hermione waited for a reaction.

"You think you know him so well?"

"I've been one of his best friends for about seven years," Hermione said smugly. "I might know a thing or two about him."

"As much I'd like to debate you on the finer points of the infamous. . . excuse me . . . famous Harry Potter, we should attend to other matters."

"Such as?"

Draco pulled her closer, slipping his arm around her waist and pressing her against his chest. "Our sordid little relationship."

Hermione fought the urge to push him away or slap him across his smug face. "Fake relationship. Back off, Malfoy, or I'll flippendo you into the punch bowl."

"Why? This is the perfect venue. The Slytherins need their own floor show." Draco insisted as he twirled her around to get a better view. He sought out Potter and saw him clutching his champagne glass, an inscrutable expression on his face as he stared at them.

"Everyone here thinks I'm involved with Severus," she said through gritted teeth. There was something wild in his eyes tonight and she shivered involuntarily.

Draco bent over and whispered in her ear, "Death Eaters are a generous lot, Hermione. We all share."

Hermione turned her face until they were nose to nose and she chose her words very carefully. "I don't think it's me you want to screw with."

Draco recoiled, putting a safe distance between their bodies. "Well, if you don't want to play . . ."

"May I cut in?" Draco's 'date' appeared at her shoulder.

"Never pass up a chance to rescue a damsel in distress, eh, Hero?" Draco spared them both a contemptuous glance before he bowed formally and quit the dance floor.

Hermione glared daggers at Draco's back as he disappeared into the crowd. Then, she turned her ire on her dance partner. "You think you're so sneaky, don't you?"

"How did you . . . what are you talking about?" The voice lowered and took on a raspy quality.

"I'm saying that the gig is up, Clark. I can see right through your glasses and I know you're Superman."

Harry's shoulders slumped. He'd planned on teasing her a bit. His voice moved to its normal octave. "You've been reading my comic books again."

"Have you lost your mind? Go home before you get yourself killed!"

"I can't go home." Harry grinned. "I'm Malfoy's date."

"And that's another thing, what were you doing making out with Malfoy in front of Death Eaters and country?"

"Me?! You! Why were you, you know . . ." He clutched her in what she assumed was his lecherous old man impression. "With Snape? How much alcohol have you had?"

"None," she lied.

"Spell?"

"No."

"Polyjuice potion?" Harry asked hopefully.

"No, I'm - " She leaned in closer and confided, "spying on the Death Eaters." She leaned back and looked 'inconspicious.' Two or three people next to them glanced at them curiously but hadn't overheard their conversation.

"You have had some champagne, haven't you?"

"Little bit."

"I'll leave if you leave," Harry promised.

"I can't. I have to blend in, get some information, that sort of thing."

"Great. It's settled. We're both staying."

"You and Malfoy, huh?" Hermione smiled wickedly. "Didn't know you had a thing for bad boys."

"He was my ticket into this place. Don't read too much into it."

"Uh oh, Severus is coming and he doesn't look happy."

Harry went on the offensive because she brought up Draco. "Oh, its Severus, huh? Before you know you'll be calling him Sever and then it'll be Sev. Pretty soon you'll just call him 'S' and you'll sound like the snakes."

"Shhh!"

"See! I told you."

"Hermione," Severus said as he joined them. He eyed her companion. "You are a very stupid boy."

"Dammit," Harry said crossly. "You knew it was me?"

"Go home at once," Severus ordered.

Draco tapped Professor Snape on the shoulder. "I want him to stay."

"Let's move this off the dance floor. Shall we?" Severus took Hermione's arm and lead the group into the corner of the room. "We're starting to attract attention."

"Oh, yeah, we don't look suspicious or anything. We're just having a little bit of a meeting," Hermione muttered but no one was paying her any attention.

Severus barely waited to be out of general earshot before lighting into Draco. "I thought you had better sense, Draco, than to pull a stunt like this. Do you have any idea - "

"I already have a disapproving father figure, thank you. I really don't need or want another," Draco cut him off. He raised one eyebrow, regarding Snape with icy, aristocratic disdain, almost _too _reminiscent of his father. "And I shouldn't have to remind you whose house you're in now. You might want to watch your tone, _Severus_."

Draco turned to Harry, both his tone and face lightening. "Do you want to hear the speech or see how the other half lives, Hero?"

Harry was torn for a second. He was used to opposing Malfoy every chance he got, but the opportunity to blatantly disobey Snape's wishes when he couldn't do a thing about it was too tempting. He smiled in answer and the two young men quickly rejoined the party.

Severus heaved a disgusted sigh and rested weary eyes on Hermione.

Hermione patted his hand. "If it helps, I thought you were very intimidating."

Suddenly, the room fell silent.

Lucius Malfoy was situated in front of the orchestra instruments. He sauntered to the center of the room, casting 'sonorous' as he moved. The tall aristocrat played the part of the gracious host to the hilt as he spoke. "I hope you are all enjoying yourselves." There was applause from the audience. "So good to hear." Malfoy bowed with faux modesty. "We have a lot to celebrate this year. And to add to the festivities, I've arranged for some unique entertainment."

Harry shot a glance at Draco who was standing next to him with clenched fists. He had a feeling that whatever Lucius had in store would not be a good thing.

Across the room, Hermione asked her fellow spy, "Entertainment?"

Severus was stoic. "Lucius loves his amusements."

Hermione knew that this probably wasn't going to be a movie. She gulped and focused on the cold blond man once more.

"Are all of you familiar with Muggle fox hunts?" There were several nods. They might be Wizards but they were also English.

"They're going to hunt and kill a poor defenseless fox?" Hermione demanded.

Severus didn't spare her a glance. "A fox? No, that's not what they're going to hunt."

The color drained from Hermione's face.

Draco's hands slid up his arms of their own accord, he wasn't sure if it was to ward off the sudden dip in temperature or to keep them from striking out. Harry's hand reached without thought and settled on the other boy's shoulder. "What's wrong?"

Draco accepted the comforting touch. "What isn't?"

****

* * *

"I wish the Death Eaters would come here!" The book made a menacing face, but it was disrupted by the snakes each clapping a tail over its mouth.

_"Shut up! What'ssss wrong with you!" Snippy hissed._

_"Yeah, you might as well say, 'At least it can't get any worse' or 'I'm sure we're perfectly safe'. Why don't you send the Death Eaters an engraved invitation?"_ Snarky poked Sheldon for emphasis.

"But I can defeat them! I have spells," the book spoke slowly, so they'd understand. "Bad, evil spells. I could take the Dark Lord out - check out page 117!"

The snakes shook their heads. He was cramping their snakey style. There was a reason why they were a twosome. Snippy and Snarky were only keeping Sheldon around to distract the Death Eaters while the snakes made a quick getaway. Well, that and he was a convenient target for their rapier-like wit.

_"Whatever."_ Snippy sighed. _"Right now we have an evil mission." _Sheldon perked up. _"There is a room to be messed up and candy to find." _

They carefully slunk around the corridors to the Slytherin dorms. They passed the occasional Auror and the snakes hissed at them and then laughed when they reacted. They slithered into the common room and the snakes heaved a sigh of relief.

Snippy and Snarky slid into Harry's room. Sheldon was right behind them. He was making comments on how pretty the 'evil' wallpaper was and how nice the 'evil' paintings went with the decor. Snippy leapt onto the bed. _"Ssso, what do you think, Snarky? Cereal in the sheets? Peanut butter on the pillow?"_ He whipped his tail back and forth. _"The old snake in the bed?"_

Snarky was sullen as he stood on the floor. _"Have you got the feeling that Harry's holding out on us? I mean, we only found five chocolate frogs during our candy inspection last week. And they were stale."_

Snippy moved to the edge of the mattress. _"Growing boys need their candy, and it's not like Harry to keep stale candy,"_ he agreed. _"Hey . . . do you think he's been hiding it?"_

Snarky perked up. _"He's really becoming a Ssslytherin. Too bad we know all the hidey holes in this place."_ They snickered.

_"If I know Harry . . ."_ Snippy paused to think.

_"In the closet?"_ Snarky snickered.

_"Funny - but wrong."_ Snippy shook his head. _"I already looked there. Try under the bed."_ Snippy hung his head over, peering below.

Snarky moved slowly over the floor boards, flickering his tongue at the cracks. _"Yesss . . . here it is!"_ He tried to pry up the board with his tail. _"No good. Won't budge."_

_"Oh, Sheldon!"_ Snippy called. _"A little assistance, please."_

_"I_ don't think so. I am the Mascot of Evil!" The Book stated, crossings its arms over its cover. Gilderoy's picture frowned and shook his head. "Not a common candy thief."

_"There is nothing common about the thievery of candy,"_ Snarky announced, glaring at the Book.

_"It is a complicated process, with a long, distinguished hisssstory," _Snippy declared. _"A history established by us!"_

"A history?" The Book scoffed. "You'll have to do better than that to impress the Blackest Magic. Ever."

_"We stole candy from Tom Riddle,"_ Snarky bragged. He thought back. _"He was always a little creepy. Kept to himself."_

_"Always sssskulking about in dark corners . . ."_

_"Muttering to himself . . ."_

_"Rubbing his hands together," _Snippy finished.

_"The cackling alone. . ."_

"So what?" Sheldon wasn't impressed, and seemed irritated for some reason.

_"We heisted chocolate off of Salazar Slytherin,"_ Snarky offered. _"Used to eat it and plant the wrappers on Godric Gryffindor."_

_"Until they had that big falling out . . ."_

_"They used to be so much fun to set up,"_ Snarky added sadly. _"Big fights. Lots of arguing. Zap! Zap! Zap!"_

_"Mmm . . . hexes aplenty. Reminds me of Draco and Harry a little bit."_ Snippy nodded. _"Good times." _

_"And, best of all, unprotected candy."_

"You're lying. You haven't been around that long." The Book pouted.

_"Oh no? Do you know what kind of snakes we are?"_ Hissed Snippy, angry now.

"No," The book said, offended. "You have me confused with another volume. When Magical Creatures . . ." He did an athletic jump forward, making his hands into claws. "Attack!" He thought for a moment. "Used to be on a shelf with one of those. Guy named Steve. He used to jump on me and say, 'you're all right, you're all right lil' fella." The book frowned. "And when I told him not to do it anymore, he'd say, "By crikey, you're a grumpy one!"

Snippy looked puzzled. _"Are you trying to say Steve and you - "_

_"We're Parsel snakes,"_ Snarky informed him, ignoring the bizarre, bookish, homoerotic subtext. _"Our line was created and adopted by Salazar himself. We're pureblood snakes, never mix with other breeds."_

_"Parsel? Like Parselmouth? Parseltongue?"_ The book questioned, intrigued.

_"That'sss right."_ Snippy smirked. _"But that's a whole other story."_

****

* * *

They were standing in the middle of a field lit by torches stuck in the ground. Harry could see Malfoy Manor in the distance. He could see a hazy glow surrounding them, no doubt a charm to hide them from anyone who might be unfortunate enough to stumble upon them.

Lucius Malfoy stood in the center of the group, ever the showman. "Ladies and Gentlemen, before we begin, allow me to direct your attention to our choice of mounts for the evening." He gestured to a dozen black mares with white manes, their coloring obviously achieved by magical means. The crowd murmured their approval. "And our prey for the evening." Two large boxes, covered by a black satin cloth appeared next to him.

With a flourish, he whipped the cloths off, revealing two large animal cages. In one was an eleven year old boy, in the other his twelve year old sister. Their clothes and faces were clean. Their eyes were red from crying. The boy was shaking in fright. "These two Squibs will be given a five minute head start. Then a bugle will sound, and we will release my hunting dogs." Lucius gestured to two large mastiffs who were pawing the ground and baying at the sound of prey. Their leashes were held by four house-elves who barely kept them in check. "Don't worry. They've been trained not too bite too hard, just hold the prey in place. As soon as they are released you are free to start the hunting party."

There was applause and little cries of delight as the interested 'hunters' perused the horses and patted the dog's heads. The girl inside the cage stared daggers at Lucius while her brother broke into tears. He turned his attention back to the cages, looking the girl over while she glared back at him. "You're older than I thought."

"This isn't right! Let him go - I'll stay," she pleaded, though she could not disguise the angry tones in her voice.

"Are you trying to order me around, little Squib?" Malfoy peered down at her. "How amusing. Thought you figured out last night that it wouldn't do you any good."

"He has a bad leg. He can't run," she said. "Where's the fun in chasing something you know you'll catch?"

"Why, in listening to him scream when we do." He laughed and walked over to the horses.

Hermione mentally assessed the crowd over, rapidly calculating the odds in her mind. She could take out the two by the cages. Harry could steal a horse or two . . . hmmm . . . no, they were probably enchanted not to leave the Malfoy Estate. She gripped Severus' arm. "Where should we start?"

"You don't actually want to participate, do you?" Severus was taken aback.

"You mean you're not going to try to stop them?" She gasped.

"We can't," he said firmly. "Unless you want to be added to the mix."

"How can you just stand there and do nothing?" Hermione demanded.

"Quite an improvement from what I used to do at these gatherings," he said quietly.

"I have to - "

"No the only thing you have to do is get a hold of yourself. Remember where you are and what's at stake, Hermione." Severus tried to look in her eyes. "Not getting caught is the tip of the iceberg, my sweet." She flinched at the endearment. "The hard part of what we do, is standing back and watching."

Hermione met his eyes, her vision was blurry from unshed tears. She nodded reluctantly and then removed her arm from his, standing rigidly at his side.

The 'hunting party' was mounted, lined up and ready to go. Lucius trotted in front of them on his own horse, ignoring his wife while she kissed her boyfriend for good luck in the hunt. "Now, don't forget the first back with a Squib receives a prize!"

"What, another portkey to Knockturn alley?" Mocked a voice in the back.

"Or season quidditch tickets? If they ever play the World Cup again?" Another snickered.

"Oh, I have something really special." Lucius smirked. He pulled a small silver box from his pocket. It was wrapped with green ribbon. "This, ladies and gentlemen, is a portkey."

"Told you." Came the first voice.

"Not just any portkey," Lucius asserted. "Can you guess what makes this one special?"

"Where does it take you to?" A woman asked.

"Nowhere. This portkey has already been used once and cannot be used again."

"By who?" Some one else demanded.

"Why, by the famous Mr. Harry Potter. During the Triwizard Tournament," Lucius crowed. "For a one-on-one meeting with the Dark Lord himself. Well, one-on-one since he got rid of that Hufflepuff whelp." They all shared a smile.

Draco glanced at Harry. The dark haired young man was staring straight at Lucius, expressionless. But the hands clasped behind Harry's back were white knuckled. His jaw was clenched and his eyes looked as if they were boring holes into Malfoy. "You alright, Hero?"

"Just enjoying how the other half lives," Harry replied tightly. Draco was about to respond when the cages were opened and the children scurried off into the trees, the dogs barking loudly as they waited to chase them.

****

* * *

Ron settled down into a chair by the fire, wearily rubbing his eyes and sighed.

"I wish I could wipe that image off my eyes, too." The small griffin was perched on the arm of his chair, looking up at him.

"Griff!" Ron pulled him onto his lap.

"Hello, Ron." Griff-Gruff leaned into him and permitted him to scratch his ears. "What the hell is going on?" Ron asked, bewildered by the many changes.

"It's a long story. But believe me, no one has suffered, the way I've suffered. I've been trapped with that dunderhead Malfoy and Prissy, excuse me, Pansy Parkinson for two weeks."

"Yikes! I'm sorry, Griff."

"Thank you," Griff-Gruff sniffed as he leapt onto the armrest again. "It's like living in a monkey house."

"Yeah, and Draco's the big baboon."

"Or buffoon."

They both exchanged cheeky, superior grins worthy of Godric Gryffindor himself.

"I don't know how, but it must be Malfoy's fault," Ron said morosely.

"Most likely," Griff-Gruff agreed. "He has a tendency to screw things up. Couldn't even get my cream the right temperature."

"Everyone knows you like it just this side of body temperature."

The griffin nodded, proud of his student. "Not everyone is as bright as my Gryffindors."

"I can't believe he . . . and Hermione . . ."

"She used to be such a nice girl," Griff-Gruff lamented. "That's what you get when you associate with Slytherins." He looked left and then right before he leaned in. "And I heard that she was very familiar with a certain professor as well."

Ron was afraid he knew the answer to this. "Flitwick?" He asked hopefully.

"No."

"Dumbledore?"

"He's old enough to be her ancestor. No."

"Uh, Slub?"

"No, this is much worse."

"Trelawney?"

"Be realistic. No, she is, and I have this on bad authority, having an immoral liaison with Severus Snape."

"Gyugah!"

****

* * *

Hermione could hear the deep baying off the hounds as they chased their terrorized prey. She could also hear the pounding of the horses' hooves as they were driven on by their riders. Their laughing was punctuated by the pitiful calls of the young boy as he searched for his sister. Hermione was having difficulty standing. Tears were openly running down her face and she swiped them from her cheeks with the backs of her hands.

Severus had seen far worse amusements than this. He was actually relieved that it hadn't been something more monstrous. He had offered his handkerchief to Hermione but she had angrily batted at his hand and it had landed on the cold ground. Luckily, the other spectators were too busy nattering on to one another and speculating about the outcome of the hunt to notice Hermione's reaction.

Across the field, Draco affected a yawn. "I'm bored with this," he announced. "Seen enough, Hero?"

A muscle worked in Harry's jaw and his attention was on the dark mass of trees ahead of them. "Not yet."

Draco forcibly turned Harry's head until he was looking at him once more. "You're honestly telling me that--"

"I want to see who wins." With that, Harry turned his attention back to the woods.

Draco trailed a hand up Harry's sleeve. "Funny, I didn't see a Dark Mark on your arm."

"Last I checked, there wasn't one on yours, either." Harry kept his eyes on the woods.

"No, not yet," Draco whispered tightly.

A rider broke through the tree line with the boy over his saddle. His companions gave a triumphant cheer at his return and he waived to the crowd. He sidled up next to Draco and Harry and shoved the boy off of the horse. He landed on the grass with a sickening thud. The child screamed as his leg twisted underneath him. His arms were covered in vicious dog bites and his nose was bloody.

Draco couldn't look away from the boy. He was still alive, but just barely. His blue eyes fastened on Draco, beseeching him for some sort of assistance. Unfortunately, he had none to give. He closed his eyes, unable to bare the weight of the boy's despair.

Harry offered the 'winner' his hand. "Congratulations." The man briefly shook his hand and trotted away to rejoin his cronies. Harry's face was devoid of any emotion whatsoever.

It chilled Draco to his proverbial bones.

"Well, I've had enough debauchery for one evening." Draco turned on his heel and sought out Professor Snape's lanky form in the crowd. Harry reluctantly followed him.

Just then, Lucius and his mount cantered to a halt in front of Severus. The girl was face down across his lap, his hand rested on her thigh. Her skirt was ripped and there was blood on her legs. Unlike her brother, her jaw was firm and her eyes were only filled with hatred. Lucius slid her down his body and deposited her on the ground. The elder Malfoy dismounted and slapped his horse on the flank, causing her to gallop away.

At the sight of his father, Draco had gone even paler. Ignoring his instincts, Harry shoved his hand into Draco's and gave it a reassuring squeeze, though he still did not meet his eyes. He brought Draco's hand to his mouth, ghosting his lips over Draco's knuckles.

"They didn't kill them," Hermione said softly. It was cold comfort at best but it was something.

"Of course not, my dear, after all - we're not monsters," Lucius asserted.

"Is that a fact?" Draco drawled before both he and Harry Disapperated.

****

* * *

Snarky tossed another chocolate frog into his mouth with his tail._ "Harry's in for a big surprise whenever he gets back."_

Snippy snickered. _"We should make magic popcorn and sell tickets."_

"Hey, don't I get any candy?" The Book whined. It had taken him nearly half an hour to get the boards up and the candy out. He had been covered in spider webs and dust. Then they had spent an hour messing up Harry's room. They had short sheeted his bed, poured glue in his shoes, and made all of his text books invisible. He was tired and hungry now.

_"No,"_ The snakes answered in unison as if that were obvious.

"Hey! I helped steal that candy!" The Book protested.

_"What's your point?"_ Snippy asked.

"I'm a candy thief so I should get to eat some of the candy."

_"You're the Mascot of Evil!"_ Snarky smirked. _"Not a common candy thief."_

_"Really shouldn't have said that."_ Snippy advanced on the book. It started backing up under Harry's bed.

"What are you doing?" the Book cried, alarmed.

_"Well, it wouldn't do to take Harry's candy and not leave him something in exchange."_ Snarky smiled, joining his friend. _"Something like a . . .book."_

"What . . . hey!" The Book fell into the hole left by the missing boards. Quickly the snakes shoved the boards into place over top of him. "You can't do this to me!"

_"And why not?"_ Snippy asked licking chocolate off one fang.

"It's sneaky! It's underhanded!" The Book yelled. "And I didn't think of it," Sheldon sighed with envy. "You two really are evil!_"_

_"Sssanks."_

****

* * *

Lucius grinned at Severus, showing a row of sharp white teeth. "Aren't you going to congratulate me?"

"For what?" The Potions Master replied wryly. "Not falling off your horse or being able to follow a dog?"

"How did you like the hunt?" His question was addressed to Hermione. Her cheeks were obviously tear-stained. "Oh dear, I see you've dropped your handkerchief." He 'thoughtfully' picked it up and placed it into her numb hand. "I'm sorry if we upset you," His tone said otherwise.

"That's not what upset me," Hermione managed.

"No?"

"No. I'm just upset that we wasted our time here, when we might have been doing something more . . . absorbing." She leaned back against Severus. He wrapped his arms about her waist and she relaxed into the safety of his embrace.

"And boredom brought your tears?" He mocked.

"Lover's quarrel," Hermione corrected.

"Oh? Did you two have a row?" Lucius smiled. "What a pity."

"It was nothing of any consequence," Severus interjected. "As a matter of fact, we were about to leave."

"So soon?"

"Need time to make up properly." Hermione was mentally casting Flippendo on everyone at the party. She took Severus' hand, holding it close to her body. "Shall we?"

Snape nodded and spared Malfoy a glance. "Lovely party." And they vanished.

****

* * *

Draco and Harry stood awkwardly together in front of the staircases leading to the dorms. They were still holding hands but their thoughts were miles away from each other. Harry looked at Draco, the feel of their entwined fingers bringing him back to the present. Draco's face was completely blank. Harry squeezed his hand. "I had no idea a father could be so . . ."

"What would you know about fathers, Hero?" Draco scowled and dropped Harry's hand like it had burned him. "At least I have one."

"Do you have to be a git all the time, Draco?" Harry crossed his arms over his chest.

"Oh, its Draco now is it?"Draco sneered. "A little dance and a snog or two - is that all it takes to get to you? Sorry, Hero. Contrary to popular belief, I'm not that easy."

"Oh, really? Then what were you doing with me tonight?" Harry tossed back.

"Making the best of a bad situation. Or did you forget, I didn't invite you." Draco turned on his heel. "Now, if you will excuse me, Potter, I'm going to bed."

"Want some company?" Harry tried to hold the words back, but the mischievous bent in him would not be denied. He refused to consider that he might be trying to distract himself from thinking about the events that had transpired this evening.

Draco whirled around, his face a little shocked, and a little pleased. Then his mask of indifference returned. "No."

Harry slowly walked closer, remembering the night in the woods when Draco had managed to unsettle him. "Sure about that?"

"Certain." Draco took one step back, and ran into the rail of the staircase. "What are you doing?"

"I just wanted to thank you for taking me along tonight. It was . . . compelling." Harry stopped in front of him.

"I don't want your thanks. I didn't want you there." Draco smirked at him. "I don't want you here, either, Hero."

"Liar." Harry took hold of Draco's jacket lapels. "If you don't want me, walk away. I won't stop you."

"Dancing with Death Eaters give you some courage, Potter? Make you feel -"

"Shut up, Malfoy." Harry tugged him forward, kissed him hard, then released him, and walked towards Slytherin, a smirk on his face.

****

* * *

Hermione was shaking as they Apparated into Snape's apartment. There was no trace of Harry or Draco. She took a great shuddering breath. Severus attempted to embrace her but she fled from his touch. She wrapped her arms around herself before she spoke. "Earlier, you said . . . you said this was an improvement on what you used to do. You meant that you used to participate."

"Yes, Hermione, I did," Severus admitted. "I was a Death Eater in the fullest sense of the term. And I was one of the best," he confessed bitterly. "I won't defend my actions because I can't. What I did was reprehensible and I should probably be rotting away in Azkaban right now."

"I don't mean to sound harsh, but why aren't you?"

Severus laughed without humor. "That's a question for Albus. I came to him one night after a meeting. I was high on dark magic and power and I had blood on my hands. Literally." Severus sat down heavily, burdened by the weight of his past. "I confessed everything. From the night I was initiated to the activities I'd been involved in that very evening. Then, I sat and waited. Waited for him to turn me over to the Ministry of Magic or ship me off to Azkaban. Do you know what he did?" Hermione shook her head. "He offered me the Potions Master position."

"He believed in you. Professor Dumbledore knew that you could help defeat Voldemort. He knew that you had a desire to make amends."

"Perhaps." He didn't look convinced.

"From what I've read, black magic can siphon a person of their will. It makes horrible things seem reasonable, yet you were able to fight it."

"Yes, I was." Severus was done discussing this. He'd offered enough to explain his actions but he didn't want to hash through all of it after what she'd seen this night. "How are you?"

"I've been better but I'm fine." He looked skeptical. "Really. I've seen some terrible things these past few years." Severus tilted his head to the side slightly. "Honestly. I'll be alright."

"I'd like to take you to my Zen Garden all the same." Severus stood up and reached for her hand.

She placed it in his. "I'm sorry for the way I reacted."

"Don't be. You were angry and you have a right to be. I forget what its like to witness these things and be shocked by them. I should have prepared you for that. I forgot how . . . innocent you are." Severus swallowed hard, forgetting her innocence was a luxury he could not afford. "Now, come with me."

They walked down the hallway together. Snape hesitated for a moment, but with a glance at her shivering form, switched hands and put his arm around her shoulders.

****

* * *

"Dating Snape? She couldn't possibly . . . why? Why? WHY? Why would she do that?" Ron was clearly flabbergasted.

"Well, his breath has improved," Griff-Gruff said thoughtfully.

"It's Snape, how good could it be?"

The griffin shrugged.

"We have to go at this one Slytherin at a time. I'm going to deal with Malfoy first." Ron grimaced even as he said the name.

"What do you suggest?"

"We need some sort of bargaining chip. It has to be personal. Humiliating."

"Tell me, Ron. Read any good books lately?" Griff-Gruff smirked.

"That weren't about Quidditch?"

"Ah, but I have a very interesting one. An autobiography if you will, a personal saga."

"Is it illustrated?" Ron was still confused.

"Not quite . . . that might be a little inappropriate for . . . well, anyone." Griff-Gruff looked queasy. "But they're doodles."

"Doodles?" Ron was starting to catch on. "What's it about?"

"It's about a boy. And other boys. And some girls. And certain objects that . . . I really hope I never come across." Griff-Gruff shook his head. "But you can skip those parts . . . and those doodles . . . and head straight for a couple of entries about a former Gryffindor we all know and love."

"Hermione?"

"No, Ron," Griff-Gruff sighed, a paw at his forehead.

****

* * *

Hermione awkwardly stood in the center of Snape's Zen garden. She felt overdressed in all of her finery and sand had seeped into her shoes.

"Well, I don't feel very relaxed yet," she said dubiously.

Severus smiled. "For this to work, you need to make yourself more comfortable first." As he spoke, he stripped off his tuxedo jacket and laid it on a nearby stone.

"Oh, that makes sense." Hermione gingerly removed her shawl and sat it down atop an economy-sized polished rock and began to work on her gloves. It was a lengthy process because she had to tug on each of the fingers and then pull them down.

Severus began to undo his bow tie but he couldn't help but watch her. He tossed his tie on top of the coat and undid a couple of buttons on his shirt. It felt strangely intimate somehow, as if they were undressing for bed.

Hermione had carefully folded her gloves and set them down beside her. Then, she began to remove the pins from her hair. She placed them by the gloves, one by one. When, she was finished, she shook her hair out, it fell in soft waves around her face.

Hermione slipped off her high-heeled shoes. She flexed her toes in the sand and groaned in relief.

Severus chuckled as he leaned down to slip off his own shoes and socks.

"You don't know the agony of high heels."

"Thankfully."

She grinned impishly. "You mean you don't have something to confess?"

"I have many vices, Hermione, but ladies footwear is not one of them."

She blushed a little. "Can you turn around, please? I have to take something off."

"How comfortable are you intent on being?" Severus asked. The question was teasing but tinged with nervousness.

"Am I making you uncomfortable, professor?" Hermione drawled. She couldn't resist.

"Not at all," Severus lied. He obligingly turned around, only to be taunted by the whisper of fabric as it slid against her skin. He closed his eyes and took a shuddering breath.

"You can look now."

She stood demurely by the rock. He took in her small collection of clothing and told himself that he wasn't disappointed that she had only removed her stockings. "Feel better?"

"Much." Hermione wiggled her toes in the sand, enjoying the feel of it beneath her.

"Splendid." He picked up two of the wicker rakes and handed one to her. He demonstrated his technique with the other. "Now, trace a pattern in the sand. I usually do a series of semi-circles." Severus drew arches in the sand as he spoke. "As you pull the rake through the sand, imagine all of your tension leaving you." His voice was soothing, almost hypnotic as he spoke. "It's flowing through your arm and into the rake. From the rake, it travels to the sand and away from you." He folded his hands over the top of the rake and watched her. "Now, you try."

Hermione began to trace semi-circles and visualized the tension leaving her. It was working but she felt disconnected. She needed something more elemental. Real. She dropped the rake and slid to her knees, the skirt of her dress billowing around her like a silver cloud. She grasped two handfuls of sand let it trickle from her fingers. It was soft and warm. She felt as if it were purifying her somehow. She rubbed it between her hands and down her arms. Hermione let the whole evening ebb away until she was completely cleansed by the sand. She finally stopped, blowing away the remnants that clung to her fingers.

"Feel better?"Severus asked softly, transfixed by her earthy, raw motions.

"Much." She gave the same answer from before, only now it was true. "Thank you, Severus."

"You're welcome. Make use of this room any time you need to."

"I will." Hermione thought he looked rather dashing. He was free of his normal sarcasm and his clothing was mussed.

He noted her scrutiny. "What?"

Hermione walked over to him, with a wicked gleam in her eye. "The last time I was here you asked me for a goodnight kiss."

Severus swallowed hard. "I was joking."

"I'm not." She stepped closer and placed her hand on the side of his face..

"We're treading on dangerous ground, Hermione." He sucked in a breath as she stroked his cheek, reveling in the raspy feel.

"That's what we do best, Severus." She placed her mouth to his.

What was a tender exploration before, became a wild contest of wills. Severus wasn't sure if he was fighting her or himself. It would be so easy for him to give into temptation. That had always been his downfall. Hermione wanted to prove something to him. She knew there was something between them and right now she needed him like she'd never needed anyone else. She wanted to be taken away from herself.

Severus broke the kiss and gasped in air. She started to back away from him, but he dragged her closer, resting his forehead against hers. "It would be wrong, Hermione."

"I know," she admitted. "But it feels right, doesn't it?"

"Yes," Severus said. "But we can't do this."

Hermione's eyes widened.

"Not tonight. Not-" he broke off. He was about to say 'ever' but she looked so wounded and she'd already been through so much already this evening. "We're both tired right now. It's been an emotional evening. We just - we can't do this tonight."

She nodded. "I suppose you're right. The sun will be up soon."

"Right. Breakfast. Classes. Students." His eyes settled on her as though reminding himself.

Hermione knew what he was doing. She was hurt that he would still place her in that category. One minute she was his student and the next he was kissing her. Hypocrite. "Goodnight, professor."

She whirled around and grabbed up her discarded clothing, trying not to let tears fall.

"Hermione, I-"

"Save it." She rushed out of the room, dropping one silk glove in the process. As she left the sand, the door appeared and she slammed it behind her.

****

* * *

Harry hadn't even bothered to light a lamp or crawl into his bed. He gratefully collapsed on it and flung his shoes off his feet. He then realized he was still in his tux. "Accio, wand!"

He transfigured his clothes back, tossed his glasses on the night stand and shut his eyes, praying that sleep would overtake him soon. In hindsight, it was very bad idea to go to that party. He was flirting with his dark side in more ways than one and there was no better symbol for it than carrying on with Draco Malfoy the way he had. Why were all the interesting ones evil? Other than Wood, of course. Harry rolled over on his side and shoved the pillow more firmly under his head.

"Oooooo! OOOOO!!" The voice was low and wavering.

"What the hell . . .?" Harry sat straight up in bed.

"I'm the ghost of books past due!"

"Peeves, I swear to Merlin if you don't go away, I'm going to find a spell to make you solid and kick your ghosty bum."

"I am not Peeves, I am the ghost of books past due . . ."

Harry got up, and padded around the room. The voice was emanating from somewhere inside. He looked around. "I can't even remember the last time I went to the library. Maybe you're lost. Hermione's room is down the hall."

The voice became louder. "Do not dare to question me! Now . . . do you have any candy?"

"Snippy? Snarky?" Harry frowned. No, it wasn't parseltongue, yet if he listened closely, he could hear a nearby 'thee, thee, thee . . . .'

"Come closer . . . closer . . ."

"I don't think I want to." Harry leaned down, the voice seemed to be coming from the floor.

"You are getting closer . . . are you afraid yet?" The voice dropped an octave. "Ooooo . . ."

"Sheldon?" Harry was horrified. Sheldon was trapped in his room. And he had thought Death Eaters were sadistic. Who would do this to him?

"Harry, I know you're terrified, but I want you to try to get past that and think very carefully. Do you have a crowbar?" Sheldon asked hopefully.


	15. Syrup is for Flapjacks!

**TITLE:** Trading Spaces 15

**RATING:** R (slash warning m/m)

**PAIRING:** HG/SS, HP/DM, HP/HG (friendship), RW/HG/HP (friendship)

**Chapter Fifteen: Syrup is for Flapjacks!**

****

* * *

"Well, I'm glad you weren't scared away from Hogwarts," Wood said to Dr. Troy as they walked side by side to the Great Hall for breakfast.

"Takes more than the decorator from hell to spook me." He paused. "Unless he put up shag carpet, cuz then, I'd be outta here. Big salary or no."

"That's not the kind of shag we have around here," Wood said coyly as he moved ahead of him when they rounded a corner.

"I must say," Troy gave him a once over, " Quidditch does a body good. At least your body." Troy winked at the younger man who held his gaze. They both broke eye contact to search the ceiling as they entered the Great Hall. A strong counterspell had removed the Dark Mark. Troy let out a low whistle. "That Gandalf guy's better than 409."

"Four oh what?" Oliver looked confused. "Who?"

"Don't worry about it, Wood." Troy sighed. "I am doomed to be forever misunderstood around here." Troy surveyed the high table and was delighted to see Severus at the end, next to two empty chairs. He pulled the reluctant Quidditch coach behind him.

"Having a good morning, Sevvie?" He called cheerfully as they sat down.

"I doubt he's ever had a 'good' morning," Wood muttered.

"Abysmal." Snape stared pointedly at Troy.

"Told you so," Wood added under his breath.

"What's the matter, Sevvie? The doctor is in. Let's take a look." Troy smiled. He leaned back to take in the whole Snape picture, holding his fingers up to make a frame. Snape scowl was deeper than usual, it made his brows furrow and his mouth turn down slightly at the edges. He was clearly in a fouler mood than usual. Even his clothing was, well . . . blacker. Troy picked up a piece of bacon, chewing thoughtfully as he pondered the other man. "What's the statement you're making here? Goth? French? Maybe you should just chuck this professor thing, paint your fingernails black, and start listening to The Cure!"

"I'd answer you, but I was temporarily distracted by the partially masticated animal flesh waving at me from your perpetually open gob," Snape sneered.

Undaunted, Troy's grin widened as he bit into another piece of bacon. "Ah, girl trouble?"

"You've got to be kidding me," Wood grumbled as he set his porridge aside. The idea that Snape was interested in anyone made him sick.

Snape glowered at him and took another drink of black coffee. He straightened up as Hermione and Potter walked into the Hall, headed for the Slytherin Table.

"Yes, I'm serious. He was under the floor!" Harry said, eyes wide.

"That's the stuff nightmares are made of. And I thought that little party was terrifying!" Hermione joked. It made her feel better when she could laugh things off with Harry.

"You've no idea." They sat down, reaching for their plates with one hand, and the other automatically held up to hold off snakes. "Sheldon tried to convince me he was a ghost and then I spent half the night using a crowbar on the floor. And I didn't even get to the part about the snakes and my bed." He stopped to see the two little troublemakers in question sliding over to him.

_"Ssssleep well, Harry?"_ Snippy hissed. _"Thee, thee, thee . . ."_

"I knew it was you two!" Harry glared at them. "And get the hell away from my eggs!"

_"We have bigger breakfast plans. It's pancake day!"_ Snarky proclaimed as he grabbed a fork with his tail.

_"I'm going to get even one of these days," _Harry promised, a dark look in his eyes.

Snarky rolled his beady little eyes. _"Yeah . . . yeah . . . promisesss, promisesss." _

"Harry?" Hermione said. "Why don't we invite Ron to sit with us? It just doesn't feel right, not sitting with him on the first day of classes."

"Yeah, I've missed him." Harry smiled at her, and they took turns watching for him to walk in and guarding their breakfast from snakes.

When, he did come in, Ron had circles under his eyes and his hair was sticking up all over his head. Apparently, he hadn't slept very much the night before. Ron walked right past them in his rush to sit down.

"Ron?" Hermione said, hoping to attract his attention.

She stood up and lost a flapjack for her trouble. Snarky tossed it high in the air and Snippy jumped up to catch it between his fangs. They high-fived tails.

"Ron, come here! Why don't you sit with us? At the Slytherin table?" Hermione called.

The room hushed.

Dumbledore leaned forward curiously to watch what would happen.

Ron's looked back at them and then at the safety and security of Gryffindor table. "I don't know if that's a good idea, guys."

Suddenly there was a flurry of female voice and a commotion from the entranceway, which could only mean one thing - the arrival of the (former) Prince of Slytherin.

Draco Malfoy strutted in the Hall with his robes undone and his uniform underneath. He looked like a man who'd spent the morning in bed . . . and not alone. His hair was slightly tousled. Draco's tie was undone and his shirt was partially open, showing a fair amount of his chest. His pants were tailored to hug rather than hide his body. In short, he looked damn good and he knew it. Draco winked at two first year Slytherins that were staring at him as if he were the best thing since a Firebolt. The girl blushed and the boy fell off his chair. He brushed past Ron Weasley who was goggling at him and sat down at the end of Gryffindor table like he was the reigning sex god . . . which he was.

"I'll be right over," Ron agreed. He gingerly sat down next to Harry at the table. He was amazed when he wasn't struck by lightning or brought down by some other natural disaster. Everyone stared at him briefly but went back to their breakfasts when nothing happened.

Dumbledore raised his glass to Harry and Hermione surreptitiously and sat back with a pleased smile.

Snippy took a piece of sausage from Ron's plate. _"Look, it's a Weasssley!" _

Ron stared down in horror at the pork thief.

"Don't worry, Ron. They're friendly. They seem happy to see you."

"My brothers told me they nipped quite a few things off them." Ron tried to take his sausage back but Snippy snapped him with his tail.

_"How rude!"_ Snarky censured. _"We take . . . you give. Deal with it."_

_"You do realize that he can't hear you, right?"_ Harry asked them.

Snippy and Snarky glanced at at each other sadly.

_"We know. Our humor is ssooo underappreciated,"_ Snippy lamented

_"Godric damn it,"_ Snarky agreed dejectedly. He stole a piece of Harry's bacon for good measure. They retreated to the center of the table to munch away on their pile of food.

"I had a very interesting night. Let's see? Heard some rumors. Read a naughty book." Ron started off.

"You read a book?!" Harry and Hermione gasped.

Ron rolled his eyes."Yes, can you guess what the plot was? Huh? Can you Harry?"

Harry shook his head. "In case you forgot, Ron, I'm not that great in divination. So, tell us what you read, already."

"Or maybe you want to hear the latest gossip, Hermione? It's about a man. In black."

At that moment, a mischievous sparkle in his eyes, Draco Malfoy approached Hermione's side of their table. He balanced his hands on the edge of the table on either side of her body and kissed the top of her head. "Good morning, my little book worm." He sat down next to her, nudging a 6th year out of the way. "I thought it would be romantic if we ate together." He held Harry's eyes as he said, his voice oozing sexual insinuation, "You know . . . the morning after."

She wrinkled her nose. "The morning after wha. . .? Holy cricket!" She downed her orange juice, like it was a shot. "Y-yes, that would be nice."

Ron and Harry both pushed their plates away, having lost their appetites.

_"Lookssss like the sex god struck again!"_ Snippy crowed around a mouthful of pancake.

_"Like it was a hard choice for her."_ Snarky held his tail to the left. _"Greasy, bat-like fellow . . ."_ He tilted to the other side. _"Slytherin Sex God. Poor Hiney. Tough decision."_

Eyes glinting with secret amusement, Draco put his arm around her. "Was it good for you?"

Harry smirked at Malfoy, who was still holding his gaze. "Very."

Ron stood up. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!"

The room hushed again.

Severus decided to handle it, since it had occurred at his table. He stood up, resembling an angry storm cloud in his billowing black robes. "Mr. Weasley, I realize that you were probably not brought up with the finer things. For example, manners, a sense of decorum, a comb-" He was distracted from his tirade by Malfoy whispering something in Hermione's ear. The young man's hand was perilously close to her thigh. Hermione covered his hand with her own and _giggled. _Snape's expression darkened considerably.

"Uh oh! Peach pie is in over her pigtails." Troy turned to Oliver Wood, grasping his case knife and stabbing it in the air. "Ree Ree Ree Ree! I can just hear the Psycho theme music."

Oliver stared at him. "You're a very strange man."

The knife clattered to his plate. "Forget it."

"Some of us like that, though." Wood smiled fondly and toasted him with his tea cup.

Troy captured Wood's other hand under the table.

"Sir?" Ron asked loudly.

"Sit down! Twenty points from Gryffindor for your lack of judgment!" Snape settled on the edge of his chair, both hands gripping his cup, white-knuckled, eyes fixed on Malfoy trailing one annoyingle aristocratic finger over Hermione's shoulder. He swallowed the rest of the coffee, but Dumbledore refilled it with a knowing glance.

Troy raised an eyebrow at him. "Good to the last drop, eh?"

"I loathe this bitter American brew. It's black and tasteless, down to the last drop." Snape glared, attempting to turn his attention back to the Slytherin Table. He began to mentally list combat spells to teach Hermione. He knew quite a few unethical ones that could detach a man's . . .

"Then why are you drinking it?" Troy asked.

Snape forced himself to speak to the perky professor. "I enjoy tea in the morning. Today, I do not wish to enjoy myself. I wish to be bitter . . . and miserable."

"Well, at least your ensemble matches," Tatterton offered. "It's black and tasteless too." He waved his hand vaguely. "It sort of says 'tarantula' to me."

Snape ignored him, his focus back on Hermione and Draco.

Draco absently curled his finger in Hermione's hair. She attempted to dissuade him with a request. "Darling, would you pass me the honey?"

Draco leaned closer, a lascivious smile arcing across his face. "Sure, I'll give you some honey."

Ron watched in horror, starting to mutter to himself. "I wasn't gone that long . . . what could have happened . . . maybe I'm dreaming . . . or nightmaring."

Hermione could tell that Draco was just trying to be an ass, but she had seen Severus' reaction. A truly evil smile graced her pretty face. Severus was obviously put out by her behavior. She knew she shouldn't do this but it was so tempting. She owed him for last night and his pulling the 'student' excuse to not deal with his feelings. He wanted to pretend there was nothing between them, fine - let's see him pretend through this, she thought.

Turning to face Draco, she took his hand out of her hair, clasping it gently. "You look so handsome this morning, Drakkey."

"What-ty?" Harry turned away before milk came out of his nose.

Ron was nearly hyperventilating.

Draco stared back at Hermione. What was wrong with her? She glanced at Severus, then back at him. He raised a brow in a silent challenge. She met his gaze, her expression saying, 'bring it on'. Draco lowered his voice, achieving the sound that made many men and women melt. "Better than last night?"

"Almost, but so much of you is covered up this morning." Hermione shot back, resting her hand on his leg to draw hearts with her finger on his knee. Snape choked on his coffee. Troy obliginingly pounded him on the back.

Draco upped the ante. "So, wanna come over to study tonight?" Draco winked at her. "You know, anatomy?"

"I would but . . . I don't like your room. Too many mirrors." She smiled as he gasped in outrage. "Why don't you come over?" She wondered how he would get out of this.

"I thought you liked the mirrors." He smirked, recovering. "You said it lets you see more of me naked when we're . . . studying."

"Okay, so I've found something more disgusting than barfing up slugs," Ron commented to himself.

"Wait a minute, we're supposed to fly together tonight . . . Drakkey." Harry interjected, smirking as he looked at Malfoy. "You don't want to ride with me?"

"Hold on a tic! What's going . . . who's doing what with the who . . ." Ron closed his eyes, trailing off.

"Just rounds," Harry clarified. "I'm obligated."

Ron sighed in relief, smiling. Obviously, all that crazy stuff he'd read in Malfoy's journal had just been the sick imaginings of a Slytherin gone mad. Too bad that didn't excuse Hermione's actions.

Hermione caught Ron's eye, mouthing, "Oh, no, it's not." Ron frowned. She turned to her 'boyfriend'. "Drakkey, I'm so sorry. I forgot about that potions assignment I have to finish. You know how much I like _potions_."

Ron's expression turned thunderous.

"That's alright, kitten." Draco put his hand on her knee. "I know you'll do something to make it up to me later. Repeatedly."

"My ears, my ears!" Ron shrieked. Hermione discreetly stepped on Draco's foot, but Ron missed it as the implications of her earlier statement sank in. "Potions? Potions! If there is anything on this planet worse than dating a Malfoy - " He glowered at Hermione. "It's cheating on one with Sn - " Harry, Hermione and Draco all clapped their hands over his mouth. "Mmphh." Apparently, Ron had not yet grasped the subtle art of espionage.

Ron glared at Malfoy as they slowly let go. "You're already molesting my friends, you're not going to add me to the list. Hands off."

"Calm yourself, Weasley." Draco smiled. "I don't do redheads." His lips twitched. "Literally."

"That makes one for the list of things Malfoy won't sleep with." Ron glared at him.

Draco clasped Hermione's hand, bringing it to his mouth for a kiss. "Don't worry about him, baby. I only want you."

"Even though she's cheating on you?" Ron blurted out.

"Ron!" Hermione cried, exasperated.

"For the record, it's not cheating if I know about it." Draco smiled. "Nothing wrong with a little extracurricular activity, is there, honey bunch?"

"Maybe you should be asking Harry that question," she tossed back, slyly.

"Malfoy's been expanding my horizons alright," Harry answered. He was really enjoying needling the other boy, after their cold exchange last night. Harry's mind returned to the night they had cast magic together. He was doing that more and more lately. It was like the idea of doing magic with Draco was an addiction. "He's taken me to new places."

"Harry?" Ron tapped his arm. "But you said that you two weren't-"

"Rounds, Ron," Harry said again.

"Yes, and Harry finds it all very easy," Draco said venomously. "Too easy you might say, he's got a real knack for finding those places. Wanting to be in them."

"Still bitter about that little broom problem of yours? Not able to get it up, right? That's why you had to go back to your rooms so quickly last night?" Harry retorted. He didn't even look at Ron who went white. "Still talking about rounds."

Draco's eyes flashed. "Just worried we might be getting into a sucking session again, Hero. Remind me, you spit, right, not swallow?"

At this point, the Slytherin table turned their heads to watch. Snippy and Snarky actually paused mid-chew.

"I knew it! I knew you two were doing the thing-" He pointed to them. "You two do. I've read the book!"

Hermione nervously looked over at the other students. "Snake venom. It had to be sucked out. Then, you know, spit out." Hermione gulped. "As one does with snake venom."

Clearly disappointed, the Slytherins went back to their breakfasts.

Snippy and Snarky exchanged looks. Yeah, they'd heard that version too. Whatever!

Harry hadn't broken eye contact with Draco. "You're saying you don't want to hold hands anymore?" Draco knew he was talking about the joined spell. "I know you want it."

Hello! The Slytherins turned their attention back to the pair.

Snippy and Snarky smacked tails. They knew there was something going on.

Draco brought Hermione's hand to his mouth again. She tried not to flinch. "Only with my girlfriend."

The Gryffindors didn't even glance up from their plates. This was old news.

Pansy Parkinson threw down her fork and stood up. "Some of us are trying to eat. And, if the book worm is dating Draco, I'm a Gryffindor."

"Uh, actually, Pansy?" Harry spoke up. "You are." She glared at him. "What? I'm just saying . . ."

Hermione stood up incensed. "What are you saying? That I'm not pretty enough for him?" She couldn't take it anymore. First, Severus had brushed her off and then Parkinson told her she wasn't pretty enough for Malfoy to shag? He'd shag anyone!

"Should I speak slower?"

Draco's eyes sparkled. "Cat fight! Defend my honor, kitten!"

"Your what?" Harry rolled his eyes. "You can't defend something that doesn't exist."

The snakes slithered closer. Snippy bit into a strawberry. _"Oooh, breakfast and a show."_

_"We didn't even have to pay!"_ Snarky enthused. _"Punch her lights out, Hiney!"_

Draco was distracted by the snakes. Who knew they were so snippy and snarky?

"You want to take this outside?" Hermione had been itching to use her dueling charms on someone other than Malfoy and Severus.

"No, I want you to prove it."

"Well, I've never fancied shagging in front of a crowd but. . ." Draco said outrageously. He started moving plates out of the way. "Is here good for you, honey? Or do you want to try the floor?"

Severus had seen the disturbance and was barreling down the aisle, tipping over the chairs of oblivious students in his rush to break it up. Snippy and Snarky started backing down the table. _"Woah! We didn't want that much of a show."_

Draco couldn't help but laugh and Harry cast him a questioning glance.

Ron put his head in his hands. "This isn't happening. This can't be happening. It's not happening . . ."

Hermione unbuttoned the top of her robe, her uniform was still underneath. She hopped up on the table. "Top or bottom, Drakkey?" She gestured to the left. "And hand me the syrup."

_"No, not the syrup!"_ Snippy cried.

_"We need it!"_ Snarky hooked the small pitcher with his tail. _"Syrup is for flapjacks, you perverts!" _

Malfoy had to agree with the snakes. "But it's so sticky." He was relieved to see them haul it down the table and protectively place it behind a couple of third years.

"Please don't have sex on the breakfast table! Please?" Ron begged.

"No one is having sex on any table! Especially not Slytherins'." Severus growled as he came upon the scene.

Ron sighed. "Thank you, sir," he said in relief. "I think I love you."

Severus glanced down at him. "That includes you, Weasley."

"Like a Gryffindor would do that," Harry said as he sipped his tea. His eyes twinkled.

"Well, I guess we'll have to use the floor, then." Draco gave it the once over, noting the sharp stones. "You can be on the bottom."

Severus' eyes just about popped out of his head. "No one is having any sort of sexual relations anywhere in this room! Of all the--"

"Then, I'll have to settle for an appetizer." Hermione practically climbed on Draco's lap and slid her hands into Draco's hair, grateful that he'd cut back his daily allowance of gel and tipped his head back. Then, she planted a kiss on his lips which were currently in a startled 'O'.

Draco made a noise of protest, trying to move back, he idly pushed at her shoulders but she was determined. He finally gave in, remembering that he was supposed to be helping perpetuate this rumor.

Ron let out a strangled cry. "Not again!" He pressed his hand to his chest. "My breakfast is coming back up."

Severus seized Draco by the collar and hauled him out of his chair by the scruff of his neck, knocking Hermione unceremoniously aside. "Mr. Malfoy!"

At seeing the murderous expression of the Potions Master, he quickly sputtered out an explanation. "I was being kissed! Not kissing, sir."

"That's right," Harry commented. "He was the kissee."

Pansy crossed her arms over her chest and walked off in a huff.

"Miss Granger, Mr. Malfoy," Severus was trembling with rage. "This is INAPPROPRIATE, UNACCEPTABLE-"

"Unnatural?" Harry offered.

"Unattractive?" Ron threw out.

_"Unnecessary?" _Snippy added.

_"Unappetizing?"_ Snarky tightened his death grip on the syrup.

"You will both lose 50 House points . . . from Slytherin!" The Slytherins groaned. "And have detention with me. Effective this evening."

"Don't worry, Malfoy," Harry goaded. "You might still get your chance. I'l be seeing you later on tonight."

" Yes, you will because you can join them, Potter, just for your cheek." He was about to stalk off in a swirl of jet robes and fury, when he turned back to spit out. "There will be no sexual relations in detention. On any tables, chairs, or floors." He stomped away and called over his shoulder. "Or desks!"

* * *

"So I heard everyone's required to take Muggle Studies this year." Ron gave them both a stern look. "Don't you dare tell my dad that a real live Muggle is teaching it or he'll be inviting him to dinner and coming in for teacher conferences."

Ron, Hermione, and Harry were walking down the hall towards Tatterton's classroom. They had all recovered from the morning's events. Although, Harry and Hermione were dreading detention and Ron was still casting suspicious looks at the both of them.

"Wouldn't dream of it," Harry promised. "You can always tell him to drop by my aunt and uncle's place if he ever gets the urge for Muggle culture." Harry was in the middle of the trio, his arms draped around his friends' shoulders

Ron rolled his eyes. "Don't give him ideas. Guys?" They both looked at him. "I heard Malfoy's in our class, Are you two going to be okay?" He wasn't exactly sure what was going on, but he knew that his two friends had become mixed up with the Slytherin in a serious way. He intended to find out some answers. Tonight.

"I'm not the one who has a Malfoy problem," Hermione said with feigned lightness.

"No, you were the one playing Quidditch with his tonsils at breakfast," Ron reminded her.

Harry shook his head and made a face.

"Anyway, I can't wait to see Malfoy's reaction. Everyone knows how he feels about Muggles," Ron said.

"I, for one, like Dr. Tatterton. I think this is going to be fun," Hermione stated.

"Great. Hermione's shagging this teacher too," Ron muttered.

Hermione heard him. "Let it go, Ron! I told you that there's more going on than I can tell you right now. I haven't shagged him or any other teachers, for that matter, Ronald Weasley. And Dr. Troy is more Harry's type than mine."

Ron turned suspicious eyes on Harry, who smirked and shrugged back at him.

Outside the door to the classroom stood Draco Malfoy. The three stopped in front of him. Draco noted the affection Harry was showing his friends with a supercilious smirk. "So, Potter, manage to keep your mouth to yourself on the way here?"

Harry grinned, then leaned over and kissed Ron on the top of the head with a loud smacking sound. "Damn. I almost made it." He quirked an eyebrow at the blond boy, waiting for him to say something about it.

"No, Potter, I don't want you to kiss me too." Draco grinned at the sheepish expression on Harry's face.

"Could have fooled me," Harry commented dryly, much to Ron's horror.

Ron opened his mouth to speak but was cut off when Hermione stepped in front of Draco. "Sugar-bear!" She tossed a large black book bag at him. It landed on his toe with a thud and a sickening crunch. "Will you carry my books for me?"

"Bloody hell!" Draco muttered as he delicately pulled his foot out from under it. He took his foot in his hand and leveled a glare at Granger that promised retribution.

"Thanks . . . schnookums." She smirked as Harry and Ron escorted her into the classroom.

Draco sighed, heaving the bag onto one shoulder and proceeded to follow them. He had a slight limp as he walked. Draco reached the table at which they were sitting, he dropped the book on top of it, where Ron's hand happened to be resting. "Oops."

"Why you little - " Ron started, but was stopped by Harry as Dr. Tatterton arrived. He wore a pair of jeans and a "Guess" sweatshirt. Ron looked at Harry, confused. "'Guess' what?"

"What?"

Ron tried again. "'Guess' what?"

Harry frowned. "What?"

"Honestly!" Hermione threw up her hands. "It's an American Muggle logo."

Dr. Tatterton surveyed the youthful faces of his first class at Hogwarts. "Good morning, class. I'm Dr. Troy and I am the new Muggle Studies professor this year. Some of your faces are familiar." He nodded to Harry and Hermione seated at the first table. "Some of you are new." He smiled at the rest of the class. "And I'm pleased to meet you all."

He began to walk the length of the room. "I suppose I could lecture you on Muggle history or politics but I thought it might be more interesting to introduce you to the culture first. So, put away your quills and parchment. Quickly now." The students dutifully packed up their possessions. "Excellent."

The students stared at him, their interest peaked.

"Wood, if you could, please . . ." Troy gestured to the doorway and the young man shut off the lights. "Let me present the center of Muggle youth culture." He looked around the room, smiling as the t.v. came on. "M . . . T . . . V."

(just imagine the 2001 space Odyssey theme here)

The snakes crawled out from inside Hermione's bag. Their eyes widened in disbelief and wonder at the sight before them.

* * *

Severus sat at his desk, three candles offered the only illumination in his classroom. He was sipping a cup of black coffee and frowning as he graded the first assignments of the term. Obviously, his new group of first years were dunderheads. That didn't surprise him in the least, most of his students were.

What did surprise him was the outrageous behavior of Hermione Granger. Obviously, she was upset by what he'd said last night but he never thought she'd try to molest Draco in front of everyone. He took another sip of coffee . . . or maybe she really was interested in young Malfoy. Draco was a handsome boy, even he had to admit that. Those looks probably came from his father . . . the bastard.

Lucius Malfoy . . . the bastard . . . had always been handsome and charming. Most of the young women in Slytherin had dated him or wanted to. Not that Malfoy had cared much about their feelings. Severus had heard quite a few rumors about him and first years, even when they had gone off to college. Malfoy had bought his way into university, his grades had been atrocious. Not from lack of intellect, just lack of focus. Severus, of course, passed his classes with flying colors. And he'd been a great deal more discriminating when it came to women.

It was odd that the two men had ended up joining the Death Eaters. Severus had been always been fascinated by dark magic. One day, he'd caught Malfoy doing a blood ritual in the common room . . . no one ever said Lucius was discrete. Severus was intrigued by the sheer power involved as well as the skill required to harness the magic. Lucius had slyly offered to let him assist and he'd accepted. From then on, Severus was consumed by elevating his own power. He'd been entangled with the Death Eaters ever since.

Thankfully, Draco wasn't as depraved or decadent as his father. The young man was intelligent and resourceful. True, he was interested in gaining power and prestige but what young Slytherin man wasn't? Draco made excellent grades and was always attentive in class, at least Potions, which was all Severus cared about. As Head of Slytherin, he'd heard rumblings about Malfoy's . . .extra curricular activities but he hadn't heard of anything illegal which was quite an improvement on his father's behavior.

"Severus?" Draco asked, walking into the room.

"Have a seat." Severus nodded to the first row in front of his desk. "I'm glad that you're a bit early, we have something to discuss."

Draco held up his hands. "About this morning? Sir, I never had sexual relations with that woman."

Severus stared at him.

"I would never do that on a breakfast table!"

"That's not what I heard," Severus insinuated. He crossed his arms across his chest to watch the young Malfoy squirm.

"No, it was a study table in the . . . the point is, Severus, I would never do that with an audience."

Snape raised a brow.

Draco cleared his throat. "Again."

"I see. In the future, I expect you to keep up the appearance of dating Miss Granger without resorting to prurient measures."

"I'm sorry, Severus," Draco apologized, but there was a gleam in his eye. "I didn't know that she was so . . . 'special' to you."

"I don't think I catch your meaning." Snape scowled.

"I rather think you do, Professor."

Severus turned away quickly. "You have some Potions homework to complete, if I'm not mistaken. Begin!"

Draco pulled out his supplies, stifling a discerning smile. So, that's how it was, eh?

Harry and Hermione came in together. They both had their books, ready to participate in detention. They decided to take the two seats at the desk on the right when Severus looked up. "Mr. Potter, sit next to Mr. Malfoy."

"But-"

"Now, Potter. Miss Granger may sit by herself."

"That's right, Harry," Hermione sniffed. "He's afraid I might convince you to have sex on his table."

"No one is having sex in this room!" Severus thundered.

"Least of all you," Hermione said under her breath.

Harry took a seat next to Malfoy, eyes wide as he waited for the explosion. Malfoy seemed to be surpressing laughter.

"Do you want another detention?!" Snape stood up, he hadn't heard what she said but it couldn't have been complimentary.

Hermione opened her book bag. "Might as well. My perfect record has already been ruined."

"Silence!" Severus downed the rest of his coffee and resumed grading tests. The papers were smeared with red ink by the time he'd finished with them.

Hermione wished she had something to throw at him. She rooted around in her book bag and came up with a couple of snakes. "Ugh, hitchhike a ride with Harry next time." She tossed them to the side.

They sighed in relief as they saw daylight again. Snippy was slightly crushed from the books. He wiggled his tail until it puffed out again. _"That's the last time we hide in there, no food and lots of heavy books."_

Snarky collapsed on the table. _"Hey, where are we?"_

Snippy took in the scene. _"Uh oh . . . detention."_ He looked over and saw Harry._ "Sss' up, Harry?" _

_"How you doin', baby?"_ Snarky looked over his shoulder. _"He's kickin' it with the sssex god. Hey, Harry, we got the munchies. Do you have a snack?"_

Harry rolled his eyes at their newly acquired slang.

Draco reached into his robes and pulled out a couple of chocolate frogs, tossing them onto the table.

_"Ask and ye shall receive!"_ Snippy grinned.

The snakes were ecstatic. They leapt unto the table and seized the treats. _"That was a lucky break. We didn't even have to search him."_

Snarky had chocolate around his mouth. _"Hey, Harry, tell your boyfriend we said 'thanks'."_

_"You guys never say thanks to me,"_ Harry muttered, a little hurt.

"You're welcome," Draco replied, looking the little snake in the eye. "And I'm not his boyfriend."

They both dropped their half-eaten frogs. Snippy demanded, _"Can you hear me?" _

"Yes," Draco replied softly. He looked up and saw Snape furiously grading papers and sneaking looks at Hermione. Good, he was occupied.

_"Lucky guess,"_ Snarky scoffed. He turned around and faced the front of the classroom. _"Can you hear me now?"_

"Yes," Draco said.

Harry was stunned. "So, you are a parselmouth!"

"A recent one." He smirked. "Three guesses how that happened, Potter."

The snakes weren't convinced. _"You read lips, don't you? Merlin knows, you've had the practice."_ Snarky put a tail to his mouth. _"Can you hear me now?"_

"Yes!"

Snippy crawled up his arm to hiss in his ear. _"Can you hear me now?"_

"Stop that!" He pulled the snake away and deposited it on the table. "My hearing is just fine."

"Don't get them started," Harry warned.

Hermione whispered over, "What's going on?"

"I see that one desk away is not far enough." Snape scowled. "Very well." He stood, folding his arms across his chest. "Mr. Malfoy, Mr. Potter. I have a special assignment for you. You will go to the third corridor on the right hand side - "

"But sir, that's forbidden!" Harry protested.

"Why, yes it is, Mr. Potter. But I seem to recall you being rather familiar with the area." Snape smiled wickedly. "You do recall a certain room with a trapdoor?"

"Yes. It used to be under the butt of a three-headed dog," Harry said flatly.

Severus' lips twitched. "The dog is gone. We use the room for storage now. I want you and Mr. Malfoy here to organize the contents of that room, and clean it top to bottom."

Harry and Draco stood, turning to leave.

"Stop!" The potions master pointed at the desk. "Take those two with you. I won't have them hissing in my ear while I'm grading papers."

_"Like we would get that close!"_ Snippy smirked. _"Better breath or not - we're keeping our distance."_

_"Though his hair does seem cleaner today."_ Snarky turned to Snape. _"Did Hogsmeade run out of motor oil? Poor Snape."_

Draco nearly choked, covering his mouth to make it look like a cough. Harry reached down to offer an arm to Snippy, and Draco followed suit. Snarky slithered up Draco's arm, draping himself around his neck. Snippy looked over at him and nodded his head at Malfoy. Snarky leaned close to Draco's ear. _"Can you hear me, now?"'_

"YES!!"

* * *

Hermione sat with her back ramrod straight, working on her homework. Occasionally, she would sneak a glance at Snape but he seemed to be absorbed in making as many marks on each paper as he could. She started to turn back to her homework, and changed her mind. She wasn't just his student. And that's not who she was when she was alone with Severus Snape. Not anymore.

Taking a cue from Malfoy, she leaned back in her chair. Carelessly ,she tossed her quill onto her desk, forcing herself not to flinch as her papers drifted askew. Hermione tilted her head to the side, and regarded Snape from under a raised brow.

"Miss Granger?" Snape looked up, feeling her gaze. "May I help you?"

"Yes, Severus." She crossed her arms over her chest. "You can explain to me why I'm sitting in detention for doing something I was supposed to do."

"I beg your pardon! No, in fact, you should be begging mine! You are not supposed to engage in sexual liaisons in the Great Hall!" He stood up, still angry. "I am fairly certain that is no where in the Death Eater Manual, despite the nauseating traditions of the Malfoy family!"

"No, I'm supposed to convince the whole of Hogwarts that I'm dating the prince of Slytherin!" She yelled back, standing and moving to the front of her desk.

"Well, I think they were convinced!" He gestured with his hand. "Considering he was about to sleep with you on the breakfast table! If he got any closer to you I would have . . ."

"Would have what?" She asked him softly, her heart pounding. Was he jealous?

"Been very displeased." His scowl deepened.

"Why? Because you never learned to play well with others?" She suggested.

He stepped down from his desk, moving to stand in front of her. Gently he crooked a finger under her chin, lifting her face to look in her eyes. "You know why."

* * *

Snippy and Snarky peered around Harry's head to look down the hallway. _"Oooh . . . sssscary . . ."_

Harry had put Snarky on his own shoulder when he tried to bite Draco for yelling at him. It had been a near miss. He looked over at Draco, who was glancing over the room. "Never been here before?"

"No." Draco smirked. "Y'know, Potter, you break a lot of rules for being a Gryffindor."

"I'm a Slytherin now." Harry smirked back. "You're the Gryffindor."

_"I think they're flirting. Does that sound like flirting to you?" _Snippy looked quizzically at the two.

_"I think sssso."_ Snarky nodded. _"Course, I suppose Malfoy hasn't had much practice with that. Not usually necesssary from what I heard."_

"You two are the reason my reputation is in tatters isn't it?" Draco groaned. "I haven't shagged that many! Not nearly as much as you'd think!"

_"Liar, liar, pantssss on fire!"_ Snippy laughed.

_"Well there you go! That's a pick up line if I ever heard one!" _Snarky grinned. _"Try that one on Harry - see if he'll ssssleep with you!"_

"No." Harry glared at Draco. Carefully, he proceeded through the hall to the door Fluffy used to guard. He stopped outside it.

"Three-headed dog, huh?" Draco stared at the door.

"Yup." Harry grimaced. "Short on patience, big on drool. It wasn't pretty."

Harry tried the door, and surprisingly it was unlocked. They walked through, staring in disgust at the room. It was piled high with old trunks, coated in thick dust. Harry approached one and opened it. It was full of old text books. "So, tell me, Draco. How is it that you can understand parseltongue?"

"I'm not exactly sure. But I think it has to do with being . . . you know . . ."

"Hmm." Harry muttered. The snakes looked at him with shrewd eyes. Snippy opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off.

"Hey, Potter - look at this!" Malfoy had opened a very old trunk in the back. It had the Hogwarts emblem carved into, along with the other houses. On the inner lid were carved the initials: S.S. and G.G. "How old do you think this is?"

_"Older than Hogwartsssss,"_ hissed Snippy. _"Check it out, Snarky. Salazar's old school chest."_

Snarky dived into the trunk, popping back up with a photo album, which he tossed on the floor. _"Ha! I knew we left that somewhere!"_

"What is it?" Harry settled himself on the floor next to the trunk, pulling the volume into his lap. Snippy and Snarky each perched on a knee, looking at it. Harry looked up at Malfoy with an inquiring eye. Grimacing at the dirt on the floor, he gingerly knelt behind Harry, a hand on his shoulder to steady himself. Harry flexed his shoulder, slightly discomfitted at Draco's familiarity. Draco shot him a knowing glance, but did not move his hand. Harry didn't ask to him to move it either.

_"It's our family photo album!"_ Snippy answered.

"You have family!" Harry shuddered. "Are they anything like you?"

_"Of course not! Each parsel snake pair is incredibly unique."_ Snarky sniffed.

"Hold on a tic." Draco frowned. "Parsel snake pair?"

_"Yeah, s'right! We come in pairs. Salazar's idea,"_ Snippy explained. _"We were created by him as a gift for Godric's birthday. A whole new, improved species of snake."_

_"Yeah, he made quite a few pairs of us, gifts for favorite students, faculty and the like. We're like . . .party favors,"_ Snarky reflected.

"You're telling me that Salazar Slytherin created you cretins for Godric Gryffindor's birthday?" Harry asked slowly. "Was it a practical joke?"

_"That'sss cold, Harry. We're not cretins."_ Snarky stared at him. _"We're snakes."_

_"Yeah, God and Sal used to be really close."_ Snippy gave Harry and Draco an appraising look. _"If you know what I mean, and I think you do."_

"You mean they were - " Draco started.

_"Symmetrius."_ Snarky cut him off. _"Or were you about to say something else?"_

"They were Symmetrius! But I thought that was a myth." Harry seemed startled.

"No, you didn't . . ."Draco whispered in his ear.

_"Yeah, and all snakes were created equal,"_ Snarky snickered.

"How did you know that Draco and I . . . that we . . . I'm not even sure . . ." Harry struggled with the words.

_"You see it once, you can spot it again."_ Snippy shrugged. _"Not like you two are real stealthy with the secret keeping."_

_"Just how old are you two?"_ Draco questioned deciding to see if he could also speak parseltongue. To his delight, he could. He found that he enjoyed the way the new hissing sound came from his throat. Was it just him, or did this add a whole new degree of sexy to his persona? By the expression on Harry's face, it wasn't just him.

_"We just told you we were created by Salazar Slytherin!"_ Snippy pointed out. He tapped Draco's forehead with his tail. _"Hello? Can you hear me now?"_

_"Same problem as Godric. Never did pay enough attention to us," _Snarky sighed.

"Wait a minute. Godric was a parsel tongue?" Harry asked, the thought making him feel lighter inside.

_"No,"_ Snippy said simply.

Snarky remained quiet.

Harry looked between the two of them. They never, ever had just one word to say. About anything.

_"No?"_ Draco asked. Harry shivered. He could not believe the effect that Draco speaking parseltongue was having on him. He squirmed a little, as Draco's fingers tightened on his shoulder, the tips of his fingers grazing Harry's neck.

_"It wasn't our fault! He needed to develop a sense of humor,"_ Snarky defended.

"What are you on about?" Harry questioned.

_"We don't speak ill of the dead,"_ Snippy said.

"Since when do you not speak ill about anyone?" Harry snorted.

_"You're a very nosy person, Harry,"_ Snarky hissed at him.

_"Yeah, why you all up in our biz'ness!"_ Snippy whipped his head around. They had really been enjoying the new Muggle studies class. A lot.

_"I'll give you a pound bag of fizzing whizbees,"_ Draco offered.

_"Each?"_ They asked shrewdly.

_"Done,"_ Draco agreed. Never underestimate the greed of a candy connoisseur

"You know you don't have to speak in parseltongue for them to understand you," Harry commented, twisting a little to look over his shoulder at Draco.

Draco smirked, letting his face get close to Harry's. _"What's the matter, Hero? Am I making you uncomfortable?"_

_"That's not the word I would use,"_ Harry replied, noting with satisfaction that as he had expected, Draco was not immune from the reaction to parseltongue either.

Snippy and Snarky watched with avid interest. Draco took a shallow breath and turned away from Harry.

"So what happened?" Draco asked, dropping the parseltongue before he was tempted to do something stupid.

_"Well, we were hanging out with God and Sal . . ."_

_"Y'know, just chillin', kickin' it with our boys . . ."_ Snippy nodded.

Harry shook his head. It was all Dr. Tatterton's fault.

_"And we said . . . something that offended Godric."_

_"Imagine that,"_ Harry said acrimoniously .

_"Shut up, Harry,"_ Snippy growled. _"He cursed us so no one could understand us but Salazar. That's why they call it 'parseltongue'. He developed a way for the other people in his house to hear us, and it gets passed along in Wizarding families. Very rare."_

Snarky shrugged. _"Who knew he couldn't take a joke?"_

_"What did you say?"_ Draco asked, grinning as he felt Harry shiver again.

_"We can't tell you."_ Snippy frowned. _"That's part of the curse."_

"But didn't making you speak a different language take care of him hearing you say whatever it was you said?" Harry bit his lip, steadfastly ignoring Draco's breath on his neck.

_"Yeah, but we kept repeating it to Sal . . ."_

_"And he kept snickering whenever he was around God . . ."_

_"But it was really, really funny!"_ Snarky burst into laughter, Snippy joining him.

"So, how'd the album end up in this trunk?" Harry asked, indicating the book in his lap.

_"Must've left it somewhere and the house elves picked it up." _Snarky shrugged. _"Open it up, Harry! Let's take a look!"_

* * *

Severus cupped her chin in his hand. His expression was soft as he spoke. "I wish you hadn't followed me into the woods that night."

Hermione wasn't offended. She knew why he wished that. "It'd make things a bit more simple, huh?" He brushed the back of his hand over her cheek and her eyes drifted shut of their own accord. Anywhere he touched became warm and liquid, as if his touch was melting her.

"Ah, but things are never simple for us, are they?" Severus knew he shouldn't be here, touching her and saying these things but he couldn't stop himself. As always, temptation caused him to sample the forbidden.

"No, I guess not." She forced herself to open her eyes. She felt as if her thoughts were fuzzy, it was as though his presence focused all of her thoughts solely on him and there was little room for any other musings.

Severus reluctantly drew his hand away from her upturned face. "We need to talk, Hermione." He sat down beside her.

"I guess we do," she acquiesced. "But don't you dare start acting like Mr. Professor! I know that we might still be teacher and student but I'm not some silly school girl."

"Of course not. You're far from it, in fact."

"So, you admit that there's . . . something between us."

"I feel it. And, of course there is. We've blurred the line between teacher and student, Hermione. We've cast ourselves in the roles of equals."

"Exactly."

"Exactly," Severus looked less than pleased. "We might be playing the roles but we aren't equal. You are still a child, for all intents and purposes, and I am still your teacher."

"If you see me as a child, then why have you been running around here like a madman, glaring at any boy who so much as looks at me?" She asked mutinously.

"I seldom run, I sweep into a room majestically, trailing glory and awe," Severus said, deadpan. She smiled a bit but was sobered by his expression. "The reason I've been acting like a pratt is simple. Once I have something in my possession, Hermione, I never let go."

"But . . . you don't possess me," she flushed as she thought about the impact of that statement. "I mean . . ."

"Not yet." Severus eyes were haunted as he took her hand between his two larger ones. "But I want to."

"And that's bad?"

"For you." He released her hand and moved slightly away from her.

"I see," she said gravely. Hermione forced herself to her feet. It was tempting to sit here in the dim light with him while he spoke softly to her . . . but, like most things in the Wizarding World, it was an illusion. Severus would never let anything happen between them because he felt he was protecting her from himself or something else she couldn't name.

"Hermione? Say something." He searched her face for some reaction but got none. Her expression was neutral. Serene. Frankly, he'd been expecting a tongue lashing or a flippendo out the window. Anything but this mask of carefully concealed emotion. She was becoming quite a spy. He felt a flush of pride for his apt pupil and a rush of remorse for the guileless school girl she'd been.

"Whatever you think is best, Severus," she answered politely. She walked away from him and to the door of the classroom.

"I don't recall dismissing you." Severus suddenly thought teaching Hermione to be evil was not such a great idea.

"I know," Hermione replied, leaning against the door jamb with an inscrutable smile on her face. Severus frowned at her, trying to figure out her game. If he thought she was giving in or giving up this easily he was sorely mistaken."And I don't expect this detention to show up on my permanent record." She tossed him a cheeky wave and sauntered out of the room.

Severus put his head in his hands. "Fuck me."

* * *

Two snakes, with black masks slightly askew, were pictured in a set of Wanted Posters. One of them held a silver pistol in his tail. And the other was snickering.

_"Sneaky and Snatchy. You really had to watch your stuff around them. Turn around and - "_

_"It was gone, and they were splitsville."_ Snippy nodded.

"So, they were a lot like you," Harry grinned.

_"We're candy thieves, H-man. Not kleptos,"_ Snarky reproached him. _"Turn the page."_

Two more snakes appeared. This time, from a plush chaise lounge. Around them were open boxes of bon-bons, and cosmopolitans in brightly tinted glassware The snakes peered down their nostrils at them.

_"Snobby and Snooty. Stuck up little bitc-"_

"Hey, watch the language," Harry admonished

_"Well, ex-cuuuuuse me, you self-righteous sex-god smoocher." _Snippy rolled his eyes. _"But they were."_

Draco turned his face away, hiding his grin, but his shaking hand on Harry's shoulder gave him away.

_"Always BITCHING about something."_ Snarky poked Harry with his tail. _"Bitch, bitch, **bitch,** bitch, bitch."_ The dark haired young man glared at him. _"Oh, I'm sorry!"_ the little snake said with false contrition. _"Did I offend you Harry? I forgot how you're all Mr. Harry Proper."_

_"They kind of remind me of you, Draco,"_ Snippy cut in, staring at the picture as the snakes refused to look at him.

Draco frowned. "You have me confused with my father. He's the one laying about eating bon-bons."

Harry turned the page to two snakes almost completely covered up by a pile of tissues. As he watched one sneezed and the other blew his nose. Harry's lips curled in disgust.

_"Oh, turn the page already. Damn that's nasty."_ Snippy looked nauseated. _"Meet the allergy twins, Sneezey and Snotty."_

_"Snotty . . .'nuff said,"_ Snarky agreed. _"Quick before they hock something else up. Should have quarantined them."_

The next page revealed two haggard looking snakes. They sported little red bandanas and were standing in front of a wall of graffiti. They seemed to be keeping the rest of what they had out of sight of the camera.

_"Sniffy and Snorty."_ Snarky nodded.

Draco raised a questioning eyebrow.

_"Druggies. They live in New York now,"_ Snippy explained. Sniffy twisted himself into a 'W'. _"West side, baby."_

_"Come on, let's see the rest of the fam,"_ Snarky insisted.

Draco turned the page this time to reveal two snakes in sunglasses. One wore a leather jacket. The other had a blue boa on. They were signing autographs.

"They're famous?" Harry asked.

_"Just a cable access show. Good dressers though. Snappy and Snazzy,"_ Snippy said sagely.

_"Absolute poofs but good with an outfit."_

On the next page were a pair of unusual snakes. One of them was sliding through a stream. The other one was basking in the sun and was as white as Dumbledore's hair.

_"Mutants,"_ Snippy criticized. He launched into an imitation. _"Look at me! I'm Snowy, so white and pure! I'm as shiny as a baby's bum. Bah!"_

_"And what about the eel? Snorkely. Like he's ssso special because he didn't drown when we chucked him in the water."_

"So, I'm sensing some resentment," Draco managed. He was trying not to laugh.

_"Nobody asked you, pretty boy,"_ Snippy sniped. _"You wouldn't think that eel was so damn special if he turned up in your bathtub, would you? Turn the page." _

_"Because, you know. . .we could arrange that,"_ Snarky threatened.

The snakes resented any admiration of other reptiles. As far as they were concerned, they were the pinnacle of snake achievement and class.

Draco turned the page and found a pair of surly snakes. They mugged for the camera . . . glowering and smirking.

_"Remind you of anyone, Malfoy?"_ Snippy asked with a hissing laugh. _"That's Sneery and Snarley."_

_"They're whacked."_ Snarky grinned at his new word.

_"And wiggin'."_ Snippy wasn't to be outdone.

"Pretty soon I'm going to need a dictionary." Harry turned the page.

_"Are you gonna touch that word, or should I?"_ Snippy asked.

_"Leave it, dog. That's beneath us." _

_"Word!"_

They turned to see one snake popping out of a bureau drawer. He had a sock on his head. In the corner of the picture, another snake was taking notes.

_"Nosy pratts,"_ Snarky pronounced. _"Snoopy and Snitchy almost turned us in too."_

_"They're the reason Sneaky and Snatchy are in jail,"_ Snippy said angrily.

_"Sssstool snakes." _

Harry grinned. "Hmm . . . now, who do I know that sneaks into people's rooms and snoops through their stuff?"

_"I don't know. Who?"_ Snippy said innocently.

_"I pretty sure I know he was talking about. Yo! He's sitting right there!"_ Snarky pointed to Draco. _"Geez, you'd never make it as a spy."_

"Yeah, I was talking about Malfoy," Harry said sarcastically.

_"I don't know, Potter, you seem to do an awful lot of talking about me,"_ Draco drawled, noting how Harry shivered everytime he spoke like that.

"None of its complimentary."Harry flipped the page.

These two snakes were sitting on beanbag chairs on the next page. They were wearing peace signs made of hemp and seemed to be surrounded by a hazy substance in the air. They had their tales entwined and they kept blowing kisses to each other.

_"Are these Haze's relatives?"_ Draco asked.

_"Uh, no."_ Snarky whispered to his comrade, _"Man, he doesn't know a snake when he sees one. Blonds."_

_"That's Snoggy and Snuggley. Big on the free luuuuve. Big on the free drugs too. Let's just say they helped Haze on his way to herb land the last time they were here." _Snippy shook his head.

Pondering the free love comment, Snippy turned to Draco. _"They kinda remind me of you too."_

"What's that supposed to mean?" Draco asked as Harry flipped the page.

_"Never mind. These are the two that really remind of you."_

There was a picture of two snakes that was obscured by a black band over their faces and some private areas of their bodies. They were both smoking cigarettes and appeared very relaxed.

"Who the hell is that?" Harry asked.

_"Smutty and Slutty,"_ Snarky answered. _"They're in jail too."_ He gave a wicked laugh.

"Criminals?"

_"Well, sort of,"_ Snippy said with a frown. _"It wasn't what Slutty was doing, its just that Smutty kept filming it."_

_"And selling it,"_ Snarky added.

The young men through down the book. "Ugh! Snake porn."


	16. Confessions

**TITLE:** Trading Spaces 16

**RATING:** R (slash warning m/m)

**PAIRING:** HG/SS, HP/DM, HP/HG (friendship), RW/HG/HP (friendship)

**Chapter Sixteen: Confessions**

****

* * *

Hermione was seated on a marble bench in the Belle Garden. Professor Sprout had planted several gardens for the rest and relaxation of the student body. Hermione often went to the garden to collect her thoughts or read on her days off. The early autumn air was cool and sweet, infused with the earthy scent of leaves and apples. It was twilight and the sky was a deep purple. She could hear crickets singing to one another in the thick grass. The last fireflies of the season danced in the wind, giving the illusion of a thousand small candle flames.

"Hermione," someone said above her.

Hermione grasped her wand, instantly on guard. "Who's there?"

"Calm down, it's only me." Harry materialized from the darkness as he removed his invisibility cloak. He was hovering mid-air, slightly above her head, on some object that was also invisible. His Firebolt.

Relieved, she tucked her wand away once more. "What are you doing out here? And how did you make your broom invisible?"

Harry grinned. "Fred and George gave me a spell for it. And I'm out here looking for you."

"Is something wrong?" Hermione asked, concerned.

"No, I just wanted to spend some time with my best friend." He offered his hand to her. "Come on, let's go for a ride."

"Uh," she hesitated. "Harry, broomsticks and I are like oil and water . . . we shouldn't be mixed. No good will come of it."

"Then I won't let you drive," Harry said patiently, still offering his hand. "Come on, then. What are you waiting for?"

"Nothing, I guess." She gingerly took his hand and he pulled her on board. She situated herself behind him and he pulled the cloak over both of them. They were completely invisible. "So, you fly around like a great big ghost a lot?"

Harry chuckled as he allowed the Firebolt to climb higher in the air. "Even the 'famous Harry Potter' needs a break from things. And I imagine that's why you were 'communing with nature'."

"You make me sound like Haze." Hermione held onto his waist tighter as he sped up. Harry always did like to go fast.

"I've never known you to turn to herbal refreshments. But . . . speaking of the munchies . . . how do you feel about ice cream?"

"I come down on the side of ice cream. Go dairy!"

"I think you've spending too much time around the professor," Harry teased. "You're starting to sound like him."

Hermione grinned. "He's less perky but just as sarcastic. So, why the craving?"

"I just felt the need."

"There's some Bertie Botts flavor in the kitchens."

"Real ice cream, Hermione. No snaps, crackles, or pops. Just honest to chocolatey goodness."

"Oooh . . . Muggle ice cream. I haven't had that in so long. Where do we get it?" She asked.

"Around the block." Harry directed his broom skyward. "Hold on."

****

* * *

A half an hour later, Hermione and Harry were ensconced in a back corner booth at Sweet Henry's, a local ice cream shop. The restaurant actually looked like an ice cream confection. The booths were in pastel shades of pink, blue, yellow, and purple. The floors were rainbow colored and the chandeliers were made to look like cherries. In the middle of their table sat a banana split on a large platter. The sundae had four bananas, four scoops of vanilla, four scoops of chocolate, hot fudge, caramel, sprinkles, whipped cream, and eight cherries. They also had steaming cups of hot coffee and glasses of ice water.

"We'll never be able to eat all this," Hermione said disbelievingly. She had a slender ice cream spoon in her hand.

"Speak for yourself," Harry mumbled around a bite of ice cream.

Hermione rolled her eyes before scooping a cherry onto her spoon. "So what really prompted this little field trip?"

Harry looked over at her innocently. "Ice cream?"

"Nice try, Harry." She ate another bite of chocolate ice cream slathered in hot fudge sauce.

"I don't know." Harry shrugged. "I thought we could talk, like we used to." He smiled wistfully. "Remember this summer? That little café in Rome?"

She smiled. "We'd drink a pot of coffee each and talk until they made us go home."

"When you weren't dragging me around those moldering ruins, of course," Harry teased.

"The Parthenon, you mean?" Hermione reproved. "You have no appreciation for history."

"In the form of crumbling dusty stuff? No thanks. And there's only so many statues of gods you can look at," Harry pointed out.

Her eyes danced wickedly. "If I remember right, you liked seeing the, er, large ones."

Harry blushed. "Hermione!" he objected. "And even if I did, I wasn't the only one!"

"Whatever you say, Harry," she singsonged.

"Besides, ogling a statue is much better than ogling a Snape."

"How would you know?" she said archly.

Harry put his spoon down. "What's really going on with you and Snape?"

She sighed. "I honestly don't know. It seems to change all the time."

"And you've kissed him?" Harry asked, curiously. She nodded and Harry tried not to grimace at the mental image. "Have you slept with him?"

"That's none of your business, Harry Potter!" she said primly.

Harry scooped up another bite of ice cream. "Oh, yes it is. Hermione, I'm your gay best friend. That's what we do."

She gave him a considering look. "And, as your female best friend, I get the same privileges."

"What are you talking about?"

"Quid pro quo, Harry. I spill it about Severus and you tell me about Malfoy. Deal?"

"What makes you think there's anything for me to talk about?" Harry asked.

"Oh, please!" Hermione rolled her eyes. "I could cut the sexual tension with a knife."

Harry considered it for a moment before nodding. "You first."

She took a deep breath. "I kissed him and there may have been some touching too," Hermione asserted. She took a spoonful of whipped cream.

"Naughty touching?" Harry teased.

"Harry!"

"Above or below the waist?"

Hermione flung the whipped cream at him, splattering his glasses with it.

"Hey!" he complained.

She laughed at his disgruntled expression. "Serves you right."

"I was just being thorough." Harry plucked the glasses from his nose and wiped them off with his napkin and a bit of the ice water from his glass. "Seriously though, how was it?" Harry couldn't help but be intrigued. Why would anyone willingly get that close to Snape?

Hermione gave him a goofy sort of smile. "It was very nice. And he seemed to know exactly what he was doing." She bit her bottom lip. "There's something to be said for experience. When he put his hand on my-"

"Too much information!" Harry halted her with his hand. "I'm glad that you're happy and, er, fulfilled but-"

"That's just it! He's kissed me and we've established the touching part, but he won't admit that he likes me. Severus told me that I was too young for him."

"He rejected you?" Harry asked, appalled at the very idea. "But you're pretty and he's ug-"

She glared.

"Old," Harry finished lamely. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know. Severus had a point, Harry. I'm much younger than he is. Not to mention the whole spy issue."

"Does he make you happy?"

Hermione's smile was absolutely beautiful. Harry couldn't remember her ever looking so lovely. "Very," she said simply.

"Would you regret not doing anything about your feelings?" Harry asked curiously. "Later on down the road, I mean."

She thought about this a moment. "I think I might. I don't know him that well but I feel close to him. We have a very powerful connection."

"Are you sure that's not the life or death situation you two are in?" Harry pointed out.

Hermione reached out and took his hand. She could see the concern in his eyes. "I'm a spy but I'm being very careful. And Severus is right there with me," she assured him.

"Promise me you won't do something stupid, like getting yourself killed." Harry squeezed her hand.

"That's a promise, I'll be only too happy to keep," Hermione said.

"It's all coming down this year, isn't it? With Voldemort, the Death Eaters . . . all of it."

"I think so," Hermione agreed. "This is a scary time."

'Then, maybe we should gather any happiness we can find," Harry said softly. He wasn't just speaking about Hermione. He cleared his throat and pulled his hand away from hers. "So, maybe you should give Snape a run for his money."

"What do you mean?"

Harry smiled at her. "Put on a dress and some make-up and then make him sorry he ever turned you down."

Hermione thought about that for moment. "You might be right."

"Of course I'm right," Harry said smugly.

"Are you okay with it though? Do you mind if I date Snape?"

Harry tried not to turn green at the thought. Then, he sighed. Harry had a thing for Malfoy, who was he to throw stones? "Of course, whatever makes you happy is fine with me. Although, they're plenty of other guys in this school. When you finally come to your senses, you could date one of them," he quipped.

"Not going to happen," she said firmly. Hermione looked at him speculatively. "Come on, tell me about Malfoy."

"Hermione, I don't know if I should-" While he knew she was only wanting relationship details, his and Malfoy's 'relationship' (if that was what he should call it) was helplessly entangled with their . . . condition, so to speak.

"I told you!" She couldn't keep the devilish grin off her face. "Besides, I already know he's a good kisser." She frowned. "Hmm . . . is he the first guy we've both kissed?"

"I never said I kissed him," Harry prevaricated.

"Cut it with a knife!" she retorted. "And if Severus and I hadn't walked into the hospital wing that one time you two would have been rolling around on the floor."

"Hermione!"

"What? You can talk about north and south of my waistband and I can't tease you about the floor?"

"Fine, I've kissed him." He shrugged, trying to sound nonchalant. "I guess it was okay."

"Just okay?" she questioned.

Harry thought back to their last kiss. He could feel Malfoy's lips on his own, the warm breath on his cheek, and his strong arms around him. "Better than fine, I guess," he admitted. Harry took a long drink of the cool water. Intense. Life-altering. Incredible. Yeah, better than fine.

"You didn't think there was too much tongue?" Hermione asked, a contemplative look on her face.

"Malfoy_ french_ kissed you?!" Harry's shoulders slumped. "No, I can't even pretend to be surprised."

Hermione flushed. "Well, he is, er, rather, um, experienced."

"I think you mean promiscuous. And he's been with both girls and guys. Lots of them." Harry had to admit that he was little intimidated by this. Compared to Malfoy, he was practically a virgin.

"Harry, about me kissing Malfoy . . . it's strictly to protect myself." She grimaced. "As strange as that sounds. Severus and I have to appear to be involved but we needed a cover. I don't actually like kissing Malfoy."

"And here I thought you were going to shag him on the breakfast table," Harry taunted.

Hermione flushed. "I'm sorry about that. I was angry and I wasn't thinking."

"No, you were trying to make Snape jealous. Right?"

She nodded.

"I think it worked." Harry chuckled. "I thought he was going to kill Malfoy."

"Or me," Hermione said.

"And, there's no need to apologize. I'm not sure what's going on between us. It's not like I have some claim on him." A little voice in his head roared in protest of this statement.

"But you want to," Hermione said shrewdly.

"Maybe." Harry took another sip of his coffee. Yes, he wanted to have a claim on Malfoy. Lately, every time he saw Draco, something deep inside Harry called out "mine!" and Harry had to take a breath to keep it inside. "Ever since the ball, I can't think of him the same way."

"That makes sense." She nodded.

"Does it? Maybe you can explain it to me then." Harry set his cup down, pushing his hands through his hair with an air of distraction. "I've hated him for nearly seven years now. He's insufferable, arrogant, and a bastard at times. He cheats and lies, and his hobbies include making my life a living hell and having parties with Death Eaters. So why is it that I could have killed his father for the way he treated him that night? Why is it that every time we get into a fight now all I can think about is whether or not he's going to kiss me? Why don't I hate him like I used to?" Harry put his head down on the table beside the ice cream with a groan.

"Because, Harry," Hermione slid her fingers through his hair, soothing him. "He's not just the villain in our little story anymore. He's a person." Her expression hardened. "And for the record, I could have killed his father before he even saw Draco that night."

Harry looked up at her, a small smile playing about his lips. "Really?"

"Or at least flippendoed him into a champagne fountain."

****

* * *

The next afternoon, Hermione knocked on the door to Professor Tatterton's apartment. "Dr. Troy? Are you in there?"

"Hermione? Is that you?" A voice called from behind the door just before it was flung open. "Hello, sweet tart." Troy backed out of the doorway and bowed in a very courtly manner. "Do come on in," Troy intoned, doing a horrible British accent. "We're actually having tea and crumpets! Throw in a little Masterpiece Theatre and I'd be a true Englishman."

Hermione stepped over the threshold and was taken aback by Troy's apartment. It had the customary stone walls and floors, the enormous fire place, and leather furniture favored by other professors . . . but the rest of the room was quite different. For one thing, there was an enormous sound system on the far wall. Four C.D. towers were crammed in beside it. In place of the usual paintings on the walls, were movie posters. Apparently, Dr. Troy was a film buff. She recognized some of them: The Matrix, When Harry Met Sally, The Crying Game, and others.

"So, what's the verdict, crumb cake?"

"I like it," Hermione said decisively. And she did. The place suited him. She walked further into the room and found Oliver sitting on Troy's couch with a cup of tea in hand. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt," Hermione said.

"Nonsense." Troy waved a dismissive hand in her general direction. "You're always welcome here. Sit your sweet self down and let's dish."

Hermione sat down on the loveseat, opposite Troy and Oliver who were seated on the couch. Wood offered her a cup of tea and she took it politely. She was itching to talk to Troy alone but she didn't want to be rude.

"You look tense. What's the sitch?" Troy asked.

She sighed and shot a look at Wood. "Er, maybe this is a bad time. I should probably-"

Wood stood up, a smile tugging at his mouth. "That's all right, Hermione. You look like you need some advice from Dr. Love over here. Besides, I need to go to the Pitch and work on a few of my moves."

Troy smirked. "Like those need work."

Hermione blushed. "Thank you, Oliver."

Wood leaned down and kissed her cheek, before whispering in her ear, "It's about Snape, isn't it?"

"Do you really want to know?"

Oliver was wearing a faintly disgusted look as he straightened up. "Er, no." He was about to turn around and walk to the door when Troy's voice forestalled him.

"Don't I get a kiss too?"

Hermione smiled at the two men.

Wood leaned down and planted a kiss on Troy's mouth. "See you later on tonight." Then, he sauntered to the door.

"Maybe you can show me a few of your moves!" Troy called as he exited the room.

"You and Oliver are a couple?" Hermione asked, beaming.

"Yes, he's quite a honey, huh?" Troy sat back, a smile curving his mouth. "But you didn't come here to discuss my love life, did you?"

"No," Hermione admitted. "I came here to talk about Severus."

"What did Sevvie do this time?" He frowned.

"It's actually what he didn't do that's the problem." She took a deep breath. "You said I could come to you if I needed to talk or some advice."

Dr. Troy's eyes lit up. "Why yesv. . . yes, I did." He raised an eyebrow. "So, spill it, sweetness, your Fairy Godfather is here for you. And I want to know all the juicy details." Just because he and the professor weren't compatible, didn't mean he couldn't relish Hermione's situation.

"Well . . . you see . . . um," she mumbled, blushing furiously. "We ended up going to this ball together."

"A date!" Troy crowed, pleased for her. "What did you wear?"

"A ball gown. But it was an evil date," Hermione corrected. "There were these very bad men there and--"

"Odor Eaters," Troy said, nodding sagely.

She giggled. "Um, no . . . Death Eaters, but I'll remember that one for later. Harry will get a kick out of it. Anyway, Severus and I are pretending to be . . . involved."

"Right . . .pretending to be involved." Troy winked "And I assume there was some 'pretend' smooching and a little over the clothes action?"

"Dr. Troy!" she cried, embarrassed and amused at the same time.

"What? I'm a professor, I'm not dead. Let me guess, dear ol' Sevvie flipped out afterwards?"

"How did you know?" she asked in wonderment.

Troy sighed, leaning against the back of the couch. "I've seen it a million times, usually with the closet cases. I bet he's feeling a bit guilty. You know, 'I'm gettin' freaky with Lolitta', etc."

Hermione wasn't sure she knew what 'gettin' freaky' was but she had understood the part about guilt. "So, how do I get him past it? He says I'm too young and he's older and more experienced and-"

"Blah, blah, blah," Troy said dismissively. "All excuses, sweet thing. You need to make him see you as an adult. An equal."

"But he said we weren't! He said that he was still my teacher and I was still his student."

"Nonsense! You are a brilliant young woman, not a child. You just have to make him see that."

"How?"

"You really want my advice?"

Hermione sighed. "Yes, I really do."

"I must be cruel to be kind." Troy regarded her with an appraising eye. He noted the school uniform and frowned. "First of all, let's leave the naughty school girl look to Britney Spears, okay? It's not helping your case." He turned his head to the side. "When I look at you I see Winona Ryder . . . before the shoplifting. I see intelligence, charm, and some quirkyness. You're Winona in Heathers, I think. Less black than in Beatlejuice and more sane than in Mermaids. How does that sound?"

"I'm not sure. What are you talking about?"

Troy smiled in delight. "Why, a make-over, peach pie!"

****

* * *

Draco peered into the mirror, attempting to straighten his hair, but was distracted by a hissing object flying by in the background. _"Will you two get out of here, already?"_

_"We're trying!"_ Snarky burst into a fit of giggles as he turned upside down and bared his fangs at Malfoy. _"Where are the brakes?"_

_"I told you not to eat so many fizzing whizbees at once!"_ Draco reached up and untangled Snippy from a chandelier. _"You're going to be floating for a week!"_

_"Imagine . . . a Malfoy . . . lecturing us on excesssss."_ Snarky did another mid-air somersault. _"If I wasn't about to blow chunks, I'd be laughing myself senseless." _

_"Blow what?"_ Malfoy asked.

_"Puke, dude,"_ Snippy translated.

_"If you're going to vomit, kindly do it in Potter's room."_ He tried to toss Snippy on the bed, but he floated past it, laughing wickedly. _"What are you doing in here, anyway?"_

_"Why, we came to see you!"_ Snarky declared. _"We can't come hang with a Slytherin homey when we want to?"_

Draco glared at them. _"I'm not certain what a 'homey' is, but I assure you, I am not one."_ A look of horror crossed his features. _"Hold up, that's not some kind of slur against - "_

_"Of course not!"_ Snippy looked disappointed in him, as he attempted to hang onto his bedpost. _"Geez, pop culture lost on you much?"_

_"Apparently."_ Draco batted Snarky away from his head. _"Get the hell away from me!"_

_"I was just admiring your hair!"_ Snarky snickered. _"If you were Snape, I would have been stuck!"_

_"Are you trying to give me nightmares?"_ Snippy shuddered.

_"Do you two ever stop talking?"_ Draco cried in desperation. He had thought it would be more fun to be a parselmouth. Unfortunately, he just found himself saddled with two occasionally witty but annoying sidekicks. And while he enjoyed speaking snake language, when there was no one around to realize how sexy he sounded doing it, it didn't hold quite the same appeal.

_"Mmm . . . nah, not really. No,"_ they replied in unison.

Draco plopped down in a chair, head in his hands. _"I can't believe this."_

_"Oh, come on. Would you rather be talking to the basilisk?"_ Snarky asked slithering through the air above him.

_"Yeah, there was a real sophisticated conversationalist."_ Snippy crossed his eyes. _"Kill . . . kill . . . kill . . . die . . . die . . . die."_

_"Downright creepy."_ Snarky shuddered again. _"I mean, you'd run into him in the pipes - "_

_"And try to be polite. Y'know, give 'em the whole 's'up, great big snake guy? How's it hanging?', and he wouldn't even look at you - "_

_"Course, we'd have been petrified if he had,"_ Snarky pointed out. _"Although, that would have been better than talking to him."_

_"Then he'd slither by, whispering 'Let me rip you . . . let me tear you . . . I smell blood . . ."_ Snippy floated in front of Draco's face. _"Crazy, weird ass, cross eyed freak."_

_"No wonder Riddle made special friends with him."_ Snarky spun in circles, attempting to reach his half empty candy bag. _"Two of a kind. Heard they even look alike now."_

_"Don't know which of them should be more ashamed about that," _Snippy quipped.

_"Please, please go away!"_ Draco begged. This was his fourth straight hour of snake chat time, and he needed to be alone for awhile. _"Why don't you go check on Harry? I bet he misses you."_

_"Sssspeaking of Harry. Have you been getting any lately?"_ Snippy hung upside down in front of his face.

_"Huh?"_

_"Shagging, Malfoy. Geez, Snippy, you have to use smaller words with him,"_ Snarky admonished.

Draco scowled at both of them. _"Not that it's any of your business, but no."_ He was starting to wish Griff-Gruff would show up and kick these two out. He had scooped them up and tossed them outside the door a few times, but they would inevitably float back in the windows.

_"Losing your touch?"_ Snarky frowned. _"Well, red and gold really don't do a lot for your complexion."_

Snippy reached out with his tail and swiped it against Malfoy's cheek. _"Yeah, it makes you look kinda sallow."_

_"What is your obsession with my sex life?"_ Draco asked, exasperated.

Snarky attempted to tether himself by snagging a bit of Malfoy's hair with his tail. _"We were just trying to be polite. You know, chat you up on your activities"_

_"Ow!"_ Draco fought the urge to smack the snake across the room. Knowing his luck, it would come springing back and bite him. _"I do much more than shag people, you know!" _

Snippy nodded. _"That's right, Snarky, we forgot about harassing Harry and the sneering."_ The little snake peered down at him. _"By the way, how's that going for you?"_

Draco balled his hands into fists. _"Get. Out. Now."_

_"No, thanks,"_ Snarky shrugged. _"We're cool here." _

_"Besides, we haven't had more than one person to talk to since God and Sal. And we don't want to show any favoritism,"_ Snippy added.

_"Well, if you won't leave. I will."_ Malfoy scooped up his Quidditch gear.

_"You want us to come fly with you?"_

The door slammed behind Draco. He didn't look back.

_"Finally! Harry usually breaks down after an hour."_ Snippy turned to his compatriot.

_"I know! We were even trying to be extra annoying."_ Snarky breathed a sigh of relief. _"Why didn't he take the hint?"_

_"No one ever said he was the smart one. Let's get the candy."_

_"Where do we search?"_

_"Not the bed."_ He hissed a laugh. _"Gets too much use."_

_"Should we feel bad?"_ Snarky asked. _"Considering he gave us a pound each?"_

The both smiled at each other. _"Nah!"_

****

* * *

Hermione and Dr. Troy were seated on her bed. Every article of clothing she possessed was lying on the bed and he was sifting through them. "Hmm . . . no. Too black. Too old. Too . . . strange," he said as he examined various pieces. Finally, he settled on a pair of well-worn jeans and a wine-colored sweater. "Perfect. It's sexy but casual. The sweater brings out your eyes and hair. And the jeans are older . . . like him!"

She rolled her eyes. "You think this will work?" Hermione asked, doubtfully.

"On its own? Of course not, peach pie. You have to be able to pull it off. By the time I'm done with you, you'll have the 'tude to match. But first, I think you should begin by flirting."

"You mentioned that before but I don't know how to."

"I beg to differ," Dr. Troy contradicted. "I saw you do a fine job of it the other day," he teased "By the way, what was that blond muffin's name?"

"Draco Malfoy." She colored slightly. "I can't believe I did that."

"Don't worry about it, apple dumpling!" Troy assured her. "Believe me, I've seen much worse."

Hermione's eyes widened. She probably didn't want to know.

"Besides, I knew you weren't really going to get busy with him in the middle of the cafeteria."

"Get busy? Oh . . . you mean . . . oh." Hermione put her head in her hands. "You heard all that?"

"You were loud," Troy said, shrugging. "Can't say that I blame you, either. He's a nummy treat. How was the kiss?"

"Too much tongue," Hermione answered with a shrug.

Troy looked at her craftily. "Was this an attempt to make Sevvie jealous?"

"It didn't start out that way. Draco and I are pretending . . . never mind about that. The point is, I never meant for it to get so out of hand. But, yes, I did most of it to make him jealous."

"Congratulations, sweetie, it worked." Troy chuckled. "I thought he was going to lose it. I mean, with the glaring and the swooping."

"Yeah, I think I'm losing it, too."

"Nonsense. People do crazy things in the name of love. You're no different."

"Thanks, Dr. Troy." She reached over and hugged him impulsively. If he hadn't done anything else, he'd shorn up her confidence. "So, I just need to flirt with him?"

Troy patted her back. "I'll teach you some lines and then you can try them out on Sevvie." They both straightened up. "You ready?" He looked very serious.

She nodded as she pulled away from him.

"Repeat after me. I forgot my phone number, can I have yours?"

"Umm . . . he doesn't have a phone. Maybe I could ask to borrow his owl but that makes me sound like some kind of bird fancier or something."

Troy frowned. "I know another one about a mirror and pants, but I don't think that's appropriate."

"Why would anyone put a mirror in their pants?"

"Never mind . . . it's a thing." His eyes lit with a new idea. "Perfect! I should have thought of it sooner! Listen up, peach pie, here's what you're going to do . . ."

****

* * *

Oliver Wood circled the Pitch on his broom, smiling idly as he thought about Troy. However, his pleasant reverie was disturbed when he spotted someone stalking towards him, broom clutched in hand. Draco Malfoy. Grinning, he swept down and over to the young man.

"Alright there, Malfoy?" Oliver called.

"Fine." Then Draco looked up, realizing just who was there. For a moment, he had thought it was Harry, but had quickly dismissed the idea. He knew Harry's flying style by heart, and this didn't match. "What are you doing out here, Wood?"

"Why, I appear to be riding on a broom. Imagine that," Oliver shot back. "A Quidditch coach who flies around on a broomstick."

"Since when did you get all sarcastic?" Draco glowered at him, before leaning sideways on his broom, rising into the air and deftly straddling it. "Leave me alone."

"Well, that's quite a different tune than the last time we flew together." The new flying instructor smiled, warmth shooting through his eyes.

Draco smiled slightly, before clucking his tongue. "My, my, what ever would your new boyfriend say?"

"Merlin only knows. You can never tell what's going to come out of his mouth. He'd probably just congratulate me on my taste." Oliver shook his head. "But I wasn't suggesting another little snog session between us. I just thought you might like to talk."

"We did a little more than snog." Draco raised a brow. "And I think I've had enough idle chit-chat for the time being." He shuddered, hoping the flying snakes would be gone from his room by the time he returned.

"Oh, look!" Oliver pointed behind Draco. "Is that Harry?"

Draco spun around, but the sky and ground were clear. He turned back to Oliver with a deepened scowl.

"Sure you don't want to talk?" Wood smirked at him. Draco remained silent, so Oliver headed over to the Professors' tower and took a seat. Draco followed, hovering on his broom. "Well?"

"There's nothing to talk about," Draco insisted.

"I'm not falling for that, Draco," Oliver said softly. "Don't forget who you're talking to. I know you better than that."

Draco hung his head. It was true. In Oliver's last year, he had been walking out of the showers and accidently witnessed Lucius and Draco having a little 'father-to-son' talk. Lucius had berated him about Granger's superior academic standing, then reminded him of Potter's Quidditch prowess. He had then rapped him sharply on the temple with his cane and walked away with a swirl of his cape and a disgusted expression.

Draco had fought the tears that sprang involuntarily to his eyes from the pain in his head, and sank down onto the ground, pulling his knees to his chest. He had been startled when Oliver had placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "What do you want, Gryffindor?" he had spat.

"You're father's a prat, Malfoy," Wood had returned. "You shouldn't listen to him."

Oliver had helped him up off the ground and sent him to the showers. When he had returned, they went for a walk around the lake, and Wood had produced a bottle of gin, which they finished off. In a moment of drunken weakness, Draco had accepted the older boy's comfort, telling him about life at Malfoy Manor, and his father's disapproval, even confessing his affinity for the male sex and Lucius' distaste for the preference. Like a man who enjoyed the company of young girls had the right to cast stones! Oliver had convinced him that he should tell his father to piss off and do whatever he damned well pleased. They had been ready to head back to the castle, when Draco stopped Oliver, buried a hand in his hair and kissed him full out. After that, they had a brief affair, mostly based on pure physicality, but sometimes, late at night, Draco would lay exhausted next to Oliver, letting him run his fingers through Draco's silvery locks, and whisper the fears and pain his father caused. Oliver never said anything, he just listened, and waited for him to fall asleep. Draco would always awake the next morning alone, but in a better mood. He told himself it was just the shagging.

Now, Draco looked at Oliver, wondering how much he could say. "What are you getting at, Wood?"

"You and Harry. There's something going on between you two," Wood returned simply.

"Why does everyone think I'm sleeping with Harry?" Draco ran a hand through his hair. "I'm dating Granger."

"Right . . . that's why you call her Granger, instead of 'Hermione' or 'honey'."

"Actually I call her 'schnookums'. She's a great girlfriend."

"And Troy and I are just good friends," Wood replied. "I saw the way you've been looking at him. I know that look."

"You're insane." Draco crossed his arms over his chest.

"Tell the truth now. Have you kissed him?"

Draco's eyes darkened. "That doesn't mean anything. You'd have a hard time finding people I haven't snogged." Oliver merely looked at him. "Alright, so I'm not really sure what's going on. At first, I was just teasing him and then . . ."

"Go ahead."

"Well, it got a little more intense than I intended," Draco confessed. "He thinks I'm a Jr. Death Eater. He hates me. And I hate him, but . . ."

"But what?" Oliver encouraged him.

"There's a pull, whenever I'm around him . . ." Draco broke off, his voice a mere whisper. "He just dominates the room. Takes up all the air."

Oliver nodded. "Harry tends to do that anyway."

"No, it's stronger than that. I can't even ignore him anymore. If he's there, I have to be involved in some way, fighting or - "

"Kissing?"

"Usually both," Draco admitted. "I can't even sleep anymore. I bloody well dream about him! I think I know why, though. Ever since we cast that spell together -" Draco cut himself off.

"There's something else, isn't there? This is more than you getting flustered over an affair." Oliver's face narrowed in thought. "It's not like you to get flustered at all. Whatever it is, Draco, you can tell me."

"Alright, Oliver. I'm going to tell you something that you can't repeat." Draco took a deep breath. He had never confided in anyone but Oliver, and he had to talk about this with someone.

"You know you can trust me," Oliver said solemnly.

Draco studied him, his mind replaying the time he had tried to show Harry his arm and he had stopped him. "Gryffindor trust," Harry had said, his eyes as serious as Oliver's. Draco nodded. "Have you ever heard of Symmetrius?"

Oliver's eyes sparkled, and his breath caught. He leaned back, studying Draco with an awed expression.

"Wood? You still with me?" Draco waved his hand in front of Oliver's face. "Say something!"

"Fuck me."

Malfoy grinned. "Nah, been there . . . done that."

****

* * *

The next evening, Hermione was seated on a stool in the Potions classroom. She hadn't seen Severus since the night she'd had detention. Professor Snape was no where to be seen but he'd left an open decanter of ink on his desk and his notes for the next day were at his desk. He would probably be back soon. She stirred the protection potion for Professor Dumbledore and added some monk root to it. It was a very complicated mixture that wouldn't be ready for quite a while. She replaced the lid on the bubbling potion. Although, she really didn't need to be here babying this potion.

She was hoping to kick off her newly formed plan. If Troy was right, she'd have him right where she wanted him by the time she was through. She was dressed in the outfit that Troy had picked out for her and she was wearing perfume and a bit of make-up. Hermione took in a deep breath and told herself that she could do this. She was a brand new person - this Hermione went to Death Eater soirees and spied on their activities. Now she seduced Potions professors too. Hermione took in another calming breath. This place smelled of him. The herbal scents of the various potions ingredients, the warm smells of the braziers, the thick candles that burned on almost all the desks, and the unmistakable scent of the good professor himself- slightly musky and unabashedly male. It was so intense it was almost like he was right . . .

"You should be more careful, you know. Anyone could sneak up on you."

Hermione nearly jumped off her chair. "Holy cricket!" She turned in her seat to find Severus standing right behind her. His hand was outstretched, as if he'd been going to stroke her hair. It fell to his side.

"Miss Granger," Severus greeted. It was warm but polite and professional. That was how their interactions had to be from now on . . . except when they were in the company of Death Eaters. Suddenly, Severus was looking forward to the next meeting. "What can I do for you?"

Hermione took a deep breath and pasted on a vague smile. She really hoped this worked. "Nothing. I just came by to check on the potion."

"I assure you that it is quite safe in my hands," Severus said, amusement in his expression. "I have quite a bit of experience with potions." He allowed himself the pleasure of looking her over. Surely, there was no harm in just looking. Except that she was a different person out of her robes. Hermione seemed older, a bit more sophisticated. Or maybe he was just trying to justify his own wayward longings.

"Yes, I bet your hands are very . . . experienced," Hermione said, lowering her lashes flirtatiously.

Severus blinked. "Yes, er, well . . ." he trailed off as he swiftly stepped away from her. He cleared his throat. "How are your studies progressing, Miss Granger?"

"I'm doing quite well. Thank you for asking, professor." She made his title seem like an endearment. Hermione placed her hand on his forearm, idly playing with the buttons. "And how are your classes going?"

Severus was mesmerized by her nimble fingers. "What?" He shook his head as if to clear it. "Excuse me, what did you ask?"

"Your classes?" she prompted, a smile teasing the edges of her lips. This was a rare treat. She hardly ever saw him flustered.

"Yes, right. Students!" He hastily pulled his arm away as he remembered that's exactly what she was - his student. "They are," he paused as his lips twisted into their familiar sneer, "barely adequate."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Hermione returned. She resisted the impulse to smile. Severus was responding to her exactly as Dr. Troy told her he would. Troy had called this the "don't stand too close to me" plan of attack. It was taken from some Muggle singer's song whose name was a verb.

"It's to be expected," Severus said, retreating further from her. He placed himself safely behind his large desk and sat down. "If you'll excuse me, I-"

"Oh, I didn't mean to disturb you," Hermione said disingenuously. She drifted over to his desk, rolling her hips as she walked.

Severus gulped.

"Is something wrong?" Hermione asked innocently, coming around the side of his desk.

"Miss Granger," Severus said. He forced himself to use the cold tone he reserved for Neville Longbottom. "I insist that you keep your distance."

Hermione totally disregarded his directive and seated herself on top of the desk. "And if I don't?"

"I'll give you another detention," Severus threatened. "And this time, I'll put it on your record!" He realized that he sounded desperate but he needed to get her out of here while he could still think.

"That sounds like an excuse to get me all alone for two or three hours," Hermione teased. "I thought you wanted me to keep my distance." She leaned forward to whisper in his ear, "But then I don't see you backing away from me."

Severus shuddered as she kissed her way from his earlobe to his jaw line. "What's gotten into you?"

"I can tell you what hasn't yet." Hermione smirked, fixing him wit a pointed look. He actually gasped. Hermione smiled against his skin. "I'm an adult, Severus. I'm just acting like one."

"Merlin, help me," Severus groaned, his hands clenched on the arm of his chair.

"You want me, too," Hermione said as she looked him in the eye. "We're two adults who have . . . feelings for each other. And, yes, we don't know quite what they are but that's okay. There's nothing wrong with it . . . or us, Severus. "

His will was starting to crumble. "You should leave. _I_ should definitely leave."

Hermione leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his temple. "You don't seem to be going anywhere."

"The only other place I could get away from you would be my rooms and I know you would follow me there." Know or hope? He turned his head slightly until their lips were a hair's-breadth apart. "I don't think we should be alone together near a bed." His eyes belied that statement.

She still didn't kiss him, merely ghosted her lips over his. Hermione eyes danced mischievously. "Well, if you hadn't made that desk rule the other day, I'd suggest we clear off yours and--"

"Hermione!" Severus gasped. He wasn't sure if it was because of what she'd said or the rush of erotic images that produced in his overactive imagination.

She leaned away from him again and he was instantly bereft. She looked down, then up at him through her cinnamon colored lashes, and asked hesitantly, "Do you really want me to stop?"

Severus' control broke and he reached for her, pulling her onto his lap. "That would be even worse," he said against her lips before his mouth came down on hers.

****

* * *

Draco stared at the clock. It was nearly time for rounds and he wasn't sure he was ready to face Harry. It was one thing to see him in classes but it was quite another to be alone with him. Somehow, talking to Oliver made him feel more vulnerable. Draco hardly ever shared his feelings with other people. It simply wasn't the Malfoy way. Although, Wood had a way of getting him to give it up in more ways than one. And Potter . . . well, Harry seemed to blow past any of his defenses. Or maybe blow them up. He took a deep breath and shook himself. It was time that he stopped mooning around. He was Draco Malfoy, Prince of Slytherin, and the reigning Sex God of Hogwarts. "Pull it together, Malfoy." He walked toward the door, grabbing his broom as he went. Smirk in place, he headed towards the dungeons.

"Symmetrius," he whispered as he stood outside Harry's door. He stepped into the darkened room. "Ha - Potter?"

There was no answer.

Scanning the room, he spotted two floating objects. The snakes were fast asleep above Harry's bed, snoring. Stepping closer, he realized that Harry was stretched across his mattress, sleeping as well. He must have dozed off after dinner. Both of his arms were stretched above his head, bent at the elbows, hands under his skull. His face was turned towards the opposite wall, and his mouth was curved in a sinful smile. He was murmuring in his sleep but there were no intelligible words. There was this little hitch in his voice as he mumbled . . . he clearly wasn't picturing a Quidditch match.

"Must be one helluva dream, Hero," Malfoy whispered. Quietly he moved forward - eyes fixated on the sleeping form. Harry did not wake however. Draco shot a glance up at the snakes. They were still asleep, probably in a food-induced comatose state. Slowly, he sat on the edge of Harry's bed, debating methods of waking him up. Briefly, Draco thought about dousing him with cold water but decided against it when he realized how far away the bathroom was. Where's a servant when you needed one? He wondered if he should make a loud noise but he knew that would wake the snakes too and he didn't want to risk another chat with the two reptiles. Suddenly Harry shifted until he was facing Malfoy. Draco drew in a breath but Harry didn't awaken.

"Mmm . . . Draco . . . " Harry whispered.

Draco's lips curved into a smile laced with satisfaction. "Like I should be surprised." He smirked. "Well, I should give you something bloody well worth dreaming about, eh?"

Deftly, he straddled Harry's hips, careful not to put any weight on him yet. Then he carefully gathered Harry's wrists in his hands. The boy beneath him muttered something but he didn't stir. Draco pinned his wrists to the bed. Slowly, he leaned down and brushed his lips over Harry's -- once, twice, three times. Then he licked Harry's lower lip and bit into it, just a little too hard. Harry came awake with a gasp and Draco dropped his full weight down, effectively pinioning Harry to the bed.

"G'morning, Hero," Draco purred. "It's the man of your dreams."

"Drac-- Malfoy! What do you think. . .," Harry was cut off as Draco's mouth descended over his once more. He tried to prevent a moan from escaping the back of his throat, but was powerless under the sensual onslaught of the other boy's talented tongue. Harry tried to struggle out from underneath him and only persisted in sliding his body against Draco's in all the right places.

Draco groaned at the friction. "I never knew you were such a tease, Hero."

Harry moved his hips, ostensibly trying to buck Draco off but that only increased their contact. _"Me? You're the one who started it,"_ Harry hissed out, a wicked gleam in his eye.

"Bloody hell, Hero. If you want me to stop, that's not the way to go about it." Draco caught Harry's wrists together in his right hand, and with his left, turned Harry's head to the side, slowly kissing across his jaw and down his neck. Harry moaned, grinding up against Draco's hips. Draco bit down on where the blue of his jugular was pulsing for a second, before finally releasing Harry and sitting up. "As fun as this is, Hero, it's not why I came."

"Wha-?" Harry said, trying to clear away the sensual fog he'd been under. "Then why did you - I mean, why are you here?"

"It's time for rounds." Malfoy grinned at him, jumping off his bed. He walked to the door way, calling over his shoulder. "I'll let you pull yourself together. Meet me in the Common Room when you're ready to go."

"Right." Harry lay back down with a groan. "Ready to go."

_"Ssssex god strikes again . . ."_ came a hiss from over head. _"Thee, thee, thee . . ."_

Harry shot a look up at the ceiling. _"Shut up."_

_"Zzzzzz . . . thee, thee, thee . . . zzzzz."_

Harry hoisted himself up out of the bed, grabbed his broom, ran a hand through his hair and headed for the Common Room.

Draco stood in the center, staring at the green serpentine flames crackling in the fireplace. He seemed to be deep in unpleasant thoughts.

"So, now that we have the molestation part of the evening out of the way, ready for rounds?" Harry said tightly, acutely embarrassed.

Draco turned slowly, a decadent grin spreading over his face. "No."

"No?" Harry looked confused. Draco started to walk towards him.

"No." Draco came to a stop just a little too close to Harry for comfort. "I know you're Harry Potter and a Gryffindor to boot, but what do you say to a little misbehavior?"

"Like what?" Harry's eyes lit up with intrigue.

"Oh, no. No telling, that would be cheating." Draco leaned down towards Harry, glancing at his mouth. "C'mon, Potter. You'll like this. Trust me."

"Asking quite a lot aren't you?" Harry raised an eyebrow, restraining himself from leaning up to kiss Draco.

"What do you say, Hero?" Draco stepped back, flashing him a smirk. "Wanna be bad?"

****

* * *

Hermione and Severus swiftly strode down the corridor together. They didn't speak to each other and kept a socially acceptable amount of distance between them. They had to be very careful to not arouse suspicions. But they glanced at one another repeatedly - each one more heated than the last.

Hermione knew exactly where they were going and what would happen once they were there. And although she was a bit nervous, she was also terribly excited. She couldn't imagine anything more wonderful or right. She wanted to be with Severus in every sense of the word and she knew she'd remember this evening for the rest of her life.

Severus silenced the small voice within himself that whispered that this was wrong for a multitude of reasons. He only knew that he needed her - wanted her more than any woman he'd ever known. He'd regret it for the rest of his life if he never touched her, held her. She was granting him the astounding privilege of being the first man she made love with and he was going to glory in her and their union . . . conscience be damned.

They finally made it to his front door. Severus pushed it open and was dimly surprised to see his usual barriers weren't up but he didn't have time to think about it. Especially when Hermione was by his side, her hand clutching at his sleeve. He swung her up in his arms, like a groom bringing his bride home and carried her over the threshold.

His mouth fastened on hers and he kissed her hungrily. She responded in kind, her fingers clutching his shoulders as her mouth moved against his. He was about to continue down the hallway to his big, beautiful bed when someone cleared his throat. Severus pulled away from Hermione, looking about the room.

He found Lucius Malfoy seated in a wing char, his ridiculous cane in hand. "Oh, don't mind me, Severus," Lucius said, with a wave of his hand. "You know I love to watch."


	17. Wanna Be Bad?

**TITLE:** Trading Spaces 17/?

**RATING:** R (slash warning m/m)

**PAIRING:** HG/SS, HP/DM, HP/HG (friendship)

**Chapter Seventeen: Wanna Be Bad?**

* * *

Severus scowled at the intruder in his home. He started to march down the hallway with Hermione still in his arms. "In case you haven't noticed, Lucius, I'm busy at the moment. You'll find the door fifteen meters to your right."

Lucius' mouth curved into a wicked smile. "Like I said, don't mind me. Carry on with what you were doing. I have absolutely no objections." His eyes were glassy and his movements were slower than usual. He'd obviously been drinking.

"Put me down," Hermione said, sotto-voice to Severus.

Severus glowered at Lucius who was watching them with a delighted if dazed expression. "But-"

"Now, please," she insisted.

Severus groaned, somewhere inside, he knew that if he let his good senses return to him, he wouldn't be able to do this again. "We were going to-"

"Yes, and now the mood is ruined," Hermione said, stifling a smile.

Severus reluctantly let her slip from his hold but he kept his arm firmly around her. "Has anyone ever told you that you have the worst timing, Lucius?"

"From my viewpoint, I'm right on time," Lucius rejoined. "And there's no need to be shy, Severus, I've seen it all before."

Hermione gaped at the Potions Master.

"That's right, dear girl, Severus here is quite an exhibitionist. Why, he and I have-"

"We've been over this before, Lucius," Severus snapped. "One has to be a knowing participant to be considered an exhibitionist."

Hermione relaxed then. Of course, he'd never been involved in anything that sordid.

Lucius grinned. "Like you didn't know I was there!"

"Dammit, man," Severus bellowed. "I've told you a million times, I'm not in the habit of checking my closets as a prelude to romantic liaisons." He narrowed his eyes. "Or under my bed."

"That was disappointing," Lucius said with a sigh. "I'm more of a visual person. Although the moaning and the--"

"I don't appreciate being spied on." Severus took a moment to appreciate the irony of that sentence.

Hermione couldn't help but be curious but she kept her mouth shut, in case Lucius misconstrued that as curiosity of another sort.

"I was hoping you'd say that," Lucius purred. "How do you feel about active participation?"

"I'm against it!" Hermione said emphatically.

"Well, I never knew you felt that way about me, Lucius," Severus said dryly.

"I don't." The blond-haired man was busy looking Hermione over. He slid his cane onto his lap in what she could only describe as a provocative manner. "This might appear to be merely a handsome piece of craftsmanship but, it has other uses to. With a flick of the wrist, I can-"

"Please don't finish that sentence," Hermione managed to say, turning a brilliant shade of red. She couldn't believe it! She'd planned her seduction of Severus down to a 't' and yet here she was being propositioned by Lucius and his creepy cane.

Severus was staring at the cane with a disconcerted expression. "What could it possibly . . . ?"

Lucius stood up and sauntered towards the pair. "I can see why you chose her, Severus." He extended a hand, intending to touch Hermione's cheek. "I wonder if her skin is as soft as it looks."

Severus smacked his hand away. "I think we've already had this discussion about you coming near anything of mine." He stared at his now tainted hand in disgust, trying to remember if he had any disinfectant potion in his room.

Lucius pulled back. "You always were a prude." His gaze drifted to Hermione, a peculiar hear lit them from inside. "You won't hold Severus' attention forever, you know. It might be useful to have friends in high places. Perhaps you and I could come to some sort of arrangement."

"I think you should state your business, Lucius, while your tongue is still attached," Severus snarled. He held Hermione tighter against his side.

"Temper, temper . . ." Lucius chastised. "Be careful, Severus, I'm starting to think you have feelings for this girl."

Severus merely stared at him, a muscle working in his jaw.

"Fine," Lucius sighed. "I was only dropping by to be polite. Weren't you the one who said," Lucius paused, pasting on an irritated expression and moving his cloak about him in a very dramatic way. "I must be informed every time a Death Eater sets foot on Hogwarts property!"

"I said something to that effect," Severus acknowledged, still glaring at the man . . . who was staring at Hermione once more. "Well?"

Fueled by brandy and his own depraved appetites, Lucius was distracted yet again by the young girl before him. "Go put on your school uniform. We can play a game. You can be the naughty school girl and I'll be the professor who-"

"Lucius!" the Potions Master shouted. "Since you can't control yourself, I'm going to remove temptation from you." His eyes warmed as they came to rest on Hermione. "Why don't you go back to your room now?" He cupped her cheek in his hand, brushing his thumb lightly across her lips. "I'll see you in class tomorrow."

"Sure," Hermione said, relieved to be getting away from Lucius. "Goodnight, Severus." On impulse, she pressed a kiss to his thumb.

Severus's eyes flared. And he had just been lecturing Lucius on self control. He cleared his throat before he spoke. "Go straight to the dorm," he requested before he reluctantly removed his hands from her. He didn't want her to be out roaming the hallways when Lucius left his apartment.

"Goodnight, Severus," she murmured. She darted a glance at Malfoy. "Goodnight, Lucius."

"I would ask you for a kiss too, but Severus would have an apoplexy."

Severus mentally performed Avada Kedavra.

Hermione scurried out of the room.

"The young ones are always the sweetest," Lucius murmured, watching Hermione with predatory eyes as she left the room.

Severus looked disdainfully at the lecher in front of him but was really disgusted with himself. He despised Lucius' jaded desires, but was he really any better? Hermione wasn't underage but she was no less innocent. He always considered the student/teacher relationship to be, in many ways, sacrosanct. While he didn't feel that many of his students earned that type of commitment from him, Hermione was a rare exception. And how was he repaying her faith in him? By giving into her novice seduction attempt without even putting up a real protest. She was so young, she probably didn't realize the full implications.

He looked at Lucius, who was now running his hand over his cane in a manner Snape was not at all comfortable with. No, he wasn't like Lucius. He would never use a cane to - well, he would never own a cane, now. Never. Ever. He glanced away from the elder Malfoy.

Severus cleared his throat. "What did you come here to tell me, Lucius?"

Lucius resumed his seat with a wide smile. "How uncivilized of you, Severus. You won't share your toys and you haven't even offered me a drink."

"I surmised by the alcohol content of your breath that you had already partaken." Severus glared at him but finally nodded. "I could use a drink myself."

* * *

'Wanna be bad?' Draco's words echoed in Harry's ears. He crossed his arms over his chest, and regarded the blond from beneath a thick fringe of ebony lashes. Draco swallowed the hitch in his breathing at the sultry look. Slowly, Harry looked Draco up and down, taking in the sleek muscles, narrow hips, wide shoulders, chiseled facial features and finally the sinfully carved mouth. Grinning, Harry looked him in the eye. "What did you have in mind?"

Draco raised an eyebrow. "Well, first I was hoping for a ride on your Firebolt." Harry coughed, hiding a grin. "Not that one, Potter."

"Right then." Harry gestured with the aforementioned broom. "Shall we?"

Together, they walked out of the dungeons, through the Great Hall and out onto the grounds. Harry climbed on his broom, letting it hover just off the ground, tucking his feet under and gave Malfoy a questioning look. Draco walked over to him and with a hand splayed between his shoulder blades, pushed him further up the broom. "Move over, Hero. I'm driving."

Malfoy slid onto the broom in front of Harry, his legs brushing the back of Draco's thighs. Draco leaned back, his broad shoulders resting against Harry's muscled chest, shivering as he felt Harry's breath on the back of his neck. He wrapped his hands around the broom and they took to the air. Harry reached his arms around Malfoy to grip the broom as well. Harry resisted the urge to control the movements of the broom, but found it near impossible.

"Stop that, Hero." Suddenly, Malfoy's hands slid over his, removing them from the broom. He placed Harry's hands on his waist. Then increased the speed of their flight. "Hold on."

Harry rested his chin on Malfoy's shoulder, peering ahead of them into the night. His fingers lightly dug into Draco's sides and he found the position not unpleasant, though rather unsettling. Malfoy seemed to be intent on seeing what the broom could do, and sent them into a deep dive, chuckling softly at Harry's gasp before pulling up. "Stop breathing in my ear, Potter. It's distracting."

"Are you ticklish, Malfoy?" He ran his hands lightly up and down the other boy's ribs, feeling the muscles jerk under his fingertips.

"No. Quit trying to feel me up, Hero," Draco answered harshly. "And quit trying to distract me before we both end up in the lake."

Harry frowned, wishing he could push or punch Draco, but that would only end up in them both crashing. An idea for revenge came. Smiling wickedly, he turned his face into Draco's neck, letting his lips brush Draco's ear, whispering in parseltongue,_ "So sorry."_

"Yeah, well - " Draco's words faded into a drawn out hiss as Harry's teeth closed over his earlobe gently. "P-potter!"

_"Yessss?"_ Harry hissed in parseltongue. He could feel a tremor go through Draco. Languidly he sucked on the skin just behind his ear for a moment and then ran his tongue along the shell of his ear. He let his fingers rub soft circles on Draco's hips. Draco moaned softly.

"Stop that!" Draco insisted.

"Why?" Harry asked innocently. He let one hand slide forward, gripping Draco's thigh. _"You know you like it."_

"For Merlin's sake, Hero!" Draco groaned, rolling his head to the side as Harry continued to kiss his neck.

_"You asked if I wanted to be bad,"_ Harry pointed out, biting down on blue vein and sucking slightly.

"Exactly. I didn't ask if you wanted to shag," Draco shot back out as he landed.

"Point taken." Harry pulled back, swinging himself off the broom. "But then there's nothing bad about how I do that."

"Who are you and what have you done with Potter?" Draco asked, feet now firmly on the ground, but knees still shaking.

"What are we doing back here again?" Harry looked around, ignoring the question. There were back in the little spot by the lake where Draco had first kissed him.

In reply, Draco grabbed his hand, instinctively entwining their fingers and pointed his wand skyward. "Lumos!" The wand blazed too light, forcing both boys to avert their eyes for a moment. "This place is special."

"Aw, Draco, you hopeless sap," teased Harry.

"Keep dreaming, Hero." His silver eyes flashed. "Particularly about me."

Harry flushed. "How did you - I mean, I don't - "

"Save your breath, Hero." Malfoy grinned. "You talk in your sleep."

"Let's cut to the chase." Harry started blushing more brightly.

"I thought we already had . . ." Malfoy smiled under his breath.

"Why are we here?" Harry narrowed his eyes at him, suddenly realizing they were still holding hands. Quickly he let go, stuffing his hands into his pocket.

"Right then." Malfoy gave him an amused look as he gestured with his newly freed hand. "Like I was saying, this place is special. My father cloaked it. Nobody will know what we do here, what spells we cast or how we cast them and no one can find us."

"I could," Harry murmured, looking around with new eyes.

"Well, so could I, as we are both here," Draco said, exasperated. "The point being that people who are not here can't find us."

"That's not what I meant." Harry reached into an inner pocket in his robe and pulled out the Marauder's Map. He wasn't sure if he wanted to share it with Malfoy, but he was too curious about whether he could find them on the map to resist. "I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

"I'll alert the Daily Prophet," Malfoy snorted. But his curiosity was peaked, and he leaned over Harry's shoulder, shining his wand on the paper. His eyes widened as the map revealed its secrets. Harry skimmed briefly over the castle, turning quickly to the lake. He pointed to two dots so close they almost seemed to be one, labeled 'H. J. Potter' and 'D. S. Malfoy.' "Holy Merlin! That's us . . . and the rest of Hogwarts!"

"Yeah." Harry quickly rolled the scroll up, forgetting to erase it in his haste.

"What else you got hidden in those robes, Potter?" Draco smirked at him.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Harry returned. "So, like I said, I could find us."

"Trust me, Hero, you're the only one," Malfoy stated.

"Wait, are you saying we're cloaked from the Ministry here?" Harry thought back to what Malfoy had said.

"That's right, Potter." Draco's lips twitched with amusement. "Let me know when you finish catching up."

"You want to . . . cast spells," Harry said slowly.

"Very good." Draco sighed impatiently. "Isn't that what you were talking about at the breakfast table yesterday? Or did you have something more intimate in mind?"

"And you don't want anyone to know," Harry added. "Dark spells?"

"Maybe." Draco grinned, stepping closer. "The point is, I want to cast spells . . . with you."

"How sweet," Harry mocked. "You could at least buy me dinner first."

"C'mon, Hero. Aren't you the least bit interested to see what we can do?" Malfoy's voice held an air of anticipation and wanting.

Harry remained silent for a moment, considering. He almost felt like he was still dreaming. Hanging out with Malfoy, kissing . . .it was all so . . .surreal. Harry shrugged. "In for a knut - in for a galleon."

"I'll take that as a 'yes'". Draco purred.

"Take it however you want it, Malfoy," Harry shot back.

"I'll keep that in mind." Draco smirked. "Well then, come a little closer, Hero."

"Haven't I gotten close enough?" But, Harry took a step closer to Malfoy. "What should we start with?"

"Something simple, maybe . . . work up to the hard stuff . . ." Draco mused, worrying his lower lip, a line appearing between his eyes.

Harry hid his smile. He often saw that expression on Draco's face in potions when he was concentrating. Harry frowned, wondering where the fond memory had come from. 'You're losing it, Potter,' he thought to himself.

"Losing what?" Draco asked, looking up.

"What? I didn't say anything." Harry looked startled. Had he said that out loud, or was Draco actually able to hear his thoughts? He decided to distract him and think about it later. "How about a levitation? That's pretty simple."

* * *

Ron stared at the Slytherin portrait. "I just need to give something to Harry Potter. I don't even want to go in!"

"No!" Paranoid Pete said, eyeing him suspiciously. "As soon as I open up, you'll go racing in and try to discover all of our secrets."

"Honestly!" Ron said, rolling his eyes. "All I want to do is get this to Harry."

"I bet!" Paranoid Pete cried, "He's a former Gryffindor. He's probably a spy. That's what your doing with the book - you want to pass SECRET INFORMATION!"

"Pete, let him through," Hermione said, coming on to the scene.

"Hermione!" Ron said, grinning at her. "Thank goodness."

"What's the password?" Pete snapped.

"Sneaky snake," she repeated dutifully and the passageway was revealed. "What brings you to Slytherin's dorm anyway?" she asked curiously as they both went through.

"I have a diary for Harry," Ron said, holding up the manuscript.

"I think he already has one." Hermione frowned.

"Not this one." Ron smiled smugly. He turned to look at Hermione. Her hair was slightly mussed, her lips were swollen and her eyes were a little too bright, like she was ready to cry. "Are you alright there, Hermione?"

"Yes . . . no . . . I don't know." She finally sighed. "Do you ever find yourself in a situation where you thought you knew what to do so you did it and it worked, but then it didn't, because Malfoy ruined everything, so you thought maybe you should rethink what you thought you should do in the first place?"

Ron looked a little puzzled. He hadn't really understood what she said, so he grasped onto the one part that made sense. "Well, Malfoy usually does ruin everything."

Hermione started to sniffle, her eyes welling up with tears. Ron did what any teenage boy would do. He panicked.

"Oh, don't cry! Please don't cry!" He hugged her and Hermione started to cry in earnest. "It's ok. I'll get Malfoy for you!" She chuckled and cried at the same time, almost choking. "Wait, wait - I have an idea!"

"You do?" She sniffed, pulling back to look up at him.

"Yeah! Whenever I'm upset and confused, I know exactly where to go!" Ron grinned. "And I always feel better later, maybe a little hungry, but better."

Hermione looked at him curiously.

"Let's go visit Hazel." Ron smiled. He had planned on going there after delivering Harry's 'present' anyway. "It'll be . . . relaxing."

* * *

Lucius held his glass of brandy aloft, a bit of it splashed onto the carpet because his hand was unsteady. "To the Dark Lord," he toasted.

"Sycophant," Snape muttered under his breath but he obligingly lifted his glass and then brought it to his mouth. "What have you planned?"

"Can't two old friends sit by the fireplace and enjoy a glass of brandy before talking business?" Lucius chastised. "Have you forgotten all the niceties?"

Severus stared at him.

"If you insist on being churlish, I'll floo out of here with your brandy. I only stopped by out of . . . respect for you."

Severus took in another mouthful of brandy. If he was forced to spend much more time with Lucius, he might have to drain the whole decanter. "Fine, prattle away."

Lucius settled back in his chair. "How is Draco doing in class?"

"He has top marks in all of his classes."

"Yes, well, school's only been in a session for a couple of days," Lucius said disdainfully. "That's to be expected."

"Draco always has top marks," Severus snapped. He despised the way Lucius treated his son. If he didn't know better, he'd swear the older man was jealous. He had on several occasions wished that he could take custody of Draco.

"Higher than your . . . what do you call her? Girlfriend? Lover?" Lucius questioned with a smirk. "Toy?"

"Miss Granger represents the very pinnacle of academic achievement . . . no one's marks are as good as hers. However, that doesn't mean that Draco's aren't exemplary."

"It just means that my heir was bested by Mudblood," Lucius said bitterly, taking a sip of brandy.

Severus ignored the slur. "Draco's grades are much better than your's were, If I recall correctly," he rejoined.

Lucius glared. "And what of his . . . social engagements?"

Severus knew he was asking about Draco's love life. Lucius disapproved of his son's bisexuality . . . as if being a pedophile was more appropriate. "I make it a rule to not get involved in my student's romantic attachments."

"Unless, of course, they're attached to you," Lucius replied, toasting him. He traced the rim of his glass with a finger. "Tell me about her, Severus."

"What did you come here to tell me?" Severus prodded. He had no intention of feeding Lucius' perverse lusts by discussing Hermione with him.

"Very well, if you're going to keep badgering me about it . . ." Lucius began with resignation. "I've always though the student body needed to be thinned out a bit . . . don't you?"

Severus filled his glass once more. He was weary of the other man's propensity for cat and mouse games. "And?"

Lucius drained his glass. "We're sending a little raiding party to the school tomorrow night." He smiled, then. "We need at least thirteen Mudbloods for a ritual."

"The Dominion Spell?" Severus asked sharply.

Lucius nodded. "All those years of burying your nose in a book finally payed off, eh?" He took another drink. "Yes, Lord Voldemort is going to increase his power by bleeding them and offering their lives to the dark forces."

"That would nearly double his power," Severus said thoughtfully. He needed to warn Dumbeldore. "What time should I expect you?"

"After midnight," Lucius answered, his eyes drooping a bit under the weight of all the alcohol he'd consumed. "It should be quite a party. Why don't you and your toy join us?"

"How will you get past Hogwart's defenses?" Severus asked tightly.

"Wait and see," Lucius said with a laugh. "I'm going to be in on it," he bragged. "I haven't done this in years," Lucuis said wistfully. "Do you remember when we used to go to the Dark Revels, Severus? I miss those days. The blood rites, the torture . . . its nice to get back to your roots."

"Where are you starting the attack?" Severus remembered only too well. That's why he needed to stop this.

"Gryffindor Tower," Lucius answered, a lecherous smile on his face. He tipped his glass up to the firelight. It appeared as if the flames danced in the amber liquid. "Just think of it, Severus . . . all of those lovely little girls."

* * *

Harry looked into Draco's silver eyes. They seemed to be swirling with power and emotion. Their matched breathing came in short pants. Harry felt icy cold, but Draco's high cheekbones were splashed with brilliant heat. Both hands entwined, their knuckles stood out in white relief.

Harry glanced at the ground, twenty feet below. "Ready to come down?"

"Never." Draco grinned wolfishly.

For the past hour they had been levitating everything around them, first with wands, then with a swish of hand and a jointly whispered, "Wingardium Levioso." Now, holding hands and concentrating, they had levitated themselves. Silently, their eyes met and they slowly floated towards the ground. Harry pulled his hands away, still staring at Draco, who looked at him as if to say, 'Well, Hero?'

"That was wicked," Harry whispered. He loved to fly, and the idea that he could do so without a broomstick delighted him. He wrapped his arms around himself, shivering uncontrollably. "But I'm freezing."

"I'm on fire." Draco looked him in the eye as he unfastened the top three buttons on his shirt. He commanded hungrily,"Come here, Hero."

Harry slowly walked forward. Draco reached out, hands gripping Harry's waist and pulled him up hard against his hips. Harry gasped. Draco's skin was heated and nearly burned him wherever they touched. Draco sighed as Harry's icy cool body came into contact with his own. Harry reached up, sliding his hands through Draco's hair, reveling in the comforting warmth. "That was kind of - "

Draco's lips covered Harry's as he whispered into his mouth, "Intense?"

"Mmm-hmm." Harry kissed him back, slowly, relishing the heat of Draco's mouth against his own. He licked Draco's lower lip in an echo of Draco's earlier kiss, and tenderly, thoroughly explored his mouth. Draco made a low sound in the back of his throat, half protest and half longing, moving his body rhythmically against Harry's. Harry pulled back to ask him if he was ok. And promptly spotted a very large spider creeping towards. His eyes flashed.

"Harry, what - " Draco sounded dazed.

But Harry had already pulled his wand. He stepped back quickly, moving on pure instinct, and grabbed Draco's hand. Without thought, he pointed the wand over Draco's shoulder. "Avada Kedavra!"

The spider fell to the ground, still. Harry tilted his head back, smiling in satisfaction. Draco spun, still clutching Harry's hand and saw the spider. He turned back to Harry, eyes wide.

Suddenly, Harry realized what he had done and he started to shake. He tried to pull his hand out of Draco's, but Malfoy just used it to tug him close once more, wrapping an arm around his waist and turning them to face the dead spider. Harry's voice lowered as he said, "I didn't mean to."

"Look at you, casting the killing curse." Draco whispered, his lips brushing Harry's ear. "Knew you had it in you, Hero."

* * *

An hour later, Severus and Lucius had consumed the rest of Snape's brandy. They were still situated in front of the fireplace. Severus knew all the details of the attack and they'd be ready for them. He just needed to sober up before he told Dumbledore.

"You should leave, Lucius," Snape said as he attempted to sit up. His legs weren't cooperating, however. It wasn't the first time Lucius had shown up at his home drunk, although it was the first time he'd joined him in imbibing. Severus loathed losing control over himself . . . or a situation.

The other man's eyes were shut. "I'm going to stay with you," he said sleepily.

"No, you're not. I only have one bed . . . and you're not welcome in it." He stood up and started to make his way to his room.

"Why does everyone think I'm trying to get in their bloody knickers?" Lucius asked, thoroughly confused. He followed Severus down the hall, holding on to the wall for support.

"Because you are."

"Oh, right . . . well, that makes sense then, " Lucius replied.

"So, off you go, then," Severus said. "I have important things to do."

"Ah, yes. Passing out."

"Yes, and I'm not going to do it around you." Severus rubbed at his blurry eyes. "There's no telling what you'd do to me."

"You're a bit old for my tastes," Lucius sniffed.

"Oh, I'm too old to molest but not too old to be observed?" Severus opened the door to find Lockhart's book lying on his counterpane . . . which was now powder blue. His eyes bulged. His entire bedroom had been given a Gilderoy pastel make-over. There were matching bed curtains and a . . . dear Merlin . . . a dust ruffle as well. All of his wrought iron furniture had been gilded. There were pink rugs on every part of the floor. Several of Severus' old school photos were framed on the wall now. He was scowling and pointing a finger at Sheldon in all of them.

"How?!" He gestured to the bed. "Why?!" He pointed to the floor. "PINK!!"

"Ta da!" Sheldon leapt to his feet and gave an exaggerated bow. "As the Mascot of Evil, I have taken on the task of redecorating your room. As Evil's Head of House, you needed a much more villainous bedchamber."

"Good show," Lucius nodded with satisfaction. "Not sure I agree with the entire color scheme but the rest of it is vastly improved."

Severus glared at his old friend and enemy.

"Well, really, Severus, you swoop about looking like a funeral director. You should incorporate some color into your life." Lucius crossed his arms over his chest.

Severus was visibly trembling from a mixture of rage and shock. "I'm going to kill you!" he said to the Book.

Sheldon sighed with appreciation. "Isn't he the evilest?" he said to Lucius.

"No, he's seldom evil. I'd say he's just kind of naughty," Lucius said dryly.

Severus took a step to the right to put more distance between them. The last thing he wanted was Lucius thinking he was 'naughty'. "I'm not taking my clothes off around you, Lucius. Stop trying."

"Speaking of, did you get him some new clothes too?" Lucius asked curiously.

Severus turned to the book, eyes blazing. "So help me, if you touched my robes, I'll-"

"He is too evil!" Sheldon disputed. "Professor Snape's already handed down two death threats."

"I'm clearly more evil than Severus," Lucius insisted, affronted.

At this point, Severus had thrown open his wardrobe and was relieved to find that all of his clothing was still as black and billowing as it had been that morning.

"You? Your hair is way too shiny for you to be evil." The Book said disdainfully. Sheldon stared down at his shoes. "And those don't match your outfit. Evil is always color coordinated."

Lucius gasped in outrage.

Severus reached over and picked the book up by a corner gingerly. "If you enter my chambers again, I'm going to use every single Unforgivable curse on you. Do you understand me? Every single one!"

"Wow!" The Book crowed. "What a threat!" He looked at Lucius. "You didn't think of that, did you?"

Lucius had thought of a comeback for the earlier remark by then. "It's easy to be color-coordinated if everything you own is black!"

Severus shoved Sheldon into Lucius' hands. "Here, take this and get out."

Lucius looked down at the book with a bemused expression. "We shall see who is more evil."

"Yes, we shall!" Sheldon said, tugging viciously on a handful of Malfoy's hair.

"Bloody hell!" Lucius roared, dropping the Book to place a hand on his aching scalp.

"Bwahahahaaa!!" The Book danced a jig in front of the door. "You'll never be more evil than me! Or him!" Sheldon ran out of the room cackling.

Severus smiled . . . one pest gone. He turned to Lucius. "Leave."

"Fine, I'll just go say hello to my son." Lucius turned towards the front door and staggered towards it. "And make sure you come tomorrow night. Bring the Granger girl with you."

Severus sobered up a bit at that thought. "We'll be ready for you."

* * *

Ron and Hermione found Hazelheart sitting on a large rounded stool about the size of a table in the Hufflepuff Common Room. The place closely resembled a jungle. There were plants of every size, shape and description. There were hanging plants on the ceilings, huge potted plants were in every corner and several were scattered on every single table. Some of them had a very strange but not unpleasant odor. The floor was covered in straw mats and a couple of students were seated crosslegged on them. Several trays of incense burned in the room as well, giving it a smokey, herbal smell. There were beaded curtains on the windows that partially obscured the sunlight. Hermione recognized some Muggle lava lamps on a couple of the end tables.

Haze blinked a couple of times as he saw them. "Woah! I didn't know you two were in Hufflepuff."

"We're not, Haze," Ron explained patiently. "We just came to see you."

"Well, cool," Haze said, extending a paw. "Cop a squat."

They took that to mean that they should sit down on the large stool with him. It was made of a spongy green fabric that reminded Hermione of a large toadstool.

Next to Haze was a large piece of glassware with a small hose attached. He was smoking on the end of it.

"Thanks," Hermione said, feeling a bit more relaxed already. Ron was right about this place. It was very calming. She shot a look over at the red head, but his eyes were closed and he seemed to be breathing in, very deeply.

"How's it going, dudes?" Haze asked, settling back a little

"Alright." Ron smiled, leaning on his elbows.

"Hermione, how are you, dudette?" Haze smiled at her, slowly.

"Alright, I guess . . ." she trailed off. She didn't feel nearly as upset as before, but she was still disappointed. "I have this problem . . . "

"S'ok . . . you can tell me." Haze coaxed. "We don't judge in Hufflepuff. We just love."

Hermione leaned forward, biting her lip a little. "There's something that I want, and I couldn't get it, but then I thought I was going to get it, but something happened and I didn't."

"I see." Haze inhaled and exhaled thoughtfully. "Well, the way I see it, you got what you wanted. Now, you just have to chill out, y'know? Until it's the right time to have it." He leaned forward, forehead creasing with the profundity of his thoughts. "Sometimes I want to do something, but it's not the right time. So I have to wait, until it is the right time. And then . . ." he paused for emphasis. "It is the right time and I can do it. You have to chill . . . go with the flow."

"I think I get what you're saying," Hermione said slowly, leaning against Ron on the stool, who was now dozing with a pleasant smile on his face. "I have to wait, but I still get what I want." Somehow, this seemed like a very complex thought.

"Yeah . . . it's all about timing." Haze blew a smoke ring in the air, and Hermione giggled. "So, how's Harry?"

"He's great, I guess." Hermione was starting to feel really mellow. She frowned. She didn't think there was anything wrong with Harry. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, I saw him with Draco the other day - "

"And?" She replied lazily, poking her finger through various smoke rings that came her way.

Hazel frowned, remembering his deal with professor Snape not to say anything. "Well, I saw . . . they were . . . and then . . . bam! And I was kinda wondering . . ."

"Oh!" Hermione's cheeks blazed a little. "Yeah, Harry and Malfoy . . . that's weird, huh?"

"You already know about that?" Haze's eyes widened. "Woah . . . you're like psychic or something."

"Nah," she laughed. "I've seen them do it before." Then she laughed. "Well, you know not . . . everything."

"With the . . ." Haze made a gesture with his paws. "And then the . . ." his eyes widened and he held his paws far apart. "And then with the yelling and the - "

"I know all about it," Hermione dismissed.

Haze nodded, he had been a little concerned about his friend, Harry. He spent too much of his life stressed out in Haze's opinion. Obviously Hermione knew about the joined magic thing, and it was under control. Now, he could relax again. He shifted positions and blew a smoke "H" at Hermione.

She giggled.

* * *

Lucius closed Severus' door behind him. He was distracted from his thoughts by a familiar hissing sound at his feet. He rose one manicured brow. "If it isn't the Slytherin mascots."

_"Look, Snippy, its Luci-yuck,"_ Snarky said making a face at the blond man. They had finally managed to stop floating that morning. _"All right, first and second year girls, back to the dorm!"_ the little snake called. _"And lock your doors!"_

_"Que pasa, pervert?"_ Snippy called.

Lucius extended his cane to the animals, expecting them to hop on it. While he didn't particularly like them, one had to be polite to one's mascots. After all, they were the Dark Lord's chosen symbol. "Well?"

_"Nuh-uh, no way,"_ Snippy and Snarky cried in unison as they backed up.

_"We don't know where that's been,"_ Snippy said, crinkling up his face.

Lucius tried again but they continued to back up.

_"Well, we probably do and that's why we don't wanna touch it!" _Snarky stated.

_"What do you want with us, Luci-yuck?"_ Snippy asked, beginning to be afraid. _"Should we run for it?"_

_"No means no, Malfoy!"_ Snarky said, twitching his tail angrily.

_"Yeah, what part of 'no' don't you understand? The 'n' or the 'o'?" _Snippy jeered.

Snarky turned to his fellow serpent. _"Quick, think of a distraction!"_

_"Y'know, Malfoy,"_ Snippy said coyly. _"Though we'll never be interested, if you catch Haze at the right moment, he might not object."_

_"Hell, he probably won't even notice!"_ Snarky added. _"Watch out though, he might shoot that green shit at you!"_

Snippy turned to Snarky. _"That'd be pretty sweet."_

"C'mon, then. Climb on the stick," Lucius tried to coax them. "You know you want to."

_"Uh, no . . . we really don't. Keep your stick to yourself, pervert!"_ cried Snippy, alarmed. The two serpents were now cornered against a wall. _"Get away!" _

Snarky glared at the blond man. _"And now we're trapped in the corner like a second year girl after Luci-yuck has been in the brandy."_

Snippy hissed at him. _"Decided to add another perversion to the long list, eh?"_

_"Well . . . you can't touch this!"_ Snarky shouted. He was about to do the accompanying shimmy, but he was afraid it would be too provocative for Lucius to resist.

_"Yeah, I wish we had a real hammer or at least some baggy pants to hide in!" _

"Fine, I'll just have to pick you up myself," Lucius said resignedly.

_"Oh god, NOOOO!"_ Snippy yelled. _"He's going to touch ussss!"_

_"Snaaaape! Hiney!!"_ Snarky shot a look at the blond man. _"NOT YOUR HINEY! Harry! Harry, help!"_ Snarky began to scream in a panic. _"Sssave usss!"_

_"DRACO!!"_ Snippy hollered, trying to slither over Malfoy's hands as he reached for him. _"Godammit, pervert! We said 'no!' "_

_"You superfreak!" _Snarky curled his tail around Snippy, trying to pry him from Lucius's grasp. _"Let go of Snippy! Let go, I said!"_

_"Run, run away, Snarky! It's too late for me! But you can save yourself . . ."_ he trailed off as Malfoy successfully managed to scoop them both up and place them on his shoulders.

_"What do we do now?" _Snarky cried. _"You think he just wants us as an accessory to the pimp cane?"_

_"Maybe."_ For a moment, they both opened their mouth in a parody of the snake cane, which they both agreed was extremely accurate, but soon decided they were too exposed that way.

_"I don't know what's in more danger! My mouth or my tail! Which way do I turn, Snippy? What do we do?"_

_"If you find yourself too close to any orifice, you bite, Snarky! Bite hard, and don't look too closely at what your chomping on!"_ Snippy ordered, trying to coil himself in a way that protected head and tail.

"Are you cold?" Lucius frowned. That wouldn't do. He attempted to pull them closer to his neck, under his hair to warm them up, but they kept squirming away.

_"Ewww . . . stop it! We are not impressed by your superior conditioning and high-gloss shine!"_ Snarky leaned far to the left.

_"If you don't stop it, I'm going to pull your hair!"_ Snippy threatened.

_"Help!"_ Snarky thought about biting into his neck, and then was afraid Lucius would think he was trying to give him a hickey. _"HELLLLLLP!"_

"What in the bloody hell is all that racket - Father!" Draco stopped suddenly as he rounded the corner, on his way to speak to Professor Snape.

_"Hey, Draco! Look at us! Who do we look like?"_ They both posed, mouths open as if hissing, on each of Lucius shoulders, attempting to gesture at the 'tainted love' cane with their tails.

They both came out of their poses then . . . after all, this was a serious matter. _"Draco! We need your help,"_ Snippy hissed. _"We're about to be violated!"_

Draco covered his grin with a cough, trying to appear serious. He stood up straighter, and looked at his dad. His father moved closer to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. Draco felt Lucius bracing his weight, and scented brandy on him.

"Hello, Draco."

"Hello, Father," he said respectfully. Antagonizing his father after he had _that _much to drink was a bad idea, a lesson he had learned well. Snarky took the opportunity to slither across the bridge of Lucius's arm to safety.

_"Phew!"_ He wiped his forehead with his tail. _"Now you, Snippy! C'mon, you can do it!"_

_"I can't! I'm afraid to go behind his head . . . I don't want to get too close!"_ Snippy cringed.

"Father - you appear to have a snake on your shoulder." Draco pointed out, wondering just what his father was doing there.

"And so do you, son," Lucius pointed out, trying to figure out how the snake had gotten from him to Draco through a drunken haze.

_"Please, Draco, don't let him take me!"_ Snarky cowered behind Draco's neck. _"Please, man! If you have any shred of human decency at all . . ."_

_"Geronimo!"_ Snippy leapt off the six-foot man's shoulder to the dusty floor below. Quickly, he slithered behind Draco's shoe, trying desperately to grasp part of his robe in his fangs and hide behind it. _"Did he see me?"_

_"Superfreak! He's a superfreak!"_ Snarky danced back and forth, adding, _"He's superfreaky!"_

_"Pervert!"_ Snippy called, before quickly ducking back behind Draco's robes.

Snarky scowled at the blond man. _"Great. Now we have to shed our skins to get rid of Luci-yuck germs."_

_"Too bad we couldn't do it on his shoe,"_ Snippy said thoughtfully. _"But he might take that as an invitation."_

_"Alright, Snippy, let's sneak away. Very, very quietly now . . . and remember, avoid the cane . . ." _

Draco bit his lip, and finally faked a coughing fit to cover his laughter as the snakes slithered away down the hall.

"Aren't you supposed to be in Gryffindor Tower?" Lucius sneered, seeming to be sobering up a bit.

"I was just working on a little extra credit project for Professor Snape," Draco replied tightly.

"A Malfoy doesn't need extra credit to get good marks," his father instructed, swaying slightly.

"Unless they're trying to overcome another Malfoy's reputation." Draco crossed his arms over his chest. "Did you come here to see me or am I just attracting bad luck today?"

"Stopped by to see Snape." Lucius frowned, narrowing his eyes in an attempt to stop his double vision. "And his new pet."

"And his new bottle of brandy, eh, Father?" Draco sighed. He knew better than to test Lucius's patience, but he felt so angry.

"Watch your tongue, boy." Lucius scowled. He raised his cane at a threatening angle. "Your impertinence will not be tolerated."

Draco's flinch was so small that no one but Lucius would have caught it. He gave his father a mocking bow. "So sorry, Father."

"I should remove you from this school. You could take the Dark Mark early. You're not learning anything of consequence here in any case," Lucius sneered.

'That's what you think,' Draco thought darkly. "I can keep a better eye on that old fool and any resistance they form here. That was the whole point of me coming back without the Dark Mark, remember?"

"Just be very careful, Draco." Lucius glowered down at the young man, trying to control the spinning feeling in his head. "You better have something useful to report soon."

"Yes, Father." Draco couldn't keep the drawling sarcasm out of his voice. "Just make sure you can remember my report come morning."

"I don't like your tone." That was all the warning Lucius gave. He swept his cane in an arc towards Draco with bruising force.

Draco reacted quickly, childhood memories crying in his ears, as he saw the cane coming forward. He dropped to his knee, crouching back, one hand covering his face, the other stretched forward in front of him. "Expelliarmous!"

He heard two soft thuds and then the hall was silent. Rising to his feet, he surveyed the scene in front of him with a sickening drop in his stomach. His father's cane lay cracked in half against the wall of the hallway. His father was sprawled on the floor, at his feet, unconscious. His chest heaved and his mind raced as he tried to figure out what to do. He turned, running down the hall towards the Slytherin Rooms.

And promptly ran into one Harry Potter. Harry's hands automaticall reached out to grasp Draco's shoulders as they bumped into each other. "Draco!"

"Hero, I need you," Draco whispered urgently.

"Draco, this is so sudden." Harry laughed but then took in Draco's shaken appearance, and tightened his grip on Draco's shoulders to steady him. "What's wrong? What happened?"

Draco grabbed his wrist and pulled him down the hall, back towards his father. He gestured frantically to the passed out man and broken cane. "I - I didn't mean to."

"It's alright." Harry kneeled down and checked Lucius's pulse. "He's fine - just passed out." He turned to look at him. "What happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Draco muttered. He walked over and picked up his father's cane, a piece in each hand, vaguely wishing he could break it in half again.

"Mobilicorpus!" Lucius's body lifted into the air. "Where should we put him?"

"Slytherin Common Room," Draco replied tightly. "They're used to him sleeping it off there." His father had ruined endless weekend visits and conferences.

They walked through the halls, into the Slytherin room and deposited Lucius on a leather couch. Draco resisted the urge to throw the broken cane at him. Harry took it out of his hands. "Repairo!"

Draco refused to take it back and Harry set it on the floor next to the couch. Draco walked over to the other couch. "Good night, Hero."

"Are you going to sleep down here?" Harry stood in the center of the room, arms crossed over his chest.

"Not letting him stay here alone," Draco replied.

"You don't have to stay on the couch." Harry bit his lip. "You're welcome to stay in my room, tonight."

"Can I take that how I want it, as well?" Draco asked, remembering Harry's earlier boldness.

"Come upstairs and find out." Harry's eyes flashed.

"Shouldn't you at least buy me dinner first?" Draco smirked as he followed Harry upstairs.

* * *

Hermione was seated at a rough hewn table in the middle of Hogwarts' kitchens. The room was lined with enormous stoves and magic larders. The cupboards were nearly overflowing with every sort of Wizard food imaginable. After she'd left Haze's place, she felt very hungry and had swung by for a snack. The House Elves had only been too happy to provide her with a turkey sandwich and Doritos. Apparently, Dr. Troy had stocked the castle with them. They'd also given her a thick slice of chocolate cake. Hermione shut her eyes as she ate. She couldn't remember food ever tasting this good. The bread, the mayonnaise, the cheese - all of it was wonderful, as if it were made fresh.

Hermione also felt incredibly relaxed. She felt as if she'd spent a day at the spa or something. All from visiting Haze. She made a mental note to thank him for his advice and the wonderful smokey scent in the air . . . what was it again?

"Hermione?" Severus asked, blinking. He'd come to the kitchens for a stout pot of coffee so that he could address Dumbledore. He hadn't cast any sobriety spells because they were notoriously unpredictable. He could end up being serious for the next few years . . . not that any of his students would notice a difference.

"Oh, hello, Severus . . . oops! I mean, Professor Snape." She looked around, but the elves were no where to be seen. "I guess its okay to call you by first name here."

Severus shook his head. "We can't become lax, Hermione." He frowned. "Didn't I tell you to go straight to your room?" Then, he studied his surroundings, confusion knitting his brow. "I'm not in your room, am I?"

"No, I don't have food in my room. Snakes ate it. And yes you told me to go there but I got distracted by Ron. S'okay now," she mumbled as she bit into her sandwich.

"Ah ha!" Severus managed to focus on the large coffee pot and staggered over to it. Thankfully, it was all set to brew coffee in the morning and he just had to wave his wand to turn it on. He sank into a chair beside her. "And what did you and Mr. Weasley do?"

"We went to see Haze," she answered. "I really like him. He's a very wise badger, you know." She laughed as if it were a joke.

Severus was charmed by her girlish giggle. She seemed to create her own gravitational pull - at least where he was concerned. He nearly tipped over his chair because he was leaning forward too far. "Hermione, I have to ask you something very important . . . have you been inhaling any illegal substances?"

"Nope!" She gave him a pearly smile. "Have you?"

"Of course not." He seemed shocked at the very suggestion. "I've only had a bit of brandy."

Hermione leaned forward and sniffed him. "You've been drinking more than a bit. I can smell it on your breath. It's kinda sweet smelling." Then, she inhaled again, deeper this time. "Mmm . . . you smell nice. Did you know that?" She took his hand in hers and pressed it against her face, burying her nose in his sleeve. "Every time I get near you, I get the urge to bury my face in your shirt." She laughed again. "Men smell good."

Severus grinned, feeling absurdly pleased . . . then he scowled. "Who else have you smelled?"

"Tonight?" she asked, her brow furrowing.

"Did you smell Lucius?"

"Nah." Hermione wrinkled her nose. "I don't wanna get that close. But, I do think he has pretty hair."

"Do you like it more than mine?" Severus asked, a little jealous. He gasped. "You don't think my hair's greasy?"

"L'il bit. I don't mind though." She dropped his hand and tugged at her own unruly curls. "Not exactly Rapunzel here."

"Who?"

"You, silly! That's who we were talking about . . . right?" Hermione asked, popping another Dorito in her mouth.

"I don't think you should be eating those," Severus said, glancing at the dayglo nacho chip.

"Don't get between me and my snack food," Hermione said, clinging to the bag of chips. "I'll flippendo you if you try."

"There's no need to get violent." Severus looked longingly over at the coffee pot which was two feet away. "It's so far away. I need to drink some but I have to walk all the way over there."

Hermione was staring at his mouth. "Will you kiss me?"

"Not in front of the elves," Severus said, quite seriously.

"But they're not in the room!" she protested, leaning forward. "I bet they're asleep."

"We really shouldn't. In the dungeons is one thing . . . but out here? In the open?"

"I'll give you a Dorito if you will." She waved an orange nacho chip at him in what she hoped was a seductive manner.

"Put that thing away, you're going to put someone's eye out. Probably mine."

"Try it!" She waggled the chip at him. "It's good."

"It's . . . orange . . . and that particular shade doesn't exist in nature." Hermione pretended the chip was an airplane and made it dive at Snape's mouth. "What the bloody hell-"

She stuffed it in his mouth.

Severus chewed and swallowed defensively. "That was horrid."

"Now, will you kiss me?" she asked hopefully. "It'll just be a quick one. I promise." Hermione said, giving him the puppy dog eyes Harry and Ron were unable to resist. "Please?"

"I don't think that . . . mpflf" Hermione leaned forward and pressed her mouth against his. Severus pulled back to look at her, a dazed smile on his lips. "You taste a little like that infernal snack food."

"Sorry," she replied, wrapping her arms around him.

"I forgive you." Severus permitted himself to enjoy another of her kisses. After the day he'd had, he really needed this. He slipped his fingers into her hair and leisurely explored her mouth. Hermione took the opportunity to move herself from her chair and on to his lap. He could gladly stay like this forever. Holding her felt so right, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Severus realized he had no willpower when it came to her but he couldn't bring himself to care.

"Professor Snape!" They both turned their heads to find Professor Dumbledore standing in the center of the room, a thunderous expression on his face. "Would you care to explain yourself?"


	18. On the Back of His Head!

**TITLE:** Trading Spaces 18/?

**RATING:** R (slash warning m/m)

**PAIRING:** HG/SS, HP/DM, HP/HG (friendship)

**Chapter Eighteen: On the Back of his Head!**

****

* * *

Draco followed Harry up to his bedchamber, his mind reeling from the events of the past half hour. He jolted at a sharp sound behind him, spinning around, but it was only Harry, leaning past him to close the door and lock it.

"I have a personal bathing chamber, if you would like to use it," Harry offered, waiting for the snide reply about trying to get Draco naked. It didn't come. Instead, Draco wearily nodded his head and walked toward the door Harry had indicated. "Let me know if you need any help, Malfoy."

Just when Harry though that Draco would ignore that comment as well, the blond turned around with a hint of his normal smirk and drawled, "You could at least call me 'Draco' while offering to shower with me."

Harry opened his mouth to reply, but wasn't sure how to respond. Draco disappeared behind the door. Harry shrugged and stepped over to his bed, feeling anxious. A smallish red volume lay on his bedspread. Curious, he picked it up. Then he frowned. "Alright, Voldemort. If you preserved your 17 year old self in here, so help me, I will lock you in a trunk with "The Blackest Magic Ever" for the rest of eternity!"

When nothing glowed or shook or started to speak to him, he felt it was safe to open the book. Scrawled elegantly on the first page were the words, "Draco Malfoy, A History". Bemused, Harry flipped another page, scanning it quickly. He looked up at the bathroom door, hearing running water. He had plenty of time for a page or two. Smiling, he stretched out on his bed and began to read.

****

* * *

Snarky slid across the floor, a tiny cowboy hat on his head. _"And I'm the real McCoy, and I'm headed out West, sucker, cuz -"_

_"I wanna be a cowboy, baby . . ."_ Snippy curled his tail into a lasso and twirled it above his head. _"With the top let back and the sunshine shinin'."_

_"Cowboy, baby."_ Snarky head nodding in beat to the song. They had just finished watching two hours of M.T.V. with Troy and Oliver and were on another candy stealing mission to Dumbledore's office.

_"Hey, Ssssnarky . . . is that Haze?"_ Snippy nodded up ahead to where the little furry creature was sitting slumped at the bottom of Dumbledore's staircase. As they watched, he sniffed and wiped a tear away with the back of one paw.

_"Haze, my man. S'up?"_ Snarky circled around to the other side of the badger.

Hazelheart looked up with damp eyes, and sniffed pitifully again.

_"Did the Book steal your Doritos again? Do you want usss to bite him?"_ Snippy offered, still bobbing his head to the song they had been singing. Well, hissing.

Haze slowly shook his head. "No. I'm a bad badger."

_"And the whole world has to answer right now, just to tell you once again - "_ Snippy slithered backwards in his best impression of a moonwalk.

_"Who's bad!"_ Snarky finished, breaking into a raspy, _"Thee, thee, thee . . ."_

_"Though, not in a molestation sort of way,"_ Snippy amended.

Hazel offered them a watery smile. "No, I'm really, really bad. I think I just got Hermione in trouble with Professor Dumbledore."

_"Really?"_ The snakes scented blood in the water. _"How?"_

"Well, she was hanging out with me, and I was just trying to get her to relax. And then, I thought she was fine, because she headed off to the kitchen to get a snack. And I was about to join her when," he paused to sniff again. "I heard Dumbledore yelling and then they all swept past me towards his office. I tried to follow them in, but he closed the door in my face! It hit my nose." He stopped to think for a moment. "It hurt." He started crying again.

_"Dumbledore yells?"_ Snippy asked.

_"He shut the door on you?"_

"Not Dumbledore. Snape."

"_Ewww . . . Ssssnape."_ Snarky hissed. Then, thoughtfully, _"Want uss to go check it out for you? Make sure everything's ok?"_

"You would do that? For me?"

Snippy and Snarky exchanged a look. A chance at first-hand scandal? Suspension of a Prefect? Expulsion? The firing of a professor? First class gossip? Snippy's eyes gleamed. _"Of coursssse. For you?"_

Snarky smiled, _"Anything."_

****

* * *

Draco leaned his head against the shower wall, letting the hot spray ease the soreness in his body. He let his breath out in a slow hiss, murmuring curses. Vulnerability was the last thing he had wanted to show Harry tonight, the last thing he had wanted to feel tonight. He had felt so powerful, when he was walking down the hallway, and his father had brought that feeling crashing down around his ears. Draco tipped his head back, letting the spray hit his face for a few minutes before reaching behind himself to turn the water off.

Wrapping a towel around his waist, he stepped in front of the mirror and ran his fingers through his damp hair. He started to call out to Harry and ask him if he had a comb, but picturing the wild shock of black hair that had become trademark of Potter's appearance, decided that it would be pointless. Harry could not possibly own a brush of any kind. With a resigned sigh, Draco stepped out of the bathroom into the bedchamber. Harry lay across his bed, reading something. Draco stepped closer, trying to get a good look at the volume in front of Harry, but the former Gryffindor quickly shut the book and whisked it under a pillow.

Turning on his side, Harry regarded Draco with a raised brow, face propped up on one hand. "Feel better?"

"Much, actually," Draco answered, though he felt as tired as he had ever been in his young life. "What were you reading?"

"Novel," Harry answered vaguely, an odd blush tinting his face.

Draco regarded him from raised eyebrows for a moment, before shrugging off the question. He would wait until Potter was asleep to discover what volume he kept under his pillow. "So, Hero. I have a favor to ask you."

"Yes?" Harry purred in a tone more suited to his Slytherin adversary than himself.

"Don't get too excited. I just wanted to borrow something to sleep in." Draco drawled mockingly, fighting the shiver from Harry's lowered voice.

Harry sat up on the edge of the bed, wordlessly handing him a stack of clothing including a fresh uniform, set of robes, pajama pants, a robe, and on top of the pile, a pair of boxers with snakes on them.

"How did you - where did you get . . . " Draco stared down at his clothes.

"Don't get your knickers in a twist, Malfoy," Harry smirked. "I asked Dobby to bring them to me."

"You've stooped to a new level, Potter. Having house elves steal people's underwear." Draco took the clothes from him.

"I'm surprised you wear underwear," Harry shot back.

"Not always." Draco met Harry's eyes as he removed his towel to dress, dropping it unceremoniously on the floor. Harry tried not to blush, and while he refused to turn around, he did stare up at the ceiling. Draco's smirk was decidedly more polished and wicked than Harry's had been.

"Done with the strip show?" Harry asked once Draco was clothed once more. The blond didn't answer. Instead he stepped forward until he stood between Harry's knees next to the bed. Harry was forced to look up to meet his eyes.

Draco smirked at him. "So, Hero, which side of the bed do you want me on?"

****

* * *

The torches on the walls sputtered and sparked as they cast shadowy shapes on the walls. Severus numbly walked down the corridor behind Dumbledore. Hermione was at his side and she kept glancing at him, her eyes beseeching but he refused to meet her gaze. Severus was busily contemplating what he would say to Dumbledore, searching for a way to adequately explain the madness that was his relationship with Hermione. Glancing at the object of his musings, the corner of his mouth twitched. She had a very serious expression on her wide-eyed face, as if she were attempting to look completely sober. She peeked over at him, finally meeting his eyes, her lower lip beginning to tremble at the displeasure clearly displayed on his countenance. He offered her a flash of an encouraging smile, and she seemed to brace herself with it.

"Fizzing Whizbee!" Dumbledore snapped, and quickly they ascended to his office. Once inside, he gestured to two chairs in front of his desk. "Have a seat."

Hermione automatically sat down, but Snape stood mulishly behind her chair, arms crossed over his chest. "I'll stand."

Dumbledore sat at his desk, peering at them without the customary twinkle in his eyes. Long moments of silence stretched out before them. It was clear that he was awaiting explanation, and none was forthcoming. Hermione fidgeted in her seat, resisting the urge to look back at Severus.

"Professor Snape, can you give me an explanation?"

Snape's lips were pressed tight together.

"I see." Dumbledore turned his gaze on Hermione. "Perhaps you would like to comment?"

"Leave her out of this," Snape said quietly. "It's not her fault."

"Obviously." Dumbledore continued to regard the two of them. "Then, Miss Granger, I think you should return to your rooms."

Hermione's lower lip started to tremble. She had never heard such a disapproving tone directed at her in her life, not even from Professor McGonagall when she had been caught at Hagrid's in her first year after curfew. "I'm s-sorry - "

"Don't. Don't apologize," Snape instructed her. "You have done nothing wrong."

"Then neither have you," Hermione insisted, stubbornly.

"I do believe I am going to have to question that statement, Miss Granger," Dumbledore said sternly, but not unkindly. Then he flicked his wand at her, and abruptly, she was back in her room. Without thinking, she ran to the door, and found herself locked in. A note appeared.

_'Miss Granger,_

_Please do not worry. You will not be held solely responsible for your actions this evening. I understand what a great burden has been placed on your young shoulders. And do not concern yourself with the welfare of Professor Snape. Please remember that your Headmaster is neither rash nor hasty._

_Albus Dumbledore'_

But what did that mean? That he wouldn't fire Snape? Or that he wouldn't do it tonight? She chewed her lower lip, feeling exhausted and wound at the same time. She tried the door again. Still locked tight. Hermione sighed, before grabbing her robe and a couple of towels. She wouldn't be able to sleep tonight, and she obviously was not getting out of her room. She would take a bath, put her faith in Dumbledore, as she always had, and try to get some sleep.

Hermione shook her head. "Seducing the Potions Master shouldn't be this hard."

****

* * *

"Do sit down, Severus. Your glaring and standing about are rather tiresome at this late hour, and the effect is quite lost on me," Dumbledore said wearily. The old man waved his wand producing a steaming pot of coffee and clean cup. "And help yourself to a cuppa while you're at it."

Snape considered for a moment. But he actually was tired of standing, and he was perfectly capable of scowling while sitting down. Not to mention, while the adrenaline had gone far to clear his head, he was not completely sober yet, and the coffee would probably help matters. As he poured, he idly wondered if he was about to get fired.

"Yes, Severus. That is a distinct possibility."

Snape scowled, as he took his seat, purposefully lounging in the chair in an indolent manner reminiscent of his favorite student.

"Your behavior was inappropriate, and I dare say, unacceptable. For a professor to take such advantage of a young, impressionable, innocent student is . . ."

_"Deliciously scandaloussss?"_ Snarky suggested wickedly as he and his serpent in crime slithered under the door and into the room, unbeknownst to it's auspicious occupants.

_"First rate gossssip?"_ Snippy offered with a salacious laugh. _"Uh-oh, Sssssnape's in tro-uble!"_

"Yes?" Snape drawled.

"Cause for unemployment," Dumbledore finished harshly. "I had expected to see at least a little remorse, Severus. If this is not the case, then perhaps you have justification to offer for your actions?"

For a few moments, Snape stared at the Headmaster as if to say 'And who are you that I should be made to justify myself?' and Dumbledore stared back, his wise eyes full of exactly who he was to command such respect. After a moment, Snape looked away, feeling slightly ashamed of himself. Despite his natural reaction to chastisement by any authority figure, probably due to this Slytherin nature, he was remorseful, to some extent, and the Headmaster had every right to demand explanation of why he was inebriated and making out with a student in the school's kitchens.

"Miss Granger and I have been forced into a relationship beyond the bounds of just student and professor -" He began.

"I am aware of that situation, Severus." Dumbledore said patiently. "However, I was under the impression that your romantic liason was a facade designed to protect a young girl from Death Eaters."

"And it is," Severus insisted.

"All evidence to the contrary." Dumbledore turned disappointed eyes on the Potions Master. "I must admit, I am completely stunned. I have no illusions about my own infallibility, but I never thought I could have so thoroughly misjudged someone."

"I have never given you reason to doubt my loyalty or regret offering me this position, when no one else would." Snape said quietly, fully aware of the risk Dumbledore had taken in admitting a former Death Eater to his staff and the sanctuary of Hogwart's.

"The abuse of power comes in many ways, Severus. Using the authority of a professor to influence the decisions of a student, particularly in this manner, is just such an abuse."

"I never abused that power!" Snape's voice rose now. "Perhaps the circumstances Hermione and I have found ourselves in have clouded my better judgement from time to time, but I did not purposefully try to seduce her! I never tried to use my influence to convince her to . . . to . . ."

_"To what?"_ Snippy perked up. _"C'mon, give up the details you slimy git!"_

"Yes, perhaps I should inquire to the extent of this relationship, before this conversation goes any further," Dumbledore said carefully.

"The extent of . . ." Snape stared at the older wizard. "What, you want locker room details?"

"I am simply asking if any - irreparable harm has been done to Miss Granger," he clarified tactfully.

Snape stared at the floor for a few moments, his mind full of images of the "hunt" at the Death Eater's Ball, and Hermione's tear stained face. Finally, his voice sounded softly. "Yes, I'm afraid there has."

Dumbledore, for the first time in Snippy and Snarky's memory looked completely taken aback. "I see."

"No, you don't see, old man." Snape replied, harshly.

_"Woah, pulling out the age insults!"_ Snarky exclaimed to his companion.

_"No good can come of this,"_ Snippy agreed, gravely.

"You sit up there in your throne like chair, overseeing the whole school, making your cryptic comments, and smiling like everything is under control. Your control," Snape continued, his voice a furious hiss. "But you are blind! You don't see the Death Eater's meetings. You don't see the pain meted out by that power junkie of a snake!"

_"Who? Us?"_ Snarky asked.

_"No -- Tom! Now, hush, this is getting good!"_ Snippy admonished.

"You didn't see how brave and grown up she was when faced with Lucius and his flock of cowering, lecherous cronies!" Snape continued, ignoring the _'thee, thee, thee . . .'_ sound behind him. "You have no idea what she's capable of. You have no idea what she's gone through since coming to this school! You can't imagine the fear that eats at you as you wonder which person you love is next. But I do. And if there is some measure of comfort, some measure of strength, I can lend her, in whatever form she needs it, I will do so!

"There are things that you can't control - and I'm one of them. And you can't fire me." Snape stood up, glaring at Headmaster. "You and your precious order need me too much, and if you fired me it would be my the end of my usefulness. To both sides. And it would mean my death. And then Hermione's. And I know you, Albus. You couldn't do that."

Dumbledore regarded him from calm eyes, inclining his head slightly in acknowledgment.

"So, maybe you should remember just who you're talking to, and what I am capable of." For a second, Severus looked every inch the dark wizard, as he stood and headed towards the door. Opening it, he turned back. "And don't waste my time with idle threats."

****

* * *

Harry stared at Draco, his mouth suddenly gone dry. "I - uh, well, I -"

"Articulate as ever, Potter," Draco sneered at him, though the malice formerly present in his insults was absent. The blonde leaned over Harry, flattening a hand across his chest, pushing the green-eyed boy down against the mattress, and in a graceful, fluid moment, straddled his hips. His mouth a breath from Harry's, he whispered, "Right then. I prefer the inside."

Harry fought the impulse to lean up and complete that kiss. He was about to give in, when another lithe movement had Draco stretched out beside him, next to the wall. Harry felt briefly bereft at the removal of the former Slytherin's body heat.

"So," Harry said hesitantly, "do you want to talk?"

Draco's steely eyes smouldered as he propped his head on his hand to regard Harry. "No, Hero. I most definitely do NOT want to 'talk.'"

"Draco - "

"Shut up, Hero." Draco's mouth descended on Harry's, sweeping across his lips with a searing caress. It was an invasion, and Harry surrendered fully, opening his mouth under Draco's insistent kiss, moaning low in his throat. Malfoy's hands encircled Harry's wrists, pinning them above his head while he thoroughly explored his mouth, allowing one thigh to slide between Harry's muscled legs. Draco felt in control once more, though the hunger in the young man underneath him was calling to his wilder instincts. As Draco pulled back, to nibble along Harry's neck, the dark-haired boy whispered in parseltongue, _"Draco, pleasssse . . ."_

_"Yesssss, Harry?"_ He hissed back, licking at a blue vein.

"Don't stop." His eyes were closed, his body arching towards Draco, who pulled back to give him a wolfish grin.

"Never."

****

* * *

_"Ssssso - did anyone else think he was going to turn around, stick his tongue out and_

_ say 'So there!'?"_ Snippy asked, wide-eyed.

Snarky held his tail up. _"Who wants to bet it would be forked?"_

_"Who'd want to get close enough to check?"_ Snippy replied with a little shudder.

Snarky shook his head. _"Evidently, Hiney would."_

"Snippy, Snarky!" Dumbledore had spotted them standing to the side of the door.

_"Oi! We've been spotted!"_ Snarky hissed.

_"Yo! S'up, Candy-man?"_ Snippy called.

Dumbledore frowned. He was certain that the snakes had heard him and responded, however, while he was many things, he was not a parselmouth. And he was suddenly very interested in having a conversation with the candy-thieving spies. He tossed them two chocolate frogs, which they immediately devoured. "If you would please find Mr. Pot- " The headmaster paused, thinking for a moment.

_"Did he say 'Mr. Pot'?"_ Snippy asked, mouth slightly full. _"What is that? Mr. Potato Head's best friend, the druggie?"_

Snarky swallowed and snickered, _"In which case, I guess we're headed to Hufflepuff, huh?"_

"On second though, please find Mr. Malfoy - "

_"Oh, no - we're not going anywhere near Luci-yuck! He's already hit on us once tonight. We almost didn't escape." _Snarky shuddered.

_"Yeah, it's not like he takes 'no' for an answer,"_ Snippy added, earnestly.

Dumbledore stared at them blankly. He did not understand any of their hissing, but their reluctance was palpable. A thought occurred to him. "The junior Malfoy, that is."

_"Ohhhh! The ssssex-god? Sure, no problemo!"_ Snippy called. _"Be back in a jiff."_ They waved their tales in goodbye, and headed for the door.

****

* * *

Rune paced back and forth outside the dungeons. She had been trying to be evil under Sheldon's tutelage for awhile now, and it didn't seem to be having the desired effect. She thought back to Severus's face when she had assisted in wrecking his potions classroom, and felt quite ashamed. Her decision was made. She would apologize to the professor tonight, and hope he understood. Her heart fluttered with anxiety, and she decided to practice her little speech. "Professor Snape, I am terrible sorry. I was trying to be evil so that you would see - "

She broke off. See what? That she was like him? That she liked him? She shook her raven head and tried again. "Professor Snape - "

"What?"

She turned to see that Professor standing in front of her, a furious expression on his face. However, this was nothing unusual, so she decided to plunge ahead. She took a deep breath. "I just wanted you to know, that I have been hanging around with Sheldon to -"

"Annoy me? That has already come to my attention, you silly bird," he bit off.

"No, I just wanted you to - "

"To what?" He demanded, impatiently, anxious to get back to his room and brood in peace.

"To see that I could be like you, to see - " She sniffed, her eyes filling with tears.

"I don't have time for this now." And with that, he turned his back to her and headed to his room.

Rune did something she hadn't done since Salazar Slytherin was at Hogwarts. She hung her head and cried.

****

* * *

"While I am quite sure of "what" Malfoy is doing at this late hour, I have no idea where he is doing it." Griff-Gruff stared imperiously down at the two snakes. "So why don't the two of you go running amuck through some other part of the castle?"

_"Hello - we're snakes. We slither,"_ Snarky corrected him, snobbily. _"We do not run."_

_"Not that we have any intention of staying here,"_ Snippy sniffed. _"If we wanted to be around a bossy fluff-ball with a wand stuck in an uncomfortable place, we'd hang out with Hiney."_

Griff-Gruff glared at them. "Leave."

_"Alright, alright, sheesh,"_ Snarky grumbled. He and Snippy quickly slid towards the door.

As they left, they couldn't resist calling out a litany of, _"Amuck, amuck, amuck, amuck! Thee, thee, thee . . ."_

They headed for the dungeons, but upon entering the Serpent's Den, they were faced with a sleeping Lucius on the couch.

_"Holy Freakin' Merlin!"_ Snarky jumped a foot in the air as he ducked into the Slytherin Common Room.

_"Goddammit, Luci-yuck! That was my favorite couch. Now we'll have to throw it out."_ Snippy crouched behind Snarky, staring at the lecherous blonde. _"Or donate it to the Hufflepuffs."_

_"Shhhhh . . . you don't want the man-whore to wake up, do you?" _Snarky chastised, indicating that they should sneak around the couch. Quickly they reached the prefect's floor and prepared to duck under Harry's door to see if he knew where Draco was, when noises started emanating from the door.

_"Ohhhh . . . mmmm . . .Draco . . ."_

_"Harry . . . yesssss . . . right there . . . yessssss . . ."_

_"Cripes!"_ Snippy reared back from the door he was about to slither under. _"Did you hear what I heard?"_

_"Blech! I certainly did."_ Snarky stuck out his tongue in disgust. _"Sounds like Smutty and Slutty decided to pay us a little visit."_

_"No, way. Those two are still in lock up. Besides, those are human voices."_ Snippy's eyes widened as he put two an two together. _"Should we be grossed out or flattered that they're doing that in parseltongue?"_

_"Ssssex god strikessss again . . . thee, thee, thee . . ."_ Snippy's mouth twisted. _"But, we still have to go in there."_

_"Well, alright, but I'm not touching anything."_ Snarky sniffed. _"And you're going first."_

Carefully Snippy slipped under the door, covering his eyes with his tail. _"Oi! Harry! Draco! Cover up, we're coming in!"_

There was a few exclamation of surprise, some flustered movement and a soft thud, as Draco fell back on the bed. Spotting the two serpents, both with their eyes still covered, he snarled, _"What in the bloody hell do you two want? We're busy." _

_"Not what you're giving out,"_ Snarky replied. _"Are you clothed yet?"_

"Yes," Harry bit out, sounding a bit frustrated himself.

Cautiously, Snippy uncovered his eyes and breathed a sigh of relief. They weren't naked after all. Harry was laying on his back, staring up at the ceiling while he tried to catch his breath, and Draco lay on his side, next to him, glaring daggers at the snakes. Their clothes, while well rumpled, and now buttoned improperly, were covering all the important bits and pieces. _"It's safe, you can look now, Snarky."_

_"Harry, Harry, Harry . . ."_ Snarky sighed. _"Well, that didn't take long did it?"_

Draco looked affronted. "It was going to take a lot longer if you two hadn't interrupted."

Harry met his eyes, a sly smile on his face. "Really?"

_"A lot longer,"_ Draco promised, huskily.

_"Ewwww . . ."_ Snarky shook his head.

_"Stop that!"_ Snippy demanded. _"We're evil, and spies. NOT voyeurs!"_ He pondered that for a moment. _"Contrary to popular opinion."_

_"Hey, speaking of sicko perverts - did you know Luci-yuck snuck into your common room?"_ Snarky asked, eyes wide.

_"Yeah, he's downstairs waiting for the first-year girls to come down,"_ Snippy asserted.

"Is that what you two came to tell us?" Draco asked, scooting closer to Harry, so he could look down at the two snakes. Harry shivered as they came into contact and Draco smirked at him.

_"No. Dumbledore wants you,"_ Snippy replied, huffily.

Harry stood up quickly. "Why? What's wrong?"

_"No, not you, Harry,"_ Snarky said. _"He wants Draco."_

"Oh."

"Don't look so crestfallen, Hero. I'm sure your chance to save the world again is coming soon." Draco rolled his head, working out kinks in his neck as he stood.

"You're a right prat, you know that, Malfoy?" Harry snapped.

"You don't seem to mind." Draco purred, stepping closer, and pulling Harry to him by the collar. "I'd go so far as to say you kinda like it."

Harry opened his mouth to reply, but Draco was faster, closing in on him with a breath-taking kiss. Harry couldn't help but respond.

_"Ewwww! Stop that!"_ Snarky shouted, covering Snippy's eyes with his tail. _"There are impressionable minds about!"_

"Yeah? Where?" Draco replied, stepping away from the flustered Harry.

_"Somewhere around here . . ."_ Snippy glanced around the room as if searching for such people.

Harry looked worriedly at Draco. "Do you want me to come with you?"

"That's ok, Hero. I'm not afraid of the dark." Draco smirked, and headed through the door, the snakes trailing after him.

Harry sat back on the bed, feeling quite flushed. His mind flashed with images. Draco moving on top of him, his taste, his scent, his hands sliding over Harry's skin . . . Harry shook himself from his reverie. Looking back at the bed, he saw the corner of the journal he was reading earlier. He grinned. He was too wound to sleep, he might as well get some more reading done.

****

* * *

_"We're baa-aack!"_ Snippy announced with a snicker.

_"Did ya' miss usss, candy-man?"_ Snarky hopped up on Dumbledore's desk with his serpent companion, diving into the candy bowl with glee.

Draco remained in the doorway, hesitating slightly. "You asked to see me . . . sir?"

"Yes, Mr. Malfoy, please come in, sit down." The headmaster invited, eyes twinkling once more. "I'd offer you some candy, but - "

"It happens to be coated in snake drool?" Draco suggested, eyeing the two mascots who were currently swimming through the bowl, tossing aside wrappers and chomping down treats with gusto.

Snippy looked up, half a cockroach cluster in his mouth. _"If I had hands, I'd be flipping you off right now, Malfoy."_

_"Yeah - like after the show we interrupted, you have any room to judge,"_ Snarky added.

"Perhaps a cup of cocoa?" Dumbledore suggested. Draco shook his head, still glaring at the snakes. "No? Well then, I have called you up here to confirm a suspicion I have."

"Sir?"

"If I am not mistaken, young Malfoy, you now understand parseltongue. Is that correct?"

"How did - that is, I . . . " Draco regarded the older man with suspicion. "It has been a recent development."

"One of many, as I understand." Dumbledore's remarks were accompanied by a loud bout of snake laughter.

_"If he only knew,"_ Snippy sniggered.

_"If we only didn't,"_ Snarky added.

Draco remained silent, regarding his headmaster with a carefully guarded expression.

"Do not worry, I don't wish to question you about those developments tonight. A rather delicate situation has come to my attention regarding a prefect and a certain Potions Master. I believe that Snippy and Snarky have information about that situation, but as I, alas, cannot speak parseltongue . . ."

"I see, sir. You wish me to translate then?"

"Yes. If you would, please," Dumbledore confirmed.

"Forgive my impertinence, sir, but why not ask Ha - Potter, as he is the resident parselmouth here?"

"As I previously stated, I also wished to confirm my suspicion of your own abilities," He replied easily. Turning to the snakes, he asked, "Snippy, Snarky, if I could have your attention, momentarily?"

They looked up expectantly. Snippy wiped a bit of chocolate off one shiny fang. _"S'up?"_

"Have you observed any unusual behavior from Professor Snape lately?" He asked, politely.

_"Hmmm, let me think,"_ Snippy considered, tapping his chin with the end of his tail. _"Sneering, scowling, swooping about like a greasy bat-like fellow - no. Nothing out of the ordinary."_

Draco's lips twitched as he felt Dumbledore's gaze turn to him. "No."

_"Unless you count the inordinate amount of time he spends in Hiney's bedroom,"_ Snarky added, innocently.

Draco barely resisted a snort, as he guessed they meant Hermione. _"In who's bedroom?"_

_"Hi - ney's,"_ Snarky repeated slowly. _"You know, brown-haired, bossy, know-it-all, used to be a Gryffindor . . ."_

_"Slightly resembles Medusa, 'She-without-good-snacks-who-carries-heavy-books',"_ Snippy continued. _"She has the bedroom where flowers come to die."_

At Draco's confused look, Snarky crowed, _"Hey! How about that! We found a bedroom Draco hasn't been invited into yet!"_

"Draco . . ." the Headmaster prompted.

"They said he's been visiting Hermione frequently," Draco said, carefully.

Dumbledore turned back to the snakes, his expression more serious. "And have you witnessed any untoward behavior during these visits?"

_"Untoward?"_ Snippy furrowed his brow.

_"I think he wants to know if we saw them fu- "_ Snarky was cut off, as Snippy put his tail over his mouth.

_"The boss man's office is PG rated, remember?"_ Snippy warned.

_"Um, y'know. Doing the -"_ Snarky paused to sway his head from side to side._ "Wild thing."_

_"Oh ick."_ Snippy stuck his tongue out. _"No, they wouldn't even kiss in front of us. Not that we really wanted to see that."_

_"Why don't you ask your dad, Draco - he used to spy on people when they were fu - er, shagging."_ Snarky looked fairly disgusted. _"Dang prevert."_

Draco looked back up at the headmaster. "No."

_"Don't get us wrong, we think they're shagging like bunnies, we just haven't seen it."_ Snippy snickered.

_"Kinda like you and Harry, Draco."_

_"I haven't actually slept with Harry,"_ Draco gritted out. _"No thanks to you two."_

_"Awfully sure of yourself, aren't you?"_ Snippy teased.

"Are you quite alright, Mr. Malfoy?" Dumbledore inquired, kindly.

"Yes, sir. Just a little frustrated." Draco smiled tightly.

"One last question." Dumbledore assured him, turning back to the mascots. "Do you think that Professor Snape has 'compromised' Ms. Granger?"

_"Duh,"_ Snarky said, shaking his head from side to side. _"Didn't Snape all but say that before he 'bwa-ha-ha'ed' his way out of here?"_

_"Well, not exactly. Leave it to Stinky to be cryptically vague about the juicy sex story,"_ Snippy replied. _"Hey, just where is all this questioning going, huh? You're not still thinking about firing Professor Snape are you?"_

Draco quickly translated. "They want to know if you're going to fire Professor Snape?"

"I haven't decided." Dumbledore shook his head. "I'm sorry to have to bring you into this mess, Mr. Malfoy, but I felt that Severus would be more comfortable with you knowing the circumstances than with Mr. Potter."

"What are you going to do?" Draco asked, feeling slightly panicked at the prospect of Snape's dismissal.

"I'm not sure," he restated, noting Draco's concern. "I am severely disappointed by his lack of judgement."

_"Oh, like you're one to talk."_ Snarky rolled his eyes. _"Would you care to discuss your judgement for a moment?"_

_"Yeah, can we just say - You hired Quirrel!"_ Snippy's eyes widened. _"And he had 'He-who-shall-not-be-made-fun-of-even-by-snakes' on the back of his head."_ Snippy paused, staring at Dumbledore for a moment, before turning around and pointing at the back of his own skull. _"ON THE BACK OF HIS HEAD!"_

_"Yeah, we tried to tell you for a whole semester! What did you think we were doing, hanging out in front of him at dinner, pointing at that ugly-ass turban!"_ Snarky added. _"Well, we were also talking to Tom. Conversation didn't go well."_

_"Can't blame him for being cranky when he had to live on the back of some dude's head,"_ Snippy pointed out. _"Though we were being nice. We were all like 'S'up, Tom! Long time, no see, buddy! So, you're like, hanging out on that guy's head. Good for you! Valid life-style choice.' We didn't even judge him!"_

_"But could he even be polite? Noooo - he had to be all like, 'Shut up, Snakes! You'll give me away!' Uh, Dude, we were _trying_,"_ Snarky pointed out. _"Not like anyone else could hear us anyway. Or like he wasn't wicked conspicuous with the evil head-wear."_

_"Not that you noticed." _Snippy turned back to Dumbledore. _"No, you were all like, 'Welcome back with your evil hat! I just wanted to introduce you to Harry Potter. Have at him.' At least Death Breath figured out something was going on with Professor Stutters-in-a-deceptively-innocent-way." _

Draco covered his mouth, to hide the smirk that was forming. "They wanted you to know that they tried to warn you about Professor Quirrel._"_

_"ON THE BACK OF HIS HEAD!"_ They both shouted again, exasperated.

_"Leave the greasy git alone. As long as he ain't wearing large ugly hats, we're not worried,"_ Snippy continued.

"They don't think you should worry about Snape." The snakes hissed at him expectantly, until Draco added, "As long as he isn't wearing hats."

Dumbledore grinned. "I see."

Draco stood up. "If you haven't any more questions, I would like to return to bed, sir."

"Yes, it is getting rather late. You should return to the dormitories." Dumbledore yawned. He waited until Draco had opened to door to call out, "That is, your own dormitories. _Alone_, Mr. Malfoy."

Draco didn't even blink. "Of course, sir."

He shut the door behind him, and headed for the dungeons, trade-mark smirk in place. "Alone, indeed."


	19. Drink Pumpkinjuice!

**TITLE:** Trading Spaces 19?

**RATING:** R (slash warning m/m)

**PAIRING:** HG/SS, HP/DM, HP/HG (friendship)

**A/N:** This chapter contains a quote from West Wing, and also **character death ahead**, sorry.

**Chapter Nineteen: Drink Pumpkin Juice!**

****

* * *

Harry paced back and forth in his room, impatiently awaiting Draco's return. He was awash in a sea of confusion. There were only two conclusions he could draw about Draco's unlikely summons to the Headmaster's office. Either Draco was in trouble, or Dumbledore was asking for his help. Harry sort of hoped that Draco was in trouble. The former Gryffindor sighed. He was jealous. There was no way around it, no noble justification. Well, Draco had always brought out Harry's baser instincts. Harry smirked as he recalled some of those instances. From fighting to snogging, at least Harry was never bored around Draco. He heard the door open behind him. "Draco?"

"No, Harry it is I - the Blackest Magic - "

"Ever," Harry sighed. "What are you doing here?"

"Griff-gruff informed me that all of the evil mascots were running amuck through the castle. I was just trying to oblige when I saw the light on in your room," the book announced with glee. "I have an urgent matter to discuss with you, Harry."

"Look, I'm sure that whatever you have to say is really, er- evil and everything, but I'm kind of busy right now . . ."

"Were you studying?" The book looked around, Dumbledore wouldn't like it if he interrupted study time. Harry's bed was slightly rumpled, but other than that, the room was fairly neat. There weren't any books, parchment or quills out.

Harry blushed. "Not exactly."

"Then what were you doing?"

"I was just - er, that is, I'm kind of . . ." Harry sputtered. "I'm sort of waiting for someone."

"Really? At this hour?" The book looked at him appraisingly. "Is it a . . ." he lowered his voice, "Girl?"

"A girl?" Harry scoffed. Then he rethought the matter. "Why yes. Yes, I'm waiting on a girl, so if you'd just shove off now . . ."

"Do not worry, Harry. This won't take long." The book hopped up on his desk and began to pace back and forth.

"I just wanted you to know that I am evil, Harry."

"Oh, well . . . point taken, see you later!"

"Very evil. I am so evil that I have turned Rune to the dark side. That's a little FYI, for you Harry. Rune - she's evil. I corrupted her." The book nodded sagely. "But that is not my point."

"You have one?" Harry sighed, sitting down on the edge of his bed.

"Harry, Harry, Harry . . ." The book paused. "I want you to know that I like you. You're not evil, and you usually spoil my evil plots. But I like you. So I have decided to do you a favor."

"Oh. That's really . . . unnecessary," Harry protested.

"Do not worry. My favor has an evil subtext."

"Of course."

"I have decided to take out one of my rival evil-doers, as we arch-villains sometimes do." At Harry's confused look, the book added, "We're evil, Harry. You wouldn't understand our ways."

"And who exactly is this rival of yours?" Harry sighed again.

"I can't quite remember his name. Lord Moldy Vort? No, that's not it. Oldiemort?" The book shrugged. "Something like that. But apparently, he's really, really evil. I keep hearing about him, so he's getting more publicity than me, and that's just unacceptable."

"I see." Harry's lips twitched. "So you're going to kill Lord Voldemort?"

"Voldemort! That's it."

"And how do you propose to do that?" Harry crossed his arms over his chest.

"That's easy. I have this spell to take out dark Lords." The book looked imperiously back at Harry. "You know the one."

"I do?"

"The snakes didn't tell you?" Sheldon appeared shocked. "Page 117?"

Harry shook his head.

"In any case, I heard that Voldewart is trying to kill you," Sheldon informed him. "As I have intended to kill him all along for being more infamous than me, I have decided to kill him before he kills you, even though you're not evil!"

"Thanks, I guess," Harry smiled, amused. "Well, if that's all . . ."

"I could stay here and keep you company until your girl gets here, if you like," the book offered kindly. "In case you're afraid or something. Seeing as how you have been newly informed of a death threat against you."

"I think I'll be ok." Harry walked over to the door and held it open.

"Well, alright." The book walked through the door. "Just remember, if you're afraid, page 117, ok, Harry?"

"Ok." Harry slammed the door shut, leaning against it.

"You're welcome!" The book shouted through the door.

****

* * *

Draco quietly let himself into Harry's room. "Hero?"

The room was silent. Harry lay curled on his side on the bed, naked except for a pair of pajama pants with serpents on them. His attention fixed on Draco with a new focus.

"Well," Draco smiled, "That's one way to get into my pants, Hero."

Harry's eyes smoldered. He made a gesture with his left hand and the door flew shut and locked. The little flare of magic sent shivers through the both of them. "Come here, Draco."

Draco quirked his eyebrow and slowly approached the bed. He wasn't the sort to take kindly to being given directives, but the darkness and hunger swirling in Harry's emerald eyes was more than compelling. Draco lowered himself onto the mattress and crawled towards Harry, his motions sinuous and languid. "Something you wanted, Hero?"

"For as long as I can remember," Harry whispered. Draco pushed him flat against the bed, settling his torso half on Harry's chest. He rested his forearms on either side of Harry's head. Harry's breath caught in his throat.

Slowly, Draco lowered his head and brushed his lips over Harry's, then retreated just a breath away before repeating the motion again. Harry groaned, reaching up to bury his hands in Draco's silken blond locks and pull him down for a deeper kiss. As if he had unleashed some primal force in Draco, the Slytherin responded with abandon. Suddenly, his body was covering Harry's, his weight deliciously pinning him down, his tongue wildly invading Harry's mouth. Harry was wrapped in Draco's scent, engulfed in a passion that held no tenderness, just bright need.

In the air, there was a faint buzzing, similar to the hum of electricity in a Muggle home. Harry's mind idly noticed the noise and then dismissed it, caught up in the sheer heat of Draco's kisses. His hands were braced on Harry's bare chest as he trailed his lips down Harry's neck, nuzzling the sensitive skin behind the brunette's ear. Draco straddled Harry's lap and softly bit into the tender flesh there, enjoying the feel of Harry shivering beneath him. Harry's finger slid down to the buttons on Draco's shirt, desperate to feel the other boy's naked skin. Leaning back, the blonde rested his weight on his knees, arching his back and sliding his arms impatiently out of the shirt, balling it up and tossing it over his head. Harry reached for the button and zipper on Draco's trousers, unfastening them and eagerly shoving them down Draco's hips. Leaning forward once more, Draco braced his weight on his hands this time, lifting his lower body to allow Harry to slide the offending clothing off. He was not wearing underwear.

Harry met Draco's eyes. The blond was now poised above him, beautifully naked. Harry exhaled heavily, and Draco smirked, "Your turn, Hero."

Draco slid down Harry's body, trailing his lips down Harry's chest. His fingers caught the waistband of the brunette's pants, and pressing his mouth to Harry's navel, he paused teasingly before tugging them off the rest of the way, leaving Harry's body bare for his viewing pleasure.

_"Draco,"_ Harry gasped, a sound of pleasure and anticipation. Draco's elegant fingers slowly stroked his skin, first teasing his rippling abs, then gently scraping across his hip bones, making Harry's body jerk. Harry met his eyes once more. "Still think you're man enough to handle me?"

"I do," Draco purred, before setting about to prove it. His hands wrapped around Harry's erection firmly, stroking it in a sweet caress that made Harry tremble. _"I'm man enough to make you scream, Hero."_

"Same back at you, Malfoy," Harry grinned. He grabbed Malfoy by the column of his throat, pulling him roughly up his body. His lips met Draco's with bruising force, his motions becoming frantic, as he sought to replicate Draco's motions with his own hand on Draco's body.

"H-h-Harry," Draco breathed, feeling his muscles tense, pleasure building low in his stomach. "Oh, don't stop, Hero."

"Never." They panted desperately in sync as their bodies writhed against each other. Harry fisted his free hand in Draco's hair, pulling the boy's face close to his own, letting their foreheads touch. The gesture stirred something tender in Draco. Somehow, it made everything seem more intimate. Draco knew he wasn't going to last much longer, and looking in Harry's eyes, intensified the sensations coursing through him. He leaned up and kissed Harry again, emotion pouring through him. Harry responded by stroking Draco harder. He strained in Draco's tight grip, fighting desperately for his release, as if his very survival depended on how close he could get to Draco, how frantically they could move against each other. His vision was clouded with stars, as sensation took over vision, blinding him to anything but the exquisite feel of Draco's flesh, and his vicious need for it.

In the next moment, they exploded against each other, shuddering and shaking with the force of their climax. As they did, a rolling boom rocked the entire castle, and every light in Hogwarts that was still on shattered and went dark.

"What was that?" Harry panted. "Death Eaters?"

"No, luv," Draco smirked, wrapping his arms around Harry and pulling him close, completely enthralled with the creature in his arms. "That was us."

****

* * *

"So, how is everyone this morning?" Ron glanced nervously between Harry, Hermione and Draco. The unlikely group sat at the Slytherin table once more this morning, pretending not to notice that all of Hogwarts was watching, holding their breath for what would happen next. When the other students weren't openly staring at them, they were whispering about the weird power surge that had happened late the night before. Ron held his breath, hoping for negative responses to his next earnest question. "Anyone feel like having sex on the breakfast table?"

_"No, not today,"_ Snippy hissed, sliding around Ron's plate and helping himself to a piece of his bacon.

_"But thanksssss for asking,"_ Snarky added, joining his compatriot in enjoying Ron's breakfast.

Draco almost rolled his eyes, but decided at the last moment that it was too provincial of a gesture for him. He met Harry's gaze, silver eyes molten with heat and the memories of their last encounter. "What about you, Hero? Up for an early morning shag?"

"You could try not to hit on my best friend while I'm sitting right here," Hermione pointed out. "Pass the jam, please."

Harry smiled devilishly, thinking that if he was up for an early morning shag, they wouldn't be down here having breakfast already. Draco raised a brow, a smirk spreading across his handsome face.

_"You're probably right, Hero." _Draco placed his hand on Harry's upper thigh under the table.

Harry swallowed hard, wondering when he had become so easy to read. He licked his lips, and tried to compose himself as Draco's hand rose higher. When he noticed Hermione's arch expression, her lips twisted in an amused smirk, he blushed. To throw attention off of himself, and the wicked way Draco was teasing him, Harry shrugged and said, "I'm out. Snape doesn't seem in the mood."

"Didn't know you felt that way about Snape," Draco drawled playfully, watching Harry's eyes crinkle just slightly at the corners in response to his touches, his breath catching in a small hitch that only Draco noticed.

_"Ewwww . . . . Sssssnape,"_ the snakes chorused.

"You could try not to hit on my . . . professor, while I'm sitting right here," Hermione grinned, stealing a glance at the man in question. Severus was staring at her. She winked at him, and he hastily looked away. "Pass the pumpkin juice."

Ron visibly relaxed. It seemed that nobody would be having intercourse on his table, and he was free to wrestle his breakfast away from the snakes in peace. Later, he was going to need to have a long talk with both Harry and Hermione about what was going on. He understood that sometimes it was hard to keep everyone in the loop. But enough was enough. It was time he was brought inside the secret circle. Ron blanched. He hoped that didn't include having sex with Malfoy.

"Professor, is that what they're calling it these days?" Draco asked lazily, having finally brought his hands above the table. He absently stroked a lock of Hermione's hair as he refilled her cup for her, dutifully playing his role, despite his illicit under the table actions.

_"And what do you call it?"_ Snarky hissed, disdainfully. He was momentarily distracted as he noticed Harry, who was trembling slightly as he reached for his drink, a fine sheen of sweat on his famously scarred forehead. _"You alright there, Harry?"_ The snake moved away from him. _"You're not sick, are you?"_

_"He's just . . . overheated,"_ Draco said mischeviously, ignoring the surprised looks of his fellow students who were previously unaware of his brand new ability.

Snippy and Snarky frowned, getting an inkling of what was going on.

_"Honestly, Malfoy, can't you keep your hands to yourself for even a ssssssecond?" _Snarky admonished.

_"What do you expect from someone who's most successssful pick up line is 'hey, you, wanna shag?'"_ Snippy laughed.

_"Shut up!"_ Draco hissed loudly. Three second-years from Hufflepuff swooned.

_"Yeah, that always works. Now say, 'pretty please,'"_ Snippy smirked.

Draco, rather impressed with his new power of sex appeal, turned to a group of fourth years at the Ravenclaw table, somehow managing to purr as he hissed, _"Pretty please."_

The young Ravenclaws sighed, leaning their chins on their hands and blushing prettily, except for one who stared back hungrily and licked her lips. Harry smirked, feeling strangely pleased with how wanted Draco was, with the fact that last night Draco had been completely his.

"I think you slept with that one," Hermione surmised.

"Nonsense, she's fourteen," Draco protested huffily.

_"Yeah - he slept with her older sister,"_ Snarky nodded, creeping towards Harry's plate.

_"Twice,"_ Snippy added helpfully, before carefully following his companion.

_"Twice?"_ Draco furrowed his brow, thinking back. _"I thought they were twins."_

_"Didn't it throw you off that the name was the same?"_ Harry questioned, amused.

_"Name?"_ Draco said blankly.

_"Oh, never mind."_ Harry sighed.

"It's a little rude to engage in conversations that other people can't understand," Hermione observed.

Ron rolled his eyes. "I've been telling you that for years."

Harry smiled at his friends and moved to dig into his breakfast at last only to find the plate empty. He glared accusingly at the snakes_._

_"What?"_ Snippy demanded, daintily wiping some crumbs off his mouth with the tip of his tail.

Harry shook his head and began reloading his plate.

_"Ah - Harry? I'd avoid the bacon - not nearly crispy enough,"_ Snarky advised.

Harry piled the bacon on his plate. _"As long as that means you won't eat it."_

_"Oh, you're fine. We're eating Draco's food now,"_ Snippy assured him.

"Hey!" Draco grabbed his fork and set about defending his toast.

Harry looked down to see Snarky devouring his bacon. He raised a brow at the tiny snake.

_"That's punishment,"_ Snarky mumbled, his mouth ballooned around a ball of bacon the size of his head. _"For not taking my advice."_

Harry snatched a piece off the edge of the plate, idly wondering when he had become comfortable eating off of dishes with snakes on them. It was probably a survival measure so he didn't starve to death. _"You're evil."_

_"Ssssanks,"_ Snarky beamed.

_"Don't you feel bad for stealing his bacon, now?"_ Snippy asked, jealous that Harry had yet to call him evil today.

_"No."_ Snarky shrugged, his mouth still full. _"You know, this bacon's not all that bad. Maybe I was hasty in my judgment."_

"Evil? Bad? Somebody looking for me?" Sheldon leapt onto Harry's plate, splattering bacon across the table.

Ron, Harry, Hermione and Draco silently and quickly stood up and left the Great Hall. Snarky threw a piece of bacon at the book, smacking Lockhart's picture in the face.

****

* * *

Severus Snape glared at his seventh year potions class, dispensing with formalities. "If you can tear yourselves away from your meaningless conversations and focus on something that matters, we will be brewing a tracking potion today. Who can tell me what this potion is used for?"

Hermione instantly raised her hand. Snape regarded her dispassionately, but she noticed hidden warmth in his eyes, imperceptible to the rest of the class. He called on Draco.

"It is used when people have lost their way, or are missing. Particularly useful when planning long trips in unfamiliar areas. Any wizard who drinks the potion will give off a magical signature that will help certain wizards find them," Draco rattled off the information casually, from his customary lazy sprawl at his table.

"And how does one determine which wizards can read the signal?" Snape prodded. A hand went up and Snape rolled his eyes. "Mr. Potter, you should have used the facilities before you got to class. If you need to use the hall pass, this is not the time."

"Sir?" Harry's brows knitted. "Like in the polyjuice potion, a unique ingredient must be added. In this case, something from the point of origin where the wizard who is lost wishes to return is added at the highest boiling point. Anyone who begins searching for the wizard from that origin point can read the signature. Or to strengthen the connection, the searching wizard can drink from the same batch of potion and be the only one who can clearly read the signal."

The class was taken aback. How had Harry figured that out? How had he gotten so good at potions? Snape's scowl darkened. "An adequate answer, Potter. I see you actually used your potions book for something more than a doorstop. Ten points," he almost smiled as he added, "To Slytherin."

Draco stared at Harry. His little speech had echoed Draco's thoughts on the matter down to the exact phrasing. He met Harry's eyes with silent questions.

"Pair up and begin!" Snape ordered. "Potter - work with Mr. Malfoy. I expect complete potions by the end of class."

The class buzzed as they set about gathering ingredients, cauldrons and partners. Harry settled himself next to Draco.

"That was impressive, Hero."

Harry nodded in acknowledgement.

"Still," the blond continued. "I happen to know you have spent no time studying - least of all for potions."

"Not last night," Harry smirked.

Draco's eyes darkened. "Not this night either, if I have my way."

Meanwhile, across the room, Hermione waited until everyone had left the ingredients closet, to gather the items she and Neville would need. Snape watched her casually stroll into the small, secluded room, while Neville nervously busied himself with checking and rechecking the instructions. Snape wavered, wanting to follow her on pure instinct, responding to the brief teasing glance she had shot over her shoulder, but the better angels of his nature warned him that it was too blatant, too close to their school personas, too disrespectful, too risky - too delicious to pass up.

As Snape entered the closet, Hermione was perched precariously on a stool, reaching for something on a high shelf. The position caused her skirt to rise a scandalous distance up her thighs. "Miss Granger - do come down from there before you break something."

"And if I do?" She smiled as she climbed down to face him. Her heart was racing as she clung tightly to her bravery. This was yet another of Troy's plans. Troy had given her seduction plans aplenty, rattling them off left and right. She had dutifully written them down and labeled them with letters. Malfoy Sr. had ruined the last one, but she still counted it as a success because Severus had responded, as he was doing once again. "What are you going to do about it?"

Severus' mouth went dry. Hermione stood in front of him, one hand trailing casually across the shelf beside her, the other playfully twirling a lock of her hair. She smiled up at him, softly biting into her lower lip, the picture of innocence with mischief twinkling in her eyes. He narrowed his eyes. She was playing a dangerous game, tempting a man like him, despite what he had told Dumbledore the night before. He decided to call her bluff, and try to scare her into backing off a bit.

"I'll take you back to my rooms and teach you to heed what I say," he whispered softly, his voice like velvet honey, regarding her with a predatory gaze she hadn't seen him use out of the seclusion of the Death Eater's circle. Hermione swallowed, feeling her stomach drop and slowly begin to fill with liquid heat. Holding her breath, she looked him in the eye, reached out with her left hand and purposefully knocked a jar of beetle eyes off a nearby shelf, not even flinching as they shattered.

One moment Hermione was looking into his eyes, the next she was pressed tightly to his chest, his mouth claiming hers with bruising force. She wrapped her arms around his neck, returning his kiss with abandon.

"Ahem," Draco coughed loudly as he entered the closet, studiously looking at a shelf of potions. "Way to be stealthy."

"Get what you came for and go, Mr. Malfoy," Snape demanded coldly, suddenly flustered at having been caught. Again.

Draco smirked as he strutted out of the room, carrying the ingredient that he and Harry had been missing.

"Oops," Hermione whispered, blushing prettily. "We need a cover now."

"Yes," Severus answered, taking in her flushed and slightly disheveled appearance.

"Yell at me," she said softly.

"It was hardly your fault! I am the - "

"Oh, stuff it," She stopped him. "I meant for the cover. Yell at me."

"For what," He marveled at her new confidence, not mincing words with him at all.

Hermione smirked, "I broke something. Remember?"

Severus had the image of her provocative look as she had knocked the jar over etched in his mind. "Yes."

****

* * *

By the end of class, Hermione was frantically trying to finish the potion. Neville had just about given up, and like the rest of the class, was now focused on watching Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy work on their potion. A low buzz swirled around the room as people whispered between themselves. The two of them worked in tandem with a rhythm that was down right unholy. Preparing ingredients, stirring, adjusting the flames, they worked without communicating about the potion at all. Instead, they traded insults rapidly, as they usually did when forced to work together.

"Watch yourself, Potter. Children shouldn't play with fire," Draco teased as Harry turned the flame up under the cauldron.

"Hey Malfoy, nice wrist action with the stirring. I can guess where you built up those hand muscles," Harry sneered as he added the ingredients deftly into the perfectly swirling potion.

"Jealous, Potter? Don't worry, someday you'll develop muscles, too."

"Piss off, Malfoy. I've got enough muscle to beat you at Quidditch . . . constantly."

"Dumb luck, Potter. Emphasis on the dumb."

"Or talent. You know that thing that you need if your father doesn't buy your way on to the team?"

"I have better moves than you any day, Potter." Draco smirked sinfully. "I just show my prowess in other arenas."

"And which arenas are those?"

"I'll tell you when you're older, Potter."

Ostensibly, this was meant to conceal their new connection from the rest of the class, but the tactic was failing horribly. Their insults had lost their cutting edge, and seemed almost rehearsed in their swift glibness. Combined with their apparent ease in creating a complex potion perfectly, with nary a word about who was to do what, it was obvious that something strange was going on. They paid no attention to anyone else in the room.

"Neville, hand me that bottle!" Hermione commanded, feeling very frustrated and concerned about her grade.

Neville jumped about two feet, but quickly complied. "It's ok, Hermione. Calm down a little."

"CALM DOWN!" Hermione heard the shrillness in her voice and forced herself to take a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Neville, it's just - with the way class started today, I really wanted to do well on this potion."

"It's ok, I understand. _He_ yells at me all the time," Neville remarked sadly.

Hermione took a moment to pat Neville on the shoulder before she turned once again to her potion. It looked like she had done it correctly, though she wasn't sure it was exactly the right color. Normally, she would have been certain it was the best potion in the class, no matter what shade it was. However, today it was very clear to everyone whose potion would be best. She sighed. Beaten by her best friend and a Malfoy. It just wasn't fair.

Snape began to walk around the potions classroom, inspecting cauldrons. He passed over Hermione and Neville's with a murmured, "Not that bad."

The class seemed to hold their breath as he approached Harry and Draco. He stared into their cauldron for a moment. "Well, Potter, looks like Mr. Malfoy has managed to save your grade once again. This potion is perfect." He turned to the rest of the class. "Please bottle a sample of your potion and leave it on my desk for grading. Mr. Potter, Mr. Malfoy and Ms. Granger, you will please remain after class for a few moments."

The potions class quickly bottled their assignments and left, certain that the three prefects asked to stay behind were in some kind of trouble. After everyone had filed out, Draco closed and locked the door behind them.

Snape produced three cups and set them on Harry and Draco's table. He quickly filled them with the still steaming potion and cast a cooling charm. "Drink up."

"How did I know that you were having us brew this for a reason?" Hermione sighed, hoping that this would taste better than the polyjuice potion.

_"Well, figuring that out wouldn't exactly take a rocket scientist, now would it, Hiney?"_ Snarky slipped under the door and into the potions classroom, Snippy right behind him.

Draco chuckled, and then grimaced as he downed his potion. "Yech!"

Harry quickly followed suit, also frowning at the bitter taste. Hermione held onto her glass, but could not quite force herself to drink it yet.

"The rest of the potion will be distributed to the Gryffindor House tonight," Snape informed them.

_"Ooooh! We could help! We ran out of good breath potion to play paint potion with!"_ Snippy exclaimed. _"But we'll have to redo the point system if we're restricted to Gryffindor House. They don't run very well."_

_"I sssay - fifty points for Griff-gruff . . ."_ Snarky mused.

"I'll be adding it to their pumpkin juice at dinner," Snape continued.

The snakes flipped him off with their tails. There went their entertainment for the evening.

"Draco, try to make sure everyone - particularly the muggleborns and younger girls drink pumpkin juice. Unfortunately, you won't be able to have dinner with your . . . girlfriend, tonight." Severus smiled triumphantly.

"Sir? Is there a reason this has to be done tonight? The potion's only good for about three days, so . . ." Draco objected.

"Yes. I spoke with your father last night, Draco." Snape paused.

_"Uh-oh, Snippy, that's his 'I'm deadly serious' face!"_ Snarky noted.

_"It looks a lot like his 'I'm cranky' face,"_ Snippy pointed out. _"Also, his 'I'm sleepy' face. And it's fairly close to his, 'I'm bored' face."_

_"For that matter, it looks like his 'I'm happy' face,"_ Snarky added.

_"Shut up, Snakes!"_ Harry demanded. Draco looked over at him with a decidedly hungry look.

"There is going to be an attack on Hogwarts tonight. If they get through, it will begin in Gryffindor Tower. They're going to try to kidnap muggle borns, and who knows what will happen to the rest of the students. This is only one of many precautions we will be taking." Snape reached out and put a hand on Draco's shoulder, and one on Hermione's. "Please be careful tonight."

Draco and Hermione nodded somberly. The snakes were upset. Snippy huffed, _"What about Harry? Shouldn't he be careful?"_

_"For that matter, what about ussss?"_ Snippy exclaimed.

_"Yeah, like we're gonna be anywhere near the line of fire!"_ Snarky pointed out. _"Ha!"_

_"Good point,"_ Snippy nodded. He turned to Harry. _"We'll be hiding out in Hufflepuff with some popcorn - so please stop by after and let us know if you made it!"_

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Malfoy - you may go now." Snape sighed. He couldn't understand the snakes, but he was beginning to recognize when they were being particularly obnoxious. "And take those two with you!"

_"Those two? Those two!"_ Snarky huffed.

_"Like you're too good to address us by name!"_ Snippy sniffed.

_"Think we should bite him?"_ Snarky turned a calculating eye on the potions master.

_"Or we could bring back the breath of death . . ."_ Snippy mused.

_"NO!"_ Harry and Draco shouted in unison. Quickly they each scooped up a snake and hurried out of the classroom.

Hermione sauntered over to Snape's desk, and hopped up on it. "So, Severus." She smiled. "Alone at last."

"You will please drink your potion, now," Snape said gently, lifting her cup and carrying it to her.

Hermione accepted the cup and promptly put it aside. "Later."

"Now." He frowned. "Hermione . . ."

"I love the way you say my name," she whispered, honestly. "Kiss me, Severus."

"I can't right now," he protested. "Please drink your potion. You're going to be late for your next class."

"I have a free period." Hermione smiled. "And so do you."

"I know what you're thinking," he began. "At least I hope I do - but -- "

"But what? Lucius isn't here. The door is locked." She raised her wand and locked the door. "What's to stop us?"

"Hermione, I just don't feel that this is an appropriate place to engage in -- that sort of activity. So, if you can just drink that potion . . ."

"Like I give a bloody damn about the sodding potion!"

Snape leaned down and covered her mouth with his own in a breath-stealing kiss. She softened in his arms, melting into his embrace. "When did you start using language like that?"

"About the time you started frustrating me," she pouted.

"I give a bloody damn about the sodding potion," Snape added in a sterner tone. "It would probably amuse Lucius to no end to kidnap you tonight, just to spite me. And if he does, I will come for you, I will kill him, and I'd like a good idea of where to aim."

"Severus," she whispered. Nodding slightly, she downed the potion in one swallow, her face already screwed up in anticipation of the bitter taste. "Dear Lord, that's -- not that bad. Harry and Draco are great big wimps!"

"I sweetened yours," he confessed.

"Thank you," she answered primly, smirking inwardly as she remembered Draco's face when he swallowed the potion.

"Hermione, my feelings for you are complicated. I think it's evident that I'm interested in pursuing a higher level of involvement with you."

"Wow, that was sexy."

Severus glared at her. "Comments like that make me want to rethink what I just said."

"But you won't."

His shoulders fell. "No, I won't. But now is not the appropriate time or place."

"Yeah, I bet the desk would hurt my back."

"Hermione, some decorum, please."

"I understand." She stood up. "I guess I should go, unless you want to discuss our higher level of involvement. I bet you have flow charts or something."

"You don't have to go," he said, feeling slightly disappointed that she had not remained adamant. "Why don't we retire to my private office?"

"Is that where the flowcharts are?"

"No." His lips twitched. "But there may be a graph."

"All right," She smiled. "What are we going to do there?"

"I think you'll be particularly interested in the red shaded area."

****

* * *

At dinner that night, Hermione and Harry decided to join Draco at the Gryffindor table. Ron was relieved to be away from the Slytherins, especially the snakes. Maybe he would actually get to eat his dinner tonight.

Harry reached for the jug of pumpkin juice, then paused. "I'm wondering, are there any weird side effects of this potion? Like, am I going to overdose if I drink anymore of it tonight?"

"You're so good at potions, don't you know, Harry?" Hermione huffed.

_"Oh, bitter - party of one!"_ Snippy announced slinking onto the Gryffindor table.

"Oh no!" Ron exclaimed. "What are **they** doing here?"

_"Why does everyone keep referring to us as 'they' and 'those two'? It's really very rude. We are actually separate snakes, y'know,"_ Snippy commented.

_"Do you ever go anywhere apart?"_ Draco asked.

_"No."_ Snarky stared at him.

_"What's your point?"_ Snippy asked. Draco just sighed.

"No one's answered me yet - can I drink this or not?" Harry indicated the pitcher of pumpkin juice once again.

"Yeah - should be fine," Draco waved his hand. Harry started to pour some in his cup. "Or course, I'm not risking it."

Harry poured the liquid back into the pitcher, sighing dejectedly. "Death eaters ruin everything. Even my beverages."

"Speaking of - I need to make sure that all the young girls drink plenty of potion - er, pumpkin juice." Draco furrowed his brow. Taking a quick survey of the table, he was pleased to find that most of the Gryffindors were drinking pumpkin juice already. He looked at one-second year girl who was not. "Hey - you! Have some pumpkin juice!"

She looked back at him with an expression that told him to piss off and returned to her glass of water.

_"Well, that wassss effective,"_ Snippy laughed.

_"Why don't you offer to snog whoever can drink the mosssst?" _Snarky suggested.

_"You think there are people Draco hasn't snogged?"_ Harry snorted.

"Does he do this hissing thing often?" Ron asked. Hermione nodded her head emphatically and gestured at Draco to indicate him as a culprit as well. "Because it's kind of disturbing. Does anyone else find all the snake talk disturbing?"

_"No."_ Snarky glared at the redhead.

_"Hey!"_ Draco protested. _"There's plenty of first years that I haven't . . . you know."_

_"Gotten to yet?"_ Snippy supplied._ "Don't worry, there's still time."_

"Hey! You there!" Draco pointed at a Gryffindor headed for his seat.

_"Wow, check out his work ethic,"_ Snarky commented. _"He gets right on that stuff."_

Draco shot a quelling glance at the snake, before addressing the boy again, "Drink some pumpkin juice when you sit down."

The kid smiled and nodded his head, then turned, rolled his eyes and reached for a cup of tea.

"Am I missing something? Why are we trying to get the table to drink pumpkin juice?" Ron questioned.

"Death eater protection," Hermione answered. "Don't ask."

Snippy and Snarky dived into the nearest pitcher of pumpkin juice.

_"Ugh! What are you two doing in there?"_ Harry shook his head, quickly pulling them out.

_"Yeah, snake butts in the beverage are not going to help our cause,"_ Draco added.

_"We want to make sure that you can find us, should we possibly get into trouble tonight,"_ Snippy explained.

Ron stared into his cup of pumpkin juice. "What's in it?"

"Potion," Hermione answered dismissively.

"What's in the potion?" Ron persisted, remembering many of the less appetizing ingredients he had used in previous potions classes.

"Again - don't ask," Hermione answered; Harry and Draco nodded their heads in agreement.

Ginny, spotting her brother, plopped down beside him at the table. "Hi Ron! Don't ask what?"

_"Wow . . . she follows direction well,"_ Snippy commented, eyeing the spread on the table as he tried to decide what to eat.

Draco decided to try again. "This is the BEST pumpkin juice I've ever had!" There was no response from the table. Draco sighed, "That would have worked in Slytherin."

Ron poured Ginny a healthy portion of pumpkin juice. "Here you go."

"What's this?"

_"Pumpkin juice!"_ Snarky answered. _"She's quick on the uptake, too."_

"Gin, Professor Snape put a protection potion in the pumpkin juice. It's important that everyone in Gryffindor drinks some, but we don't want to get everybody all worked up," Harry explained. "Any bright ideas?"

_"Let's not bet the castle on that one,"_ Snippy snickered.

Ron pressed the cup into Ginny's hands, staring at her until she took a sip.

"Yeah, that's easy." Ginny grinned. "Isn't the Gryffindor/Slytherin match this weekend?"

"Yeah," Harry answered, not following.

Ginny stood up, held up her glass of pumpkin juice and addressed the rest of the table. "Attention! I propose a toast - to the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Good luck this weekend!"

Everyone dutifully picked up a glass of pumpkin juice, and toasted, even the girl with the water.

"Alright, ingenious idea," Draco conceded. "But what if they toasted with water?"

Ron, Hermione, Harry and Ginny stared at him as if he had just announced his plans to do the electric slide on the table. Ginny took pity on him. "It's bad luck to toast with water."

"Uh-huh. And everyone knows that but me?" Draco responded.

_"Apparently,"_ Snippy mumbled around a mouthful of chicken.

"Griff-gruff told us," Ginny offered. "And no one risks bad luck for the team. If you do, you have to go outside -- "

"And turn around three time," Ron added.

"And spit!" Hermione exclaimed.

"And curse!" Harry finished.

"Of course," Draco sighed. And of course, there were consequences for upsetting Griff-gruff. Usually in the 1,200 count Egyptian silk sheets arena.

"You guys are going to need all the luck you can get, Potter," sneered a new voice at the table. Marcus Flint stared imperiously down at the seated Gryffindors. "Draco's going to wipe the floor with you on Sunday - isn't that right, Draco?"

"It's my current plan," Draco smiled lazily.

"Is that so?" Harry challenged.

_"Trust me, Hero. I'll have you on the floor."_ Draco's eyes flashed, and Harry swallowed hard. Draco added for the human crowd, "This match is all mine."

"Too bad he'll be winning the game for Gryffindor," smirked Hermione.

_"Oooh, she's getting better at the witty comeback,"_ Snarky nodded in approval.

_"Even a blind badger finds the right plant every now and then," _Snippy returned.

"What's got your knickers in a twist, Granger? Still sore about getting into trouble in Potions?" Marcus cast her a disparaging once over. "Or is it that you're not good enough in the sack for Snape to give you better grades than Draco anymore? Stupid mudblood."

Draco wasn't quite sure what happened next. One minute he was contemplating the Quidditch Game and what it would be like to fly against Slytherin. Then Marcus had to open his big stupid mouth. Hermione's eyes filled with angry tears, he felt Harry tense beside him, and suddenly he was upset. Before Harry could get to his feet, Draco was on his. He punched Marcus right in the mouth and he went down like a sack of house elves.

"Bloody hell!" Marcus held a hand to his jaw.

_"Ohhh . . . that's not going to help that dental disfiguration issue of his,"_ commented Snippy.

_"Let's look on the bright side, it couldn't have made it that much worse,"_ Snarky shrugged.

Marcus stood, a toothy snarl on his face, blood dripping down his chin. Snippy and Snarky backed up a foot or so.

_"Damn!" _Snippy exclaimed.

_"Looks like I was mistaken."_ Snarky shuddered. _"I guess it had to happen eventually."_

"What is going on here!" Snape demanded, the first teacher to notice the disturbance. He had overheard the Flint boy's comments and was not sorry that he had gone down. He was however surprised that it was his prize pupil and not Potter that had taken matters into his own hands.

"Forgive me, sir," Draco smirked. He pulled Hermione close to his chest, like an adoring boyfriend. "But Marcus was making some inappropriate and ludicrous insinuations about you and my girlfriend. I lost my temper."

"Detention, this evening in my office, Mr. Malfoy," Snape snapped, his voice lacking true anger. "You, Mr. Flint will have detention with Mr. Filch for the next two weeks. Learn to respect your elders."

"Sir!" Marcus protested.

"Return to your table, and stay there, Mr. Flint. I'm sure there is plenty of sneering and bullying to be done at your own table," sighed Snape.

"Are you ok, crumb cake?" Troy approached from the other side of the cafeteria. He took in her up close and personal stance with Malfoy. "Can't be doing too bad there, huh, Muffin?"

"No, I'm ok, Dr. Troy. Thank you for asking."

"Sure thing, plum pudding." Dr. Troy smiled cheerfully at her. "How's your little project going?"

Hermione shot a quick look at Snape, who was glaring at Malfoy's arms around her. "Much better, thank you."

"Anytime, pumpkin." He winked at her and headed back up to the head table, where Oliver was waiting impatiently for him.

Hermione looked up at Draco, her face confused but grateful. "Thank you?"

"Was that a question or an expression of gratitude?" Draco grinned, still holding her in his arms. "Because I can think of a few other ways you can thank me."

"Ewww . . ." Hermione grimaced pushing him away.

"I can't help it - it's in my nature," Draco said unapologetically.

Snape smacked him lightly in the back of the head.

Still, Harry, Ginny and Ron were both looking at him with approving gazes, though Ron's still held a thread of suspicion.

"You know, Draco," Ginny smiled, punching him lightly in the arm. He stared at her, feeling a little shocked and rubbed his arm. "Maybe you're not as insufferable a bastard as I thought you were."

"You take that back!"

****

* * *

Hermione, Draco and Harry sat in Snape's office, tension filling the room. Severus had made them tea, but it sat untouched on the table before him.

"So, any special potions in this?" Harry asked, peering into his cup suspiciously.

"That's for me to know and you to find out," Snape smirked.

Harry looked at Hermione accusingly. She shrugged, "What? I told you he was funny."

"Uh-huh." Harry set his cup down and picked up the cup that Snape had poured for her, figuring it was safe.

"So, what do we do now?" Hermione asked, folding her hands in her lap.

"Now, we wait," Snape said ominously, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Shouldn't we wait in Gryffindor tower?" Harry questioned.

"Yes, because that would throw suspicion of our spy status off," Snape drawled. "Oh, Lucius, what are you doing here? Is this where you told me the attack would start? My mistake."

"I doubt he'll be sober enough to make it through the Hogwarts' shields," commented Draco lazily. He was anxious to get out of Snape's office and engage in more pleasurable activities.

"Don't underestimate your father, Draco," Snape warned. "There's a reason he's gotten as far as he has."

"Besides money, you mean?" Draco asked.

"Are there things about you that your father doesn't know, Draco? Does he have an accurate appreciation of your abilities?" Snape asked.

Draco stared mutinously back at his professor.

"Then let's assume that the same may be true of him." Snape wearily sat down in his favorite chair.

Harry met Draco's eyes, a question on his face. Draco shook his head briefly.

"Something you would like to share, Mr. Potter?" Snape asked shrewdly.

"No, sir." Harry replied politely, adding a few mental expletives as he hid his smile in Hermione's cup of tea.

Draco looked up, his expression slightly startled. "Such language, Hero!"

Hermione looked confused. "What language?"

Harry decided to change the subject. "So, think Ron will be ok by himself until we get there?"

"That was incredible subtlety there, Mr. Potter. Almost didn't notice you deflecting attention away from yourself." Snape rolled his eyes. "I'm sure Mr. Weasley will be just fine."

"Yeah, don't forget, Dr. Troy and Oliver are there with him," Hermione added gently.

"Yeah, they'll be fine . . ." Harry did not look reassured.

"I heard Sheldon say he would be there, too," Draco snorted. The room became silent for a moment.

"Maybe we should head that way, now," Hermione suggested.

"Good idea, Mr. Granger." Snape got to his feet, quickly heading for the door, the rest of them on his heels. "Good _idea_."

****

* * *

Lucius stepped from the fireplace in the Gryffindor Commons with a flourish. Various Gryffindors lounged around the area, unaware of what was coming. Ron, Dr. Troy and Oliver sat on the couch facing the fireplace. They jumped to their feet as Lucius cast the Dark Mark onto the ceiling.

"Here we go with the decorators from Hell," muttered Dr. Troy.

"Salutations," Lucius grinned evilly, raising his wand.

"Are you an Odor Eater?" Dr. Troy questioned. "I didn't expect his hair to be so shiny."

There was a small popping sound, and the shields around Hogwarts collapsed. Lucius gestured to the fireplace, now swirling with green flame. "Come, my friends. It's time."

"Got quite a flair for the dramatic, doesn't he?" Dr. Troy commented as Oliver and Ron raised their wands.

"It will not save him!" Sheldon announced and he leapt onto Lucius' head, tangling himself in his hair. "Ha-ha, take that, you blackguard!"

Death Eaters were now coming out of the flames, one by one until there were thirteen in all, counting Lucius. The younger Griffindors began to panic. Ron shouted over the din, "Back to your rooms and lock the doors!"

Oliver had moved to the stairs and was helping the younger students get through and shooting cover spells at the Death Eaters grinning maliciously by the fireplace.

Lucius managed to pull the book from his hair and tossed him onto a candelabrum, where he promptly caught fire. Sheldon shrieked girlishly and quickly dropped to the floor and began rolling to put the flames out. Lucius leapt over the couch and past a surprised Ron, who followed just a second behind, trying to stop him before he reached the line of students. Even as he reached forward, grabbing a form that had chosen to hide behind a nearby chair, Lucius commanded the Death Eaters, "Grab the mudbloods! Kill anyone who tries to stop you!"

"Stop right there, Malfoy!" Ron commanded, his wand pointed at Lucius' throat. "I don't like to use the Unforgiveables, but I'll get over it for you."

"Step back, Weasley," Lucius sneered, noting the tall gangly boy's red hair. When he turned around, he had Ginny wrapped in one arm, his wand digging into the skin under her chin. "There aren't any curses_ I_ don't like to use."

****

* * *

"I can't get the portrait open!" Hermione shouted. The Fat Lady had disappeared, and the password afforded no result. "Something's wrong!"

"Get back!" Harry grasped Hermione's shoulder and moved her out of the way.

"Mr. Potter, this is not the time for - " Snape trailed off.

Harry reached back, clasping Draco's hand in his. They shouted together, "OPEN!"

The portrait opened with an explosive bang. Snape and Hermione stared wide-eyed at them. Harry and Draco lost no time climbing through the portrait entrance. Neither had drawn their wand.

"What now?" Hermione asked, grasping her wand.

"Showtime," Snape looked at her gravely, offering her a hand through the opening.

He stared forward at the pair now casting spells in perfect sync, one after the other. The spells the Death Eaters cast back bounced off them like the boys were surrounded by their own wards. What in the hell was going on here? Before he had time to contemplate the matter any further, Death Eaters began Apparating out of the tower, a student clutched in each of their hands.

Hopefully Harry and Draco were creating enough chaos that they could not determine which were pureblood and which were not. If so, the Death Eaters would pause on the grounds to make sure they were bringing their Lord what he wanted. It might give them a little more time.

Looking back at Hermione, he swallowed tightly. Quickly, he cast a concealment charm over the both of them, and they set about casting spells as backup for Harry, Draco, and Oliver as Dr. Troy followed the last of the student up the stairs. In moments, the Death Eaters, including Lucius, had all Apparated out of the tower.

Hermione rushed to Harry's side. He stood beside Draco and in front of Ron, panting slightly from exertion. All three of their faces were grave.

Before she could say anything, Harry and Draco held out their hands and their respective brooms flew into them. Ron climbed on behind Harry, and Draco pulled Hermione unceremoniously onto his broom. Harry nodded. "Let's go."

"Are they gone?" She asked, breathlessly.

"Just outside," Draco said tightly.

As they flew out the tower window, Hermione saw that Snape, Oliver and Dr. Troy had already Apparated below and were facing off against the Death Eaters once more.

"Draco and I stopped them from Apparating, we think, but," Harry paused, looking over his shoulder at Ron.

"But what? What happened?" Hermione demanded as they touched down to rejoin the fight.

"It's Ginny," Ron whispered. "Lucius has Ginny."

"Oh, Merlin! Ron . . ." Hermione gasped.

"Not for long," Harry promised, and he and Draco took off across the grounds.

Dumbledore headed up a cadre of Phoenix Order members, teachers and Aurors, who were deftly disarming the Death Eaters and retrieving their captives. The Headmaster noted the Death Eaters inability to Apparate, despite the disarming charm they had cast on Howart's anti-apparition defences. There was no doubt in his mind that Harry and Draco were responsible for restoring the defences.

Dr. Troy and Oliver were collecting the rescued but frightened students, quickly moving them to a secure area behind the line of Aurors, trying to comfort them as much as possible. Griff-gruff, Rune, Hazelheart and even Snippy and Snarky waited with the students.

Lucius was struggling to get onto his broom, holding a squirming Ginny in one arm as she kicked desperately. As the boys watched, she ruthlessly bit into his wrist and elbowed him in his gut. He cast some spell at her and she slumped, limp in his arms. He settled her face down on his lap. Hovering on his broom he looked Ron in the eye and moved his hand indecently high on Ginny's leg. Ron thought he was going to vomit.

"What do you think, Hero?"

"Accio Ginny?" Harry shrugged, unsure of what spell to use.

Draco looked at him as if to say, 'You must be joking.' But after a second he realized that he didn't have a better idea.

"Accio Ginny!" They shouted together. She flew off Lucius's lap a little faster than they expected, and Snape appeared out of nowhere to catch her before she could hit the ground.

Enraged, Lucius drew his wand and pointed it at the girl cradled in Snape's arms. "Snape, you have gone too far!"

Hermione and Rune saw Lucius and realized his intentions instantly. They both ran towards Severus, trying desperately to get to him before Lucius could cast the spell. They screamed in one voice, "Severus!"

Hermione's throat tightened. Rune was just ahead of her. Would either of them make it in time?

Lucius screamed, "AVADA KEDAVRA!"

Harry saw the green flash fly by his head just as he and Draco turned to look at Snape and Ginny. He whispered to the blond, running at his side, "Did that hit - has somebody been hit?"

They came to a stop just beside where Snape held a sobbing Ginny in his arms, as they both stared at the ground, where Hermione lay next to Rune on the ground. Only one of them was moving.

Draco inhaled sharply as his eyes took in the one still figure. "No, Hero. Somebody's dead."

TBC . . .


	20. Ask Me

**TITLE:** Trading Spaces 20?

**RATING**: R (slash warning m/m)

**PAIRING:** HG/SS, HP/DM, HP/HG (friendship)

**A/N:** And say hello to the darkness, folks. Here it comes . . .

**SUMMARY:** Who the crap died! You'll find out. Also, sadness, ice cream, spider homicide and Snippy and Snarky!

**Chapter Twenty: Ask Me.**

****

* * *

Hermione slowly lifted her head, feeling like her brain was wrapped in jello. She looked over at the too still body of Rune, laying not even a foot away from her, a feeling of icy dread rising in her throat.

Snape barely noticed Ron rushing to take Ginny out of his arms as he hurried to Hermione's side. "Hermione, are you alright? Are you - dear Merlin, you're still alive."

Hermione carefully lifted Rune into her arms, cradling her limp body close to her chest. Her eyes filled with tears as she looked up at Snape. "She's dead."

"I know," he whispered gently, kneeling beside her. "But you're alright."

"But she's not," Hermione whispered fiercely, suddenly overwhelmed with empathy for the little feathered know-it-all. "She just wanted to help you, just wanted you to like her."

"Hermione . . ."

"I could have been nicer to her," she shook her head, before glaring up at him. "_You_ could have been nicer to her."

"I - " Snape snapped his mouth shut. The statement was true, and there was a fair amount of guilt nagging at him about his last words to her, dismissing her from his presence as if she was nothing more than an annoying pet. "She saved my life."

Hermione was now crying openly. "She's just . . . gone." She softly stroked one of the eagle's wing feathers. "No goodbye, no chance to save her, to bring her back . . . just nothing. Like she was never even here."

"That's how it happens. Two words and there's nothing left," a haunted voice behind her spoke up. Harry put a hand on Hermione's shoulder. "No goodbye, no tears, but no pain, Hermione. I . . . I think there's no pain."

"I believe you are correct, Mr. Potter." Dumbledore appeared as if out of thin air. He looked down at Hermione, who was holding Rune and crying steadily. "Oh dear. You had better give her to me."

"Can you save her, sir?" Hermione looked up, hope shining in her eyes, as Dumbledore took Rune from her. "Maybe Fawkes - "

"No, Miss Granger. I'm afraid there is nothing we can do. She's gone," Dumbledore said gently. "We'll have a funeral tomorrow."

Hermione allowed Snape to pull her to her feet. He could not help but draw her close to him, checking her over again and again to prove to himself that she was alive. She held on to him gratefully, feeling shaken to the core.

"Sir, are all the students safe? Did those - did the Death Eaters get away with anyone?" Harry inquired urgently.

"No, Harry, everyone is safe." Dumbledore looked down at him with speculative eyes. "Thanks to the quick work of you and Mr. Malfoy."

Harry nodded stiffly, trying not to acknowledge the part of himself that was disappointed there would not be more fighting to do tonight. He felt powerful, angry and full of restless energy. Draco appeared at his side, his eyes on the Headmaster and Rune. He gracefully bowed to Rune, who had always looked out for him because he was Snape's favorite. Then he turned to Harry. "Alright there, Hero?"

Harry's eyes flared. He could still feel the magic that was flowing between him and Draco, and when the blond was close to him it was almost overpowering. "Alright, Malfoy."

"Why don't you two take a walk around the lake, make sure the perimeters are secure?" Dumbledore asked with a knowing look.

"I'm not sure sending two students to secure the perimeters is the best course of action," Snape spoke up.

"I'm certain they will be fine," Dumbledore replied in his 'this is final' voice. "Why don't you take Miss Granger back to the Slytherin Common Room and check on the other students in your house?"

Snape drew himself up taller, not liking the tone in the Headmaster's voice, but slumped back down in the next minute. He did need to check on his house, and all he wanted in the world was to take Hermione back to his private quarters and assure himself that she was indeed alive and well. He decided to take advantage of Dumbledore's largesse and do what he had intended to do anyway. "As you wish."

As soon as Oliver and Dr. Troy had led the last student back into the castle, Dumbledore carried Rune's body over to the other mascots waiting patiently for him. Carefully he set her down on the ground in front of them. Hazelheart sat down, hung his head and cried.

Griff-gruff lifted his head a noble inch. "She was brave in her last moments. She died a hero's death."

Snippy and Snarky patted Hazelheart on his back with their tails. Snippy murmured, _"It'sss ok, little guy, let it out."_

Snarky sighed, sadly. _"She was annoying and too brainy. She threatened usss non-stop - "_

_"I liked that about her,"_ Snippy cut in.

_"She was in love with Snape, and even joined up with the evil book to get what she wanted,"_ Snarky continued.

_"You have to admire that kind of ambition,"_ Snippy added.

_"But most of all, she was one of us."_ Snarky hid the tear that slid down his little face.

"She always looked after her students. And she was always trying to help me learn things." Hazelheart wiped at his eyes with one fuzzy paw. "Like better ways to grow things, and how much sunlight and water I needed. She was a good friend, man. Loyal through and through. She shouldn't have gone down like this." Hazelheart set a paw on her head. "Goodbye, little feathered dudette."

_"Goodbye,"_ Snippy and Snarky whispered together.

"Goodbye, Rune," Griff-gruff said solemnly.

****

* * *

"Yeah, you're going to see all the baddies coming with your eyes on your toesies," Draco drawled sarcastically, as he and Harry trekked along the lake.

"What?" Harry whispered, not really paying attention.

"What's got your knickers in a twist, Potter?"

"She's dead." Harry continued to walk, staring at the ground before him.

"Rune?" Draco tried to hold back his confusion. "Forgive me, I know it's sad and all, but I wasn't under the impression that you were all that attached to her."

Harry remained silent.

"But this isn't about attachment, is it? It's not about Rune, it's about death." Draco stated.

Harry nodded almost imperceptibly.

"Death is never easy," Draco offered, contemplating this intense, dark-haired boy beside him.

"I wouldn't say that," Harry replied darkly.

"No?"

"No."

"I suppose you would know." Draco paused finding himself once more in his father's shielded place by the lake. "I wonder if he even remembers this place."

"I doubt it," Harry replied bitterly, the thought simply passing his lips without examination as they came to a stop. "He probably used it for drunken orgies with underage girls."

"You sounded like me just then," Draco whispered softly. "Did you mean to?"

"No."

Harry began walking briskly around the lake again, his arms crossed over his chest. Draco followed just a pace behind him, studying him under lowered lashes. "Alright there, Hero?'' He asked again.

''We should go after them. I can't believe we just let them go,'' Harry muttered.

"What did you want to do, Potter? Kill my father?"

Harry didn't answer.

"I see." Draco was taken aback. "There is very little love lost between my father and me, but I'm not sure I want him dead.''

Harry stopped walking. "I'm just so . . . so . . ."

"Angry?"

"Yes."

"Tense?"

"Yes."

"In the mood to kill something?"

"_Yes_," Harry whispered intensely.

"If I could produce Voldemort for you to kill, I would, Hero," Draco offered, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Should we look for some hapless spiders instead?"

"I don't want to kill him," Harry said softly.

"All evidence to the contrary," Draco replied mockingly.

"Death is too easy, too quick." Harry stared off across the lake, his mind lost to a time he could barely remember. "It's like Hermione said, they're here and then they're just gone, in an instant. No long goodbye, no chance to - "

"Save them?"

"To make them suffer. No pain." Harry said darkly. "Voldemort doesn't deserve an easy death."

Draco casually sprawled on the bank of the lake, thinking to himself that Harry was just pumped full of adrenaline, that when the time came he would not have the stomach for the kinds of things he was suggesting now. Harry stood in front of him.

"Then you don't know me as well as you think you do." Harry's voice held a heavy sincerity. He was unconcerned with convincing Draco of what he had said. His tone rang with an inevitability that promised to prove his conviction. Soon.

"You can read my thoughts," Draco stated, instead of confronting the issue that Harry had raised. "I had a suspicion."

"Well, if it isn't Mr. Change the Topic," Harry sat down next to Draco, his eyes idly following the path of an ant colony a foot away from him.

"I knew you had a dark side, Hero. I just didn't expect you to admit it so quickly." Draco watched as Harry pulled his wand from his pocket and began twirling it in his left hand.

"A dark side? Is that what's wrong with me? Is that why you and I . . ."

"Is that why you and I what, Potter? Are connected? Are Symmetrius?" Draco questioned. "I don't know. Maybe it's our connection that gives you your dark side. Maybe it comes from me."

"That's not quite what I meant," Harry muttered. He aimed at one of the ants, whispering, "Avada Kedavra." The ant rolled onto its back, dead. He pointed at the next ant. It met its fate as well. Then another and another.

"What are you trying to say, Hero? That it takes a dark side to lo - to be attracted to me?" Draco was deceptively calm, his eyes fixed on the small pile of dead insects at Harry's feet. He hoped Harry had not noticed his momentary slip of tongue.

Harry turned to meet his stormy grey eyes. Draco swallowed, knowing that Harry could tell what he had been about to say. Harry's verdant green eyes burned. "You're a coward, Malfoy."

"Compared to the golden boy of Gryffindor? That's hardly an important distinction," Draco replied dismissively.

"You know what I meant." Harry continued to stare directly into his eyes. Draco felt his gaze as if it pierced him to the bone. "Admit it."

"Admit what? That I want you?" Draco leapt to his feet. "It's not much of a secret, if you couldn't have figured it out after last night . . . and this afternoon . . ."

"You mean when we blew out the power in Hogwarts last night?" Harry slowly climbed to his feet. "Last summer at the Quidditch World Cup, I got angry. Every light in our tent blew when Hermione and Ron tried to stop me from leaving."

"I get it Potter, you're a custodial nightmare for the school," Draco drawled caustically, his stance guarded.

"Is it the power that draws you to me? Is that all you want from me?" Harry questioned.

"I - I don't know how to answer that question." Draco stared back at him.

"You mean you're not sure which lie to use," Harry accused bitterly.

"I told you before, I don't lie to you, Hero."

"Then tell me, Malfoy. What are you doing with me?" Harry slowly began circling the blond. "What do you want from me? The strength to get back at your father? Or is it something else?"

"I don't know," Draco whispered fiercely.

"You do know." Harry stopped in front of him, placing his hands on Draco's shoulders. "You know and you're afraid to admit it."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't I? I can almost read it - there in your head, something you don't want to tell me, something you don't want to admit to yourself." Harry's piercing green eyes captured Draco; it was impossible for him to move away. "What is it? What do you want from me?"

"Would you give it to me if I asked?" Draco said suddenly. "Does it matter?"

"Yes."

"To which question?"

"Both."

"You're lying."

"You won't know until you ask, Draco," Harry's voice caressed the name as he spoke it. "Ask me."

****

* * *

Severus stood in the shadows, a heavy glass goblet in his hand. His hand shook a little as he brought the brandy to his mouth. Not even the sweet fire of the liquor could erase the images in his mind. For several horrific seconds he thought Hermione had died. She had been willing to give up her life in order to save his. Severus couldn't articulate how that made it him feel. The closest he came was a mixture of pride, anger, and mind numbing fear.

"She's dead," Hermione said sadly. "She's really dead."

"Yes, she is," Severus confirmed calmly. "Just like that. "

"I think I'm going to miss her. I mean, she really resented me because she loved you so much, but I can't hold that against her. Who could be around you and not have a crush on you?"

"You would be surprised," Severus said, his eyes far away.

"I wish you had been nicer to her. She only decided to work with the book to get your attention. Rune really didn't mean to- "

"Silence!"

"Severus?" Hermione asked, a tremble in her voice that almost broke his heart. He hadn't been able to look at her since they had both retired to his chambers. He seemed to be wrapped up in his own internal drama.

"You are a very stupid girl."

"What?"

Severus snatched her up and shook her. "You could have died!"

"But I didn't."

"You are never, _ever _to risk yourself for me again! I forbid it."

Hermione was wide-eyed at his reaction. "I thought if I got there in time, I could-"

"What? Die in my stead? You aren't the annoying bespectacled prodigy of James Potter, you cannot deflect the killing curse."

"I'm one of those heroic Gryffindor types. We don't really think that far ahead," she shot back.

"Not anymore you're not," Severus said gravely. "You are in my House and you will abide by my rules."

"Or you'll what?" Hermione shouted, shaking off his hands. "Take away some House points for saving your life? Give me a detention? I couldn't let you die."

"Even at the expense of your own life? Hermione, I don't deserve it. If you knew the things I've done..."

"I don't have to. After what I've experienced, I can pretty much guess what you did. That isn't you anymore, Severus. You've changed."

"Have I?" Severus stalked away from her and into the den. He seized a book from a nearby shelf and tossed it at her. "Then why have I been thinking about using this for the past twenty minutes."

Hermione's eyes rounded. "Severus, this book is infamous. There's a spell in here that would-"

"Completely obliterate a set of people? Simply choose a characteristic and make your potion. A small scale genocide can be relatively simple with this text."

"I didn't even know this existed. I thought it was a myth or a legend. Where did-"

"Does it matter? I acquired that book during my Death Eater days. Do you have any idea what I planned on doing with it? "

"I don't want to know," Hermione said quietly. "I think you are missing the point, Severus. You didn't do anything with it, did you?"

"Only because I never had the opportunity to."

"You are very quick to point out all of the awful things you've done. You've always been honest with me. What you fail to point out are the good things you've done."

"Hermione, I'm a very bad man. I'm a danger to you."

"I don't think you are. I think you are a good man who has done some bad things."

"That's one rosy hued, naive interpretation of what I've done."

"Will you give over? I've had enough of the 'I'm-such-a-bad-person' diatribe."

"You _really _don't want to test me."

Hermione gave him the most seductive smile she could. "Don't I?"

****

* * *

Snarky slithered nearer to the fireplace in Slytherin House. The mascots were having a meeting called by Griff-gruff who considered himself to be their leader.

_"I friggin' hate this castle,"_ Snippy bitched. _"Big old pervert chasing us with his stick. Death Eaters bustin' in and kidnapping first years and then killin' innocent mascots. This place sucks."_

"I don't think it's the place as much as those Death Eater dudes," Hazelheart said sagely. "I mean whoa ... have you ever seen such heavy auras?"

_"You know what we need?" _Snarky asked. _"A big honkin' bodyguard like Rambo or something."_

Griff-gruff sighed. "Can we please focus? I have called us to order so that we may discuss our newest member."

"Dude, who got fired?" Hazelheart asked. "I mean, I know I like the herbal refreshments and all but I thought that was cool as long as I keep it on the quiet tip."

"Nobody's getting fired," Griff-gruff sighed more heavily.

_"Are we talking about the book, cuz he is NOT becoming an official member -"_ Snarky started, eyes wide.

"SHUT UP!" Griff-gruff roared. "One of Rune's cousins is coming to take her place tomorrow!"

_"Dude, you don't have to shout."_ Snippy glared at him.

_"Yeah, rude much?"_ Snarky added.

"For Godric's sake, you two could test the patience of a saint." Griff-gruff rolled his eyes.

_"Do you, like, have a point that you might be getting to sssssoon?" _Snarky asked. _"Because we're getting hungry over here."_

Haze quickly produced a bag of Doritos. "Here, try these, my dudes. They hold my munchies off pretty well."

Snippy and Snarky dived into the bag with gusto, emerging again, mouths ballooned out with chips, a fine coat of orange dust on their scales. _"Sweeeet."_

"Now, if the two of you have stuffed your gobs enough, may we please continue? Dumbledore has arranged a welcome feast for tomorrow evening. I would like for us to gather at ten to meet him at the train station."

_"Why are we meeting Dumbledore at the train station?"_ Snippy asked. _"He never brings us enough candy."_

"Not Dumbledore, the new mascot." Griff-gruff glared at him.

_"Wait, we're meeting him at the train station at ten o'clock at night AFTER the welcome feast? That's not right,"_ Snarky commented.

_"Oh, well, more feast for us!"_ Snippy grinned.

"No, ten in the MORNING!" Griff-gruff shouted.

"Dude, that's like so early." Haze groaned. "Can we make it say noonish, maybe? I have this whole thing about getting up early."

"NO!"

_"He really does need to work on that whole volume control thing," _Snippy swallowed heavily, licking Dorito dust off his lips.

Snarky rolled his little beady eyes. _"We just don't want to listen to him, we're not deaf. Geez, learn the difference."_

"Shut up, Snakes!"

_"Yeah, cuz _we're_ the loud ones,"_ Snarky rolled his eyes. _"We outta here."_

Snippy flipped him off with his tail as he snagged the bag of Doritos and followed Snarky to the door._ "Uh, Snarky?"_

_"Yes, Snippy?"_

_"We live here. This is our House."_

_"Oh, right then,"_ Snarky said. They both turned and looked at the other mascots pointedly. _"Ahem."_

_"Ahem,"_ Snippy said louder when nobody moved.

Griff-gruff sighed one final time. "Hazelheart, shall we?"

"Dude, I'm uh, staying here." Haze smiled and whispered, "They have my Doritos."

Griff-gruff left with his head held high. He might not have won this round, but the snakes were in for a nasty surprise one day soon, just after they got a little too comfortable.

The snakes stuck their little forked tongues out at him.

****

* * *

"Ask you what, Potter? When you lost your freaking mind? Because that's the only question I can think of right now," Draco bit back waspishly.

"You can pretend all you like, Draco," Harry whispered. "But I know better."

"Do you?" Draco stared back at him imperiously. "You think you know me that well?"

Harry smiled lazily and his voice sounded in Draco's head. 'I do.'

Draco fought the inclination to gasp. The sound of Harry's voice inside his mind on purpose had a wholly different feel than the thoughts he had gleaned from him. It shook him to the core. There was something strange and dangerous about Harry tonight. "How did you do that?"

"It was easy." Harry's eyes flashed. "A lot of things are now."

"Maybe all I want from you is sex." Draco shrugged, trying to look casually though his clenched fists gave it away.

"I thought you didn't lie to me, Draco." Harry appeared to focus for a moment, then shook his head. "What are you hiding from me?"

"Stay out of my head, Hero. I don't need saving."

"You need something from me. Maybe just need me." Harry was still staring at him. "And if I could stay out of your head - hell, stay away from you at all, I would."

"What are you expecting, Potter? Hearts and roses?"

"The only thing I ever really expect from you - the truth," Harry stated honestly. "I _know_ that you want something from me."

"If you think I'm in love with you, you're setting yourself up for disappointment," Draco sneered. Despite the cool exterior he was trying to show Harry, his blood was boiling. He was angry, and tingling from the magic he felt whenever he was close to Harry. He felt desperate to reach out and touch him, to ... do something frantic and crazy and needy. He resisted. "I'm not the type."

"No, you're not." Harry said softly. His eyes flared as he felt Draco's emotions, so close to his own, flood through his mind. It almost buckled his knees, but he held it together. He needed to know the answers to these questions.

"So, what - you're in love with me now, is that it?" Draco asked harshly, his voice barely betraying a twinge of vulnerability.

"You want me to be," Harry replied evenly, resisting the urge to close the distance between them and pull Draco into a heated embrace, to kiss the defensive smirk off his face. "You want me to love you."

"Is that so? You sure _that's_ what I want from you?" Draco asked softly, dangerously. "You think I care how you feel about me?"

"I do."

"Do what?'

Harry smiled enigmatically. "You figure it out."

Draco gave into temptation.

****

* * *

From the moment she saw it, Hermione had been fascinated by Severus' bedchamber. The room was decadent and seemed custom made for a seduction scene.

"Kiss me," she begged, tilting her head back.

Severus was mesmerized by the glinting firelight reflected in her eyes. "You look beautiful," he said hoarsely. "Far too beautiful to be real."

"I'm all too real, Severus." He seemed darker in this room, somehow, as though all the magic and mayhem that Salazar Slytherin had started had concentrated in this very room.

Severus took her mouth with his. He felt as if he'd been anticipating this moment forever. Trying to pull together the last vestiges of his restraint, he pushed away, his breath coming in harsh pants. She could see him struggling with his composure. "I love you, Hermione. Too much to do this with you."

Her breath caught. "I love you, too. And I warned you that I'm done with this former Death Eater stuff. We love and want each other, we're both consenting adults, and you aren't pulling the proverbial wool over my eyes. I know who and what you are and what you've done. I accept it and I love you anyway."

"And I want you." Severus smiled at her. "Come here, I want to undress you."

"I'm glad you finally came to your senses."

"You're about to take leave of yours." Severus prowled closer. He whispered, "Lay back on the bed."

With a carnal smile on her face, she complied.

****

* * *

Biting her lip, Hermione eased out of Severus' big bed. He was curled on his side, with the covers wrapped around his waist. She thought this might be the best night of her life. Only one thing would make it more perfect.

She had a wicked craving for something fattening, but didn't want to disturb him. He looked beatific, as though somehow she'd made him whole, washed away his sins with her love. A fanciful notion, perhaps, but it made her footfalls lighter as she carefully made her way to the kitchens.

Hermione sat at a table in the middle of the kitchen. A tub of Bertie Bott's every flavor bean ice cream was placed directly in front of her. She held a spoon in one hand, which she stabbed into the tub of sweets and brought to her mouth to lick on distractedly. In between bites, she hummed a jaunty tune. She thought she'd gotten the trick to avoiding the earwax, sardine, and vomit jellybeans. Basically, she avoided all suspicious looking colors and the ice cream in the bean's immediate vicinity.

The double doors to the kitchen area banged open and in walked Harry and Draco. Both young men were silent, with slightly stony expressions. Slight abrasions, bite marks and scratches were visible on their necks and faces, usually an indicator of a fight, but these days . . . Well, their bodies radiated a tight pressure that was easy to read. Hermione waved her spoon airily at them. "Boys."

"Hey Hermione," Harry sighed wearily. "That ice cream?"

"It's not salad," she smiled lazily. "Can I conjure you a spoon?"

Harry briefly met Draco's eyes, finding a warmth and need for comfort that touched him, despite the tension between them. "Two, please."

Slowly the boys sat down around the table, Harry across from Hermione, Draco at the head of the table. Draco picked up a spoon. "Thanks, Granger."

"You made out with me in the middle of Gryffindor Common Room. You can call me Hermione," she suggested. "And you're welcome."

"You seem rather . . . mellow." Harry looked at her. "Have you been hanging out with Haze again?"

"Harry, please." She protested. "Long day, I'm drained."

"Yeah, you look pretty _spent_," Draco commented, raising an eyebrow. "What have you been up to?"

"What are you implying?" She responded, though she couldn't quite call up the energy to sound as offended as she'd like to. Draco merely smirked at her in response. Harry looked from Draco to Hermione and then back again, suspicion suddenly clouding his gaze.

"Hermione!" He gasped. "No, please tell me you did not!"

"Didn't what?" Hermione asked with a false wide-eyed expression.

"Didn't - didn't - " Harry eyes widened. "You know - with Snape."

"Wouldn't you like to know?" She smirked lazily and licked the back of her spoon.

"No, you couldn't have - " Harry shook his head. "You wouldn't! Sure, I know that you two were big on the inappropriate flirting and the requisite touching, but I thought you'd hold out until you graduated or at least until you came to your senses. My brain won't accept this."

"That's called denial, Potter." Draco shot a look over at Hermione. "It's usually followed by anger."

"Shut up, Malfoy!"

"Anger," Draco nodded at Hermione. "Was it good for you?"

"Don't you dare answer that question." Harry warned, taking a big scoop of ice cream.

"So where is _Professor _Snape?" Draco asked, emphasizing the title to provoke Hermione.

"Gosh, I don't know," Hermione simpered. "In his bed?"

"Where you left him?" Draco leered at her, enjoying her playful mood. "You know, Granger, you're rather pleasant post-coital."

"Just stop!" Harry begged.

"Aren't you presumptuous?" Hermione shot back. "May I inquire into your nocturnal activities, or need I bother? Tell me, just how long does it take to patrol the perimeter?"

Draco and Harry shot half guilty-half amused looks at each other, answering as one, "'Bout an hour and fifty-seven minutes."

She raised her eyebrows and smiled at them. "And if I told you that you were gone three hours and fifty-four minutes?"

"Twice," Draco smirked wickedly.

"Oh," Hermione blushed. "My." She looked at Draco. "That was rather forthcoming."

Draco opened his mouth to reply and Harry stopped him. "Do NOT go there." Draco simply smirked wider and sat back, crossing his arms over his chest.

For a moment, the three teenagers sat in silence, eating quietly, content for the moment to be hungry and not alone. The door banged open and Ginny and Ron walked through the door this time. Harry and Hermione each raised a hand. "Guys!"

"Weasleys," Draco offered.

Ginny and Ron nodded in greeting and quickly joined the table. Ron sat next to Harry and Ginny sat across from Draco at the other end of the table. Ginny looked at the blond. "Spoons?"

Draco waved a hand and two spoons appeared. The youngest Weasleys wasted no time in digging in. Living with so many siblings had taught them expediency.

"So . . . what's going on?" Ron asked.

"Ice-cream," mumbled Harry.

"Draco and Harry patrolled the perimeter," Hermione offered.

"Really?" Ginny asked around a mouthful of ice cream.

"Twice," Draco replied, stabbing his spoon in the tub again.

Ron looked shrewdly between Draco and Harry, and then narrowing his eyes, shook his head at them. Resolutely, he refused to examine the comment. "We just got back from the Hospital Wing. Madame Pomfrey says Ginny's fine."

"Yeah, aside from a lingering sense of the creeps from being felt up by that blond slimeball, Malfoy, I'm peachy with a side of keen."

Draco winced a little, "Sorry my father tried to abduct you and molest you on a broom."

She glared at him, but conceded, "Not your fault."

"Well, that's a nice change, isn't it?" Draco smiled cheerfully, taking another bite. For another moment, they lapsed again into companionable silence. They weren't quite all friends. But they were all a little sad. A little tense. And all in it together. And that was enough.

"What have you been doing Hermione?" Ron asked, ignoring Malfoy.

"Snape," Draco grinned.

"Tattler." She spit back.

"Tramp," he grinned.

"Pot. Kettle." She pointed at him. "Black."

Draco gasped as if in outrage. "Me?" She should get laid more often he thought. She was actually kind of funny when she relaxed.

"Twice," Harry smirked.

"Please," Ron pleaded, putting his hand over his eyes.

"Eat," Ginny commanded, handing him his spoon and hiding a smile.

Draco examined the near empty tub and waved his hand. Two more appeared. "More?"

The group smiled back eagerly. "More!"

****

* * *

Harry turned toward the dungeons, his mind swimming with two many half-formed thoughts, too many emotions to understand. His stomach so full of ice cream that he kept shivering, his body struggling to get warm again.

"Oi, Potter! Wait up!" Draco called, exiting the kitchens a moment after him.

"Yes, Draco?" Harry smirked, turning to lean casually against the wall.

Draco quickly caught up with him, leaning into the angle between the wall and Harry. His gray eyes swirled with heat like molten steel. "Care for some company . . . to escort you home?"

"Not tonight," Harry said gently, though his eyes were too distracted for the comfort to portray more than casual civility.

"Why? You got something better to do, Hero?" Draco asked lazily, his calmness masking the icy sting of rejection. He had never been told 'no' before. Not really. "Kill some insects are something?"

"I need to be alone for awhile."

"You know, those sort of activities are actually better with company." Draco was on the verge of pouty now.

"Good evening, Draco," Harry dismissed him and continued on his way to his rooms. Draco glared after him mulishly for a moment, before setting his jaw and striding towards the stairs to Gryffindor Tower.

Harry took his time along the way, walking slowly, his head bowed in contemplation. Methodically he twirled his wand through his fingers. There was a large black ball of tension lodged in his stomach. It twisted and turned spasmodically. The outer layer was filled with anger and resentment. Anger at Fate that made him the golden boy; anger at Voldemort for taking away everything that might have made the first ten years of his life something other than a hell of misery and loneliness. Anger at Lucius Malfoy for being a Death Eater and treating his son the way he did.

Under that was a layer of need. Hunger for power to exact the revenge his anger howled for. And under that was a layer of fear and disquiet; terror, that if he received the power he so hungered for, the power that seemed to lay in wait somewhere inside him, that he would lose control. He would kill Voldemort, his followers, then his sympathizers, then his distant cousins, his gardener and so forth until Harry was Voldemort. And even deeper still, at the core of his tension was a part of him that simply did not give a damn. The part of him that knew how powerful he would be, how destructive he could be, and gloried in every moment of it, relished it, anticipated it. Knew that if he really let go, nothing could stop him.

As he entered the Slytherin Common Room, Harry saw something scamper behind him, he pivoted, pulling his wand and whispering, "Avada Kedavra."

A small spider lay dead at his feet.

_"Watch it there, Harry!"_ Snippy poked his head out from behind a large vase. _"You could have gotten some poor, hapless, innocent snake there!"_

_"Yeah, no more mascots should be exposed to crosss-fire,"_ hissed Snarky, poking his head up through the vase he had been curled in.

_"Why, you've seen some innocent snakes around here somewhere, have you?"_ Harry smirked.

_"Uh, hello! We're standing right here."_ Snippy rolled his eyes, and turned to Snarky.

_"And I suppose you two weren't just terrorizing that poor little spider to death?"_ Harry asked.

_"Well, actually we were just terrorizing it. The 'to death' part was all yours,"_ Snippy beamed at him. _"Sssanks."_

_"S'up Harry? What's with you casting death curses all over the halls in the middle of the night?"_ Snarky requested. _"Cuz, dude, that's not cool."_

But Harry was already gone, the door leading to the Prefects chamber closing with an ominous click.

_"You think he's okay?"_ Snippy queried.

_"Okay? Sure, if by okay, you mean slightly homicidal and completely friggin' bonkers. Then he's the definition of ok,"_ Snarky commented.

_"Oh, man. You think he's going to do something incredibly Gryffindor?"_ Snippy asked. _"You know, something really, really - "_

_"Stupid?"_ Snarky interrupted.

_"Exactly."_

_"With Gryffindors, stupidity is inevitable. The question is, when?" _Snarky sniffed. _"And what?"_

_"Think we should tell the candy man?"_

_"He won't understand us,"_ Snarky said sadly.

_"I know! We'll tell the sex-god! He'll keep Harry busy!"_ Snippy nodded. Then he shuddered. _"Maybe we can get them to do that in Gryffindor House."_

_"We can only hope."_

_"Well, c'mon, time to go to the Headmaster's office."_

_"For what?"_

_"Candy." _Snarky shook his head. _"Duh."_

****

* * *

Harry quietly closed the door behind him. Heaving a sigh, he fell back on his bed. And promptly hit his head on something solid.

"Ow." He glared at the small volume he pulled out from under his pillow. Draco's Journal. "Hmmm."

Harry had been locked in his own head for awhile. He decided to take a walk in someone else's. He smiled as he flipped past the childish scrawl he had started to read earlier. Many pages had been filled with diatribes about how much he hated Harry, how much he was disgusted by Crabbe and Goyle and how great and mean his father was. With interest Harry skipped ahead to some of the later years, as Draco became a full-fledged teen. Here again he found descriptions of how much Draco hated Harry, but now they were interspersed with comments on what Harry looked like and descriptions of erotic dreams that featured him. They often started with a fight and ended with . . . well. Some of which were graphically detailed and complete with sketches that moved. Harry found himself blushing.

Now he moved on to the more recent entries.

_First day of my last year and I'm a bloody Gryffindor. Irony has taken on new meaning. Completed annual test of journal. Father has hidden no evil warlord personalities within . . . _

Harry smiled, bemused at the worries of being a Malfoy. He thought back to his second year, and the journal Malfoy Sr. had given Ginny Weasley. Harry really couldn't blame Draco for being cautious.

_Potter has the room that was supposed to be mine. Seems everything happens that way. Potter has been acting very strangely. Seems to be talking to Snippy and Snarky a lot. They must be thrilled to have someone that understands whatever the hell they're saying. Still, that much snake conversation can't be good for one's sanity. Besides, something undeniably appealing about hearing Potter speak parseltongue. Everytime he speaks, I want to . . ._

Harry couldn't help but blush again. Damn those sketches.

_Symmetrius. What a welcome surprise. And yet it comes with the ring of inevitability._

Harry rolled his eyes. Draco's flair for Drama seemed to find wings in his Journal writing.

_Here is the chance I have been waiting for. Power. Enough power to get out on my own. To tell the Death Eaters exactly where they can put their little offers and Dark Marks, right up their . . ._

And still plenty of that pent-up rage that made his careful sarcasm sting so much.

_Potter hasn't realized his own potential yet. Naïve little boy still playing the hero. What's worse is I think he actually believes all that Golden Boy bullshit. But I see something more than that. I see something his friends pretend they don't. Potter's full up on darkness. There is within him the potential for greatness, just like Tom Riddle._

Harry frowned.

_Potter is the proverbial butterfly, and he has no bloody clue. He thinks if he beats his wings softly enough, nothing will change, nothing more will happen to him. He won't admit to himself how much darkness there is inside him, and what kind of power that darkness could give him access to. It's actually amazing that he hasn't gone completely round the bend, what with him being responsible for his parent's death, and that Diggory fellow, too. All those times, coming up against the Dark Lord, and he's failed to kill him every time. It's his own fault. He's just scared._

Harry clenched his fists, his mind ringing with phrases like, "That's not true, and even if it were, that's not fair!" But there was a new, mocking drawl in his head that told him to grow up. Resolutely, he read on.

_If I can just tap into that darkness. Stir up his passions, get him to use his power . . . it'll cause an explosion. Potter's a powder keg, just rearing to blow. And I intend to be the one who lights the fuse. Not sure if he'll come back from that or not. He's full of power that is now at my disposal as Symmetrius. I can use him to circumvent Father's plans and destroy Riddle. Get the bugger with his creepy snake-face off my back and out of my living room when I come home for the break. Potter'll be the saviour of the Wizarding World once again, just like he always is. Or he'll be the worst Dark Lord since Grindewald. _

Harry took a deep, steadying breath. Draco had said a lot of this before. But somehow, seeing it so coldly written out and backed with Draco's less than noble intentions bothered him.

_Then again, there are benefits to a Dark Potter. He's infinitely more exciting. And useful._

Harry closed the book. He would read no more. This is what Draco wanted from him? A villain? A power-junkie bent on death and destruction? Harry set his jaw. Then he would get one.


	21. Hush

**Title:** Trading Spaces 21

**Rating:** M or "R", for those of you who prefer the olden days.

**Pairing: H/D, Hr/Sn. (slash, m/m – you've been fairly warned, if you're offended, you wanted to be.**

**References:** Doodle quote – Joss Whedon

**Chapter Twenty-One: Hush.**

****

* * *

"MY PAGES ARE SINGED!" Sheldon fumed outside the Potions classroom. "This is unacceptable!"

The hall around him was eerily silent. Most of the students were holed up in their houses, pondering the weird happenings of the past few days and their connection to the Death Eater raid, news of which had spread like wildfire throughout the school.

"Poor, poor Rune. Killed trying to protect an evil colleague. It's all my fault," The book sniffed miserably. "If I wasn't so darn good at being evil, she wouldn't have been tempted." Sheldon straightened his spine. What was he doing? Moping? Evil did not mope! Evil took action!

"That's it! I've had it, Moldy Wart! You're done! You hear me? DONE!"

_"Well, sssstick a fork in him and stop shouting then,"_ Snippy snickered, slithering into view.

_"You're going to defeat the Dark Lord? You?"_ Snarky scoffed. _"Funny, you don't look like a four-eyed, scarred Gryffindor."_

_"Yeah, Harry'sssss going to be the one to defeat Voldemort. Everyone knows that."_

"What? Says who?" Sheldon demanded. "Why?"

_"Only Harry can defeat Voldemort. About a dozen prophecies and the candy man. Because it's Destiny."_ Snippy thought about it for a minute before adding, _"So there."_

"Fine, if it's Destiny, it's Destiny." Sheldon decided. "And I'll help him."

****

* * *

Harry stood in front of the mirror in his bathroom. His skin had taken on an inhuman bluish pallor. Dark smudges under his eyes attested to the sleep he had not gotten. Yet the effect was nearly ethereal. Perhaps it was the glow that seemed to be emanating from inside him. Not enough to startle, just to shine. He was dressed in black leather dragon-hide pants, a gift from Charlie Weasley two Christmas' back. He wore a deep, hunter green sweater that made his eyes seem deeper and brighter. Despite choosing the warmest clothing he owned, he was still freezing, as if there was a block of ice somewhere deep inside, a blizzard snow-blinding his soul.

Slowly he left the room. His movements languorous and easy, concealing the tightly leashed fury that had been burning in his chest, since he had read Draco's words last night.

"Harry, man, how arrrre you?" It was Haze, apparently just hanging out in the middle of the floor.

"Fine. Are you lost?"

"No, just indecisive." Haze screwed up his face. "I was going to paint a welcome sign for the new mascot. But I need a snack." He glanced heavily down both sides of the hallway. "Don't know which way to go now - the sign or the snack."

"Snack," Harry replied. "Take it with you."

"Right! Like, to go, man. Brilliant." Haze beamed at him. Then a look of concern crossed his little face. "You ok, Harry? You seem . . . different. It's almost like . . . woah . . . like your aura changed, man."

"I'm fine."

"Dude, where's Draco?" Haze asked, a thought occurring to him.

"What? Why?"

"How long have you been away from your Symmetrius, man?"

"How did you - never mind. Everything's fine. Don't worry," Harry tried to sound calming.

"Ok, but dude - you're uh, blue."

"I'm fine." Harry fought the urge to grit his teeth.

"Well, where are you off to, my glowy dude? You look like you could use a little sleep . . . or a little herb . . ." Haze suggested.

"First, the room of requirement." Harry turned, heading off once more. He smirked to himself, "Then Gryffindor Tower."

Haze nodded grimly to himself. He had to find Draco. Now.

****

* * *

Harry entered to room of requirement, finding it contained everything he needed. As always. The room was filled with Boggarts in cages. And in the center, the sword of Gryffindor lay shining on a small altar. He picked up the blade and it seemed to gleam brighter. His eyes flashing green fire he pulled the sword from its sheath and it sang.

"Open," he whispered. The cages complied and he was faced with thirty Lucius Malfoys. "Bring it on."

He moved forward with a newfound grace. His movements seemed choreographed as he danced through his enemies. His sword arced through the air, the steel gleaming and whistling, as he slashed. As he defeated each Lucius, the boggarts took on the form of Voldemort. His dark grin widened. He knew he could defeat them all with a simple, "Ridiculus!" but he wanted the practice. He wanted the release.

Suddenly the boggart in front of him changed shape. It became Harry Potter. But this Harry Potter carried a sense of power and darkness unknown. Harry took a deep breath as he faced his worst fear. He gripped the sword tighter in his hand. He plunged the sword into the Dark Harry's chest, watched the rage in his own eyes die, the blood leaking down his chest to pool on the floor. The figure didn't vanish to turn into anything else.

His deeper fear, the true greatest fear - the reason that, as much as he denied it, Draco and Hermoine were right. Harry Potter did have a death wish. There were times that he was convinced there would be no peace for him ever. Even evil, he would be forever haunted by misery and pain, and the only peace that could possible exist for him, he would find only in death. The face of the dead Harry was peaceful, serene. Free. He touched his finger to the dead Harry's scar, and then he murmured, "I don't care."

"RIDICULUS!" He shouted. They all became little Hazes smoking hookahs. He laughed, a cavernous rumbling sound that started deep in his chest and rolled out like thunder.

"What's so funny, Hero?"

"Me," Harry replied in an amused tone as he turned to face the blond who had just entered.

"Care to elaborate?" Draco leaned against the closed door. He was dressed in black from head to toe, making his skin shine like porcelain, his hair glow like moonlight, and his deep gray eyes seemed to swirl like turbulent clouds before a storm at sea. His legs were clad in tight, soft black leather

"No," Harry smirked, stepping closer. "How'd you find me?"

"We're Symmetrius, you can't hide from me," Draco wet his lips, taking in the prowling Harry as he closed in. "Even if you _really_ wanted to."

"Really? Because I thought a little badger told you." Harry raked his eyes over Draco's body. "That's ok, I am glad you're here."

"Are you?" Draco attempted a bored tone, still salty about Harry's earlier dismissal of his offer. If Haze hadn't explained about Symmetrius partners being too far apart for too long or during times of extreme emotional distress, he would have left Harry to stew in his own juices until he begged Draco to pay attention to him again. He smirked sinfully at the thought. The things he would make Potter beg for.

"Mmm-hmmm." Harry leaned over Draco, bracing his forearms on either side of his head. Something in his demeanor seemed to tower over Draco, like a large, lethal panther, preparing to play with it food. While it was still alive.

"Yeah, well. I can't stay long." Draco sighed. "I just came because Haze informed me that the golden boy was in trouble again."

"Aw, you came to rescue me," Harry whispered, his eyes like emerald icicles. In parseltongue, he asked, _"Isn't that sssssweet?"_

"I am very seldom 'sweet', Potter." Draco liked his lips, his mouth oddly dry.

"Really?" Harry brushed his lips briefly across Draco's and then licked his own lips. "I beg to differ."

"That's something you better get used to," Draco smirked.

"Differing?" Harry asked lazily leaning his full weight forward.

"Begging." Draco's eyes heated, and he shoved Harry away from him.

"Oh, I don't think so," Harry whispered dangerously. He pushed forward, setting his forearm against Draco's throat and forcing him against the door. Draco's head snapped back, hitting the door with loud crack. Harry mercilessly captured Draco's mouth in an electrified kiss. He kissed him deeply, thoroughly. Harry invaded Draco's space and his mouth with a ruthless passion edged in ice. Harry seemed simultaneously in control and detached. Draco was lost, caught up in the whirlwind that was Harry Potter. Helplessly attracted and turned on, he was hyper aware of his Symmetrius, absorbed in Harry's emotions if not his thought. He was brutally aware that something was very wrong. Harry was emanating cold as if he were one of the Hogwart's ghosts. Draco was left gasping for breath, his lungs on fire.

Draco shoved Harry away from him again. "I appreciate your enthusiasm and interest, Potter. However, I'm not really in the mood. Maybe some other time?"

"Hush." Harry pushed Draco back against the wall once more. Slowly, he leaned in and thoroughly kissed him again, asking, "You think you could deny me?"

Draco lifted his chin arrogantly, staring down at Harry with the centuries of aristocratic sneering requisite to the traditional Malfoy upbringing, but did not speak.

Harry was beginning to feel warmer now, and some of his rage had dissipated. But every time he looked at Draco's pale face, he remembered what Draco really wanted from him, and how foolish Harry had been to think he wanted anything more, to begin to trust Draco. Harry brushed his lips over Draco's mouth, once, twice, ever so slowly, repeating the gesture until he could feel the blond tremble and lean into the kiss.

"Say it," Harry whispered, an edge of frozen fury lacing his words.

"I want you," Draco breathed, his voice rebellious, reckless and irreverent.

"That's what I thought," Harry smirked, stepping back.

"What do you think you're doing?" Draco demanded, his voice low and rimmed with suspicion.

"What you told me to." Harry smiled, backing away from Draco and toward the door. He raised a brow, his eyes filled with a wild kind of freedom that would make Draco distinctly nervous after the door had shut behind the young Gryffindor. "Whatever I want."

****

* * *

"I'm sorry, what's your name again lil' fella?" Hagrid peered down at the tiny eaglet before him on the train step.

"Hushishana."

Hagrid screwed his face up, ready to attempt the name once more.

"Hush. You can call me Hush," the bird said, imperiously. "If it's easier for you."

"Thank you," Hagrid smiled warmly. "Hush."

"So, are you to take me to my post?"

"Huh?"

"My post - my , er, House, as it were?"

"Certainly. The other Mascots are coming to walk us up to the castle. They'll be here any minute."

"Very well, then." The bird fluttered up to Hagrid's shoulder. "I must say, I like your beard. Reminds me of home."

"Thanks." Hagrid beamed at him. "I think."

"Will you two stop talking and move a little faster!" Griff-gruff's voice could be heard just before the mascots came into sight on the path. Snippy and Snarky's reply was inaudible, but their snickering was clear.

The four finally came to a stop in front of the train. They peered up at Hagrid's shoulder, where the little bird was looking down at them imperiously.

"We welcome you to Hogwarts," Griff-gruff stated formally.

"Thank you." The bird nodded regally.

"Griff, this is Hush, Hush this is Griff-gruff from Gryffindor House," Hagrid pointed to each mascot in turn. "And Snippy and Snarky from Slytherin." Snippy and Snarky were still snickering too hard to extend a greeting. "And Hazelheart, from Hufflepuff."

"Hey there, tiny feathered dude." Haze was holding a hand painted sign that read: Welcome to Hogwarts, man!

"Hey there," the bird replied solemnly. Then he flittered over to his trunk and removed two chocolate frogs, which he tossed to the snakes.

_"Thanksssss,"_ they hissed, looking up with new interest.

"There's only one way to deal with parsel snakes. Keep their mouths so full they can't talk," the eaglet sighed. The snakes glared at him, their mouths full of chocolate frog.

"I like you." Griff-gruff grinned. "A lot."

"I know," Hush grinned. "Everybody does."

****

* * *

"Hey man, you got those jelly beans I asked for? The muggle ones?" Haze peeked his head cautiously around Draco's door.

"That depends," Draco grinned. He was sprawled in his window seat, one leg raised and folded on the seat, the other stretched out in front of him. His black shirt was unbuttoned, hanging open over his dragon-hide pants, framing a marble flash of his sculpted. In one hand, he twirled a large snifter of brandy.

His white blond hair hanging rather rakishly in his eyes, he drawled, "Have you brought me what I asked for?"

"Of course, man. I got the stuff right here," Haze smiled and sauntered into the room.

"Mmmmm," Draco smelled the package Haze handed him and grinned briefly, waving it under his nose like a fine cigar. He placed the five-bound bag of fruit-flavored jelly bellies on the table in front of Haze, dismissively. "That'll do."

Draco set his brandy down to open a small box on the low table in front of him. In it were cherry cigarette rolling papers. He looked up to see Haze making himself comfortable on the plush carpet across the table from him. He frowned. "And what do you think you're doing?"

"Just settling in, man," Haze grinned. "You really shouldn't do this alone."

"I assure you, I can handle myself."

Haze stared back at him for a second looking vaguely hurt. Draco gritted his teeth. There was an unfamiliar tug at his heart when he looked at the little furry fellow. And he had immediately responded to Draco's spur of the moment request. Plus, he felt more concerned about all the mascots now. It had never occurred to him that they could be hurt, were mortal. Haze slowly began to climb to his feet.

"Alright!" Draco snapped. "You can stay, but the first time I find anything green and sticky . . ."

"Chill, my dude. I have a feeling we'll both be a little more mellow in a moment or two." Haze looked at him for a moment. "Then we can talk about your problem."

"What problem? Who said anything about a problem?"

Haze shook his head and sighed, just staring at him.

"Too vehement, huh?" Draco blew out a breath, still feeling too warm to be quite comfortable.

Haze nodded sagely. Draco leaned back on his seat, lighting his cherry smoke with one hand, before grasping his brandy snifter. The blond inhaled deeply, holding his breath for a long moment before allowing smoke to escape his lips as he spoke, as if he were the mythical creature he had been named for. "So, if you're so wise, what do you think my problem is?"

"Hush. Relax for a second." Haze leaned back taking a cherry cigarette for himself and lighting it. He exhaled slowly, finally stating, "That's not what I do, dude. I help you figure 'em out, not come up with them."

"I'll tell you what my problem is. Same bloody problem I've had since my first year. Goddamn Harry fucking Potter."

"I'm feeling a lot of anger from you, man." Haze inhaled again. "You're aura's all red."

"Are you sure it's not the cherry smoke filling the room?" Draco smiled and sipped his brandy. His whole body was beginning to feel warm and fuzzy, a giddy floating sensation, like being covered in soap bubbles.

"What's up with you and Harry, man? Is it the Symmetrius thing? Or the other thing?"

"Symmetrius, of course. What other thing?" Draco waved his hand, in irritation, his jaw set in a tight line.

"Yeah, man . . . that must be, like, _intense_." Haze didn't waste his time addressing the denial.

"It is." Draco exhaled smoothly, talking as if without thought. "Of course it is. It's always been intense. We've hated each other since . . . since we met . . . everything we do is . . . fierce and deep and important in some ineffable way." Draco narrowed his eyes at Haze, "And now you're going to give me some platitude of hate and love being opposite sides of a thin knut, right?"

"Love? You're the only one mentioning love, dude." The badger sat back for a moment, inhaling deeply. He gestured as he held his breath and gritted out, "But the opposite of hate is not love, it's indifference, man."

"I've heard that somewhere before," Draco mused. "Or something rather like it . . ."

Haze puffed on his smoke for a minute or two. He examined Draco with heavy eyes. "Sal told me that once, dude."

"Sal?"

"Slytherin."

"Bloody hell." Draco took a deep drink of brandy.

"Yeah, we use to hang out some times, on the sly, you know. He was flashy on the outside, but really secretive if you got to know him."

"How could you get to know him if he's really secretive?" Draco speculated.

"Yeah, I know, man! That was the hard part." Haze blew a smoke ring at Draco. "But I asked him one day, why he hated Godric so much, when they used to be best mates. And that's what he said."

"Harry and I were never best mates," Draco pointed out.

"Didn't say you were, dude. Just said you're not indifferent."

"I'm not." Draco heaved a deep sigh, his lips curved in a sardonic twist. "I'm a simple man. I'm a Malfoy. So when I see something I want, I need to have it, and have it now. I want what I want, and I bloody well want it when I ask for it."

"So, your problem is you asked for something and someone didn't give it to you, like everyone else does. And that makes you angry." Haze bobbed his head. "Makes sense. What was it?"

"Huh?" Malfoy's eyes were lost in the depths of his brandy, smoke clouding his vision.

"What was it that you wanted?"

"Goddamn Harry fucking Potter," he drawled softly.

****

* * *

"Pardon me, but may I inquire as to what you are doing?" An imperious voice sounded over Sheldon's head.

Sheldon shrieked, jumping up from his covers spread wide position. Then, spotting the small, fluffy eaglet perched on the door jam, peering down at him, he frowned, "You shouldn't interrupt a warrior in the middle of practice, you could be hurt."

"Me? Be hurt by . . . did you say 'warrior'?" Hush frowned, speculatively. "You're a book."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes," the bird paused for emphasis, fluffing his downy feathers. "You are."

"No, I'm-"

"Yes, yes, you are."

"No - "

The bird's look was enough to interrupt the book.

"I mean, I'm not _just_ _any_ book." Sheldon puffed out his pages. "I am Sheldon -"

"Of the blackest magic," Hush rolled his eyes; he should have guessed sooner. "Ever."

"Series," Sheldon finished, looking pleased. "I see you've heard of me. I'm evil. And the first edition."

"Yes, I know," the bird murmured in an amused tone. "But I say, get back to what you were talking about earlier. If you're a warrior, who are you fighting?"

"Oldie-Mort," Sheldon snapped defensively.

"I am sorry to inform you, most evil of literature," Hush stated gravely, folding his tiny wings over his puffed up chest. "But only Harry Potter can defeat Lord Voldemort. The prophecies-- "

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Destiny and all that rot. But it doesn't say that Harry has to do it alone," Sheldon pointed out, sniffing indignantly, though he was mildly appeased by his flattery.

"That's true," the bird conceded. "And have you a plan, Blackest Magic? Ever?"

"I do." Sheldon grinned widely.

"What is it?"

"A secret," he mused, suddenly suspicious. "Just who are you, anyway?"

"Hush."

"I won't! I demand to know who you are!"

"My name is Hush. I'm the new mascot of Ravenclaw!" He explained impatiently.

"Oh, good to meet you. I'm the mascot of -"

"Evil, yes, I know." The bird sighed. "Tell me your plan."

"Why should I?"

"Because I'm the only one who will listen." The bird folded its wings over his chest.

"Good point," Sheldon agreed. The bird was obviously wicked smart, having known right away that Sheldon was the mascot of evil. Carefully he explained his plan as the bird listened carefully. Quickly, he finished with, "And then, I jump open to page 117."

"Well . . . that's just . . ."

"Just what?" Sheldon asked eagerly.

"Brilliant," the bird grinned, a plan forming behind his tiny face. "You, my evil friend, are bloody brilliant."

****

* * *

Hermione slowly entered Snape's office. "Severus?"

"Hermione," his warm voice sounded from his chair by the fire. Quickly she shut the door behind her, moving to stand in front of him.

Hermione bit her lip, slowly nudging the carpet with the toe of her shoe, a wicked glint in her cinnamon eyes. "You summoned me . . . _Professor_?"

"I did, indeed." His eyes filled with heat as he narrowed them at her. "Miss Granger."

Her lips curved in a carnal smile, images of his body braced above her as she trembled in his arms dancing in her head. "What can I do for you?"

"We are to attend a party," he responded grimly, his face draining of warmth.

"A party?"

Wordlessly, he presented the invitation, quickly whisking it away from her before she could memorize the details.

"At Malfoys?" She was puzzled. "Shouldn't he be furious with you, still? Or is ruining each other's evil plots considered a practical joke in the Death Eater tradition?"

Snape's lips twitched in amusement. "No, it's not a practical joke."

"Well, could I have a clue, here, Sherlock?"

"Who?"

"Never mind." She crossed her arms over her chest, pursing her lips and falling into Top Student Mode. "Wouldn't they just summon you to a Death Eater meeting if they wanted to kill you? I mean, if the Dark Lord is displeased with you, shouldn't you be getting an 'off with his head' speech or something?"

"Not necessarily." Snape stared at her. "I'd hardly attend one of those, would I?"

"Granted." She frowned again, thinking it over. Why would Malfoy be trying to socialize now? "So, it's a trap."

"Maybe," Snape reached out suddenly, pulling her against his body. "Or Lucius is planning a little retaliatory practical joke of his own."

"You said Death Eaters don't do that."

"I know. I lied." He smiled. "I don't think you'll be needed for this little event."

"My name was on the invitation."

"He just wants to pull the joke off in front of you so I'll be more humiliated," Snape explained. "It'll be better for me, if you stay here."

"Are you sure?" She asked hesitantly.

"Yes." He stated firmly, before leaning down to kiss her breathless.

She broke away, blinking up at him innocently. "I should go, so you can get ready."

"Hush," he whispered. "I'm not leaving until six. That's hours from now."

"My mistake," she murmured, kissing him back before he recognized the glint in her eyes. Six o'clock it is, then.

* * *

A few hours later, Hermione was languidly tangled in her sheets, her naked body barely covered. She watched silently as Severus left the room, pretending to be asleep. When he closed the bedroom door behind himself, she quickly jumped to her feet, pulling on her clothes, and then crouching by the door. When she heard the outer door shut, she hurried into that room, careful to let the latch shut, before sneaking out into the hallway.

She waited behind a bush for him to prepare to Apparate, a heady feeling of déjà vu washing over her. When he pointed his wand at himself, she threw herself at him, knocking him to the ground as they both Apparated. They appeared in the drawing room of Malfoy mansion helplessly tangled together on the floor.

"Really, Severus, for a man who claims not to be an exhibitionist," Lucius smirked. "I certainly find you in plenty of compromising situations. Even in my own home."

Snape quickly recovered, pulling Hermione to her feet and protectively behind him. He drawled sarcastically, "My apologies, Lucius. I know how easily offended you can be."

"Please, join me in the living room," Lucius sneered. "You can take a moment or two to . . . freshen up, if you wish."

As the blond swept out of the room, Hermione waited until she was sure he was gone, then turned to Severus, a disgruntled expression on her face.

"What in the bloody hell do you think you're doing here?" He managed to thunder softly.

"Oh, it's just a practical joke. It's not dangerous. Stay here. I'll be back." She mimicked his deep voice. "I've been in your classes for how many years, and that's the line you thought would fool me?"

"God dammit, Hermione!" He should have known that was too easy. He had just been distracted by . . . well, her.

"If you think I'm going to let you go in there, by yourself, now that they might know that we're spies," she started out hotly.

Snape put a finger over her lips, panic in his eyes.

"Hush," Lucius drawled, stepping back into the room, a triumphant smile on his face. "They might be listening."

****

* * *

Harry entered the Gryffindor Common Room, automatically scanning for an arrogant blonde. Instead, he found a red-head.

"Harry!" Ron gently disentangled himself from his girlfriend, Mab.

"Hey, Ron," Harry wanted to smile, but couldn't quite muster enough warmth for the expression.

"Good to see you back where you belong." Ron grinned, clasping his shoulder in a brotherly manner.

"Don't get too excited," warned Seamus, approaching his fellow seventh years. "He's probably here looking for Malfoy."

"Leave it alone, mate," Ron said in a soft, but firm tone.

"You got something to say, _Finnegan_?" Harry stepped forward. He was tense, angry and honestly, itching for a fight. His bluish pallor and strange glow were stronger than before.

"Yeah I do." Seamus's eyes glittered with resentment. "I think you've been spending too much time in Slytherin, _mate_. You seem to have forgotten where your loyalties should lie."

"Is that a fact?" Harry asked, dangerously.

"Yeah, it is. You and Malfoy - well, don't think we don't know what's going on."

"Not that it's any of your business, but what exactly do you think is going on?" Harry demanded, heatedly.

"Well, maybe we don't know _what's_ going on, but we know _something's_ going on!"

"We? _We?_ Who's this we?" Harry looked at Ron, who was looking distinctly uncomfortable and refused to meet his eyes. "Ron, are you part of this 'we'?"

"No, of course not, Harry!" Ron was quick to defend himself, but he obviously was holding something back. He was also growing increasingly aware of the attention they were receiving from the rest of the room. "Here, now. This isn't the place for - "

"Shut up, Ron," Harry said calmly, his eyes narrowing in on Seamus. "And you - keep in mind that the Royal 'we' is reserved for Royalty, Editors and people with tape worms. So you need to learn to speak for yourself."

"He's a Death Eater, Harry!" Seamus cried. "How could you - you - _fraternize_ with the people who killed your par . . . ."

"Yesss?" Harry hissed with an echo of parseltongue, his eyes flashing again. Seamus looked down, mulishly silent. "Go ahead. Finish your sentence. Pretend you have the right to remind me who killed my parents. Maybe I've forgotten."

"Maybe you have."

And that's when holy hell broke loose.

Harry slugged Seamus, hard, in the jaw almost before he finished his sentence. The Irish boy went down, still conscious but gripping his throbbing face in a state of shock. Harry sneered, "Get up, Finnegan."

"Harry - "

"I said, get up." Harry raised his hand, palm up, toward Seamus and the other boy was lifted to his feet. "Immobilis!"

Harry was getting paler and paler, the cold emanating off him in waves that the entire Common Room could feel like a cold breeze. Seamus stared at Harry wide-eyed, unable to move.

"Apparently, you don't know who you're talking to, Finnegan." Harry whispered, stepping closer to the terrified boy. "I've seen things your nightmares would be scared of. I have access to power and curses you couldn't cast in your wildest dreams." Harry lowered his voice. "So, maybe you should be more careful not to piss me off."

"H-harry -"

"Don't. Don't say one bloody word," Harry whispered. Suddenly his wand was in his hand, poised to strike. His breath came in harsh pants. Seamus's mouth was drawn in a tight line, still angry, but too afraid to speak. Harry's eyes dared him, begged him to give him an excuse, any excuse.

A warm hand closed over Harry's fingers and around his wand. Harry exhaled, his mind-clouding fury dissipating. His eyes finally focused on Seamus, and he swallowed hard, before waving his hand. "Finite Incantatum."

Seamus slumped to the floor, Dean Thomas running to his side. Harry turned slowly. Draco stood behind him, his face inscrutable, his long white fingers clenched around Harry's fist. They stared into each other's eyes, breathing in sync for a long moment.

"Harry?" Ron asked hesitantly, his eyes flickering between the blond and his friend.

Harry shook off Draco's hand, turned and walked out of the Common Room. Without a moment's hesitation, Draco followed, but as he exited the portrait, Harry was gone. Draco looked up and nodded grimly to himself. All he had to do was follow the shattered lights.

Draco found Harry in the hallway outside of the Slytherin Dungeons, his hands and forehead braced on the wall. He leapt back, his wand suddenly in his hands. "Expelliarmus!"

_"Serpensortia!"_ Draco responded reactively. Instead of s new snake being shot out of his wand though, Snippy and Snarky shot into the air.

_"Woooohoooo!"_ Snippy landed with a sliding flourish that was only slightly diminished in dignity by Snarky landing _on_ him a moment later.

_"Where are we? What's going on?"_ Snarky demanded.

Snippy mumbled something, shoving his coils upwards in an attempt to free himself from his friend's weight.

_"Oh, sssssorry about that,"_ Snarky sheepishly moved over.

_"How did you do that?"_ Snippy inquired, suspiciously eyeing the two wizards, standing there as if dumbstruck.

_"I have no earthly idea, but I will endeavor never to do it again,"_ murmured Draco.

Harry cast a look at him out of the corner on his eye. "Piss off, Malfoy."

"Well, hallo to you, too, Potter. How are we doing? Myself, quite fine, quite fine. Thanks for asking," Draco spoke breezily. "So, what have you been up to? Threaten to kill any Gryffindors lately? I see that Slytherin has done wonders for your extracurricular activities."

The snakes grinned in anticipation. They weren't sure what fluke of magic or destiny had caused them to fulfill Draco's spell, but they were happy to be in on the action. Slowly, they slithered backwards towards the wall, heads cocked to listen.

Harry's jaw worked furiously as he turned, leaning back against the wall and folding his arms over his chest to regard the flippant blond with darkly flashing eyes.

Draco stepped forward, hissing, "What in the bloody hell has gotten into you?"

"Just you, it would seem."

"Look, Hero, you want to express your inner angst by jumping out of towers, killing ants and making out with me, I'm not going to stop you," Draco said, harshly. "But you need to keep your head on straight."

"Why? Is your boss about to kill me? Again?" Harry again saw the vision of himself, happy and dead, on the floor.

"Not you, us. Look, Hero. I don't know why you can't put two and two together, but we're Symmetrius." Draco gripped his chin in his hand. "We're connected now. For life. Whether we hate each other or - or are friends, or not. And it also means, when you face Voldemort, so do I." Harry tried to jerk away, but Draco held on tightly. "So I need to figure out what in the bleedin' hell has made you go off the deep end, before you kill us both. Like it or not, Hero, we're connected. We always will be."

For a second, Draco thought that Harry was going to start yelling again. While Draco had been upstairs with Haze, he had suddenly felt as if a cool breeze had swept through the too warm room. And then he could feel him. _Harry._ Somewhere downstairs, Harry was talking to someone. And he was angry. Draco recognized the power emanating from Harry all the way through Gryffindor as if it were his father's voice ringing through Malfoy Manor. It called to him, its power irresistible, drawing him towards Harry. But the chill in Harry's eyes had heated to something else now as he regarded Draco.

Harry uncrossed his arms, tilting his head at an angle, a too familiar smirk crossing his lips. "Are you afraid, Draco?"

"Of Voldemort? Only in the 'damn, that guy's creepy when he's sitting on my sofa', sort of way."

"Are you afraid of me?"

"No."

"Seamus was."

"Yes."

"Why aren't you afraid?"

"I'm a Malfoy."

Harry narrowed his eyes at him, a look of revelation crossing his eyes. "I can't hurt you."

"No. I've been trying to tell you, Hero." Draco sighed. Harry could easily read his thoughts at will now. "You can't. And I can't hurt you."

You did, Harry's mind cried, but Harry shrugged the feeling off. It was too late, however Harry could almost feel Draco inside his mind as he read the thought, could see it in his face. "I don't get you, Malfoy."

"How's that?"

"Isn't this what you wanted?"

"For you to kill Finnegan in the Common Room? While I'm not entirely opposed, I can't say I stayed up at night wishing for it or anything . . ."

"You think I'm the next Voldemort. That's what you want from me." Harry said dully. "It's not just that everyone thinks I'm going off the deep end. In a morbidly fascinated sort of way, that's what they want. That's what you want."

"Who told you that?"

Harry snorted. "You did."

"Did not."

"I can't believe you just said that." Harry almost smiled at the childish response. "I read it in your diary - and so help me, Malfoy, if you gasp in indignation, I'll call you a girl for the rest of your life."

"How did you get it?"

"It showed up on my bed."

"You expect me to believe that my journal got up and walked to your bedroom."

"Maybe it was following your instincts," Harry snorted derisively. "It was yours. There were . . . sketches."

"And how does that prove anything?"

Harry stared at Draco for a moment. "Accio scroll-book." A thick stack of bound scrolls appeared, with a Slytherin green cover, which was covered with drawings. In the center was a large, embossed 'D. Malfoy'. Harry presented it, raising his brows.

"So? I do doodle. You do doodle, you do doodle, too!" Draco exhaled, exasperatedly.

"So what? Are you going to tell me that you didn't mean it? That I misunderstood what you wrote?" Harry's voice took on a sneering quality that Draco had never heard him use before. "That you've changed your mind?"

"Yeah, I changed my mind, Hero. Right after you lost yours." Draco crossed his arms over his chest, his face the picture of frustration. "I don't know how to get through to you!"

"I'm just trying to give you what you want," Harry said, his lips almost pouting. "The power that you-"

"Shut up, Hero," Draco growled, grabbing the front of Harry's shirt, jerking him against his body, and covering his mouth with a demanding kiss. "I know what I want from you. And it has nothing to do with power."

Harry was about to respond when Fawkes appeared, gliding down the hall towards him. Fawkes landed on Harry's shoulder, affectionately nipping at his ear a second, before insistently tugging at his shirt. Draco quirked a brow.

Harry frowned. "Summons."

The snakes exchanged a look. _"Ding-dong, candy man calling!"_

"From Dumbledore?" Draco asked, recognizing the fiery bird. "He sends Fawkes to get you?"

"Only when it's really important." Harry started down the hallway. "When it's serious."

"How serious?" Draco asked, following him, a feeling of dread in his stomach.

"Deadly."


	22. Watch This

**Title**: Trading Spaces 22

**Rating**: M or "R", for those of you who prefer the olden days.

**Pairing**: H/D, Hr/Sn. (slash, m/m – you've been fairly warned, if you're offended, you wanted to be.

**A/N's**: All together now, can we picture Voldemort sitting on the sofa I'm about to describe?

**Chapter twenty-two: Watch This.**

****

* * *

"Severus, tea?' Lucius asked politely. "No? Pity."

Severus and Hermione sat side by side on Lucius Malfoy's couch in the middle of the foyer in Malfoy Mansion. Their hands were bound in front of them; their feet were magically chained to the floor. Two cups of tea sat innocuously in front of them. Snape appeared to be staring in disgust at the upholstery. "Really, Lucius. Paisley?"

"Pardon me," Hermione interrupted, at a complete and utter loss as to how to react to such a situation. They were caught, in every sense of the word. Yet, instead of being drug in chains to some frightful combination family room/dungeon/torture chamber, they were having tea on a paisley couch. She felt an urge to laugh and began to wonder if she was hysterical or possibly in shock. "Not that I don't appreciate the tea - the finger sandwiches are lovely, really. But shouldn't you be taking us to your boss? Or locking us up and threatening to torture us until we talk? Something like that?"

"Eager little thing, aren't you?" Lucius's smile made Hermione distinctly uncomfortable. "Don't worry, my dear. I'll find the time to tie you up later all you like. However, I thought this a marvelous opportunity for us to talk."

"Ew." Hermione sighed resignedly. Then she considered the prospect of actually having to talk to Malfoy Sr. "Ew."

Snape abruptly reached forward, grasping a bottle of brandy, pulled the stopper and dumped a liberal amount into his teacup, sighing heavily.

"No need to stand on ceremony," Lucius raised an eyebrow at him. "Feel free to help yourself, Severus."

"You usually do," Snape commented dryly. "Thought I'd return the favor."

"Great," Hermione huffed. "Here we are, in grave danger, and your solution is to get intoxicated. Smashing."

"Smash-ed, my dear," he corrected, drinking down his spiked tea quickly and refilling the whole cup with brandy. "And I'm not the one who announced to the Death Eaters that we were spies, now am I?"

"Oh, so this all my fault?" She could hear her voice getting louder and higher pitched, but felt powerless to stop it. "Mr. 'I'm going to lie to my girlfriend and walk right into the bloody trap by my bloody self because I'm a bad person and all dark and tortured.'"

Lucius raised his brow. So, Severus really was involved with a student, he had really assumed it was just a cover.

"And how have you helped by coming along, hmm?" He asked, giving up on the cup completely and drinking straight from the bottle. Lucius watched the interchange with the look of a man watching a train wreck. "Were you afraid I'd die without a good nagging, then?"

"You don't know! I could be working my restraints free even as we speak - letting my nagging be a clever distraction," she pointed out, resisting the urge to stick out her tongue, sure now that she was either freaking out or in shock.

"Except of course, that once again, you have announced our SECRET PLAN to the Death Eaters!" He nearly shouted at her, gesticulating wildly with the bottle.

"I'm a GRYFFINDOR! We don't do sneaky - that's your department, remember?"

"Is that so? Didn't you just tell me that you snuck into my potions cabinet, stole ingredients and once set me on FIRE?" He took another long swig from the bottle, eyeing her over the top of it.

"YES! I did that - and then I TOLD you about it. Are we picking up on a pattern here?" She grabbed the bottle out of his hand and took a long drink. After about five minutes of hacking and shivering, she gave him a watery glare. "I was sneaky and then I confessed!"

"You were sneaky Apparating here with me, weren't you?" He pointed out.

"Yeah, that's it. Keep bringing up the past when we're in dire straights." She rolled her eyes.

"It was twenty minutes ago!"

"And if you really want to bring up the past - you said I had huge teeth!" She sniffed.

"When?"

"Third year." Her eyes filled up with tears and her chin trembled as she whispered wetly, "Do you know how that made me feel?"

"Children," Lucius finally interrupted, feeling a little dizzy from the fast paced exchange. "Let's focus, shall we?"

"That's fine. Because I'm not speaking to him anymore." Hermione decided. "Please, begin the torture."

Lucius's smile became decidedly more villainous. "Now then, since we've all had some refreshment, let's talk."

Snape felt a well of dread form in his stomach, though he couldn't focus on it. He was feeling exceptionally light-headed and calm. He examined the taste in his mouth. "Lucius, did you happen to put veritaserum in your brandy?"

"In vino veritas." He offered with a wolfish grin.

"Vino is wine, you twit." Snape pointed out. "Your Latin always was rubbish."

"Yeah, well, whatever's lying around will usually do the trick," the blond grinned.

""That seems to be your philosophy for a lot of things," Hermione commented. Lucius glared at her. "Just saying. You're the one who gave us truth potion."

"We need to talk." Lucius sneered.

"Oh no - is there someone else?" Snape drawled.

"About my son."

****

* * *

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to forbid you from taking any action on your own until the Order has decided how to handle this situation, Harry." The sun was up, but just barely. Dumbledore had just delivered the news of Hermione and Severus's capture, explained that the order was working on it as they spoke, and then told Harry to wait.

"Excuse me, sir?" Harry stared at him in disbelief. "But Hermione-"

"The safety of a Hogwarts's student is paramount to the survival of Hogwarts itself. I'm afraid I cannot risk the lives of you and young Mr. Malfoy here to attempt to - "

"Attempt?" Harry questioned softly.

"Rescue Ms. Granger," Dumbledore finished insistently. "Please trust that the Order is -"

"Wasting precious time?" Harry cut him off.

Draco watched the whole exchange with raised brows. Somehow he had always imagined these meetings between Harry and Dumbledore differently. Something where Harry always spoke respectfully and bravely, while Dumbledore encouraged him with fatherly pride. Not this barely masked contest of wills.

"Do you have a plan, Harry?" The older wizard asked reasonably.

"Yeah, I'm going to march in there and get her back." Harry's eyes were wild and fiery.

"Brilliant," Draco commented under his breath. Harry shot him a look that told him explicitly where he could stick that comment.

"I'm sorry, Harry. I cannot allow it," Dumbledore said with an air of finality.

"Cannot allow it?" Harry asked dangerously. He got to his feet. "You say that like you think you could stop me, old man."

"Don't do this, Harry," Dumbledore said softly. "I've seen this go badly for other wizards."

"Of course you've seen it. That's all you and the Order ever do anymore is sit back and watch things happen." Harry's eyes flashed as he put his closed fists on Dumbledore's desk, leaning over it. "Well - watch this."

Harry turned and quit the office, slamming the door behind him. As he stalked through the hallway the lights on the wall shattered one by one with his footsteps. Draco and Dumbledore sat silently for a moment, Draco shifting uncomfortably in his chair, listening to the glass breaking outside the office. "Ah, well. Lovely office you have here."

"Thank you, Mr. Malfoy." Dumbledore's lips twitched.

"Right then, guess I should be going." Draco got to his feet. "Thanks for the cocoa, sir." He paused for a second, then added, "And the little marshmallows."

"You are most welcome," Dumbledore smiled kindly. "I'll see you and Mr. Potter at breakfast, shortly."

"Yes, sir." Draco quickly vacated the room, not quite running, but walking briskly to catch up to Harry. As Draco passed by, the shattered glass from the lights lifted into the air, reformed into bulbs, screwed themselves into their sockets and relit. "Oi, Potter! Hold up!"

Harry was fuming, and barely paused to look at Draco as he matched strides with him.

"Well, Hero, that was brilliant."

"What?"

"Well, watch this," Draco mocked.

"Do you have a point?" They had reached the doors of the Great Hall, and Harry paused outside of them.

"Yes. You have all the subtlety of a Whomping Willow tree." Draco pointed out. "You see, it's easier to be bad when you don't announce to all and sundry what you're planning." Draco crossed his arms over his chest. "For instance, you say, 'Yes, sir, I'll stay put like a good golden boy' and _then_ do whatever you want. You would have learned some stealth if you would have stayed where you belonged from the beginning, in Slytherin." _With me._ The words echoed between them.

"Forgive me if I'm not as good as you at -"

"Being bad?" Draco purred, looking up at him through silvery lashes.

Harry glared at him impatiently and pushed through the doors into the Great Hall.

"The old man's got a point, you know. You don't have a plan."

"I explained the plan already," Harry said as if speaking to a small child. "Go rescue Hermione."

"That's a goal. Not a plan."

"Will and intent is all you need to do magic," Harry pointed out heading for the Slytherin table.

"So what? All that build up and now you're just going to sit down and have some breakfast?" Draco asked incredulously following Harry to the Slytherin Table.

"I thought you wanted me to be more sneaky." Harry dropped his bookbag unceremoniously on the ground and it fell open. Snippy and Snarky peeked out as they munched on Harry's between-class snacks.

_"Maybe we should hop up on the table and get some breakfasssst." _Snippy yawned.

_"That's more energy than this little snake has, my friend."_ Snarky yawned, too. _"Besides, it's oatmeal day."_

_"Ugh."_ Snippy stuck out his forked tongue in disgust. _"I saw the owls regurgitate something that looked just like that once."_

_"Hey, watch the imagery. I'm trying to keep these chocolate frogs down over here."_

At the Head table, the professors all seemed subdued and slightly harried, having been woken up before dawn to be informed of the capture of their colleague. Dr. Troy was dressed in an immaculate white hooded sweatshirt, the blue word Muggle printed on it, and a pair of dark blue jeans. His hair had that purposefully disheveled spiky look to it, and his face glowed with health despite the tiredness it emanated. He had one hand wrapped around a cup of coffee while he leaned his chin on the other.

"Troy?" Oliver asked as he sat beside him. "Are you ok?"

"I really liked little peach pie," Troy commented. "And now the Odor Eaters have her."

Oliver laid a warm hand on Troy's shoulder. "The Order will get her back, I promise."

"The Order?" Troy asked, his brows knitting. "Is that some kind of scary religious sect?"

"The Order of the Phoenix was formed by Dumbledore to defeat He Who Shall Not Be Named," Oliver explained, thinking he could hear snake hissing somewhere in the background. He shrugged and turned back toward Troy. "They're the only ones strong enough to mount a proper rescue mission. I'd put my galleons on them any day."

"Really? Because my gallons are on them," Troy looked pointedly at where Harry and Draco stood beside the Slytherin Table now, arguing heatedly. They had started to glow.

****

* * *

"Yes, he really is gay," Hermione stated, nodding her head. "I would know. I've kissed him."

Lucius looked confused for a second. "On the surface, that would seem like evidence to the contrary."

"Who hasn't?" Snape added, nastily. Hermione turned and raised a brow at him. He snapped, "Besides me!"

"My son was in the company of Harry Potter last night."

"Well, sounds like you already knew what was going on with your son, then, huh?" Hermione responded.

"Why was Draco helping the Potter boy?" Lucius demanded, his face unamused.

"Because." Snape pressed his lips tightly together, but ultimately couldn't fight the influence of the potion he had taught Lucius to brew himself. "They're Symmetrius."

"What!" Lucius and Hermione exclaimed in shock.

"That's not possible, Severus. Joined magic is a myth," Hermione stated reasonably.

"No, it's really not." Snape sighed. "I wouldn't believe it myself if I hadn't seen them blow that door open."

Hermione frowned.

"Symmetrius," Lucius breathed, his eyes glazing over with the promise of such power. Then the azure orbs darkened with the realization that Draco would never cooperate willingly with his father's ambitions. His son would use that power against him, to achieve whatever ends Draco most desired. Lucius knew this down to the marrow of his bones. He had raised Draco that way.

"Yeah, bet you're wishing you were a little nicer to him," Hermione smirked. She was absolutely certain she was in some kind of shock now, and that combined with tea spiked with brandy spiked with veritaserum had her feeling very calm. And honest. "You know, a little more accepting of the whole gay thing."

Lucius's eyes were almost black as he smiled. "I think it's time for the torture now."

****

* * *

Oliver Wood, mouth hanging open, stood staring at Draco and Harry. Troy glanced up at him, still chewing on a piece of toast.

"That's not natural, right?" Troy pondered the two students surrounded by an ice blue mist. "Not wizarding natural - I mean, they're not calling on the awe-inspiring power of Papa Smurf, are they?"

"Who?" Oliver shook himself. "No, it's not natural."

By now, all of the Great Hall was focused on the two boys who continued to argue, oblivious of the commotion they were causing, and the dead silence in the room. Hush and Sheldon were crouched under the Slytherin Table close to Harry and Draco's feet.

"Now?" Sheldon asked.

"Shhhhh. NO." Hush sniffed, his eyes narrowed on the glowing feet of the two seventh years.

_"Now what?"_ Snippy mumbled around a mouth of candy.

"Shut up, Snakes!" Hush hissed back.

_"Hey mate, could you hop up on the table and toss us down some toast? All this sugar is starting to make me nauseous,"_ Snarky called.

"Be quiet!"

_"Well, that was rude."_ Snippy glared at the baby eagle. _"Want I should bite him for you, Snarky?"_

"Now, hold on -" Hush cautioned.

"Now?" Sheldon asked hopefully.

"No, not now!"

_"Alright, if it's not in your itinerary, I can pencil you in for a bite around noonish . . ."_ Snippy suggested helpfully.

Oblivious to the mascot drama taking place by their feet, or their shiny blue glow, Draco and Harry continued to argue.

"I always thought you were Mr. Team Player, Hero - the way you drag Ron and Hermione everywhere." Draco crossed his arms over his chest. "Why are you suddenly the lone gunman on the grassy knoll?"

Harry started to retort, than shot Draco a puzzled look. "How do you -"

"Oh, c'mon. You really think Lee Harvey Oswald was a muggle? Hello, _magic _bullet theory." Draco gave Harry a pointed look. "Which still doesn't explain your need to go off half-cocked."

"My best friend is in the clutch's of an evil fiend! I do not feel like waiting around to form a committee and have a meeting. I just want to go get her!"

"Again, that's a goal. Not a plan."

"Now?" Sheldon asked impatiently.

"Not yet," Hush whispered. He hopped up on the table. "Will . . ."

_"Oi! How about that toast?"_ Snarky called.

"All this arguing, and yet here you sit, waiting for the go ahead. Do you even know where she is?" Draco asked.

"No, but your father is the evil fiend in question. I imagine she's at _your_ house."

"So, you want me to take you there," Draco stated. "When?"

"And intent," Hush whispered to himself.

"Now." Harry said, his voice determined.

"Now?" Sheldon called up to Hush.

"Now!" Hush flew full-throttle into Harry. Harry fell forward against Draco, who tripped over Harry's bookbag, just as Sheldon threw himself inside it, squashing the snakes who hissed in outrage. There was a loud pop that shook the Great Hall, and then they were gone, boys, book, bag of snakes, bird and all.

Dumbledore entered the Great Hall surprised to find it in complete silence. Everyone was staring at an unoccupied spot next to the Slytherin Table, mouths agape. "Will someone please tell me what is going on here?"

All turned to look at the Headmaster, and started to speak at once.

"SILENCE!" Dumbledore, exasperated turned to the professors' table. "Where are Mr. Potter and Mr. Malfoy?"

"Uh, sir?" Oliver stepped forward, shaking. "They're gone."

****

* * *

Draco cracked open one aristocratic grey eye. "Hi there, Hero."

"What in the name's of Merlin's beard!" Harry scrambled off of Draco to his feet. "Where are we?"

"Malfoy Manor. West gate." Draco sighed as he took Harry's offered hand and stood up.

"Let me guess. Hogwart's no-Apparation policy doesn't -"

"Apply to Symmetrius," Draco finished for him. "And apparently, all we need is for one of us to really want to go somewhere, the other to be willing and then to touch."

Harry looked impressed with himself. He cast a look at Draco. "Well, you usually _are_ willing."

"Perfect, we're right on schedule." Hush closed the pocket watch that he had pulled out of Harry's bookbag and tucked it back into the front pocket.

"What are you doing here?" Harry demanded.

"Helping you." Hush's voice implied that this fact was beyond obvious.

"That was fun. Let's go again!" Sheldon exclaimed, crawling out of the back pack.

Snippy and Snarky promptly slithered out of the bag to smack Sheldon's back cover.

"What was that for?" Sheldon glared at them.

_"Oh, the many, many reasons . . ."_ Snarky sighed. _"Stupidity, unauthorized snake squashing . . ."_

_"General existence and quasi-evilness . . ."_ Snippy added.

"So, here we are, Hero, weaponless and planless. Brilliant," Draco grouched.

"What's a matter, your hair get all mussed?" Harry rolled his eyes.

"You're not weaponless." Hush sighed exasperatedly. "Honestly, why you two ended up Symmetrius . . . your magic is weapon enough. And if it wasn't, I brought you this." Hush tugged the Sword of Gryffindor out of the bag and onto Draco's shoe.

The blond picked up the sword, whistling low under his breath. Harry looked at him, unspoken emotion rolling from his verdant eyes as the blond held the blade before him.

"How does it feel?" Harry asked.

"Feels like mine." Draco breathed deeply and held the sword out to Harry. "Must be yours."

Harry took the sword and turned toward the mansion. The snakes, for once, appeared to have nothing to say. Sheldon practiced his battle stance and Hush landed on Draco's shoulder with an expectant air. Harry sighed. "Think Voldemort's in there?"

"Yeah. He's probably having morning tea on my couch." Draco crossed his arms over his chest. "What's wrong, Hero?"

"I never pictured this as how the final battle would start." Harry said softly.

"What did you think, Hero? That there would be crowds of cheering fans accompanied by some hard rock anthem playing in the background?" Draco snorted.

"Something like that." Harry shot s look at Draco. "And stop calling me 'Hero'. You don't even know what that word means."

Draco looked slightly hurt and affronted. Hush stepped forward helpfully. "Traditionally, at least realistically speaking and considering the fact that History is generally written by the victors in any given situation dealing with heroics, a Hero is defined as the last one standing."

Harry nodded slowly, feeling the truth of the statement to his ones. Draco's face took on a eerie focus for a moment.

_"If you're wanting music, we could come up with something appropriate. I'm thinking Queen-genre - what about you, Snippy?"_

_"I had something more modern in mind. New Bon Jovi, or maybe something in the Three Doors Down or Nickleback arena."_

"Don't. Even. Think. About. It." Harry had never quite gotten over their little Britney Spears serenade his first night in Slytherin House. He looked around. "How do we get in?"

"Uh, up the walk way and through the front door," Draco drawled.

"That's it? No booby traps? No doors with one guard who always lies and one that always tells the truth? No mazes with attacking hedge animals? No bottomless pits?"

"What stories have you been reading, Hero?" Draco gave him a disgusted look. "No real point in a bottomless pit, anyway, is there? I mean, your enemy falls and . . . what, just keeps falling? More like an amusement park ride, isn't it? Like any self-respecting Malfoy would devise something that didn't involve intense suffering for a trespasser." Draco stopped to think for a minute. "I suppose they would eventually starve to death."

"Alright then. Let's go." Harry started forward.

"You really intend on taking them with you?" Draco gestured to Hush, Sheldon and the snakes.

"Yeah, I guess."

_"We few, Snippy,"_ Snarky sighed as he slithered forward. _"We happy few."_

****

* * *

Hermione squished herself closer to Professor Snape on the loveseat they had been moved to. Chained, hand and foot, they sat silently regarding the newcomer to their impromptu tea party. Hermione's eyes took in the scaly red-eyed form of Voldemort sitting on the sofa she had previously occupied and shuddered.

"Something bothering you, Mudblood?" Voldemort hissed, glaring at her out of his slitted eyelids.

"You're hideous."

"Hermione!" Snape nearly gasped in a tone danergously close to affront.

"What? Hello - truth serum! He asked me a direct question." Hermione tried to cross her arms over her chest and failed due to the chains. "If you wanted me to lie to you, you need to instruct your minions better."

Voldemort snorted. "You are bold, aren't you?" Voldemort considered her for a moment, breathing out of the slits that were what was left of his nose. "And brilliant, were you a Ravenclaw?"

"Gryffindor." She stated firmly.

"How unusual," Voldemort sneered. "I guess you wouldn't be interested in a job, then."

"A job doing what? Being a Death Eater?"  
Voldemort nodded with a self-satisfied smirk.

"No, thanks. I already am one of those. And honestly, I thought there would be better dental." She stared pointedly at his fang-like remains of teeth.

"You impudent little -"

"My Lord, I have just been informed that there are intruders on the premises." A shaking butler appeared in the room, his eyes fixed on Voldemort with something akin to terror, though, Hermione noted, he apparently was used to shackled people on the sofa.

"Well, then, I suppose that would be your prodigal son, Lucius?"

Lucius continued to stand silently by the window where he had posted himself since Lord Voldemort's arrival.

"Aren't you going to go welcome him home?" Voldemort sneered. "I suppose not. Didn't quite turn out how you promised me he would, did he?"

Lucius nodded his head in a slight acquiescence. His son was more powerful than Voldemort could have ever dreamed he would be, but Draco was no longer under his father's thumb.

"So, is your face stuck like that?" Hermione turned her head to one side.

Snape fought the urge to laugh. This was a desperate situation, but his little Hermione didn't seem to care. She was either in shock or had simply given up hope.

"Is that the 'price' of being evil, they're always talking about? You wind up looking like some sort of walking snake?" Hermione turned to Snape. "You're not going to wind up with a big old snake face, are you? All slitty nostrils, red eyes and bad teeth?"

"Silence, little Mudblood!" Voldemort hissed, rising to his feet. "I have heard enough of your useless chatter."

"Mudblood am I? So you can sense your own kind, then." For a moment the slightly light headed flippant façade was gone, and Hermione stared up threw her thick chocolate colored lashes at what had become of Tom Riddle, son of a witch and a muggle. He glowered at her with raw fury. "Or is it just half mudblood?"

Hermione's eyes grew big as she took in the full height of the Dark Lord. Trembling, she took hold of Snape's hand and whispered. "You know, I always thought he'd be taller."

****

* * *

"Alright, so who's got a plan? Anybody? Freakishly smart little bird? Anybody?" Draco asked as they trudged across the West grounds.

"It's your house, why don't you come up with a plan?" Harry snapped. He continued doggedly walking forward, the Sword of Gryffindor steadily bumping his leg as he walked.

"That was precisely my intention. To come up with a plan over toast and coffee, while safe and sound in the Great Hall at Hogwarts," Draco gritted out.

"How's this? I kill Voldemort and rescue Hermione. You can handle your father, and if there is any time left, we might save Snape."

"Yes, but how?" Draco cried, frustrated.

"He's going to use my spell." Sheldon was calmly confident.

"Perfect." Draco came to a stop at the front door to Malfoy Mansion. "We're marching off to face the Dark Lord armed with a genius bird with no plan, a pissed of Gryffindor with one sword, and our secret weapon is semi-evil here."

_"Um, hello? What are we, merely decorative?"_ Snippy demanded, tapping his tail impatiently on Draco's shoe.

_"And what do you two bring to the table? Talent to annoy?"_

_"We bring much needed sarcasm."_ Snarky sniffed.

_"Yes, never underestimate the power of a witty retort,"_ Snippy added.

_"Well, that would be lovely if anybody could understand you besides us."_

_"Tom's understands us,"_ Snippy pointed out, adding, _"Not in a touchy-feely counselor sort of way or anything. He's a parselmouth."_

Harry reached for the door. Draco's hand shot out and grabbed his wrist. "Only someone of Malfoy blood can open the door."

"I thought you said there weren't any booby traps." Harry gritted his teeth, full of rage straining for release.

"I said there weren't any weird hedge animals or bottomless pits. We do lock up."

"Then open the frigging door."

"No, I think we should consider a plan for a moment. Novel idea, I grant you, but my father is far from stupid. And, oh yeah, the Dark Lord of all Evil, He Who Shall Not be Named, Mr. Ask Me How to Be Bad is in there with him." Draco cocked his head to one side. "So, Hero, what do you think? Go in stealthy, and see what's what?"

Harry started to glow. Draco moved to jump back, but Harry grabbed the blond's wrist, holding him tightly. It was like completing a circuit. Harry threw out a hand and shouted, "Open!"

The doors flew open with a mighty boom that echoed through the mansion. "Right then," Draco nodded. "Screw subtle. We'll take the straightforward route."

Grimly they entered into the Mansion. Harry gripped the handle of his sword in full fighting stance. He shot a challenging glance at Malfoy, grinning as he said, "In for a knut. . ."

"In for a galleon." Draco seemed to brace himself.

A large muscular man appeared in the foyer. In one hand, he held a wand. In the other he held a gun.

"Well, that's something that doesn't usually come up in your story, huh, Hero?" Draco asked.

"What the hell is that thing?" Sheldon asked, his eyes fixed on the gleaming metal object pointed at Harry.

"That is called a gun. A small controlled explosion compels a tiny metal object through the air that when properly aimed will pierce the skin of the intended victim," Hush informed the book. "It's more effective than it sounds."

"Oh."

_"Watch out, Harry! He's about to bust a cap in your ass!"_ Snippy called.

"Who the hell is that?" Harry questioned, his voice betraying no fear, though having spent more time in the Muggle world than any other member of his small rescue party, he understood the best what a gun could do.

"That's our butler," Draco pointed out, casually moving to stand in front of Harry. "Hallo, George! How's the missus?"

"Quite well, young Master Malfoy. Please step away from the Potter boy. I do not wish to harm Lucius's son."

"Do not wish to or won't?" Draco raised a brow. George merely smiled. It was not a pleasant smile. Harry turned to stare at him. "What? It's an important distinction."

"On a scale of one to ten, how deadly is this guy?" Harry asked Draco under his breath.

"About a hundred. He's been my dad's bodyguard since he graduated Hogwarts, so he's had a lot of experience."

Harry raised an eyebrow.

"What can I say? My dad pisses a lot of people off."

"Must run in the family," Harry commented grimly.

Draco eyed the gun. "How's that death wish of yours, Potter?"

"Getting better all the time." Harry yelled up to George, "Pardon me, but would you happen to know if Lucius is entertaining the Dark Lord today?"

"Yes, he is. But I'm afraid he won't be able to see you, because of your imminent death." The butler smirked. "My apologies for being unable to accommodate your request."

"You should step out of my way now," Harry said softly.

"Excuse me?"

"You had better do what he says," Draco stepped up beside Harry. "He's kinda cranky today."

"I believe I'll be making the decisions today, as I am the one holding the gun." The butler glared fiercely at the two boys. "Please move away, young Master Malfoy. I have no wish to explain your death to your father."

"Yeah, I'm sure he'll be real broken up about that." Draco snorted. "Just so you're aware, Hero, George here has killed over a thousand people."

"Most of them never got the chance to fight back," the butler gloated.

"You're not going to get a chance to use that gun." Harry looked George dead in the eye.

Draco crossed his arms over his chest and called to the butler. "Oh, I wasn't on your side, George. I just wanted him to feel right with what he's about to do. He's a real pain in the neck when he's all guilt stricken. You know Gryffindors and their love of the moral high ground." Draco shrugged. "What are you going to do, right?"

George cocked the gun, the click resounding off the marble floors.

Harry stepped forward, walking calmly into the gun, until the cold steel pressed a circle in his chest. George's eyes held the barest hint of hesitation. "Who in the bleeding hell do you think you are?"

"Who am I?" Harry smiled coldly, sending shivers down the spines of the room's occupants.

"Whoever you are, you won't survive a bullet at this range," George warned.

"I am the son of James Potter, and the godson of Sirius Black. I have explored the depths of the Forbidden Forest, faced Dementors and survived the killing curse. I have looked Voldemort himself in the face." Harry waved his hand and the gun turned red hot, burning a small hole in his shirt. A bright red ring appeared on Harry's skin where the hot metal had singed his flesh. George dropped the gun, but to the butler's credit, he never winced at the pain.

"I am Harry Potter," Harry looked deep into George's eyes as he moved his hair away from the famous scar with one hand. "And I am not afraid of a lackey with a melted toy."

George did not waste time gaping. He lifted his wand, shouting, "Expelliarmous!"

Harry watched his wand hit the floor and roll with mild amusement. Harry's eyes flashed with pleasure. "You're going to regret that."

As George scrambled for the knife tucked into the back of his belt, Harry sliced his hand through the air as if trying to chop through the other man's chest using his hand as an axe. "Sectumsempra!"

Deep wounds formed across George's chest and face, blood dripping into the butler's eyes. "What in the - "

George used his time effectively. As the words left his lips, he reflexively threw a punch at Harry, landing it with all the force of his rage and surprise. Harry's head whipped back, but he stood his ground. The pain shot through him, followed closely by dangerously high levels of adrenaline.

"Impedimenta!" Harry shouted, watching with extreme satisfaction as the larger man hit the wall, reverberating across the large open room and up the double staircase. George slid down the wall, his head slumped forward, his gaping wounds still bleeding.

_"Thee, thee, thee . . . lackey."_ Snippy looked up sheepishly as Draco turned an aristocratic eye on him. _"Ssssorry. Been holding that in a while."_

_"Wow . . . That was really violent."_ Snarky shivered. _"Is he dead?"_

"No," Harry whispered softly, his voice almost childlike as he added, "But he can't follow us if he's sleeping."

_"Dude. Can we tone down the psycho vibe just a little?"_ Snippy hissed.

Lucius appeared at the top of the staircase, staring down at his son, his downed bodyguard, two snakes, the evil book that had danced on his head. And Harry Potter. "Welcome home, son."

Snarky sighed. _"That'd be a no-go on the no-psycho bit, B. Damn. A bad snake can't catch a break anymore."_

"Quite the entourage you've brought with you, son." Lucius posed at the top of the stairs. "You know your mother taught you to warn us when you bring guests over." Casually he strolled down the staircase, pausing at the bottom to fold his arms across his chest and glaring at his blond prodigy. "You've been a very bad boy."

"My apologies." Draco bowed deeply. "Father, you've met Harry." Draco watched Lucius's eyes focus on the famous Harry Potter. "He was my - er - 'guest' for the ball."

"Yes, I am familiar with Mr. Potter." Lucius drew a breath but was abruptly cut off.

"Sorry to interrupt, I know you're trying to lead up to an undeniably dramatic and evil quip, but I'm kind of in a hurry." Harry's cheek sported a dark purple bruise, but he hadn't even broken a sweat defeating Malfoy Manor's first defense. Impatiently, Harry strode past the elder Malfoy, moving instinctively towards the drawing room where Voldemort, Hermione and Snape sat in an awkward kind of silence.

Lucius moved as if to stop him, but Harry waved a hand at him. "You wait here."

Lucius stood motionless and watched as Harry walked out of the foyer, Sheldon, Hush, Snippy and Snarky following wordlessly behind him.

Draco paused to walk a slow circle around his father. "So, you're just going to do what he says?"

Lucius nodded his head, though the rest of his body would not move.

"Damn. Bet you wish you'd learned that trick before I realized I was Symmetrius." Draco smirked. "Wouldn't have worked anyways. I'm much stronger willed than you." Draco glanced down the hallway towards Harry. "And Potter's a lot more talented than you."

"Hey, Hero!" Draco mockingly saluted his father before dashing up the hallway after Harry. "Wait up."

"Not so fast, Draco," Lucius drawled. The younger Malfoy paused and turned back to look at his father.

"Oh, that little spell didn't make you mute? Pity. Maybe Potter's not as talented as I thought."

"It won't work, you know. I know you Draco." Lucius' eyes narrowed. "Whatever else you may be, you are my son. Whatever your plan is, it won't work."

"Really?" Draco's eyes iced over.

"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, son. I see why you chose Potter. A magic powder keg about to explode has a superbly unpredictable element that is exactly your style. But you overestimate yourself. Not even you, Draco, can control Potter."

"You're wrong, Father." Draco smiled as he began to back away. Lazily, he drawled, "I can. Because I'm the only one who doesn't want to."

****

* * *

Snippy and Snarky slithered forward in front of the group, slipping under the double doors quietly. They found themselves staring at Voldemort seated on a horrendous paisley couch.

_"Gyuhh! What the hell is that?"_ Snarky shrieked. _"And what the hell is sitting on top of it?"_

_"Yo! Tom -- S'up? Long time no see, buddy! Wow. You got yourself a big old snake face now," _Snippy commented. Voldemort glared at them.

_"Looks good on you!"_ Snarky added quickly. With feigned casualness, the snakes hid behind Snape's knee.

The doors boomed open and Harry stalked through them, unsheathing the sword of Gryffindor in one fluid movement as he walked. His verdant green eyes fixed on Voldemort's face and he came to a stop, sword clasped tightly in his hand.

"Tom, good to see you," Harry said softly.

"Mr. Potter." Voldemort inclined his head slightly and settled comfortably back into the couch cushions, a self-assured smirk on his grotesque face. Draco, Sheldon, and Hush filed in behind Harry. The Dark Lord showed no surprise when Lucius did not follow them in. Voldemort's wand was aimed at Hermione and Snape huddled on the loveseat opposite him. "I suppose you want these back?"

'No."

"What?" Hermione demanded. "Yes, you do! You damn well want us back, Harry!"

Snape shushed her. "Control yourself, Ms. Granger. It appears your Mr. Potter has arrived to rescue us, as you insisted so vehemently that he would."

"Oh." Hermione turned towards Harry. "Sorry I ruined your element of surprise, Harry." A look of concern crossed her features. "That doesn't change your mind about wanting us back, does it?"

Draco stepped up to stand shoulder to shoulder with Harry. Power flowed between them, charging the air. Draco could taste it.

"So, young Harry. If you didn't come for your friends, what did you come for?"

Harry smiled deeply. "Why,Tom -- I came for you."


	23. Guess Not

**Title:** Trading Spaces 23

**Rating: M or "R", for those of you who prefer the olden days.**

**Pairing: H/D, Hr/Sn. (slash, m/m - you've been fairly warned, if you're offended, you wanted to be.**

**A/N's**: Can ya'll say, "Hell yeah?" We're back, baby! (Thee, thee, thee . . .) Peace, love and a couple of sarcastic snakes! Snippy.

**Chapter Twenty-Three: Guess Not.**

****

* * *

Harry swung the heavy sword with the force of destiny, the sharp steel whistling through the air as it cleanly sliced through Tom Riddle's neck, severing his head from his body and sending it to the floor with a grisly thump.

_"Well, that was a lot easier than I expected."_ Snippy nudged Snarky._ "What do you think?"_

_"I give it a ten - solid entrance, great line and decisive action. A little lacking in the wit and dialogue department, but - Holy shit, Dude!"_

Voldemort's head was slowly sliding up his body towards his arm, making a slippery sucking sound that brought to mind a slug moving through snot.

_"That's the most disgusting thing I've ever heard."_ Snippy's mouth ballooned up and half a second later, he threw up on Snape's shoe. The Potions Master looked down in apparent disgust. Snippy leaned over and wiped his mouth off with the bottom of Snape's robe, before looking up at Severus' most terrifying 'unamused face'. Snippy shrugged. _"I feel better now."_

The head was now reseated on the neck, the red-slitted eyes glaring at the occupants of the room.

"C'mon, you're kidding me!" Hermione wailed, trying to fling blood droplets of the toe off her own shoe. "Beheading doesn't kill you?"

Snape nudged her sharply. "Let's stop antagonizing the invincible sociopathic wizard serial killer, shall we?"

"Well, we could always start removing parts and see which ones have the desired effect." Harry's eyes flashed.

_"And here comes crazy,"_ Snippy sighed.

_"Harry, seriously dude - you're my boy -"_ Snarky started cautiously.

_"You're my boy, Harry!"_ Snippy interjected.

_"But could you turn down the dark and sinister, just a notch or two? You're really starting to freak me out,"_ Snarky finished.

Harry shot the snakes a menacing glare.

_"Woah! Ok, we don't like constructive criticism. My bad. Don't disembowel me or anything. Sheesh!"_ Snippy looked away.

"You didn't really think killing me would be that easy, did you?" Voldemort asked scornfully, rising to his full height, which was admittedly a little taller than the angry Gryffindor.

"No, I just thought beheading you would be funny," Harry smirked.

_"Oh, Snippy,"_ Snarky sniffed. _"He's all grown up."_

_"We taught him well."_ Snippy smiled.

Voldemort struck first with a fierce Cruciatus. His features twisted into an ugly sneer, more hideous than before. Hatred, bitterness and insanity poured out of the older wizard. Harry was surrounded by a murky green haze, his body convulsing as the spell took full effect.

"Do you see, son of Lucius?" Voldemort hissed. "Do you see what you chose over me?"

Draco stepped forward, his chin raised. "Can you blame me? Have you even passed by a mirror lately?"

"Stop your idiotic prattle, you stupid, blue-blooded brat," Voldemort spat, his venomous hatred of aristocracy and all the well-bred, spoiled rich kids that had made him miserable for so many years obvious. "Renounce your allegiance to this . . . _boy'_, and take your place by my side. Show me that there's one Malfoy who can follow directions, who's worth something!"

"Oh, that was a mistake," Hush piped up from his perch on the back of the Hermione and Snape's sofa.

"Oooh! Is it time, is it time?" Sheldon cried, shoving his way toward Harry.

"Not yet, old chum," Hush said softly, his eyes holding a note of mournful warning.

"You want to know why my father betrayed you?" Draco set his jaw mulishly. He reached forward, through the haze of the spell and wrapped his hand around Harry's arm. "Because nobody tells a Malfoy what to do. Least of all a crazy freak like you."

The haze broke, Harry solidly finding his feet. As his eyes opened, they flashed a verdant green, Draco's darkening to the slate grey of a thunderstorm spitting out twisters. A loud boom rocked the mansion, while the lamps flickered, then extinguished.

Standing side by side, Harry clutching his sword and Draco's eyes emitting heat that would scorch the sun, the pair of them seemed larger somehow. For a moment, all the occupants just regarded them in shock as they floated just inches above the floor. Harry smiled, the expression one of pure darkness, as he regarded his nemesis. "_Are you afraid_?"

Voldemort glared at them. "I fear no one. You can't kill me."

"Kill you?" Harry's voice was interlaced with Draco's as they spoke from some common place, as fully joined Symmetrius, dangerously close to a magical supernova. "We won't kill you. We're going to remove you from the planet. We are going to erase you from time and space."

"Do you know what that means, Tom?" Draco raised his free hand and Voldemort floated into the air, resisting the urge to struggle. "Not only will nobody care about you anymore, no one will remember you."

"Not even us," Harry added. "Not even you."

"Avada Kedavra!" Voldemort roared, slicing his wand through the air.

"No." Harry waved his hand and the spell dissipated.

"I am evil incarnate. I have power from sources you cannot imagine," Voldemort growled. "I am the Dark Lord!"

_"Ahoy Captain Obvious,"_ Snippy muttered.

_"Right? Is this the time to be relating well known and barely relevant facts?" _Snarky sniffed. _"Hey - Draco's the son of an asshole. Hiney's really smart but has horrible taste in men. Harry's gay. And also crazy."_

_"And also lethal,"_ Snippy pointed out. _"Maybe we shouldn't tease him right now."_

_"Later?"_ Snarky questioned.

_"Word."_ Snippy nodded.

Harry and Draco spoke again as one. "_You_ are the bastard son of a simpleton. Your bloodline is a plague upon all wizarding kind. Your power is insignificant in the face of our wrath." The sound of their words was nearly hypnotic, carrying an authority that was irrefutable, irresistible. "We are Symmetrius. Our power is primal, natural. It is our earned birthright, not stolen from others. You cannot begin to grasp the source of our power."

_"That's so freakin' sweet. Harry's such a badass,"_ Snippy hissed. Snarky nodded emphatically, eyes glued on the confrontation as he popped another piece of candy in his mouth, then tossed one to Snippy.

Draco smiled and hissed, _"Serpensortia."_

_"That'ssss how he did it!" _Snippy smacked his forehead. _"He cast in parseltongue!"_

_"Dude! Thank you for figuring that out - that's been bugging me, Can't have random snake summoners running about the castle. That would totally suck!" _Snarky appeared relieved.

_"It so would!" _Snippy agreed.

Nagini, Tom's pet snake appeared, floating in between the Symmetrius pair and his owner. Harry met the snake's eyes, hissing in parseltongue, _"Hold him, please."_

The snake wrapped around Tom and began slowly tightening until Harry told him to stop.

The Symmetrius pair landed softly on the floor, turning in opposite directions, but as one to face the room. Hermione, Snape and the others stared at them, not blinking for several minutes.

"So, Harry," Hermione finally spoke up. "Symmetrius, huh?"

"Yeah, weird, right?" Harry shrugged. "Who'd have thought?"

"Actually, explains a lot." Hermione said, knowingly.

"Oh, right then." Harry looked at Draco then back at Hermione and finally just looked at the ground.

"Harry?"

"What?"

"Could you untie me, then?" Hermione sighed, exasperated. "These ropes are starting to chafe and I have to pee."

"Oh . . . right." Harry flicked his wrist and the bonds disappeared.

"Severus, too, Harry," Hermione reminded him chidingly as she rubbed her wrists and ankles.

"Fine." Harry flipped him off when she wasn't looking. The snakes cheered in approval.

Draco watched the exchange with amusement, then turned back to where the Dark Lord was bound by his own creation. For now. "I hope that snake has endurance. Scrappy old goat like that could hold out awhile."

"Trust me." Harry's eyes glinted evilly, his voice soft and full of pleasure. "She's hungry. And she really, really, _really_ wants to eat him."

_"Should have played nicer with the huge psychotic snake, huh Tom?"_ Snarky taunted.

_"But noooooo, you had to poke it with sticks and call it names." _Snippy sniffed. _"At least I'm guessing. Shame on you, you bad, bad, Dark Lord, you!"_

"So, anyone got any bright ideas?" Harry asked.

"Now? _Now_ you want to form a plan?" Draco cried exasperated.

"Now there is no longer a threat to distract us," Harry pointed out. He paused to think for a moment.

"Yes, there is - he's just encased in a couple hundred pounds of scales." Draco gestured again. "And if there was no threat - we wouldn't need a plan!"

_"Well, it's not like that's a new experience for him,"_ Snarky commented. _"Maybe he likes it."_

Draco stared at the small snake with raised eyebrows.

_"What? We do."_ Snippy gestured to his own scaly hide.

_"Don't be hating on the ssscales, dude," _Snarky warned.

The room fell silent for a moment.

"Nobody knows how to kill him?" Harry asked, dejectedly, sitting down on the hideous blood spattered paisley sofa.

"I do." Hush stepped forward. "But you're not going to like it."

****

* * *

Troy cringed as Oliver threw what he would classify as a royal Barbra Streisand tantrum. He looked around the empty hall. Despite the noise that Oliver was making, the hall seemed too quiet with the students safely locked in their respective houses. Haze sat in front of Troy on the table, watching the scene apprehensively.

"What do you mean, 'wait'?! They are facing the Dark Lord as we speak!" Oliver threw his hands in the air as he paced back and forth in front of the Head Table in the Great Hall. Dumbledore watched him with a calm expression.

"Dude, stop moving so fast . . . you're making me dizzy." Haze rested his head on the table. "And nauseous. I need a smoke."

"Me too." Troy patted the badger's head.

"I have faith that my students will persevere." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. "Meanwhile, we need to stay here and protect the rest of the students."

"To hell with that!" Oliver turned and stormed out of the Hall.

Troy looked up at the Headmaster. "So, I'm going to go after him now."

"Good luck, Mr. Tatterton." Dumbledore smiled. "Don't worry, he can't get off Hogwarts grounds right now."

"Oh?" Troy looked surprised. "Did you take away his popping in and out of thin air license?"

"No." Dumbledore sighed. "Harry sealed the area. Not even I can break it. Don't fret, we have plenty of food and water." Dumbledore conjured tea and cakes for the table.

"And we can still grow things!" Haze interjected. "Dude, we _can_ still grow things, right? Man, I hate this Voldemort dude. Damn Death Eaters. Ruin everything!"

"We're on lockdown?" Troy gasped. "What if they don't come back?"

"Then you have tenure." Dumbledore smiled kindly. "But I wouldn't worry about what to do if Harry doesn't come back."

"What _do_ you worry about?" Troy asked, exasperated.

"I'm certain Mr. Potter will find his way back to Hogwarts." Dumbledore's expression turned deadly serious. "I worry about what he's going to do when he gets here."

****

* * *

"Damn it! Are you certain, Hush? _Absolutely certain_? All of this power and we can't just blink this bloody bastard right out of existence?"

"I'm afraid not, Harry. Only the two of you - _only_ the two of _you_ on this whole planet have the power to unweave the very fabric of time. And it takes a very special sort of totem to do this. I've never seen a more perfect totem than Sheldon."

_"Hold up, hold up, chicken hawk!"_ Snippy stopped him. _"Quasi-Evil here is the special chosen one?"_

"Sheldon is the only part of Voldemort left remaining alive every time we try to kill him. Sheldon is his anchor to this reality, preventing him from entering the hellish hereafter that he so richly deserves," Hush spoke eloquently. "In essence, quite literally, Sheldon _is_ Tom Riddle."

_"Now, COME ON!" _Snarky looked around the room. _"Did any of you see that one coming?" _

"I did."

_"Shut up, Hush!"_ The snakes snapped.

"You see, young Tom imprisoned his childhood innocence in this book. It was the first and last thing he ever truly poured his heart and soul into. He hid the book away in Hogwarts and forgot about it as he moved on to more sinister activities. That's when Lockhart found it and rewrote it. This book, this 'first edition' contains his laughter, his joy, his love of power and wicked pleasure in being evil, but none of his malice." Hush swallowed thickly. "I'm sorry, Harry."

"Fuck!" Harry fought the urge to put his fist through a wall.

"Well, Hero?" Draco drawled, though there was sympathy in his eyes. "What do we do?"

"To erase Voldemort, you must erase Sheldon," Hush stated sadly.

"You want to erase me, Harry?" Sheldon asked in a small voice, looking up at Harry solemnly.

Harry tossed a look at Draco so full of self-loathing it made the blonde's breath catch. Harry kneeled down in front of Sheldon.

"I have no choice, Sheldon. You're evil," Harry said softly.

"I am?" Sheldon asked, a hitch in his voice. "You really think so?"

"H-harry, Harry, no, you can't do this - " Hermione broke into helpless tears.

"It's alright, Hermione. I'm evil," The book said proudly. "I'm not supposed to be the hero." Sheldon seemed to struggle before he spoke again. "Heroes are the last ones standing, and that is not . . . not me."

Snape wrapped his arms around Hermione's shaking shoulders. Draco moved to kneel behind Harry, bracing his hand on his shoulder, for a moment remembering that the last time they had sat like this, they had just discovered the weird Parsel Snake Family Album and discovered the existence of snake porn.

"Together then?" Harry placed his hand on top of Draco's.

"Together," Draco whispered softly.

"Goodbye, Sheldon." Hermione managed to get the words out without her voice cracking, but just barely.

"Goodbye . . . book," Snape gritted out.

_"Bye, mini-evil. You were our favorite scapegoat,"_ Snippy said glumly.

_"Yeah, we'll miss you, B."_ Snarky tapped his tail against his chest.

"Goodbye." Sheldon said, trying to hide his tears. "Go ahead then, Harry. I can be brave. I'm ready."

"STOP!" Draco shouted, grabbing Harry's arm. The room around them froze.

Literally.

"What did you do?"

"Stopped time."

"You can do that?" Harry gaped at him.

"Apparently." Draco crossed his arms over his chest. "What are you doing, Hero?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're going to knowingly sacrifice - erase, one of your friends to kill Voldemort? When we can make him powerless, contain him . . . even find another way to kill him, in time?"

"You don't get it," Harry said grimly. "We're not just talking about killing him. We're talking about completely and utterly _erasing_ every despicable thing he's ever done! Everyone he ever killed would still be alive - even . . . even . . ."

"Your parents." Draco read the thoughts straight out of Harry's head.

Harry looked down in something akin to shame.

"Well, well, well, Hero. Here it is. The moment I've been waiting for." Draco rocked back on his heels.

"What moment?"

"The question. The crossroads. The decision." Draco looked at Harry. "The choice that decides what kind of great wizard Harry Potter is going to be. Here's your chance to have the loving parents you always wanted and all you have to do is take one insignificant, but innocent life. So what are you going to do, Harry?"

"What would you have me do, Draco?" Harry asked wearily.

Draco gave a small derisive laugh. "Don't tell me that I am your moral compass, Harry, because if so, the whole world is in a lot of trouble."

"The whole world?" Harry rolled his eyes.

"Wait and watch, Hero," Draco said ominously. "Either way, I'm not telling you what to do." And Draco unfroze time.

Harry stared down at Sheldon, who was braced for whatever was to come. He swallowed hard, hesitating as the seconds stretched out before him like some sort of nightmare from which he could not wake. Harry suddenly tensed, the hairs on the back of his neck rising just before he felt dark magic fly across the room. He heard Hermione scream as she hit the ground.

Despite Nagini's fangs now buried in the side of his neck, Voldemort had managed to get one hand free. The hand pointed at Draco, but before he had a chance to cast again, Harry whirled around, sword drawn and with a lightning quick swipe, sliced Voldemort's hand from his wrist.

Baring his teeth in pure hatred, Harry looked Voldemort in the eye as he jammed the end of the sword through the hand, pinning it to the floorboards before it could crawl back to its owner. Nagini closed her coils back around the bleeding limb, and all was still once more.

Snape knelt in the pool of blood spreading beneath Hermione's head, gathering her carefully into his arms. He made no sound, his face one of twisted anguish. She was breathing heavily, clutching a jagged wound in her stomach. Harry regarded her, his expression ice cold. He raised a hand, rubbing his fingers together with his thumb. Hermione's body arched upward, off the floor for a brief instant before collapsing back in Snape's lap. The blood flowed backward, back into her body and the skin knit back together. Gasping, she stared up at Harry in wonder, holding tightly onto Severus' arms, pretending she couldn't feel him shake.

Harry grasped the hilt of the sword, and with a graceful flick, flung the hand into the fire. Stepping forward, he grabbed Draco's arm and pulled them both into a kneeling position before the book. "Sorry, Sheldon. This ends now."

Together Harry and Draco read the words contained on page 117, backwards. It was the story of Voldemort's birth and lineage. As they read, the black ink lifted off the page and formed a roaring vortex around the two men and the book. Their voices entwined and intensified, becoming a pulsing chant that pulled all of the room's occupants into a half trance. And then, the whirlwind vanished, taking the Symmetrius pair and the blank book that had been Sheldon with it.

Snippy and Snarky blinked at the empty space where Draco and Harry had been moments before.

_"Godric damn it."_ Snippy sighed. _"There went the only two people who understood us."_

_"Who's going to laugh at our jokes now?"_ Snarky whined. _"Though, on second thought, they never really laughed at our jokes. Unless they were about Death Breath, here."_ Snarky waved his tail in Severus' general direction.

_"Ewwww . . . Snape,"_ they chorused.

_"Hey, what about Tom? Tom can understand us!"_ Snippy cried.

_"Yeah, but he can't say anything back,"_ Snarky pointed out.

_"Bonus! Like we pay attention to what anyone else says?"_

_"Point taken, compadre."_

Around them, the humans and Hush were blathering on about what was to be done now. The snakes ignored this. They slithered up to where Voldemort seemed frozen in place with his snake, hanging in mid air. Snarky called out, _"Hey, Tom! How's it going, man?"_

Tom didn't acknowledge them, didn't move, didn't even blink.

_"So, if I make that face long enough it _will_ stick that way."_ Snippy considered Tom's countenance. _"Thanks for the heads up, man."_

_"Yeah, way to take one for the team!"_

Still nothing.

_"Think he forgot how to speak snake?"_ Snippy asked.

_"I think he's frozen,"_ Snarky surmised. _"But how can we tell for sure?"_

_"Well . . ."_ Snippy smirked. _"You want to poke him with a stick?"_

_"You have to ask?"_ Snarky nearly leaped into the air with glee. _"Hell yeah, I want to poke him with a stick! Let's do it!"_ Snarky braced himself.

_"Hey, Snarky?"_

_"Yeah, Snippy?"_

_"Do you have a ssssstick?"_

_"Damn it." _

**_SSSS_******

* * *

Harry looked up as the wind died down. He and Draco stood next to a ramshackle house, belonging to the Riddle family.

"Where are we?" Draco slowly stood, offering Harry a hand up.

"At the beginning." Harry dusted himself off. "Where the story ends."

"Nice - very enigmatic."

"Thank you."

"So what in the bloody hell are we supposed to do now?"

"Everything after this in Tom Riddle's life is gone. Now, we finish rewriting History." Harry blinked and they appeared in a tiny attic room upstairs. There, a skinny dark haired boy knelt beside his bed, scribbling furiously in his book. The muffled sounds of drunken shouting and furniture being knocked over drifted up through the floorboards.

The boy looked up at them without fear. Draco took in his face and cursed under his breath. His right eye was purple and swollen and there was a sizable scab on his lip. He peered at them through one squinty eye. "Who are you?"

"I'm Harry Potter."

"Tom Riddle," the boy announced defiantly.

Harry knelt before the boy. "What are you writing?"

"It's a book of protection spells." The boy crossed his arms over his chest, clutching the book protectively. "I don't think you're supposed to be here. My father wouldn't like it."

"Are the protection spells for your father?" Harry reached a hand towards the boy's face. "Did he do that to you?"

The boy lifted his chin mutinously, but said nothing. For a moment, Harry felt like he was locked in the cupboard under the stairs again, listening to Dudley wolf down dinner while Harry's stomach rumbled. His heart constricted with empathy for a second.

"Hey? You want to see a trick?" Harry asked, gently.

"Alright," the boy said cautiously.

Harry reached forward and touched the book. It lit up and then vanished in a flash. Harry smiled enigmatically. Draco frowned, wandering if Harry had become strategic enough to purposefully remove the child's book of _protection_ spells.

"You're like me," the boy said, his voice filling with wonder.

Harry remembered his own reaction to finding out there were other wizards, how special he had felt, how vindicated. Gesturing to Draco, Harry said, "We both are."

"My father says I'm a freak." Tom stood up and turned towards the window, looking out. "I want to kill him for that."

"Don't worry about that now. I'll see to it that he gets what's coming to him," Harry said sincerely.

"You're here to save me, then?" Tom didn't turn around.

Harry pulled his wand, placing the tip of it against the back of the boy's head. Draco watched silently, something akin to fear building in his chest. He remembered his words to Harry in the Forest, what seemed like so long ago_, __And if you're not careful, you're not going to come back from that dark place, Potter_. In Draco's mind, he heard Harry speak. _Think his mother will rescue him?_

"Yes I am, Tom," Harry whispered.

"Harry . . ." Draco breathed.

"Avada Kedavra."

As the child fell to the floor with a soft thump, Harry turned back to Draco, smirking slightly. "Guess not."

TBC . . . .


	24. No More Surprizes

**Title:** Trading Spaces 24

**Rating:** M or "R", for those of you who prefer the olden days.

**Pairing: H/D, Hr/Sn. (slash, m/m – you've been fairly warned, if you're offended, you wanted to be.**

**Note to Brit-Pickers:** Surprise, surprise – I'm an American, and I speak American English. If you don't like it – wait for JK Rowling to write a H/D fic.

**A/N's:**** ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE: **_I'm sure it's obvious at this point, but this story strays away from canon, namely: the death of Sirus and Dumbledore, and the back-story of Tom Riddle and his mother. Obviously, the seventh book's details are not included here either._

_I know some of you are upset about the dark turn that Harry is taking. All I can tell you is that you had fair warning – I foreshadowed the coming darkness. Now, that said, Tom, even as a child was beyond redemption (because I wrote him that way!), his comment about killing his father was meant to express that somewhat, but let me state it irrefutably, if Harry wanted to stop Voldemort, little Tom had to die, he was dark and corrupted, and there was no way to go back far enough to save him, so Harry is not completely lost! I hope that gives you some comfort._

_Peace, love and a couple of sarcastic snakes! Snippy._

**Chapter Twenty-Four: No More Surprizes**

* * *

Draco stared at the dead child on the floor. "Well, you never do anything halfway do you, Hero?"

"No, I don't." Harry's normally bright green eyes were nearly black. "And I'm not finished yet."

Harry turned and headed down the stairs, Draco following a half step behind, still talking. "Where are you going now?"

"To kill the father."

"Excuse me?"

"I promised." Harry tossed Draco a look over his shoulder. "Twice."

"And how do you intend to do that?" They arrived at the bottom of the staircase.

"Slowly." Harry strode across the entrance way to the door of the kitchen where the sounds of Tom Riddle's drunken father alerted them to his whereabouts and kicked it open.

"What in the bleedin' hell?" Tom Riddle, Sr. stood in the middle of the kitchen among overturned furniture and broken dishes. "Who the hell are you?"

"Your comeuppance." Harry pointed his wand. "Crucio!"

"Hero!" Draco exclaimed as the man dropped to the floor, squirming in agony.

"What?" Harry asked dangerously.

"This better be the last one," Draco warned, folding his arms over his chest. "Well, how long are you going to do this?"

"Until he cries." Harry smiled.

"And then?"

"Then I'll put him out of his misery." Harry ended the spell. Tom Riddle, Sr. looked up at him in disbelief.

"Who are you? Why the - what did I ever do to you . . ." He was trying desperately to catch his breath.

"Do you beat your son?" Harry demanded, certain in every way that this man was responsible for the monsterization of Tom Riddle.

"Did he bring you here? That worthless little - "

"Crucio," Harry whispered calmly.

Draco grabbed Harry's wrist. "Harry, you have to stop this."

"Why?" Harry's eyes softened as they met Draco's, but his jaw remained set. "He started it. He twisted that boy until he was barely human as a little kid. He deserves to suffer."

"Be careful what lines you cross, Hero," Draco warned. His insides were churning. He had wanted to set fire to Harry's fuse, to see what happened when the powder-keg inevitably exploded, but now he felt like he was too close to the explosion, that he would be swept up in the chain reaction. The cacophony of noise in Harry's head made Draco wince.

"I thought you _liked_ seeing me cross lines," Harry sneered. He intensified the spell and the man started to scream. Harry cast a silencing charm on him.

Draco put his hands on Harry's shoulder, trying his best to shield his mind from his Symmetrius. He leaned in, resting his forehead against Harry's. "I'm sorry, Hero."

In a flash, Draco's hand moved and he pulled the Sword of Gryffindor from the sheath on Harry's back. "What do you think you're doing, Draco?"

"Ending this." Draco raised the sword in an arc before Harry could react, striking true.

Tom Riddle Sr. lay dead on his kitchen floor.

Harry spun on his heel and stalked out of the house, still shaking with fury. "I can't _believe_ you did that."

"Feeling's mutual, mate." Draco wiped his hand across his face. "You got what you wanted, Hero. He's dead. It's time to stop."

"I'll decide when it's time to stop." Harry turned to face him. "Give me back my sword."

"No."

"No?" Harry's eyes flashed dangerously. "Do you want me to take it from you?"

"You can try." Draco braced himself.

Harry contemplated Draco for a moment, then reached his hand into the sky, and drew a new sword from thin air. The steel whistled through the air as he whipped it up around his head and brought it down in a straight slash in front of him. His voice sounded in Draco's head again. _Come on then, Malfoy._

"Nice sword," Draco drawled.

"I'm glad you think so." Harry presented the hilt to the blond before moving into his fight stance. "The sword of Slytherin."

"Are we going to do this or are we going to have show and tell?" Draco smirked.

The sounds of steel clashing rang through the clearing. Draco fought with all the grace and finesse his father had taught him over the years. Harry fought with a wildness borne of rage and an innate ability that was close to a match for Draco's training. Close.

Draco found an opening, knocking Harry's blade to the side. The blond plunged the sword through Harry's middle, watching Harry's eyes widen as he felt the steel passing straight through him. Draco pulled back, the sword sliding out of Harry as easily as it had gone in. Harry fell to the ground, clutching the wound in his stomach and staring up at Draco in disbelief.

"Let me guess," Draco said wryly, planting the tip of the sword in the soft ground and leaning on the hilt. "You can't _believe_ I did that."

Harry stared down at the hand covering his stomach. It was clean. No blood. No wound. As he started to come out of his shock, he realized there was no pain. "What the hell?"

"We're Symmetrius, Hero." Draco sighed. "You don't listen to a damn thing I say, do you? You can't hurt me, I can't hurt you. So we can stay in this clearing and beat on each other until you get whatever this is out of your system, if that's what you want. But we're never going to get anywhere."

Harry remained on the ground, staring at the shack behind Draco. That house, that wretched house, was where all of the bad things in his life had begun. It was the origin of his suffering, of his childhood angst, of his greatest pain. Looking at the Dursley's house made him feel sick to his stomach. He didn't have words for the emotions evoked by looking at the Riddle House.

"What? You want to throw rocks at the house?" Draco asked, his bemused tone hiding his concern.

Harry suddenly leaned to one side and vomited. He kept seeing the image of the dead kid on the floor and was disgusted with himself. There was no doubt in his mind that Tom was evil, even at that young age, dark and twisted beyond rescue, and they could go no further into the past, couldn't take Tom away as a baby. He wasn't even sure if taking him as a baby would have helped. He wiped his mouth, remaining silent, staring at the house.

Harry contemplated the nature of evil. Could you be born evil? Was evil in your soul from day one? Or was it forced on a person through their life and the decisions they made? Was he evil for doing what he had done? Harry had no answers. For a second, all was quiet.

Then the house was rocked by ear-shaking multiple explosions, spraying the pair of wizards with broken glass as the windows shattered. Draco threw himself over Harry, shielding his eyes. When the explosions stopped, leaving the house engulfed in a roaring inferno, he lifted himself up into a sitting position, meeting Harry's eyes with a small smile.

"That works, too."

Harry nodded, not hiding the tears running down his face as he watched the Riddle House burn to the ground. Draco said nothing. He didn't touch Harry or offer comfort. He just sat next to him until there was nothing left of the house but the skeletal remains of the foundation.

"You know," Draco smirked. "Until I remembered you decided to throw up on Voldemort's house for good measure, I had images of us having mad sex in all of these floating ashes as the house came down next to us."

"How poetic." Harry smiled a little. "And . . . sleazy."

"What can I say? I'm a Malfoy - we're good at that particular combo," Draco stated wryly. "So, Hero, got a question for you."

"Yeah?"

"How the hell do we get back?"

"You can stop time, but you can't get us back where we belong?"

"That's not the way Symmertrius works. We complement each other's talents, symmetrically. Hence the name." Draco sighed. Apparently he was the researcher of the pair. "There are things that you can do that I can't."

"Known that for awhile." Harry smirked, rising to his feet. "Take my hand."

Draco reached for him, but Harry suddenly pulled back, rubbing his hands on the back of his jeans. "What's wrong, Hero?"

"T-there's blood on it." Harry looked down, hiding the anguish in his eyes. Draco felt a strange tightening in his chest. He had never felt it before, but he thought it might be hope. Harry was not lost. Not yet.

Draco grasped Harry's hand. "Blood on your hands doesn't faze a Malfoy, Hero."

The maelstrom opened, swirling the drifting ashes of the Riddle house around them until it all faded away.

****

* * *

Draco and Harry reappeared in the drawing room of Malfoy Manor. Voldemort was gone. The room was empty. Harry sat down heavily on one of the black leather couches.

"So, I had a thought," Harry said.

"Is it lonely?" Draco grinned. Harry shot him a look that said he was in no mood. "Sorry, you were thinking?"

"Well, we probably changed the time line. Maybe I shouldn't be here." Harry bit his lip, looking up at Draco through a thick fringe of messy black hair.

"Afraid of what my Father will think, Hero? I'm not." Draco sprawled across the couch opposite Harry, fixing him with an intense look. "You're my Symmetrius, Hero. _Mine_." The ferocity in Draco's storm grey eyes took Harry's breath, and he intensely wanted to hear Draco say it again. "If my Father's not used to having you around, he'll have to get used to it."

"And if he doesn't want to?"

"You don't want to see the force it would take to keep us apart if we didn't want to be." Draco propped his feet up on the expensive coffee table, and for a moment, Harry saw him as he used to, the spoiled son of an aristocrat, who knew full well that rules didn't apply to him. Only now, Harry respected that attitude and perspective, appreciated the arrogance and daring that came with it, fully enjoyed the picture that Draco presented. It was . . . reassuring, somehow.

At that moment, Lucius entered the room. "Well, well, well. Mr. Potter, what are you doing here?"

"Visiting," Draco commented casually, carefully monitoring his Father's reaction.

"Alright, but you better send an owl to your mother if you're staying for supper again. I refuse to sit through her 'be more responsible, Lucius' lecture one more time." Lucius smiled easily, passing behind his son and ruffling his blond hair. Draco jerked for a second, half expecting some sort of attack. Lucius just grinned, adding, "As a matter of fact, I'll send an owl to James and invite them both over - it's been awhile."

Harry could feel himself staring at Lucius at he started to comprehend what he was saying. Harry's mother and father . . . he was having dinner with his mother and father tonight. Harry felt paralyzed, as if he would never move again.

Snippy and Snarky took that opportune moment to slither out from under the couch. _"Hello!"_

"Oh, no." Lucius sighed disgusted. "I know you two can Apparate anywhere at will, and the affords you the luxury of visiting often. But for the last time, leave those two in the Common Room when you visit."

_"Yeah, you can't just be removing mascots all willy-nilly!"_ Snippy called, snickering.

_"So, Harry, is this the Twilight Zone or what? Do-do, do-do, do-do, do-do . . ." _Snarky laughed. _"You are headed down a road, approaching a sign post that clearly says, 'Toto, we are not in Kansas anymore.'"_

_"Nice, two pop culture refences, same sentence. You are a master of your art,"_ Snippy complimented. _"And what a dumb name for a dog. Toto? Really?"_

_"Hey, there's Luci-yuck and he's not molesting anyone."_ Snarky bumped into Snippy. _"I love time changes!"_

_"So wait, you guys remember?"_ Harry hissed at them.

_"Of course - we're magical creatures,"_ Snippy spoke slowly, enunciating each hiss, as if speaking to a small child. Harry glared at him.

_"Yeah - but what sucks is we don't get the magical transport back to where we're supposed to be - so you're stuck with us."_

_"That does suck,"_ Draco chimed in, a morose look on his face.

Lucius looked up, shaking himself a little. "That's it! Both of you - up to Draco's room and take the snakes with you! I can't stand hearing parseltongue!"

_"Well, deal with it, Luci-yuck. We don't like hearing pedophile speak or being molested by pimp canes, but you don't hear us bitching, do you?"_ Snippy sniffed.

_"Well, actually he does. I'm pretty sure that was his point,"_ Snarky pointed out.

_"Oh. Right then."_ Snippy nodded. _"But it's not like he undersssstands us."_

_"Who does?"_

"This just keeps getting weirder and weirder," Draco whispered to Harry as they began to collect the snakes, Harry moving rather mindlessly until Draco's voice seemed to shake him out of it.

"I can't even imagine what's going to happen next." Harry sighed, hurrying towards the door. "I don't know if I can take anymore surprises."

"And boys," Lucius added as the reached the door. "I mean it - leave the snakes at Hogwarts! If you don't start listening to my as a parent, I'll have to start enforcing the rule as the Headmaster."

"Headmaster?" Draco scoffed. "Of what?"

"Very funny, son." Lucius folded his arms over his chest. "I'm serious, Draco. We discussed this when I took the position of Headmaster of Hogwarts, and I expect you to respect our agreement and me. And that goes for Harry, too. Is that clear?"

"Yes, sir." Draco nodded, looking at Harry. They bolted out the door.

****

* * *

Hermione continued working on the "special project" potion that Professor Snape had enlisted her help with. It was very unusual for him to tap a student from another house to assist him, and she had the inkling that there was more to this potion than he had told her. She glanced over her shoulder at where he sat scrunched over his desk, a strange feeling stirring low in her belly.

Something had been different all day today, but she couldn't put her finger on it. It was hard to describe, but it seemed to be happening all over the castle. Today felt like a dream, but it was all too real. She couldn't shake the thought that she had forgotten something - something vitally important. It was like she had been trying for weeks to solve some puzzle, and could not remember what the puzzle was since she had woken up today.

Her next glance caught Snape staring at her. She stood up straight, staring back at him openly.

"Is there something that you require, Miss Granger?" He asked. His tone was all wrong for the question. It was polite and warm, no trace of a sneer anywhere. Hadn't he been sneering at her all semester - all her school career? There was a strange light in his eyes as he looked at her.

"No?" Hermione's brow furrowed. She felt like she should be checking on a friend, but she had spoken to all of her friends at breakfast this morning and all was quiet on the Gryffindor front. She shrugged, looking back at Snape again. "No, sir."

"You may call me 'Severus' if you wish," he said suddenly.

"I may?" Hermione blinked. "Is that really appropriate for a student?"

Snape started to argue with her about her student status, but realized that she was perfectly correct. No students, regardless of grade level, age or talent, were free to address him by his first name, with the exception of Draco, for whom he let it slide on occasion because . . . because of his father . . . who was Headmaster. Severus shook his head as if to clear it. None of that seemed right. His brain seemed to be coming up with answers that countered what his intuition had been anticipating. Something about spying . . . but no, it was gone again. And that was just ridiculous. Who would he be spying on?

His gaze wondered to Hermione of his own volition, taking in her open school robes, and perfectly pressed uniform. He couldn't help but admire her form, the precision of her dress, the way she moved . . . suddenly his brain flashed with an image.

Hermione's uniform lay crumpled on the floor of his personal chamber. The brunette enchantress herself lay sprawled, gloriously naked, across his bed. Her fingers curled in one long, dark tress, trailing the silky length across her lips before tossing the curls impishly over her shoulder. She crooked her fingers at him, giving him a come hither smile.

Severus coughed, shaking as he turned away. Well, that certainly wasn't appropriate. He hadn't felt so embarrassed since that idiotic Muggles Professor had tried to kiss him at the start of term. Thank Merlin, Troy was too occupied with staring at the Quidditch Instructor, Oliver Wood, to follow him around anymore.

"Professor? Are you alright?" Hermione stepped closer to his desk, her hand hovering over his shoulder hesitantly.

Severus looked up, his vision full of her cinnamon eyes. She leaned closer, actually placing that small hand on his shoulder, her expression entranced. Suddenly, his hands rose of their own will, pulling her down on to his lap as his lips covered hers. She returned his kiss with full passion, moaning his name a little.

Hermione pushed back, jumping off his lap and breathing hard. She looked around panicked, but they were alone.

Severus just sat there, staring at her. "Miss Granger?"

"Yes?" She refused to look him in the eye.

'I have no wish to offend you, but I think I may be under some sort of strange spell."

"Yeah?" Hermione's mind raced. Was he serious? Or was this some sort of perverted, magic teacher way of hitting on her? The old 'I'm-under-your-spell' trick, so to speak? And could this day get any weirder!? Yet, strangely, kissing him hadn't felt weird, it had felt . . . well, she was nowhere near ready to decide how it made her feel.

"I think my memories may have been changed." Snape frowned. He also had a sinking feeling that the vision he had was a faded memory. "Or possibly reality. My memory is usually impeccable."

"Not to mention, you'd think you'd remember making out with a student," Hermione babbled. Catching his look of disdain, she shrugged defensively. "I'm just saying - if that sort of memory doesn't stick out in your mind, you have bigger problems."

"We must find out what has changed." Snape felt equal parts affection and ire rising inside him as he listened to her irreverent tone.

"Ok, so . . . I'm sorry, I'm a little lost." Hermione stared at him as if he'd lost his mind. "What are we supposed to do now?"

"We have to make a special potion."

"I thought we were already doing that." Hermione regarded him suspiciously, and he had the distinct impression that she was trying to decipher whether or not "making a potion" was another sexual metaphor.

"Obviously, I was referring to a _different_ special potion," Snape replied dryly. "This one is used to detect alternate realities, distortions in the timeline, etc. Under normal circumstances, it is used in this school when there is an accusation of misuse of a time turner by a student."

Snape moved to his potions cupboard and began pulling out key indredients. "Miss Granger, please send a note to all of the Heads of House that all potions classes are cancelled for the rest of the day."

"Yes, sir." Hermione noticed a flirtatious smirk creeping on to her face and quickly fended it off with change of subject, as she sat down to write the cancellation parchment. "You know, I used a time turner, and I never had to take a special potion."

"Pay attention, Miss Granger," Snape carefully emphasized her formal title, and resolutely refused to admire the curve of her legs as she bent over to write. "It is used by professors, not students. It creates projections of reality - two or more, depending on how often a specific time has been revisited, etc, side by side, allowing us to examine both for discrepancies, wrong-doing . . . what have you."

"Oh, I get it." A thought occurred to her. "Do you punish students for mistakes they make and then go back and correct?"

"Yes."

"That hardly seems fair."

"Why are you worried? You're the least likely of any to do something wrong." Snape pointed out, trying to pretend the comment didn't sound too familiar.

"Well, actually . . ."

"Yes?"

"Nevermind." He didn't need to know about the time she and Ron had been convinced Professor Snape was jinxing their Quidditch team, so she had set the Potions Master on fire to distract him.

****

* * *

_"Sssso, this is what the sex god's room looks like. I expected something more . . ._" Snippy looked around. _"I don't now, whips, chains, handcuffs . . . whipped cream, something."_

"What the fuck is going on here?" Harry paced back and forth, raking his fingers through his unruly black hair. "We've landed in the Twilight Zone!" The snakes chimed in with the theme song again.

"The what zone? Is that by Diagon Alley?" Draco looked confused.

"Shut up, Malfoy," Harry growled.

"Well, hello to the school yard, Potter. Something on your mind?"

"Yeah. I just destroyed the Dark Lord of the Wizarding World and ended up in his successor's parlor."

"Well, to be fair, that's also where you began the endeavor," Draco pointed out. "And he's not necessarily the new Dark Lord. He's just Headmaster of Hogwarts."

_"Yeah, a pedophile in charge of a school, that was a mark of genius."_ Snarkly slithered onto Draco's dressing table, aimlessly poking through drawers. _"Hello - handcuffs!"_

_"Hey, stay out of that drawer!"_ Draco slammed it shut so quickly it spun Snarky around and knocked him on to the floor.

_"Hey, careful there, Princey!"_ Snarky snapped at him, brushing off his scales. _"Don't damage the merchandise."_

_"Princey?"_

_"It was better than Headmaster's son,"_ Snarky grumped. _"It was the best I could do on short notice."_

_"I feel you, my dude. I'm flippin wore out. It's hard work being this sarcastic all the time. And we haven't even had a snack in like, nearly an hour and a half!"_

_"Unspeakable! Better start looking for that whip cream."_

_"Yeah, but would we really want to eat it?"_

_"Good call, compadre. Hey, Sex God! You gotta butler around here or anything? One of those helpful, dressed in black and white types that feeds you? A nanny? Anything?"_ Snarky asked hopefully.

"We should go." Harry pushed his hand impatiently through his hair.

"Ok. Go where?" Draco was staring out his bedroom window at the expansive driveway below.

"Back to Hogwarts - to get help - to find Dumbledore - something!"

"We can't go," Draco said, his voice oddly gentle.

"Why not?"

"Because, Hero." Draco grabbed Harry's shoulders to stop his incessant pacing, looking deeply into his eyes. "Your parents are here."

****

* * *

Snape turned the fire under the cauldron down. He flicked his wand at the doors to lock the potions classroom and then at the windows to shut the curtains. Hermione looked at him questioningly.

"We don't want anyone to realize what potion we have concocted. It could incite panic, and with its distinctive odor, it is certainly a possibility."

Hermione wrinkled her nose at the _distinctive_ odor. "Alright. So, now you drink?"

Snape poured the potion into two goblets. "We drink."

Hermione nodded. "Are you sure I should be participating in this, if traditionally it's not for students? I mean -"

"Do no question me." Snape realized that under other circumstances, including a student in the activity would not be appropriate, but he had poured the potions before even considering this and was not the sort to backtrack or allow his decisions to be criticized.

Hermione lifted her goblet and waited for Severus to drink the potion first. As she downed the liquid, she was pleased to find it tasted much better than it smelled and made her slightly light headed. Feeling dizzy, she sat on the edge of his desk. A shimmering circle appeared before them, slowly spinning into two ovals that rather resembled mirrors. The ovals moved towards them, finally encompassing the two occupants of the Potions classroom and planting the actual events of the past into their memories.

As the spell ended, Hermione found herself looking up into Snape's face. He stood before her, trembling slightly, his eyes filled with passion. She swallowed hard. "Doors locked?"

"Yes." His voice was like warm honey.

"Curtains drawn?" Hermione licked her lips.

"Curtains drawn." Severus reached down, grasping her shoulders and pulled her to her feet, crushing her to his chest. His mouth came down on hers in a kiss of passion and victory, Emotions swept though her. Severus cradled the back of her head in his hands.

"Wait, wait! We have to find out what happened to Harry and Draco and . . ." Hermione pulled back from him.

"Later." Snape pushed her back onto his desk. "They're Symmetrius. They're fine."

Hermione wrapped her legs around his waist, letting her skirt ride up her thighs. She gave Severus a come-hither smile and whispered, "Whatever you say . . . Professor."

**One More Chapter To Go . . . .**


	25. Last One Standing

**Title:** Trading Spaces 25

**Rating**: M Ahoy! Very Mature adult content ahead – you've been warned.

**Pairing: H/D, Hr/Sn. (slash, m/m – you've been fairly warned, if you're offended, you wanted to be.)**

**A/N's: **So here it is, folks.(Sniff) The bad news – this is the LAST chapter of Trading Spaces. The story has come to an end. It will be no more. I do have a short epilogue, which involves a certain book we all know and love or hate . . . but that's it!

On the bright side, grin I'm writing a sequel. "Trading Places" (tentatively named) is in progress and should start being posted soon. That is, if any of you care to read it?

_Peace, love and a couple of sarcastic snakes! Snippy._

**Chapter Twenty-Five: Last One Standing**

* * *

Draco took a moment to consider the enigma of Harry Potter, the former hope, light and shining beacon of happy, fluffy feelings of the Wizarding World. A man Draco knew better than any other wizard, and yet sometimes felt like he did not know at all. Harry was at all times strong, valiant, brave - a hero, words never used to describe the so-called Prince of Slytherin. And while Harry was also clever, cunning and somewhat ruthless (attributes that Draco felt he had influenced in Harry), Harry still managed to do it all with that heroic light still shining in his eyes, standing up to the tests that came without fear, without doubt, without regret.

And right now, in this moment, Harry was looking out a window at his reward - his heart's desire, granted to him for having the courage and fortitude and whatever else heroes had that they were rewarded for when they un-trembling faced the very hounds of hell. Except, now - _now - _Harry was shaking.

Harry gripped the window sill in white knuckled desperation, swallowing hard. "I have to get out of here."

Draco stepped behind him, bracing his own hands on either side of Harry, caging him in. "Don't be stupid, Hero. You can't run away now."

"I can't do this."

"Meet your parents? And I thought that was supposed to be hard for me - not you." Draco smirked. He could feel the emotion rolling through Harry - abject terror. It was strange, confusing, something that Draco himself had experienced on more than one occasion, but something he had never felt from his Symmetrius. "They're not Dementors, Harry. They're not illusions, or tricks, or ghosts. They're real, they're here, and they're expecting to see you."

"I killed a child."

_"Hello to the non-sequiter!"_ Snippy slithered up the window curtain to peer out, Snarky moving up the curtain opposite him.

_"Woah - hold up! You were supposed to kill Tom!"_ Snarky explained. _"Didn't you follow the directions?"_

"He did kill Tom," Draco told them before turning back to Harry. "You killed Tom Riddle."

"As a little kid." Harry's voice sounded hollow.

"A little monster is still a monster, Hero," Draco said softly. "And if you hadn't, you wouldn't have parents to face."

_"Ohhh . . . I get it!"_ Snippy tapped himself on the forehead with his tail.

_"He doesn't want to face his parents because he's afraid he's evil now," _Snarky whispered loudly.

_"C'mon, Harry - are you kidding me? That wasn't a little kid - that was Lord Voldemort. Hell, he should be killed for coming up with that name in the first place." _Snippy sighed.

_"It's not like you kicked his puppy and made him drop his lollipop," _Snarky pointed out. _"I mean, really - what, was he playing hopscotch at the time?"_

"He was still a child - and all beat up like that . . ."

_"Sheesh - you beat him up, too? That's a little mean, considering you were just going to kill him anyway."_ Snippy frowned. _"Couldn't you have just stuck your tongue out at him and said, 'so there' or something?"_

"I wasn't the one who beat him up!"

_"Then what are you all getting all upset about?"_ Snippy asked, exasperated.

"I KILLED HIM!" Harry shouted, his frustration reaching it_s peak._

_"YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO!"_ The snakes didn't like being shouted at. They turned their backs on Harry.

"Yeah, but I was supposed to - I mean, after, I wasn't going to . . ."

"Harry." Draco stared at him. Harry swallowed. He had never heard Draco say his real name like that. "You weren't trying to get me to kill you, were you? Were you?" Draco shook him. "Look at me! Outside, with the sword, were you you trying to get me to kill you?"

Harry tensed up. "I . . . don't know. It doesn't feel right . . . me being just fine after . . . after all of that."

"Well, you _are_ still alive." Draco pushed away from him, his expression cold. Harry turned his back to the window, looking at Draco warily. "You have two choices Hero - live with the world as what you made it, or go back and kill your parents to save Voldemort."

_"That was really honest,"_ Snippy said. At Harry's sharp look he quickly added, _"I mean, harsh. And rude. And . . ."_ Harry was still glaring. _"Inappropriate . . . and supposed to be a secret, I'm guessing. Snarky - c'mon here, help a brother out, he won't stop staring at me!"_

_"Just slowly back away . . . don't break eye contact,"_ Snarky whispered, as he too started in backward motion. _"That's it . . . good Harry . . . no sudden movements, Snip."_

Shaking his head, Harry set his jaw.

Draco raised an eyebrows. "What now, Potter? Want to have another sword fight? Or are we just going to trade insults for awhile?"

"You're right."

"Excuse me?" Draco shook his head as if he could not have heard right.

"There's no excuse for you, Malfoy." Harry sighed.

_"I thought being a Malfoy was an excuse?"_ Snippy looked perplexed.

_"His father thought so, but I don't think it actually counts."_ Snarky pondered the question. _"Unless you are a Malfoy. Or a Slytherin. Or easily swayed by large amounts of money. Or gratuitous immoral sex."_

"Did you just say I was right? Because I might have to alert the Daily Prophet." Draco smirked.

"Even a blind gnome finds a turnip every now and then." Harry sighed deeply. "You're right, I know you're right. I just feel so . . . so . . ."

"Dirty?" Draco's eyes flashed. "I can fix that."

"Nothing I've ever seen or heard about you doing has ever made anyone _anywhere_ feel _less_ dirty." Harry crossed his arms over his chest.

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Potter." Draco gestured to a door in the back of his room. "I was going to suggest you shower before dinner."

Draco moved to check his closets for something suitable for Harry to meet his parents in. He found what appeared to be a set of Harry's clothing on one side, and a shelf stacked with extra towels just above it. Apparently, Harry stayed with Draco a lot in this time line. They headed for the showers.

_"Well, looks like the thought of showering with the Slytherin sex god cheered him up."_ Snippy shrugged.

_"Seems to have that effect on a lot of people."_ Snarky nodded. _"Of course, that's usually cheering up after failing an exam -"_

_"Or smelling Snape's breath!"_

_"Who knew it was effective for a guilty conscience?"_

_"Uh - no one,"_ Snippy pointed out. _"Not a lot of that in Slytherin House."_

_"Guilt?"_ Snarky asked incredulously.

_"Conscience."_

_"Oh, right."_ They exchanged a look before breaking into snakey laughter. _"Thee, thee, thee . . . ."_

****

* * *

Lucius handed a freshly poured brandy to James Potter, a charming, if slightly insincere smile on his face. While his son's . . . unique circumstances had necessitated this unlikely alliance, it never failed to unnerve him a little.

"James." Lucius held up his own brandy, taking a solid swallow to brace himself for the evening ahead. "Lily - can I get you something?"

"No thank you, Lucius." She gave him a tight smile. These little gatherings were always a little tense. She knew James hated coming over here, but Harry's relationship with Draco was important to their son, so they worked through it, however confusing it was.

Tonight was especially tense. An incident at Hogwarts had thrown new suspicions on to their sons' relationship. Well, the suspicions weren't new, but they had certainly become more complex, and now seemed to be becoming more evident. Which wouldn't be such a huge problem, if a more physical relationship wasn't likely to send their Symmetrius powers into full force, the consequences of which were hard to imagine.

"So, if that's enough with the pleasantries, please tell us what happened," James send tensely. "What did they do?"

"Well, it's more about what Draco did." Lucius studiously ignored the extremely 'not surprised' look on the Potters' faces. "But I'm afraid it may point to a 'closer' connection than we had thought was in place."

"So, you think they've . . . you know?" Lily cursed her inarticulateness. She felt like she was back in school, blushing her way through her first real conversation about sex. She was a parent for crying out loud! She had to be able to talk about these things. "You think they are intimate?"

"I know they're intimate," Narcissa said softly, with a chuckle in her voice. "He's a Malfoy." She cast a look at her husband. "It's just a matter of to what degree - which is something we need to take immediate action to ascertain, while there's still a chance we can do something."

"Do something?" James raised an eyebrow. "And do you have a plan to 'ascertain' these facts or perhaps an intervention planned?"

"James!" Lily scolded.

"Well, really! What are we going to do? We all know what happens when we try to separate them." James folded his arms over his chest stubbornly, as the rest of the room grimaced at the memory of the summer they had tried to keep the two of them apart. "So what? We sleep in their rooms with them? Find a chastity spell? Rush in if we hear strange noises and bust it up?"

Lucius' mouth twitched. "I'm not sure we could 'bust' in to their rooms if they didn't want us to."

"Is all of this necessary?" Lily frowned. "Lucius, please just tell us what you observed."

"I can't believe this happened in the middle of the Great Hall and didn't end up in the Daily Prophet," James grumbled.

"I'm not." Narcissa's tone was a little too innocent to be believable.

"As you wish," Lucius conceded, pausing briefly to refill his drink. "It all started with Seamus Finnegan."

* * *

**Flashback-No-Tom-Riddle-Timeline**

* * *

Harry and Draco walked together towards the doors of the Great Hall, having just finished their lunch at the Slytherin Table. Dressed impeccably and expensively, easily the hottest boys at Hogwarts, they were bound to draw a lot of attention. Add into that the way they moved in perfect coordination, shoulders nearly brushing, in graceful deliberate movements, Draco's marked by a touch of arrogant swagger, and Harry's by a sense of solid purpose, and even the professors found themselves staring from time to time. Eyes seemed to follow them wherever they went in the castle, whispered words creating a solid murmur. The word Symmetrius was held back by the lips of all of the professors. Not even the students dared to say the words directly. However, the exact connection between the two young wizards was perfectly open to debate - and everybody seemed to have their own opinion on their relationship.

Suddenly there was a flash of light from the direction of the Gryffindor Table. Draco pushed Harry to the ground just in time to let the spell fly over their heads.

"What the hell?" Harry hit the floor, Draco following him down and softening his fall by pulling Harry close to his chest and allowing his own arms to hit the floor first. Their gazes locked and fury was flashing in Draco's slate grey eyes.

Draco was on his feet in the next second, wand drawn, glaring back at the Gryffindor Table. His white blond hair falling into his eyes, his lips parted in a sneer worthy of Lucius at his most deadly. Seamus Finnegan stood there, the smirk on his face displaying his guilt better than a confession.

"You got a problem, Finnegan?" Draco snarled. He reached down, and Harry grasped his arm at the wrist, allowing the Slytherin to pull him to his feet, barely noting the way Draco positioned Harry protectively just behing his broad shoulder. They moved forward, meeting Seamus in the middle of the aisle.

"What's the matter, Potter?" Seamus ignored Draco. When Harry had chosen to be friends with Draco, it had healed a lot of the rivalry between Gryffindor and Slytherin. A lot of it - but not all of it. "Can't defend yourself? Need a Slytherin bodyguard?"

Harry started to move forward, but Draco stopped him with an elegant wave of his hand. Draco smiled. "No need to get your hands dirty, Potter."

"The next time you come too close to Harry, I'll put _you_ on the floor." Draco's voice was the epitome of serious.

Seamus took a deep breath, but refused to back down, his eyes spitting fire at Draco and Harry. Harry pushed forward, his jaw muscles clenched. "You got something to say, Finnegan?"

"Not to a house traitor like you," Seamus gritted out. "Besides, I wouldn't want to upset your _boyfriend_."

"I'm sorry, Finnegan. I told you, you're just not my type." Harry sneered.

Seamus took a swing at Harry. Draco moved lightning fast, grasping Seamus's fist in his hand. With a vicous twist, as promised Draco put him on the floor. When Seamus tried to stand, Draco set his expensive boot lightly on his chest, casting his eyes fiercely at the entire room. "Nobody touches _my_ Harry." He made a sound dangerously close to a snarl. "_Nobody, understand?"_

Harry put a hand on Draco's shoulder, he turned and their gazes locked again. For a moment, it was like everyone else disappeared. They seemed to come to some kind of mental consensus to leave, which was avidly noted by those who contended they were telepathic. Seamus tried to stand as they turned to go, but with a casual wave of Harry's hand, he found himself back on the floor as if gravity itself had tripled its force on him.

Together, Harry and Draco exited the Great Hall, their shoulders brushing, power crackling between them, the rest of the student body watching avidly, a hushed murmur ringing behind them, _Did he say my Harry?_

* * *

**END OF FLASHBACK**

* * *

Harry barely noted the impressive black marble fixtures and rich opulence of the bathroom he had entered. Accustomed to showering before the boys in the Gryffindor dorms and way beyond thoughts of modesty, he began stripping off his clothes, intent on the concept of the healing power held by a hot shower, or at least the concept of a twenty minute distraction. He heard the shower turn on behind him with a start, reminding him rather abruptly that Draco was there.

Draco's shirt was open, his leather pants undone, his feet bare. He looked up at Harry through a fringe of pale blond hair, holding his gaze as he turned the heat all the way up. Harry started to tremble, as his hands fell away from his pants. Draco walked slowly over to Harry, setting his hands on the waistband of Harry's pants. The blond leaned in close, their faces a breath apart. Deliberately, Draco pushed the pants down off Harry's hips, letting them pool on the floor.

Draco turned and walked into the shower, spreading his arms so the spray shot across his shoulders, tilting his head back to let it wet his hair, then again met Harry's eyes. "Coming, Hero?"

"I'm barely breathing hard." Harry stepped into the shower.

Draco grabbed Harry by the throat and firmly pushed him against the shower wall. Harry felt Draco's body settle against his own and a low groan came unbidden from his throat as he came into contact with all of that gloriously naked flesh. Draco whispered, "I can change that."

"You think so?" Harry took Draco's mouth in a fierce kiss, one hand fisting in the blond hair, the other pressed against the shower wall for support. "Are you really _that_ good?"

"Oh, Hero, I'm _more_ than that good." Draco's hands slid over Harry's wet skin as he returned the kiss with full fury, losing himself in Harry's passion. Draco finally broke the kiss, a wicked look in his eyes as he got down on his knees. "Don't you remember? I'm good enough to make you scream."

"Oh - fuck me!" Harry exclaimed as he felt Draco's mouth close over him.

"That was the intention," Draco murmured. Harry closed his eyes, knotting his hands in Draco's hair. He let his head fall back against the shower, trying desperately to breath between the water rushing over him and Draco's tongue doing . . . whatever delicious things Draco's tongue was doing. Moments later, Harry could hear himself gasping as his senses were overwhelmed. And just as Draco promised he would, as he came, he screamed Draco's name.

Draco smiled up at him wickedly through a fringe of white blond hair. Harry could almost hear Draco's voice through the haze of pleasure, _Love you, Hero,_ but Harry wasn't sure if it was really Draco or if he was just imagining Draco's voice. Draco's strong hands held Harry up against the wall while he recovered, then pushed him to his knees.

Harry never hesitated. He felt dirty, and was glorifying in it, like it was a punishment well deserved. He let the heat they generated between them be the cleansing blaze that swept through his bruised soul. He looked up, Draco's eyes were fixed on Harry, though they were narrowed to desire hooded slits. Draco almost seemed to be in pain.

Harry's heart pounded as he fought the urge to think about what Draco was beginning to mean to him, how much Harry needed Draco in his life right now, to walk through this crazy world they had created by his side. Harry focused back on physically pleasuring Draco, reveling in the husky moans escaping the Slytherin's beautiful mouth. Reveling in the power of taking over Draco's control.

When Harry was finished, Draco was trembling, pressing his forehead against the wall while he caught his breath, and smirking smugly. Harry didn't want to acknowledge it, but he felt good inside and out - all over.

"Well, well. Seems like a shower did the trick." Harry rolled his shoulders as he climbed out of the shower. Draco smirked as if to say, 'Sure, it was the _shower_.'

"What do you say, Hero? Ready to face the lions?" Draco rather resembled the king of the jungle himself as he stepped from the shower, wet blond hair in dripping spikes before his turbulent grey eyes.

Harry nodded. He felt strength emanating from his body, as if he had suddenly recharged an inner battery. He was ready. "I just wish there was some way we could be better prepared for whatever we're walking in to."

"Well, we can't walk anywhere like this." Draco looked down pointedly.

"Oh. Right." Harry found himself fighting a blush. "Clothes would be good."

****

* * *

Hermione lay next to Severus, the sheet draped over her bare body. "So you really think they're ok? And what happened to their other selves? Did they just vanish?"

"There really is no way to stop you from using that enormous cerebellum of yours is there?" Severus sighed. "The last I saw the pair from our time line, they were marching out of the Great Hall . . ."

"Harry said that he was planning on going to the Malfoy's for dinner tonight." Hermione sighed. "So, I suppose either way, that's where they are."

"With Lucius." Snape felt the strange complexity in its fullness as equal parts of him felt concern for the Headmaster, and hate for his old enemy, who were the same person in different circumstances.

Hermione shuddered. "I'm never going to be able to look him in the eye again. And hey - why didn't Headmaster Malfoy make me Prefect?"

Snape gave her a look. "He might not be a Death Eater anymore, but that doesn't mean he's not Lucius Malfoy."

"Point taken," she conceded. Hermione drew her knees up to her chest. "I just wish we knew what was going on."

"Draco's a clever boy, he'll lead the bull headed Mr. Potter through it." Snape pulled her close to him. "All we can do now is kill time until they get back."

"Hmmm . . . what shall we do while we wait?" Hermione smiled seductively.

"I have a list." Snape leaned down, brushing his lips over hers.

"At least it's not a chart." Hermione barely got a word out as a sudden wave of nausea overcame her. She leapt up from the bed and ran straight into the bathroom where she very promptly vomited. By the time she had finished and washed out her mouth, Severus was standing outside of the door with a bottle of anti-nausea potion.

"That was unexpected and strange," Hermione said weakly.

Severus' eyes narrowed calculatingly. "Have you been feeling sick, lately?"

"No, not really. Hungry and tired mostly." Hermione yawned and slowly walked back to the bed. "Maybe I'm coming down with something?"

"Yes, maybe."

"What? You look overly concerned." Hermione gazed up at him.

"There is a reason why we don't time travel often or for less than vital purposes, Hermione." Snape sat down next to her, smoothing her hair from her damp cheek. "It's unpredictable what effect certain things will have. For instance, just because you were time traveling during your third year, doesn't mean you weren't aging all of that time."

"Okay . . . nope - I don't get it. So maybe I'm a year older than I think I am, so what? That gives me the flu?" Hermione stared at him confused.

"No, just because certain physical things may be excluded from certain timelines, doesn't mean that they didn't still happen to your physical body." He was staring deeply into her eyes as if willing her to figure out what he was trying to say.

"Uh-huh . . . I knew that." What was wrong with him?

"So, for instance, if you were a virgin in this time line, that doesn't mean that you're a virgin now." Snape tried to be a little more direct.

"I'm not really worried about the state of my virginity right now, Severus." Hermione blew out an irritated sigh. "I'm fine with not being a virgin. I'm eighteen - or maybe nineteen with the time change and that's perfectly respectable. I mean it's not like I'm a slut or something . . . and I really don't see what not being a virgin has to do with me throwing up . . . HOLY CRICKET!!"

"Precisely." Snape nodded in satisfaction as she finally got it. Then he promptly started cursing.

"I've never heard you use so many short syllable words," Hermione commented, her head spinning. How could this be? Well, she knew exactly how this could be, but . . . still . . .

"I am the greatest idiot that ever lived. Why didn't I think . . . ?" Severus started cursing again. "Why wasn't I more careful?"

Hermione took a deep breath. "Well, so much for keeping us a secret. I guess everyone will have to know now, huh?"

"Unless you turn invisible for the next nine months, yes, I would think so. Still, we don't know for sure yet. There's a potion I can use to tell for sure. I'll make it tomorrow." Hermione swallowed loudly. He smiled warmly at her. "And if you really are," Severus continued, tenderly cupping her face, a possessive grin on his face. "I can't say I'm sorry."

Hermione's face split into a beautiful smile as she reached up to hold him close, whispering fiercely, "Me either."

****

* * *

Harry and Draco walked into the bedroom. Snippy and Snarky looked up from their snooping as they heard the door open.

_"Oh, crap, they're already done!"_ Snippy said. _"For a sex god, you're lacking some stamina there Malfoy - maybe you should try again."_

Snarky turned to glare at them, then quickly turned back around. _"Bless my shiny scales! They're naked!"_

_"I meant try again in the shower, for hissing out loud!"_ The snakes kept their backs to them. _"Put some clothes on!"_

The Symmetrius pair walked back over to the closet, ignoring the snakes as they usually did. Draco imperiously began flipping through Harry's clothes. Harry was amazed at how unfazed Draco was by his own nakedness. "Well, Hero, looks like this version of you must have some taste." Draco smirked. "Oh, who am I kidding? I must have picked these out for you."

"That would explain the serious lack of red and gold and over abundance of green and silver." Harry sighed.

Draco slanted a look at him as he pulled out a pair of black jeans, a white tee shirt and a button down shirt just a shade darker than Harry's eyes. For himself, he chose black jeans, a white tee shirt and a slate grey button down shirt. "Does it occur to you that you might not be a Gryffindor anymore, Hero?"

"What are you talking about?" Harry frowned.

"You told me that you told the Sorting Hat to not put you in Slytherin. Maybe you didn't do that this time around." Draco stared at Harry.

Harry's frown deepened and he pushed an impatient hand through his hair. "But there was no Voldemort anymore - I wouldn't have any of his qualities . . ."

"Well, you still speak parseltongue." Draco's eyes lit on Harry's exposed forehead, and he reaches out tracing it lightly. "And you still have your scar. Hey, I'm just throwing the possibility out there."

Harry frowned. "I still don't see myself being put in Slytherin after Ron . . ."

Draco smirked. "Oh? What's this then?"

Harry mulishly kept his mouth shut.

"Perhaps considering that you might have met me first? Since your parents dropped you off properly at the station?" Draco raised an eyebrow. "Perhaps if you hadn't met the Wealey's first, you might have given me a fair shake? And since I was sorted before you, perhaps you wanted to be in the same house as I?"

Harry swallowed hard. If Draco hadn't made fun of the first friend that Harry had made - if they had just met on the train or on the platform - might they not have been friends? Harry had wanted friends more than air back then. And had they been friends, Ron wouldn't have told him about the evils of Slytherin - he wouldn't have known to avoid the house, and if his only friend was in it . . . Harry shook himself. He'd figure out how to cross that bridge when he came to it.

"Oh, relax, Hero." Draco looked him over. "Perhaps I just like seeing you in _my_ colors."

Harry's eyes heated. "Or perhaps I know you like seeing me in those colors."

Draco was now rummaging through a drawer labeled "Harry's." He pulled out a very masculine black leather bracelet, with a silver I.D. tag on it that was engraved "Draco's".

"What's that?" Harry peered over his shoulder. "What, was I pinching your jewelry?"

"I don't think this is mine."

"Um, it says 'Draco's,'" Harry pointed out.

"Yes, but if it were mine it would probably just say 'Draco', and it was in _your_ drawer." Draco argued. He reached out and grabbed Harry's arm. "_Wear it_."

"What? Why?" Harry asked even though Draco had already fastened the leather around Harry's wrist.

Draco's eyes locked on his, the heat in the grey orbs stealing Harry's breath. "Because I want you to."

Harry swallowed hard and nodded, his mouth too dry to attempt to speak. Sweet Merlin, what was happening to them? A thought occurred to him and he dug into the unlabeled drawer right next to his. His eyes flashed as he found the matching black leather band that said "Harry's" in what must be Draco's drawer.

Draco extended his arm, pulling his sleeve up. Harry traced the smooth skin there, an echo of his first touch, assuring himself that there was no Dark Mark. Staring into Draco's eyes, Harry fastened the bracelet on the blond.

_"It's awfully quiet. Are they still naked?"_ Snippy whispered to his compatriot.

_"How should I know, I'm not looking."_

_"Still naked!"_ Draco volunteered quickly, grateful that the snakes broke the moment as he fought the emotion welling up in his chest. He decided to avoid Harry's eyes by getting dressed, choosing nearly the same outfit as he had for Harry, except his shirt was charcoal grey instead of green. Harry dressed as well, tucking his bracelet under the cuff of his shirt. Draco grapsed his hands and moved them aside, as he rebuttoned Harry's shirt that had been done up incorrectly.

"Hey, Potter, did you ever keep a journal?" Draco suddenly asked. He flushed a little as his hands fell away from Harry's button, belatedly recognizing the gesture as incredibly intimate, and wholly natural.

"Yeah, why do you ask . . . oh, that's brilliant." Harry's eyes widened. "But would I keep it_ here_?"

_"I bet you two pounds of chocolate frogs the answer's yes!" _Snippy called.

_"Two pounds?"_ Harry raised his eyebrows. _"You wouldn't happen to, I don't know - have them in your slimly little scales, do you?"_

_"I resent that Harry. We are not slimy,"_ Snippy huffed.

_"Hand them over,"_ Draco demanded. The snakes reluctantly moved off of the books they had been seated on. He handed Harry's journal to him, but he gave it back with a shake of his head.

"I say we read them side by side," Harry suggested. "Do you think we have time now?"

Draco shrugged. "They'll send for us when dinner's served. Let's do a little research before we go down."

_"Dirty!"_ Snippy snickered. The boys ingored the snake.

They stretched themselves across Draco's bed, the diaries opened side by side. Harry flipped through a few of the pages. "Look, they're enchanted. We write back and forth to each other every now and then."

"Never thought I'd end up _reading_ in bed with you, Hero." Draco smirked.

"Never thought I'd end up in bed with you," Harry shot back.

_"Sex god strikessss again!"_ Snarky called.

"That's it." Draco grabbed Harry's hand and pointed at the snakes. There was a loud pop and then they disappeared.

"Where'd you send them?" Harry wet his lips, the feel of Draco's magic whispering over nerve endings already over-stimulated from their shower activities.

"Back to Slytherin," Draco said dismissively. He gestured at the diaries. "Shall we?"

* * *

**Flashback-No Tom Riddle Timeline**

* * *

Draco watched Oliver walk out of the bedroom door with hooded eyes. He could feel Harry's eyes on him from the next bed over, but waited until his late night visitor had exited to address him. "What is it, pet?"

Harry shivered a little. While it was mocking, and likely meant to be half insulting, Harry was fond of Draco calling him 'pet'. Draco had started calling Harry 'pet' during their second year, when they were on opposing Quidditch teams. They had made a friendly wager on the first game, since they were both seekers. Whoever didn't catch the Snitch had to attend the opposing house's celebration, and sit at the winner's feet the whole night.

The first time Harry had lost, Draco had started calling him 'pet', and occasionally stroking his hair as Harry sat at his feet. He had referred to him as such ever since. While Draco was prone to calling people by casual endearments, he only called Harry 'pet', and for some reason it had grown on him.

"Oliver Wood?" Harry schooled his features in an expression remarkably like Draco's unimpressed smirk. He had been listening for Oliver to get up and leave, as Draco's conquests always did.

"You have a problem, Harry?" Draco reflected the same expression back.

"Just didn't know you rode that side of the broomstick, so to speak, Dray." Harry lay back on his pillows.

Oliver had come to see Harry and ended up spending the night with his blond roommate. Harry was well aware of Draco's sexual activities, and ever since . . . special circumstances had cast them out of their respective House dormitories and made them roommates, they had worked out a series of arrangements to accommodate their respective amorous needs.

For instance, Harry had slept in the same room last night, but both he and Draco had cast silencing and locking charms on their heavy bed curtains. However, inevitably, the morning after such events there was an unnamed tension in the air. This was hardly the first time the subject had caused tension. Neither boy ever breathed the word 'jealousy', or lent voice to their particular speculations on the nature of the tension. It had never broken into a full fledged argument, but there it was, nevertheless - tension.

"Boys, girls - it's all the same," Draco remarked dismissively. "Like you've never considered it."

"I haven't actually," Harry protested, feeling his words were a lie even as he spoke them. But they didn't talk about _that._

"No?" Draco cast a glance at him under his lashes. "My mistake."

"What are you trying to say?" Harry jumped up and walked across the room, crossing his arms over his bare chest. He stood in front of the window, looking out onto the grounds. The light silhouetted his lean frame in his low-slung pajama bottoms.

"I just find it hard to believe that you've never considered the possibility. I mean, I have seen you look . . ." Draco trailed off, realizing what he was about to say. He continued on with just a momentary pause, not the kind to lose his composure. "I just thought it would have crossed your mind by now."

"Look at who?" Harry asked softly.

Draco climbed from his bed as well. "Hey, if you don't want to talk about it -"

"What? If I don't want to talk about it then for once in your life, you'd actually let something go?" Harry scoffed, though his voice held a fond tone.

"Well, you're a little touchy when it come to my . . . well, when it comes to matters of the heart, so to speak." Draco looked down. Harry was always cranky after one of Draco's less than moral liaisons left in the morning.

"Matters of the heart? What does that mean?"

"You know, when it comes to fu -"

"I understand the reference. I meant," Harry kept his back to Draco. "When you say, 'matters of the heart', are you . . . in love with Oliver?"

"Hardly." Draco fixed his eyes on Harry's back, his heart beginning to pound, though he couldn't quite explain why. "Have I been in love with any of the others?" The callous nature of the question seemed to strike them both. Draco took a moment to consider his own question. "Momentary infatuation, physical attraction . . . friendship, but I don't think I've ever been in love."

"You're only sixteen," Harry pointed out.

"You ever been in love, pet?" Draco studied his nails.

Harry turned, his eyes locking intensely with Draco's, despite the blond's attempts to avoid his gaze. "Maybe . . ."

Draco's breath caught in his throat. "So, since I've been so honest with you, why don't you answer my question?"

"What question?" Harry's voice seemed to have dropped an octave and it sent chills through Draco.

Draco took a deep breath, and felt an instinctive tug low in his belly. He felt his muscles tense, a shift that made his gaze predatory, his movements stalking. He walked across the room. "You know what question, pet." His voice was challenging and soft. He stopped a little too close to Harry. "You ever thought about what it would be like?"

"With another guy? Or . . ." Harry's mouth felt dry and he licked his lips nervously. Draco's gaze fixed on the movement.

"Or?" Draco smirked.

"Dray, what . . ." Harry moved closer. His heart was pounding heavily in his chest, and he was starting to shake. Draco captured Harry's chin in his hand.

"Have. You. Ever. Thought. About. It." The words were distinct, Draco's gaze direct, demanding an answer to the question that Harry knew was being asked. But was he ready to answer it? The moment stretched between them. It felt inevitable.

"Yes." The word slipped helplessly from Harry's lips.

Draco smiled seductively, his voice sounding in Harry's head, "_I thought so . . ."_

Harry gasped. They had found they could communicate telepathically accidentally last summer, when their parents had tried to make them spend the whole summer apart. Harry and Draco had since then found the connection a little too intimate when they were in close physical proximity. Not sure they wanted to explore the feelings the contact evoked, they had a kind of an unspoken agreement not to do it. Harry took an involuntary step back, running into the windowsill.

Draco stepped forward instinctively. He whispered, "Your heart's beating so fast."

"Is it?" Harry asked.

"_You have thought about me."_ Draco's voice in Harry's mind was making Harry a little dizzy. Draco cupped Harry's face in one hand, gently stroking Harry's skin with his thumb.

"What are you doing, Dray?" Harry felt frozen in place. He couldn't move if he wanted to, which was okay. There was nothing more important to him on the earth right now then finding out what was going to happen next.

"What am I doing? Satisfying the curiosity that's been building for both of us all year. Giving name to this tension between us. Admitting what we've both known for too long."

"I don't know what you're talking about." He did, of course he did, but they were NOT supposed to talk about it. It seemed wrong, like someone had told him it was wrong long ago, but Harry couldn't quite remember why it was so important.

"I feel it, pet." Draco pressed in closer to Harry's body. "_You know you feel it, too."_

"I . . ." Harry shook his head.

"Tell me." Draco's voice was dangerously low, and he slid his hand back to tangle fiercely in Harry's dark locks, holding his head in place and forcing Harry to look at him. "Look me in the eye and deny it."

The truth was in Harry's smokey green eyes. "I can't."

Draco leaned down, his lips taking Harry's in a searing kiss full of hunger and longing. Harry met the kiss with equal passion, the whole moment feeling desperately important. He felt Draco's warm lips move across his and welcomed the sensual invasion as he opened his mouth. Like one of their fencing duels, the kiss moved with a steady rhythm, a dance that reflected the mounting tension that had grown between them, punctuated with rising passion and countless lost moments of almost.

Draco could feel his magic rising through his body, surging towards Harry, pulling Harry's magic towards itself and exploding out of them. A shockwave seemed to pass through his chest, through Harry and explode outward, rocking the castle with a resounding boom. They pulled apart, panting, their foreheads resting against eachother.

"What the bloody hell was that?" Harry fought to drag air back into his lungs, barely noticing that his hands still gripped Draco's shoulders.

"I think that was us." Draco opened his eyes, looking at Harry. This was the other half of what was between them that they did not discuss. The growing realization that there was something different about how they did magic, and especially about how they did magic together.

Harry nodded, trying to fight back the panic that was struggling to surface. He had just kissed Draco Malfoy, and it was the most terrifying, powerful experience of his young life. What did that mean? "We have to figure out what's going on."

"We will." Draco smiled. "Later." He pulled Harry into another kiss. Harry let go of the troubling thoughts in his head and fully surrendered to whatever was to come.

Harry wound his arms around Draco's waist, returning his kiss with full passion. He explored Draco's mouth slowly and thoroughly, feeling the other boy in his head, sensing his emotions and physical reactions as if they were his own. It was the most incredible thing he had ever felt. Emotion and pleasure rippled through his body, building tighter and expanding at the same time. It transformed Harry, transformed both of them, woke some kind of sleeping beast deep within.

"Dray," Harry gasped against Draco's neck.

Draco's lips left a hot, wet path behind Harry's ear, biting teasingly into the tense muscles in Harry's neck. "Yes, pet?"

"Ohh . . . mmm. . ." Harry couldn't stop touching Draco, couldn't get him close enough, couldn't _feel_ enough.

Draco's body felt like it was on fire, every inch of him tingling like his blood was bubbling in his veins. Harry's mouth on his skin was scorching him. Harry hands tightened on Draco's waist as he moved his hips sinuously against Draco's. "_My God, Harry . . ."_ Draco fought for his breath.

"We should . . . stop . . ." Harry struggled for control of his own body, his hands, his lips - hell, his whole body seemed to be moving of its own volition.

"Should we?" Draco pulled back and looked into Harry's eyes. Another wave of sensation swept through his abdomen, and he growled lowly in the back of his throat, pulling Harry's mouth back to his again. Fighting the urge was like trying to fight the gravitational pull of the earth. "_I don't think I can . . ."_

Harry returned the kiss before he could stop himself, but managed to pull back again after a moment. Harry felt like he was going to explode, anymore of this and he was going to lose all control. Draco took a few dizzy steps back, and they stood, staring at each other, each trying to catch their breath.

A sharp knock sounded at the door. "Hey, can I come in?"

Hermione. Harry remembered that she had agreed to come to dinner. While Ron was still distrustful of Harry's friendship with Draco Malfoy, Hermone had accepted it, especially since Harry had given Draco a black eye for calling her a mudblood last year and told him to "Stop acting like a prat, Dray."

"Yeah, c'mon!" Harry called, his eyes still locked on Draco's.

"Hey, what's going on, did you guys here that big boom a moment ago . . ." Hermione's cheery voice died out as she took in the tension in the air. She asked delicately, "I'm sorry, did I interrupt something?"

"No," Harry said at the exact moment Draco said, "Yes."

"I see." Hermione glanced quickly between the two of them, taking in the breathiness of their voices and the high splotches of color on each boy's cheekbones. "Are you sure?"

"Let's go to breakfast. I'll get dressed." Harry quickly walked into their private bathroom. He shot a nervous look at Draco. "I'm freezing."

"Fuck," Draco said succinctly. He sat down heavily on his bed.

"What the hell is going on?" Hermione asked quietly, as she sat next to him. Draco leaned forward, putting his head in his hands and resting them on his knees.

"I think I just screwed up." Draco tried to pull himself together. He was still shaking. "Is it warm in here?"

"Very," Hermione commented shrewdly. "What happened?"

"He . . . I . . . I'm not sure." Draco walked over to his trunk and started pulling out his school uniform and robes. Hermione turned her back to give him some privacy. It was a little awkward, but she had gotten somewhat used to it, after she had agreed to spend last summer with the boys, at both of their parent's secret request. Apparently they had attempted to separate the two boys for the duration of the summer break, and that had lasted about three days, before they found a way around it.

Since neither set of parents seemed to be able to keep track of Harry or Draco, or prevent them from suddenly appearing at the other's side, they had enlisted Hermione's assistance in watching them, much to the Malfoy's chagrin. But once Hermione started observing the two in close and constant quarters, she understood why the Malfoys had agreed to let a Muggleborn into their home. This was much bigger than blood rivalries. Hermione never relayed her suspicions to the adults, but it was understood between them that she knew what was going on.

"Draco, did . . . did you have a fight?" Hermione asked, a feeling of dread welling up in her chest. Please, let it just be a fight.

"Not exactly." Draco pulled his sweater over his head, tucking the bracelet Harry had given him carefully inside the sleeve, hidden from public view. If it had just been a fight, he would have been able to talk to Hermione about it. She was always able to fix his and Harry's fights. "You can look now." With a wolfish grin, he couldn't resist adding, "You know you want to."

"Your charms are lost on me," she responded tartly as she turned back around. "So what is 'not exactly' a fight?"

"Something else." Harry stepped out of the bathroom, dressed and seemingly composed once more. "Shall we?"

Draco loosely adjusted his tie, then met Harry's gaze. He took a calming breath. "Yeah, let's go."

"But -" Hermione protested.

"Don't worry about it, Hermione," Harry said gently, though he was still looking at Draco. "It's fine. We're fine."

Draco nodded almost imperceptibly, a hungry gleam in the back of his eyes. He pulled on his robes, leaving them unfastened and walked to the door, opening it with a flourish. Hermione grabbed her bag, and headed out the door, the wrinkle in between her eyes indicating she was analyzing the whole exchange.

"Thanks, Dray," Harry whispered as he stepped through the door, with a meaningful glance at Draco's face.

"Anytime, pet," Draco said softly.

* * *

**End Of Flashback**

**

* * *

**

"Nobody touches _my_ Harry?" James repeated, as Lucius finished repeating the story of the 'incident in the Great Hall', as they all seemed to be referring to it now.

"But that doesn't mean anything . . ." Lily protested. "I mean, they probably haven't . . . consummated anything, right?"

"Maybe not." Lucius conceded.

"But if I know our son . . . honestly, if I know your son, Lily, I think that's a little optimistic." Narcissa sat forward, speaking up for the first time.

"We'll wait until after dinner," Lucius interjected. "Let's see what happens tonight, and if we sense anything has changed, we can bring it up then."

"I think we should just ask them as soon as they get down here." James crossed his arms over his chest. "Harry will be honest with us."

"We don't know that, James," Lily said softly. Tears gathered in her eyes.

"Lily, don't . . . not here, sweetie," James put a comforting arm around her shoulder, nodding his head towards Narcissa and Lucius. "Harry's a good boy, he'll come through this."

"I know. I know they can defeat . . . _them_." She whispered the word 'them' as if they might be listening. "It's not the fight I'm afraid of as much as . . . the prophecy." Lily took a deep breath, bracing herself with her husband's touch. "It's just so hard for me to think . . . to believe that . . . Harry, _our Harry_ . . . and Draco could be . . . ."

"Could be the most evil wizard pair since Grindewald and Dumbledore?" James shuddered. "I know."

****

* * *

Harry paused on the stairs, listening to his parent's hushed conversation. "Worse than Dumbledore and Grindelwald? What does that mean? What are they talking about?"

"Seems pretty clear to me." Draco pressed his lips together. "Does every prophecy have to be about you, Hero?"

"Apparently." Harry leaned against the wall, feeling slightly nauseous. "So what, I got rid of Voldemort, and now I have to be him?"

Draco reached out, taking Harry's hands in his. "You don't have to do anything, anymore, Hero."

"Oh?" Harry realized that he still felt oddly calm, the words that would have thrown him into a sick panic just days ago, didn't seem to concern him now. Vaguely, he wondered if they should, if not feeling panicked lent credence to their worries. "Then why are they so worried about us coming into our full power?"

"We _are_ fully expressed Symmetrius," Draco pointed out intensely. "What's done is done. We can't take it back. And I know that you're not going to be a dark wizard."

"That's not what you used to think." Harry sighed heavily."What if all that darkness is still in me? Did we forget what I was doing this morning?"

"I said you were going to be powerful and great, and you are. I can deal with your darkness. I'm not afraid." Draco willed Harry to listen to him. "We are what we are, we are what they were afraid we would be. What we do with that power is up to us now. We're free." Draco's voice was filled with a kind of wonder that Harry found touching and comforting. "It's just you and me, now, Hero. Nothing can touch us now."

"Well, if heros really are the last ones standing," Harry conceded. He pulled Draco into a long, hungry kiss. When he pulled back, Draco took a moment to look him over. He held himself with confidence now. Gone was the boy who was everyone's pawn, with no control over his destiny. Power rippled from deep inside him. Power that Draco could also feel emanating from his own body, flowing between them, feeding off of Harry's power.

Harry looked into Draco's eyes, promising fiercly, "I don't care who's standing in my way, Dumbledore, Grindewald, ten Voldemorts - no one's going to touch you now."

"Same back at you, Hero," Draco replied softly.

Together, they walked down the stairs, shoulders brushing. The easy cadence of their movements was strong, graceful, predatory, and commanding. They paused outside the doors of the drawing rooms. They exchanged smirks, drenched in their strong connection.

"And if the prophecies are true?" Harry asked, though his fear had been overwhelmed by the incredible sense of power that was flooding him.

"Then you'll still be the last one standing, Hero." Draco reached for the door. "And I'll be the one standing beside you."

The End?


	26. Teaser

**A.N.'s:** So the sequel is in progress!! I hope you all will read it as I start posting. And oh yeah—I have edited Trading Spaces and reposted it, now features actual formatting (Take that and your crazy formatting ways!), fewer typos and NEW CONTENT – check out the Room of Requirement scene in Chapter 18, for sure! Nearly 50+ pages of new material, interspersed throughout. Please, please, please let me know what you think – and I tried to up the spice quotient, too! I hope you like it!

And, of course, since it wouldn't be fair to update TS with JUST a note about the sequel and no story goodness – here's a little snippet from the sequel! Tell me what you think!!

Love, peace and a couple of sarcastic snakes! Snippy

**Title: Trading Spaces II: Symmetry in Opposition**

**Rating: M or R, if you prefer.**

**Summary: Just a little snippet from the sequel – consider this a teaser/trailer.**

**Pairing: H/D (MALE/MALE SLASH: you've been warned! If you're offended, you obviously wanted to be, in which case, I'm happy to oblige!**

**FLASHBACK SNIPPET **

**Timeline without Tom Riddle. Fifth year at Hogwarts. Note: This takes place before the events of Trading Spaces (which would take place in their seventh year). This snippet is a just a past moment in Harry & Draco's life, as it would have been had Tom Riddle never grown up. Enjoy!**

* * *

_Harry took a deep breath. He could feel Draco moving through the room, like a chill wind. Slowly he looked up, his gaze automatically engaging the silver spheres that burned so brightly in the blonde's face. The cacophony of noise from the other students vanished, replaced by the slow, thunderous beat of his own heart. Harry couldn't move, couldn't breathe … couldn't look away. Harry's destiny was in the Prince of Slytherin's eyes, inexplicably and incontrovertibly their fates were entwined. And in the next second, all of Hogwarts, all of the world would know why._

Harry awoke with a start to Draco's face looming over him. He breathed deeply, slowly, trying to calm his racing heart. Looking up into Draco's grey eyes helped to calm him, as it always did, even though Draco had been the subject of the disturbing dream.

"Bad dream, mate?" Draco looked concerned as he elegantly sat himself on the edge of Harry's bed. He was wearing his outdoor cloak, and regally tossed his scarf over one shoulder. "You're the only one I know unlucky enough to have bad dreams during a catnap."

"Something like that." Harry pushed a hand through his hair as he sat up, nearly bumping into Draco. "Why'd you wake me? Was I …?" Screaming? Saying your name? Crying? All things that Draco had witnessed before.

"No. I have something for you." Draco beamed at him, the real smile that so few besides Harry actually saw.

"Oh?" Harry felt his cheeks start to heat. He steadfastly ignored whatever emotion was looming low in his belly, as he always did when Draco smiled at him lately.

"Happy Birthday." Draco looked up at him through frosty lashes, the sparkle in his eye wicked. He handed Harry a tiny treasure chest, the size of a Knut.

"It's not my birthday." Harry's brain was still sleep-fuzzy, that's why he couldn't think. It had nothing to do with the way Draco was looking at him.

"Yeah, well, I've been trying to get this for you since then." Draco smirked, barely concealing his excitement.

"But you already got me something for my birthday." Harry smiled, settling himself on his side and putting the little chest on the bed in front of him. Draco had bought him a new broom, and a new winter cloak, lined with black velvet.

"Stop being stubborn. You like presents." Draco knew full well that Harry was every bit as spoiled as Draco was, between his doting parents and extravagant godfather, Sirius Black, not to mention Draco and the Malfoy's in general. All of Draco's close friends tended to be showered with the same largesse they showed their son. But no one was ever as grateful for presents as Harry was. It was almost as if he had been neglected in some past life.

"I do." Harry laughed. He especially loved presents from Draco, they always seemed more meaningful, more special. Often Draco's presents were among his most cherished possessions.

Draco gestured impatiently. "So … open it!"

Harry plucked the chest out of Draco's hand and opened it with a flick of his finger. Inside were two green pills engraved with a silver snake in the shape of the letter "R" resting on a velvet pillow. "What's this then? Really fancy breath mints?"

"That, dear Potter, is Rapturous." Draco folded his hands behind his back, letting his cloak fold back around his shoulders like the black wings of some dark angel. "Let me guess, you have no idea what that means."

Harry shook his head.

"You're so sheltered, luv. I adore that about you. It's a very potent potion contained in a sugar capsule. The effects of swallowing it are … well. Rapture. Bliss. Joy." Draco caught Harry's eye as he got up and crossed the room to pour them each a glass of firewhiskey. "It lowers the inhibitions and improves all perception."

"Wizard drugs!" Harry exclaimed. "You're giving me drugs for my birthday?"

"Scared, Potter?" Draco set a glass in front of Harry.

"You wish." Harry considered the pills before them. Despite his constant plea to his parents that Draco was not a bad influence on him, Draco did have a unique way of tempting him into more trouble. Here he was drinking with Draco, smoking cigars in their private room. Was doing this really all that much worse? "Is it safe?"

"Yes." Draco rolled his eyes.

"Bad side-effects?"

"Perfect memory of everything you said and did without your inhibitions, but other than that . . . you'll be a little thirsty. When you come down, you'll probably sleep for awhile." Draco shrugged. "So, what do you say?"

"You first."

"What makes you think I'm taking one? It's your birthday present."

"Because there are two, and if you think I'm letting down all of my inhibitions around the Slytherin Sex God, while you're good and sober, you've lost your blue-blooded mind." Harry smirked at his best friend.

"What, afraid I'll take advantage of you, Potter?" Draco gave him another sultry look from underneath his lashes.

"You're a Slytherin, Dray, I know you will." Harry rolled his eyes and quickly looked away. What was wrong with him? Draco was his best friend. He shouldn't be having these thoughts. It must be a phase. "You ever take this before?"

"No." Draco smiled impishly. "But I've been with people who have. And I always wanted to. What do you say, luv? Wanna be bad?"

"Alright then." Harry shot a wicked look back at him. He popped one pill into his mouth, and when Draco followed suit, they clinked glasses and swallowed. "What now?"

"Now, we get dressed to attend the Slytherin victory party, luv." Draco grinned. "As per our bet, you agreed to be my escort, remember?"

"Did I?" Harry stared up at Draco who now stood directly in front of him.

"You did. And, you must spend the whole evening at my beck and call. And at my feet." Draco's eyes darkened and caught fire.

Harry groaned, both dreading and anticipating the night ahead. He tried to shake away the queasy feeling in his stomach. Maybe it was the drugs. Yeah, that had to be it. "Why do I let you talk me into these things? As if losing to you in Quidditch wasn't bad enough."

"Because I'm cute." Draco reached down and curved an elegant finger under Harry's chin. Harry gasped at how great the contact felt. That _really _was the drugs. Draco winked at him. "Now, let's go."


End file.
